My Friend Brought Meat Products Into Our Vegan Home So I Kicked Her Out r/Relationships

[@Harleyxjokerforever]

First story) Wow that one comment really did a mental double back flip to blame the BF and accuse him of being a abuser.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Yep. He didn't now anything . She's just hot n the pants and not thinking straight.

[@DarkwaveMistress]

Hope they warmed up well before that reach lol

[@veezopolis]

That was an insane comment that is becoming more and more common

[@mashonem]

“I’m not saying it’s Brian’s fault or that he’s an abuser, I’m just VERY heavily implying it”

[@janmots2829]

The mental gymnastics they had to do for that was absolutely mind bending... 🤯

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: keep Brian, dump Jane. A friend who rhink you're weird and stuck up is no loss. S2: just buy your own underwear and hubs can do the laundry more often.

[@itsjustme7487]

I'd be willing to bet that Captain Underwear will pitch a fit about buying "maternity Underwear". My ex hubby did.

[@joyzimmer5705]

She is stuck up if she came to my house it’s what’s here simply because she refuses to care about other peoples diets and people who force their beliefs on others suck

[@1964Puddles]

The underwear story: 6 months before my mother died, my 2 sisters and I surprised her with a week's visit for her birthday. So very glad, as it was the last time any of us saw her (she then had open heart surgery, long difficult recovery, got sepsis and died). But during that visit, we decided to help her organize her walk in clothes closet. She had so much underwear, so SO much underwear, and curiosity compelled us to count them. She had 82 pairs of pantypies. EIGHTY-TWO! We laughed so hard, teased her, and will never forget what a fun and funny time we had with our beloved momma.

[@RealLifeStories99]

RIP. She must have been a joyful lady

[@lorifiedler13]

Buy him more bamboo underwear.

[@lina9535]

That's such a lovely story. RIP *Fearfully glances at the literal bags of socks that I have for some unknown reason.*

[@NuggetNapper]

Story 3: OP: HOW DARE she go on vacation during my birthday! So what if I went on vacation during her birthday last year?

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Jane has been her friend for 20 years but the big difference is Jane wants Brian and Brian is not a vegan. So Jane decided that this boundary needed to be stomped for "Love". I eat meat. That said if one of the requests of my host was not eating meat in their house then I would not eat meat in their house for the stay.

[@CMTHFAF]

Same. Jane was so wrong.

[@WyntheRogue]

Likewise, love me a good burg once in a while but there are many different veggies and vegan dishes that are quite tasty. Not wanting meat cooked in a vegetarian/vegan household isn't an unreasonable boundary.

[@ShowdogTiger]

When I eat meat it can still moo. I don't eat meat if I am visiting vegetarian or vegan friends. Not a big deal.

[@vanzy01]

As soon as these types of people get their new partners they act all brand new to the people around them. Showing off and showing their ass in the process.🙄

[@philwill0123]

What makes me laugh is how if a vegan refuses meat for ethical reasons, it's dismissed by these people, but same people wouldn't eat a pork sandwich or non kosher/halal in the home of a Jewish or Muslim friend.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Wholesome story alert. I was at Walmart earlier on the hair aisle and this white lady approached me. She asked for a recommendation for black color treated hair. She said she thought I'd know. I recommended Cantu to her. At my old job some of the white women said the curl creams worked great for their curls too, so regardless of your race if you have curly hair you might want to try it. I guess I just seem knowledgeable and approachable. Strangers always come up to me for help

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Aw

[@jennilynne1977]

That's nice. I hope you are having a great day/afternoon/night. Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘 to you!

[@dova_lily4484]

I thought Cantu was bad.....at least that's what tiktok says lol.

[@Acetaminophen1000]

@@dova_lily4484 The Cantu conditionner for kids works wonders on my daughter's curly hair

[@toysruskid5074]

Is it hypoallergenic? My curls get wild when the weather does and I have skin allergies.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 2: as a mom of 3 I highly recommend buying maternity underwear. They aren’t much more expensive that regular underwear and they come in handy during the postpartum period.

[@paden1865able]

Post partum, I kept wearing the men's underwear my husband got me when I was pregnant. They came in handy for keeping the sanitary post partum pads in place, and they didn't rub against my c-section incision or catch on the staples.

[@sannahayes832]

@paden1865able exactly what I did for the same reasons.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Don't understand why OP at 8 months pregnant seems surprised that her regular underwear doesn't fit her. She's never heard of maternity underwear?

[@lorifiedler13]

Men's boxer briefs would have been a blessing when I was pregnant. I imagine my husband would have just bought himself more.

[@momshardrockvideos]

Last story: how is this any different. Last year you were away and this year she’s going away. I think there is a lot more going on then you are telling people. Yes, you are the AH.

[@shebakoby]

"bamboo" underwear (or socks, or shirts, or anything made with bamboo) is simply Rayon made of bamboo. Rayon uses a chemistry process to convert raw cellulose into a nice soft fibre. In this case, the cellulose is sourced from macerated bamboo. And it is amazing. I wonder if they have bamboo maternity undies.

[@toysruskid5074]

They have bamboo absorbent period undies.

[@sannahayes832]

I have bamboo sheets. They are wonderful ❤️

[@averycheesypotato]

I have bamboo socks!

[@lina9535]

That's interesting. Is it the same for bamboo pillows? Asking just because I'm chilling with mine atm

[@shebakoby]

@@lina9535 yeah, bamboo cloth is all rayon, that's how they make it into something they can turn into yarn. After all, bamboo is primarily cellulose. It's nothing horrendous, though, it's a very simple process.

[@beanieboogie9526]

Ignoring the details for a moment, if the *homeowner* says to not bring something into their house *you do not bring it and act surprised they get upset*. The friend was rude and acting entitled to think she could step all over the OP's boundaries that are already well established between them just for a guy. That wasn't even bothered by the boundaries himself! He was okay with it and even thought about OP's diet when out shopping! That friend isn't that great of a friend for this. What other boundaries will they step on or over because of 'relationship stress' and 'looking good'?

[@Laioless]

I bet the boundary stomping has something to do with the break up. I definitely wasn't the first time he saw her do that

[@vanzy01]

Starting drama over nothing it ended her relationship. 🤷🏿‍♀️

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

@@vanzy01u talking about Jane?

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I don't get the rule, but it wasn't like they were trying to change anyone else's diet. All she had to do was go out to eat. I eat meat and I like vegan stuff. You don't need to have meat for every meal. I think it was less about the guy and more about her trying to push boundaries with her friend so she could bring meat to the house.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

@@untitled-gv3qpwhich means she’s also using her bf as an excuse to push boundaries too, maybe Brien realized this and that was the real reason why he broke off their relationship

[@littlepeeper9223]

Story 1. Your kitchen, your rules. She knows the rules, so it's no surprise. You must stand your ground.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

Story 1: NTA. I hate people who think that getting a shiny new boyfriend/girlfriend gives them a free pass to be a dick to their friends.

[@angeloliver7613]

Tbh her rules are embarrassing. She can live vegan, but others eat differently and that also be respected. Vegans always expect to be accommodated in other people's homes, but expect carnivore and vegetarians to eat vegan in their house. ESH

[@dragonleheart2137]

Response to a video comment: medical leeches are still used to treat patients in certain situations (even in highly developed countries). I think the original comment of “they don’t use leeches in medicine anymore” was near the end of the video. A fun new weird fact for the day 😊.

[@raptoress6131]

Story 2: OP's husband seems awful. He never does laundry?

[@carolroberts4614]

They seem to be able to communicate, though! Perhaps they trade? My partner doesn't do laundry, but he would if I couldn't. He does all the heavy stuff, because I can't lift.

[@Aliyluv]

Yeah, I thought that was weird...thank god my hubby can cook,clean and wash his own clothes.

[@aikikaname6508]

Yeah that was face palm inducing, especially considering how fiercely he reacted to OP wearing them. If I were her his laundry privileges would be over for a while.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

I never do yard work? Whicha mean? I'm taking laundry over yard work everyday.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@carolroberts4614 This! I don't do laundry, I do other cleaning and trade laundry off for it. I prepare laundry, and also hang it to dry, though. But I'm the same as OP's husband, I like having to do laundry less if possible, so I have more underwear to last me a bit longer.

[@ettinakitten5047]

6:07 That hypothetical is totally different. As a non-vegan, eating a meal that doesn't include meat products doesn't violate my personal beliefs. For a vegan, eating meat does.

[@WadeAlma]

How about forcing people to abide by your beliefs because you think you have the right to decide what they can or cannot eat? People eat meat for their own personal beliefs. Vegans are the worst people.

