What It's Like To Be Schizophrenic

[@Ihaveschizophrenia1]

Sorry for the low energy video. I just sometimes need to get these things out, and I'm just so drained. I want people to see reality. I've always wanted to keep my videos extremely genuine with no editing.

[@joost2501]

I'm on 2 antipsychotics (diazepam and clozapine), and it makes me really tired and sleep for 14-15 hours a day. I also often have some weird, hard to explain mental pain which I have to keep at bay by using diazepam. Before this I had a long period of anhedonia, but luckily that's mostly gone

[@joost2501]

Maybe look for a walking buddy. Where I live there's a service which finds you people who are willing to come to your home and go on a walk with you. You seem to be wanting to feel connected to other people, and reaching out for help is nothing to be ashamed of

[@joost2501]

@Ouga Bouga Yes, I'd rather not take them, but sometimes the pain is just too much

[@joost2501]

Serious question: Have you tried sleeping less? That's what they're trying with me at the moment but I always go back to sleep after they wake me because I'm just so excessively tired

[@JCResDoc94]

heavy one. i have friends in a similar place (& in june? odd. winter, maybe.) but listen: for the first time we are looking at MDMA, LSD, ketamine, novel orexin & gluatamatergics: on paper, sure, could be counter productive, who knows. but we *do know* the base theories are wrong. & are finally being able to look more honestly. breakthrus can be sudden (or seem that way.) & we are over due! thx for sharing as always. ill send this to one of my closest friends, who is in a similar space. may help. may not (most likely he just wont reply, bc...well you know. bc) but making vids is good? & thr is still hope. it never rains then it pours: thr are threshold fx in science. plus: it is not like we'd have to do THAT much betr for some pretty vast QoL improvements. thanks for sharing this anyway. im glad to have seen it. _JC

[@ethan5817]

I’d definitely hang out with you if I weren’t some random guy on the internet on the other side of the planet. Hang in there man, I really hope things get better for you.

[@ghost2047ad]

I'm diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type, and have been mentally ill since a child. I found I struggled the most with symptoms during my 20s, but I am almost 50 now and things have calmed down a lot. I have come to terms with being solitary and struggling to do basic things, but am glad some aspects of my illness have gotten better. I wish you all the best.

[@cyberiansilverfish7692]

Respect for that! Struggling but survived every day until now! That’s probably the best outcome that might happen…that things calm down a little over time. I couldn’t see myself in your age in the future, but it’s kind of calming to see that it is possible to make it this far…

[@suzannealsop3394]

I hear you Jacob. Please keep speaking to us on here. We love to hear from you. I know the tiredness along with everything else is really difficult 💚

[@tictactoedias1908]

You are such a lovely intelligent young man , with great looks to boot. Sorry you’re on a downer and pray you feel better soon. Sending love and healing from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤ you’re vídeos are AWESOME 👏🏼

[@EmiliaLecter]

Hey Jacob I totally feel for you. The depression never goes away. The lack of motivation, the anhedonia, it never ends....

[@josephlerz6889]

I've been misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia which is even worse, my meds contributed to a diagnosis of pre diabetes and I had to have a cholecystectomy just three years after that too. I have no way of convincing my doctors that their wrong, unfortunately I've been medicated for the last ten years. With a diagnosis like Schizophrenia they comply you on medication permanently for life. Even though apparently 23.71% are apparently incorrectly diagnosed, they try to make you out to be this 1% rarity. From my experience due to being under a mis diagnosis, I've got negative beliefs about Psychiatrist's and Psychologist's 1) They only care for their financial greed 2) They exaggerate your symptoms 3) They undermine you and over speak you 4) They un admittedly lower your intelligence 5) They invalidate and ignore your feelings 6) They offer no compensation or apologies if things go wrong 7) They don't believe in any spirituality or religion because their progressive, liberal and too secular, so their not open to peoples differences

[@fullup91]

You're the nicest guy. I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like the meds are not allowing you to feel revitalised after sleeping. Speak to your doctor about revising the dosage or something. Also, you deserve good friends and people who love you and can help you out of this.

