My Fiancée's Sister DAMAGED My Prosthetic Arm, I'm Going To SUE!

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Holy hell, that SIL in the first story is MONSTEROUS. He needs to sue her to the ground and leave that fiancée.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@Dorothy Dedmon yes! She literally called her sister after destroying his means of living an easier life because she knew her sister would gaslight him into thinking he was at fault for HER actions. That poor man would be battered and mangled by her sisters actions and fiancée would still blame him

[@tara5807]

I'd be running when sister started damaging stuff... that's a nope out for me.

[@cherilynlarsen8104]

Dump your fiance. She hasn't bothered to understand and empathize with your disability. This is a huge red flag and shows what the future will be for you if you marry her. She will always be more loyal to her family than to you.

[@sun_chariot6141]

She's a doormat and immature. Clearly not ready for marriage if she refuses to be an adult and hold her sister accountable.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

I'm actually surprised I haven't seen this yet.

[@waltdoherty540]

The prosthesis: Please sue her: you really cannot afford not to. Also, breakup; your "fiance" is no gem.

[@fatcatlol_4820]

story 1: ditch the fiancé and GET. THAT. MONEY BACK.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

💯% agree

[@Sophie-jt3sj]

That's exactly what I was going to write!!! Like what's wrong with them... 😳

[@BiteSizedCrafter]

This!

[@BMakabre]

My thoughts exactly. OP needs to dump the fiance (she's proved that she can't be trusted) and sue the sister for the cost of the prosthetic.

[@blueberry1804]

Agreed the fiancé doesn’t care for the physical and mental health of OP. Major red flag I bet she still wouldn’t care if her sister did more damage physically to OP and just say “ you should apologize for upsetting my sister”

[@Keiji555]

Wait... the sister isn't just reorganising the house without permission, but damaged an important article that affects the living quality of a disabled man? What if the way the furniture was set was there to help him live independently? The sister needs to pay not just for the table, but the prosthetic, plausible wage differences if this affects his work, and emotional damage. As well as plausible lawyering fees. This isn't her house.

[@jameson1239]

Exactly imagine if it were seizure or heart medication she moved

[@Keiji555]

@@jameson1239 yup. I have epilepsy, and my mom and brother don't touch it. It stays next to my bedside. And in the case of epilepsy, there is also a matter of keeping the furniture in a set area to avoid injury. And what if the Op was blind? Blind people do navigate their home through memory, and knows where everything is. This would be a death trap for him.

[@jameson1239]

@@Keiji555 yep basically don’t touch anything that isn’t yours without permission

[@robertbishop5158]

He should have insurance since it cost so much If she trying to stay busy she needs to go Out and get a hobby it's that simple

[@lynlyn202]

Prosthesis are very expensive, custom made and, not even covered by insurance it gives amputees independence/function/let’s them feel somewhat normal psychologically so accident or not that step sister better pay up

[@andreawalker8343]

That and I imagine that losing one must feel like losing a limb all over again! Poor OP!

[@adammidson3135]

Cherrybomb, I understand what you are saying but sadly it is way more expensive in the US compared to the rest of the world. Check out this American living in Australia and her view on the cost of living with a prosthetic leg in Australia compared to the US. kzbin.info/www/bejne/apakkGOubbSBqbc

[@adammidson3135]

@@crazywhat8472 😂😂😂😂 Would you like some Anusol for your butt hurt??

[@adammidson3135]

@@crazywhat8472 could you point out where I compared our economies?? I just compared the sick and pathetic US so called healthcare system to Australia’s amazing healthcare system. 😘

[@Arthus850]

Story 1: the fact that the fiancé didn’t have OP’s back and underplayed his worries despite knowing the severity of his disability shows how much respect she actually has for the man she’s going to marry. She’s does not deserve to marry him. And quite frankly, I think if she thinks her sister is so precious, then she could pay what her sister owes OP herself. Sue them both.

[@funwithcoding2818]

Yeah the financials are bad enough, but this is literally this mans arm

[@itsjustmaddisen]

(Hopefully) ex fiancé needs to be Spartan kicked the fuck out.

[@Julaeable]

I have to use an electric wheelchair. First of all my family is extremely supportive of me, so I got to get really imaginative here. IF my SIL damaged my wheelchair and behaved like that, my partner would probably burst an aneurysm arguing with her, but first he would get me a new wheelchair. I have no idea how the fiancée can behave like that. We are talking your future husband here. Wtf.

[@rhylla_864]

Same my extended family are really good about my mobility aids but my husband would snap a head if anyone interfered with my rollator or canes. If his family did he'd be livid.

[@fealubryne]

Seriously, before I got my good manual wheelchair I was beyond depressed, didn't leave the house for months. It's literally my freedom, my independence. I would be rabid with anger if someone broke it, especially if they were doing something they shouldn't be in the first place (if you're in my house leave my shit alone, don't move it without permission!). And the fiance just blowing it off like nothing?! Oh gosh, ditch them both, they sound awful.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 1: NTA. I know she wants to help by cleaning but there's a limit to where helping can go. Damaging things, especially someone's prosthetics, is one of those limits.

[@darkshadow5581]

Agreed, though even cleaning another person's bedroom without being asked is hella creepy.

[@theinquisitorisamage1653]

@@darkshadow5581 IMO, entering someones bedroom is creepy without their express premission.

[@maheenahmed6653]

She’s not trying to help. She’s just trying to mess with shit because she thinks that’s her house

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 2: NTA. And he will never change. She’s going to wind up being the one who does all the housework and is the breadwinner if they marry.

[@toffiet3347]

@@maheenahmed6653 yeah agreed

[@lilydragonsupersta12]

Story 1: If they live in America all three of them know how fucking expensive anything medical is. Knowing that OP needs this equipment and she was still careless with it, makes the sister the one at fault and the Partner not backing OP up is worrying at least. For me id re evaluate the relationship and gather up evidence for the lawsuit. Because who knows how OP's partner will act during it. Sue the sister and get your money/arm back this isn't okay. The sister is an adult and should know actions have consequences.