[@animefallenangel]

The underwear story: My husband and I share his boxers occasionally and he doesn't object; he even once wore my panties as a joke and believe me, there's nothing funnier than watching the man you love try on your undergarments and scream about "where's the rest of it!?" and trying to wrestle bits into modesty. XD

[@justaperson4656]

Your husband sounds fun, and I agree with the "where's the rest" sentiment

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I've started wearing boxers a while ago. I can never go back to the restrictive underwear for women. They're always in your ass, or hurting the bikini line, or falling off ur butt. Ugg. Oh, I also changed to men's skinny jeans instead of female. They look the same but they have actual, usable pockets!

[@animefallenangel]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Same! I haven't bought women's jeans in nearly a decade 😂

[@justanotheruser1414]

*chef's kiss* to this. I once got my partner to wear one of my bras for an evening to give him a taste of what it's like wearing those torture devices. I'm not a small-chested girl and set him up in a proper one, you ladies know the ones I'm talking about, 4-hook closure with broad body band and decent-strength elasticity that only gives minimally and full underwire with sturdy shoulder straps (don't worry, I chose one of the nice, lacey ones that look deceivingly delicate so he could fully embrace "getting in touch with the female experience"). I did adjust everything to fit snugly and the shoulder straps to be the correct length, all he was missing was the decolletage to fill the cups with so it wasn't ill-fitting or anything. However, by the end of 2 hours he threw in the towel and said that if I ever wanted to burn all my bras and never wear one again, he would be all for it and he'd help me stack the bonfire (although I detected a bit of ulterior motive there!). We had a good laugh about the experiment and I love that he (and sadly only a handful of other men) is secure in himself enough not to feel emasculated by simply trying on women's clothing and that he is confident enough to indulge his curiosity :)

[@lina9535]

Now I kinda want your husband to try "hipster panties" 😂 I remember when I used them the first time, I was thinking "what kind of strange amalgamation of panties and boxers are these?" (Legit the most difficult thing to get a pad, even with wings, to stay where you wanted it 😂)

[@momshardrockvideos]

Story2: I, personally, wouldn’t wear someone else’s underwear. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t just buy your own.

[@brittany9747]

The underwear story made me laugh 😆. Being 30 weeks pregnant I get needing comfy undies. But I think my bf would die laughing at me if I wore his boxer briefs. Good thing is, early on I bought some in a size too big, but got lazy and didn't buy more. They fit better now lol. I do steal his sweatpants though.

[@dlpacres4718]

If your bf is built like my hubby, their t-shirts are really comfy, too! I didn't really even need pants/bottoms on if we were lounging at home. Sometimes it just feels good to not have the belt restricted! Especially in the last month or so.

[@brittany9747]

@@dlpacres4718 I take his hoodies lol

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: OP needs to apologize for her entitlement and gift her friend a pack of Bamboo underwear -- stat!

[@ScooterBond1970]

"I didn't skip her birthday, I was just unavailable because I was on away on vacation." And she's not skipping your birthday, she's just unavailable because she'll be away. Second the bamboo underwear peace offering 😁.

[@Gue5762Gue]

@@ScooterBond1970 Its different cos op didnt skip her birthday celebration. She was away during the weekend of the birthday date. Now that could be because op couldn't be there that it was a month later, or it was just planned that way. That I wanted more information on to make my judgment.

[@ruthclothier7320]

In the early years of our relationship (about to celebrate our 30th anniversary) I would sometimes wear my husbands t-shirts. We still have the occasional laugh together when we remember the day he had a light-hearted rant about me "leaving bumps" in all his favourite clothes.

[@pearbear6418]

Story 1: "People eat meat, get over it." And some people don't eat meat. Get over it. Jane decided to throw away her relationship and damage her friendship because she wanted to be weird about someone else's eating habits that rarely effect her.

[@dandotvid]

But OP was also doing the exact same thing. While it is their house and they can set whatever rules they like, they're kinda' being a dick about forcing their dietary choices on others if they're hosting them for more than just one meal. Granted, if Jane wanted to eat meat with her SO, they could have just gone somewhere instead of bringing the stuff home, but still. It just seems like they were both being stubborn about it.

[@megaman37456]

@@dandotvid Yeah I'm gonna go with an ESH. Jane for knowingly stepping over boundaries, and OP for being as stubborn as a mule.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

I dunno, I think Jane is still the sole A-hole, she didn’t even ask op if it’s okay. She just did it! + Jane knew op’s rule for years, it’s not like op suddenly sprung this on her

[@zerofate9669]

Jane pretty much nuked her relationship with Brian by not being respectful of op rules and boundaries. Brian seems like a great guy who obviously respects people and their choices so there was no reason for her to do this. He never had a problem with vegans or vegan meals since he still enjoyed it from start to finish. He even went as far to talk to op like a mature adult to talk about the situation and talk to Jane how she overstepped and lied about it being ok to cook beef in op home. Jane saying 'people eat meat, get over it' is the same as people also don't eat meat. Not everyone in the world eat, do, act, talk the same way as everything else in the world. This was probably the one chance she got to make their relationship better and heal but she fked it up and blamed op when the sole blame is on her entirely. Op a friend would respect your choices, rules, boundaries. I say take some time off her and let her realize she messed up.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

@@dandotvidop isn’t forcing her dietary choice on her friend since she only wants no meat in *her* house. She’s not forcing a choice on her friend, she’s setting a boundary for her personal + private space

[@luke_at_my_art]

I don't get the YTA comment. Yes, hosts should accommodate the guests IF there's actual dietary restrictions needed to be aware of, but guests should listen and respect boundaries in their host's home. No meat means NO MEAT

[@carolroberts4614]

Exactly! Nobody's going to die through missing meat for the odd meal or two!

[@hm5468]

Yeah… Idk. That one commentor made a good point, it would be preposterous if the situations were reversed and the vegan was expected to eat meat only in her friend’s house.

[@luke_at_my_art]

@@hm5468 here's the thing, people who eat meat still have the digestive ability and have the tolerance to not eat meat so carrots, tofu, salads and other vegan options won't kill them unless they're allergic Vegan and other non meat eaters, dependong how long they go without eating meat, their body can literally no longer handle animal products. And their taste and sense of smell can cause strong reactions of disgust. It's a restrictive diet compared to eating animal products. It's not a situation that can be reversed. Not everything can be a reversible situation and this is one of them

[@srwater1]

@Luke at my Art that's inaccurate. They can eat meat and usually do it after 5 years of no meat. They just have to start off slow. People usually start with fish and chicken.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

I saw that and I think they just really hate vegans

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: Wow, Jane waved a huge marinara flag for Brian and he took it for the warning it was and got the heck out. Jane is super lucky OP didn't dump her as a friend too. She crossed a boundary and doubled down hard then called her supposed best friend an AH and stuck up for maintaining her boundary. Also that one commenter who said she was the AH is so off base.= I have a feeling if someone told OP that the host wouldn't make a non vegan dish b/c they don't believe in it, OP would either choose not to attend or eat before arriving. Guests aren't entitled to having their every want, whim and preference catered to. The host doesn't turn into an indentured servant when guests arrive ffs. That commenter sounds like they would be an ungrateful and rude guest.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

OMG. In the last trimester of each of my pregnancies, I would wear my husband's boxer shorts. He never mind one bit.

[@kristybrown4146]

Story 2 made me laugh. Men's boxers are awesome. I work in a factory that is not temperature controlled. In the height of summer temps can easily reach 90+ degrees for 12 hour shifts. I have half a dozen pair of men's boxer briefs that I wear to prevent chafing as they cover more than even the women's equivalent as well as moisture control for the sweating and are extremely comfortable.

[@juresichj]

The commenter who made the argument that good hosts accomodate their guests is living in the 1950's. My mom believed this. She had COPD with asthma, and still allowed people to smoke in her home. After parties, she would often end up hospitalized for breathing issues. Eventually, she started having mini strokes, which led to dementia, which led to her being in a nursing home in April 2020, where she contracted covid and died. Your house, your rules.

[@RJLiams]

So that redditors immediate assumption was the Brian was a violent person who strong armed the friend into bringing meat? That redditor needs to go to therapy like yesterday.

[@LoveableNiki]

I loathe that about Reddit.

[@wimsylogic65]

I mean is that immediate reaction or is it just to bring your attention to the possibility. No the new boyfriend should not be Automatically believe to be bad. But it's important to be aware and make notice of how the friend changed And be aware of what's different that possibly might have made her change. It's something to be aware of to look out to see is there red flags not see it as red flags. At least that's how I perceived it. OP even expresses that she thinks that he just wasn't aware. But if you have a long time friend who has always respected your boundaries suddenly they're dating this charming person and their behavior does a complete change, It's something to be aware of and maybe look more into. Honestly I think it's All on the friend is trying to impress a man assuming He wouldn't be accommodating To a vegan household.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

@@wimsylogic65 why is it important to be aware? You wouldn't say the same thing if Brian was a woman. That's an absolutely ridiculous thing to infer when you have literally ZERO information on the person. And if you think everyone is a violent AH, then why would you invite them to your house? That's ridiculous

[@JDKT002]

@@wimsylogic65 it's a matter of Reddit conditioning. on subs like that you get a lot of stories about POS abusive partners. So the reaction of the people who regularly frequent subs like that is "abusive relationship". It's hard to remember that the average age of a Reddit user is about 23/24. Literally not even old enough to have ever been in a long term adult relationship. IE after college and has been ongoing without breaks for several years.