[@tianachidester1566]

i was off my meds and got extra energy earlier... now my meds speed me up lol the sleeping too much may be you are bipolar

[@poxpop]

I suddenly remembered about you. I used to comment a lot with another account when you were posting videos about physics and such. You're great dude, keep going, stay strong

[@timflippance3040]

Jacob, you say you're so lonely, I really feel you would feel so much better if you could just meet some other people sometimes. There must be some groups where you could meet and talk to other schizophrenics, and feel the comfort of sharing problems with other people who understand where you're coming from. Maybe share ideas with you on how they deal with their problems, give you useful tips, but most of all you'll realise you are not alone, you are not the only one struggling with these difficulties, there are others, many others in the same plight as you, some are doing well, some not so well, but they are trying. The BIG problem with living on your own all the time is no-one can sort out their mind on their own, we need other people to share ideas with, share problems with, give advice to and receive advice from. It's natural. We are a social species. We need other people. You cannot survive on your own. Try to find a schizophrenia support group. I KNOW it will be good for you. Tim

[@Metal00m]

A dear friend of mine has very similar symptoms of delusion, paranoia and hallucinations. I'm doing my best to help just by keeping in touch. I watch your videos to help me understand the issues you and they face, and they really do help. You have helped me a lot and I really appreciate it

[@mymayapapaya]

I’m sorry you’re feeling bad. I have bipolar and I’m depressed so much, I know how hard it is.

[@olivierdube8110]

Hey you're that person uploading Elliott Smith stuff, I instantly recognized the username. Yeah, depression is never gonna end

[@mymayapapaya]

@@olivierdube8110 lol yeah that’s me, hope you’re an Elliott fan 🌸

[@olivierdube8110]

@@mymayapapaya f'course, I live for that stuff, amongst other things.

[@melissag1364]

I’ve occasionally checked in on your videos for years man. I will not say I feel your pain or share your exact experience but I have a mental illness that sent me on a dark, totally different path than I imagined for my life. It hurts me to hear this because I feel like you’re speaking for me, I thought the same thing as a kid “will this last forever?” If this our only chance to make a life out of what we are given, we have to at least try. I feel that biological clock ticking too, of course it’s depressing. I get some joy in the small things, the moments that we are granted to feel normal and exist like “normal people”. But it’s also a tough pill to swallow that we may never simply “beat it”, and be ready to take on life to its fullest. But I know I’m not alone at least

[@noreenquinn3844]

My God, Jacob, you are suffering. You are a very good man for sharing and sticking with this. You are a doer. Everyone needs social interactions, a community, good quality sleep, and a bit of outdoor activity to remain sane. Psychiatrists of the world listen up. This is how to help people. Listen to Jacob. Help them mix, get out, and find friends. They need a buddy system, too, and a tiny flexible job that they enjoy and can tolerate and meet friends at. Take it slowly but take it. Psychiatrists of the world teach others also to understand schizophrenia and how to be friends with someone suffering. It could be you or yours suffering someday. Jacob, thank you for sharing what so many are suffering. It makes a difference. You make a difference. Did you ever get your vitamin, blood, diet, and gut bacteria status checked? Get the full work up. Zinc, copper, CRP, hormones, etc.. Fixing these won't cure you, but making subtle changes to diet, etc, where possible, can make you feel a whole lot better. Maybe even less tired? I assume u take your medication regularly and that your psychiatrist is a good one who reviews things regularly. This is obviously important. I know you won't want advice from know it alls like me, but here I go... Perhaps try sitting out on your porch every day, do your reading, writing, etc.. outdoors, and/ or go to a café with your computer to write or do podcasts. Try it? Ask permission first, of course😅. Say, Hi, occasionally to people along the way (as appropriate). Eventually, you will meet people. Take a daily walk to the local store and back . Listen to music or a podcast as you go. If a buddy system existed, you could go with a buddy. Maybe there are volunteers in your neighbourhood? You are an interesting, good-looking guy. You would be good company (most of the time). I understand that in schizophrenia your senses are extra sensitive, and if you are overwhelmed by too much sensory input, everything else can go haywire. When things go haywire through sensory or other ( poor diet) overload, the brain makes things up in order to carry on ( my theory). So wear sunglasses and ear plugs as necessary on your trips out. See if it helps. A weighted blanket can help too at night. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Jacob. The world is a better place with you in it, though you may not realise it at the moment. You are highlighting a plight that many have and which is not being dealt with satisfactorily. I hope Joe Biden and other presidential candidates see your blog and will make mental health a priority. Anyone who knows anyone with connections pass on Jacob's blog details. I hope these comments help. Sorry for being a know it all ❤.

[@SONS-OF-KOUSAILA-]

Don't give up brother. There is always hope. You just have to be patient. There is always science breakthrough . Maybe Tomorrow they discover a cure for this illness. Don't ever give up my brother.

