My Girlfriend KEEPS SWAPPING Out My Groceries With Miniature Versions Of Them r/Relationships

[@chickensandwich8808]

"I'm not a cat person..." Cat: I don't remember asking

[@videofan1010]

This is cats in a nutshell, lol.

[@CanyonALynn]

Exactly. Cat: That sounds like a 'YOU' problem.

[@givepeasachance7]

@@CanyonALynn Hahhaha - yes this exactly.

[@raggarbergman]

A bit like I avoid getting close to dogs due to allergy. Who do you think is the first person the dogs want to come to? When I took my bus drivers licence (Sweden here) one of the others on the cource had a puppy with her who got away. She yelled for the puppy to come but to no avail. But it came to me and i captured it for her. 😅

[@geenajean]

Exactly!!!

[@jimmygarza8896]

2: Ironically, not giving the cat too much attention is probably making the cat more affectionate. The guy is giving the cat its own space and has an "air de mystère" around him, but still gives affection when pressed. That's a recipe for a cat's love if I ever heard one.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I’ve tamed 3 feral cats with this method. Make sure they know I’m around and give them cozy spots near where I often am and mostly leave them alone. After a few weeks they turn into cuddle bugs

[@miminana-hd6nf]

that was my thought. The guy is a "safe place" for the cat. He doesn't go ga ga over the cat, will scritch/scratch when the cat needs it and is just "there". Cat found true love.

[@majo77]

Yep, when I get out of work I feel like "no touch, no talk", and it's about the time my cats get their "i wanna cuddle now" and jump on me or rub against my legs. I just move them, I'm just, nope, sorry not now. Then they sleep on me at night 🤷‍♀️

[@Sherwoody]

I grew up in a rural area and if you had a dog you just opened the door and they never ran away. Our neighbor had a collie that would bring home dead mice, snakes, rabbits and sit there proudly displaying what he caught.

[@grantkilbourne4573]

When a cat brings you things, it’s an offering to someone who they care for.

[@NottyAries]

S2: dog hated the vinegar smell. Wife hated the vinegar smell. Cat was ok with it.😂😂 The cat is the only one that loves him.

[@EphemeraImaging]

🤣🤣🤣

[@juliearmfield2634]

One of the most hilarious fails I've ever heard😂😂😂😂

[@marshawargo7238]

Regardless of how he smells! OP's wife doesn't love him as much as that cat! Wife: Don't you Dare come into this house smelling! Cat: Ooh baby, I just love sleeping on your chest, no matter how dirty or smelly you are! 😂

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Exactly!!! And then immediately went "I think you like smelly things, here! My ass in your face, I didn't wash it for weeks 😂​@@marshawargo7238

[@NottyAries]

@@marshawargo7238 Right! 😂😂

[@TonySamedi]

Mark talking about the attitude of cats reminds me of a saying I heard once. "Cats were worshiped as Gods once, and they have never forgotten it."

[@peterhobson3262]

While the cat may be the neighbor's cat, OP is the cat's human.

[@Green10002]

They still are worshiped

[@immortalsofar5314]

Terry Pratchett.

[@TonySamedi]

@@immortalsofar5314 ah that's probably it. Love Terry. I quote or paraphrase the "Boots Theory" often

[@someonebored0100]

They don’t even know we aren’t cats lol

[@flamelily2086]

When I was kid, my younger brother once replaced my Dad's fake teeth with a miniature set of dentures that he got from a Christmas cracker! My father knew who to blame, but he laughed with us, and my brother gave my Dad his dentures back. That is how a prank works! It's a little fun that is done once not repeated day after day.

[@haplessasshole9615]

But his brother saw it on TikTok, so of _course_ it was funny. Especially the part where he didn't give the food back. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, I'm just terribly amused.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: Pretty sure the girlfriend's responses are why he thought it was her. If her universal response became, "It's not me, Who else has access to your place?" he might have stopped assuming it was her.

[@Riftdancer527]

im sorry but this, and im annoyed that everyone more or less started dogpiling on OOP with the "omg why did you think it was your girlfriend???" comments like i dunno maybe cause they live together? the living situation would probably open up more dialogue about the situation like how the brother has access to his place....unless the girlfriend was in on the prank but then that would turn into a case of why then? just more questions to bring up then answers

[@tgbedini]

Yeah, I don't buy this story either. It's not 100% clear that they live together, but it seems she at least has the key. (he was making muffins at home, and she wasn't there, and he called her. Ergo she may not live there) But does his brother have a key? does she let the brother in? And why is her response to the situation, "oh, haha, you're getting pranked," and not, geez, this is kind of weird, and keeps going on.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Fr Gf is a bench for that phat comment as well

[@charondusk5608]

@@Riftdancer527 In response to the comments going after OP, that's genuinely not a surprise with AITA posts, or really reddit posts in general. Redditors LOVE making the male OPs into the villains.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: Clearly the cat paid off the vet to get OP kicked outside so they can keep hanging together.

[@NottyAries]

@@samoanjoseph1457 😂😂😂 yes! The vet is a volunteer worker at the cat distribution center.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Story 1: I thought it was weird that people said that the brother lived with him so I checked the post... turns out that the brother was visiting town. I'm kind of baffled at the thought processes of all three of them. He didn't mention if his brother stays with him while visiting, but if his brother visits every few weeks, OP should've noticed how the item swap lines up with his brother's visits earlier. This honestly makes me think the gf was in on it, perhaps swapping it a few times for the brother to throw OP off the scent. Brother only confessed when OP said he was thinking of breaking up with the gf. If I was OP, I would've immediately revoked access to his living space from the brother (probably taking any key he'd given him because he likely had given him one.) Like the other commenters said before the update, it's only a prank if the stuff was returned immediately, otherwise it's just theft. He'd been letting it go way too long.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

My immediate thought was well who else would have access to his home if not the girlfriend!?! She’s the only suspect, but then a comment about the brother. Like wouldn’t you include that bit of info in the post?