[@bautistalover]

@@wimsylogic65 or how about assholes can only hide being an assholes for so long. Maybe Jane was always like this just perhaps Jane finally decided to show her real face.

[@brandi5126]

Hey, Hey Mark 👋 😊 I got a joke for you that my 7 year old told me. Why is the ocean friendly? Because it waves.

[@jamestown8398]

Hahaha!

[@FlowersforCapitu]

Story 1 - NTA. Jane knew the boundaries and broke them. I can't go without meat so I would just NOT accept the invitation instead of going and breaking OP's rules

[@Catilena1890]

Yeah I can live without meat for a little but, and if I am super craving something I'd go out to eat.

[@zerobolt9506]

That one YTA comment pissed me off, I love eating burgers & the like, but if I was vegan & was told of the same rule were I couldn't eat vegan at there house, you know what I'll do, just eat out, that simple, the commenter was an idiot for thinking they could turn it around, also cooking that food in OP's home will cross contaminated her kitchen & I don't want the even think of what she'd have to do to fix it, good thing she stop her before she had a chance to even start cooking.

[@FlowersforCapitu]

@@zerobolt9506 yeah the cross- contamination is a very valid issue. I CAN'T eat pork, AT ALL. I can't digest it properly and get sick; once an uncle prepared bacon on my dad's pan and then I made some scrambled eggs for myself later... I spent the day throwing up and had a migraine for the rest of the week.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@FlowersforCapitu yea I learned all about cross contamination from this stories to be honest, knew that you had to be careful depending how bad you has things, but didn't know how cross contamination worked until reddit

[@aikikaname6508]

Exactly! Accept the rules or don’t go if they’re that ridiculous to you. I have had Mormon friends I’ve spent evenings round and I couldn’t drink coffee or alcohol. I would NEVER think it’s okay to demand that I should bring in booze round theirs

[@dsm4462]

Omg laughing so hard at the underwear story, with the comment Profit. Who else laughed at the South Park reference? Loved it!

[@edwardbickford8277]

SMH "people eat meat get over it." I'm not even vegan and that's an absurd statement to me. I would have snapped back "Some people don't eat meat get over it." OP had a clearly defined reasonable boundary for her home. (in place for years.) She did nothing wrong.

[@tandelogan2825]

It is actually ridiculous to think you can bring meat into a house that does not eat meat, I think people are just so self centred that they don't think properly.... My sisters family is vegetarian and I would not even think of bringing meat into her house...we didn't need to have a conversation of boundaries, I know her and her family are vegetarian...lol

[@danteofastoria8825]

Then in my home you can’t bring vegan shit into my house as I have a moral objection to it. Either you eat a burger in my house or you just don’t eat. Granted I don’t think I could be freinds with someone who tried to put insipid arbitrary rules like that on me anyway so I probably wouldn’t put myself in this position and frankly I have no issue with vegans, but I do think it’s shitty I have to change my diet to yours being in your house when unless I was feeling really petty I wouldn’t do the same to you and It would be considered reprehensible for me to do the same thing in mine.

[@danteofastoria8825]

I mean really can you imagine how shitty I’d look if my vegan freind stayed at my house for two days and I told them oh you can’t have anything vegan in my house you specifically can only eat meat and I refuse to allow you to bring anything else in after they took a 3 hour drive? And I mean hey it’s not gonna kill them it’s not an allergy issue it’s an issue about me and them being morally indignant so the only thing really getting hurt is someone’s pride and a freindship. Regardless of wether or not the rule was previously established.

[@tandelogan2825]

​@@danteofastoria8825 Don't you eat vegetables? If you just eat meat I would understand your position but a vegie burger can be better than some peoples dry overdone hamburgers. You are at their house...I will eat anyones food when I am at their house . Do you look at horror at a vegetable, the way a vegan or vegetarian looks at a dead carcass? If you care for someone there are no issues and no need for rules.

[@danteofastoria8825]

@@tandelogan2825 I do eat vegetables but the over arching point I’m making is I shouldn’t have to go full vegan when I’m over your house for a couple days. I get your vegan and I get you have a moral objection to eating meat, but at the same time I’m not forcing you to eat the burger and I don’t have the same moral objection to animals being killed that you do. I’m gonna eat it myself if your letting me cook something in the house so I don’t see why it’s an issue. SI could come up with a line of rhetoric for why I don’t want vegan food in my house for instance I’m on a carnivore diet and I see vegan food as a horiffic abomination to the culinary arts or some stupid shit like that. But that’s the point I’m trying to make that rule would be entirely arbitrary and stupid my dietary restrictions arnt the same as my vegan freinds so why would I force mine on them when they come over my house. Just let them cook the bean patty since it dosent really effect me at all and the should just let me cook the regular burger at their house and not make it a freindship altering ordeal.

[@SharmClucas]

I have dietary requirements that make it so I cannot be vegan (severe nickel allergies). Even if the friend had this problem I'd still say the OP isn't the jerk. If I had a friend like this and I was going to stay over I'd figure out some way to work it out with her, or I just wouldn't stay there. Respect is a two way street. I'm really sad they're going to fix up the relationship, because it doesn't seem like a healthy one.

[@TarisLuna]

Yea, but your case is very different. You have a severe allergy and just can't eat vegan because of your health. In that case most people would make an acception and would at least let bring your prepared food. OPs "friend" was simply entitled and disrespectful.

[@SharmClucas]

@@TarisLuna I agree, and that was the point I was trying to make. Even if that "friend" had my unusual exception I'd still say OP wasn't the jerk for kicking her out over not following those house rules. A real friend would have worked on a solution together before it came up, or just found another place to stay.

[@wmdkitty]

OP is TA for restricting somebody else's diet.

[@SharmClucas]

@@wmdkitty She's not though, she's just restricting what activities go on inside her own home. OP didn't have any problems with people eating meat elsewhere.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@@TarisLuna While I agree, would OP be able to make such a compromise? It seems like having animal products in the house _at all_ was the boundary, not just preparing/cooking it there. Like if someone who can't be vegan for health reasons got take-out, they might have to go outside or something. Mind you, it would only be for a couple days, so it _probably_ wouldn't be a big deal... 🤔 Idk.

[@BritInvLvr]

Story one: I am very much not a vegan, but damn. OP’s friend was so disrespectful to OP. Go out and have a burger if that’s what you wanted, don’t bring it in and then get mad for getting the ol’ heeve ho. Geez. Some people.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The first and biggest mistake they made was staying at OP's house. Get a Hotel room. I NEVER stay at someone's house. I like to sometimes go to bed late and wake up early. I like my privacy. It can be stressful when you host people staying over at your home for a few to several days so I don't think it is fair to put that undue stress onto others by requiring them to be hosting myself and/or my family. When you stay elsewhere, you can eat whatever and whenever you want. You can be a good guest and eat their vegan meal and when you leave, you can stop by a burger joint or a steakhouse and get filled up for the rest of the day. Although, at this point, I don't have any "vegan" friends. I have some friends that are a few various types of vegetarians and some of them tried to go vegan but going vegan adds a massive new layer to your life that many people don't understand, mostly from making sure you don't have any "animal products" in your food, clothing, lifestyle, etc.

[@nadirimyers6643]

What don’t they believe in? Vegetables!? Lol. Vegan food is good. Where I live in Florida they every started opening high end vegan restaurants and they are good as hell. I had sushi made with watermelon and it was one of the best things I’ve ever eaten (no it didn’t taste like watermelon lol) if you don’t like the rules of a place… don’t stay there.

[@bloonh8tr619]

Thanks for the upload Mark! ETA Did...did we just get Rick rolled? Lol

[@faraht1250]

"I swear this is not an advertisement on bamboo underwear." Me: (Spurted water. Put the cup on the table.) hahahahaha...

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 1: NTA. I am also perplexed over how someone's veganism or vegetarianism is embarrassing. I find it far more weird and embarrassing that someone unrelated to the whole thing would be embarrassed by it. Like what is wrong with you? Jane doesn't want to eat meat? Great for Jane. Jane doesn't want us to cook meat at her place while she's hosting us? Well, it's her house, so no problem. If I get a strong hankering for meat, I'll just go out to eat for lunch or dinner that day, and we can make a thing of it as a date night. How is this difficult or a problem? Maybe I'll get to try some interesting new meals.