[@LofiBopz]

This must be very difficult to live with . Im sorry you have to go thru this . Hope things get better for you bro

[@beambrains]

I remember watching you back in my middle school years. I'm 25 now. For years and years I have suffered numorous different symptoms as a teen until I reached full blown psychosis when I was 22. I have severe issues of delusions and paranoia. And I can remember as a teen I was having severe mood swings and angry outburst that weren't normal for a teen. I remember as it got worse, I stopped caring about school, I didn't want to go, I didn't want to make friends, I believed all my old friends had truly betrayed me and was living in fear that everyone was talking about me, spreading rumors, plotting agains me. Almost to the point of thinking that I was going to get jumped or hurt by someone when walking home. I first brought it to attention to my mom that I was hearing voices, and constantly felt like my brain was operating way too fast for comfort. I could never focus in school, always failed tests and projects. Had issues with studying and being organized. My parents didn't do much help, my step dad asked if I was on drugs. My mom had me see a psychiatrist for a short time before she "lost" the contact info. Even then I couldn't properly explain what I was feeling. I thought I just had ADHD but it just felt so much worse. I experienced hardships, uncertainty, trauma over and over again. I became an alcoholic when I was 22. After I broke up with my BF at the time, he tried to kill himself in front of me with a gun. Since then I had experienced a bout of mania, and delusions grandeur. I didn't feel like I was me anymore and almost felt like someone else was controlling my thoughts and actions. It lead me into very unfortunate circumstances that gave me more issues. I had full blown psychosis. I was afraid of leaving my home in fear of being stalked by my ex. Whenever I went outside I kept feeling a presence that someone was watching me. The biggest delusion I still have is feeling the sky coming down on me. It's that feeling you get when someone is breathing down your neck. I didn't leave my home after some time, only to go get booze. I'd get blacked out drunk every night and stopped eating. It got to a point where I felt my home was being invaded by the shadow people. I couldn't leave my room after I saw a tall skinless figure in my kitchen. Or I'd see bodies crawling on the ground. I had isolated in my room for a month and stopped bathing. Since then I had recovered from my habits and found a man to support me in my struggles. Recently I ended up in a psych ward after a severe mental breakdown. Although I am grateful that I finally got the help I needed. I have schizoaffective bipolar type, and I'm still trying to cope with these symptoms. I've been having memory problems and coordination problems. My spouse notices me having issues with speaking and stuttering a lot. Derailing and going on from topic to topic and being disorganized still. I often lose things, and my biggest problem right now is memory. I've noticed I've been having issues remembering a lot of what goes on in my day, my brain only remembers the bad things which eventually leads me to tears at random. I'm always taking pictures of the fun things me and my husband do to remember. I'm doing my best. I know you've been struggling for so long, but just remember to always do the best you can. Never set expectations on yourself, be thankful for the little things you can do! I wish you the best Jacob, I know you follow me on instagram so feel free to reach out.

[@JerryJmindfuladvocate]

Hey Jacob, I hope you feel better. Depression is no joke, I know what you mean when you say you need a lot of help in life, lacking support in life. It’s like people diagnosed with mental illness like schizophrenia suffers from a lack of motivation, I kinda I think it comes from medication side effects too the depression. As for sleeping with your lights on I do the same thing but I use a mood light to dim the lights out and it’s almost like having the lights off..

[@lolawilson1027]

I’m glad I came across your channel! At 10:50, you mentioned that you haven’t hung out with someone in 7 years! Wow! That’s a long time. I hope you’re hanging out with some good people now. I’ve been embracing my disabilities more as well. I’m a wife and mother. I have four daughters and been married for 11 years now. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety at 16 years old. I’ve experienced postpartum depression with all my pregnancies. I have to admit, I would be depressed for a full year after giving birth and would I do it again, I probably would lol 😂❤ honestly, I’d be your friend lol you remind me of my older brother. He’s a musician, plays guitar in a band. When he’s not making music, he’s a chef at a local restaurant. He was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar disorder at 13 years old. He also had a learning disability and was bullied a lot in school. I remember fighting other kids when I was a kid because I didn’t like it when they would pick on my brother. His classmates would poke him with needles like a sewing needle. The treatment my brother received because of his diagnosis just breaks my heart when I think about it but he’s taught me a lot about humility and forgiveness. A few months ago, he had an episode. He turned off his phone and started saying goodbye to everyone in our family. That same night, I told him to stay at my place until he felt better. It was nice having him in my house for 3 weeks straight lol I can’t imagine life without my brother. What would be your advice to my brother? He’s doing a lot better now. He’s always checking in with me and is a great uncle to my daughters. Because of what I went through, I’m studying to be a school psychologist right now. And my little sister is in grad school too for counseling, she’s looking to be a licensed therapist. I’m so happy I found your channel! I hope is well and keep unloading. ❤😊

[@moonooze6171]

I've been struggling with mental illness my entire life as well. It is exhausting and life shattering. I don't have schizophrenia, I have OCD, anxiety and depression. It's amazing how much I relate to what you're saying in this video despite the difference in illness. I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now too. I don't know if it helps you, but please know that watching this has helped me in not feeling quite so alone. Thank you for being so open and I hope you are able to find some relief soon.

