My Favorites from Rifftrax - Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones

[@Dragonrider1227]

the greatest crime of that movie is that it has Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee with Lightsabers and they still managed to make it boring

[@mantislake4141]

Yes! Those 2 are towering beacons of charismatic talent that normally lend great quantities of dignity to the films they appear in. It takes a very special kind of narcissistic putz to make them as wooden and dull as they are here.

[@geckokid8265]

And they don't even let Samuel L Jackson say "motherfucker"

[@MindFlowersDotNet]

"The dialogue crackles like pudding."

[@sailtheplains]

"Sometimes a killing spree makes you feel icky inside."

[@jokertone36]

Into the weenie mobile and off I go!!

[@PetProjects2011]

I like the part when Padme's jumpsuit gets torn and Kevin remarks, "That bares my midriff!" And Mike says, "What an amazingly alluring injury!"

[@guardingdark2860]

Call me crazy, but I can't shake the nagging suspicion that they don't like Jar Jar all that much.

[@thisguy902]

I think they don't like the movie, period.

[@mantislake4141]

If Jar Jar and Hayden Christiansen were the worst things about this trilogy, the films MAY have actually been tolerable.

[@ellnats]

practically EVERYONE hates jar jar

[@AdamWestish]

I saw this with a two year old who I'm pretty sure hated Jarjar too.

[@YPAReviews]

I couldn't stop laughing at the weenie mobile ehhh sound.

[@Wes964]

Oh, I forgot to mention this in the description: MST3K fans should remember the "Wienie Mobile" joke....

[@franciszaldivar337]

While I hate the prequels, I place most of the blame on Lucas not the actors

[@nolanhewitt2563]

Francis Zaldivar well it is stated in the prequels that he wanted to take full reign

[@franciszaldivar337]

Nolan Hewitt and look what it got us

[@nolanhewitt2563]

Francis Zaldivar did not bother me and i didnt bitch and moan like everyone else

[@franciszaldivar337]

Yeah well when I was young I actually liked eps. 1 & 2, but what really sealed my dislike for the prequels was Episode III

[@nolanhewitt2563]

Francis Zaldivar mine was the cheesy scenes in episode 2 i was very young and wanted more action and my dad took me and my sis out cause i was being loud

[@indianajohns8943]

0:45 "Jackson's thinking is a contract really binding?" Too funny!!

[@skynet091287]

The worst thing is, the horrible acting in the prequels aren't really the actors who are bad, it's the director who's at fault here! All the actors have made films with at least passable acting, so they have all proven that they can act (even Haydan Christensen...)

[@Firguy_the_Foot_Fetishist]

Poor Hayden. These movies killed his career.

[@FuzzyBunnyofInle]

Reading this years later after watching the Ahsoka series...

[@Adamgontierfan19]

I love that Mike refers to the clone army's entrance as: "what fresh tedium is this"

[@control_the_pet_population]

... it's starting to look like a stupid version of World of Warcraft

[@MechaWolf0]

Title crawl: "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." Kevin: "Well not far away enough apparently because this ruined franchise keeps coming back to haunt us!" That one aged better than fine wine.

[@Dillypepper]

"Around my butt, smooches plant." "Good, Good. I'm glad we didn't miss the pivotal parking scene. It is the dramatic lynch pin the movie needs." So good!

[@gronie17]

The biggest thing that bothered me about the prequels was everyone ignoring Anakin going all My Lai on an entire village of Sandpeople.

[@AmbientPixels]

Mike: "Freedom!' Kevin: "Ow, I broke like 47 legs!"

[@TMX1138]

9:19 - 9:27 Mike: "Do - do we have any idea who is fighting who?" Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy): "Yes. The director is fighting the audience and the audience is fighting back." Mike: "Ah, and who's winning?" Chad Vader (Matt Sloan): "20th Century Fox." Or in Episode VII's Case, Walt Disney Pictures!

[@Guigley]

00:20 Man, that's gotta be some of the most poetic film criticism I've ever heard.