[@jominion4856]

So switch the scenerio. You’re a vegan staying at a meat only house. You bring in a vegan meal and are promptly kicked out. Even IF you bought them a meat option. How is that fair? Wouldnt you be mad at that? They had no choice in what to eat and makes no sense that they’re forced to eat a certain way no matter what

[@JW-vd4il]

Yeah I thought that was weird, too. How is that "embarrassing?" It's just a fact. I also had to go back and check ages -- 29 is too old for this kind of weird shenanigans, both the "embarrassment" plus feeling like you have to be someone different for an SO. Who didn't even have a problem with anything until the lies that came out!

[@nationalsocialism3504]

Cause it's obviously weird behavior carried out by weirdos over religious beliefs... just like all unnatural behaviors. Humans are omnivores for a reason and only a 21st century civilization is just barely capable of sustaining such an unnatural diet through a combination of sedentary living, a whole world of options & supplements to cover for the missing/sub-par plant based nutrients (herbivores have multiple stomachs and/or gut flora specifically for that particular digestive process & we as humans eat the animals to get a denser amount of nutrients from them.)

[@JW-vd4il]

@@nationalsocialism3504 This is why you're not invited to the parties.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@JW-vd4il not vegan parties... I was out with friends having dinner at a pizza place & this one weirdo vegan started talking about how eating honey was "morally wrong" cause it's stealing unpaid labor from the bees. My explosive uncontrollable laughter at hearing that statement spoken with true conviction in real life made him get red in the face embarrassed then leave cause I couldn't stop laughing. A few people a table were also butthurt about me being rude but some others were happy cause the sanctimonious hippy and girlfriend were gone. When I could finally stop then I was able to have normal conversations without some weirdo vegan ruining our fun.

[@ScooterBond1970]

OK, never expected Mark to rickroll us 🤣 !

[@luna_soleil]

Story 1: I'm having a really hard time with this. Yes the precedent has been set for a long time and is generational, the friend was super rude to not tell her bf and bring meat into the house. But.... I have a lot of vegan friends, I don't have a problem eating vegan. You know what every single one of them has done for me on their own volition? Offered to cook meat for me. I agree with the commenter that said how would OP feel if they were required to eat meat in a friend's house. Two, something a lot of vegans fail to realize is their food is just not filling and people have different requirements. I lift weights I'm not even that big and I can eat **all** my roommates food that she prepared for a party and still be hungry. It's not about if it tastes good or not vegan protein just isn't enough for some people. Story 2: I can't. OP, why would you marry a guy that doesn't want or care to do laundry. And it's super weird that he won't let you use his underwear especially while pregnant. But also you're an adult buy your own underwear??? Idk this one was a trip yall

[@xPidgexSmithx]

How do you even equate the two situations? Meat eaters aren’t morally or ethically opposed to eating vegetables so it’s no skin of their nose to eat them or make them for others. Also vegan food is very filling, you clearly aren’t eating the right foods/dishes, we aren’t all walking around starving are we? im not entirely sure why you think you lifting weights makes your take more valid, Vegan body builders and weight lifters exist. 😂

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@xPidgexSmithx If I may, your response is what makes a lot of non-vegans find vegans insufferable; it's the implication that we're 'doing it wrong' when veganism doesn't work. User @Luna explained their lived experience, their body's needs according to their life and your response was to say that they're doing it wrong and just need to eat different vegan foods. If someone responded to a vegan's ethical concerns by saying that they're just buying the wrong meat, try purchasing from Sparkle Fluffy Happy Farm, it would be seen as outrageous. Maybe vegan weight lifters are using supplements that @Luna aren't interested in, maybe their needs are better met by veganism because they've been at it longer and their bodies are accustomed to it, it's not for you to judge.

[@xPidgexSmithx]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 firstly, this person has literally just talked about party food…not actual meals and on a long term basis, so it’s hardly much of a “lived experience”. I’ve been around long enough and heard enough opinions and anecdotes on why someone can’t be vegan…when it’s all just down to the fact they don’t want to and don’t want to even put in the effort and that’s up to them but chatting about us vegans not realising x when they don’t know anything themselves is tiring. It’s well known that when people first go over to veganism they feel hungry as the food they are used to eating isn’t the same as a lot of the food they will be eating, so they have to get used to portion sizes and eating different combos of food. Pointing out a common mistake from someone who’s been doing it a long time isn’t insufferable it’s what all people need to know, telling people to eat more food or different food isn’t the same as telling an ethical vegan to buy meat from x place, at all. It’s still the killing of an animal regardless if it was put up in a 5* hotel and only ate food prepared by a Michelin chef. I don’t get where people conjure up these comparisons.

[@kb1073]

@Smith XVX You obviously missed the part where they said your response is why people find vegans insufferable.

[@jessical4866]

Jane outed herself when she said the rules were “embarrassing”. She weaponized Brian, used him to pressure OP into submitting to politeness. But none of that was because of Brian, it was already there.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

"We no longer put leeches on people, right?" *Wrong.* Leeches are an essential part of health care in certain situations. I know someone who had accidentally cut off his fingers in a workshop accident and part of the plan to reattach the digits included placing leeches on the ends of the fingers to encourage blood flow. So, yes, they are still in use to this day.

[@joeschmo622]

Yeh, same as maggots. They eat necrotised flesh and stop at the still viable flesh, and I think they even secrete something that's a sort of natural antibiotic.

[@lsmmoore1]

It's half right. We no longer put leeches on children as a matter of course and then later transfer to cutting them with knives once they grow up, in both cases to drain "bad blood" from the body. It would have been more accurate to say we don't do bloodletting as a medical procedure, because we don't, and blood sampling is not bloodletting (and usually leeches seem to be the symbolic stand-in for bloodletting because that has historically been the most common use of them, though I'm not sure everyone knows that's what was meant). Nowadays the usage of knives in medicine is called surgery and the knives are specialized ones called scalpels that have to be sterilized before use, and the person needs to be anesthetized before any knife cutting can begin. And the use of leeches is more restricted and specific than that (like the encouragement of blood flow you described).

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

@@joeschmo622 Yep. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways - the trick is in knowing _when_ to use them. Maggots are useful because it's a gentler way of getting rid of the stuff that needs to be gotten rid of without causing undue harm the way going in with a scalpel very easily could.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

@@lsmmoore1 Like I said: "in certain situations." 💁

[@HaaraAki]

Story 1: Heck, I have Service dog. I don't bring him to houses that don't want pets inside. Since I feel it's still their home, they can decide what happens in it. (But since that bit different, I don't go to those houses.)

[@ADWebTV]

That's not comparable, a service dog is not a pet and all people who need one can't make that exception depending on their needs. It's kind of like telling a person who needs a wheelchair to not bring it inside.

[@HaaraAki]

@@ADWebTV You have a point. But I've met plenty of people, sadly, who don't want 'dogs' inside houses. So its something I've kind of grown used to, and therefore avoid visiting these people. Its same issue with cars. Is it right? No, but sadly its life. I've actually had an argument using wheelchair example and these people don't budge.

[@WadeAlma]

@@HaaraAkiBecause they are immoral asses doesn’t excuse them.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@ADWebTV It is comparable to people that don't care for animals in their home. A lot of people are scared of dogs or are allergic. My hobbies would be destroyed by pets. Its always best to ask first. I'd like to think I'd be accommodating but it would be awkward. A wheelchair wouldn't fit my house. That would require major reconfigurations.

[@singer2be256]

I'm an ethics based vegan, but I think I'd be ok with people bringing animal foods into my home so long as they don't expect me to cook it and/or pay for it

[@ZoeAlleyne]

I think for some people the smell of it cooking and the fact that there is animal grease on their pans is an ick.

[@BA-qn7xj]

That works for you and that’s great. For other people they may have rules about not having it in their home period and that’s also okay. In the same way a Muslim may not want pork products in their house at all, or a Sikh may not want meat products in their house at all.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@BA-qn7xj then don't invite meat eaters to stay at your place. It's so weird and rude to invite someone over and they to control what they eat if you don't say it specifically beforehand.

[@pir8lifeforme]

@@Aaron-kj8dv the point is the friend specifically knew no meat in the house for over 20 years. The friend only shared with BF that OP was Vegan, but not the no meat in home part. She and the BF could have gone to a restaurant if they wanted to eat meat.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@Aaron Uh...no. That is ridiculous. If you have any rules about your house you let people know what they are and they can decide for THEMSELVES, like grown adults, if they want to abide by. I do not and will not allow smoking in my house. You have to go outside if you want to smoke. My dog will not take up a human space but she will be on the furniture. You need to be fully vaccinated and have recently taken a covid test because there are vulnerable people living here. If people do not like that then they are completely within their rights to stay somewhere else.

[@piratsnygg]

It always baffles me when people say: "what if it was the other way around; what if someone made you eat meat in their home". What? Are some people really daft enough to think something like that goes both ways? Even small children know it doesn't work like that.

