MY (fitness) STORY- sport, chaos, heart ache, breaking point

[@pandimebag9876]

I love that her childhood photos still reflect her goofy personality. So wholesome.

[@ishowheat17]

you guys love people after they become famous.

[@thegnome9529]

@@ishowheat17 huh?

[@line7596]

@@ishowheat17 they become famous bc people love them

[@kaykystt190]

@@ishowheat17 como você pode saber se a pessoa é amável ou não, se não a conhecer primeiro? Se ela ficou famosa é porque muitos estão conhecendo-a.

[@jm52995]

She talks and act like a zoomer

[@oldgrizz8720]

I'm 65 years old. I was a fat kid that was picked on all the time. Had trouble with my legs when I was young. I started lifting at 13 years old. It saved my life. I got bigger and stronger and more confident over time. Like you I didn't have a clue what I was doing. We didn't have internet or even gyms...Parents bought me my first 110 lb weight set. I improvised a lot. Then I bought a weight lifting book by Bill Pearl and followed his work out. Over time I found out what worked and what didn't. Eventually I met other weight lifters and powerlifters and started really training. Now that I'm old, I don't lift heavy any more. Mostly functional training with Kettlebells, Dumbbells, Bulgarian Bags, Heavy Clubs and Steel Mace....but I'm still doing it 5-6 days a week. Keep with it Patty, its a wonderful journey with a great many lessons to teach. There are Sooooo many rewards. The best advice I could share is always keep it fun. Love your personality, and the energy you put into your videos. I enjoy watching. Best to you in 2023.

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you, Grizz! thank you for sharing your story and giving your advice 🙏 best to you as well in 2023

[@jameshill8493]

Respect to you OG 🫡

[@CalisthenicsMinimalist]

Thanks Grizz I like your keep it fun mentality! Also your post helped me feel okay to post too

[@ClownAl3n]

You are the inspiration. Thanks for sharing your story. Glad we all chose to dance with the fitness journey 💪😍

[@warmlavender5525]

Trying to get like you Grizz.

[@unsigned1nt]

I’m convinced the thigh gap trend ruined so many people, including myself. Much love to you Patty 💕 thank you for sharing your story

[@marc-andrerenaud1394]

Right? Healthy legs don't have a gap... unless you're genetically gifted with very wide hips. The key to being happy and healthy is to compare yourself to how far you've come, rather than other people.

[@xXPlumpkinXx]

First time Im hearing of this mysterious expectation.

[@BobbyBundlez]

i've literally never ever ever met a dude who likes a thigh gap. ever that was a fucking weird ass thing girls made up for no reason except to fuck themselves mentally lol

[@99Gara99]

In my country the thigh gap is considered weird, ugly

[@svenbengtsson9753]

I still feel that deep rooted happiness when i notice a thigh gap on me even now, its fd up

[@Wakenbaketv]

I was a body builder and athlete from age 15-22. I then got pregnant, got scared to lift the way I used to and started to get lazy, I stopped completely. I developed an eating disorder much like you, and I also developed a drug problem for about 10 years. It was bad. I lost all of my muscle, you could see outlines on my body like you could tell I used to be fit, but I became skinny flab. I am now going on year 5 of being clean and sober, I’m 31 years old now, and I picked up lifting again 3 weeks ago, and I’ve literally never felt better. I feel like I have even more discipline than I ever did when I was at my body goals back in the day. In the process of finding the perfect workouts for me I found you on KZbin shorts, and something about you really pulled me in. I immediately subscribed and watched this video. You’re like… a huge inspiration to me and I appreciate all of your content. It’s been very beneficial and helpful, very motivational. Thank you! I hope to resculpt and look better than I ever have. I have a goal of getting my booty and abs back by July. I can’t wait to see what happens!

[@username3723]

This made me tear up. I‘m so happy for you!

[@Wakenbaketv]

@@username3723 thank you so much! It’s going on 6 months of me lifting 6 days a week, I’m healthier than ever and I transformed myself. It’s incredible what lifting has done for me. I’m never going to stop 🥰

[@bikerfirefarter7280]

How is it going? ATB.

[@Wakenbaketv]

@@bikerfirefarter7280 it’s going so well. I’m in my 7th month of lifting 6 days a week one rest day. I sometimes will do a couple days off now that I’m really happy with my body, just trying to experiment and see what will make me recover and grow quicker you know? I still watch lean beef patty and she is still my biggest inspiration! It’s changed my life in alot of different ways but aside from my self esteem and confidence it’s made me very consistently happy. I’ve always been a fairly depressed person.

[@GlazedTogedemaru]

​@@Wakenbaketv update?

[@huntershaw8263]

- childhood athlete - eating disorder - enlightenment I didn't even realize this was my arc until now 😂 classic

[@bl-vx2yi]

oh shit...same

[@Username-f5p]

It’s called being a teen girl 😂😂😢😢

[@justnotokay]

No it isnt

[@Username-f5p]

@@justnotokayjustnotokay you’re still a teen

[@cheeksweeper9678]

@@justnotokay its very common tbh😭

[@sktng62]

My daughter is 13 and has a similar gymnastics/thigh gap/eating issue story... to the point where she hated her body and thought she was ugly despite looking rdiculously athletic... im going to show her this video in the morning so she can be proud of herself and see shes not alone! thank you for sharing!

[@tiagosillaspereira8590]

How did it go with your daughter man? Hope it went well

[@Chris-adams-rc-journey]

I wanna know too.

[@Annbragg_IBTC]

Update, please?

[@srijaniroychowdhury7683]

I just wanna say you're a great parent

[@destructionman1]

@@tiagosillaspereira8590 She died.

[@ezrawang6641]

When I was in first grade, this boy would flex in front of me everyday. I was determined to make my muscles bigger somehow. Being a kid, I had no idea how to do that. So I asked him how and he showed me how to do push-ups, pull ups, and sit ups. So I did those everyday after school and improvised by using our tree for pull-ups. After a while I stopped, but then puberty and severe depression hit me. I went to several mental health facilities for self-harm and learned about coping skills. I remembered how much I enjoyed exercise and now I’m back on that grind to get stronger, physically and mentally. 💪🏼

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thats a pretty cool story about the fellow kid teaching you!! im glad you've gained some new coping skills as well as rekindling your love for fitness 🙌

[@joelcowan2568]

The boy everyday: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZoO1Y3qkfNmbgsU

[@mh-qv5tv]

One question, how you got that strenght to do pushups and pullups before puberty and not even knowing how to grow muscles

[@ezrawang6641]

@@mh-qv5tv started with knee push-ups and would practice on the monkey bars for pull-ups. I could only do 1 at first and eventually got to 3 and so on..

[@Littlefinger4E]

amen

[@BillSkinner-z7q]

Aside from your silly personality, which I love, you are a great role model for us all. I just lost my wife of 50yrs and lifting has been a great help to me. being near 70yrs old I feel the way most of your videos are a good example of how things are done as well as what muscles are getting used. Please keep up the great work you are fun to watch on days I'm not coping well.

