My Husband YELLS at Me: Is He a NARCISSIST?

This video helps women understand "why my husband yells at me" and the duplicitous nature of us as women.
As women, we often believe that our husbands yelling at us is a sign that they are narcissists. In this video, I pull back the curtain on the truth about wives and how we provoke our husbands to yell at us and react aggressively. I also provide a solution to this common marital problem for both women and men.
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#happywife, #marriageadvice, #women, #men, #redpill
Disclaimer: The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my videos and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual - what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for aggressive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and/or physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse.
Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my videos as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy. Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.

[@MrBobDobolina]

I've never seen such an honest woman before.

[@badgerden7080]

I agree. Too bad the only ones here that are listening are those who this message is not intended for. I doubt there are any married or single women here listening. If anything, they will probably threaten her and shame her for being the good wife she is. Feminism has a stronghold on women nowadays.

[@JohnSmith-lv8xk]

💯

[@dat581]

@@badgerden7080It’s not just feminism, it’s female nature unfortunately. Responsibility and accountability are kryptonite to most women and they honestly believe their husbands are the problem when they cause the problems themselves. I’m trying to teach my ten year old daughter that self accountability is a super power for women if they decide to pick it up. If you blame yourself when things go wrong you can do something about it. You get better. If you blame someone else you drive yourself into victim mentality and you shrink as a person. I think I’m getting to her, she’s Daddy’s girl and always has been and is noticing when her friends play the victim. There is hope.

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

@@dat581❤ good father!

[@krakoosh1]

She must be AI 😂😂😂

[@robertcampbell8441]

Married for 42 years. I have been through the whole gambit of what your teaching Karyn. When I was a younger man, I would fight for myself. After my children came along, I seen how they were being used, to manipulate me, and to try and discredit and invalidate me as a good man and father. Very evil behaviour, coming from my wife, and there's just soooo very much deliberate and down right devious evil planning, I couldn't even begin to try and put it in the comments. Just know that you are doing a very good and godly work, by speaking out for truth. The only way I could be a good father, was to learn how "not" to respond, so that I could remain a stabilizing force, in my children's lives. My young daughter even said to me at one point; "Dad, why don't you just divorce mom?" My heart breaking response was, "Sarah, then I would get kicked out of our home, and wouldn't be here to take care of you, and your little brother. I have great respect for you Karyn, for your absolutley unbelievable honesty. I pray Jesus protection, and peace, cover you, as you are truly doing God's work in this.

[@hotdogg8]

I've been there for 35+ years now. Over time you get to a point of being 'a big gray rock'. I hate it when the kids are used, the words are said, everything is 'wrong'. Karyn is so on target.

[@BillTony2]

I've been married for 30 years and find this lady to be so spot on in her videos. You mentioned Jesus in your comments. I'm a Jesus follower myself. Do you know of any churches or Christian ministries that teach from scripture like this? I know that she is right but I'd like to hear appropriate scripture because some may say this is simply an opinion. Jesus and the Bible can be trusted but most churches are garbage in many ways. They don't address this at all.

[@Jojo10475]

@@BillTony2 It would help, in someone directing you to a good local church if you listed your location.

[@BillTony2]

@@Jojo10475 I attend a Calvary Chapel that I am content with.. So, I am not looking for a church to attend..

[@kimmariebimmarie]

The Transformed Wife is a Christian teacher for women on this stuff.

[@warrensmith2902]

Yep. I was the bully for 25 years. We went to church leaders countless times, marriage counseling 5 times, boy, was I the villain. Took me a while to learn to let it go by, so she could not get more ammo. Counseling always ended when they turned to my wife and said; Now lets work on your issues. At her funeral, her family sat on one side of the chapel, and I and my one son who was still at home sat on the other. None of her family expressed condolences to me, only to my son, with dirty looks in my direction while they did it. Fortunately by then, I was ready. Took me about 8 years for my son's to recover enough to realize what had been going on.