[@christophersebes6682]

I'm schizophrenic too it's rough remember your not alone jacob😊

[@chrisp4552]

I wish I could help you man. I’ve never suffered from schizophrenia so I can’t try and tell you what to do, but I have struggled with chronic depression (mixed with a feeling of absolute worthlessness). I slept most of the time and when I was awake I didn’t want to do anything (medication made it 10x worse and I hated myself for taking it). I cut myself off from friends and saw my family a handful of times each year, when I did I just couldn’t vibe or connect with them. I spent 20 years alone and defeated, no one ever deserves that feeling of isolation. But after all that time... with all the shit... things started changing. Slowly... but they started to change and things started to fall into place. Don’t ever give up hope mate, you are not alone! Things will get better ✌🏼

[@Ravenwillowwood]

Hi Jacob,I sincerely hope you feel better! I am sorry you have to go threw this! I’ve learned a lot from your videos! One thing I know is your a really smart guy. You’ve done a lot to help others understand what you have. That in itself is a great deal. Your a very special person. Please remember that! Don’t stop doing videos !

[@samanthamatus9534]

It's okay love. Thanks for the video. Always love hearing from you

[@noacassiopeia7092]

Thank you for doing these videos, this is great for awareness and divulgation, for all kinds of people, especially people like me, who wants to be a mental health professional and looking into understanding all kinds of states that might affect my future patients. Sending you all the love. Greets from Colombia!

[@estheradao]

Hello Jacob, I’m also dealing with schizophrenia and it’s not easy at all so I understand how you feel. I don’t know which medication you take and the diagnosis but I hope things get better for you. ❤I send you love, healing and peace. God bless you🙏🏾🫶🏾

[@potsno6]

I’m sorry you are going through this 😢 nobody deserves to feel this way. I hope you are able to overcome this someday 🤞🏻

[@food4444lyfe]

I feel you. The " exhaustion " you're talking about ..... it is soooooooo frigging annoying and debilitating. 😭😭😭

[@AllTimeScott]

Sending all the love and light❤

[@covenant157]

Youre not alone bro that lie that ee are told is that we are all alone, i sleep mostly all day too , i go thru the same thing with the brain thing its very annoying 😢meow. Love you buddy ❤❤❤

[@Ravenwillowwood]

I’m so sorry your going threw this tough time! Depression is miserable. I can sympathize! Your such a special person! I admire what you do. I pray you feel better soon. Don’t apologize for letting off steam! Everyone has to do it sometime.

[@OneMilian]

I understand certaint aspects of your struggles, like depression, can't do anything,nobody understands your/my condition, Sometimes I suffer from visual hallucinations, i always see flying insects appear out of nowhere moving in weird shapes that insects dont do then disappear and seconds later they come back again. this makes it impossible to focus even if i try to ignore it. its crippling.can't drive, cant write programs while this happens. I dont want anyone to pity me like i would be so poor. I want to be treated like a human being. Even though I have sometimes certaint symptoms of schizophrenic illnesses I'm very glad they don't appear that often. My main disease is Asperger Syndrome and depression. It has Pros and Cons. I'm good in Computer science and I learn things that I like very fast and keep them in my memory core. But I'm bad at everything else. I can't even talk to people especially females.

[@KerLe70]

i've been subsribed since a few years and i'm happy to see you everytime you upload a new video. thanks for sharing your experience and i hope you feel better in the coming days, there are people who truly loves you.

[@sophieturner_95]

I've been watching you for years and you seem like such a sweet person. I hope things get better for you. Sending you love

[@jasons4730]

You're amazing dude. We appreciate your honesty. Hang in there.

[@jessjess5246]

I am so sorry you are and have been going through all of this it aint easy by no means you are so freaking strong man having gone through and still going through what you do,you are so strong man i pray you get the healing you desire because if anybody deserves it well bud you do, stay strong bro you got this

[@freedomdreamer1650]

Hang on in there dude, I went through similar things myself when I first came out of hospital and honestly things aren't amazing now either but yeah don't give up the fight, just don't give up hope and try some activities to take your mind off of your stress and maybe try to see it from a different angle? Sometimes in life we think it as it is and other times it is as we think it, or rather the reality or worldview we inhabit is how we think it is, ie is the cup half full or half empty is sometimes down to us, even when the chips are down, and struggle and toil can build good character if you work at it.I mean yeah life is shit sometimes but you're not the worst case of psychosis I've ever seen, you seem like you can kinda keep it together, maybe you'd benefit joining a club or something? Sorry don't mean to make light of your struggles, I can see its not easy for you but just saying, you might be able to capitalise on your mental state by going and doing something that doesn't consist in sitting in your room? I know it's easier said than done but we all got to start somewhere when we fall down into a hole in life, only we can get ourselves out of it although good friends do help admittedly, if we could only be a friend to ourselves then that's half the battle won already...