[@lilydragonsupersta12]

Also I forgive me I have severe dyslexia, certain words make my brain hurt when I try to spell/type out.

[@jameson1239]

@@lilydragonsupersta12 it’s fine that’s better English then mine

[@owl7072]

Story 1: She quite literally broke Op's arm and they're both expecting him to just get over it and for him to stop being "harsh". She damaged his property, a device that he *needs* in order to live his life properly and they have the audacity to not only not pay for it, but brush it off like it was nothing. I hate to immediately jump to the typical "dump her" response but holy shit I would seriously be reconsidering that relationship if that happened to me. She cares more about protecting her "precious" sister than the fact that her partner is missing a limb and the prosthetic he went into debt for is ruined because of her. Accident or not, it's bullshit to not pay for a replacement of something that someone *needs* that YOU broke.

[@lorifiedler13]

It was an accident! Yeah, so are car crashes. People still have to pay for those! Not having a fully functioning prosthetic will effect his job, could cost him his job depending on how much time it takes to get the settlement and replacement.

[@msmithmitchell1604]

I have a leg prosthetic and would be wheelchair bound if I couldn’t use it. Yes. She should pay for it. 100 percent. I hope that he checked his apartment insurance. I know home owners insurance would cover it because he was at home. But she should still be held accountable. OP should also reconsider his relationship with his fiancé. If she doesn’t understand how life altering this lose is. Perhaps she’s not the woman for him.

[@saliharoshan7636]

i still don't get how paternity fraud isn't a punishable crime

[@HackiePuffs]

“Abusive womans?? PFFFFFFFT!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪🤪”

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Yeah, it totally should be. I personally think that paternity tests should be standard when a child is born. Imagine how many issues could be avoided this way.

[@martinprochazka3714]

​@@thatwitchychick2717 That's not going to happen because gender equality is only pursued when it advantages women and this is obviously not the case...

[@christianedwards9025]

@@HackiePuffs Ugly troll?

[@crayolaclouds2696]

@@christianedwards9025 with their comment, they meant that society hasn't caught up and doesn't recognize abusive women. Hell, pedo teachers get away with it when they're women, while the male teachers are vilified. Society desperately needs to catch up.

[@dennislemasters4339]

op your fiance's sister committed a crime destruction of private property especially if your prosthetic arm no longer works get the police involved

[@dennislemasters4339]

@@aduckofsomesort did not know that

[@katherineklevenow1808]

Yeah, call the police

[@trixiedoodles9297]

The poor guy in story one needs to get both those heartless women out of his life as soon as possible.

[@bdhu2001]

1. NTA. Sue the sister and ditch the fiance. Also document the other stuff the sister did (I believe that the sister was being malicious). The sister was probably upset that the fiancé still had a relationship and wanted to trash it. The first time she destroyed something, OP should have kicked her out. Evidently there was always other places the sister could live since she left, because she was upset. 2. NTA. Divorce him. He’s a waste of your time and don’t listen to family. 3. NTA. He should have asked her if Dutch was okay when he made the date so that she could save up. 4. NTA. His ex is TA. OP has to have a chance to deal with all the stuff the ex is still trying to do to him. It makes sense that he doesn’t want to see the mom. He was trying to have a relationship with the daughter, but the mother keeps screwing with him.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Last story: NTA. He is not an AH to distance himself from a child not his own. Legally, the more he hangs with the child, the more the judge will hang him for child support. The child is innocent, so is he. And both are being punished at the hands of her manipulative, conniving mother.

[@darkshadow5581]

Agreed, and in response to the YTA reddit comment, its the same reason people leave when their SO cheats. The trust has been broken, and some people will life every day with the slighest reminder bringing intense emotions and problems, the only difference is the reminder here is the poor child, and the backlash they might get are just as real worries as who the child sees as their real dad

[@soupisthebestrolemodel2070]

If he goes to the birthday the judge will take it as him willing to pay child support and if it’s not his kid he shouldn’t have to pay child support.

[@draughtoflethe]

OP is the only father this girl has known for all 13 years of her life. Suddenly being told "I don't want you anymore" because OP found out someone else was the sperm donor is going to traumatize her and leave her with serious abandonment issues. He IS her dad in all the ways that matter to her, and now he's turning his back on her over something she can't control. Yes, he's TA.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@draughtoflethe didn't say he wasn't her dad. But she is not biologically his and because we have a shitty legal system, it wouldn't be ideal for him to continue as a judge will see this as nothing but "he should be financially responsible for this kid". He shouldn't. Just as she's traumatized, so is he. You can feel however you want. In my opinion, this guy is also a victim of her mother and he has a right to protect himself from her, even if it means distancing himself from other parties. And he's not an AH for doing that

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@draughtoflethe I'm sorry but that means nothing. He was lied to believe the child was his. He is within his rights to want nothing to do with them and the more he interacts with the child a judge would make him pay child support if they find out. She should not be his responsibility to take care of financially. Kid is traumatized that's not on him it's the mother's fault.

[@jinxgiz3104]

Story 1: NTA. Honestly, if I were OP, I'd be making sure I had the receipt for the prosthetic arm AND the engagement ring

[@truemannottingham8458]

For me, it really sucks when commenters judge fathers for their reactions when they find out they've been betrayed for years about whose kid they've been raising. "You're still her dad. She just got her genes from someone else." What an idiotic and insensitive statement that ignores the ENTIRE PROBLEM OP IS GOING THROUGH. Sure, he felt like a father yesterday, BUT THEN HE FOUND OUT THE TRUTH. Sure, people raise kids who aren't theirs, but genetics are a fundamental aspect of most families and it'd be a HUGE bombshell to find out you don't share any with your daughter. Ignoring that fact is just mean and makes the OP feel like an asshole when there is absolutely no justification. edit: AND HE HAS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT?!?!? Talk about adding insult to injury. Commenters who think its no big deal should start a gofundme for the guy and be the first contributer

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

as per usually society doesn't give a shit about mens feelings. I don't think I would be able to go back because to me that kid is now a walking talking sign that says "you are a fucking moron". yeah lots of people do raise kids that aren't theirs, but they know before hand!