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Just had a long conversation under another comment about this. I did go to the actual post to make sure my info is accurate as can be: So to start, consider what items he said had been replaced: duct tape, coca cola, flour, sugar, tabasco. How often would you say you reach for _duct tape?_ If he found a tiny duct tape a good while after his brother had left, he may not immediately connect it to his brother but to his gf who "insists that it’s "so strange" that "random objects are shrinking in *our* home"" - as in, _she lives there._ Furthermore, it seems OP's the only one discovering the minis. If he and his gf do live together, as the comment about "our home" suggests, wouldn't it make sense for her to _also_ find some of those minis on her own and comment on it to OP? Finally, consider this: it doesn't sound as if any of the items were returned and for some reason OP's gf was okay with this. I don't know about you, but I'd be more than a wee bit miffed if I found out that my stuff has been replaced with some random plastic trinket. Like, I don't use sugar or flour or duct tape all that often, and prefer Pepsi to coke, but if I had been the gf I would've been right there with OP trying to find the missing stuff. Her only reaction was to say it was strange, which in itself is strange. So, my theory is that his gf is in on the "prank" and probably helped plant a few of the minis, considering her comments about his weight and his brother's comment that he thought it would piss OP off because he likes sweets. (Taken from a reply that OP made.) To make it less likely OP would notice the correlation between the visits and the swaps, I suspect most of the swaps would've occurred when OP's brother was about to depart, making it more likely that OP's discoveries of the minis to happen a while - perhaps weeks - after his brother's visits. Brother only fessed up when OP said he was thinking about dumping his gf.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@NotAFanOfHandles I agree, but I think with her weight comment, that she thinks he's overweight and she doesn't want to date a fat guy, so she's taking all the items that are making him gain weight. So essentially, she's regulating what he eats now! Most people who are in a relationship tend to let go a little more than if they were single. We become relaxed in the security of a relationship and don't realize we are gaining weight until one day nothing fits anymore and then the struggle is on to lose the weight. She's going about her manipulation all wrong. She should sit him down and have a discussion about how she's worried about his health, instead of taking his food. But the big question is where is his food!?! Is she giving it to a friend who is struggling with finances? Giving them to her family members? Hopefully not just tossing them in the trash. She needs to go because she's not mature enough to be in a relationship!

[@AnnMegFair]

story 2 oh no you gave him a treat after he hunted something for you! You rewarded him for the hunt! Buddy that is your cat now!

[@NottyAries]

@@AnnMegFair That's what I was thinking. He's sending all kinds of mixed signals. Then he sealed the deal by sleeping OUTSIDE! The cat was like "say less," I'll let you benefit from my presence. 😂😂

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 2: Someone is the cat's favourite special person 😂

[@MizMorgue1]

Exactly. Cats bring "gifts" to ppl they like😊

[@SorenPenrose]

He did the exact thing that I do to tame newcomers to the farm. Leave food and water around and ignore it completely. Takes about a week.

[@Peeges_]

The cat could also be bringing dead animals BECAUSE he wants to be friends. He’s either typing to win OP over, or thinks OP is a trash provider and trying to help him out lol

[@SorenPenrose]

@@Peeges_ I’ve never interpreted cats bringing food as “you can’t hunt” and I simply do not believe it. I think it’s a bit of conventional wisdom that has never been accurate. Based on the observation that this is how they interact with kittens. Two flaws: humans are not kittens, and cats that live together often share kills. I tend a feral colony, they have a spot where they’ll leave a fresh kill for others to consume. Not just kittens. They kill for fun. If they do that when they aren’t hungry, they’ll share. It’s like a reflex when a small creature moves near them. So basically no, the cats don’t assume you can’t eat. That is not nor has it ever been a reason they do this.

[@badkitty4922]

That cat definitely loves OP and is bringing them presents. My cats do it, and the neighborhood cats I interact with do it. So do my crow friends, but they leave a trinket, or something shiny. You should see my box of single earrings. 😂😂😂

[@Louves192]

Story 2 is such a tragic tale. The cat is absolutely obsessed with OP.

[@carlrood4457]

Pets have this weird way of cozying up to the person who's least interested. My wife wanted a dog. my kids wanted a dog. I didn't care either way. I like dogs, but know they're a responsibility. We got a dog. Admittedly, she's a great dog and I really couldn't imagine the past 11 years without her. There's a picture of her sleeping on my chest as a puppy. I was napping after Thanksgiving dinner. That's been our relationship pretty much ever since. She's too big to be on me, but will snuggle right up against me and gradually push closer through the night. I've almost fallen of the bed a few times.

[@SteviiLove]

So true! My dad was not a cat person yet they always wanted his attention and affection. I'm so happy I always snapped a quick picture anytime I caught him with one, especially now that he's no longer with us.

[@sarahjames4860]

When my cousins were kids, their parents got a dog. Aunt insisted on a standard poodle, uncle felt awkward and emasculated being seen with a poodle, their son was just excited to have the kind of "boy and his dog" adventures in all the kids books, their daughter was basically a feral toddler who already barked at people. Fast-forward about two years. Uncle loves the dog, and they go hiking and camping together because nobody else enjoys those things (at least, at the intensity uncle does). Dog dotes on the daughter and outright ignores the son. Aunt doesn't respect anybody's intelligence but her own, and poodles are actually really smart and perceptive so the dog low-key hates her.

[@charondusk5608]

This is how my father is as well. He's very much a dog person and claims to not like cats (In the "wouldn't willingly go out of his way to adopt one but doesn't like seeing them hurt" way), and yet, of the stray cats we've adopted over the years? He has named three of them, frequently plays with all of them, and when we brought one kitten on what was originally meant to be temporary stay (She belonged to a friend and was only meant to be staying with us until she'd recovered from being spayed, but circumstances changed and she's ours now), his immediate response was "Can we keep this one?".

[@AvyFerg]

You just made me miss my ex's dog. Only difference is that his 125lb behind would STILL climb up on me and lay on me. Permanent lap dog. And he didn't like me at first (jealous). Next thing you know, he claimed me as his perpetual pillow.

[@harleyreddragon2394]

My 150 lb Leonberger thought he was a lap dog...nope sorry buddy only your head. Sure do miss that lovable old douf.