[@AliBroxToo]

I hope you get the light, support and energy that you like 💥🙌❤️

[@bonobozzz]

🤍 Thanks for the honesty and sharing. Keep your head up bro :)

[@pamdewall4588]

I feel like u a lot!!!! All ur feelings are pretty much relateable. I grew up with ur exact feelings

[@er-s428]

You have our support.

[@Maria-o6n]

Thank you for sharing👋

[@PageMorgane-p9c]

Hi I'm page. I have paranoid schizophrenia first diagnosed with phsycosis. I find great comfort in people who suffer similar or the same conditions of mental health. I can understand what you say you find hard because I am also fighting . I live in a mental health rehab and if you need to talk then I am here.. x

[@josephscott7837]

My heart goes out for you truly

[@Jonothan-m5j]

I feel the exact same way i mean exactly.we could be brothers i deal with the same damn thing you're not alone you're not the only one going through this.i love you hang in there be tough

[@Win.Stun.Church.ill.Club.666]

Get on with it dude power on you have the power don’t slump in the down. Take it head on.

[@thegnarlyvagabond]

I also feel like everyone in the world wants to take advantage of me. Although I wouldn't call it a paranoid delusion, I think the term is "trust issues." It leads me to mostly be on my computer watching youtube, commenting, and hanging out with myself. But I'm alright, I don't need other people in that way. I mostly view people as a nuisance, and at best a pleasant distraction. The meds really tank your energy. Dopamine is said to be responsible for motivation, so I have no idea why they give these meds to us then when complain about being lazy and apathetic they say it's negative symptoms. Is what it is, I'm mostly able to function with the meds, I even got to the point where I view them as helpful. That's really where I would start, if I were you. Figuring out a way to process and deal with the apathetic, lazy draining effects of the medication, and channel it into rational mindedness. The way the medications are supposed to function. Usually it would be worth it to consider moving to a different medication, but in your situation you probably been down that road one too many times. That' really the main advice I have for you right now, but there's a tonne of different things you can do to help out your situation. There is really no right answer, in the end. It is what we make of it. Or as they say in self help, "what you put into it is what you get out." Good luck, a lot of us a really rooting for you as well!

[@Greenskiez]

Sending u love. I hope things get better for you. Dont give up.

[@dave_goldcrest]

Hi Jacob. I don't know you but I can empathise with you to the extent I have also experienced some psychotic episodes and my grandfather was diagnosed schizophrenic. You seem to me like a very nice young man who is very self-aware and trying his best but that you need more help. I wish I could help you in some way but all I can offer is these kind words and a virtual hug.

[@Laughing-Carly]

I hope you feel better soon Jacob 😊

[@oda___4670]

You are battling yourself , and your brain has you exhausted that is for sure but push through . Go on a hike . If we were in the same state I’d definitely hike w ya!

[@pamdewall4588]

Jacob my sweet young man that I’ve been following forever!!!

[@bearfrombeyond]

For years, since I was a goddamn teenager, I've constantly related to you, time and time again. I'm currently struggling alot too and it feels every time I reach this place I'm more hopeless and disappointed then the last. The distance between me and the friends I used to know grows, I've spent the past few years basically in my tiny flat alone apart from my partner comes home. It feels like I've been doing nothing but surviving, trying to heal and keeping distracted like it seamingly has been the case all my life. Meds arent working, therapy is failing. I'm growing more and more distrusting and detached from my partner for feelings he can never understand. My family are a constant stress in my life, and they visit just once a year. I'd often rather just continue being alone. Im too anxious to reach out to anyone, too afraid to go out, hallucinations snowballing. Im so tired. I dont have any energy left to keep trying to get better. I kind of just want to rot away. I struggle to picture my future now. The chance i will ever work gets less and less. All my dreams are becoming futile because I will always be back here in this place. Im sorry for the depressing rant, I really dispise talking about myself on a update video about yourself, Its selfish and I would delete it all but I only wanted to say how badly I want for your happiness in life. If circumstances were different, I'd of loved to hang out with you. At the least, if we get a bit better I'll try to join calls on the discord and speak to you there. You always seem to get through the difficult times somehow, I truely hope you have a breakthrough and can live life more. It'd be nice if we both get there oneday and I can see these same updates but of all the better times you are having. :) If you ever need anything throw me a message :)

[@pamdewall4588]

I’m so sorry for ur fatigue. I live u so much like a son.

[@divinetiming8422]

I was thinking about you and wanted to drop in to let you know and say I hope you're doing good. ❤

[@oliverpetsch5844]

I and we are with you... Don't worry... We know what you are going throw... All training.. God knows what is komming.... Think Training....!!! For the Tim's to Komme...! Don't worry... Every thing will be alright...! God will ondly train you...