[@polidon1577]

Like sure there's adoption, people can parent kids from other parents perfectly fine, the difference is CONSENT. Adoptive parents have effectively given their consent to parent kids that aren't biologically theirs, men like OP haven't.

[@GrandCorsair]

@@asrarsyed2618 and?

[@truemannottingham8458]

@@asrarsyed2618 brutal part is that he never had the choice. No consent like Dustin Ngo was saying

[@hothotheat3000]

Dump fiancé and sue. You let this slide, they’ll walk all over you for LIFE.

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

"May I take you out?" = "I'd like to treat you to an outing." There's nothing _wrong_ with a different arrangement (Hell, I always come to dates prepared to pay my way, w. no judgement), but he simply failed to communicate his intentions clearly. "Will you go out with me?" would have been the more appropriate phrasing for what his plans were.

[@TheGenericIndianGirl]

Last story is why DNA tests at birth must be made a legal necessity. And this is coming from a woman. It kills me to see men on hook for kids that aren't his. Many people may say that it's his kid no matter what, but it's instinctual for a man to care for his and only his offsprings. The knowledge that a kid he cared for, isn't his own can do so much damage to a man. It's high time we stop minimizing a man's emotional suffering.

[@helema23]

@Gi Gi there can be an opt out waiver for those that dont want it. that way the damages are mitigated in the end.

[@SendarSlayer]

@Gi Gi Because it stops the cases of people lying about who the father is. If the man knows from the start a decision can be made to raise the kid or fuck off.

[@renoloverxoxo]

@@SendarSlayer ehhh you kind of assume all women know the other dude is the dad.

[@Treveyon2010]

@@renoloverxoxo A woman would know how many partners she had around the time she got pregnant.

[@thepurpleturnip534]

It’s really unfair, men have gone homeless trying to pay child support for a child that isn’t theirs just because the mother decided to put their name on the birth certificate

[@peteranon8455]

1st story: She literally broke your arm. NTA. Also, ditch your Fiancee, or your entire life will just be one big gaslighting, arm breaking thing. 2nd story: NTA, except to yourself. At this point I can't even blame your boyfriend for this. You're either downplaying how much his grandmother is helping you out, overplaying your nursing school as med school, or your boyfriend is mesmerizingly better looking than you. What's really going on here? 3rd story: NAH. Modern dating is a complex thing. I'm not really sure why a dutch date would be at an expensive place... is it really so hard to either cook a meal together or get coffee? 4th story. NTA. She's not your daughter, despite the lies you were told. Anyone who writes you are TAH are just lacking any empathy for your situation.

[@ashbrea381]

In reply to one of the comments on story 4: 13 is NOT too young to understand that, I got adopted by my stepdad at that age because my bio-father was a deadbeat who never really cared to get to know me anyway. Please remember that at 13, a 'kid' is now a teenager going into highschool soon, they are intelligent, and while it might be upsetting, she's old enough to understand that the man she saw as 'dad' is incredibly hurt by being lied to for her entire life. She might get upset and angry and in the moment blame him, but as she grows up she will realize who's fault it really is.

[@claws2129]

Story 4: NTA Finding out that whatever love he had for this kid was based on a lie is traumatizing. To him he's not seeing "his" child, he's seeing the evidence of one of the biggest betrayals of his life. It may not be nice to hear but if the best thing for his mental health is staying away and trying to pick up the pieces of his life then it's his right to do so. The only real asshole here is the cheater and the kid is just caught in the middle.

[@draughtoflethe]

The best thing for his mental health is to leave his daughter with a lifetime of abandonment issues? Because yes, she is his daughter now, even if she wasn't when she came out of the womb.

[@claws2129]

@@draughtoflethe What's he supposed to do, lie like her mother did? Pretend she's not a walking reminder that the person he loved stabbed him in the back? Yeah it's a shitty situation and it sucks for everybody but that's what happens when someone cheats, they ruin lives. If he wants he can put money in a trust fund for the kid the mother can't access but he isn't obligated to have any relationship with her, just like her biological father has chosen not to.

[@rojadita]

@@claws2129 How tf do you just instantly disconnect from a child you’ve raised for 12 years. What a terrible monster.

[@seanlocheed6290]

@@rojadita The only monsters here are the wife and anyone who has a problem with him leaving and not being forced into a loveless marriage with some lying whore and subjecting the child to the trauma of having parents despise eachother because of her. Both the little girl and the father will have much better lives being seperate from one another.

[@renoloverxoxo]

But based on his own words: he maintained a relationship after he found out. He's only not going because her mom went for CS and he's mad about it. That is not Kasey's fault.

[@paulastephenson1862]

Kick him to the curb. He basically stole money from you if he didnt discuss a major purchase with funds from an account to which you both contribute. He is irresponsible and this will never change. You need to move on and date an adult.

[@joimumu]

It even worse that OP realised, he has buy now pay later mentally that will make them poor for the rest of their lives

[@hellznewqueen2216]

Story 4: He consented to rise the child under the belief that the child was biologically his. He DID NOT consent to knowingly rise a child that wasn't biologically his. He didnt know that the child wasnt his and I bet it must hurt him to even look at the child knowing the betrayal and a years of lies. The only asshole here is the mother for lying to both the father and child, this is why I always believe that as soon as the baby is born there should be a mandatory paternity test to prevent something like this happening and cause years of hurt and lies for father and child.

[@renoloverxoxo]

He said he maintained a relationship with Kasey after he found out and ended his relationship with her mom. That's why he's getting called the asshole. He said he would go to the party until mom went after him for CS.

