my hodgkin's lymphoma has relapsed, 2 years later.

on november 28th, I found out that my hodgkin’s lymphoma has relapsed.
after my last treatment, there were still cancer cells in my body. such small traces that they were undetectable. they stayed quiet for a while, but started growing in the past six months.
i truly can not believe that I am here, posting this. I’ve had weeks to process, but I still have so many questions. why now, why me. why can’t I be healthy. after 2 and a half years of healing. I knew it would always be something that would be with me.. but not like this. my heart hurts. I truly hate cancer more than anything in this world.
I’ve been through every stage of grief, and now I am just numb. i’m hanging in there, trying to focus on the good, as I always have. but it’s been hard. I truly thought that if I was faced with it again, that I couldn’t do it. but I have to. I have to fight for this beautiful and wonderful life I have created since the last time.
I really don’t need anything, not right now. I just need to be healthy. last time, I appreciated all the love and support so much, but I need people to not reach out right now. not today, not right this minute. i’m still trying to process everything myself. i’m taking it one day at a time. doing every little ounce of self care I can do before starting again.
some videos I want to share, just for some more information (yes, they're all done by hank green who just explains things so well):
talking about relapse:
• Remission
what to buy a cancer patient:
• What to Get for a Canc...
thanks for bein here.
love, kam
💌
ig: kamschalk
tiktok: kamschalk

[@joshfreedman3558]

Recurrences happen. Mine did after 6 months. 31 years later im still here and good

[@sharondavidson7412]

What kind of cancer?

[@joshfreedman3558]

@@sharondavidson7412 same Hodgkins lymphoma

[@soroushdarvish9281]

Hamdullah

[@mohammaddado5073]

What king of treatment you had for the relapse ?

[@palofthepaw]

Hi there! Long term HL survivor. I was first diagnosed in 1990. I was stage 2 it was only in my chest and neck. The treated me with high-dose radiation and part of the protocol then was to automatically remove the spleen even if there was no sign of cancer in it. They radiated that area too. I’m told that they don’t even do that today, but the reason they did was because HL will most likely return if it does to the spleen, and back then, it was harder to treat. 2 years later, when I was 27yo. It returned. This time stage 3 near my groin. That time they gave me high-dose chemotherapy for 8 months. It was hell, but I survived. I’m now 58 years old and lived a wonderful life, normal life. It never returned. My Dr. told me just look at it like we just didn’t get it all, but we will this time! 30 years cancer free! You got this!! 🙏🏻❤️

[@toddc6682]

Cancer is killing way too many people, you are very lucky 💪 Did you change your diet after during/cancer?

[@PianoMan-hx3ev]

💯

[@stburow]

My heart absolutely sunk when I saw the title, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm a BMT nurse & I just want to say that your videos help me gain perspective - thank you for your vulnerability. There are so, so many incredible people (like yourself) who have had a stem cell transplant and are out there thriving and kicking ass. You can do this.

[@mhudson9952]

I am so so fucking sorry. I can’t believe it. We were pretty much both diagnosed at the same time, we’re the same age but I had stage 3 Hodgkins and you were a few months ahead of me in your journey. Your uploads helped me through every step of the way, I felt less alone, especially as it was during the pandemic. When you finished treatment your videos gave me the strength to carry on, now I’m two and a half years in remission. I’m devastated for you Kam. Fuck cancer. Sometimes is easier to talk to strangers about tough things, my dms are always open to you. Sending all my love x

[@lenaLOVEart]

I am really sorry kam :( u got this and we are here for you!

[@KiaraMadisen]

I’m so frustrated & angry for you. You’re NEVER a burden. Here for you always, can’t wait to give you a big hug 💓

[@KiaraMadisen]

& I’m always your friend first, but if you ever have questions about transplant, you can ask me & I’ll answer whatever you need to know without any unsolicited advice ❤️

[@MrMaddox57]

deepest prayers and a survivor. Keep the strength and the faith. Miracle happened for me, it can happen for you as well. We are with you, power through and be YOU!

