My Husband Would Choose His Girl Best Friend Over Me Any Day., || Reddit Story

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Alejandra ! This story is all about a woman whose husband would choose his girl best friend over her.. What would you do in this situation?
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[@aimeemarie5462]

There was an update for this. She came home after he got home from the road trip and husband and sasha were sitting in the kitchen together. She said she needed to talk to him and they went up to their bedroom. She cried to him and told him about what she was upset over and he didn't say a word to her. So she finally asked him "Do you have anything to say" and all he could say was "you shouldn't have done this. Sasha's downstairs. She probably heard you and you could hurt her feelings" She's getting a divorce from him.

[@shaybecx2981]

and the douchebag (husband) posted his take on reddit as well. The title is "My wife wants to divorce me because I went on a trip on our anniversary "

[@marybel5714]

Idiot. Such a immature man!

[@amylynnsgraphics]

fu-- sasha's feelings! She doesn't care about stepping on OP's toes and ruining OP's marriage.

[@CherryFlower24]

The AUDACITYYYY

[@hayamirin6795]

"YOU COULD HAVE HURT HER FEELINGS?" THE AUDACITY

[@lajourdanne]

"When you wear rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags" -The Owl Girlfriend from Bojack Horseman

[@megana5766]

One of my favorite quotes from that show

[@jadeharley7190]

The owl lady is named Wanda :)

[@lajourdanne]

@@jadeharley7190 Thank you! I couldn't remember and was way too stubborn to look it up 😃

[@hm5468]

That’s just being stupid, lol. You get one pass at your first adult relationship and after that you need to smarten tf up.

[@asdfghjkl8236]

Damn. 😕

[@parentingadabsurdum]

Your husband is going on a road trip with another woman. Period. On your wedding anniversary???? WTF. RUN!!!! That is a lifetime of pain in the making.

[@hm5468]

It’s litwrally a no brainer

[@jackieluna]

Why is no one bringing up the fact that they dated in high school so she’s literally an ex

[@ashleyc.6189]

I just don't understand why the husband married his wife in the first place if he had feelings for his BFF. Why not just marry Sasha if that's who he'd would rather be with? Why drag OP into the mess?

[@auslynrynerson1798]

a lot of men want a "normal" wife that gives them a good appearance but they have the "fun" woman on the side that they dont think they could take home to mom

[@rubymeaddle]

Because men

[@ronhall5395]

I think he does not feel romantic about Sasha, but they do have a very codependent relationship going on. Shasha is his person, just not someone he wants to sleep with. Just my opinion of course. They may have gone to some resort spa and screwed the whole trip. I just don't think so. I do think divorce is the answer. He really does care more about Sasha than he does his own wife.

[@meggston6901]

@@ronhall5395 I was getting the vibes that he would be with Sasha if he could, but she doesn't want that. She just enjoys the power she has over this man, and wants to string him along for fun? As a back up plan? Who knows, but I think he would leave op in an instant if Sasha told him to

[@sassygirls7120]

For me, it’s the fact that he told her “he has never had romantic feelings for her” and yet they DATED in highschool. He intentionally downplayed his feelings for his “best friend” so OP couldn’t question their friendship without feeling jealous.

[@amylynnsgraphics]

Also it's easy to hate Sasha but it's the husband's fault for not discouraging his friendship with Sasha and putting OP on the sidelines for her.

[@michellejaneth]

I hate both of them tbh

[@greendiamondglow]

I'm s big believer in "smoke for everybody". Yeah, hubby is a turd, but Sasha is also scum

[@jillchinnt]

A female friend being on all of our dates from the beginning? I wouldn't start a relationship with someone like that lmao

[@MidnightAndLuna]

Exactly, let alone marry them

[@meganchambers8108]

If your husband was going on a road trip with any friend, male or female, any day, it's rude if they don't tell you until the day of! Period! *Then* add the fact that it's another woman on their *FIRST* anniversary, and he didn't disclose their romantic history?! Nah dawg.

[@roxcyn]

Both the husband and his side piece (yeah I'm calling her that because they're cheating) are POS. I would never do that!