[@eileenmoran235]

Last story. I had a friend who was married to a woman who had a child from a previous marriage (father deceased). They had a child together as well and he was a "father" to his step-son (never adopted him). Well, they divorced, and he would include step-son with his visitation. She sued him for child support for the older boy, which forced him to stop including him in visitation, because it bolstered her case. The man in story three may very likely face the same circumstances, so it is the mother that is TA. He needs to protect his interests, and it is unfortunate the child is caught in the crossfire. Once his case is resolved, he can resume contact. In my friend's case, he gained custody of his son, so he was also able to resume his relationship with his step-son, and the looser was Mom. Both sons see her as little as they can, because she got greedy and impacted their lives negatively. They resent her for it. My friend is a great Dad, involved, loving, supportive. I am so happy he found new happiness and has a loving wife and a new baby boy (and two step-daughters). He considers himself very blessed. BTW, oldest boy went to college on a football scholarship and is doing very well.

[@reptilelover2129]

Last story: Regrettably...NTA. Put your pitch forks down. If you go to that kid's B-day you will be more likely to pay child support. Her child, her problem. Danged if you go, danged if you don't. If it qas explained to me, I would understand that he has to put himself first, but then again, I didn't have much of a childhood and had to grow up fast. The mother is the ultimate AH because while the kid will be hurt, she will be the cause of it. No one said cutting off contact wouldnbe especially easy, but OP needs to think about himself first in this situation. Thats rare for me to think as the child's well being is always in mind but it isn't really the "I want a biological child" yeah that's apse of it but then main issue is that the mother cheated and tricked him into raising another man's child. Thats the bottom line.

[@Estarile]

No, it is So ESH (except for the girl). Like, I'm sorry that his ex is a real piece of work, but men (and it is always men) need to get it through their heads that finding out a kid they've been raising for years isn't biologically theirs, does not absolve them from the responsibilities of parenthood. Its certainly one thing if the kid is like 2 or younger, but she's 13. He's her dad in every way that counts.

[@reptilelover2129]

@@Estarile Easy for you to say. Women can't be tricked into believing they birthed a child. And yes, technically he has no responsibility to a child that isn't his unless he willing chose to raise her. He was tricked into raising a kid that wasn't his and that hurts. Imagine that every time you look at a kid it's a reminder of the motgers infidelity. I do feel bad for the kid but do you kniw why it's always men? Because at the end of the day it's situations like this that make them paranoid. He isn't her father now unless he says so, he's technically a step-father although unwillingly. That kid needs to he sat down somewhere after her to get told what's going on. He either pays for a child he was forced to raise and is reminded about it each time he makes a payment which has risks to his mental health, or he leaves which also has risks to his mental health but he's more likely to get better. Contact with the child also keans contact with the mother hence the mental health part in the first option. I hate to say it, I really do, but OP is better off leaving that toxic situation behind.

[@volfawott7417]

@@Estarile Ok first off as somebody who was abandoned by their mother for reason I won't get into you can rightly shove your it's always men statement where sun doesn't shine. Secondly he's not cutting contact because of the reveal that she is not his biological daughter. He's cutting contact because from mother is illegally trying to lock him into committed financial support. From what from op described he was taking care of her and helping her at his own separate entity. ( one could imagine that anything she needed financially would have been directly given to her and not gone through the mother) however the mother attempted to wrap him in a legal obligation that would bring the money through her. Kasey is the real victim here however I can't willingly say that the OP is in the wrong just trying his best to avoid a messy situation. As for you making close-minded and stupid statements like the one you just did is ridiculous. As cruel as it sounds no it is not his responsibility to looking after the child the fact that even after finding out what he did he was still there for her despite cutting the mother out of his life makes him quite admirable.

[@Jay_S4519]

@Estarile I think you forget it can ONLY be men who get put into this situation. A woman can know for a fact who she was sleeping with. A man can’t know for a fact who the woman was sleeping with. A woman can easily LIE about the man being the only one she slept with and the man just has to trust she’s telling the truth. So tell me what can a man do to prevent this type of situation other than to never trust their partners and if men do have to never trust their partners then how can you expect a relationship like that to last?

[@kacielawrence]

Story 1: NTA. OP needs to sue his fiance's sister, get paid, and then dump the fiance

[@merrillsmith6672]

Definitely sue the sister and split up with the fiance

[@Unknown-mi4ih]

Yes

[@chaseashley6775]

11:28 Gentrification is when the character of poor areas are changed when wealthier people move to it and improve housing and attract more businesses. It usually takes the quiet and quaint atmosphere and modernizes/urbanizes it. Gentrification is especially an issue when cost of living goes up thanks to new houses and businesses, casing the people who originally lived there to have to move out. I learned about gentrification from my Human Geography class and South Park.

[@annvictor9627]

One of the problems for the original inhabitants of an area being gentrified is if they are persons of color and the gentrifiers are white. The white newbies have been known to bring down the police on the POC already living there.

[@annvictor9627]

"She didn't mean it" doesn't work for damaging a $12,000 prosthesis! Ditch the the fiancèe!

[@PelegdolevWackyycool]

I mean story 4, nta. If he does like the child so much, and he’s cutting contact then there must be soooo much shit the mom has done. And u know, if the bad outweighs so much gud I wouldn’t want to be near the mom either

[@Deinzu]

Okay, I'm confused on the last story, who the hell gave that person gold

[@lorenzorossi9093]

Feminists?

[@renoloverxoxo]

Idk I don't understand how you can just bail on a kid you raised for so long. He promised her he would be there and isn't going.

[@galacticmoon325]

Man story 1 hits home. I’m an amputee myself and if my leg got broken to the point where I couldn’t walk on it properly anymore, I’d be PISSED!! OP needs to get compensation and FAST...

[@RWorley3sl]

Good news, your not legally married. As I told my sister its not we, its you. Until you sign legal marriage papers, not even a ring and I do count without the paper.

