My Husband Told A Friend He Was Out With His Little Sister r/Relationships

[@lauracottom7425]

First story: You need to report that B and get rid of the husband. Get him out of the house. Letting him stay in the home apartment is not a good idea. Check your state laws.

[@SherriLyle80s]

First story: report her to the daycare facility manager asap! She is wrong!

[@emilybarclay8831]

S1: OP’s ex’s mistress is gonna move onto the next hot dad in a few months and he’ll come crawling back to OP crying about how he made a mistake

[@WobblesandBean]

Lol yup.

[@smellyface28]

13 years younger... yeah she's not sticking around. Can't wait for him to drop everything for her only for her to turn around and cheat on him.

[@macylouwho1187]

Lol all of the older man/younger wife relationships in my area are like this 😂. Eventually younger wife hops on some hot younger man’s penis and rides it off into the sunset while the older man is like “wait! My young/dumb/full of c-m” arm candy just ran off! Whhyyyy? I don’t understand!” 😂😂😂. Ohhh honey, it was never about you to begin with. It was about financial stability, silly. You were a walking wallet to her, nothing more. Eventually all the crap you can buy her doesn’t fill the void of what really makes her the happiest, and she finds out that all that glitters is not gold. And monetary things are only fun for a little while before you start taking them for granted and they bore you. It’s just crap collecting dust. Like her sexuality and desire while living with you, just sitting there collecting dust 😂

[@Maya-iz9fx]

I would have texted the ex being friendly ask about stuff as i need to understand to move on Then text mistress same way Next a huge fb post with screen shorts and report to the school Will use same Information in divorce alimony and child custody case I would have ruined them both

[@cardwitch91]

With any luck someone reports her. It’s creepy that she’s taking care of that kid at work and the dad brought her around him because it that. Frankly, she ought to lose her career for letting it get to this point. As for the husband, he can go to hell. People who think that cheating isn’t bad unless there’s sex involved are just lying to themselves. But whatever - she’ll leave him in the dust the moment another, hotter man comes along.

[@wolfwhistlewoowoo6297]

Ugh, idiot husband hitting up the preschool teacher is so YUCK. Imagine being his son and having an AHA moment in a few years: Dad cheated on Mom with my preschool teacher and took me out on secret dates with her.... yeah, way to go Dad.

[@JSainte17]

I love that you pin it all on him, when she knew better as well, and it didn't occur to you that maybe the woman made the first move? They both suck, but your phrasing makes it as though she is a victim. She is not.

[@justinaalexa8566]

@@JSainte17 It doesn't sound like they are making her out to be the victim, just pointing out the ICK factor and sliminess of the husband. Also, her making the first move means very little in the grand scheme of things imho

[@Maya-iz9fx]

Can that fact help in child custody?

[@mindingmybusiness3915]

@@Maya-iz9fx judge gonna field day with this one. If the spouse cheats they gonna have hard time winning the case in child custody and definitely gonna pay child support. He gonna pay for cheating as well.

[@Maya-iz9fx]

@@JSainte17 Making the 1st move mean nothing If You're in a committed relationship it Doesn't matter if all the women in the world make moves on you You remain loyal if you wanna remain loyal Also if my partner cheated i will blame him Not the other woman ( unless they are related to me or my friend) What the mistress did was wrong bt she Didn't promised me loyalty He did

[@TTtiger373]

Story 2 made me immediately go to eBay and buy a duplicate of my childhood bear. Rather surprising how many mint condition 1994 doodle bears there was available. Best 30 dollars I’ve ever spent.

[@abbie_joan]

omg a doodle bear...I had one when I was younger and I loved it

[@hanananah]

I'm right there with you I'm seriously considering buying a glow worm 😂

[@shadowkissed2370]

I am in the search for my boy's Christmas bears. We lost them in a fire and I really wish we had put them in storage with anything else before the fire.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: “we never had sex” okay, how does that matter? You went around with her in public where people who know you and are ACTING LIKE A COUPLE. You brought this woman around your child (yes, she’s his daycare teacher, but OP is also unaware that she’s around her son during personal time). The fact that you didn’t sleep with her doesn’t make it better. You still still humiliated your wife in a way where people, including your own son, saw you cheating.