[@DebRoo11]

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing well

[@roenna.a]

I moved to a different country and left all my family behind and got super depressed, couldn’t leave bed for around 2 years and became a real chonkadonk. I was scrolling through youtube shorts one day and came across Patty’s “bro, just tolerate it” tiktok. My mind was blown, I thought Patty looked amazing and from that moment I quickly felt an overwhelming desire to get healthy and get myself to a gym. I looked up some different beginner programs and eventually I built up the confidence to start actually entering the gym. Although it’s only been 2 months of consistently eating better and working out I am so much happier and I’m so extremely grateful that I came across Patty’s videos 🥰

[@theleanbeefpatty]

sounds like you've found some new habits you genuinely enjoy and thats the best way to go about it!!! 🙌🙌 also thank you 💕

[@Cate-lystFitness]

This made my day, Alice! Your demon arc be gold!

[@mellonhead9568]

@@theleanbeefpatty your body is a wonderland ✨

[@janpolak5852]

Chonkadonk really got me good

[@texaswunderkind]

My daughter is 13 now and it is such a tough time. I just try to support her, but there is so much pressure and self-doubt at that age. It is so hard watching her go from a happy-go-lucky elementary schooler to a miserable teen.

[@cori4evans]

Awh...i was that way. My mom is still my number one fan. Keep being there for here ❤️

[@geminix365]

Support her in everything and she will find the right path 👌🏻

[@nahimgood4]

My biggest advice is to just listen and pay attention to her. Observe how she’s feeling and acting then act accordingly. But most importantly, listen to what she’s telling you and try your best to be encouraging. It’s a hard time for both of you, good luck ❤

[@josmamatotaldrama]

A lot of that is hormones too, the best you can do for her is to be there for her and be understanding. Do what you can to make her feel loved and accepted

[@DonkChlonk]

I was that way too. 🥲 My mom was always so supportive and loving and was so affirming in my looks, personality, and my abilities (she was also realistic too and kept me in check). When I was at my worst, I would sometimes take it out on her but we got through it together. I’m so thankful for my mom.

[@Darkjoken92]

Seriously impressed by your honesty and transparency. Thank you for being brave and telling your whole life story. Sharing things like this takes courage AND confidence. I believe it also contributes to the healing process when you're open and honest. I started lifting and managing my nutrition when I was 18. At one point I most definitely had body dysmorphia. Looking back, I was in INCREDIBLE shape. Everyone else saw it, but I didn't. After about a year of lifting, I ended up tearing my labrum in my left shoulder and having surgery to repair it. LITTLE DID I KNOW that this one simple surgery would CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER. After surgery, I was sent home to recover with a cryo-cuff and a METRIC SHIT TON of prescription painkillers. It didn't take long for me to realize how much I loved the feeling that hydrocodone gave me. My labrum repair turned into a 9 year struggled with opioid addiction. I lost everything to it, including my physique. BUT I am back in the gym, managing my nutrition, and making gains again. At 30 years old I'm ALMOST in as good of shape as I was when I was 18 and I've been sober for almost 3 years now. So when I say Thank you for your transparency, I want you to know I truly mean it, and that I also truly mean it when I say you inspire me to be a better version of myself.

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you! it took me a looooong time. much of it just being from being embarrassed (or still in my disorder) but once i started being more open, i realized alot of people can relate and that helps us create some sort of connection which is pretty cool. your story is incredible! addiction is no joke and still so many people dont realize how easy the slip can be from presciption to addiction. congrats on the 3years of sobriety! thats a huge accomplishment (and congrats on the come up back with your physique💪💪)

[@Darkjoken92]

@@theleanbeefpatty Oh and bro, you definitely are a special butterfly. FLAP THEM WINGS GIRRRL

[@lauragriffithsoutdoors]

This was so relatable, I wasn't a child athlete but super sporty, I remember sitting in gym class on the mats and comparing thigh gap with my friends, I never heard of it until then but it stuck with me. I was convinced I should lose weight and exercise for looks and all it did was ruin my energy levels and mental health. It made me so ill I couldn't go to running club but had no family intervention like you did so just muddled through. Uni was the absolute breaking point for body and mind derailed. When I met my now husband I got into mountain biking and learned about nutrition and performance, I've made a ton of mistakes at the start much like yourself but it takes a lot to sort the wheat from the chaff. Thanks for sharing it's so great we have some truly educated influencers

[@noahblanco6105]

Patty is such a blessing to the fitness community

[@theleanbeefpatty]

💕🙏

[@ezetella5691]

Great stuff But you didn’t explain how you got so many followers in such a short amount of time. 3million on insta and almost a 1M on hear. How’d you do it Thanks again

[@Simon-d8n]

Relatable story this one. Yea. Yea. Like. You said. Lots to learn too. Yea. I enjoy that part myself. Bit of a nerd. Myself. Won’t. Lie.

[@soerenbo]

@@ezetella5691 Clips of her gained massive viral attention on TikTok and basically were the starter of a whole new "massive fit girl" trend and she managed to build a "brand" around that short term success. Before people like her the female fitness scene was mostly "beauty" and being slim, and she hit a sweet spot with her timing for women also being able to look jacked. It's sort of a typical modern day social media career, a lot of the TikTok-grown influencers started to also do KZbin, Instagram and so on because it pays much better and gains you a new audience to grow.

[@garymarch719]

She's a doll baby too! & fit as hell! I'd love to train with her!

[@Bjorn_SM_03]

I was always the fat outcast kid then the homeless twig with a drug problem. But then I met the love of my life I got my first home and started hitting the gym and she was always there in my corner cheering me on. I was the happiest I’d ever been whenever we where together but as the wise Wade Willson once said “life is like a terrible tv show with only brief commercial breaks of happiness, and this had been the ultimate commercial break, and now back to our regular schedules shitshow”. In September 2022 my beloved fiancé lost her year long battle with cancer and just like that my whole world fell apart I was ready to die… and it is still hard it will never get easier but I am back to the gym and when I get down I feel her cheering me on from above. I’ve made so much progress and I’m just getting started my life’s purpose is now to win mr Olympia one day in honor of Izzy’s memory if it’s the last thing I do idc. -sorry for the trauma dump y’all but that’s my story Stay Strong 💪🏼 Stay Pretty 🤩 Stay Resilient😈 I love you Izzy ❤️🌻

[@cito2820]

damn bro... stay strong. you got this.

[@GradyHendrix-pf3vx]

Don’t stop. Do it for her, yourself, and all the people who love you (and do it for us🥹) and remember, everyday you’re one step closer to your goal.