[@hm5468]

Good for you 😂😂😂

[@roxcyn]

@@hm5468 - I guess you do, 🤔.

[@lauratraxler8154]

Even if it isn't a physical affair it's an emotional affair. You need to leave the marriage because there is too many people in your marriage.

[@pradnyakhairnar1695]

Freakin true but not that easy ig

[@crazypyp5871]

Wow this is just sad. Poor OP. If you’re in a monogamous relationship and your spouse has feelings for someone else, then it’s not good at all in the slightest. OP deserves better. Someone who will remember her anniversary and be sure to spend couples time the whole day instead of going on a road trip the day of

[@MegaMegafran]

A good advise is: NEVER marry someone who has a problem setting boundaries and keeping them. No matter who it is with either parents, exes, or "friends" it will only breed resentment and arguements because the 1st thing they say is "you knew it was like this back when we were dating so why are you complaining now?" The OP in the story made the mistakes of not keeping boundaries and getting into a relationship with someone who didnt consider her the 1st priority and now that grew into a real issue where if she tries to enforce boundaries she comes off as a villain instead of just trying to keep her sanity and a healthy marriage

[@gofficcat]

Holy crap, it is bad enough to not discuss the road trip with his wife, but then he doesn't invite her (I am assuming, but it sounds that way)....but to do it over their anniversary?? It blows my mind.

[@amylynnsgraphics]

Yea no, I wouldn't have continued to date this man if his female best friend was THAT huge in his life, I mean I signed up to be in a couple NOT a thruple as a third wheel. This guy sucks and Sacha sucks. I didn't even like competing with other women just for the attention of a love interest, but there's no way in hell any woman should have to compete with another woman after they've made VOWs to each other!

[@fayebaeee]

i think that if you allow certain behavior without repercussions it’s basically telling the other person “yeah you can cross my boundaries it’s fine” so i definitely think she should established boundaries when sasha would show up at their dates. if you think about it OP’s husband was probably the one saying ‘oh me and OP are going to dinner at ____’

[@MidnightAndLuna]

I think if she set boundaries early on, she would have saved herself a lot of heartache, time, and money on a wedding. That relationship would have ended when it was supposed to: at the beginning.

[@sineadcallan7076]

My best friend is a guy for over 11 years and he is travelling the world with his girlfriend of 10 years and we are all so close and I’m currently meeting them in Mexico and already planning out next trip together. I now have two best friends in them both ❤

[@indicababy5513]

similar thing happened to me, his wife was a bridesmaid in my wedding! I love them both and so happy to have them both.

[@jesskhan09]

That’s great . That’s sounds like a healthy friendship.

[@MidnightAndLuna]

This! This is what healthy boundaries look like. Love this!

[@8407x]

As a girl best friend (I hate that phrase, I’m just his best friend) I would so tell off and fight my best friend if he wants to go on a trip on his anniversary or birthday or any important date of his relationship. That’s just rude and so inconsiderate.

[@happystarhappystar1477]

You are and always will be the elephant 🐘 in the room. Pious as you are, you are a big elephant.

[@saltizer26]

I agree, in a “girl best friend “ and we’ve only ever been friends. I’d never allow for this behavior. This is sick and not okay. This poor woman needs to leave her husband.

[@nleem3361]

Bet his mom gave him an earful. I'd love to hear what happened during that conversation.

[@EricaLaurenx3]

The more I think about the situation the worse it gets... a one-on-one trip of any kind is off-limits, but why wasn't OP invited in the first place? Forget about the high school relationship and the fact that she just found out about it now, why was her intrusive presence not discussed before... and you're right, if she was constantly showing up on their dates, that already tells you she doesn't respect their relationship enough to allow them to build a foundation properly,... that should have been the first red flag... respect and boundaries must be addressed before even getting engaged... how can you say yes to a marriage proposal if there's someone else hovering in the background of your relationship... regardless,... the current situation is that he a) didn't think to include her in his plans, b) didn't tell her he made plans, c) didn't think a one-on-one road trip with another woman would be an issue, and d) didn't remember their anniversary, and considering "c)", he probably knew that it was wrong and didn't tell her intentionally until the last minute so it was too late to argue about it... the implications of what May be happening are enough to demolish any trust there once was and once it's gone, it's hard to earn back...