[@whitneybennett5076]

Exactly. Has OP's husband never heard of an emotional affair, because that's what this is exactly, and just as bad as if they were having sex all the time (Not that OP should take him at his word that they're not already physically intimate.). I'm worried about how OP is going to be able to prove the daycare worker is screwing around with her husband, because if OP just goes and tells one of the higher-ups, they could just blow her off as being a petty woman who's just trying to make someone lose their job. What this woman did is horrible. Not only is it illegal and wrong in general, but they basically used the child as an unwitting accomplice to their affair, since they now had a good excuse to be around each other more and knew he wouldn't have realized something was going on.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@whitneybennett5076 she can ask her neighbour to back her up with the daycare thing. I don’t know if it would work, but I think it’s worth a shot, especially if this woman is husband hunting with her students’ parents.

[@ResidentMilf]

Ugh, I really hate people who "technically didn't cheat." There's no such thing. You cheated. Stop trying to justify it.

[@AtomicPuffin]

Also how tf does anyone expect that line to be believed!? I hate how they think that makes it better too. Like u already lied so much u expect OP 2 believe anything at this point!?

[@umustbkrayze]

Story 1 needs to report her , get her fired and notify all parents that bring they children there for care and take her child to somewhere else for childcare

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Stuffed animal mom Okay, I get it and stuffies tend to be super special and emotional, but hand illustrated cookbook of family recipes. That's an heirloom in the making.

[@jewmaicanmessianic1649]

Granted...heirloom and all, but there are some really weird dynamics going on here. Mom has been making some bad decisions regarding this child for a while. I don't doubt that she was well meaning, nevertheless... She said the child was two years old when they came into each other's lives, and she was the only person this child knew as mom, yet this young person has been undergoing therapy because of bio mom's suicide? Give me a break! How many people recall much of anything enough to internalize it at 2yrs old so much so that they will need therapy later? This tells me that the parents didn't shield the child enough from trauma. And as for waiting to get the child's permission to adopt is ridiculous since the child always saw her stepmom as mom. Goodness gracious! Don't tell me those parents tried to explain suicide to the little girl and made an effort to keep bio mom's memory alive in a way that made this child feel in some way responsible for the choice of this troubled woman? Cause, those are the only reasons I can think of why a child who lost a parent when barely a toddler would need therapy because of it years later. Something smells fishy here!!!

[@cu-8190]

@@jewmaicanmessianic1649 she obviously loves her daughter and has had her best interest in mind. i feel like this was an honest mistake, especially after the information in the comments. also, the loss of a parent even at that age can surely be recognized as the loss of comfort and could be a factor in abandonment issues, subconsciously or not. establishing healthy values/mechanisms can be of help to anyone. while op definitely made a mistake here she was able to talk it out with the daughter which shows that they communicate well with each other. misunderstandings and misjudgments can happen, but as long as communication doesn't cease there is a possibility.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@cu-8190 honest mistakes tend to be corrected shortly after being made not 16yrs later when you finally realized your screw up because their time has passed.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

I would ABSOLUTELY report that teacher. Ruin her career. If she is the teacher, there's no way she didn't know she was seeing a married man. Also nuke his job by reporting him using company time/resources for an affair.

[@selinakyle_]

S1: Once Op ruins him in the divorce he’ll come crawling back 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Because had Op not grown suspicious...he’d never have left her! Trust me this fling won’t last lol

[@nightdweller6446]

1st Kudos to the actual friend who "mentioned " the little sister story to OP. That is a friend you keep. Throw the husband away.

[@naturalbaby]

OP 1: STD test because yes they have slept together. 2: Report that 5 letter word and get her fired.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - if OP wants to check if he face timed his mistress at work, contact the company he works for, they will not be happy if he was using company time and equipment for private reasons. And if he did she might also get him fired even better. But definitely get the mistress fired even if she has to go to the daycare at drop off and collection yelling to all the mums to be careful point at the mistress and tell the mums what she has been doing with OPs husband. They will get rid of her before they loose more clients.

[@hothotheat3000]

He absolutely cheated physically.

[@pansprayers]

Or not. Doesn't really matter, though. OP doesn't need you adding hystronics to an already aweful situation.

[@onnas5610]

Yup cheaters think that by lying and saying this it'll ease some of their guilt and make the other person less angry/hurt.

[@onnas5610]

@@pansprayers um if he's lying (which he likely is) then op should go get checked for a std. So it really does matter.

[@ResidentMilf]

@@VenusLily While they're definitely misusing the word histrionics, they're right that it doesn't matter whether he boffed the mistress. I also believe that he did, but it's irrelevant. The definition of cheating is not "sex".