[@tinak2576]

Story 1: anyone remember the story of the husband who over tightens the OP’s jars for creepy reasons??

[@LiveLocallyNow]

Yes and she asked neighbor for help and even they had trouble.

[@sternenblumen]

It reminded me of another story where BF was removing the GF's things, like chocolate bars she liked to take to work/school, acting as if he had no idea and putting them back after a short while. I think the GF's strange reaction in the scenario here would've made me suspicious, too. Like, why did she not say even once: "Babe, someone is obviously playing a prank here but I swear it's not me."?

[@gelasiakidd8076]

Story 3: I hope we get an update on this one. It's such an unsustainable situation. it feels like a countdown timer on an explosive for how bad it could get

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Story 1: Nothing good has come from TikTok. So many trends have resulted in breakups and who knows what else.

[@mbyerly9680]

Some of the channels are educational or funny. But I'm a grown up not attracted to stupid stuff meant for people without a clue.

[@jamesknight4945]

Story 3: NTA she needs to work on what's causing her resentment. It's not like you ignored her. Your job is what it is, and following proper safety regulations at work is very important! She should have had her mother call the company.

[@Musiyca]

See, but she has trauma related to her mother, not to therapy as OP and her are claiming. And she's still in active relationship with said mother. Wife is in a loop and blind to it, I doubt she will change.

[@ngoziagbakwu2328]

OP is a whole lot more patient than me. She's opposed to therapy so IC and MC are out. She's passive aggressive and resentful. Unless OP is leaving something out, this marriage is on a countdown...

[@NottyAries]

@@jamesknight4945 I know she's against therapy but she really needs it. I know a person that acts everything out in her head with a script that only she knows. If the day or the people don't say, react, do, etc what her script says, it ruins her day. Is it sane? Absolutely not.

[@Ospyro3em]

People need to learn what a prank actually is On that note, we have a long-running prank in our office. We have a small plastic dinosaur figure and we take turns hiding it somewhere on a co-worker's desk (different target every time, we're not targeting just one person) and seeing how long it takes for them to notice 😂

[@marshawargo7238]

My son & his two kids do the same thing with a 7/8 inch Where's Waldo stuffed doll! Anyone who finds it says something like "oh look at who just showed up" then they really take their time hiding him again. If my son should find it when they aren't there, he'll send a picture & on it goes😂 Now that I'm thinking of it, I don't think he's been seen for probably 6 months😢!

[@taylorslade961]

My exbf and I had a similar thing but with hovercrafts. We were big Metalocalypse fans. 😂😂

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: Love how people turned on OP, Like the girlfriends reaction was normal. "Strange how things in the house keeps... shrinking". Did she never once think to say, "OP, I'm not the one doing this. Maybe it's your brother?" Maybe, I'm the crazy one.

[@nathaniatan1974]

Sounds like the girlfriend thought it was OP that was doing the prank and was getting tired of making a reaction after being questioned so many times. it makes sense especially if the gf doesnt even live there. like if my friend calls me and tell me her house items are being replaced when I dont live there, I would think theyre pulling my leg and how would i know dude????

[@luciferandassociates9255]

@@nathaniatan1974 You ask questions, Like "You pranking me?" "Someone in your house swapping your stuff?" "You crazy?" "This has been happening for weeks? Someone is messing with you my dude." You don't just get accused and be like "Huh strange" and leave it especially if you, yourself, are getting annoyed by it.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Yeah, like even in the update I kinda had the impression that even if she wasn't doing it. She knew what was up. That or she's just fine with her partner getting mad at her over the prank that he's pulling?

[@Sanquinity]

@@luciferandassociates9255 Yea I'm like 80% sure the girlfriend was "in on it" in the way that she didn't say anything to OP about it after being questioned. Just watching OP get more and more annoyed by it.

[@RanDom-lk6rx]

Eh I can kinda imagine being annoyed and snapping with a snarky response to someone accusing me of this prank when the obvious answer is the brother living with you. Like I too would think the brother and op were ganging up on me if I wasn’t in on it. Don’t get me wrong he should drop her just for the weight comments. But I can imagine a scenario where she wasn’t in on it, rather she saw the obvious answer and thought op was fucking with her by not seeing the obvious answer.

[@toothless3835]

Story 1: why do people think the brother lives with OP? He never said he lived with anyone else. His brother might just have access to his house just like his girlfriend has access to his house. There was no mention of the brother or anyone else living in his house.

[@savageinkstudios2969]

S2- the cat thinks youre too dumb to feed yourself, its trying to help XD

[@Ade-t4x]

That's not why they do it, they bring them as gifts as a sign of affection

[@savageinkstudios2969]

@@Ade-t4x cut studies have actually shown that the most likely reason is that they see us as big dumb kitten that cant feed ourselves.

[@kasugaifox8571]

Yup. Also, cats think humans are big, awkward cats. 😊

[@Ade-t4x]

@kasugaifox8571 no they dont lol they are smarter than that, they dont think we cant feed ourselves, they see us eating all the time, its just a gift to show their affection for you, its as simple as that

[@kasugaifox8571]

@Ade-t4x Oh, I know they are smart as hell. Mine don't bring me dead things. They are all indoor cats. They plot crap when the lights are off. One of my cats waited until the lights were off before starting his crap.

[@aoi8653]

S1: I'd sooner believe the GF got the brother to take the fall for her. The innocent response to being constantly wrongly accused is to find the real culprit, not go "Strange how food keeps shrinking. Maybe we have house elves?"