[@3niko]

1:40 Yeah me too, definitely relate to you there.

[@mikesloman1680]

As a long time friend it’s nothing but love G never been out to get you, hope all is well man,miss you man hope you figure all this out we’ll kick it again one day

[@AnnaBulaklak369]

Hi Jacob! I get you with the meds I have mild Schizophrenia and I'm thinking of only using antipsychotics a few times a week with CBD since I recalled using only CBD back in 2020 without antipsychotics and it worked for 6 months on me. I wish the best for you Jacob! Hang in there I'm hanging on as well.

[@pedalcar100]

💛🔆🌻💛🔆🌻💛🧸Forgive my ignorance on your illness. I honestly know it helps to connect in the Here &Now, but also in the “ether” with those gone before. Who want Good for You!!! I pray you will open to new ideas and dare yourself to ACT UPON YOUR DESIRE TO CONNECT!♥️ you Must ask for assistance ♥️if you were blind you wouldn’t expect to drive yourself anywhere…you can’t do this alone♥️the Lord bless you…and keep you. The Lord lift His countenance…upon you and Give you peace. The Lord make His face to Shine Upon You and Be Gracious Unto You…Amen and Amen♥️♥️♥️

[@KimRobbins]

I just feel for you and others on this thread. I do understand, somewhat. I can't imagine the challenge. I only understand bc my son sounds much like you in how he feels and the anxiety he faces. He's very severe and is on like 400mg Quetiapine and 2.5 Haloperidol (and sometimes Ativan for the anxiety). I have had a lot of intrusive thoughts in life, depression, etc. so I get some of it. And now, bc of my age, I sometimes experience anxiety. I spend A LOT of time talking with my son, trying to help him think differently. Let me just say, if one can get free so than two, or three, etc. There have been some who have "walked themselves" out of this, some healed, some simply a change in diet. I know you don't really believe in God (I think you've mentioned that) but many say that helps some. CBT has also been known to help but I know it's tough for you to believe it, trust people, etc. Praying for you to have some relief. [Also, check your Vitamin D levels. My son's was very low and was much better after it got above 34].

[@samanthamatus9534]

Maybe you should do your twitch streaming again. I feel like it's something that made you happy. I also liked to watch it occasionally

[@christophersebes6682]

I'm schizophrenic too it's rough remember your not alone jacob

[@eevaoksa5419]

God help him in Jesus name. I have also scitzofrenia. Faith gives me hope.

[@Laughing-Carly]

Stay strong bud

[@christophersebes6682]

Sometimes I find myself so exhausted I can't get out of bed

[@lynnpyonin7538]

I am so sorry

[@lydia8724]

you aren’t alone. My depression medication helps a little but not enough to make me actually functional, i still want to sleep all the time even with my ADHD meds (sometimes they just make me tired.) this is embarrassing but I actually bought yellow converse sneakers this week because i thought maybe if I wear yellow happy shoes it will make me a yellow happy person. like maybe if my feet are happy it will trick my brain. I am desperate to feel good lol. it sucks to feel like you’re searching for pathetic solutions when you have the medication that was supposed to be the solution.

[@staxksN1916]

We are all going crazy us men are always alone

[@erwinzer0]

I think your case is extremely rare, schizophrenia below 13 years old. Always interesting to hear your story

[@perlasa990]

thank you jacob 😘

[@fatcat5817]