[@TheLilyMustang]

Story 2: people asking why didn’t you adopt her for 10 years because it is effing expensive. Even with no push back from a bio parent and in my case a bio parent that is telling lawyers, judges, everyone that they agree bc it is the best for the child. How do I know because I went through it. My husband adopted our son and it has cost over 10’s of thousand of dollar. My ex/son’s bio dad agreed & even sheepishly suggested because he lives in a different state, my husband has been in our son’s life since the beginning, he knows my family is toxic & scared they might sweep in to take my son if something happened to me and many other things. My ex and I are friends, his wife and I are friends, and even my husband is friendly with them but it was still 10’s of thousands of dollars. It was actually kind of funny because our lawyer was questioning us at first like “does the bio dad know” “will we get yelled at when we call”. I just end up calling him & answered me & friendly as always. We also had home visits & office visits with CPS. Lots of court hearing. All during school & office hours which almost caused my son to have to repeat kindergarten for the amount of days missed. All the adults have no criminal recorded and really good jobs but still we were under scrutiny with multiple background checks. We were all questioned & relatives questioned. So with everyone being questioned repeatedly & the general stress with that & financial stress the whole family needs to be ready. The other person who brought up the adoption was my 20 yr old step daughter who was worried because I was missing my mom who moved out of state & over heard my grandmother offering me houses/money to move too. So other children in the house will need to be emotionally ready for the process. It is so hard to do an adoption and it is so expensive. I respect them waiting to get the daughters okay and I also ask my son if he wanted it as well as a last name change, although he had my last name & we cut off my paternal family a couple years back. Money, time, child’s feelings, the family as a whole emotional health needs to be thought of because it is a difficult process.

[@robynedmonds7300]

Her coming to you crying because she saw her mama being bashed. You 2 have a bond that will be there forever.

[@noreensanchezmurphy]

I have never commented on any of these Reddit stories, though I’ve watched many. This was by far the best I’ve ever experienced.

[@B_Mama_Reads]

Has any one ever told you that to a blind woman your voice sounds like honey? Lol love your stuff! ❤️

[@shootingcomet082]

Story 2: OP's the AH. Like she said, she could've done something similar for her when she first adopted her. I think it kinda says something that this was an important enough tradition to her that she planned for it before her kids were even born and made sure to keep track of the secondary stuffed animals for all those years and give it to the kids at their graduation, but it didn't cross her mind when she adopted her daughter, or in all the years since then. If she cuddled the stuffed animal from her departed child, then at some point it should've made her realize she didn't continue this tradition with her adopted daughter. And at very least, when she gave her bio kids their stuffed animals, it should've made her realize that this would be an issue when her adopted daughter graduates. I think that in all the years since adopting her daughter it never even crossed OP's mind, despite the importance she placed on it and the multiple reminders does indicate that she doesn't see her adopted daughter as, as much of her kid as her bio kids.

[@oliverspencer2411]

First story, the commenter who said you don't leave a marriage if your affair hasn't gone physical is at least half right , but i suspect thats why the husband didnt outright break off the marriage. My money is on that he was still getting his physical fix from OP, hense why he didnt break it off himself. He wants things kept civivl in par to protect himself

[@brittalex42]

Would never have thought of this myself. Thank you

[@ResidentMilf]

I feel like in a day and age where effective birth control and prophylaxis exists, and polyamory also exists, sex is a pretty arbitrary point to consider it cheating. Everyone keeps wanting to classify this as an "emotional affair," but to me, there's no distinction between an emotional or physical affair. If your partner isn't ok with it and/or you have to hide it, it's cheating, period. That means if you have an open marriage, full-on banging someone else is not cheating, but if you promised your spouse you'd go see the new Batman movie with them and then go see it with someone else, that IS cheating.

[@kittylovesfilms]

Wishing You Well Markee Thank You For your Reddit readings. They are a staple in my daily life. May you be well this weekend Markee 🌞

[@shauxuhrwilsongrim]

Wait, wait, wait. "How much younger does she have to be for him to introduce her as his little sister?" ... About nine months. Any sibling younger than you can be called "younger sibling" or "little sibling", unless things are way different where that commenter is from.

[@Lroselovely88]

Op clarified that the affair partner is 13 years younger. Also, if you're that close in age, why clarify to an acquaintance who is younger?

[@morphinpink]

​@@Lroselovely88 this. realistically in a real life context no one goes out of their way to say "little" if they don't have a big age gap. imagine being a 40 year old and introducing your 39 y/o sibling as "my little brother/sister". Nah, you do that if you're an adult with a significantly younger sibling.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Husband is called the baby in his family, he's older then me. And a lot of his siblings are only a year or two apart.