[@WatchfulHunter]

Fake Christians.

[@humanengineer812]

Narcissist smear campaign mate

[@martinf2740]

Same here. Every marriage counselling attempt ended the moment the counsellor started calling her on her schitt.

[@nerychristian]

The church women can sometimes be the worst women. They like to act self righteous and judgemental. And like to throw religion in a person's face when they want to make the man feel guilty. My mom was guilty of this. My mom would go to church like 4 times a week. And my dad would go once a week, because of his work schedule. And she would use this fact to act as if she was more spiritual because she went to church more. Another thing my mom would do is instigate a fight with my dad, and then my dad would argue back, she would say things like "And you call yourself a Christian!?? You're a hypocrite. You spend so much time reading the bible, yet you act this way!" That is one of the cruelest things a woman can say to her husband.

[@Walk_on_Part_In_a_War]

Nothing supports a narcissist like God being on their side.

[@cdstoc]

I've known so many women like this. My wife is nothing like this, these videos make me even more grateful for her.

[@markcritic2409]

lucky bugger. ;)

[@jasonsherwood7539]

Juuuuuusssst wait..... women can change, bro.... I used to say this about mine. Then she turned into a demon.

[@markcritic2409]

@@jasonsherwood7539 - after some months (or years) of her friends and family nagging her to "dump him! you can do better! get that hottie on the side!" she'll likely give in. 80% odds of it, statistics have shown.

[@codorin]

A rare gem she is.

[@hijaovercomer5500]

God has blessed you and don’t listen the curses that are coming out of the envious and hurt men commenting here ! Enjoy your wife , pray for her and your marriage and be HAPPY ! I’m a wife and I have been toxic , but after much prayer God showed me this channel and I’m changing , my husband is FOREVER THANKFUL with God and with this lady Karyn for making this helpful videos ! We women are not bad necessarily , we are hurt , ignorant and society is not helping us because nowadays they are glorifying the disrespect to men, but this lady is doing the Lord’s work! There are many women ( just like me ) that are interested in having a great marriage , but ignorance has been consuming us all ! Have a blessed day !

[@aaronbrodsky5527]

Gentlemen.... She's not lying. My ex would do this then actually record my reaction on her phone. I'm a veteran with complex ptsd and this isn't just despicable it's dangerous and as Karen says, it's cruel and downright sinister. My ex didn't play any of the recordings until after i left and she made the mistake of playing one from early in the marriage. She had months of counseling that she could have played these in, and didn't. I left her and got my own help and realized finally that it was ME getting abused. NO ONE deserves this kind of passive aggression. It's evil and the women who perpetrate it need help

[@Neoteny374]

Thank you for your service, Sir.

[@zeeski7454]

Good thing you left while you still could.

[@gc4644]

Stay strong bro, you did nothing wrong. To save your sanity and preserve your peace you might consider going MGTOW for awhile. I did it and my life is absolutely wonderful, no drama no fights, just peace freedom and solitude.

[@chesskinge4627]

​@@gc4644It's like the lesson from War Games the only way to win is not to play!

[@LePetiz]

The problem is that knowing that my wife is creating amo against me only makes me hate her more...what is the point of building the muscle? i know what she is talking about, i ve told my partner many times, she rather choses to look at what is best on me...or look at what is worst, its on her hands...

[@thebatman8895]

"Women, we all know that we do this". Thank you for saying this.

[@FairlightChristianna1Cor318]

No we don't. Some of us have done the hard work of breaking patterns and cycles and done the therapy so we can choose a different path for our marriages.

[@DIY-Bri]

@@FairlightChristianna1Cor318 Good for you. I mean it. :)

[@robertlopez8077]

Then she divorces you and takes half your assets and income. One more reason marriage is a fool’s errand.

[@WatchfulHunter]

Family court rewards wives who divorce. Government is anti family.