[@hihowru342]

No need for apologies my friend it’s ok sometimes we all need to talk about something on our minds. I’m sure your love is smiling down on you now seeing how great you are man you got it :)

[@insolent_child9824]

Bro Im really sorry for your loss. Keep grinding my g

[@anthrobug]

Yo, you are not alone - Stay strong, and when you can, try to enjoy the moment because you are earning it. She is cheering you on but not just at the gym brother. You got this!

[@melissaknive3494]

Fine boned new weightlifter here from Canada (I found you when you collaborated with Wil Tennyson). I have autoimmune, nerve, and mental health issues so I’m working out as frequently as I’m able while keeping fatigue at bay. Thanks for being you. You are amazing.

[@yojeli]

My story Speedrun: Grew up the fat kid, got made fun of, decided to change, lost 80lbs, developed an ED, gained a lot of weight from binging, forced myself to throw up food after binging, went to therapy, got on meds, started loving myself, gained the most muscle i ever had. I'm still learning and overcoming personal issues regarding my body but I'm so proud of how far I've come.

[@SublimeSun666]

Keep.up.the good work beo

[@FridayDies]

Good for you/ stay strong

[@johnforealdoe8999]

Tl;dr

[@TordenGudenThortgt]

You dropped this. 👑

[@mondaymorning1]

See, didn't take you a 12 minute video and lots of tren to achieve this...life can be so easy.

[@stillvillian]

Thank you for Patty for all the content and inspiration you have given many people (including myself). You are the most genuine influencer I have seen in a long time and while talking about your life may not always be comfortable, the people of this community appreciate it because it’s easier to relate to. Also you’re editing is batshit insane 10/10

[@Jacob-iq9by]

Nigha

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you 🙏🙏 this means alot.. also glad you liked the editing lol i feel like its improving slowly but surely

[@Alexander-cq9tv]

The soundbites mixed with the story completely uninterrupted is comedy gold. Thank you for opening up about your journey.

[@TimAches0113]

My sister whos 24 now was a victim of the thigh gap trend, she was a champion cross country runner and our family naturally have big thighs and tall bodies, I wish I still lived with my family throughout those years instead of packing off to go to university, maybe she could have confided in me more as my mum wasnt good at that kind of talk. Anyway 3 relapses later, shes now in one of the best universities in the world to study her subject and I cannot believe how far she has come! I first saw your mobility video and something about the way you present your workouts, your humour and general self really remind me of the way my sister is. Then I saw this and when the eating disorder part came past, jeez it cut me deep! There isnt many YT workout things I find I can gel with, too fake or artifiicial but I really like that you just keep it real. Big loves from Yorkshire, UK!

[@markn3936]

As a guy, I never found a large thigh cap attractive. Quite the opposite. That one seemed to come out of the blue. Never got a proper explanation of this phenomenon.

[@AzzamAzman-j6p]

​@@markn3936 yeah bro, I don't even like when girls have that, who actually did gave that idea a good thing? Kinda look more unhealthy than healthy to me. Well....i mean like looking at it in a physical perspective tho....

[@franciscojaviersantos9239]

it can be said that you were born for this patty , thank u 4 ur contribution to the fitness community

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you, francisco!

[@shogun_oden23]

honestly ms.beef , daddy noel , and so many other fitness people really moved me into the jim community. i always wanted to feel better about how i look and having these people to watch to sort of motivate me just really pushed me to be better. thank you so much ms.beef

[@Danuxsy]

trying to "fix" your body is not the way though, if you cannot feel good with your body now you're probably never going to feel good.

[@shogun_oden23]

@@Danuxsy yeah i understand but after working out and actually staying consistent at least for me my confidence has gone up and my self image has gotten better imo. im not saying im trying to “fix” anything but more of a confidence thing if that makes sense

[@an18yearoldmongolianguy]

Hampton is also great

[@mommymei]

I just started going on my fitness journey and it’s really hard for me because I have a binge eating disorder. I’m glad to have someone to look up to and someone who I know overcame their own obstacles. It helps knowing that there are people in this world that are not afraid to share their experiences in order to make others like myself feel comfortable. I love u mom, and I won’t stop until I am as great as you:)

[@theleanbeefpatty]

i know the pain of bingeing ...both physical and mental...so you're not alone. there is life beyond it..the path isnt always easy but its worth it! daily battle that get's easier over time. im super glad my stuff helped you feel comfortable 💕 i wish you the best on your journey

[@alexanderabrashev1366]

Mommy

[@MiaKhalifa-mj5xz]

I’m a binge eater too! I always said wouldn’t give up my love of eating but I needed something to coexist that cancelled it out. Now I run marathons and eat the same xD

[@NickHillMakesMusic]

I stumbled upon your channel and dig your practical approach to workouts for dumb, dumb losers who are afraid of the gym but that all being said, your energy and vibe (and humor in you edits) are so endearing. Also, huge props for being so open and candid about this topic.

[@MrPeterStevens]

In a world of shitty influencers/role models for young girls you are a true gem. This is what a strong woman looks like. A lot of girls I teach could gain a great deal from watching this.

[@anaaasteee]

So true

[@tarneliatriptus]

To be honest I just wanted to keep reading all the great life stories shared in this coment section. You Patty and all this great people that follows you makes my heart gratefull and motivated. Thank you guys for being so honest and kind. Hope we all have a great new year growing as persons and as community. I've got back to moving my body last year, as 33yo mom of two little girls and now even them have bright eyes towards dance and muaythai. Following you on TikTok last year was one of the things that reminded me of how much I liked being active and felt that I could have that back, that I deserved that again. And here we are! Together for the next chapters for sure!!! And to keep learning, because there's so much marvelous stuff out there to discover

[@theleanbeefpatty]

everyone is definitely very generous sharing their stories as well and i appreciate that!! you definitely deserve to do things that make you happy! im not a mother but personally i think that would be a great example for your daughters 🙌 seeing their mother take care of herself and doing things that make her feel good 💕 keep up the great work

[@tarneliatriptus]

@@theleanbeefpatty Thanks, Patty! When I started muaythai last september I felt so much guilt for taking time for myself, but I was in desperate need of it emotionlly and physically, so I kept going. Now, my oldest daughter Saphira (4 and a half yo) almost everyday say that she will eat well and get stronger and bigger so she can train with mommy. It bursts my heart with joy, honestly 🥰

[@fordtwendy]

my (22m) 14 year old sister has been struggling with her looks and eating habits and it's been really hard for me as a brother to know what to do in this kind of situation. Your videos really help bridge the gap, I honestly thank you ;)

[@solsthrash2603]

You are a sweet brother for caring and wanting to help her, kudos

[@maanushreesharma4276]

u are a great brother hope your sister is better now❤️

[@Betu655]

It’s just a canon event bro

[@Least_Banging_Headbanger]

​@@Betu655Your Comment Implies He Shouldn't Care Too Much Because It's Something Most Girls Struggle With Nowadays.. I'm Glad Her Brother Is Not Like You

[@AndrewDavis-sj6mb]

My eating is steady, but when I'm around my siblings OH so underwhelming

[@lorenzoreyes4832]

Important to talk to your kids.. ask ..bug them.. tellem you love them, youll help them

[@6thgraderfriends]

Oo when you said you missed school for three months and only one person asked...I felt that in my soul. I was only gone for a whole week and was actually sick, never got an eating disorder, and only one person asked where I went. Not even the teachers asked. I feel like three months is an even bigger deal.