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 3. I get that OP's wife is upset. But, she went into labor early, how could he know? He was at work. Its wasn't like he was partying in Atlantic City like my husband was. When I was pregnant with my twins everything was great. No issues in the pregnancy it was all moving along fine. My BILs birthday was coming up and the guys wanted to go to Atlantic City for the weekend. I was only 34 weeks so I told my husband to go. He left the morning of January 3rd and joked around saying I better not go into labor and I told him if I did I would hold the babies in until he got to the hospital. He was only about a 2.5-hour drive and we knew that even if I went into labor it would take hours as this was my first pregnancy. Well, guess what? At 4:30 am on January 4th (less than 13 hours after he left), my water broke. I was at the hospital at 5:15 am, and the babies decided they weren't going to take hours to come out and were born at 7:30 am and 7:40 am. My husband was out cold as he didn't get back to the hotel room until 3 am. Could he have made it in time had he picked up my call between 4:30 am and 5:30 am? Yes, but I didn't get angry with him. It happened and there was nothing we could have done to change it. I am the one who pushed him to go because I knew that within a few weeks, neither of us would have time to go out much. What was most important is that I had my wonderful MIL with me during labor and delivery and our babies were born healthy, safe, at good weights, and came home 5 days later. When we were pregnant with our youngest, my husband refused to go anywhere, he wouldn't even go to the office and worked from home. It's a good thing because I went into labor with our son at 36 weeks and I delivered him 19 minutes after we got to the hospital. I guess all our babies were just anxious to get out into the world quickly! 😂

[@marshawargo7238]

I kinda got a feeling that OP should do a secret paternity test, I think she's projecting! This baby is a month early average health & only one day in hospital, doesn't sound like a preemie, premature baby to me. Of course I'm not a professional but I have seen more than one. The way OP wrote about her attitude & actions, I think he should be worried😢!!!

[@VixLeu]

@@marshawargo7238 A baby born one month early and only an extra day in the hospital? Yeah right, I agree with you. Their lungs aren't fully developed and they need to bake a little more. My godsister and her half brother were both preemies and they stayed for at least a week or two.

[@plantemor]

The cat story is hilarious. My own dad learned the hard way that when a cat chooses you, you have no say in the matter. That's how my family went from having no cat to having a loyal cat for 17 long years after it decided my dad was the love of its life as a kitten and kept stalking him everywhere it went. My sister called me and told me we had gotten a cat (I had been at a friend's place over the weekend) and my first reaction was to be simultaneously excited and in disbelief because my dad was always the one to be like "NO CATS" when we would plead to get a cat. He was a good kitty. He ended up getting dementia and started acting really weird and scared all the time so my dad decided it was better to end his suffering than keeping him alive and confused and fearful of all things around him. The last time I saw him alive I spent many hours with him because I knew it would be the last time I saw him. I just knew. I even took a bunch of pictures and filmed him. I miss him, ngl.

[@stan8479]

That's heartbreaking. I'm sure he's resting in peace now. It sounds like he was a wonderful friend, and even made me think of my own cat, who used to follow us to school when we were younger.

[@DryPaperHammerBro]

Your dad did the right thing, as sad as it is to say. He knew the paw thing was suffering, so it was better for everyone overall. RIP.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 3:If OP was around to make it to the birth but got into an accident while on the way and couldn't make it,Would she still be acting this way? Because in this situation and this hypothetical,It wasn't OP's fault that he missed the birth. And her spamming that OP missed it instead of actual communication makes OP NTA But I recommend therapy for her whether she likes it or not

[@Girl-Supersonicboy]

My thing is that even if the labor was a surprise one, she is not actively pushing right then and there. She had plenty of time to get a phone, call his work, and have him be there. The first thing that should have been done was call him

[@Goliath_mindset]

Id be petty and when she threw it in my face Id be responding "oh right, better keep anything off the fridge, it wont be noticed". Seriously how hard is it to program an emergency line in your phone? Takes 2 seconds. Op's wife is a child. If the MIL was planning to be there, she could have planned this too.

[@TheodoreBotman]

Her only defence is if OP is lying about something, but other than that she needs to move past it.

[@sovereigncrux]

The wife has built 1.5 years of resentment against OP, but it is based on not taking any accountability of her own actions (in this case, inaction). The number to reach him was on the fridge, she never put it in her phone or gave it to the doctors. She never mentioned it to her mother, no one. The fact that OP wasn't there falls on her shoulders 100%. OP needs to get her to see this and to address the verbal abuse she has issued him for 1.5 years over this issue.

[@julierichardson800]

My husband wasn't there for our 2nd we had a childcare plan in place for 85% of the 2 weeks around due date and he came in that 15% we didn't. That was something I knew in advance was a possibility and was okay with. He was worried id resent him for not being there and honestly I'm glad he wasn't, baby needed RESUS and I think he would have been a mess. Our first was straight forward but arduous and that traumatised him. Grey floppy not breathing baby I think would've sent him over the edge (baby was completely fine just in shock from 8min delivery into a pool)

[@catnoir1333]

Story 2: the cat is bringing him food thinking that he cannot hunt for himself. That cat clearly cares for him. I had a feral cat that brought us a dead bird. It was before he had disappeared completely. He brought it as a sign of love and a thank you throughout the years we have taken care of him.

[@maniaclaugh]

My mom's cat uses dead mice as tokens for treats. She deposits the offering at the kitchen door and promptly demands her payment.

[@Swnsasy]

That's literally how my husband and I got owned by our Nadia.. We've never had a cat in our lives but we moved into a condo and got some reason this cat knew when my husband was going and coming home from work. She looked thin so my husband got some tuna and put it out for her.. 2wks later my husband yells my name and I come to the door and there's a dead mouse. I see these two ears sticking out the bush so I open the door wider and say, "come on." LOL.. She's owned us for 4 years now and it's been awesome! I never knew they play fetch, I can understand her meows too! Lol.. Husband gets home from work, she talks his ear off like she's telling on me and then flops over to give him belly!! I absolutely adore this cat so much!! She's a Tortie BTW!

[@holdfast1979]

Story 3 is so so messy. It’s a NAH initially but the wife is doing herself no favors here. What she seems to think she’s doing is getting power back. But what she is actually doing is living in that pain. She’s revisiting it without learning coping mechanisms. If she doesn’t receive help, this trauma will grow over time and she’ll burn all her bridges on the way. The child will eventually start to dislike her too. If she doesn’t get help, the wife will eventually be creating a “no one talks to me after I kept reminding my ex husband he missed the birth of our baby” post in a few years. Grim.