[@alexryan9869]

She took what you worked for because you never talked to an asset protection lawyer and protect what you have. She can only get her clothes half of the furniture and maybe a car.

[@joshcowden6163]

​@@alexryan9869that's not true though. A lot depends on what state you live in but in most she's entitled to at least half of what was accrued during the marriage. If she never worked she will be entitled to alimony and then the child support.

[@Chrono826]

Narcissism in men = Men who actually speak up about how they feel.

[@annarboriter]

Her feelings must be centered and prioritised. #gynocentrism Women only ask men to share their feelings as a means of getting around to the important issue as how listening to him discuss his feelings makes her feel

[@sarahsaville6829]

Thank you!!

[@thedarkestowl4224]

How dare you!😂

[@theironson1043]

Many women don't understand that emasculating men is actually very dangerous, if the man doesn't have enough emotional control it can cause him to lash out violently, even a good man..

[@j.p.5716]

99+% of every wife who has ever been hit by her husband has done this to cause it.

[@The1stGurehaundo]

Back in the 19th century, he would just raise his voice and slam his open hand on the table. Most of the time that's all it took. Now, that behaviour is considered "violeens..." 🙄.

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

Yeah times have changed, for the worst

[@danilaroche1156]

I think your right. I was emasculating my man but I didn't KNOW. It wasn't intentional at all! I know better now.

[@susanhaines7358]

Why would a good man allow it? No need to yell at anyone unless they are in danger

[@derpderpington5433]

My wife bitched me out constantly. I had to sit there and take it silently. If I said or did anything things would get worse. I would just die inside. The day in 2009 she wanted an open marriage was the day I finally told her no. Marriage over. Police removed me from my home 2 days later. She told the kids I ran away and died. She moved some dude into my home 3 days later. The court believed all her bs and I lost everything. I have been estranged from my children since 2014. I spent years in self doubt, close to self deletion, lived in a tent for a while, worked dead end jobs. For years I thought I was a failure. Along the way, I found hundreds of men, divorced good men the same as me. How could we all have failed? Thank you for making content giving us some insight into what happens in the months leading up to implosion.

[@The1stGurehaundo]

Good lesson here. If I could go back in time, I would say yes to the open m, then prepare my exit.

I didn't cry for the past 5 years. But when you cried, I did too. My ex-wife did all the nasty things you listed. Thank you for making me cry. I needed this ❤️

[@j.p.5716]

It can be healing to hear the truth and know that you are not the only one. Brother, you are NOT the only one.

[@Gotter-fj3pq]

Right here with you on this

[@WatchfulHunter]

My Mom would nag, accuse, blame, shame and insult my Dad, she thought privately, but we as kids could hear her loud, piercing, hateful voice. Then we could hear Dad defend himself in exaspiration. He was a pastor. But she never supported him. She was beautiful and kind to us as long as we didn't cross her. She pretended everything was wonderful in public. But hell broke loose inside the house and inside the car. It was always Mom suggesting we do something that cost a lot of money, then Dad objecting, then Mom emasculating Dad in front of us in the car. We had to be quiet or side with her for survival as kids. I can still hear her scream his name over and over as she roamed through house looking for him. I felt very sorry for him. Why I married a quiet wife. She scared all of us all the time. No one dared to cross her. My goal in life was to turn 18 so I could flee that assylum.

[@peanutnutter1]

Sounds like NPD

[@maureenryan2138]

There are women and men both who act like this!

[@nerychristian]

My mom was the same way. She would go to church like 4 times a week. Yet she was always acting self righteous and talking bad about my dad. Women love to use religion to compare themselves to a man. They think that because they go to church a lot, she is more religious.

[@lannonrown2145]

Same as my childhood

[@nerychristian]

Sadly, the only way those women will change is if they are shamed. Someone needs to record them while they are acting hysterical, then show it to the public, so that they can realize how bad they are acting.

[@TheSchmuel]

My God- I have never heard a 100% more accurate description of my marriage. Im totally blown away right now.