[@pansprayers]

@@morphinpink maybe in your case, but no. I'd hazard to say that you're in a minority on that thought process. I have six half siblings that, between all of them, the age gap is between three minutes and eight MONTHS max. You bet your ass they emphasize who is older/younger. I emphasize that my youngest siblings (brothers) are younger siblings because I'm old enough to be their teenage parent. So, no, your trying to apply your very subjective, one off experience as universal.

[@morphinpink]

@@pansprayers Maybe it's a regional or cultural thing. I never think to introduce my sister as "little" and I'm four years older. But if I said "I'm going to my cousin's birthday party" I do think most people will assume we're about the same age even though I'm almost 20 years older, but if I said "my little cousin" you'd be cued that there's a significant age difference. Again, maybe that's just cultural. I just don't think of calling people in my age range "little".

[@margaretkowalkowski5653]

I hope that his wife will report her to the school and take everything from him what a jerk!! She will leave him when she finds some one better than him I hope there is an update to story 1 thanks Markee have a great weekend!!😊😊❤️

[@samalvarez8776]

That first story is incredibly sad 😔

[@shammydammy2610]

What kept you from buying another pair of stuffed animals at a different store later? Or to check to see if that museum has an online store to buy another pair from again.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Right, it’s not like this happened a day later, she had years to decide on a special plushie. OP seems a little dense and clueless.

[@chaos4654]

Simply not thinking about it? You'll be surprised how many things never once get thought about. Or will never ever be brought up.

[@shammydammy2610]

@@chaos4654 Obviously this one was brought up. And I don't know how she didn't think about it when the other kids graduated before the adopted child did.

[@namename2040]

Story 2 NAH It would never be the same though. The point of the gift wouldn't work. What could OP possibly have given the daughter for it to be as special? If you say OP could have bought her one earlier 1 don't understand the point of the gift and 2 forget hindsight is 20 20. Edit for update: clearly the stuffed animal wasn't the problem again it wouldn't have had that same meaning. But all those YTA clearly unfair makes you bad. Nuance and context don't matter.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

At the very least, she should have gone out and gotten the 2 stuffed animals for her when she was adopted at age 12. Idk, it seems clear she "just didn't think about." If something really matters to you, you remember it. Her unborn child was somehow deserving of this tradition but her living daughter isnt?

[@namename2040]

@@andrewi.crocker8675 Do you know how insane that sounds? Her unborn child deserves it more? Are you serious? The woman had a miscarriage. Her child died inside of her. No the child wasn't more deserving they died and she honored them by burying one with them and keeping the other. It nothing to do with them deserving it or not it was for her mental health and coping. She also bought those stuffed animals before ALL 3 kids even existed. My point still stands about it not being special btw although the reason she didn't get them was hindsight and a sentimental point wouldn't be there. Even looking at the update the stuffed animals weren't even the problem. The daughter staked all her emotions on the stuffed animals due to other issues and she cracked. The adopted daughter broke down due to other issues it was pretty obvious before the update the update just solidified that.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

@@namename2040 She had 16 years to think about her daughter and how she would react. She didn't. She could have easily gotten 2 matching stuffed animals for her when she first came into her life at 2. Or, maybe even WHEN SHE FREAKING ADOPTED HER AT 12! If she truly saw her as her daughter, she would have taken the time and effort to continue this tradition with her, instead of snubbing her

[@namename2040]

@@andrewi.crocker8675 Again the stuffed animal wasn't the problem. The only reason you're focusing on that is because you have no ground to stand on ESPECIALLY after the update. However considering this is a 17-18 year long gift process why would she have put that much thought into it. OP even points out it never dawned on her until she gave her oldest the 2nd stuffed animal. Why didn't she do it when she was 12 well either it didn't come to mind again she was reminded after her oldest graduation or she had already accepted it wouldn't be as special of a gift. Because it literally couldn't be. The value is not there. On top of all that adopted daughter and OP has so much they bond over if adopted was genuinely upset about specifically the stuffed animal, WHICH SHE IS NOT, she'd be kind of entitled. Not everything has to be equal does mean fair.

[@shadowkissed2370]

Story 2- I wouldn't give her your second child's stuffy, I would get a copy of the special stuffy you gave her on the day you adopted her. You might not have given birth to her but the day you adopted her was essentially like the day you gave birth to her. That stuffy should hold meaning just like the ones that you bought for your biological children.

[@formershadow]

Story 2: OP is TA! What? How are you that unaware since the other kids had an emotional moment that she was involved with. What 💩.