[@_Sage967_]

story 4: why does everyone always want to ignore OP and only focus on the kids EVERY TIME. here is a reality check, OP hasn't solved ANY of his problems with his ex so having such a volatile relationship around this kid is WORSE than him not being there. OP can't even get full custody and basically remove the ex from the equation because she isn't a scumbag child-beater so it's all but impossible. OP is NTA and the fact that people want him to just forget about his own well being despite the negative repercussions that may have on both him and Kasey is ridiculous

[@renoloverxoxo]

He said he maintained a relationship with her after the breakup and only didn't want to go to the party because he is angry with her mom.

[@_Sage967_]

@@renoloverxoxo so you're saying you want him to start shit at the party, or look like a lemon whenever ex is in the room? cus I think that'd be worse than not going.

[@fatcatlol_4820]

Remove "prosthetic" and then people will freak out.

[@jameson1239]

Absolutely

[@andronikoswendsofchange1151]

Story 1: Cancel the wedding, leave the fiancee, sue the sister. You're getting a glimpse of how your marriage is going to be like in the future if you marry this person and it will be a bleak future indeed. Story 2: Stick with your ultimatum, though you may have to divorce unfortunately (especially since you talk with him frequently, he says he will change, but doesn't). You probably shouldn't have married the guy in the first place, as I bet these same habits were there before marriage. If you still want to stay with him though, stick with the ultimatum. Maybe even get separate bank accounts so he isn't spending your money anymore. After the edit: Sounds like she is going in the right direction. Keep it up. Although I'm skeptical whether counseling is going to change much. Story 3: It's the guy's fault for not making it clear from the get go that he is not paying for the whole date. Story 4: This one is tough. We need more information about how involved he was in this girl's life. Is this guy the closest thing she has to a father figure? Is the biological father in the picture? I understand that things can get soured by the mother trying to force child support out of him since the girl isn't his daughter. It would be very tempting to walk away, as this guy played a part in this girl's life when he didn't have to (his partner got pregnant through cheating on him), and his thanks for it is forced child support. If you want to see the mother as little as possible, maybe skip the birthday party, but take her out to do something without the mother. And just do one-on-one activities with her without the mother around. As for the commenter who thought the guy was entirely at fault, this is one of those rare instances where you can throw the age-old argument back in their face by saying "You have no idea what it's like to be the man in this situation." You have no idea what it's like to be a man and find out quite suddenly a child you thought was yours was actually another man's through infidelity. The "you raised the child, so that child's yours" argument should stay in fantasy land where it belongs.

[@TheHelper151]

For the last story, not his sperm, not his concern. Period... Doesn't matter... He should sue the mother for emotional distress and fraud.

[@AndyPrimeOne]

Story 4: You are the victim of paternity fraud, and are about to be the victim a 2nd time by the government. You anger is understandable. This is not his fault, it is the moms fault.

[@renoloverxoxo]

But he promised Kasey he would be there.

[@Treveyon2010]

@@renoloverxoxo Tell that to the mother. She's going out of her way to hurt OP as much as she can.

[@amywilson9591]

If you’re that up against it and desperately trying to save to better your situation; I don’t care what makes you happy. That’s a huge purchase to make and to be enabled to do it. You know what makes me happy? Being able to buy food and necessities and still being okay to have extra

[@Fluffonmypants]

I feel awful for the OP whose prosthetic arm is busted. I can't imagine suddenly having a mobility/accessibility device broken. His fiancee is super insensitive and doesn't seem to understand that his ability to physically cope is severely limited now. I really hope his situation gets resolved and he's able to get a new arm. It's outrageous how much something like that costs. Best to you, your dad, and family Mark. Sorry to hear he's been in and out of hospital for the past few days. Good luck with going part-time soon!

[@ashbrea381]

Story 3, I'm gonna say that if someone is INSISTING that they want to take someone on a date, then that person who asked should pay.

[@renoloverxoxo]

Yep. "Can I take you out" means I'll pay.

[@taldair7897]

Look at it from the side of the man, he has to make the first move 90% of the time it is very rare for a girl to ask a guy out so does that mean he has to pay for 90/100 dates? Because 99% of the women expect him to pay no matter the wording he uses. It is very backwards thinking and sexist to say that someone is Insisting to get to know you they should pay, because he truly could be interested in getting to know you better. To be honest you should always think that when someone asks you out that you will have to pay unless someone offers before hand unless someone says "I will pay for the date" when inviting you but double standards do exist. But that being said no one sucks because she is totally in the right to say no because she can not afford it.

[@xevira]

@@taldair7897 Exactly, the *DEFAULT* position is that you pay for your own shit unless otherwise stated, such as "Want to go see a movie together? My treat". Believing that the asker must pay implies that the askee's time is more valuable than the asker's, which is *never* the case. If you believe your time is more valuable than the person asking you out, you can just say "No.". Case of the story: NTA for declining for lack of funds... YTA for declining because you *EXPECT* him to pay.

[@alijones743]

Even if you put the initial confusion down to miscommunication, this doesn't make much sense. If he's really that keen why not ask her to suggest somewhere within budget or arrange to meet for a picnic!

[@oiwhathefuck]

​@@xeviranah. If you want to take someone out and you're interested in them when they're not that into you, you can't expect them to come out, spend their time and get effort and then ALSO pay. That's stupid. If you are dating each other it's ok. If not nope

[@indianspartan76]

I get your point, but the mother is coming after him for child support. You gotta do what's right for your wallet

[@poke-talia268]

The OP for that story was still willing to be in the child's life and likely help with things she needed (winter coats, school supplies, whatever) even while being split up from the mom. When she asked for child support from the non-biological father after he was still willing to be in the child's life and help out, that's when it crossed a line. My parents are divorced, I understand how expensive CS can be. Also, the kid probably understands the situation a lot better than people give her credit for. Children tend to catch on pretty quickly when they're being weaponized against either parent.

[@indianspartan76]

@@poke-talia268 interesting. I'm not a child of divorce so I wouldn't know. But I have seen abusive relationships. Those I understand

[@poke-talia268]

@@indianspartan76 Either way, the situation in the Reddit post definitely seems a bit toxic.