[@gcarr1089]

OP is going to be disrespected each and every time, she needs to decide if she can continue to be an afterthought to her husband for the rest of her life and live a life of unhappiness because she will be more and more unhappy as the years go on.

[@ErinThePsychicWitch]

Why… did she marry that guy? Sounds like it’s been that way from day one.

[@rannaluv]

I’m wondering if it’s Sasha who doesn’t have feelings for the husband but he still does, which is why he keeps hanging out with her. She may not even be aware that the wife is blind to them hanging out- and the husband might be holding out hope that Sasha might change. Why doesn’t he encourage the two women to be friends? He hasn’t this whole time. That’s a red flag too. Either way, the whole situation sucks.

[@michellealjunaidi8471]

OP shouldn't have gotten married to him in the first place. She ignored a lot of red flags to be with this guy. Little did she know he wasn't worth the battle. Instead of confronting him she should have contacted a lawyer and left the divorce papers on the kitchen table. No need to talk to him anymore.

[@rainbows5232]

Its sad, but you have to be either dumb and naive or extremely passive or both, to end up in her situation. And her asking the mom what does she mean they used to have feelings, like huh? How can someone be that dense and naive , no shit there's something between them

[@liajas]

Lmao dense.. like bread

[@AvneetKaur-ow7vj]

She meant they dated in highschool but isn't aware of them still having feelings and by ops story it looks like he still has feelings for her so the bestfriend bis just tagging him along for her fun

[@rainbows5232]

@@AvneetKaur-ow7vj it doesnt matter having feelings after, you would assume you date someone who wants to date you too. but i dont keep contact with exes, nothing extremely bad happened with my exes, they werent bad people, but we cant be friends, in my definition it would never be platonic, i cant be friends with someone i slept with or been with in anyway, that aint no friendship in my book. so i dont understand people who date people who have their exes in the picture, being surprised that in the future they need to deal with those exes.

[@AvneetKaur-ow7vj]

@@rainbows5232 I don't remain in contact with my exes either. Although ig the wife wasn't even aware they even dated. She just thought they were friends until she talked with mother in law who was told by her son that he never cared for sasha obviously a lie.

[@srahmidewi8427]

Please give us update on this story. I hope there's an update

[@cheyenned4216]

She had enough red flags before they got married

[@scoutsms]

Don’t worry y’all. She updated and left his sorry ass.

[@nleem3361]

Sad. After I divorced my x-h, I'd still have him fix my car until he was telling me about what he said to his new gf. They'd been dating about 6 mo, but he said to her that I was still #1 in his life. I told him he was an a-hole, and hadn't changed a bit for the better after the divorce and if she was smart, she'd have left him at that moment. I quite talking to him after that. Free car repairs couldn't make up how bad I felt for his new gf. We didn't have kids, so I didn't have a reason to stay in contact with him to find out what happened with his relationship. So sad for the Op in this thread. Sounds like she know the situation. She's probably kicking herself for not seeing it when they were going out on 3 sum dates, but at least she knows now and can move on with her life and meet someone she actually loves her. I know I've been in the situation of dating a man I had a dream of marrying and put up with way too many red flags to keep the dream alive only to have a bomb explode in my face. Hopefully, she doesn't feel too bad about it. It happens to a lot of us 'nice women'.

[@happystarhappystar1477]

Whoever you marry should be your best friend.

[@meganchambers8108]

My ex-BF forgot my birthday once. After picking me up from dinner with my family (should have been a hint), we hung out for a while and when the clock struck midnight I was like "Well now you fucked up." He felt bad but he was also in the process of being on/off heroin and lying to me about it over and over so... guess he was otherwise occupied.

[@mariabogan1519]

Husband never should have married OP if he prefers Sasha's companionship. Also, ultimatums are sometimes necessary. It forces the person to evaluate their priorities. Sometimes we need something drastic to reevaluate. I'm not saying this to defend the husband, because I think his actions are indefensible. But if she never brought up her problems with Sasha always being there, he thinks that he can have both of them, so why would he give up one when he thinks he gets the best of both? It's trashy and dishonest, but it's possible. I feel bad for OP, and I wish she had been able to set that ultimatum earlier in their relationship.