[@robertx8020]

One mistake! Maybe OP needs to die? :P

[@_Sage967_]

Story 2: i agree that OP doesnt deserve the standard protocol parent assailing that is commonplace on reddit (and that nobody deserves) but i think it's very telling that OP admits to feeling like she did enough and didnt need to include youngest in this thing despite how vastly more significant it seems to be than any ordinary family time. i mean the DAUGHTER is the one that comes forward to mend bridges and not even purely for apologetic reasons related to the issue itself cus lets be real, many of us wo be pullin a Dogeza if our parents got the reddit treatment for a family fight. that constructive criticism probably fell to the back behind the kind stuff that'd make you think you tongue would rot off if you said a fourth of that to you mother. OP didnt even need to try cus reddit shot her youngest right back into her arms. i dont give a fuck what OP is like in their daily life because there is literally no way they're gonna properly convey all of that. i go of what's in the story and what can be inferred from it and OP is TA in that case

[@JDKT002]

Agreed. the fact that she went on and on and on trying to justify herself after things were already resolved and looking to be going in the right direction. She even admits she got hyper defensive in the first post's comments. If her daughter hadn't seen the Reddit post, would OP have even attempted to mend things? Or would she have continued to dig her heels in and insist it wasn't a big deal, ignoring her daughters clear emotional reaction to it. OP felt a consolation prize was perfectly acceptable. Totally tone deaf, she should be thankful she has such an emotionally mature daughter. It's a good lesson to learn, you don't get to decide what's important to other people.

[@motheroftears25]

Story 1: wreck the Mistress crap aka get her sorry butt fired! Getting with her student's fathers is extremely unprofessional!

[@Alexisgotvids]

Hey markee, i know you herd the news about technoblade, i just wanted to say thank you, you make me smile and your videos really help me

[@Markee]

Yeah I've been processing his loss all day today, it's not easy losing someone as influential and as positive as him :/. Thank you for watching, I truly appreciate it :)

[@Alexisgotvids]

@@Markee i have to, ive watched him for 5 years, its hard, your videos always make me smile, i appreciate you so much

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

@@Markee we're sending you our support 💜

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1: Next update will be in a few years where OP's ex-husband tries to crawl back to her and the kids after his AP dumps him or cheats on him with some other dude. Story 2: YTA, OP knew the importance of the stuffed animals and "just forgot" to get the step kid one.

[@sagejungwirth4155]

the last story: reddit is a place where I feel those who are in the most desperate of need tend to go, and they often have a lot of negative stuff going on that the community can actually give pretty solid advise for. sadly, this means when relatively normal happy folk come on and post for advise on one negative thing in their life, they get the whole of reddit breathing down their neck. redditers have gotten use to the extreme, so advise and opinions tend to be blunt, brutal, and excessive for those with just one problem going on.

[@brittalex42]

You read my mind with your comment.

[@JSainte17]

Reddit isn't real life, but Redditors believe it to be. Just like, "Yep, this is what society as a whole likes and dislikes and agrees and disagrees with." I haven't heard the story yet, but you see it all the time. It's basically Twitter. They're so out of touch with reality.

[@bellabergmann5631]

Goddamn these cheating stories are slowly starting to get to me💀

[@robynedmonds7300]

You may have not wanted to put a burden on your daughter because of the bears meaning. You loved her and waited for her to accept you. She knows you love her but she still shouldering how she lost her mother. You sound like a sweet mother. You both needed and still need each other. ❤️💯💫

[@muhname6052]

Story 2: YTA you had an obvious tradition with two of your three kids how could you have not known about this? And all you have to make amends is a "special dinner" yeah I can totally believe that you care about her as much as the other two kids. 16 year. OP had 16 years. To avoid this problem that they should have from a million miles away and I call BS on the update. And you want to try to give her your miscarriage bear? What is wrong with you? That's such a loaded gift like what's she supposed to say? Yes give me the emotional support stuffed animal. Or should she say no I don't want this extremely sentimental gift. Jeezus.

[@digitalharmony26]

NEVER date your kids teachers, tutors, nannies etc. that’s fucking gross. There are 7 BILLION people on the planet, if you don’t like the one you’re married to, divorce and find someone that has no connection to your kids. Cheating is awful. Bring your kid around the new partner is gross asf. Sleeping with your students anything, especially parent is horrific. This whole situation is a shit show and I hope they all get what they deserve.

[@wolfwhistlewoowoo6297]

I love Markee's laugh ♡

[@shannabananas780]

The one with the bear... build-a-bear comes to mind. Mom and daughter bears.

[@kimsvisualdiary]

Story one: I would’ve kicked him out and gone to that daycare and kicked up such a stink. Make sure she would be fired and I’d spread the word to all the other daycares in town. Blast it all on social media with names and all. But I’m petty as fuck so… 😂

[@MissDeniseR]

Stuffed animal, why the hell didn't you just buy the kid efing stuffed animal, I feel so sorry for the girl you broke her heart.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. Know that you are loved and people appreciate that you’re here.