[@rebelmind654]

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to realize we can only go up from there! Your growth has been truly inspiring. 🙏

[@elis8133]

Dear Beef, you were one of my role models when I was in recovery from my ED and developing a better relationship with my body and the gym (2021). You helped me shift the focus from shrinking myself to getting stronger. Now I gained around 20lbs mainly of muscle and feel so much better, stronger, and happier. Hearing your story makes me admire you even more. Abraços do Brasil 🥩

[@3am585]

She cured my erectile disfunction as well

[@LucasBlackShooter]

Thanks for being so open. Best type of influencer. Heart on sleeve, telling the whole story. Warts and all.

[@iamkatiefritz]

Honestly if I didn’t find you on tiktok I don’t think I would’ve truly started caring about my health. For the past 2 years I’ve been off the deep end with addictions to alcohol and smoking, and eating very unhealthy with minimal exercise. I was over depressed and doing nothing about it, around august is when I noticed I need to make a change in my life as my doctors were worried about my health at such a young age. Putting me on medication that my parents didn’t need to take till their 50’s! I quit smoking then and started eating healthy but wasn’t really pushing myself. Then I found you and your content and realized as a female I can push myself in the gym and achieve the dream of be healthy and built. In November i started going to the gym and tracking my food to make sure I’m actually getting protein in my diet because like you, I sucked at eating enough protein. I’m hoping to continue this fitness journey, and revamp my channel to be a video diary of my fitness and over health journey! (Of course I had to start 2023 of with a cold after traveling, but I’ll be back on track once I’m better!). I just want to feel happy in my body again and be able to do the things I used to do to my full capacity. Thank you Patty for being an inspiration for people, but especially women who want to get fit and jacked. Thank you and happy 2023!

[@philfajilago]

Yup!! I don't smoke and I quit drinking alcohol last year April. Going to the gym really helps overall in your life. 😊

[@vin_rouge180]

Go girl 💪🏼 Patty is my inspiration, I also started going to the gym because of her. I just did exercise with my body weight and bottles, I don't know how to count calories yet, what do you recommend me?

[@iamkatiefritz]

@@vin_rouge180 I recommend using the MyFitnessPal because it’s easy to look up different types of foods from restaurants and brands! Plus it gives you an outlook of how much macros you are eating too! Plus the app fluctuations how many calories you should be eating when you add your exercise in the app so it’s not to restricting. Of course be cautious with counting calories because if done in an unhealthy way could lead to problems and a potential ED. In the end, it’s what I use and I love it! OH and you can track how much water you drink too!

[@vin_rouge180]

@@iamkatiefritz Thank you so much for the recommendation!! I'm a beginner with this fitness stuff so I need learn more. Greetings ✌🏼💪🏼

[@iamkatiefritz]

@@vin_rouge180 don’t worry I’m also a beginner but it’s better to start somewhere than not starting at all! Good luck on your journey!

[@julioestebanbenavides2424]

My path in fitness began and continued with the sole purpose of improving my self-esteem, in 2019 I played soccer and they beat me in strength, until I decided that that would change, on the other hand I had low self-esteem accompanied by the thought of "a trained body compensates an unattractive face. Currently I have been training calisthenics for 4 years, with ups and downs, but I keep improving and trying to change my self-perception. Thank you Patty for inspiring me and so many people.

[@krowkovtuber]

her relationship with her dad sounds so healthy and wholesome!

[@kimvanness7191]

My husband, daughter and I are on a fitness journey, and we all enjoy your content. We all have always been overweight and were eating junk all the time. Since last July we have been tracking our calories, getting enough protein in, and working out relentlessly. AND we have all lost 80lbs (him), 50lbs(her), and 40lbs (me) because of this. The last couple of weeks I've been stuck at a certain weight, and I can't seem to get below it. My brain SEES the solid muscle building in my legs and arms and SEES my clothes get baggy and so on...but my brain also just sees the number on the scale not move anymore despite being in a calorie deficit. This video is exactly what I needed to see. Thanks for putting your story out there or I probably would've gone even further into a calorie deficit. Muscle is the goal and not being a super low weight is ok. I need to overcome these thoughts and keep pushing on.

[@christopherdickerson1321]

I struggled with Alcoholism and addiction. I got sober, three years ago and Got myself into the gym. This journey has been amazing and I have seen variety of ups and downs. I love hearing peoples share and seeing their solution to overcoming life problems. Thank you for this awesome video.

[@Sofiasaleem666]

I thought I was alone in being at the peak of my ed whilst being active in the gym, and then entering into a borderline horrific relationship right then 😭 People never really understand how messed up it is that your focus on how you look just completely shifts to a person and it takes a hold on you like nothing else, but yet it can be a blessing in disguise??? Idk 😭 But your story is so inspiring, keep up what you’re doing patty ❤️

[@meganalfajora3991]

Yeah hearing that in this video really opened my eyes. I actually laughed in disbelief. It is definitely messed up that Patty/you had to go through emotional trauma in order to regain power and confidence in yourself. I was also in a toxic relationship and once I got out I felt so refreshed and was ready to devote all my energy back to myself again.

[@englewoodmusic]

...so one day I woke up fat af at 33. So I went to town for 7 months and got down from 222 to 171. Then.. I blew my back out just as the pandemic hit and couldn't get in anywhere soon so I rode out the recovery at my house. It screwed me. Permenant nerve pain. No doctor could help and no pain meds. I am a disabled vet and this made me about lose it. I was drinking and getting fat again. Then it hit me. No one is coming to save me. So now I get up everyday and do the workouts my back and left shoulder allow. Then right to a scorching hot shower for my back so hot it makes my skin so red it's almost purple. It's constant pain, but ya know what? I'm starting to like the fire this injury has put in me. I reminds me that I'm fighting for my life once again, and that puts my mind at peace. Much love and congrats on the well over 1 mill subs 😊

[@patb5266]

Awesome, keep hitting away!

[@saeyoungswilltolive392]

You are one strong mfer respect!!

[@celinaann6206]

You got all my respect! Keep on taking those good decisions and caring for yourself! Our strength starts in our minds 💪🏻❤️

[@cameron4129]

you should look into building up your rotator cuffs. this could help you out with your shoulder pain also focus on your sleeping position. i had shoulder pain also at 33 and these two things helped me a lot.