[@michaelsmith1364]

Same here. Thought I was crazy going through it but now I know I wasn’t the one at fault most the time. Used to try and tell my wife how things made me feel but of course never listened to or considered

[@Bkamron]

Dude, been there... it's scary how spot on this is. The words she uses like push buttons is what I also used to use. Damn!!! Felt at one point I was possibly losing it and my reality was actually insanity.

[@timizo691]

I don’t even know what to say. This is what my ex-wife did to me to the letter. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. There was a part of me that was convinced that I was a bad person. She made me believe it. I have even wished at times for death because I thought i was a bad person. She knew what buttons to push and she push them. She would attack my character as a husband, and as a father. Knowing that the problem is within her, knowing that she hates her self makes me feel sad for her. I am so grateful for this channel.

[@petemorton8403]

For 27 years was happily married, she never was, but it all was in her head. Her mother & sisters put all that in her head, all were divorced. All men are bad is the teaching, use them for what you can take. I've heard "you don't like it, to bad" a hundred times. She'd set me up using "that phone call" many times. Never did they take me. She finally cheats with this HIV positive sweetalker out for the assets I'd built. He was Destitute from destroying his family. I had a guy feeling throughout our marriage she was sleeping with others as well. I had to file. Then he becomes her false accuse witness. They take my life's work & it now ran into the ground. It was to be passed to our kids, I just hope they are, probably I'm just the dad on paper. It is so treacherous what a wife can do and still be rewarded, I mean "Awarded" for.

[@DIY-Bri]

I'm grateful for Karyn's channel too.

[@jackgoodings]

I did both. I shrank down at first. Then, over the years, I defended myself and now my kids who have been turned against me believe I'm an aggressive man. They don't see how good a dad and husband I was. I raised my voice at the children at times, when I was trying to get them to do what my then-wife wanted, her impatience palpable and that made me treat my children very differently to when I was alone with my children. I ended up leaving so that my kids and me could have a loving peaceful environment with structure and boundaries and guidance and correction and fun and patience and good solid parenting. My then-wife completely used it all against me, and my children now have no relationship with me. I even smacked my son on his bum once after warning him .. never before, never since, totally out of character, and my son lives with that and it's been heightened to show me as aggressive and unsafe. She would say she was afraid I'd get in a fight, that completely confused me because I was passive to folk generally, I'd learned to fawn in my life. What these women do is disgusting and they should be ashamed of what they did. Our kids suffer now, and these women have wrecked everything

[@thehappywifeschool]

Thank you for your comment and sharing so honestly. Bless you.

[@JackAsiaNomad]

My situation is very similar to yours , finally divorced and my two kids (17 & 19) now have nearly no relationship with me. My ex-wife's dad killed himself when she was 16 yo ... almost impossible to get passed her trauma.

[@bogan-slayer7469]

@@thehappywifeschool In Australia the government is looking at introducing a “coercion” law; meaning husbands can be charged with coercing their wife into ANYTHING. Yet for a Millenia, women have evolved to be experts at coercion and manipulation to get exactly what they want. The laws are going insane.

[@markcritic2409]

@@bogan-slayer7469 - and the women wonder why almost no men will get married anymore...

[@bogan-slayer7469]

@@markcritic2409 Exactly.

[@caropreso911]

The truth spoken here almost brought me to tears. Women , what is the end game exactly? Are you going to happy when you get what you want, whatever that may be.

[@EagleZtoTheGrave]

The end game for most is to take the car, & instead of finding a nice destination or ride through the countryside? Do burnouts, figure 8's & donuts until the wheels fall off making sure no man will ever take the wheel, a whole lot of smoke, but going nowhere 😂

[@BillyBob-lt5nr]

Don't be ridiculous. What woman ever knew what she really wanted?

[@MGP2210]

Perhaps many of them are motivated by the opportunity to hurt others. Do not operate on the assumption that "most people are good'. I prefer, "most people are not that bad, all the time."