I only experienced hearing voices (usually when I was about to fall sleep) for a short period of time. The feeling of hot breath in my ears when the voices would say: "Hey!" "Hahahahahaha." *disembodied nonsensical whispers* The goal? Maybe to scare me enough to stop me from sleeping? 🤔 I had to sleep with the most used ear muffled by a pillow to even relax enough to sleep. Recently, I see things in my vision (usually corners of my eyes) like past? cats, shadow forms, movement/people that are not really there. I am like ???, I swear I saw someone pass by the window. Sometimes even my brain goes blank. *Like autopilot* That I dont even realize until we get back home. When me and my mom go out to buy things, I don't even register that she bought anything else. When we get home I am surprised! that we got more than I thought. It spooks me. Now the paranoia, oh Lord that is a hellish feeling. Woke up from multiple dreams, paranoid about reality. Distrusting of all outside my room except my cat, ready to kill whoever tried to get to me like in my dream, my whole body on a restless edge. The longest one I had was 30 minutes after the dream, of pure paranoia. Hyper aware of every creak, every door opening and closing, them talking. I was formulating escape plans through my window, if I should use the couch cushions to block their attacks, where the weapons were in the house. After getting out of it, the week that followed I doubted the intentions of the very people I cared about so much. Gone through a mere drop in an ocean of what you are going through. 😿 Makes me wish I could take all of the pain of the people of world on myself. If it meant for everyone to be happy. Now, the only thing stronger than the brain is the soul. The brain or whatever it is, is trying to break your spirit. It sees your soul as a threat, that is preventing it from getting what it wants. It uses fear to make you submit and wear you down. I to my knowledge can never see the world completely through your eyes. But, I will just relay what I did to my little pesky demons. For context this was when I was on the cusp of dominating my depression. 0. The hole in my soul caused by my depression, was filled when I was crying at night again. ( *Bastille flaws plays* ) Maybe the despair, lowest of the low points, or inner desire to fill this hole, evoked this good energy to come and fill the void. With warmth, peace, and light. (It's been some years, so I may have forgotten important details) 1. When I felt my spirit/soul get tired of a particularly long battle. I internally with my soul, cried for help that I couldn't fight anymore. To, Please to give me energy to continue the battle. As the enemies got closer and closer. I was given so much, I felt like I could fight for all eternity if need be. 2. My Paranoid moments, (helped by the fact my door was locked and I felt slightly safer)and my cat's presence grounded me to a point of reality. Her sleeping form, in such a vulnerable position still sleeps soundly. That my brain calmed down bit by bit, that there was no danger here if the cat was not panicking. 3. The voices, I think the main reason after trying to block them out and them still being there. I was getting mad at them slowly but surely, even though the voices would make the goosebumps rise, startle me, even kept me awake for the whole night sometimes several nights in a row etc... I took my frustrations out on them. (This is fricking weird I know but I did this, so if you do this too. 😅 Guess we are both weirdos) I snarled at them (I could feel their presences not see them), yes odd but I was lowkey running out of options. Everytime they stopped me from sleeping, I responded with a snarl and snapping at them. Following their presences with my eyes. My room sometimes would feel like it would be filled with multiple to even hundreds. - Now they did not like it one bit, that I was starting to shed my fear of disembodied voices. They intensified in response, I persevered until their attempts to yell in my ears only earned them more fury from me to them to leave me alone. (Since demons run on fear, I just started purging myself absolutely of fear of them) Sure they could get me off guard at times, but over time I repeated the phrases they said in my head to intentionally desensitize myself to the future attempts. Make it so repeated and boring. (I even challened the voices I heard; that is that all you can say? C'mon a parrot can do better than that) To laugh at their attempts, and it made it easier to turn them into background noise. To hopefullt ignore them a lot more effectively.(Hate the fact the moment theres any semblance of words or spoken language anywhere the brain immediately dials in even if imaginary) 😤 4. The things I see but are not really there, They have been occurring on and off sporadically. Recently, they are just a smidge more noticeable. For me it's a lot less scary, if I see something pass by that wasnt really there. I go to verify if it's real, then if its not shame my brain. I even try to scare it back, by giving a bunch of hypotheticals of if a real axe murderer, or killer chases me and if my brain will make them look like they are going to give me a hug, flowers, etc... When they will REALLY kill me. The brain still fundamentally wants to keep you alive, even though the voices may say otherwise. If it did want to kill you, surely it would just stop your heart itself??? 🤔 Big brain moment? 🙀 Will anything that I have written work or even help? I dunno. 🤷‍♀️ I do not know if it even can work with those officially diagnosed with something such as this. But, after hearing what you said I couldn't just leave without typing what I went through and did. 🤗❤️ May it give you some comfort in knowing at least there is a weirdo out there somewhere in the world who snarls at what looks like nothing. 😌😅

[@graycryptosporidium6974]

Stay tough bother! Dont pay attention to those clowns walking on your walls!

[@pliit2101]

You said you're very tired. That's the kind of tiredness that sleep wont fix. Trust me I get you brother

[@rebeccamendez2691]

Jacob, where r u? It's been a month. Make a video please. Concerned if your ok.

[@علاءمحمدسميرعبدالحليم]

May Allah be with u brother

[@jessjess5246]

Have you tried risperidone or the invega sustenna just asking that what I've been on and they work for me no zombieness or anything and gets rid of all the symptoms and allow me to function

[@Adamisgood24]

I always enjoy your videos. I sometimes still talk to you on Snap Chat.

[@fumentarii7217]

I agree with your thoughts on medication, I came off them slowly over three years. Never regretted it. I am 'cured'. You will be in my prayers.

[@Jovel818]

No disrespect but schizophrenia Sounds like anxiety on steroids

[@blogger231-g3w]

Bro, I hope everything works out for you I'm schizo effective myself I know how it feels bro.

[@tashawaters89]

You see all the worst case scenarios and have worked out the safest logical thing to do… but what about making the grass grow?