[@robertx8020]

Stoy needs a new husband and a new daycare center (well until she can get that witch fired) I wonder how long the man was going to wait if OP didn't find out?

[@telinhajp]

Hi Markee! おやすみ！❤️😴

[@moaahlgren5193]

OMG the mom with the plushies anger me so much!!! The fact that the daughter have the feeling that she need to ask HER forgivenes...

[@dream6562]

Why, she made a simple mistake because of a lack of forethought, it wasn't done purposely or with malice, daughter wanted to apologize out of all the people dogging her with all the negative comments, which if they were true she wouldn't do, why act like one mistake is enough to to negate everything else she has done

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@dream6562 "a simple mistake" Bullshit that it was simple. The op had 16yrs but wilfully never bother out of ignorance and laziness to even think about the daughter before the time came and her other kids got theirs.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@UsulPrincess if that's what you think then you must be an abusive parent, a neglectful parent or both.

[@dream6562]

@@fiyahquacker2835 well tell that to ops daughter because she apologized to her mom after she found the reddit post and was seeing all the comments about her, so I'm pretty sure in her mind all with the same opinions are aholes in her mind

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Story 1 who wants to bet the son goes NC with dad when he finds out what he did

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

When that woman married her dad. She should have bought both bears and gave her the first. This gesture would have said “you are my family.” To a child . Especially when she reached graduation. Depression runs in her family so careful make sure you let her know that this about the mom not the kid.

[@JSainte17]

EDIT: Op did the worst possible thing one sentenve into the update. Do not confrot him with nothing. Yes, let him get comfortable for a few weeks, then start following him or hire a PI. Do not confront with only the word of some person. I believe them, but if you're easily manipulated, as many in marriages are just because of time together, don't do this.

[@bobhenderson649]

Story 1 Why do cheaters tell such obvious lies. Been seeing her for a year, but I haven't been physical. That is just disrespecting your spouse in yet one more way. Story 2. I really doubt that the stuffed animal was the only reason for those feelings. The reaction was not the reaction of someone who did not have those feelings prior to the lack of a gift. Glad it all worked out, and not a big deal but I'm thinking there was more to it. Clearly OP is still a pretty good mom so there are bigger tragedies in the world.

[@mbyerly9680]

The number one rule of a divorce. GET A LAWYER before you do anything. Don't torpedo the teacher's job if the lawyer says not to. Do everything to get as much money as possible for the kids and set yourself up as the primary parent. Revenge isn't worth it if you hurt your chances for child care money and the children under your care.

[@gaffawebber]

All OP need do it let the other parents know what's up. They will take care of it. Those mothers will run her out ASAP.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP is TA and the damage is irreparable. This is due to the logic behind the whole thing. OP felt moved by both her two living and her one lost babies enough to get a bear for each and a duplicate for later on. OP obviously NEVER felt that same way towards her step-daughter whom she treated as a step-daughter eve after she adopted her at 7 yrs old. IMO, the daughter felt this coldness ever since she was a little girl but could never show proof that she was NOT seen as a real child of OP by OP. Once she didn't receive the teddy bear that all of OP's other children got that signified a mother-child connection, her feelings were validated. There is NOTHING OP can do to fix this because it is the truth. OP never saw the step-daughter as her own child because it never crossed her mind to collect a teddy bear and a duplicate for this new child in her life. OP needs to first look into herself and realize that this subconscious act totally defines her motherless attitude towards the step-daughter. OP needs to go into family therapy with her husband and his daughter to get to the bottom of this. OP has a LOT to apologize for as this is just ONE obvious sign she didn't see her step-daughter as truly her own child. Poor daughter. I feel for that girl so much.

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

Yeah. The daughter's comments don't matter at all. She has no idea how she should feel and just because she talked this out with her mom and has pretty much moved passed this issue in a positive manner, mom is still a horrible person about something that was really just an honest mistake.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@katrinasamuels-garrison825 This wasn't an "honest mistake". Plus I make my judgement from the initial post, not from edits or answers or updates. For sure the daughter might feel guilted into thinking she was ungrateful for her feeling snubbed due to OP not saving a Teddy Bear for her unlike how OP made it important to her birthed children. Plus, OP admits they felt it wasn't important. This means OP's sentimental symbolic gift of a teddybear to her birthed children wouldn't be as important to her adopted daughter. That shows LACK OF EMPATHY. Abusers always get defensive by saying how much good they do for their victim to dilute the bad things. SO OP interacted with her adopted daughter, but that doesn't mean her psychological connection to her adopted daughter was the same as her birthed children and she should have anticipated this issue by having empathy for a child who lost her birth mother due to suicide from PPD. OP lacked compassion and empathy for her child's mental health issues when she just excused her obvious teddybear snub. I mean, her dead baby got buried with a teddy bear but NOT her living adopted child she raised since the girl was TWO YEARS OLD.