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

Exactly! As meat eater, I do also eat plant-based products along with animal-based products. A vegan eats plant-based products but not animal based products. Also, the op did say it’s not like she expected her guests to remove their leather clothes or anything like that, just no animal based products for eating could be in the home, that would contaminate her kitchen utensils.

[@TheSwagger81]

I have to call out the commenter that suggested the BF could’ve been abusive. Shame. Smfh

[@Jermbot15]

Story 1. Seems like a good boyfriend test. "Hey honey, we can stay with my crunchy friend for free but... they've got a hard vegan rule so we'll need to use some of the money we're saving on a hotel to go out for the red meat I need." If he doesn't see the obvious benefit of being a polite a respectful guest he's not worth keeping. And after the story update... I guess the same thing applies to her. Story 2. If you put a baby inside a woman, you need to be open to making some odd or annoying concessions. Having your underwear borrowed and needing to do laundry once or twice in a 10 month period are the least of them. Story 3. The friend might be pulling away, probably because OP is a possessive and demanding, or maybe just everyone's middle aged now, they have families, jobs, and other demands on their time.

[@DemonAngel]

NO MEAT story: I have eaten many vegan options before and I have found them to be absolutely delicious. I also believe that if you go into someone's house that is hosting you, you should respect their wishes. Now unfortunately my mom cannot eat a lot of the proteins in meat-based things because it actually makes her sick. Yes she has gone to the doctor about this. And sometimes chicken actually makes her sick, she's had to go to the doctor about this before as well for food poisoning. So my mom has now become a rabbit food eater as my dad's so jokingly put it. However my mom has thoroughly enjoyed eating her salads and anything that's not dairy base and trying more vegan options. My dad who is a carnivore to the fullest extent has even been open-minded about this. But he understands that it's because my mom cannot eat these things without getting sick. Now there could have been a conversation about all of this. And the boyfriend sounds actually very reasonable and very understanding. The friend does not sound like a friend at all. Opie was never the asshole in my opinion. And I hope they kind of see the dynamic with themselves and this supposed friend. I don't know it just sits funky with me.

[@seankeller1560]

The underwear story I can relate, over the years all of mine and my father's clothes(both male) have gotten mixed up talking jeans, dress pants, shirts and eventually underwear. Lately my mom has been a part of this as well. With either myself or dad wearing her jeans or blouses

[@macylouwho1187]

My husband is weird about anyone needing to use his underwear for any reason. I was like ok, weird but ok. My adopted father had to stay over a few nights during an emergency stay because my crazy mother had hit him over and over during a fight (guys I know how horrible this is but he won’t turn her in to police for it). He ran with no clothes. He has an almost abnormal fear of anyone finding out that he is abused, and I and my husband are the only ones who know. If I did anything about it like call the police myself or tell anyone he wouldn’t come here anymore. Anyway he had to borrow some clothing until he could drive to a store in another town to buy more. Including underwear. It was late when he arrived with just the clothes on his back. Husband was like “keep them” 😂. He said to put them away in a different drawer in the likely event that this happens again. I thought it was a bit dramatic until I noticed the pairs of panties that I put in the bathroom drawer for myself to put on after a bath were disappearing. I was wtf? My teen daughter was grabbing undies for herself out of my drawer when she forgot to grab hers and suddenly I was like “whelp, I get it now. I don’t like anyone else wearing my panties either 😂”. It’s a bit too intimate, underwear. They go on your most intimate area of the body. Just the idea that someone else’s bits are on that fabric is off putting. Even if it’s a close familial relationship.

[@Cheycartoongirl8]

Hey Waffle Gang! Urg, the holidays sure did kick my butt this year! Hope you're all having a great new year! Life Hack: (Retail hack from a retail worker friend 😜) Want to avoid the squeaky, wobbly or bumpy carts when you go shopping? Grab one that's outside before you enter the store. People normally ditch the bad ones inside. And it gives you a test before you come inside.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

That ONLY works if you don't live "Up North" LOLOLOLOL. Grabbing a cart that has been outside for half an hour or more when the temp is -20 below zero SUCKS. Often they can still be a tad cold after the employees bring them in from outside and they have only had a short period of time to warm up but grabbing them in the parking lot can be brutal especially if you need to set your kid(s) in them. If you want to start the shopping trip off on a pissy note, put your kids in a frozen cart from the parking lot LOLOLOLOLOL.

[@GanishTig]

Story 2 - bamboo underwear is very expensive - my partner wears the same (he also has a very large number of pairs, I think they are addictive). However, I wouldn't borrow his no matter what. Maybe hubby is worried she will stretch them so they won't fit him any more. Possibly get your own new undies.

[@kyriacarica5862]

OP's house, OP's rules. Jane has probably wanted to trample over her boundaries for a long time now and this was her way of "testing" how much she can get away with. She ain't no friend. After update: OP why are you even still wasting air on this "friend"? She sounds like a nightmare drama llama cow.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

You don't seem to be very "tolerant" of others. You made ASSumptions about Jane with little to no facts to base them on. Jane made a mistake, apologized, and OP accepted it. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. They don't dump their friends for mistakes or different beliefs. Let me guess, you are a Feminist and/or a Progressive Leftist aka Fascist. You believe that others must have the exact same beliefs as you do or you can't be friends with them. Others must be tolerant and respect your beliefs but their different beliefs are to be scoffed or laughed at.

[@mbyerly9680]

Wait until their toddler starts walking around the house with the bamboo underwear on his/her head. Will dad be able to handle it?

[@char-leewiebe7199]

Mens Underwear - I started wearing boxer shorts several years ago when I had 3 vulvectomies curtesy of my gyno-oncologist's office (the abnormal tissue turned out to be pre-cancer). When the post op bleeding stopped I was to wear boxers to allow things to air out. Fast forward I found the boxers to be pretty comfortable and today I will wear them mainly as pj bottoms, or make-shift bathing suit bottoms. That doesn't mean if I had a hubby that I would wear his (except for some dire emergency). I too feel wearing someone's underwear. My mom says if you need to, there is nothing wrong with buying other clothing items from a second hand store, but NOT socks or underwear as you never know what someone may have had and if it's contagious

[@romonaelrod7870]

Woo hoo 1st, time for waffles. Hiya Mark and Poppy and all of you cheeky Waffle loving so and so's. Much love

[@katie6731]

Story 2: I started changing into hubs's undies as soon as I got home from work around fifteen years ago. I discovered bamboo socks a dozen years ago, and started buying hubs bamboo undies shortly thereafter. As I slowly transitioned him from cotton to bamboo over a couple of years (it's not cheap to get a whole new set of underwear for someone all at once), I took his castoffs. When my body decided to reject me, and I became disabled due to intense, chronic pain, comfort was my most important objective. Even the pressure of a seam in clothing would exacerbate my pain. When we weren't at doctor offices trying to figure me out, I was home in hubs's undies and t-shirts. He fully supported this, and was happy that I'd found something that helped me, even if it was only by a smidgen. I've been slowly buying him more bamboo undies so we don't have to do laundry all the time. I'm not affiliated with any brand, except as a customer. I'm including the following info to help anyone else who wants to change over to save time and money, rather than experimenting with a bunch of brands the way we did. We both like Boody brand boxer briefs, because they don't have bulky seams or elastic that touches the skin. The fabric is so soft and does an excellent job of wicking sweat and drying quickly (pain sweat is especially icky). Unfortunately, they're expensive, so I'd wait for sales to stock us up. They also don't have much choice of color. Last year I discovered MeUndies, and went a little wild. Their patterns make me happy--keeping a positive mood is incredibly important for me now--and I appreciate their dedication to sustainability and ethics throughout their supply chain. I wear both the men's boxer briefs and the women's boyshorts and highly recommend both. I'm happy to answer questions about any of the other brands we've tried, or why bamboo/wood-based modal make such a difference to comfort over other fabrics, like cotton. I'm aware that I sound like an infomercial, but I truly only want to help. 💙

[@Anna-B]

I think the OPs rule in the first story is super weird, but it is a rule that should be followed

[@aikikaname6508]

Those are the two choices: 1) accept the invite and follow the rules 2) Thank the host for the offer but decline because the rules don’t work for you. You can’t accept a place to stay for you AND your partner that the host doesn’t even know, and then break that rule and throw a tantrum you’re not getting your own way

[@WadeAlma]

@@aikikaname6508OP is a bigot and shouldn’t have friends if they’re that unreasonable.

[@TarisLuna]

Story 2 NTA I know it is weird for some people to share underwear with a partner, but let's be real: If you have lived together for a long time, use the same shower and toilet, borrowing a pair of clean underwear is not a big deal.