[@noemifitzpatrick6039]

I too was GRANTED A MIRACLE ✨🙏✨

[@LStottmann]

I am so so so sorry to hear this news. Although I only “know” of you through KZbin, you have been incredibly resilient. You’ve built an amazing life and still have one and can be proud of only yourself for that. There are no words but I am praying for you, and you’ve got this.

[@littlemissshihtzu]

My heart hurts for you! You are young and beautiful and in the prime of your life - in a perfect world this wouldn't be happening to you. I think you are doing the right thing by sharing your thoughts and feelings. You will undoubtedly help someone else in the process. This also allows others to hope, pray, and send out as many positive thoughts for you as the universe can withstand! You aren't alone. Sometimes we all need reminders that people truly care. Hugs to you sweet Kam. 💞

[@brynleecowley]

Aww sorry to hear this Kam. You’re so strong and helping so many people through sharing your story!! Hoping and praying for the best! 🤍🤍🤍

[@michellerovedatti]

Stay focused on the goal! You got this ❤ I am battling my second cancer dx in three years so I know it’s easier said than done but seriously do your best to stay positive. No one deserves this horrible disease 😢

[@heidi1651]

I’m so sorry this is happening again Kam. Sending love and prayers your way! ❤🙏

[@lllukaaas1205]

Sending you all the love Kam ❤

[@samskidoodle4768]

Oh, Kam. I don’t know what to say except that you are an inspiration. I’m just so sorry you’re having to confront this again. Thank you for sharing if only so we can try to support you with healing thoughts from afar. Sending you and your family much love. Until we can have that coffee in London - big hug. 💞✨ xxx

[@amyshields7790]

I’m so sorry to hear that your cancer is back. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings. I am new to your channel but appreciate you sharing. I am sending you lots of positive vibes and prayers! Stay strong!

[@rouxbeatrice7121]

Good luck kam, you got this and you'll get through it. You helped me a lot with your vids when I had cancer as well (at 21 too) so thanks. Dissociating is totally normal, but take care of yourself and please don't feel like a burden. it's not a burden for your family and friends to help you out, they want to be there for you so don't refuse the help.

[@clairekraus284]

Praying for you hard. For health, strength, hope and more! You got this💗

[@NO-pw6cu]

So sorry to hear this! New to your channel! Praying for full healing and a quick recovery! Sometimes things just make no sense. You've got the full healing power of love surrounding you! Love heals. Believe that!

[@lindsayann9856]

My heart breaks for you…. Sending you lots of good vibes and love your way.

[@mckenziesolinger7917]

I’ve been following you since the beginning of your journey, so watching this broke my heart. You’ve beat it once and you’ll beat it again. Sending you all of the love, prayers and good vibes 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[@yleniaiva]

I wish you the best ❤️ just went through treatment for lymphoma and your videos were the first that I saw when I was diagnosed. They helped me a lot. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

[@misslovejoy1665]

I am really sorry about this awful news. Life can really suck. Sending love and prayers, you got this!

[@ratlanticocean]

Sending positive and healing vibes. We fell sick at around the same time and have been through recovery and relapse, so I feel some sort of connection to you. I'm a friend of your friend Cassidy's (we lived in Kiev at the same time). If you want to talk I am here. x

[@MightyMicrobiology]

I've been following your journey ever since my own HL diagnosis in Feb 2022, your original chemo journey helped me massively going into it. Wishing you strength and good outcomes x

[@mssmith9227]

Praying for a speedy recovery ❤

[@sakuram4908]

sending you so so much love !!

[@Hopefuldreamss]

Sending you so so so much love!!! ❤❤❤ We are here with you!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

[@jessicabellone913]

I’m so sorry to hear this Kam. I’m sending you so much love and support ❤🙏 You got this. You are your own best advocate. We are here to support you and lift you up during this difficult time.