[@kelliazzam1594]

Honestly, therapy works if you work it. It always gets worse and harder before it gets easier. Gotta have the right therapist too.

[@hayamirin6795]

No

[@greendiamondglow]

Sasha is probably one of those girls who wants what's unavailable. She just likes the power of knowing she can have this married man and that he will put her ober his wife.

[@smam5548]

this had me going “WHAT” at every reveal… whatta mess. dump him.

[@sarabayfromParis]

They are an update with the post of the husband

[@thaisemanuella9391]

Link?

[@alpal7779]

Your co-host is my favorite. She has the best voice and I love her insight. I don't have a lot of guy friends but my husband is a girls girl. His best friends are all women and they've all been really cool women who I've become friends with. She's a lot like my husband's friends! She's magnetic!

[@tamiwood1992]

I forgot our 10 year anniversary 😅 I was home with him etc I just forgot, he was getting all emotional & I was like what's wrong? And he told me I felt awful 😂🙈

[@divinecrime]

Based on a past experience I had, I don’t believe Sasha even has feelings for him. I think she enjoys keeping him in the friend zone while still having him wrapped around her finger. She gets off on the power she feels from him choosing her over his own wife. Even if OP and her husband split, I bet Sasha will still continue to treat him like a friend. They’ll never end up together.

[@Melissa-rv1fl]

As someone who's birthday is 12/27 -.- my family feels the same about remembering 12/27 as an important date

[@nicolem1738]

I might be completely off but it seems like the husband maybe thought his wife is more attractive physically , but he has more of an emotional connection with his BFF. You know how you hear people say "I would be with this one but she's/he's the one I'm more physically attracted to" ? 🤷‍♀️ it's all so screwed up either way, that's really messed up.

[@margielou6914]

I wouldn’t even be there when they got back. Op didn’t matter enough to husband before he left… so save him the trouble of the conversation.

[@alanamacneill88]

LEAVE HIM🚩🚩🚩

[@karri8998]

He probably still would have gone on the road trip if she would have told him. She however needed to stand her ground and told him it was their anniversary, she did need to flip out. Stop staying silent and not speaking out at the proper moment.

[@karri8998]

She needs to sit down with her husband, after calling him and asking him to come hope now, there is an emergency. She needs to say either Sasha or me, no more Sasha AT ALL. Wife or friend, pick one. Poor girl, that is bullshit.

[@AlyD247]

Is there an update on this story?

[@karri8998]

You are far too kind about Sasha, she clearly is interfering in their marriage on purpose.

[@natashacaldwell3064]

I live right next to Duluth lmao. Duluth is cool and all, the Great Lakes are beautiful. But if you ever get a chance, go up the north shore of Lake Superior. The waters are Brown in Duluth.. but if you go further north the waters become a beautiful turquoise color and so clear. Just don’t come in the winter unless you enjoy cold.

[@mandysarmcandy7748]

If you feel second best than move on till you find Someone that puts you first

[@hm5468]

Holy shit, I would go so scorch earth… Also the “men in this generation” bit. No girl, I don’t think it’s the generation’s problem, I think it’s a you problem. Did she need to see him fck her in front of her eyes to understand she shouldn’t have married him? Idk, man. People really are taking marriage way too lightly. I’ll know everything I need to know about someone before I decide to invest my entire life into them and she KNEW this dude was letting his “best fwiend fowevewr” was making passes at him amd he still kept it going. How many flagpoles do you need to hit you in the head before you see the flag? There’s no excuse. NO excuse to be this guillible past your very first adult relationship. You get one pass and after that you’re just stupid. It’s on her. There’s no way you get to marriage and don’t realize that maybe your future husband always bringing his satellite girl friend on your dates like they’re conjoined is maybe an issue. MAAAAYBE. Right?