[@Draggonny]

Honestly this guy has more patience than me. With just a few times of her trying to use this emotional blackmail I'd be like "Okay, have it your way. I'll just go pack my stuff and you can have the final say on everything permanently". But that's probably because I was raised in an angry family that would drag up every mistake and every past argument during every argument and the arguments barely ever stopped. It's toxic as hell. And yeah, I dislike my mum too because she always used me as a pawn to get back at my dad even after they divorced and she'd supposedly moved on with a new guy. You are so right about it harming the kid.

[@grimdarkmalarkey5402]

It's one thing to switch things out for tiny versions, but it's another thing entirely if the food doesn't come back!

[@firerosenight6937]

S 2 The cat has adopted OP. The bringing of dead things is the cat hunting for OP as the cat thinks OP can't do it himself. This is adorable. Annoying most definitely, but adorable.

[@dizzysdoings]

The cat one was hilarious 😂 And I was pretty sure he was going to wake up with the cat snuggling with him.

[@eb8708]

Ugh the mini food thing Like I taught my kids, IT'S ONLY FUNNY ONCE

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

The girlfriend says "why do things keep shrinking?" and people are acting like she did nothing wrong?

[@83gemm]

She was probably playing along thinking HE was pranking HER.

[@toothless3835]

I don't even see how that's wrong. I'd probably say the same thing because I either wouldn't get it or not really care.

[@Nico6th]

@@83gemm Or she knew what the brother was doing and didn't want to get between the two brothers.

[@graceisNERD]

Had the same thought, EXCEPT, the shrinking comment is something she probably said once and OP explicitly says “she keeps denying it.” So she probably directly said “it’s not me” many times, and he wouldn’t even entertain the idea it could be someone else.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

@@83gemm Ya, .... and when the other person starts to get actually upset... she should have realized it wasn't a prank, and instead of ya know making snide remarks about weight.... realize there is an issue. Though, it's more likely she knew about it and was in for it because .. instead of having conversations about weight gain and health... she got his brother in on it like a toxic piece of gaslighter she is.

[@rebeccay480]

Story 1: tbh the "you dont need muffins" comment would set me off. That is uncalled for regardless of if she is the one pranking him or not and I would tell op to consider is she has a pattern of treating him poorly.

[@kimmywimmy7305]

The cat loves him! Better yet, the cat loves being outside and having company outside. Thinks of him as a kindred spirit. My cat is absolutely thrilled when I’m outside with him.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

Story 2: Sorry OP. You belong to the cat now. You are its minion and there is no way out. It has chosen you. You are now and forever it’s human. 😂

[@grimdarkmalarkey5402]

Cat manipulation story! Our cat, Juno, is very smart. He's not allowed on the kitchen counter, so I taught him "down!" by pointing at the floor and saying "doooowwwn. " After he gets down, I, of course, pet him as positive reinforcement . . . Which means that he's learned that if he jumps up on the counter, I'll pet him. So he'll wait for me to be walking by, then he'll hop up. After I coax him down, HE JUMPS UP AGAIN. He's also learned that if he sits on my notebook and attacks me while I do my homework, he gets put out on the (screened in) back porch. He loves going on the back porch. I got so many scratches and bites whenever I started doing algebra.

[@MrsLauraD]

He's trained you well.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Congratulations. OP was adopted by a cat! 😂

[@michaelwoods3651]

The cat likes op and is bringing them gifts. Cats see us as incompetent, clumsy hunters. She wants to feed op because he gives her treats.

[@deettekearns9092]

Story 2 - Awww. It's their love language.The kitty loves OP!!!

[@rf159a]

Story 3: Theres a divorce in the making!!

[@dimsufferer9951]

Yeah, I don't think she realizes what will happen if she keeps pulling this bs

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

She kinda deserves it. Blaming somebody for things outside of their control? Crappy. Blaming them for something they couldn't help that they desperately wanted to do? Crappier. Blaming them for something they couldn't help and desperately wanted to do when you yourself could have taken a single, incredibly easy, under-1-minute corrective action from home or hospital? Crappiest. *Repeatedly* blaming them for something they couldn't help and desperately wanted to do when you yourself could have taken a single, incredibly easy, under-1-minute corrective action from home or hospital and using it as a cudgel to guilt them in every fight, large or small, so you can get an easy win? ...somehow, even crappier than the worst, crappiest crap that ever was crapped out. I have read cases of spouses calling hitmen over less serious, less negative behaviors.

[@wmdkitty]

@@MrBrachiatingApe But it was his fault for not being there. Your wife is in labor, you move heaven and earth to BE THERE.

[@NightsShadess]

@@wmdkitty How was he supposed to know to be there if no one called his work? Telepathy? Astral projection? It's not reasonable to be mad at someone for not being somewhere when they had no idea they were supposed to be there

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

@@wmdkitty You're so wrong you might actually be crazy. Or stupid. Either way, I hope you get blamed for things entirely outside of your control because you "move heaven and earth to BE THERE" regardless of the circumstances.

[@OpticalArxenal]

Groceries are expensive now, I'd be pissed, especially when it's seemingly expended in the process and worse, not admitted to. ._. Edit: That kid needs a very stern talking to.

[@kaykay8855]

Right! Have you seen the price of eggs 🥚!

[@h.stryker5519]

"What reaction did she need to have for you to believe she wasn't behind it?" Well, NOT the sus one she had!

[@Boundwithflame23]

Story 2 Yeah that’s cats for you. I had a tuxedo boy who would carry balled up pairs of my dad’s socks around the house and he’d always meow when he’d grabbed one. I have the sound he made so ingrained in my memory I can still kind of imitate it He also loved to hide his “prey” under my parents’ bed. He’s long since crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I miss him. It’s too late OP. The cat has adopted you. You can’t escape from the Cat Distribution System

[@stephe1506]

Story one: how old are these people? Why does OPs brother have access to his house and fridge? If he does have access to the home and fridge, why wasnt he considered as a culprit? What is going on here?? 😂

[@jr5557]

Shes wrong for continually bringing that up against you like you chose to miss it. It's unfortunate, but it's the reality of the situation

[@caseyjude5472]

Petting only when asked & doing interesting stuff outside is the perfect type of human for many a cat. OP is being a purr-fect human for this cat.