[@madmousetales]

I’m so sorry kam 🥺❤

[@emilyhendrix1709]

i feel lucky to know you kam! you’re so strong and i’m praying for you every step of the way🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@3izzy0]

You're such a warrior. Don't forget that. Sending you all the wishes for health and a speedy recovery. You got this!

[@Mattgetzoff11]

im so sorry. we are all here for you throughout everything

[@kate3460]

So sorry to hear that you’re going through this again. I don’t blame you for being angry. Sending positive thoughts and vibes your way…

[@bianca1983-]

Praying for you .. speedy recovery

[@palmyrapilato7256]

Sending you prayers for healing and comfort.

[@RobertHansenRob]

Hi Kam. I have been thinking for hours what to say, but I have no words really. Thank you for letting us know. I wish you all the very best battling the journey ahead. Rob

[@Lisamarievalerio]

Praying for you beautiful! Words can’t even express how amazing and strong you are.

[@consonyastovall5858]

I'm so very sorry. Praying for peace and complete healing ❤

[@urbsoapco5489]

This popped up on my feed. Your feelings are very valid, all stages of grief and anger. You seem like such a strong person, I hope your treatment goes well. Take care and love from the UK. Xxx

[@cw9452]

Sorry to hear that Kam, sending you love, strength and support, you can do this.

[@thelittlestbuddha]

Oh Kam I am sending you so much love 🩷 You have been so heavy on my mind. I wish I had the words. I have been here since the beginning of your first journey and I’ll be here for this one. I’ll continue to send you soooo much love and can’t wait for the day when you come here again and say you’re cancer free! You’re such a sweet soul. You’ve helped so many including me ❤

[@weronika1171]

I am so sorry 😢 Sending you lots of love ❤

[@marjilaplante9579]

I'm so so so sorry😞🙏 sending love and light to you

[@clintdelcambre8683]

So very sorry that you are having to go through this. Will be keeping you in my daily prayers!

[@marydee9946]

Thank you for sharing your story , you’ve touched so many lives ❤️.

[@dionnetoal3444]

You are so young! Life is so unfair at times! I'm so sorry your going through this again, keep positive and fight this. Wish you all the luck in the world, you got this 💜

[@Lendargarda]

Good luck kam, you got this and you'll get through it

[@msaunsha]

Oh honey. I’m so sorry. 😢I stumbled across your channel and pray that all goes well. I understand your pain, as I supposedly beat breast cancer 13 years ago, and now dealing with a recurrence of the terrible disease. I’ll send up prayers for you as you go through this journey again. Keep your head up beautiful. 🙏🏽💕

[@emmabooth6328]

I’m sorry you’re going through this again Kam. You are in my thoughts and prayers

[@anneanne6077]

Thank you honey here I am complaining about little things in life and losing my mind over little things and here you are fighting for your life thank you for bringing me to my senses I was literally just going through a really rotten situation mentally where I'm about to rip my hair out and then I ran into this video and it totally wakes one up shakes one up to one's reality which isn't that bad 😢😢😢😢 Praying for you sweet angel you're so young 😢😢

[@hannah.s]

Sending you love, Kam. Silent follower here but you’re a dope person and I’ve always admired you. You’re strong, it shines through all of your videos. ❤️

[@LadyJaninka98]

oh Kam, i’m so sorry you have to go through this again. sending thoughts and prayers your way! ❤️‍🔥

[@aileenbonczyk7593]

You got this Kam,you are so positive,even with this new treatment...Keep up this attitude,your support system got your back....God bless I am praying for you....❤

[@citruscinnamoncorina]

i love you! i love you! i love you!! i am praying that your spirit gets nurtured and cared for in this season of life! we are aching with you ♡ peace be with you ♡

[@samuelmoreno4971]

I'm really sorry to hear the bad news. You're very brave. Wish you the best in your recovery!

[@reecee2488]

Sending you positivity & healing. Sorry to hear this.