[@pjschmid2251]

let's face it - if she is having a baby they have shared a lot more than underwear 😉

[@JB-gx6cq]

Agreed AND, while the husband isn’t an AH for not wanting to share, he absolutely is for the reason. Him not wanting to do his own laundry?! Yeah, I would cut that off right then. He would have to do his own from that point forward.

[@mananexus]

I’m sorry but no sharing underwear is just gross😊

[@sonialinsey8083]

Haha just buy your own bag of hanes it costs like 20 dollars.

[@CanyonALynn]

@PJ Schmid Exactly! Yo, they've been INSIDE each other, for her to be having his baby. 😂 Not to mention any oral sex they do and other activities. But some people draw the line at sharing clean underwear?

[@LupusArgentum]

Story 1's pre-update "YTA" comment is kinda bonkers. Being vegan isn't something you can just turn off, with time your body adapts to the change in diet and after a while you CAN'T eat meat or it'll actually make you sick. Even the smell can be enough to cause issues.

[@WadeAlma]

You can acclimate. So it’s not impossible.

[@LupusArgentum]

@@WadeAlmaI never said it was impossible, I said you can't just turn it off (which is not acclimating). The YTA comment was like "how would you feel if you had to eat non-vegan because..." but that's really not a fair comparison because non-vegan people can eat vegan at least temporarily with no side effects, but for a vegan person to suddenly eat meat would very likely make them sick. Thus, the YTA comment is bonkers.

[@WadeAlma]

@@LupusArgentum It’s not uncommon for vegans to be able to go back to eating meat with no side effects. Fact is, policing someone else’s diet makes them an ass. Cross contamination isn’t even an issue if you wash pans/pots.

[@LupusArgentum]

@@WadeAlma As an unapologetic omnivore, pork frequently gives me indigestion and I can't stand the smell of hamburger cooking (it smells like wet dog to me). So maybe I'm just over-empathizing with a hypothetical vegan being forced to eat meat while visiting a non-vegan - which again is what the original comment was regarding, and again I maintain is batshit crazy. PS: washing pots/pans doesn't get the smell out of the kitchen any faster, and the smell thing was a factor you've glossed over twice now. Just sayin'.

[@WadeAlma]

@@LupusArgentum This isn’t an allergy dude. It’s a choice. Also any time they go out to eat they’ll smell meat. So that excuse is bs. You defend the vegan assuming they have the same issues you have, but ignore how fucked it is to order people to eat a certain diet in your house. If they brought back slim Jim’s you think it would change anything? Even if it had no strong smell, it’s just because they want to control people’s diets. A hypothetical vegan can eat meat. Many go back to eating meat regularly with no problem at all. This is without acclimation btw. You are arguing a point that they never even made.

[@whatismylatestobsession350]

1 story: I'm vegan, in a non-vegan household (but primarily plant-based) If I had a vegan household, where all my knifes, pans, etc. had never been used on meat, I would down-right kick anyone out who didn't respect that (and that knew of that boundary) I have no control over the rest of the world, but my home, my rules. 2 story: I'm too old to be with anyone where I couldn't borrow their clothes - underwear included. But I'm WAY too old to be with anyone who FEARS doing laundry - or, in hindsigt, I don't think I'm too old. I just don't date children.

[@catsncrows]

Story 1. I would be so very careful around that friend. There was some seriously messy behavior there. Wonder why her relationship was on such shaky ground?

[@thomasjoseph5876]

It was probably on shaky ground because Jane isn't fully truthful and tries to "game the system" to her desires. Just as she did by not being truthful with Brian by telling him it would be ok for them to have burgers at the OP's house even though she KNEW ahead of time it wouldn't be but just "hoped for the best". Jane hoped the OP wouldn't make a big deal of it because she didn't fully know Brian and wouldn't want to embarrass Jane in front of Brian telling him they couldn't eat burgers in their home.

[@deliriouswhitewolf818]

Underwear story: Girl buy yourself some boxers! I bought some for my internship at a zoo in a hot climate. They didn't bunch up as much and felt so much more flexible. I did a ton of physical labor and having them has been a game changer and since my internship ended I've kept them and use them when I wanna be extra comfy or with certain pants. TLDR- Everyone deserves boxers

[@janmots2829]

Story 1: NTA, OP is a Vegan and as such put those boundaries/rules in place because she felt uncomfortable with meat being in the house. If it was me, I would respect the rules and not bring meat into the house if I visited a Vegan friend. OP's friend knew the rules and thought she could get away with doing that and it has damaged her friendship but on the bright side at least they can try to repair it.

[@mikeydoes]

Yeah, but that rule and restriction is something that will lose you friends. And this is one of those cases. It was probably boiling over for a long time. I don't agree with either side and I particularly don't like people being my friend and still telling me I can't eat meat, even if it is in their house. I would never go, so that wouldn't be a problem.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

@@mikeydoes You're not allowed to go to someone's house and blatantly disrespect their rules. If she wasn't okay with those rules, then she shouldn't go to OPs house in the first place. Friends respect other friends' homes. Having house rules in place doesn't make you "lose friends", it weeds out those who never respected you in the first place. Aka.... Not friends.

[@mikeydoes]

@@fantasystaplesuwu1554 It was a long time coming. It doesn't make either person right.

[@AngelaMerici12]

The thing here is that the friend is just tired of the "rule". Can you imagine normal people saying "you can't bring vegetables here"? No, cause that's a thing only vegans do. A host should be accommodating.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

@@mikeydoes Uh.. No. OP was completely in their rights. Their house, their rules. They explained it clearly to their friend YEARS prior and it has never changed. OP is quite obviously and unarguably in the right. So... Yes, it does mean OP is right. Lmfao.

[@rachel-in-the-208]

3:28 Great Rick Astley! I do that too … Sometimes I’ll say something and song lyrics will immediately fill my brain! 😆 (We’ve all been there) This story is a definite NOT the A-Hole … the friend is the a-hole!

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 3: YTA. That edit is WILD. So OP went on vacation during Sarah's birthday weekend last year, but it's a problem that Sarah is going in vacation during OP's birthday weekend this year??? Chile, Sarah is gone. Sarah deserves a better friend. OP is oblivious.

[@reinwolf534]

Op said they celebrated a month later so if there are no plans to celebrate ops later then everyone sucks

[@LoveableNiki]

@@reinwolf534 Sarah is making a big deal about not celebrating on her actual birthday, so there should be no future plans. Sarah is a sh!t person.

[@starbird3939]

Story 3 - YTA Yuuuuup. Sounds like a bridezilla story the other day where the bride was upset her moh wanted to spend her own birthday without the OP. It sounds like this OP is self absorbed.

[@TarisLuna]

Bringing meat in a vegan household... And then these comments about OP being a bad host... Would those commenters force a ciliac to serve them wheat bead, a jewish or muslim to serve them pork / alcohol? If someone does not want certain foods or drinks in their home, it is to be respected.

[@WadeAlma]

Ah yes, someone eating their own prepared food vs making other people make their food that they are allergic to or don’t want to touch for a religious belief. OP is a prick and really should be ostracized. I get the cross contamination issue. But even if the did cross contaminate. The vegan would be fine.

[@selbarton]

1. Skipping meat in all meals for a few days can be dangerous for those with coronary issues. If they went out for meals so they can eat balanced meals, OP would be offended for them not eating the food she was forcing them to eat. The fact she admitted that people, including this friend, have stayed in a hotel because of her rules in a negative tone. So she has a problem with their diet beyond the walls of her house. Maybe she didn't want to tell Brian "we have to eat meat out, and she's going to be annoyed with that." She points out she serves mac and cheese yet she can't use cheese if she is vegan, so she doesn't follow her diet either. She says people only leave her meals hungry if they want to, but that boils down to they can suffer my food because I say so or it is their fault they didn't suffer through food they don't like. I honestly think OP will be pushy as she has been. Jane wanted space and OP couldn't allow that so not answering and hanging up are the options. 2. Trying on a pair is not wearing them all day or take them. She needs to buy her own. He can't wear his own underwear. The rash was wearing too small panties, and if she bought ones that fit she wouldn't have a rash. Talk about feeling entitled to take his because she's too lazy to buy her own. Otherwise, he isn't wearing his underwear for a very long time. Months upon months. And she used the excuse he wouldn't want her buying men's underwear, so she wears his... There is zero logic there. She tried to pretend buying her own was an issue with him instead of she was too lazy to buy them. If she can go to work or shop for other things, then she can buy underwear that fit her. 3. "How dare you not avoid your month long trip for my birthday." She was a vacation pushing friend's birthday a month out, and now she is mad it happened to her. Friend called it exactly what it is. Maybe OP needs the big reality that a birthday is still just one day older than the day before, so the same as any other day.