[@Win.Stun.Church.ill.Club.666]

Recognise dismiss carry on don’t dwell you can function in between.

[@mymayapapaya]

Can they give you a medication to counteract the tiredness? Modafinil maybe? I don’t know the meds they use but maybe you can ask?

[@suzannealsop3394]

I recently wrote this of my experience. Perhaps it might help you, worth a try anyway 💚 The Light that broke the chains ‘Chains of mental illness’ ‘Chains of restraint’ ‘Chains to hold you safe’ Physical Chains The experience I had that broke these chains I will endeavour to describe below. Before I had this experience my mental illness could be described as chains that bound me and confined me within from when I first fell ill. The chains of restraint as part of my healing journey in my case involved medication and the side effects that went along with that and living a lifestyle that benefited the illness in order to cope with it. The final chains to hold me safe before freedom and the light came in was in continuing to take and change medications that helped and lots of sleep to nourish the brain but without having a hope of more. A hope of more beyond the body and something to hold on to when times are difficult. The chains hold you safe but means you have to drag them around with you without having freedom from the weight of them. Spiritual Freedom I can best describe it like the sun shining through the stained glass windows in a church filling it with beautiful coloured light as the Holy Spirit filling me and then bursting out of me like pure white shards of crystal glass breaking the chains of mental illness that had originally wrapped themselves around me so many years ago. I have been on a journey with my illness and although I still take medication and have as healthy a lifestyle as possible trying to do all ‘the right things’ I am only now truly free of the spiritual, emotional burden of psychosis. I feel a lot lighter now only having to deal with the physical aspect and I know that if I keep looking to the light and am filled all will be well. I became a Christian 5 years ago after an experience with the Holy Spirit and my walk with the Lord has sustained me. The spiritual sustenance that I had so lacked broke my chains and the light found a way in. ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’. Matthew 11:28

[@Win.Stun.Church.ill.Club.666]

Don’t sit there putting up with it if you can do something but motorvation can be a real bastard, if you can realise symptoms you are head strong.

[@johnathana5132]

This is like a nightmare. Yeah bro, because you never felt chill. You never actually was just ''being'', something was and is in your mind the whole damn time. That's me actually, but i have some technical thinking problem, being called ''psychosis''. But i feel like i can allter my coinsciousness whenever i want to where i am and what i am. Bro i got so many questions. And i feel like i'm loosing my mind. That's me in like 10 years, probably being able to chill like person having no second thoghts on every day life 👍

[@chesterleespencer5808]

It can be your brain but so more importantly it is the thoughts that have brought you to your knees. \ n//

[@wesheart]

The illness itself can make you tired too

[@autumnzwicker1992]

Hey Autumn

[@pliit2101]

You should do more videos even though you r depressed my man

[@rebekahboseman2975]

sometimes medication is worse than the actual disorder itself

[@Win.Stun.Church.ill.Club.666]

Don’t sit in your room putting up with it do something. Don’t get in an autonomous repeat of functioning without out. Make the out of situation. Get out with an agenda. Activities are hard to do, I have put up with motivation troubles from hell they seem non breakable, other than that I don’t know what to say pal. I can beat this maybe.

[@djh2900]

I like or love animals I do.trybget ur self a dog ittd not just an animal but a campion for u ...stay strong bud

[@Slidehhy]

I am skitzophrenic too bro keep the head up done give up they could be a cure very soon

[@QwertyS3]

Schizophrenic

[@josephscott7837]

Don't you think meds are basically poison?

[@mirecar]

You try and grow spiritually and than ask your spirit to help you overcome brain issues

[@psychedelic.s]

DO MEDITATION

[@BlackV4You]

Jacob. Please dont let this scare you, these things wont be able to hurt you. If i know about something, i feel i have to tell you about it, and hoping it will help and not the opposite. Have you checked out Jerry Marzinsky? He worked with schizo patience for over 35+ years, he knows it's not hallucinations, and I also know It's not. This all began after i started recording EVP (electronic voice phenomena) i started getting class A voices and i started talking to them and got responses on the recordings. Then after a while they came into my life and i hear them with my naked ears. It has been hell for 3 years now 24/7 even when i wake up i hear them this is what they do it's about to make you kill yourself or get killed by medication. But I'm in a day and night different place now, much better, in the beginning it scared me to almost death, they do this thing they always lie, and they always threatening you that they will kill you, but it's all a lie. These are real entities doing this. KZbin Jerry and listen to his podcast interviews, it will help tremendously. There are ways out of this, and medication will not help! It fucks you up in the long run, please listen to me and take my advice. I have so much stuff that will help you out.

[@BenjaminCarr643]

Jerry Marzinsky

[@ceciliajonsson4434]

❤️