[@stephaniest.5336]

NTA for story 1. Kick the enabling "fiancé" out and break off the engagement and sue the sister to the ground!

[@spacetofu5306]

First story: NTA, OP needs to lawyer up and make sure he financially drains the sister. Prosthetics are insanely expensive and difficult to make, especially with arm prosthetics so OP is better off with suing the sister and if anyone throws a fit. OP better be ready to throw his fiancee under the bus because prosthetics are limbs and they are difficult to replace.

[@KateTheCrimsonwolf]

Sue them BOTH, goodness drop the fiance! If she did this with her sister imagine what she'd do if they had kids! She's gonna be a doormat to anyone and everyone, sil knew this and used her sister as a powercard!

[@Gr33nP1x13]

Story 1: ditch the fiancee & sue her sister. HUGE red flag that she's more worried about her sister's feelings than your ability to keep living life to the fullest. Seriously, that is not on. NTA Story 2: NTA, hold your ground & get rid of the leech. He'll keep acting like this, since he obviously doesn't want to change & better himself

[@reptilelover2129]

The fact that Mark thought the sister was feeling bad at first proves how negative of an out look I have. 😅

[@lyndellrobinson3611]

I honestly thought the cleaning could be trying to feel helpful, coupled with nervous energy, etc. But once it was supposed to be addressed and she continued, I didn't even need to hear about the prosthesis to figure out this was going down the toxic tubes quick. OP has a fiance problem more so than a sister in-law problem.

[@GiratinaofFury]

Story 1 - NTA, the prosthetic limb is prohibitively expensive, and the OP needs it to get by in life. It's not just the sister being rough that's the problem, it's that she knows she did wrong, but refused to see to you directly, and the fiance doesn't respect your property either. Seriously, if the OP wanted to, they should have tasked both of them to do their daily tasks with one arm tied behind their back, just to see how significant it is for something like this to be broken. Story 2 - NTA, the husband doesn't respect boundaries, and neither does the family. The OP was right to request it back, because it was an abuse of trust, and the two are right to see counselling, because it's better that it's something like this right now, rather than an unexpected expenditure eating into something like the rent or the deposit on a flat. Story 3 - NTA, the gentleman should have worded it better. Story 4 - NTA, the OP isn't the biological father, and whilst he has tried to make it work with the mother for the sake of the daughter, nothing ruins an event more than people going to it on sufferance, rather than wanting to be there. By all means, send a card, wish them the best, and try to save face, because this is still someone who saw the OP as a father figure, biological or not. But there is clearly something psychological here that needs to be addressed, maybe as a family unit, maybe just father and daughter, because one doesn't become so dispassionate about someone they had such an active role with for so long out of nowhere.

[@waltdoherty540]

Med Student: wanting to take steps to save the marriage is admirable; however, she should be prepared for this to fail.

[@JSainte17]

She cheated, lied and said the kid was yours for years, you found out, left, STILL kept contact with the kid because you're a good dude and care about the girl (who isn't at fault) and then she wants child support from you!? "Hey, can you pay for this kid I had while I was cheating on you? Thanks!" I think you should go to the party for the kid, try to stay in her life if you want to, or eventually (and slowly over time) you may want to distance yourself. Otherwise, one day her mom will have someone new, kick you to the curb and refuse to allow visits (unless she gets your child support and can't stop you) and probably tell the kid you blew her off.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The fiance's sister breaks the prosthetic arm and calls the fiance to back him off. Sue the sister and rethink the marriage. OP's fiancé does not have his best interests are heart.

[@nijarieves9383]

Its never to late for a waffle breakfast. Never skip the waffle 😎

[@saifallarakia692]

It’s 8 pm is it late

[@nijarieves9383]

@@saifallarakia692 Waffles for dinner are just as delicious!

[@ProxiProtogen]

@@saifallarakia692 nope

[@katrose5572]

@@nijarieves9383 I agree they are very tasty for dinner

[@ashmikray]

Waffles are good when ever

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

1st story NTA he needs to sue her sis and tell the "fiancée" if she can't understand why then she can go too big red flag she ain't never going to stand up for him.

[@mamadragon2581]

First story: Sue the sister and kick the fiancee to the curb. If she doesn't have your back on this, she will never have your back on anything. Second story: Get your finances separate ASAP and RUN. He will not change. This is exactly what a relative of mine has dealt with for *years*. She made the money and he spent it--often faster than she could make it. (He didn't work.) If something caught his eye, he bought it whether they needed it or not and hang the expense or the Grand Canyon-sized hole their finances were in. His drug was spending money.

[@KingKeanuTheFirst]

Honestly, as a gamer myself story 2 just hurts, why would you put games above better your financial situation it really get to me when some people cannot prioritise these things properly.

[@deedoodeedoo6382]

It would have been a wise choice if he sold it immediately. Scalping for private gain on a single unit, but to buy it to just play is ridiculous in bad financial situation

[@Kayu010]

Story 1: she may not have ment to damage but she did in fact damage it, NTA for sure Story 3: idk I alway bring money in case and never expect people to pay for me

[@15oClock]

1. Not the first time she's damaged OP's property, but definitely the worst. That's their arm; how anyone expect them to just get over that? 2. Sure, he's buying thing that makes him happy, but that's what addicts do. OP's trying to get back on her feet and unrestrained addicts just go deeper. 3. Poor financial communication is reason enough to not go out someone, but I'm get some other red flags from this guy. Maybe it's nothing, but we'll see. 4. Kasey has been done no favors by her parents. OP might think this is the path of least resistance, but the girl he raise for twelve years is the one who hurts the most.

[@veebee7426]

Story 1 pisses me off!! If anyone were to damage my sons prosthetic eye ($4,000 about $2000 out of pocket after insurance) I would seriously pop da faq off! OP really kept it together because I wouldn’t!!