[@bryanduvall9511]

I know this comment is 10 months old, but I can't help but comment how scary this is. I, as a disabled veteran, pretty much suffered from the same exact issues. Two back surgeries and a left shoulder surgery. Almost at the same time too. I was a healthy 210-220 during most of my time in the service, I was at my peak. Then, after the aforementioned injuries and navigating the pandemic, I quickly jumped up to 242 pounds. The heaviest I ever been. It sent me spiraling down an endless void I never thought I would come back from. However, I am now back in the gym, losing weight and even back to 3 plates on every compound lift. I NEVER thought I would achieve that again. There is hope, just keep grinding and persevering! I hope you are in a better state of mind and health compared to 10 months ago!

[@graycegoodson2674]

thank you for sharing i totally relate, went through a rough time and lost 40lbs in a month… i was at 100 now at 122, working my way back up and getting stronger everyday. i felt so lonely before i found this channel today. you shine bright girl seriously LOVE you and your energy PLEASE KEEP IT UP

[@AlijahandEl]

I have an eating disorder and went to treatment… I recently got into the gym the healthy way in January and this is very inspirational.

[@feral_vlogs]

same here! I've been working on recovery this past year and embracing exercise in a healthy way has been so awesome!!

[@geort45]

Keep on grinding

[@guhijo1]

How are you now? Still hitting the gym? Any positive results you'd like to share with us?

[@madiparks6668]

I consider myself recovered and can say the gym completely shifted the way I think about food and my body, keep up the good work!

[@soppPPp]

That was the best lore that i have heard from an influencer. I admire how strong you are (mentally and physically hahaha). Being able to talk about problems in the past, is not an easy task. When you talked about your teenager days, i couldnt stop thinking about how in these days, teens end up comparing themselves with unrealistic filters. Thank you for the video, and the message!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you 🙏 im not sure how much others really open up (which is fair, not everyone is ready) but id love to hear more from others..helps us connect, i think

[@thewhatevershow1411]

Always scrolled past your tiktoks cuz I just never was a big fan of so called fitness influencers but you bring a great vibe to the table and have a bubbly and entertaining personality. Good stuff

[@theleanbeefpatty]

hahah thats fair.. thank you very much

[@bleepbloop5777]

I just turned 21 this past November and if it wasn’t for you and a handful of other influencers/icons, I wouldn’t be in the shape that I am in at the moment. I lost 35lbs and building a decent aesthetic physique. Thank you for sharing this story I can relate so much to it.

[@2LRanch227]

Thanks! Keeping it simple and real for the uninitiated is such a gift. Many are curious, but feel intimidated, myself included. The gym holds allot of judgement for beginners. I appreciate your no nonsense approach.

[@takeyourmulti]

I know I'm not alone in how much I appreciate you being open, genuine, and staying relatable in your content. Also love that this shows how fitness journeys are long and never really "complete" per se.

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you 🙏🙏for me its pretty much a lifestyle so i guess its really never over as long as im still kickin 💪 (even if it changes back to running or doing yoga or something else).

[@AndyPresto75]

This is your best and most important video yet so thanks for sharing so candidly. I'm a middle-aged dude and been training for over 30 years but still find your experiences inspriational and educational because as you coreectly suggest we never stop learning, unless perhaps due to stupidity and/or ignorance. Also, as someone so young kudos for having such incredible self-awareness and a wicked sense of humour which always makes me smile.

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you, Andy!! greatly appreciated

[@TheDevilWearsRaskol]

Thank god for you. I struggled for years, and it was hard to find influencers/athletes/etc to look to who were honest and relatable. Your information and approach is SO helpful to me I could cry. I admire you so much and I’m grateful I found you

[@skyler2824]

It was crazy listening to your relationship story because that’s what happened to me recently. I finally got out of it and have been going back to the gym and managed to just be happy again! I love your videos because it’s so easy to relate and you’re kind to all of your followers!

[@benjaminhartson3326]

You pair fun and fitness SO well, so naturally, so thanks!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you Benjamin!! 🙏🙏

[@rachaela2889]

I relate so hard to being a child athlete and then losing a bunch of weight during a toxic relationship and then having a break up demon arc. I'm happy we're both in a happier place. Wishing you good things in 2023!

[@AnjaBAMF]

2019 was weird and I too got into a toxic relationship that catapulted me into finally taking my body, health and fitness more seriously after total heartbreak. Coming across your content is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me and honesty has been what I've been looking for to help me in embarking on this journey. Thank you for being you LBP!!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you angelina!! 💕glad you made it out of toxicity! greater things in your future fr💪

[@arcane018]

Everyone is sharing their experiences soo here's mine. I'm 19 (a girl) and still currently improving my overall health. I'm not in any sports when I was a kid, but definitely an athletic type. I want to join in sports at that time (even now), but my family didn't have enough money to afford me joining in sports. I didn't have any eating disorder but I was diagnosed with PCOS and still taking my meds to this day. My current goal this time is to be strong, not just to lose weight to better my condition. It's hard for me, but I'm trying to be better. I don't have enough money to go into the gym so I workout here at home, plus I am busy with my school things and saving for my tuition, etc. You are one of the peeps that inspired me to do workouts and I was really aiming to be muscular too. As the time pass by, I am starting to enjoy and learn more about different workouts. Hope y'all well and wish you guys a goodluck (including me) in your future journey.

[@myallucky3569]

When I was 16 (a year ish after my dad had passed and I had been SAd) I started kinda finding meaning in my life again and started looking at how poorly I was treating my body, and how just bad I felt constantly and I just decided to do something about it since I am almost an adult (something I wasn't sure I'd be one day) and if I wanted to be an adult for a long time I had to take care of myself, my dad had actuality died at 40 from liver failure which I'm sure contributed to the fact that I couldn't handle the thought of not taking care of myself and I just changed my life in basically a day cause I wanted a better future than what my life was leading to at the time.

[@myallucky3569]

You were actually one of the first creators I started watching and taking inspiration from! You've helped me sm along this journey! Though I only started watching your channel recently I've followed your stuff on Instagram for longer than the year I've been going to the gym for

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you for your openness 🙏proud of you for making moves to take control of your life and your health. wishing you the best

[@gonzaga738]

I’m retaking my gym life tomorrow and I’m very positive this time. You’ve helped me getting motivated to become healthier and fitter. Thanks, beef!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

you got it!!