[@The1stGurehaundo]

To them, it is the journey, not the destination. The journey in this case, is attention and sympathy, validation. The destination is unknown to them but it involves a daily box or two of Franzia box wine and a lot of kitty litter to clean.

[@thermalreboot]

I've face bullies all my life, but I've only know true cruelty from women. Male bullies are stupid and clumsy, but women have a real mean streak and the willingness to get deeply cruel.

[@danilaroche1156]

I think your generalizing. My dad was incredibly cruel. I've been mean to my man but it was never intentional. Just my unhealed childhood trauma that I'm working on with the help of Jesus.

[@thermalreboot]

@@danilaroche1156 How am I generalizing? This is my experience. The cruelest people I've ever known have all been women.

[@danilaroche1156]

For me it's been the men I've been with. My dad was a pedophile so I had been traumatized. I needed healing and I subconsciously attracted mean men. Maybe you need healing? I'm a woman and I'm kind. I want to live with integrity and righteousness.

[@danilaroche1156]

For me it's been the men I've been with. My dad was a pedophile so I had been traumatized. I needed healing and I subconsciously attracted mean men. Maybe you need healing? I'm a woman and I'm kind. I want to live with integrity and righteousness.

[@Alarik52]

Same here. The physical abuse my step father delivered I hated when young. But after my 20's, I realized his abuse was only skin deep and far more temporary. Women go for the throat and heart and try to destroy the core of a person. The scars they leave, last far longer. Even turning your friends and family against you with lies and tears. I'll take the obvious jerk, over a devil disguised as an angel.

[@Sir_Viver]

I've learned that women create the case, build the case, then execute the case all to get the cash and prizes awarded to her in the divorce that SHE initiates. Sorry, not gonna do it again!

[@stayanddrown]

I'm a man, and I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying this out loud in such a clear and concise way. What you described right here has ended many of my past relationships and caused a lot of pain and confusion in my life. Thank you so much. You're a saint. I'm glad people like you are out there.

[@steveos5112]

Karen you are the first person who described my 28 years of marriage. I spent the last 6 years since my divorce trying to put the pieces together, trying to answer all those questions I had regarding what happened in my marriage. My ex-wife was a very contemptuous woman. I realize now on the outside she appeared to be a very strong woman but in reality she was a low value woman.I had to be honest with myself and admit that. I didn’t realize at the time (although I felt something was wrong and felt like I was always walking on eggshells). I was not a perfect husband but I know I was a good husband and father. Unfortunately I fell into the trap you described in this video to a “T”. She would (on a daily basis), complain, put me down, or emasculate me. I too am a former Marine, I have a spine, so I would push back (not physically) or become angry from her constant put downs and contemptuous behavior. And now I learn from you she used my reaction against me. This makes sense to me now. If only I knew this way back when. I’ve listened to thousands of RP content. Karen, have brought me some closure and peace in describing exactly what happened between my ex-wife and me. There is so much I could say about what happened, but for now I just want to say thank you Karen for being brave to talk about this very subject.

[@ATStoker]

Brother thank you for sharing. I am currently being divorced from a very similar sounding woman. I’ve sent her this video still hoping to abort this whole process. Honestly, though I know at this moment that the divorce is likely in My best but interest I just can’t get beyond the feeling that I need to protect her from herself. She’s walking away with a substantial amount of bank and I seem to just not to be worth the effort. I stand accused of being a narcissist, controlling and coercive she says I’m angry and on the verge of violence even though I’ve never laid a hand on any person in my 55 years. 33 year marriage destroyed 40+ year relationship gone, all our memories so tarnished. I can’t believe I find myself here. Please pray for me. Tell me you are happy now.