[@cmsxcb]

Yeah. The real question here is "What is she doing with the food she swaps out?" Looks like a clear case of theft to me!

[@kateemma22]

Poor girlfriend? When the truth came out she immediately called him fat. She also did nothing to deny it properly. She definitely knew the brother was doing it.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: Why is it always TikTok?

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Because the pranksters have really made that their home, 10 years ago it would have been KZbin.

[@MysticMae21]

​@@fallingawayfromthenorm or vine... though thats probably more then 10 years at this point xD

[@christinesinclair6938]

Because TikTok is where idiots gather.

[@ladyofthelake93]

The vet's advice just made the cat love him more 😂

[@jessical4866]

Story 3: As the former child in this situation, when you hear your parents constantly gripe about your birth, you feel guilty. You think “if I didn’t exist, Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t be fighting right now”. OP’s wife is guilting OP but also her daughter, and OP is standing up not just for himself but his daughter too.

[@jimivey6462]

As the girlfriend covered for his brother, she was in on it and just as guilty. In addition, she made those snarky comments about his weight. Ditch the girlfriend.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Tbh I think you're right. Either OP is awful at writing with details, or the gf was at minimum enabling this while situation. I just know I don't have the patience for this crap.

[@randalhill6283]

The girlfriend is probably banging the brother and they're trying to make Opie look crazy so she can break up with him.

[@AllenTax]

Out the door for her & brother. Both can enjoy each other.

[@jimivey6462]

@@AllenTax Amen to that!

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Story 2: citrus is the way to go when repelling cats. Use essential oils, lemon juice, plant some lemongrass in your yard. You can try cayenne pepper next. For the ants, try food grade diatomaceous earth.

[@minakat369]

Cayenne pepper does work to keep animals out of your garden! I tried to get rid of the groundhogs that feasted on my veggies and herbs. Day 1: The groundhogs stayed away. But I forgot about my old cat, who loved to nap in the mint bushes. She went in for her afternoon nap and then hurried out as quickly as her elderly body could move; her loud sneezing practically shook the yard. It took my poor girl over a day to stop sneezing, so I stopped using the red pepper. Day 2: My senile cat recalled nothing of the day prior and went back for her daily nap in the mint bushes. Day 3: The groundhogs returned and ate my herbs, but the mint was undisturbed. I went to the supermarket for parsley and cilantro.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Cats will bring you dead things as a sign of love.

[@carolemoores2480]

My late cat would bring me the skeletons of his kills lol

[@bevekemi685]

i was once adopted by a local garbage cat :) she was a lovely tabby with the biggest pouch ive ever seen. her owners were pretty neglectful so when she got pregnant id let her in for some water and naps in the AC during the hot summer. she ended up giving birth to her first in a bush, then got me to come collect him, and then birthed her second in our apartment. we took care of them for two weeks before returning the kittens to the owners (per their demands) but when the kittens were old enough they tossed the firstborn outside anyway. said firstborn is now my 19lb part-ragdoll baby boy of pure muscle named frog (short for frogathan)

[@spindemissen]

To anyone who has problem with ants and don't want to use anything that could be poisonous to other animals, I would recommend getting some rosequartz stones to place where the ants shows up the most. I don't know why this works but I read it somewhere about 15 years ago, and it has never failed me since. 😅

[@Coffee_Cat7914]

Wow, that's interesting! I will try it!

[@susanbien6957]

Story #1- He is a thief. Demand he give back food, pay for groceries he stole

[@olga2023]

Story 1: how many people have the keys to your place?

[@lostshadows768]

Story 2: Simplest solution, at this point, would probably be a small, covered garbage pail, so OP doesn't have to walk down to the big cans immediately.

[@RevWarRev]

NTA - Just the title inclined me to say OP was. Wife needs to stop weaponizing OP missing the birth. Carrying this around is utterly toxic. Women have been giving birth without Dads in the rooms for eons.

[@platinum_noelle]

Oh, no. Iirc, this isnt simply the cat thinking OP cant hunt for themself. This is OP's territory, and theyre letting the cat roam on it, so i believe cats do give offerings to the ones in charge of the terriroty. It's the same reason you can feed a cat and it'll watch you eat and still bring you dead animals or leaves or whatever it can catch. This is the cat showing a huge amount of respect 😂

[@graceisNERD]

Story 1: My first instinct after learning the truth was “well why was she responding like that whenever it happened?” But thinking about, OP also said she “keeps denying it’s her.” She made one joke about shrinking, but has probably been saying “It’s not me, I’m not doing this” over and over at this point.

[@teddychu1177]

Story 1: THE BROTHER WAS A DETAIL THAT WAS NEEDED FOR THIS STORY!! ***Phew***

[@mbyerly9680]

OP never mentioned his brother living there. How was Reddit to know? On the missed birth, OP should mention how he feels about missing the birth of his first child. How it has affected him. His trauma might have been less but it was trauma.

[@frankhooper7871]

Why on earth didn't OP clarify in his first post that there was someone else living there? It's as if he wanted people to double down on the girlfriend.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 1:This is a crime,Not a prank. If this somehow isn't her being a jerkster,Secretly set up cameras (Wait,this BS is from Tiktok?!? "sigh",Humanity is devolving) Update:Ok,Cut this guy off,This BS isn't funny. It almost ruined OP's relationship

[@valgardener7656]

But what has the brother done to deserve getting cut off? It was the gaslighting that was the problem, not the prank itself. Did brother gaslight OP? We don't even know if OP asked him about it. And even if the brother did deny and gaslight, if OP knew his brother was a potential suspect and insisted on blaming his GF anyway, then he is the one who nearly ruined his relationship.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

@@valgardener7656 Brother doesn't live with OP - he was "in town visiting" and only fessed up to his "prank" when OP said he was thinking of breaking up with the gf. This had been happening every few weeks. It does not seem like he replaced the food later - aka, he _stole_ the food. He had been doing this over a long period of time. He absolutely deserves to be cut off by OP because he knew it was shitty of him (in the post OP says that his brother said he "thought it's pissed me off since I love sweets.") He either watched OP go mad over the food swap and said nothing, or he took the food as he left and just left OP to twist in the wind, trying to figure out what happened. (Edited a word.)