[@TheInstantClassic1]

Jango Fett and Christopher Lee were the ONLY two contributing factors in this movie not being horrible. Well those two and Yoda's EPIC battle scene

[@JustPippaNY]

1:37 Into the Weeniemobile! Weenieman away! I rewatched the MST3K movie for the first time in over a decade, and I gotta say: it held up MUCH better than Phantom Menace in 3D!

[@beyonddisturbed]

When Anakin was carrying the corpse of his mother in a show of hands who here said or was tempted to say "Well...looks like hes now Little Orphan Annie"

[@howardmctroy3303]

"Oh no, Weiner Head is back!" is an appropriate response to seeing Ki-Adi-Mundi.

[@Zerotrance11]

Auuugh! It's just not fair! These movies had so much potential! Think about it, the tragic story of Anakin Skywalker and the rise of the Empire. I see the scene of all the clone troopers and their gigantic star ships lined up in a cold, military formation, the imperial march playing in the background, and I get chills up my spine, only to quickly remember that this is Star War 2, and that the rest of the movie is a boring snorefest with some of the cheesiest dialogue in the history of film. George, you know I love ya, but Jesus! How does someone drop the the ball that hard?! And at the end of his career too. It's a tragic story in of itself, really. If he had just made the effort to give a shit, then these films could have been at least passable at best.

[@Wes964]

@40Pacino I fucking LOVE Blade Runner. And Lucas is definitely ripping Ridley Scott off. RedLetterMedia did a really good job of showing just how bad the rip off is in their Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones reviews.

[@kira-dk2mx]

nothing in the whole world can make you miss Jar Jar. Nothing!

[@dragonkeeper19600]

"Almost" was the key word, there.

[@TF2Fan101]

At least Filoni fixed him in Clone Wars.

[@DarthJoshReturns]

Everybody keeps anti-hyping Rose up like she's the Second Coming of Jar Jar, but I don't see it.

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Just keep your mouth shut, frogface”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Goodbye now”

[@MatiPryjomko]

So George Lucas's direction for this scene was "Act natural, be yourself, now pick up that knife and fork TO EAT YOUR PEAR"!?!?!?! XD

[@Ben-wk4je]

"The perfect bowling ball......."

[@SpencersStuffTV]

I love you... Not as much as the water hahahahahhahahha

[@kissfan7]

If "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and RiffTrax has taught me anything, it's that bad directors and lingering shots of people parking are like peanut butter and jelly. Also, Yoda can detect someone feeling bad because his mom died but not a miniature genocide?

[@theworldiknow6482]

So, George Lucas is going to have to watch these chase scenes for all eternity right...cause he is going to hell.

[@joebob4751]

That punish emo is hardly suited considering the fact that he thinks these are good

[@kira-dk2mx]

the one good thing Darth Vader did in his reign as a sith lord was ordering the genocide of any and all gungans, Jar Jar being the first to die. we thank you Vader.

[@ThatIckyGuy]

Around my butt smooches plant.

[@kira-dk2mx]

So much CGI, its too dense.

[@nt13987]

Mike's whiny Anakin is spot on!

[@JamesOhGoodie]

@Wes964 And yet Episode III distilled all that pain and suffering to one exchance. - "You are so beautiful." - "Only because I am so loved." I'm not kidding, there was an audible collective groan by the audience in the theater when they said that.

[@nospam3327]

"What about us, muppet boy?" is my new catchphrase 😂😂😂 6:48

[@ianschulz1]

I just had a revelation: If you take away the gargantuan vfx budget, the celebrities, and the Star Wars label & legacy, this movie is basically SPACE MUTINY! Terrible writing, execrable romance, tedious action, idiot characters, vague conflict based on people who want to separate from the government, some ill-defined magical destiny power - it's all there! [Plus the music is mostly recycled, like the BSG-Southern Sun effects].

[@AnnieMalmstrom]

"Who's winning?" "Twentieth Century Fox."