[@fabiancamargo5545]

Feeling lost at some point in life is more common than it seems, but that is why it is so important to keep walking, keep going, trusting yourself and you will end up finding your way. That little push from your dad towards the gym was quite significant and relevant, I think, he did it at the right time :') In the end, I think you've done amazing! :D I mean, you're here, we've met you, you're super powerful and healthy, it's admirable uwu oh, and the days are happier with your videos :3 My fitness story is rather sad and fleeting, I've been skinny all my life, despite the fact that I have loved training since I was 12 years old, I have trained very little time all these years. Now I'm 32, but I hope I can change that very soon, after achieving other personal goals. Thank you for sharing a little more of your life with us :D Good wishes to you, blessings. Oh! and, also, if you read this, where did you find so many memes? XD I love them. Arios! :v

[@mariagallart8190]

A devastating toxic relationship did steer me in the direction of health and well being so hard, I work out, ate, saw friends, monitor my sleep hours and stopped smoking like my life depended on it. I'm in a much happy and chill place now, but luckily a lot of good habits stayed naturally Your physique inspired me to work out a bit extra lately, so thanks for that! All the best to you

[@ivonnelopez8203]

Thanks Patty, I recently discovered you :) I love how silly and playful you are. I’m barely beginning going to the gym. I love watching your videos. Absolute queen!

[@zacharypecora5339]

Wow, that was an amazing story! Thank you for sharing this with all of us! The humility you show here is honestly refreshing to see. Humble and funny and passionate about what she does, that’s our Patty!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you Zachary 🙏🙏🙏

[@PoisonJarl71501]

You ARE a special butterfly. and now you’re a positive influence for us natural lifters and a millionaire 🙌🏻 keep up the hard work my fellow nerd

[@misterguy9002]

Ah, now I see why this ends up on my feed. Well thank you for being so vulnerable and genuine. Much appreciated.

[@hihimonkey]

You're an inspiration, not just in fitness but for your approach to living. Watching your content has made me feel better about where I am in life and the steps needed to make some changes to improve it!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you Matthew! 🙏🙏

[@jaylenecelestine2895]

When I was a developing infant child baby small human. I was extremely neglected :,( nobody ever really taught me that I should care for my body or that I was worth anything. I later had some health condition where half of my muscles decided to not work no good no more. So now I’m watching you! I’m really trying really hard to stay active in my recovery and your videos have helped me sm! I love your being and enthusiasm about fitness. I always needed someone like you in my life, KZbin is such a great platform for finding people you need.

[@BrettMurphynorthps]

My wife and I send you a big hug. We are glad you are doing better and feeling as well as you can

[@metaverseplayer]

You guys are cute ✨

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you Brett!! hope you're well also! hugs to you two too! 🫂

[@mrsms1099]

Patty, you are a strong, resilient & caring individual to share your personal journey. I can appreciate not eating because of inactivity & mindless lack of protein when I do. I'm 59 & have never exercised or been fit, but I've recently lost 150lbs & am eating healthier, walking, going to the gym...& now following you! You're very inspirational & relatable. I enjoy watching your accomplishments & perfect form. My plan is to be able to do exercises as well as you demonstrate! Thanks for the inspiration!

[@_lauraaamartin]

Patty is one of the most honest, inspiring and strong (in every way lol) people on this platform

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you, Laura

[@SPELLWRKS]

You've helped motivate me to grow from 130 lbs to 165 lbs. Love your personality and your physique!

[@lolzu]

​@@WrekkinMYeah, they know. But it doesn't mean you can appreciate a person for what they're showing on the surface

[@rustymetalhead7714]

Awesome video Patty and genuinely very relatable. Since you asked here is my story: I never had an eating disorder but I did grow up with a parent that was battling their own issues with food an weight. Sadly, those problems we`re projected onto me and I grew up thinking I was fat (I wasn`t) and shouldn`t eat bread OR do any physical activity, cause that was for muscles and those are not for women (fml). Anyway, fast forward to 2019, I too was in a friendship with a less than stellar person who treated me like garbage and fell into a pit of depression and anxiety that forced me into therapy. Which was one of the best things I did for myself. During the pandemic, I started doing body weight exercises at the encouragement of my therapist and started counting my calories. I lost 26 lbs (12 kg) and felt amazing, I also started running as well. In October 2020, I joined a gym and kept going ever since. Second best decision of my life!!! Since then, my therapist told me I am doing way better and don`t need to come to therapy anymore, I gained loads of muscle mass and even convinced my partner to join me at the gym! Much love and looking forward to the next video!

[@vin_rouge180]

Wow amazing story, I don't know how to count calories yet, but I'm learning, any advice? and thanks for sharing your story 💪🏼

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you for sharing your story 🙏 i think its so difficult when the traumas of our parents are passed onto us (intentionally or otherwise) because sometimes they genuinely think theyre helping but it leaves us with a lifetime of things to unpack 🙁..and i am sorry about the bad friendship...being treated poorly to the point of being sent to therapy....i know that was rough af..but glad you've found some things to help you!! (the therapy and the exercise).. youre a strong person taking control of your life like that! much love and respect for you

[@rustymetalhead7714]

@@theleanbeefpatty aww shucks, thank you Patty this genuinely means a lot to me! It was rough indeed but to a certain extent I`m glad it happened. Trauma is never our fault but always our responsibility to deal with it, and I`m glad I cared enough about myself to pull myself out of that hole. Thank you for being an awesome role model and inspiration and for just being on this Earth! Much love and respect to you as well >:D

[@Allmighttogon]

New to the channel and this video is an awesome way to get a better understanding on who you are as a person. Very inspiring to be so open and vulnerable and I’m glad to hear that you take responsibility for your own life and actions! Glad to have found this channel

[@gun00b]

This is excellent and I appreciate the openness. I was overweight most of my life, and it took about 26-27 years to finally get better habits and lose 100 lbs. I've still got some room to lose and grow, but folks like you help a lot with keeping the effort. Great vid, pickle butt!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

wow!! that is such a massive accomplishment! and 26-27yrs is not so long considering you most likely helped increase your lifespan (or at the very least improve the quality)! keep up the great work, youre killin it💪🙌🙌

[@keyv5872]

One of the things I am grateful for as a Latina growing up in a Latin community is that in high school we never felt pressured to have a thigh gap or be crazy skinny because our curves were always appreciated by others. However this was a few years ago not sure what it’s like now

[@nairale9127]

it sadly doesnt apply to argentina

[@deboraluz251]

In my case was bad, because I always was veeery skinny, so considered ugly 😥

[@TheTeehee11111]

​​@@deboraluz251Bruh fat or skinny if it's you on your profile pic you're stunning idk how you got that perception of yourself

[@Tu_vi3ja]

En mi caso no. Al parecer actualmente lo delgado está de moda de nuevo, entonces algunas personas (yo incluida) nos sentimos horribles por piernas rellenas. Actualmente las amo, pero amigas mías odian las piernas gordas y se llaman gordas constantemente (lo triste es que no son gordas, tengo miedo de que caigan en un trastorno alimenticio... otra vez)

[@daniellau5859]

Trust me, latinas and curves are still appreciated. Not to mention tacos

[@youtubedroid]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us! The part that really resonated with me was where only one person noticed you were gone. I had an ED in high school and only one person from school said anything. Not even my family said anything. I still think about that too sometimes. Thanks again for sharing. ❤

[@theleanbeefpatty]

mm honeslty im sure other people noticed but its such a touchy and unsettling subject...no one ever really wants to address it.. i am sorry tho.. i know no one saying anything can make us feel like no one cares sometimes. i dont fully know your situatoin but it seems like youre in a better place now! wishing you continued healing

[@kevinbrock6184]

I absolutely love your energy, and personality. You have such a glow. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us!