[@robertx8020]

maybe I'm readsing a different story The daughter seem to forgive her so in the end it doesn't matter what you think I WOULD say it was ONE mistake From everything I read from the update is that the OP is a good mother and they love eachother!

[@robertx8020]

@@katrinasamuels-garrison825 If the daugters comments don't matter than you matter even less! She knows herself where you don't know her!

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@robertx8020 - Oh sure, there is LOVE, but the poor girl is dealing with a sense of guilt of killing her own mother. She didn't kill her mother, the mother committed suicide due to the unsuccessful treatment for PPD. OP should have had this in mind when the daughter was TWO YEARS OLD and have emotionally gone into motherhood instincts and got that teddybear duplicate right then and there. She had a chance again once she officially adopted the daughter. Then she had TWO MORE CHANCES to create that bond when her older children graduated when she gave them THEIR duplicated teddy bear. Each of those times count for a moment of emotional neglect. OP NEVER considered her child's needs at any of hose moments. Those are multiple "mistakes" not ONE MISTAKE.

[@Pidgeyato]

Markee character arc lets go

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

And why not put a loving note on the University’s bear “sweet heart I am sorry I didn’t know you when you were just born. I bought this bear for you because I could not match your first stuffed animal . I love you lots. Please hug it and know I have hugged it too. And that I am alway there for you. Just phone call away. Love mom .” I’m sure with sentiment such as that you would never have seen her cry.

[@angierucinski5694]

Story 1: "I was waiting until the time was right'. So when, precisely, would that time be?? 🤔🤔 Arrogant Sod.

[@ResidentMilf]

When he got caught, of course.

[@TheRuneTail]

Story 2: YTA. She really doesnt understand how to involve kids. Not only did she not think of getting her adipted daughter a plushie but also skippee her older bio daughter out of the necklace hand me down. She also makes excuses about not heing her real mom but has been in that girl's life as a mom since she was 2

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

In story of the preschool teacher. I bet he gave her some story of your marriage being on the rocks. That’s why he’s picking up the kid more. Or he would have been more secret about their meetings. I would go to the school and nicely talk to her. About your child and about how you thought you had a solid marriage until yesterday. How you though all the sudden your husband became loving and attentive to your child when you now see it was his excuse for actively pursuing her. That now you understand he has a “thing “ for younger women.” And you now understand that there can be no hope in saving your marriage. Because you could never trust him. Listen if she tells you he pursued and told her you are getting divorced at the start. Do not be mad at her . She may see him for what he is and dump his but. However If she was flirting with him. Then no. But you do need to talk to her management. Everyone knows you don’t date the married dads at a daycare. They may have been waiting for your child to no longer go there to announce so her job would not be in jeopardy. She has probably lost a husband. And may be a daycare. So weird.

[@gaffawebber]

Yeah, she needs to be fired.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Some people in this comments section really are slopping for the 2nd stories neglectful mother. 16yrs and the other kids getting their never gave her any inclination that she has prepared for the youngest and that's somehow a "mistake". That "mother" was willfully ignorant and lazy. How hard is it to make a note and keep it somewhere you'll see it so you don't forget something this important? If someone who would rather be castrated than have kids could do this bare minimum that lazy asshole of a neglectful "mother" can too. "I'm sorry I forgot you but here's a conciliation prize". At least things seem to be up on the mend and though it still sucks the kid felt bad for the "mistake" which very much clearly wasn't a mistake that the mother made. YTA.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

20:22 yes, YTA and you shouldn’t have said what you said. OP was not TA, she just made a mistake.

[@carissaconway2802]

But her a new plushie that goes with her personality or something she's into.

[@solveigssang9911]

Still no Teddy though

[@tamicablanding]

Is there no update for story 1

[@stevencorrell6473]

For the second story I know it may be an unpopular opinion but the past is the past suck it up and move on and for all those that say "just buy her a stuffed animal" yeah that may solve the problem in the short term but remember one important thing as soon as you start negotiating people like that you never stop so from this point forward it will be known if you say no or disagree in any way all they have to do is whine and complain long enough and that no goes away.....sure it's small now but what happens when it ends up being something bigger and they expect things to go the same way

[@JSainte17]

I get it, but you bought these decades ago and didn't know her then. When you did finally meet her, I'm positive you weren't thinking about the stuffy tradition. I get she's hurting but I feel like if you had bought her any old stuffy (because there is no sentimental one) that she'd be hurt that she got something meaningless.