[@NuRaLoQi]

Story 4: So he gets to pay child support for a child that isn't his. This is why DNA testing should be mandatory after birth.

[@hxjjdjd606]

Story 3: I’m pretty mixed on it. As a woman, I was raised to split unless the person INSISTS on paying, and even then I cover like the parking bill or something. I don’t assume I’m going to be paid for, because that’s, in my opinion, a dick move. I take words upfront, unless told otherwise. But it is within her right to not go on the date, no ones obligated to ones time. But setting expectations like that will leave you out to dry.

[@jenmalcom7004]

Get rid of the fiancee, AND her sister, and take them both to court!

[@brandi5126]

1st story: NTA screw the fiancé you need that arm! Sue the sister so you can function properly.

[@bennyd.1862]

The first guy needs to ditch his fiance like a sack of hot potatoes and leave. Who picks their sister who is clearly in the wrong? Did she forget her fiance is disabled? What a clown.

[@StephanieMorelli]

Story 1: I'd bet the fiance is maybe subconsciously with the OP because others might say "oh how brave they both are, him for being amputated, and her, bless her, she's with an amputee." The kind of close-minded nonsense that shouldn't exist now, but unfortunately does.

[@chrisdavies9821]

In the UK a prosthetic arm can be considered under a Home Contents policy. Depending on it's value it would need to be specified personal belonging (for use outside the home). But can be covered for accidental damage. They would be unlikely to replace it but able to pay out the cash value

[@OhHeyItIsNano]

I'll edit this as I go. Story 1: NTA. Sue her. Make sure she pays. The way she reacted when being asked to pay makes me question her. Story 2: NTA. I don't find it to be a good idea to have a Joint account. If I ever get married, I won't suggest a joint account. Story 3: ESH. Communication was iffy. Story 4: ESH except for the Child. He could've Offered a day where it's just the two of them even if it doesn't occurr on the Bday. The Mother sucks as she tries to make him pay for Child support when he's not the Biological father. It really sucks for the Child.

[@KDC256]

It's amazing how the fiancee's sister is using a "She Didn't Mean It" re: younger sister damaging the prosthetic arm while she was doing heaving cleaning in the apartment as some type of magical incantation that immediately makes everything alright again. It's also very pu$$y of the younger sister not to own up to what she had done, in favor of letting her older sister defend her actions. Will the younger sister forever let others fight her battles for her on her behalf? What an adulthood baby sister will have in her future...never ever personally having to deal with her own mistakes and troubles. The enablement is quite strong with that "Wreck It Ralph" sister!!!

[@crem-crem4070]

6:28 I think they mean that in the US a person normally insures a prosthetic because they are often so expensive.

[@martinwalker9386]

Prosthetic, NTA, re-evaluate your relationship with your fiancé as her reactions are major, major red flags.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Unforunately in Story 4, showing an interest in a child that is not yours can be legally equated to taking responsibility for her. Ideally, the biological father should be shouldering the responsibility for child support regardless of whether or not OP happens to be in a better financial situation or more readlily available that the bio dad is. As much as it would have hurt, it would have been better to cut all contact with the child when found out he was not the Daddy, and decided he could not step into the Daddy role. Now the girl is losing a father figure, and while it sucks to be the girl, this is what the legal situation demands. As for the Mom in all this, first she tried paternity fraud, now she is straight up suing because she has a man that shows interest. She is definately the TA. OP, NTA.

[@nejikath]

Story 3: personnally, I would have asked a lot sooner. I have Asperger's and gray areas like these bother me a lot and I would never assume either. For the bill splitting, I would not be offended if I was told in advance. The only exception I can see is if a guy explicitly states before the date that he will pay for me as well, but splits the check when it is time to pay. My boyfriend and I usually cover our own portions of the check, and if one of us pays for the whole meal, the other will pays the next time.

[@asherael]

she's regularly trashing things in your house in the name of "cleaning up" and going in your room? WHAT??? what the fuck?!

[@zachf748]

6:00 What the hell insurance are they talking about? What type of insurance would the sister have that would pay for the prosthetic arm?…

[@josephmath1]

For the first story, I'd give the fiance an ultimatum, ether the sister pays for a replacement, or she solely is the one to work and provide for the house, that he wouldn't be responsible for anything financially ever again.

[@mirror2760]

story 1 : Wow the fact that the fiancée doesn't see anything wrong with what the sister is doing is a major red flag. Does she do that with the rest of her family if so then I'd be reconsidering the marriage. Right now it's just between you and her sister who is clearly in the wrong and she seems ready to die on that hill. What happens when you get in a fight with your in-laws about something like parenting. Is your future wife gonna side with them over you her husband? I'd be seriously reconsidering where you stand in her life. NTA for suing the sister but seriously OP that's a concerning amount of red flags. Story 2 : NTA It's YOUR money don't let him touch it. I do understand that the cultural difference and that OP is used to things being a certain way but I really hope the comments helped open her eyes. Leave him!!!! Story 3 : NTA you shouldn't feel bad about not going out with him. OP doesn't have the money it's not her fault that the dude worded it poorly. I wouldn't want to go out with him either he seems like an a$$. Story 4 : NTA. Imagine finding out that your child isn't yours that's just heartbreaking and trust destroying. I know that the daughter is going through a rough time but why doesn't anyone try to see it from the father's perspective. The girl is also 13 so she should be able to understand why her father might need a break. Should he break off all contact with her? NO. But he deserves a break from everything so that his anger and hurt doesn't boil over. It's better that he spend less time with her while the wound is fresh then spend time with her knowing he'll be depressed the whole time which the daughter will definitely pick up on.

[@jenniferslack-smith5129]

They are trying to get you back with him because : mom needs someone to look after her little boy, grandmom wants free servant, boyfriend wants an ATM. Run.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

If the kid is thirteen then she will know her Mom cheated and lied to the both of you about your being her father. She'll know exactly what kind of a woman.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Going to the birthdau, unfortunatly, would be ammo for the mother to get child support. Not the AH. The mother ruined her own kids life by both cheating, and sueing an innocent man.