[@DarthJoshReturns]

That didn't age well.

[@theusernameistheuser]

Lucas does scene wipes because he's trying to Jedi mind trick the audience... "you like this, it's Star Wars"

[@jacktomlin6304]

"They legalized what everyone was thinking..."

[@jamesfrank3213]

I didn't realize Joel Edgerton played Uncle Owen. Dude...do you even realize what you just did?

[@Marshmally823]

"Sometimes a killing spree makes you feel icky inside." Ahahahahahahaha

[@PyrozPlayground]

Into the weenie mobile and off I go! Ehhh... ehhhhhh LOL Died on that one.

[@jamesdenofantiquity]

I would say that the chase scene was the best part of the movie. Also, it shows that George never wrote any of the scripts because another, good, screenwriter would have shown the border dispute and not the entrance we got.

[@harrypotter7652]

“Here honey, you have some intestine in your hair.”

[@knightclawer]

2:44 to 2:56 -the diagloge and action with Mike, Chad Vader and Kevin- LOL

[@JustinistheWalrus]

I couldn't take a drink for 11 minutes due to fear of drowning while laughing.

[@gotnukes70]

the hysterical laughter at 3:04 gets me every time.

[@monkfan72]

I watched Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones last night (sans RiffTrax.) Later that night I had an unbearable migraine and the next morning I was vomiting violently. Coincidence? I think not.

[@MilesTailsProwerfan9]

"D-do we have any idea who is fighting who?" "Yes, director is fighting the audience, and the audience is fighting back." "Ah, and who's winning?" "... Twentieth Century Fox." Too true... bastards... :D

[@turb05]

@Wes964 "Put the men's room in the tower, what was I thinking?!" "Into the Wienie Mobile...Wienie Man away!!"

[@banananer16]

...yes, tuscans, like petrarch, and gallileo, and zafferelli... ooo! nuclear silly string!

[@mantislake4141]

"Bring the force back into balance." What does that even mean? Sweet buttery Christ, this movie is bottomlessly awful. That these 3 wonderful midwesterners hilariously riffed it MIGHT explain its existence.

[@bastianskaye]

"I love you." But not as much as the water.

[@textthing]

@hollyhuffstutler Funny how Jackson seemed to lose all credibility as an actor once he appeared in these things.... well, they all did.

[@Wes964]

@Anynom I haven't seen Twilight, but based on the sample rifftrax of it that I have seen, you may be right. I'm going to get the Rifftrax for the Twilight movies soon, so I guess I'll know for sure soon.

[@dawnbreaker2912]

The nostalgia-blindness is strong with this one.

[@ellnats]

2:34 love that whole conversation

[@TMX1138]

And then, he was Nick Fury. "I have had it with these mother(bleep)ing rouge birds on this mother(bleep)ing helicarrier!!"

[@jjb2385]

1:35 Ugh, Into the wienie mobile and off I go....Ugh, Uuughhhh

[@kewltyler44]

Every shot is so dense there's so much going on.

[@issavirgo4838]

Jar Jar caused the empire to happen

[@chrisz71]

what was said at 5:12? vampit? What word did Kevin use?

[@AugustEmber666]

Episode 3 is worth one watch at the very least.

[@FocusReborn44]

0:50 Look at how flat and boring that shot is. You've got like 7 other characters just stood there doing nothing. It's about as captivating as watching paint dry. Urgh.

[@phillipwattsjr.4714]

I count 8, but yes...this is an awkward shot.

[@mantislake4141]

At least watching paint dry has the possibility of signifying a job well done. No such accolades here (except for the Rifftrax crew).

[@itsaguinness]

Good shot my young Padawan!! So bad....

[@Atheneastro]

4:15 God, Lucas, why did you have to make that ship look like a Gungan head!?

[@Filhote_deDisgrassa]

All I have to say is... I love the water.

[@jellyfishrage33]

I need to stop watching these. The prequels are so bad, I have to shake the impulse to stab myself in the eyes.