[@valgardener7656]

@@NotAFanOfHandles So this only happened when the brother happened to be in town, and OP still insisted on blaming the GF? What am I missing? Did OP have any valid reason for thinking GF was the only suspect?

[@tgbedini]

@@valgardener7656 And the brother, who apparently visits constantly, somehow has complete access to OP's house? Badly written, IMHO.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

@@valgardener7656 Like I mentioned in my previous comment, it's pretty likely that some of the swaps occurred when the brother was _leaving_ town. Also, consider what he listed as being swapped: duct tape, coca-cola, tabasco, flour. How often do most people reach for _duct tape?_ How long after his brother's last visit might it be before he noticed? If OP didn't find them right away but instead weeks after, it would be logical of OP to conclude that the person most often visiting, in this case the gf, was the culprit.

[@Kinsfire]

Maybe that's the way to get the point across to the wife - when she starts going after him for missing the birth, he should go off on her for forgetting to ensure that she had his number so that he could know what was happening. Make it her fault. She will either realize his point eventually, or prove that they shouldn't be together. (It sounds as if she's got some of her mother's problems as well. Always interesting that the people who know that they need therapy work hardest to avoid it for 'various reasons'.)

[@Musiyca]

Yep. Wife is traumatized by her own mother, not by therapy itself. It's just easier to blame therapy instead and keep the mother in her life. No idea how she thinks it's a good idea for her marriage nor child, but oh well. OP is at his breaking point, so if wife continues there's only divorce ahead.

[@Songbirdstress]

I'm done with "it's only a joke". I don't have a sense of humour, and it's always 1 way...

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

We lost our last cat a few years ago, however we've luckily become adopted by the neighbours 2 outdoor cats. They leave gifts on our doorstep and we are delighted. They've even learnt how to open our door and have a favourite rug to complete their ablutions. 😊

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

Wife went into labor a month early. I'd say NAH. Where she is wrong is that she's playing this as an all-inclusive blame card when it's not.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

At the start NAH now she's using it to be @busive.

[@Jesse_E5150]

Nah, she's totally being an AH. She's acting like OP missed the birth to go have some drinks with the boys. I know, it sucks that he wasn't there, but it is completely wrong for her to constantly bring that up every time they get in an argument. She needs to work on herself to get over those negative feelings.

[@InuMokuba]

Now I can only think of reddit posts of cats complaining about being adopted by humans and other cars posting "Aww your human loves you!!"❤

[@ettinakitten5047]

The cat pooping on your front door probably is trying to claim your yard as their territory.

[@LittleCatVoice]

Story 1: Mark asking about how the brother had so many miniaturized versions of the groceries and I'm all "teacher, teacher! I know!!" 😂 for anyone who doesn't know, there's an American toy company that specifically makes mini versions of all sorts of brand name items, and they're called Mini Brands. They have various types, but i believe groceries is one of the specific types of blind boxes you can buy.

[@Boundwithflame23]

I’d immediately thought of Kid Connection. The store I work at has like a 100 pack of various little mini grocery items for pretend supermarket

[@LittleCatVoice]

@@Boundwithflame23 i hadn't heard of that one before! 😄 I'm not surprised there's more than one company that makes stuff like that. Mini Brands was just the first one that came to mind when I heard the story since they specifically make brand name items and I could see that being abused for a "prank" like the one described.

[@FrankWhite-uc6gt]

1st story: Apologize to the girlfriend. Steal all the brother's stuff and hide it and deny all knowledge. 2nd story: Be glad the cat isn't insisting on moving into your house. They do that. 3rd story: NTA, but this is an unwinnable situation unless the wife changes.

[@babybookworm003]

I’d still be breaking up with the gf in story 1 if I were op

[@johnlong572]

@@babybookworm003 and whys that exactly?

[@babybookworm003]

@@johnlong572 the comments she made when making muffins

[@carolroberts4614]

So rude! And just out of the blue like that!

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

@@babybookworm003 Especially if she got mad over being blamed when she knew her comments were throwing up all kinds of false positives for aholery, guilt, and snarky non-denails.

[@july_paradox3094]

S1: it is one of those time where OP can be an unreliably narrator. I dont blame the commentors on the first post because they don't have the full context, such as if the OP has roommates or if someone else has access to the house. We can only speculate what OP gave us. I wholeheartedly blame OP for not making the connection sooner and find other suspects other than his gf that doesn't even live with him.

[@LaineyBug2020]

S2- I was once adopted by a neighborhood Calico cat at my Grandma's house. In another state. My Grandma would leave food scraps out for her. We visited 1-2 times a month. I would spend as much time as possible on the porch swing or one the patio chairs cuddling with her. She even took me to see her babies when she had a litter! We made sure to take them over to the neighbors across the street and introduced her so she would keep them over there since they had kids and would let them inside. My Grandma didn't want an indoor cat, lol. She would still come across the street to see me whenever I went outside. the funny thing is, she hated my sister and it made her so jealous! I loved her so much!

[@rilo7891]

Story 1: OP needs to break up with GF, and brother. Also OP said GF lives there, and nothing about where brother lives. So, how did commenters come up with her not living there, and brother is living there. If this is true. Then this video left some info out. Maybe some replies from OP, or something. Story 3: I am surprised OP hasn't threatened divorce. Which would be reasonable.

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: This is hilarious! 😂 I feel OP's pain though. My childhood cat had a girlfriend who used to woo him with decapitated squirrels by the back door.

[@jeaniebee3657]

i was adopted by a cat once , i was his for 17 years, he was a great cat we lost him to cancer a few years back we miss him everyday he was a flame point Siamese and he gave great kitty hugs lol

[@MizMorgue1]

S1. GF made a fat joke? At that wouldn't even care about who was messing with my groceries. She's an AH, dump her. S3.NTA. Wifey needs 2 grow up, and her excuse for avoiding therapy is lame. It's been over a year, and wifey is still whining about this?! OP didn't miss the birth on purpose, and she knows it.