[@HunnieSuckle24]

Story 2: Hubby had no problem getting in OPs pants but as soon as she get up in his, he has a problem 😂😂😂😂😂

[@HeoBaby24]

Is he wearing op underwear? No didn't think so

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

@@HeoBaby24 she's carrying his damn baby

[@HunnieSuckle24]

@@SilverstreamPJ28 It's so beautiful how you got the joke. Thank you for being so smart

[@HeoBaby24]

@@SilverstreamPJ28 so? What does that have to do with it? IT his child too she carrying it yah woman are the only ones that are able to carry child big deal That doesn't change the fact she can either ask him to buy her some underwear or get it herself

[@HunnieSuckle24]

@@HeoBaby24 You still totally missed the joke 😂😂😂😂

[@amadddd0]

Story1: While people have all kinds of ridiculous, or overbearing rules for their home, BUT if someone's got rules about using their damn kitchen, follow the damn rules or dip

[@lindalehr1551]

Yes, the point is Jane did not contact OP before arriving to ask if they could eat meat. She and OP could have then had a discussion instead of Jane just hoping to strong arm her friend.

[@necilya]

Story 2: I’m definitely NOT sharing underwear. Never. My young cousin borrowed my underwear once. She was 15 I was 18. I noticed when she bent down. I told my aunt but she denied it. When it came back in my drawers I just got rid of it. I just can’t.

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

Omfg the edit on that last post! "I wasn't absent for her birthday! I was just absent...on her birthday!"

[@TriXJester]

Story 1: Dude, I dont even like most vegans I know, but I'd never bring meat to their house. That's petty as hell. Jane ain't your friend.

[@SausageRoll4u]

So why do they demand vegan options when going to a meat eaters home? Stuck up

[@kateboarman8674]

How about because they literally think eating animal products is wrong and don’t want to do it due to that? Also, literally every vegan I know brings their own food

[@xPidgexSmithx]

@@SausageRoll4u no vegan “demands” others make food for them in their houses and regardless meat eaters aren’t morally opposed to vegetables, they eat them. 🙄

[@Longsotoad]

@@SausageRoll4u oh no god forbid you ever come face to face with a vegetable!

[@wmdkitty]

@@kateboarman8674 Still stuck up and entitled af.

[@kathyniebylski6735]

The 3rd OP is TA If they have to celebrate their birthdays, why not pick one day, get food from wherever you wanted the food from and give each other presents. The theme of the party will be a birthday celebration and everyone can collab on what cake to bring

[@jennysmith38]

Any clothing made from bamboo, especially socks and underwear, is more breathable and is also more naturally moisture wicking and absorbent than other materials, which keeps you drier and feeling fresh most of the day, which is very beneficial to most people. So I understand why he didn't want her wearing his bamboo underwear, plus, I personally find it strange to wear someone else's underwear, unless it's an absolute emergency.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

16:32 AGREED ON BUYING BAMBOO UNDERWEAR! 💯🎯 I just know they’re amazing and the😻 is breathing so nicely! 😂😂😂

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Story 1: NTA. a lot of people in the comments are arguing that OP should be "accommodating" and that they wouldn't be friends with OP. Well, guess what? You don't have to be friends with OP. Neither does OP's "friend". Simple as that. There is absolutely no reason to be disrespectful of someone's house rules. If you don't like someone's rules, don't go to their house. If OP doesn't want the smell of cooked meat in their house, they shouldn't have to deal with it because some disrespectful so-called "friend" decided they don't care about how OP feels. It's not like OP is forcing her friend to be vegan. Her friend can eat burgers every damn day of the week for all OP cares. She is enforcing a rule in her own personal home only. People act like that's some sort of sin. It's so weird how people think being a guest at someone's home means they get treated like some sort of god. No, if you're a visitor at my home, I will house you and feed you and entertain you IF you follow my house rules. If you don't, get out.

[@claytonmorgan1843]

Story 2: Its situations like this are why divorces happen more often than not.

[@lexawatson2295]

What if instead of being vegan, the OP kept kosher, halal, or was on another diet that wasn't due to allergies? Vegans get a lot of bad rep as it is to a degree, but it is no different from other moral based dietary pratices if they are respectful about it.

[@ADWebTV]

those are based on religious beliefs vs choice of diet. I don't mind that she doesn't allow meat but I took it as all animal products so any food that is not vegan. That feels so extra. But she likes to police food.

[@eddieisfiction442]

if there’s any exception in life, it’s vegans and crossfitters. It’s ok to be against them.

[@WadeAlma]

The difference is those don’t cut out a whole food group for people. It’s policing your guests diet. The guest has to eat out all the time? How rude of a host can you be?

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - Soft YTA Borrowing a couple pairs is fine as long as OP washed them and ordered her own undies. And wear those.

[@k3upikachu]

The Bolognese part is really funny because it happened to me when I was vegan too... I made a guy friend vegan tacos that had options of a few different fillings including "ground beef" and he took a bite and literally said "omg see this is so damn good.... this is why I could never be vegan." I was like "BITCH THIS IS VEGAN" 😭

[@Solarstormflare]

what did he say??

[@_BBAGG_]

And then everyone clapped 👏

[@grey2366]

@@_BBAGG_ Eh, as a vegetarian - yea, I've had something similar to this happen a handful of times over the years. I get it a lot with a fun chili recipe that I make and stuff into baked potatoes with a lil cheese and sour cream - super filling, good fiber, all that good stuff. Sometimes stuff you don't think would happen does in real life as evidenced by quite a lot of what happened in 2020. If you're too sheltered to accept that part of reality, the internet is maybe not for you, bud.

[@_BBAGG_]

@@grey2366 And then everyone clapped 👏

[@grey2366]

@@_BBAGG_ ... Oh wow, that bit about being sheltered got to you, didn't it, tumblrina?

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

14:44 I just know they’re amazing and I now need to find some! I love my bamboo sheets

[@AndyyWithAY]

I would've at least cussed Jane out and put her on a time out. I don't even get angry anymore, but this 💩 pissed me off. The relationship is already on the rocks so you disrespect your friend for decades.

[@vanzy01]

👍🏿💯

[@truthseeker9249]

Her ass would be in the doghouse for at LEAST a month.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: so to make her boyfriend happy since their relationship is rocky already, Jane lies to him about her best friend being ok with him getting meat and cooking meat in her home… at the expense of her best friend. Friends like that are not good friends, lucky she is that her friend forgave her that easily. Good on the boyfriend for dumping her, no one needs someone to lie to them at the expense of someone else. If I was lied to and did something on the false pretenses that it was ok to do so and it wasn’t, I don’t know if my relationship with the one who lied will be what it was

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

For story 1, I have to give my input about my meal plan. I'm type 1 diabetic and have been since I was 7. I've always eaten meat products. If I go to someone's house and they're strictly vegan, I will eat but I would go out somewhere else to buy myself a burger or something like that. I need my meat proteins because vegetable protein doesn't cut it for my diet. The only plant based protein I eat is peanut butter. If I know they're vegan, then I would ask permission to bring myself something to eat. If they don't like the idea, then I'm not going to their place to eat. I'm sorry but I cannot change my diet just because someone else doesn't like what I eat. OP here isn't an asshole here but if this information isn't told to someone new, then yes, she would be an asshole because of this.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

OK, so that's the question I had too. Like, if OP meets a T1D who has a hypoglycemic episode at her home and goes to eat gummy candies because its a quick, measured source of sugar, would she tell them that they shouldn't have had that in her house at all because of the gelatine and disallow them eating it? Would a T1D be allowed to take insulin? What about a visitor with high blood pressure? Fake meat is known for being high in salt content. Would they just have to not have a main? Though not frequently seen, what would OP do about a friend or guest with a soy allergy? She wouldn't be able to guarantee a lack of cross contamination; would someone who eats meat due to a soy allergy have to bring their own meal to OP'S home and it still be vegan? I am reminded if the woman whose openly vegan roommate lied and told her that she (the roommate) had made a full breakfast with real bacon as a getting to know you for her new roommates, only for OP to be gotcha-d into eating soy, which she was allergic to. I realise that the quick answer is don't go to OP's home, but that doesn't make for good hospitality.