[@jackiewepps4694]

I'm visually impaired. We have an elder man come to clean our house for quite a few years at this point. In the beginning, he was incredibly skilled at damaging lamps, and he still sometimes damages decorative pieces. Among other things, a mask my parents bought on their Asia trip before they had children and got married. He is also incredibly skilled at moving stuff around, which is very very very convenient when you come home and can't find the things you need because they have been misplaced. We don't make a fuss about it because my mom is also disabled and can't clean the house, and we know him from many years ago and consider him working for us a help for him too. The major difference is that we asked him to clean while the SIL in story 1 was never asked, from my understanding. OP is 110% in the right to sue and he should leave his fiancée while he is at it. Because she clearly has her priorities and he is not first in a situation where he clearly should be. For me, one thing is for sure. When I move to my own place, I will never alllow anyone other than me to clean it. That way, nothing is ever misplaced and the only one I can blame for any damages is myself.

[@shannondalshaug686]

The entitlement of the two sisters in the first story is absolutely mind boggling! SMH OP definitely NTA

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Hubby is a selfish, entitled man-child who comes from a family who believes women are the property of a husband. Close you shared bank accounts; then tell him to hit the road. He is not going to change and he and his family will expect you to support him for the rest of your life.

[@candypettynettie487]

Sister in story 1 is making sure to damage her sister's relationship. She's single now and having your single sister on your side is easier than being single alone.

[@drasiella]

Story 1: NTA SUE HER FOR EVERY PENNY SHE HAS!!

[@dantoinettem6825]

NO! NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHILDREN THAT AREN'T THEIR OWN!

[@jlastre]

Story 1: People don't usually carry liability insurance. I think the person was commenting on renter's or homeowner's insurance. Usually covers theft and such. I imagine if you have an accident on something expensive and you can do you might want to claim. I used to have renter's but just seemed to be a money sink.

[@MrKeyblademaster1992]

Story 1: ditch the fiance, sue the sister, make her pay for the damage. NTA

[@itjustmemanning8441]

When I've been asked out, I wouldn't expect to pay. But if we've talked about it before and I knew I was going to pay, that would be ok. 😷🧇🧇❤

[@chaseashley6775]

Yesterday I got officially diagnosed with ADHD and I am hopeful for my future now that I can get treated properly🤗

[@mallorymason1402]

Welcome to the club! I hope your diagnosis helps you get through your life a little easier 😊

[@mirandathepandakitty1630]

Glad your now a member, there are no meetings because everyone keeps forgetting XD

[@browniewin4121]

1) Sister needs to pay for the damages, that is not unreasonable, it's something you need to function. NTA. Seems like a family you won't want to become a part of, glad that became evident before you married into it. 2) You do not have a partner, you have a child. Time to get out now, I wouldn't hold my breath for him to grow up. NTA, quit while you are ahead. 3) I think if you ask to take someone out that implies you are treating. He should have stated this upfront and waiting until just days before to say I expect you to pay for yourself. He just lost out on going out with you after pestering you so much to do it. 4) It sounds like you are the only father figure she has even if you aren't related and haven't been there full time. I would hope you could think of her emotional needs and do what you can to continue the relationship. She is innocent of this mess made by her mother and doesn't deserve to suffer.

[@UnnoticedKIN]

Story 1: NTA of course, but I can't get over that the SIL moved around and broke furniture while cleaning! How the hell do you even do that?! Story 2: NTA. Bad spending habits like this is actually what caused my aunt to divorce her husband. There doesn't seem to be any bad blood between them, but my aunt couldn't stay married to him because of how bad he is with money.

[@adog6495]

Fixed the title Aita for sueing my soon to be ex-fiance sister for damaging my prophesis arm

[@silky0439]

I didn't even have to listen to or read the first story to answer this. The sister damaged your prosthesis, she pays for your prosthesis! Plain and simple! If your girlfriend doesn't understand that, I think it's time to re-think that relationship. The only way that is understandable is if she is a child or mentally challenged. Neither was mentioned so I say pay up or girlfriend pays up! Story 2, after having talked to him again and again? I'd be gone. Period. After he spent the money the first time I would have opened a separate personal account under my maiden name. I don't play that I.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

Story 4: NTA. How are people saying that OP is disconnected from the relationship? Look at what he says, feels demotivated with continuing the relationship bc the mother is there, he clearly wants to have the relationship with the kid. And why does he have to think of the kid??? He's been lied to for years and going for CS pushed him over the cliff. Why should he be thinking about how the kid might feel when he's clearly not in a good place and should be putting himself first in this situation. People need to remember that he was putting the child first until this point, clearly forgoing his own wellbeing. Anyone who says that he has any blame in the situation or says he shouldn't "abandon" the child clearly lacks any empathy.

[@JSainte17]

"Let it go."!? It's your fecking arm! Not to mention she broke your frickin' coffee table, too. Why was she even moving furniture when she can't do minor cleaning without breaking crap!? Not to mention her refusing to even speak to you or address what she did!! Throw the whole family out and sue her.

[@KuroAlis]

Story 3: maybe a bit controversial here, but NTA, because I think OP is allowed to cancel the date for any reason. There's a lot of focus in the story and replies on how the proposition was frazed and the payment arrangement, but at the end of the day op could cancel just cuz they decided they didn't want to go out that night and still not be TA imo

[@raeishimura]

Story 1, seriously, sue her! That wench damaged your quality of life. You can't just let that be, it's a $12,000 prosthetic! You can't just let that go. She was rearranging things, breaking things and now it has gone from property to breaking what is literally your limb. Honestly, this tells you everything you need to know about how much she cares about you. You are always going to be second place to her. She is showing you that your needs and feelings don't matter. Reconsider that marriage and sue the sister for a new arm

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

I'd kick both both of them out. He will never put you first. She has damaged to much and doesn't respect you.