[@rachelgrossmann2652]

I am so sorry. Your videos were such a light for me during my treatment and this video completely breaks my heart. You can do this!!! You are strong. You are beautiful!!!

[@Faithelizabeth25]

Kam I’m so so so sorry you are having to deal with this shit again. Your videos bring me so much comfort and I am so grateful for the space you have created on KZbin. I’ll be thinking of you and manifesting good health for you 🤍. Sending you love and strength

[@whitneyodenwald4806]

I’ve been following your journey since the beginning You are a beautiful soul and inspiration. A dear friend had a stem cell transplant in hopes of curing lymphoma. He is now 6 yrs cancer free and living a healthy life. I will pray that your journey is the same. Never forget the positive influence you have had on so many. Stay strong, beautiful girl 💗

[@rebeccagangi4228]

Praying for you! 🙏🏻

[@lauraladhams5328]

My heart is broken for you. Such an inspiration 🤍

[@AnaMariax]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen your videos before- but my heart has broken for you. I know you can do this ❤️

[@edits_cause_im_lonely]

I'm so deeply sorry sending prayers for you❤

[@calicat1996]

Oh kam, i am so sorry. I found you during covid soon after you were first diagnosed, i watched all of your vlogs through chemo and was cheering you on from behind my phone. It has made me so happy seeing your videos of you living your life to the fullest the last couple of years and putting the cancer behind you, i am so sad for you that you have to go through this again. You have such an incredible support family online that will be with you every step of the way whether you share your journey again vis vlogs or not. Youre in my thoughts, sending so much love. *hugs* you are truly a warior

[@holliethomson6147]

Hi, iam so sorry you're having to go through this 😔 I'm sending you so much love and positive healing prayers xxx🙏❤

[@jenlef9444]

Thinking of you and sending you positive and healing energy ❤

[@Hello-ze1sd]

Sending you so so much love and hugs I’m so so sorry for everything you’ve been through and are going through 💕💕💕🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@jennaknowles5470]

I am so sorry - I’ve watched you from the beginning and have loved seeing you better and living your best life - the universe is not fair that’s for sure ! Sending you all the love

[@aiden-cz3ss]

im praying for you my love, my heart stopped when i saw this title. ❤

[@xtina3103]

This is heartbreaking. I am so very sorry and sending you all the love in the world.

[@numberone22459]

Your youtube family loves you so much and we are supporting you every step of the way! You will get through this again❤

[@rosemaryroutte7379]

I am so sorry to hear this news. Sending you my prayers for healing.

[@brooklynemily]

I’m so sorry! Sending a big hug and tons of love!

[@MargotLee]

oh sweet girl i want to give you a biiiig old hug. sending you so much love and healing energy ❤

[@rhondagage8527]

Oh my … I am sooooo sorry and it really is so maddening! It just SUCKS. Sending prayers of mercy and gods hand of healing guidance be with you and your family .

[@skiyogagirl]

I am new to your channel and I am so sorry. You are processing. You are identifying how you are feeling. It sounds like you have an excellent primary care dr. and oncologist. I am so glad you are talking to a therapist. Also, it is great they are doing the egg retrieval. Sending you a big hug! 💛🙏🏼💪🏼

[@laurienorris9407]

I am so sorry you are going through this. My daughter and I watched your videos after she was diagnosed with HL at 27 years old. It helped so much! Holding you up to the light and sending healing energy your way!

[@cristinaortiz2755]

I’m praying for you stay strong

[@loch7515]

My heart breaks that you are going though this again. You are in my thoughts- sending healing energy your way.

[@justthegoodbits1]

My son in November before thanksgiving received the all clear cancer free after so much trauma and sickness with having Hodgkin Lymphoma. I have been so happy but the fear of it retuning has been a constant with me. Sweetie my heart goes out to you and I’m praying the treatment isn’t terrible and you remain cancer free forever this time.