[@AllenReyes-t7n]

"Not far away enough" 😂

[@sokarsfleet]

I'm 21 and is it wrong that i prefer to watch the cartoon series on cartoonnetwork than these horriable and stale prequels

[@TheKilohn]

and the chickens.... oh yes! the chickens

[@tehhypo]

"Ah, so not on an intellectual giant like her?" You said it, Mike. How are we supposed to accept that an airhead like Padme is an esteemed politician? (Unless, of course, she's supposed to be the Star Wars equivalent of Sarah Palin, in which case it makes perfect sense.)

[@JamesOhGoodie]

@Wes964 Speaking of which, concerning Hayden's performance, am I the only one reminded of Mikey from "Teenage Strangler"?

[@textthing]

It also has Peter Weller, which is always a good thing.

[@jamesfrank3213]

So did George Lucas say he wanted every vehicle sound effect done with an electric guitar?

[@Eliezar18]

Did you miss his lines during the speeder chase?

[@40Pacino]

The whole coruscant glowing city thing seemed to be ripping off blade runner, which was a quality made science fiction film I might add.

[@jorgezarco9269]

Aunt Beru's facial features changed. She's a shape shifter!

[@Wes964]

@mst3k4evur Very true. Even if the Twilight love scenes are worse, that doesn't erase the fact that I cringed with every single line of romantic dialogue when I made the mistake of watching this movie in the theaters when it first came out.

[@BenderRodriguez10]

I can say from experience that Rottweiler turds don't stink as bad as this movie does.

[@ianschulz1]

I'm curious, what do you like about them?

[@textthing]

@TheReilly8 Kurosawa said that the main factor in making a good film is a good script.

[@danihettinger8932]

Oh, my god. How did they not screw up Threepio!? The one character that wasn't a heaping pile of fecal matter, one that even dung beetles would reject, and it's the one that acted as comic relief in the original Star Wars!? I am so disappointed...

[@TMX1138]

Such as his reaction to the Luke's vision in the cave on Dagobah.

[@Xzeihoranth]

Why exactly did the soundtrack play PALPATINE'S theme during 7:20? It's not like Vader has his own theme...

[@Nightweaver1]

I haven't seen acting this wooden since Pinocchio Meets the Ents.

[@mst3k4evur]

@monkfan72 That's an odd reaction. All I did was pull out clumps of my hair and try to hang myself while yelling out "IT'S A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE!"

[@TMX1138]

I hope so... Because if Disney botches Episode VII, I probably might lose hope in it, since they said "no" to continuing TCW, and they shutdown LucasArts as a developer.

[@00vudu]

Whoops filled mah jumpsuit... Okay emptied mah jumpsuit and filled it back up again...

[@Hollyberrystreats]

"Jackson's thinking, 'Is a contract binding?'" Funny line, but remember Samuel L Jackson did all three of these plus XXX and Snakes on a Plane. Just sign the check, cuz he does not care.

[@itsaguinness]

She's in pain...she's not the only one....

[@TMX1138]

And the sand jokes continued into Episodes III-VI whenever Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is on screen.

[@inudaiyoukaisesshoumaru3862]

The black Jedi with the purple light saber was actually a decent actor. I wish he had more screen time. By the way, the guy who play Jasper in Twilight could emote more than Hayden Christensen.

[@SerPinkKnight]

1:10 JarJar is the only fully CGI character I know who could mug at the camera

[@deathrooster14]

Yea that's true he actually had some really funny lines in that one.

[@kentcox5788]

REMINDS ME OF FRESHMAN COLLEGE: U.C.DAVIS....GO AGGIES!!!!

[@nickdirienzo2849]

Eye patch man looks a lot like Bison from street fighter.

[@deathrooster14]

Oh! Right. I found him so lackluster in this one I forgot about him. Every time he'd speak i was slightly suprised, and his jokes were terrible.

[@atimholt]

I came here for the “weenie-mobile” scene. lol.