[@bronwyn117]

I don’t think I would care if my husband forgot our anniversary, but would divorce if he was going off on weekends with another woman. Sorry, not sorry.

[@Rums1517]

I met my husband two months ago and then married him after knowing him for one month 😆 Then again, it was an arranged marriage.

[@roxcyn]

On an unrelated note, what beverages are you two drinking?

[@natr2603]

Is this a recap and follow up, remember you read this story on your 2hr. Podcast? I've been really curious about what happened to OP from this Reddit Story.

[@isacarral2736]

All these short clips are from previous episodes

[@CariAndLenny]

I wish my ex boyfriend’s girl best friend would have shown me that respect. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable with him going on vacation with her without me, he said “Well I already made the commitment, and she already bought the tickets.” I told him what my boundaries were, he kind of started pouring and told me that he saw them as enforced rules. I wanted to do couple counseling. But I couldn’t look past when they confessed their feelings for each other. She has a boyfriend herself but she will never leave her boyfriend for him. I’m just seriously concerned for her boyfriend now. Does he know about any of this? Is he even real?

[@katie6615]

What. The. Fuck. They’ve been boning for a long time, possibly this whole time. Run, OP, RUN!! ❤

[@MidnightAndLuna]

I don’t get stories like these. Why didn’t he and Sasha just stay together or date again if he prioritizes her over everyone else? It’s clear they both have feeling for each other. Why put someone through unnecessary pain by dating and getting married knowing full well you’re in love with your ‘best friend’. And for OP, why stay with someone and MARRY THEM when this was going on from the beginning? Sasha being on every date with them is not normal. I get missing red flags, but that’s one that is extremely hard to miss.

[@JennaDe]

I just realized we have the same anniversary lol

[@tbotaku]

I love Duluth!!! My family is up there and it's beautiful!

[@mixelle_0]

This is so weird. Your first anniversary is my boyfriend’s birthday which was supposed to be the day when I finally would say yes to being official but we didn’t get to see each other. So the next time I saw him was January 1st and that is our anniversary as well 😅

[@vaniahudson]

UPDATE: My husband would chose his girl best friend over me anyday. Hello everyone! Thank you all for the kind words and advice I really do appreciate it. Although some of you didn't understand the point of my post and started questioning why I married him in the first place. Why I didn't set boundaries and questioned my self respect. I have all the answers you wanted aswell the update many of you have been asking for. I would first like to say that not everyones life is easy and not everyone can get just up and leave whenever. Gaslighting, manipulation and emotional attachments also exist. Sure some of you wouldn't stand for it and the disrespect but I did. I made a mistake and im owning up to it I really don't understand what's the point of bashing me like you know the situation. I did come here to rant and I didn't expect this to blow up like it did. But anyways id firstly like to state that I grew up in the foster care system my life wasn't the best. When I met my "husband" I was overwhelmed and overjoyed at the fact that someone wanted me and liked me. When things started to progress with us I ignored all his mistakes because I thought he would be the only person who would of excepted me. I know that's its not an excuse but I honestly didn't have a backbone and my self respect intact either. I was a pushover. It's also the fact that I wasn't in a great place financially and I was just so done with it. Some of you asked why I didn't set boundaries with him and sasha it's because they are inseparable and I was afraid he would leave me for her. I didn't want to be alone again. I wanted to be happy you know. Some of you people think that I did it because I was desperate. Genuinely speaking I was so very desperate because I didn't want to lose him. I took it all because I was afraid to live my childhood all over again. I didn't plan coming here and giving my life story but here I am. Now the most important part that everyone has been waiting for. My "husband" called me as soon as he got back. I ignored his calls since I had to leave for work. I'm pretty sure he called 100 times demanding to know where I was. After work I went straight to his home. I walked in and behold sasha sitting on the kitchen counter chatting to my husband smiling and laughing. At that moment I wanted to scream and cry I hated it. My husband saw me and Came up to me asking me where the hell I was. I told him we needed to talk and took him upstairs. He asked what was up. The audacity he had. I've genuinely had enough so I told him I wanted a divorce because he went on a roadtrip with another women on our anniversary. I cried and screamed till I couldnt anymore and all he did was fucking stand there looking at me. I was so frustrated I asked him if he had anything to say and all he said was that I shouldnt of yelled like that because sasha was here and she would be offended if I thought that I couldn't trust her. My last fucking straw. I left and the next time I see him it's with divorce papers. Im not going to cry any longer because I deserve better. I'm currently looking for divorce lawyers and will be starting the process as soon as I can. The audacity of that man after all I've done for him. It's clear that he chose sasha because even though she wasn't in the same room as us he thought of her and her feelings. I broke down infront of him and he fucking thought of her. Again thank you all for the kind messages I appreciate it so very much. I will keep you all updated!!