[@steveos5112]

@@ATStoker Hey Bro, thanks for sharing as well. I’m sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I’m sure you understand this is not where we expected to be at this time in our life. I stayed for the kids hoping to protect them from my ex-wife’s nastiness. She got half my 401k even though she never contributed to her own. Many times I begged her to get her 401k going because we will need it BOTH in retirement. But she knew better and decided to forego benefits in lieu of cash now. She is a nurse. I understand that divorce is scary for you now. All the unknowns are overwhelming. We had to sell the home which broke my heart among other things. It is where we raised our children . I can tell you being on the “otherside” there is hope! It’s been 6 years since my divorce. Over this time I healed, my I am slow to heal. But I also began a search for answers as to why my marriage failed and especially why my ex-wife was so contemptuous throughout our 35+ years relationship. We didn’t have the internet or content like Karen’s back then. We didn’t understand what was going on in our relationships. It wasn’t until I heard from many different men on YT that we share similar stories of our wives and/or girlfriends. You are not alone. I can say that I am at peace. I live alone but I’m not lonely. I’m happy as I don’t have someone putting me down on a daily basis. Sometimes , mostly little things. The appreciation or gratitude was nonexistent. I did my husband and father duties responsibly. It didn’t matter to her. Now it just feels good to live in peace and solitude. Financially, I have recovered well. I live in a great place, with no debt. I enjoy my time with hobbies and fishing with friends. I learned how to cook for myself and I consider myself a good cook now. This particular video by Karen IS what happened to me. It answers some of the lingering questions I had. It brings peace and closure to me. I can move on finally. I’ll pray for you. You are not alone. Things will get better, I promise. Hang in there. If you need to talk maybe we can exchange emails or something. It will get better, I promise you! Take care.

[@gc4644]

​@@ATStokerstay strong brother, your a good man and your stronger than you think. I was treated the same as you (in a 20 year marriage) by a heartless condescending narcissist whom ended up divorcing me. 8 years later, after I got her cleared out of my system and head, I now can think straight and am totally enjoying life with my freedom, no drama, peace and solitude! I can leave a fork in the sink without worrying about WW3 breaking out. I say all this to give you encouragement in that you WILL get thru this and you will have a happy peaceful your future. After the divorce I would advice you to go MGTOW for awhile to get your head together and simply enjoy life that you've missed out on due to having a wackjob wife..

[@The1stGurehaundo]

Semper Fi.

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

@@ATStoker I could have written this. Even the years spent are almost exact. Something in me still compels me to try to save her from herself. I wish I could extinguish that urge. She is truly contemptuous.

[@mikey92362]

Never in my life have i met a divorced woman who didn't say her husband was a narcissist, controlling, and verbally abusive. Literally every single one. True narcissists are kinda rare. And women file for 70-90% of divorces. So essentially almost all divorced women are full of crap. Most of them left a good man because they confused contentment with boredom. So they tell you nonsense about their ex so you'll be fooled into thinking they weren't the problem. They want you to bail them out for their poor decisions. Don't fall for it!

[@ATStoker]

Wow, I could have written this exact statement myself. Thank you.

Interestingly enough, my ex really _was_ married to a narcissist (as in diagnosed, triggering childhood trauma identified, the whole nine yards) and not _once_ did she say that he was a narcissist. It was when she described some of his behaviours that _I_ said that I thought he could possibly be a narcissist... that's when she confirmed that he had indeed been diagnosed with NPD. Other than her, yeah, I'd say it's more the general rule that all ex's are narcissists and sociopaths. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@GerardIrvine]

Never date a single mother.

[@damianwright3690]

@@GerardIrvine Not without vetting them. They could be a genuine good person (and widow), though in today's environment that would be a long stretch to find.