[@peggymcaninch9672]

Sending you so many positive vibes. I went down the same route with 2 months of Pembro +GVD and then BEAM + stem cell transplant. You can do this!!

[@mariamkhalil62154]

I’m so so sorry❤️ so much during this time! Stay strong love!! You got this!!!!

[@_rizzalba]

brooo 🥺🥺🥺 i haven’t been watching for a bit and just now decided to check back because u were honestly a huge part of my lymphoma journey! i started treatment around the time you finished and this channel was a huge comfort. i remember not wanting to get up during chemo days and having to put on your videos almost as a way of gently hyping myself up. (ur videos are very calming but they also made me want to get through chemo) this isn’t ur first lymphoma journey but i still very much wish u have what i had with ur videos then.

[@Sarahxxxxxxx]

I’m so sorry 😞

[@priyahemmady8254]

Keeping you in my prayers dear. Praying for ur highest good in all areas of ur life💚

[@pubesinteeth7049]

Stay strong girl.

[@sylviarogier1]

I'm sorry to hear this. 😢

[@barbc.3093]

Kam, I'm so sorry to hear about this horrible situation you're in. I followed you on your last battle and you really amazed me about how strong you were and still are! I'm a medically retired Oncology RN and I loved what I did because I felt I was caring for the most amazing and strong people. The only thing I would like to mention is, ask your Dr if they have a machine at their facility that would allow you to use your own Stem cells. My Nephew was able to do it and it really decreased the possibility of rejection from a donor. (not very often it happens, ie:rejection that is) I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and I know you got this! ❤ ❤ Sending much love and hugs from Michigan 🙏🏼🤗🥰

[@kelleybondzio168]

Kam, Sending you huge hugs and tons of love!!! 🙏🏼🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@jeanlewis7379]

I have just seen this and want to send you healing wishes and get better ASAP.

[@michelledrummond1264]

Hi Kam. I feel for you so much! I have just recently received a relapsed follicular lymphoma diagnosis, after being in ‘remission’ for 4 years. I feel your anger, disbelief and disappointment. As you say, it all feels so surreal. I went for my 3rd bone marrow biopsy yesterday and am awaiting the results. Thinking of you so much and keeping you in my prayers 💕. Hang in there!

[@kimpeterson8090]

❤❤❤

[@p.r.4285]

Kameron, everything will be fine!! YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN!! Remeber always your force! Big Kisses.... 💪🌹🌹🌹

[@jasminelindsey]

Oh, Kam. I’m so sorry that this is happening. I’m a silent viewer but over the years you have definitely inspired me. I’m sending positive thoughts to you and your healing ❤

[@ree.eatscheesecake]

Same...I was so devastated when I saw the words...I'm so sorry Kam, everyone's here 🫶🏼🫂

[@Hikari_28]

I pray to god for your full recovery and healing ☹️💔

[@BiancaL79]

Fuck. I am so so sorry. Just can't believe it is happening to you again. I was diagnosed with HL at the end of 2022 and went through treatment until the middle of 2023. You and your videos helped me so much. You gave me hope and I felt like I could beat it too. So I just want to thank you and send all my love and support for you. It sucks so much, but I am sure you will get through it like a pro and beat cancer for good. You did it once, you can do it again. Lots and lots and lots of love.

[@nelsonpatel8624]

I wish you the best in health and I hope get cancer free soon. Merry Christmas!

[@oliviastern6644]

So sorry to see this update. Big prayers going up for your mental and physical health. Hope you are able to enjoy the holidays as much as you can.

[@luketurner1655]

Your sharing made me cry - I’m a colon cancer survivor and cannot imagine going through all that again. My heart breaks for you - please know I carry you in my prayers. I hope you feel some comfort or support from this community.

[@Sedgies]

I’m so sorry sweet girl. I’ll be praying for you. ❤

[@TheEdenn]

My heart breaks. I followed your story during chemo and I am so sorry. 😢