[@tristenw8620]

This is so sad

[@sannehekman3686]

She’s thinking about Clair from Modern Family, I think!

[@kylenewright4334]

Hope they got that marriage annulled. Yikes

[@mrs.daniellequintanilla4635]

revert back to this video at her wedding in 6 months lol

[@Tokachitheartist]

How come people choose friends over there S/O, en mostly base on a lie that there have something between it There is no way that marry would keep up, Op need some sence and self respect to know That she has to get out from that Pity jail marrieged

[@nicolehegarty4749]

I love Duluth ❤️ I am from Minnesota too ❤️

[@playmeplayme]

she needs to find someone better

[@hayamirin6795]

She won't have a hard time 😂

[@me23435]

This is old af y’all didn’t even bother adding the update laZy

[@alessagiersberg1935]

What’s the update ?

[@me23435]

@@alessagiersberg1935 she went to see Him after he got back only to find his friend there too. She confronted him About everything and instead of apologising he got annoyed that his Friend would overhear and become upset. That was the last straw realising even now his friend was his first concern And she broke up with him

[@AvneetKaur-ow7vj]

My friends group is mixed 50-50 male female usually go together in 2 peoples group as its total of 28 people so its huge and wont fit in one place like that. so if a guy ends up dating someone we dont intervene at all. We wont show up on their dates even if we by chance saw them we would either take a diff route or say hi and go on seperate ways. depends if they saw us first or not. There wont be any hanging out between 2 peopld unless they are dating either otherwise it will be a group thing with their gfs involved thay too on their anniversary. So this is just too absurd. Guy should just date the freaking bestfriend he clearly only cares about her and not about his wife and if best friend doesn't give a shit then she should stop hogging around him and leave the couple alone. Op should probably divorce too why even marry such a person. My brother recently started dating someone and she wants me to live with them still I didn't go as I think they would need more privacy as they are in live in. And I could see my brother just saying no silently pleading to me from the back too😂 its been over 2 yrs since I met him though we still talk but we are in diff countries. But yeah people should leave any couple alone.

[@SD-hs2pk]

Not the solution here but wanted to say that It's okay to change therapist btw

[@figuringoutkayc]

“The men in this generation” no girl your man

[@czurbandanaz]

Are u on spotify?

[@Sweet_Dia965]

So theres an update and a husband's update and tbh it sounds pretty fake.

[@hayamirin6795]

It doesn't

[@mkilauj]

Divorce is a really serious thing but so is marriage. Her husband is !@#$ up.

[@ms.annthropic6341]

Hubby is cheating, or at least emotionally cheating - bail out, she will always play second fiddle to the “friend”. As far as what else was said though If you’re not doing anything inappropriate to do with your friends then there’s nothing you need to stop doing just because your friend is now dating someone. Obviously the person your friend is dating is going to be getting more of their time than their friends got when they were single because their partner will be their top priority and they will have less free time. But that’s not needing to change anything on your part. If their partner has a problem with you calling your friend or hanging out with your friend, or any other normal friends behaviour then their partner is way too insecure and they’re the problem, not you. And that insecure partner is going to continue to be a problem - we all catered to my guy friend’s insecure little gf and guess what? Now that she’s his wife she’s still insecure and still has a problem with him having female friends, having long talks on the phone with his friends once he’s home from work, etc - all his friends have just gotten used to not actually seeing or talking to him more than a few times a year. 😕

[@bg-nz9yj]

less talking my god

[@hayamirin6795]

🤓