[@audreym3908]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 I think she wouldn't mind if it's for medical reasons about the gummies. FYI there are vegan gummies if needed.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@audreym3908 While I realise that vegan gummies exist, it still sounds a bit absurd that someone would have to specifically buy them to be allowed to take care of their health needs at OP's home. While you sound like you can understand the nuances of the issues, OP doesn't strike me as someone who does. Maybe it's Jane citing that she's secretly found OP to be "stuck up" about her veganism. OP writes herself as pretty black and white to me. I guess the ETA that I realise I was getting to is hidden animal products are everywhere; OP’s rule literally means that regardless of your age or circumstances (because I straight up forgot children and people with sensory issues that may have limited palettes) you are required to do a full inspection of all food packaging to bring your own snacks to OP's home and eat for yourself.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 as a diabetic, you need some actual meat based protein to help with the control of a low blood sugar level reaction. With me, give me a glass of grape juice with some cheese, for example. I'm I'm hungry, and my sugar level is low, I want a chocolate bar or a donut or a cake with frosting on it. Don't give me an orange or banana. It's not fast enough to bring up my sugar level. Also, it won't bring it up really high. A better source of sugar for me is honey or maple syrup. The maple syrup would be the most vegan source that would be acceptable in her house. I would still need actual meat proteins to help control it for a longer period of time. Meat proteins help with the digestion of sugars by slowing it down. Peanut butter is the closest thing for protein that is vegan in my opinion. If the person who is vegan doesn't have anything like those two products, then a type 1 diabetic who is having a low blood sugar level reaction will need to call an ambulance service to help them with shots of glucose into their system. OP here wouldn't be able to do this. Here's another thought also. What if OP has a child and that kid is declared juvenile diabetic (type 1), and the child must eat meat to survive. What is she going to do?

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@jeancarbonneau6966 Thank you for your answer based on your lived experience! I knew that fruit wasn't good enough on its own, but I hadn't realised just how integral the animal product was to the process. I think you're right; OP will have a tough reality if she has a child with any food issues.

[@ronniec427]

Story 3: I didn't know Michael Scot used Reddit. This reminded me of S2 Ep19 "Michael's Birthday" from The Office.

[@CorgiNub]

I also can't be vegan because of a chronic illness I have (and frankly I'm not interested in it even if I could be because I've struggled with ED behavior in the past). If I were in OP's friend's position, I'd probably just accept the fact that I wouldn't be able to comfortably stay at her place and politely decline the invite.

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

I don't think the OP wants friend to be vegan long-term/plan vegan meals, I think they just would usually make a spaghetti bolognaise and you wouldn't know the difference, like you'd be unrestricted with what they have basically. Maybe I don't understand why it's an issue here as someone who's not experienced it (as in literally there's a reason that's still uncomfortable).

[@CorgiNub]

@@ShotgunsAndSalt in my case, I'd have to go out to eat at least once a day if I didn't want to have a health issue--that's why I'd probably not stay at someone's house who didn't allow nonvegan food under their roof. Has nothing to do with a dislike of vegan food for me. I just can’t digest a lot of protein substitutes but also need regular proteins and fats because of malabsorption. I know OP's friend doesn't have a dietary need for nonvegan food but the point still stands that if she didn't want to be restricted to vegan meals, she probably just shouldn't stay over at OP's house. I think that's the best solution for both of them

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

@@CorgiNub Oh yeah, I'm talking about a short stay of course, eating out once a day isn't sustainable long-term. OP would have to compromise if friend was going to live there too. I definitely agree there, if OP's friend really won't have 1 vegan meal they obviously can't stay at OP's

[@DestinationsChronicles]

Yeah! And don't borrow my bamboo socks either. I LOVE those socks!

[@franciscorosa1498]

Meat burgers in a vegan household can ruin the pans/ cross contaminate things if not treated right. I'm a vegetarian and my family eats meat, I just have a few specific pans I've bought so they don't need to worry about it. I'd just be concerned about her or her mother getting sick.

[@SausageRoll4u]

Meat doesn't make you sick, not eating meat does. Hence why you need Vitamin B12. Stop treating meat like Meth and grow up. It's disturbing the level of actual neurosis you vegans will go to. Go enjoy your cancerous soy extract and I'll enjoy my nutritious organic steak.

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

I swear I am not trying to be an ass but this confuses me. Is there something I don’t know because I’ve worked in kitchens and once you wash the pan/pot… I’m just trying to clarify, are you talking actual cross-contamination or you don’t like the idea that meat was cooked in the same pan that you use?

[@Puffinugginns]

@Toast Ghost from a technical standpoint the residue wouldn't likely ever cause an issue. But from the mental aspect those pans would be tainted. Cross contamination is technically a thing but this usually happens in a restaurant setting from either too close ingredients or improperly cleaned equipment and untensils. I have multiple anaphylaxis alkergies and can use any pan that had nuts or shelfish in it if it was cleaned correctly. But from the mental aspect its still hard to break that line of thinking and take the risk even if it was cleaned well.

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

@@Puffinugginns …Thanks. That’s what I was trying to get to the bottom of. Whether this was an ethical thing or if I just completely spaced out during those food safety courses. LOL.

[@Rhaenarys]

You should really make it clear this is your opinion, as I was just about to ask the same thing. Pans are perfectly fine after cooking meat...I mean...that's what they're made for...cooking food. Which meat is often the main course. And...cross contamination only happens if not properly washed, which can be an issue for many non vegans...as it's believed to keep the flavor. Saying it like this gives off the idea of misinformation that cooking meat on pans does something to destroy the pan and washing doesn't do any good. Not true. And a bit dramatic. I hate mushrooms...I won't refuse food cooked on the same pan as them though, especially since it's been washed.

[@ZombieMinion1992]

So it’s funny. I got a lady boxers ad before Story2 and it made me laugh how it worked out.

[@uranus5479]

They're staying a weekend and they can't go 2/3 days without eating meat?

[@Rhaenarys]

I can't. But I'd eat out, not bring it there.

[@redtailarts101]

No way story 3 OP typed "why are u vacationing on my birthday?" AND typed "I was unavailable because I was going away on vacation" BRO

[@AndyyWithAY]

I could never be vegan, but there's a ton of vegan food that's as delicious or more so than food with animal products. Decadent hardy food. Presumably OP let them stay in the house for free. The least Jane could've done is abide by the rules. She's always abided by the rules. What is wrong with her?

[@veraloef1696]

hello seamstress here, bamboo fabric is a new type of fabric that has made it's debut a few years ago. it has alot of the properties of cotton but is alot more durable, soft, and environmentally friendly

[@moonbear5929]

The Underwear Story: As soon as OP noticed how nice the boxers were, she should have gone out and bought some for herself rather than continuing to were her husband's skivvies. That would have stopped most of the weirdness he felt about her using pair after pair of his underwear.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I don't understand why she let it go on to the point where she couldn't wear her own underwear. She _knew_ her underwear was getting tighter, wore hers while they were too small, then took his when it became unbearable. People with problems that they let carry on until the solution inconveniences someone else make me irrationally frustrated.

[@toysruskid5074]

There are boxers for women - and pajama boxers meant to be worn as shorts over underwear. And boy shorts. There are also maternity boy shorts.

[@toysruskid5074]

The difference is typically that the "flap" is gone or fake and just for style and it's got more hip space.

[@toysruskid5074]

Also there are bamboo underwear for women made to replace pads for light periods or to protect from leakage for heavier ones. Bamboo underwear seem to be the big thing on the market lately.

[@GinHindew110]

Stpry 1- your house, your rules That said, is so silly when people fight over vegan food, specially considering how the fancy vegan foods also have a very unethical impact on poor countries where they are produced And, once ethics are similar, is just a big fight over their favorite ingredients I mean, the pineapple pizza war is just a meme

[@AnymousScreams]

My house rule as a vegetarian is that anything that cooked, cut, or touched meat in my kitchen gets instantly washed or soaked. It can make me sick to smell it or eat, cook, or drink from anything that meat was in after 15 years. A vegan's stomach might be far more sensitive. No meat cooked in a vegan's home makes sense. OP was fine and, despite the update, needs to ditch the friend. I think the "embarrassing" comment regarding their house rule on food may hot deeper than a bad boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend was sorrier than the friend. I'd end a friendship if that happened to me.

[@wmdkitty]

You still don't get to control what other people eat, even if it is in your home.

[@sebastianquinchia1840]

@@wmdkitty you can't control what people eat but you certainly can stop them from making food in your home. If they wanted to eat meat, they could, and pay attention to this very carefully, go somewhere else. Same goes for vegans at another's house though, can't expect them to cater to you and make vegan meals specifically for you

[@AnymousScreams]

@@wmdkitty My roommate and his friends eat meat. My best friend eats meat. I don't care what people eat around me, but my only rule is to immediately clean or soak anything involving meat. Any meat residue on things make me sick. It's been 15 years. My roommate has a skillet for his food, and he bought it to be considerate to my diet. I never told him to do that. Just to clarify.

[@lukogs]

I'm a vegetarian. I don't do my home my rules things. I just don't eat at some non vegetarian home after i visited them once & knew how their dish would be. Like I have friends who know I'm a vegetation & cook clean meals for me, i.e. they have separate pans & utensils. I also have people who mixes up veg & non veg. For example: frying/cooking chicken/fish then frying/cooking veg foods on the same pan/oil. I don't force people to veg if in my home. Either I bring cook if they are available or order from catering/restaurant.

[@telinhajp]

Did you just Rickrolled us, Mark? 🤣🤣🤣

[@lc77713]

Story 1: NTA it’s your home and therefore your rules.