[@melvinyoung3474]

NTA by all means. They can't expect a gift that was made 18 yrs ago. They are being the a....less for expecting this. All those who are calling you an a....let are acting like a....less. God love a a....le.

[@shananagar1601]

To the commenter that said you don’t leave your wife until it gets physical I would just like to say Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn

[@melvinyoung3474]

Husband is probably cheating. All the big red flags are there and all the trumpets are blaring.

[@williethomas6388]

Thoughtless or ignorant maybe but not an A.

[@WobblesandBean]

I don't believe for one second that OP didn't throw everything in her adopted daughter's face. Even in her update, she was nine kinds of defensive and downplayed what she did. She deserved all of the hate she got.

[@potatoempress5731]

Exactly. Her wall of text never convinced me of her true feelings towards her youngest. Mentioning every little things she has done for her is so insincere.

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Wow how stupid can a woman be. From day one you have always been treating her different. You had 18 years to give her a stuffy. You could have gotten her 2 . And given them to her.

[@concrete-d5v]

Yeah the OP in story 2 is still the AH in soooo many ways. (Even after the edit/update) The adopted daughter is better person than I would be in that situation, the adopted daughter shouldn't have had to apologize for OP's lack empathy/forethought. Especially considering the daughter's bio mom's passing. I would not be surprised that this would lead to the adopted daughter distancing herself (even after saying she wouldn't) the OP should take a good look at herself and her relationship her adopted daughter.

[@concrete-d5v]

Also still thinking about it I'm even more angry about the situation, the adopted daughter got guilt tripped into forgiving OP in the hopes that she wouldn't lose another mother or really the only mother she knew

[@dream6562]

@@concrete-d5v idk, I think people are being to hard on op if anything op is a soft ahole, it was a simple lack of forethought, nothing intentional or malicious, also the daughter did not have to apologize or was guilt tripped, she apologized of her own will out of what people where talking about her, if the comments were true she wouldn't apologize

[@concrete-d5v]

@@dream6562 I disagree, the daughter's reaction to the whole thing was to be sad and then slightly cold to her for a week? Then reddit commenters are all "your relationship is ruined" "I hope she goes NC" etc etc. So the daughter apologized to make sure she didn't lose another mother, especially since she'll be going to college soon. I can see her viewing the whole situation as "oh I'm the adopted/not real child". Even the cooking book thing it could be looked at poorly, it could be seen as oh she's starting something new with her "other" family. (Since her bio kids didn't like to cook) Then when a "real" family tradition comes up the daughter is left high and dry. I'm not saying that the OP did all this malisously, but her complete oblivious absolutely makes her an AH, not meaning to hurt someone doesn't excuse the fact that you did.

[@dream6562]

@@concrete-d5v true but she is trying to make up for it after realizing so why keep giving her shit for it, if I try to make up for a mistake I didn't forsee, and person in question couldn't see I was putting effort to mend the issue or wouldn't accept it, I probably would have developed in a way were I never took back anything i did wrong

[@concrete-d5v]

@@dream6562 you aren't wrong people should at least try to be forgiving especially when the relationship is good/healthy. And hey the daughter already forgave OP so it's a moot point, but if op doesn't take stock and reevaluate/change some things, thier relationship can turn sour real quick. I think the daughter will take everything OP does with a grain of salt, which is just sad.

[@robinwhite4148]

Good onetoday

[@ceciliacalvin207]

I miss seeing your face at the beginning of your videos.

[@potatoempress5731]

Eh idk, Story 2 update word salad seems like justification after justifications by the OP. It reads like insincere esp how much she mentions every little detail ever. It's giving defensiveness. Maybe she thought the "small things that accumulates" is actually because SHE kept making """honest mistakes""" when deciding things with the daughter. Ugh.

[@shmoonie2467]

I miss your face!

[@catherinetiernan5888]

Stop making excuses,you f....d up big time. I hope the relationship mends.

[@vampire9545]

NTA for stuffed animal story. Markee is tho 😆

[@fiyahquacker2835]

That "mother" is definitely a superior asshole.

[@manxeable]

Holiiii

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

👋👋👋

[@gloriaanderson8123]

Xsceve

[@DWPersianExcursion]

Xoxo