[@jennboomz]

Hey, Patty! Stumbled upon your channel and so glad I did. I'm 43 so we don't have a lot in common generationally, but I find you super duper inspiring for my own strength journey. I appreciate your silliness, frankness, and genuinely stoked attitude. Keep up the great work, and thanks for the content!

[@Sr.Nebulosa]

Ver a esta mujer contar su historia de como mejoro si cuerpo , mente y alma Me llena de determinación y ganas de mejorar mi cuerpo también

[@mascasa7502]

Appreciate you sharing and staying humble, Patty. Thanks for being an inspiration.

[@craigmooney2630]

I think you nailed it with relatable’ the comment section is so supportive , generous, accepting One of Cbum’s videos introduced me to you and I was actually surprised at how many subscribers followed you till I started to read the comment section, you should be really proud of what you’ve created 💪

[@lowkeymagickal6187]

I know I don't know you personally, but I am more proud of you than you could possibly know sweet thing you are the bomb thank you so much for encouraging the rest of us

[@mkehat1]

i truly believe you are selling yourself short. in this short story there is enough material for 3 life changing lessons people need to hear 1. your battle with eating disorder and getting a positive body image 2. getting through a bad relationship 3. your gym journey, from gym enthusiastic to a pro and the fact that you are able to keep such a positive attitude throug it all is no less than inspiring

[@sunklair]

I laughed so much during this video, but like, nervous, awkward, deeply relatable and heart-wrenching laughter. This actually reminded me of my own story a little, and I've been following you on TikTok since the Jojo Pose + phonk trend...? So knowing that you had a story so similar to my own is kind of comforting, as well as the fact that I'm not the only one who speaks like that about their own story with their ED's. Because, you know, it's my trauma, I already suffered because of it, let me have fun with it now. I honestly feel so inspired whenever I look at your videos. I'm overweight, but now I'm not that worried about it. Furthermore, I feel fine, I can run, I nourish my body, and it's a body, a sack of matter that allows me to feel because it has a nerve-processing-clump at the top of it, I exercise because I genuinely like to! I exercise because I like to be able to do so much stupid shit and feel proud about it. So, thank you for this, for being you and for sharing your story. 💖

[@JustKandyMan1]

It takes a lot to open up like this but it's massively appreciated. For me it started after losing my dad and i gained a lot of weight adn was just very unhappy with myself and life in general, so started excercising and fell in love with pushing myself and always having some goal to chase!

[@sovietNIKOLAI1911]

I was just watching old Patty videos to pump myself for this years gym goals thinking, “man I could use a new video right about now”. The beef gods smile on us all today 😎

[@theleanbeefpatty]

happy new year!💪🙏

[@masonneal1654]

Thank you for explaining the LeanBeefPatty anime arcs. I think we can all relate to not understanding nutrition and the gym, and how it is a learning process that takes time. Wishing 2023 to be everyones best year at becoming their best self physically and mentally. Much love 💜

[@MarceVassago]

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Patty, it's really really really an inspiration for those who are dealing with heavy stuff. You're a lovable person and your videos are exquisite and SUPER funny, I love them :). Cheers from Argentina!

[@theleanbeefpatty]

gracias Juan!! this really means alot 🙏

[@MarceVassago]

@@theleanbeefpatty You're awesome, Patty, you deserve the best in your life. Thank you for existing 🥰

[@lolliisabusdriver.4447]

I just watched this again. Tysomuch for sharing your story. Honest. Open. Informative. You are definitely a special butterfly. 🦋

[@emmavictoria4743]

THANK YOU for not dropping pictures of you in your active ED ❤️❤️❤️ So many people do that as "proof" that they were once dangerously thin. You're fucking awesome for not feeling the need to do that

[@leliuliana]

Goshhh 1:41 you look like a barbie, so frickin' beautiful 😭❤ Hey Patty, thank you so much for being so open, i'm so glad you made it! You're doing amazing! I know i'm just your random fan in the internet but i want you to know that you truly helped me through a really rough and broken part of my life. I can't tell you the details but i started watching your videos on tiktok but ended up getting really motivated to start working out and going to the gym, ngl if i didn't find you on tiktok i don't think i would've truly started caring about my health. I'm so grateful to have you, please don't change and let's continue grow together, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭❤ Also i wanna thank your Dad for taking you to the gym, also your mom, please take care of them too, telling em we love them 😢❤

[@theleanbeefpatty]

thank you Leli!! even tho we dont know each other super well, i still look forward to meeting you here weekly and reading any feedback or commentary you have (youre always very lovely and i greatly appreciate you). im honored to have helped inspire you to take action on your health!! wishing you the best as always 💕💕

[@leliuliana]

@@theleanbeefpatty I LOVE YOU 😭❤

[@ElTiguere98]

Aun quedan muchos capítulos que contar esperamos como comunidad ser parte de ellos, eres unas inspiración a cambiado mi vida totalmente, gracias.

[@vin_rouge180]

💪🏼

[@theleanbeefpatty]

gracias🙏🙏

[@shaunstevens4292]

You are the coolest online personality ever. I could just listen to you talk forever.

[@Liquid_Rigel]

My fitness journey has started and ended maybe a dozen times, and never lasted longer than a month. Hopefully this year will be different, with some more inspiration from wonderful people like yourself!

[@CR4CKH3R]

don’t give up!

[@garethjudd5840]

Father died when I was 8 .Left school in 1985. Went to a stone carving college for 5 years. Joined a gym. Put on 3 stone of muscle. Completed in strongman events with my last when I was 50. Still carving stone.

[@ink2704]

talking about EDs in the bodybuilding community is something I rarely see and seeing you do it is just so brave. I've been struggling with an ED for years now, I used to be a kpop cover dancer, for like 4 years? my objective in gym was to get as small as I could, spending a year barely eating and overtraining made me terribly ill. Nowdays is still a bit hard to eat properly but I'm getting better! there's about 2 or 3 months I started actually recovering and having a better relationship with food, your content always helps

[@theleanbeefpatty]

i think alot of people in bodybuilding get touchy about it because theres an EXTREMELY thin line between a disciplined eating style (needed to succeed within a short time in a specialized sport (bodybuilding)) and an eating disorder...a TON of people have disordered eating and i most definitely developed a full blown ED... the childhood sport to ED path is also sadly very common 🙁 the road to recovery isnt always easy but its definitely worth it!! im glad youve already improved some💕 wishing you continued healing

[@ink2704]

@@theleanbeefpatty I've seen a lot of people with similar paths to yours, being dancers, athletes, fighters, its sad to see it has almost become a culture of "if u don't do this or that you're a failure"... thank you very much 💞 wish the best for you!