[@OtisFlint]

Nah, sounds like he needs a boot in butt. His brother is taking his food and his GF made a comment about his weight, time for him to be a grown man and look in the mirror.

[@cyndib511]

Maybe she's tired of the harassment and accusations for months. Who's the bigger dick? Him definitely.

[@LaineyBug2020]

S1- Dude, she has a partner that will make Blueberry Muffins FROM SCRATCH!!!!!

[@Pintosonic]

Story 1, if there was more than one person who could have done these pranks, why was he so sure it was his girlfriend. Maybe he should change the locks of the house and give new keys to everyone except his brother and put a doll house where his key now works to see if he find it funny.

[@IrisAsuras]

Cats typically choose their people, if they choose them at all. This cat has chosen. Nothing OP can do really.

[@Peeges_]

I really hope you see this ! If the cats shitting on your porch, introduce it to fun activities on your porch ! Toys, catnip, cat treats, etc. cats will not shit in a place they have fun. Hope this helps 🫶🫶

[@CaroleHarrison-r9m]

I used to "rescue" my neighbors kitten when he escaped... One time he left me a dead mouse on my steps!

[@JMac7395]

STORY 1: the gf's comments is what likely made him think it was her. In opinion I think she knew what the brother was doing

[@fransleightholme7953]

I absolutely love story 2! One of our cats Daisy passed and on his birthday Figaro brought a mouse home which he has never done. Cats really do love people

[@Omgyoucanchangeyourhandle]

I love these light hearted stories, please keep them coming. Sometimes i take breaks from reddit stories because how negative they can get.

[@terriwetz6077]

The fact that OP in story 2 only and consistently blamed his gf without even thinking about the actual person (brother) that lives with him tells volumes about their relationship. His end of it at least.

[@Ventura574]

We have been adopted by a cat. My neighbors had been feeding a bunch of strays. One of these strays has been left abandoned by our other neighbors, after their house was foreclosed on. About a month before our little dog died, the cat that was abandoned started coming up to me and ask for pets, before she'd just get uncomfortable and run away. After our lil Lucky Mutt passed on, she didn't show up for a week or two, but then she amped up her sweetness game, and two weeks later, she was in our house. Hazel, aka Hazy Haze, aka Princess Poofy Pantalones, has been in our house and been part of our family for three months now. Never thought we'd have three cats, as it has been a two dog, two cat situation for a long time, but, here we are. When I get home from work and sit on the sofa, she sits behind my head biting and licking my hair and runs into the bedroom and hops on the bed, whenever we walk down the hall to use the bathroom, expecting bedtime snuggles. She plays with our male, Gus Gus, which keeps our cranky cat, Bassa, from getting too grumpy, as he now has a willing distraction. The big dog, Appa, is still sad that none of the cats will play with his big behind, but the cranky one will snuggle with him, and occasionally direct her terroristic threats unto him, while she grooms him. Poor old man, he looks terrified as she licks him, while growling, hissing, and smacking him for daring to move. Lol

[@JasminMernica]

Story2: Well… the non cat person has a cat now 😂 Story3: OP‘s wife needs to grow up. Sometimes it isn’t possible to make it in time. I was in hospital because I had a premature rupture and had to stay there for 4 days until my daughter was about 34 weeks. My husband went to work at 7 am and I went into labor about 8 am. My midwife and I called him during work. He drove as fast as he could and arrived 1 hour after our daughter was born. It wasn’t someone’s fault that he didn’t make it in time. She should get over herself. She had help from her mom.

[@katechiconi]

Story 1: If the OP's Australian, I know where the miniatures come from. One of our two largest supermarkets had a promotion where you could gain points and collect tiny packs of popular/iconic brands. They were tiny, plastic and useless, but it started a bit of a craze. I reckon the brother had a full set, and just kept swapping out when he saw that big bro had bought something in the full size. But I do think the girlfriend should have been a bit clearer in her disclaimer, and probably a bit less judgemental about the baking results...

[@averycheesypotato]

Good luck with that cat problem- despite what people think, cats are extremely loyal!

[@madambutterfly1997]

Usually that's an act of love if a cat does that

[@rainbowunicorn709]

Story #2: Tell the wife it's your house, and you'll do what you want. Lay down the law. Install hidden cameras in case she falsely accuses you of anything. If she plays the no adult activity until you cave, give it a week or two and then have the conversation that you want a partner, not a roommate. Before doing that, though, freeze any shared credit cards so she can't max them out, remove your portion from any shared accounts so she can't empty them, and open a new account. If that doesn't get the proper result, consult an attorney and have her served with divorce papers. Before doing that, though, stealthily move anything to storage that you would be unable to replace or upset if it got damaged, destroyed, or "lost."

[@DoomChibi99]

For the cat story, I read that if an animal does that, it's a "gift from them". Guess that cat likes OP a lot and wants to be besties (my cat did the same with his catnip toy. I think he also wanted my beans to be baked too, but I didnt smoke the herb at the time😂 I miss him so much).

[@JSainte17]

"Over 5,000 comments shitting on the girlfriend and it wasn't even her." If OP was a woman, the comments would be about her boyfriend fat-shaming her and then doubling down on it. But sure... "poor girlfriend". Not like "Wow it's so weird your stuff is shrinking." is the guiltiest response I can think of.

[@littleylvis]

We have a neighborhood cat that has adopted the whole neighborhood. It always craves attention and we all give it to it. The only negative thing is that it spies on us, and if we are not careful, it will bolt right into our apartment and hide under the bed.

[@kardellious]

It made us giggle when he made everything worse by giving it a treat. Up until then y'all were friendly neighbors after that the cat was, "Heh... I knew you liked me.😎😏"

[@fred_derf]

It's one thing to blame you for missing the birth because you were watching the game, but blame you for missing the birth because you LITERALLY didn't know it was happening is something else.

[@Love2Banime]

S1: if it wasnt her, the (possibly ex) gf could've said, "it wasn't me" instead of playing along. If she knew it was her brother doing the pranks, could've just said it when OP confronted.