[@SamanthaPearson]

Thank you for sharing. The backstory was much appreciated 🙂. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs at the moment, so rejoining my local gym isn't an option right now. But watching your videos has definitely got me wanting to get back in there. For now, I'll be sticking with my running (5k), & Yoga. Both of which I do still enjoy, but I'd really like to start lifting again. When I was younger, I used to buy bodybuilding magazines regularly. Imagining what it would be like to pack on that kind of muscle. Although I never really had the firmest understanding/grip on my training. I think the consistency was there (trained 3 times a week). But instead of keeping my cardio separate from lifting, I was combining the two in each session, which didn't do wonders for my energy levels... I just never cottoned on to that at the time. ..The more I think about it, the more I want to get back in the gym in the new year.

[@BigRedBieker]

Absolutely love that you called it a demon Ark. the past 4 months I've been saying the same exact thing in my head without telling a soul. I didn't think anybody else thought like that. that's freaking awesome!

[@wonderman65]

Arc

[@nicholasbear6260]

Thank you for sharing your story Patty. My story is a bit different. I also grew up a child athlete and kinda chubby but stopped playing sports in middle school because of other personal problems.. gained a TON of weight. Like 100+Lbs. I stayed over 100+Lbs for years until age 20. Around that time I got fed up with being depressed all the time so I decided to see if eating vegetables and exercising would "Cure My Depression".. it didn't. But it did help a lot. It taught me how to be honest with myself and take accountability. Fast forward to a year and a situationship heartbreak later, I'm down 130Lbs. But I didn't like the way I looked because all I did was walk and began to restrict calories beyond what was reasonable. I don't want to give specific numbers but it was low enough that my hair was falling out. So I stopped tracking. The pandemic hits and my mom gets very sick towards the beginning when catching COVID was a bit more serious. She makes it (thankfully) but I put on 20Lbs due to stress. I then struggle to lose those 20lbs for the next year or two. I begin to not care though because I try lifting weights and hire a powerlifting coach. After this, I enter a relationship with a really unstable person. Gain 10Lbs from the depression the relationship gave me and much like mentioned in your video, I didn't have much desire to lift when worrying about someone else's BS. Lose the 10lbs very fastly after the break up and almost going homeless (no food to eat). Finally get a secure housing situation and a decent job so I go back to the gym to get my lifts back up. Immediately sent to the hospital. Cheat meal from Chipotle triggers a gall bladder attack. Had to wait 6 weeks before I could lift anything heavier than a milk jug. I use these 6 weeks to walk more and try to find discipline in my eating again. Discipline to not go too low when I don't see results and discipline to not have anymore cheat meals. Instead create a meal plan to where you don't feel the need to "cheat", know what I mean? 6 weeks hiatus ended last week. I tried to lift light weights but even that hurts my old incision sites. So I texted my bodybuilding friend to teach me how to grow more muscle using even lighter weights and correct form. Yesterday was the first day I ran in a while. Yesterday I also had an upper body workout with no pain. My form probably looked like shit and my weights were laughable but at least I'm not in that hospital bed. I am kinda thankful for it though because now I have an "excuse" to not care what people think and leave my ego at the door since I physically cannot lift too heavy. Learning mind muscle connection is hard when you're used to training for explosiveness though. If you have a favorite exercise for a good chest pump, I would love to hear it. Shoulders take over everything nowadays.

[@NovaPrincess]

Do you have BPD? You need help that the gym can't solve.

[@jammies1431]

Holy shit your entire childhood is exactly like mine. The whole experience of puberty as a young girl was terrifying and confusing. Really turned my life upside down.

[@theleanbeefpatty]

the shift from scrawny little girl to young woman was traumatic ong

[@jammies1431]

@@andrewjennings7306 It was pretty awful. You're still playing in the dirt before you have the ability to recognize that creeps have their eye on you in a very different light. Unfortunately many of us realize this happened long before our bodies began to change. Your body looks nothing like it did before. You look down and nothing looks right. You don't know who you are and now you're in a body you don't recognize. Now you have to wear uncomfortable garments because the world tells you that you need to. They are constricting and leave itchy lines across your torso. None of your clothes fit. You have all of these seriously turned up, confusing emotions and you're shamed for having them. Your PMS is constantly blamed for depression and other conditions that start popping up around that age, even with pediatricians, leaving many girls with explainable, validating, and sometimes treatable disorders to remain undiagnosed. Many girls that are put on birth control to lessen symptoms and/or protect from unwanted pregnancy are not warned that many of them can also cause depression. Then you're told you are going to bleed once a month until menopause. You calculate it- a few days to a week of pain on average, bleeding for days straight. That is basically half of each month of your life where you feel fatigued, run down, heightened emotionally, and in pain and that's IF you fall into what an average woman deals with. You see how much feminine products cost and you calculate that- your head starts spinning. You're consistently worried that you are bleeding through your pants because you haven't gotten a hang of when to expect your period could start. You are very much aware that you can now carry a child which is a very strange thing to wrap your head around. Any pain you experience can be brushed off as normal even if it definitely isn't, but you aren't old enough to represent yourself and have no idea what "normal" is. Many girls have growth spurts before boys which can make us feel like freakish giants when we already want to crawl into ourselves instead of standing out. Not to mention what you see in the media looking nothing like you. Feeling that you want to go back to being little while also having external pressure to look older. We really need to do a better job at bringing up our girls in a world that doesn't demonize them for going through very normal, yet drastic, changes.

[@andrewjennings7306]

@@jammies1431 that's sounds awful, but surely there's some good things there. Being able to carry a child and create life is an amazing thing.

[@jammies1431]

@@andrewjennings7306 Definitely. I'm in the boat that doesn't want kids so it was definitely a slap in the face to go through most of that for no practical purpose. lol I envy you guys.

[@cassidysmiles4659]

Being a teen girl was hell i dont know anyone that didnt have an eating disorder at some point :( super messed up how beauty standards in our society wrecked us like that. But so happy many of us have healed and moved on to a healthier fitness journey. Thanks for sharing your story and truths ❤

[@Fetchthewater]

Your vulnerability and authenticity is awesome and I have so much respect. I was a child athlete and am also in recovery from substance use, which often can couple together with eating disorders. I think your story rings familiar to many, many people that have tracked along similar paths. Thanks for sharing your story and inspiring others.

[@Ibnboulos]

My sis had a similar journey. Glad you showed your brain who's boss.

[@Bubimon]

this is strong shit! I do relate to a lot of it, the eating disorder chapter, the horrible relationship (s), the transformation physically and mentally thru sports... for me it was and is and ever will be JiuJitsu, but I also love many forms of movement. Thank you Patty for the inspiring story!

[@charles200]

Your honesty is appreciated by so many people, you helping alot more people than you realize.