[@lannonrown2145]

It seems that I can only echo this too. Moved countries and what she said at the start of our relationship and what she says 25 years later has changed. I stayed because my parents got divorced and I wanted to be better than my parents. Turns out I was raised by a single mom that controlled me. Need to get help to keep calm around her at all times. Thank you for posting comments, happy 2024

[@MonteCarloMartin]

Wow this is exactly what my soon to be ex wife did. She literally called me while I was in a business trip screaming, yelling, and acting completely outrageous and out of control about some things I did years ago. I remember I tried to ask her to calm down and talk to me instead of disrespecting me for literally over an hour. She continued to over talked me, disrespect, yell, scream, curse me out and upset the children. Finally I had enough, I reacted very angrily even more than she was. She used that against me as a reason to leave before I came back from my trip. This was September of 2023. She’s still gone and now we are going through divorce. I definitely lost control. And she plays it like I’m this horrible guy because I lost my cool. Now everyone thinks I’m a monster in our family. Not knowing the role she played and how she intentionally provoked me. This is very hurtful to have to go through. Here’s the big kicker. After our argument and calming down I called her back and asked her can we seek marriage counseling and you wouldn’t believe it but she started yelling and screaming again because I asked about counseling. At that point I knew she was looking for a way out and looking to upset me to get me to say horrible things because she knows exactly what to do to get me going. Very hurtful especially when she plays the victim. Sometime life sucks as a man.

[@maninthehills7134]

I dated someone for 15 months who was like this. We were traveling and she was berating me in the rental car. I opened my notepad app on my phone and listed the words she used to describe me as she said them. After a 15-minute diatribe I showed her my list and said, "So this is is what you think of me? I think if I showed this to your therapist without her knowing it was you, she'd see this as a problem. Do you think this is okay?" She truly had difficulty recognizing her toxicity as such.

[@24karatekid]

Did she flip the script on you, blame you for her outburst and say "how dare you record me?"

[@StarfleetGrad]

This is a message i needed to hear 15 years ago. This is exactly what my wife did. Ruined the marriage, my relationship with my daughter, destroyed friendships, and forced me to change churches constantly. It was my Family Law lawyer, who was a kind and understanding lady, who shared with me similar advice. Ill never get those years back but she no longer can take future ones away.

[@TephaRhi]

As a woman I find this so refreshing. I’ve had to learn the hard way and do my own research on how to be happy and be a good wife. I was hoping you could do a video on the root cause of why women are so unhappy with terrible relationships with themselves. I believe it stems from a lack of a good relationship with their father.

[@thehappywifeschool]

@tepharhi Thank you for your comment and great question - I made it the topic for my upcoming livestream this afternoon at 3:00 pm ET.

[@nachodaisuki91]

No. Blaming your own selfishness on your father? You still have "man blaming" mind set in you.

[@alexanderhamilton8585]

It’s your nature. You have to protect your eggs. You have to be defensive suspicious of all men and weed out any whiff of weakness. Strength, to you, is any man who is UNIMPRESSED with you. Who, basically, doesn’t like you. If a man likes you, you get creeped out and you despise them. That’s your NATURE. Doesn’t mean you have to follow it.

[@jwarrior9986]

@sugebejanai is right. Healing is on the other side of taking full accountability for everything. Others may have played a role, but you steered. You will forever be a hapless victim unless you take accountability and stop placing the blame elsewhere. Too much of therapy is focused on being a victim. Not enough of it is focused on taking control of your own situation. When you are blaming others, you are giving yourself a pass for your own bad behaviors.

[@Eric-dd8bk]

​@@jwarrior9986 And it's usually the mother planting bad thaughts and images of the father into the child's head, kicking the father out, and then turning around and making the father the bad guy and a negligent and absent father. Which is what my mother did to me and my sister. It had no effect on my own image of my father but she sure did succeed turning my sister away from him. At least during her teen years. Now that she is working, she kind of understands what it would have been like for her father but, still very dumb to be persuaded by only half the picture that our mother was giving us.

[@chimmy___]

For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm.

[@fullthrottlegirl1111]

Well said...

[@sherrydaigneau8683]

This is very true are spouse is not the enemy either one of them

[@lcmd7833]

The very best marital analysis and information I’ve ever seen anywhere!

[@raymondarcher4816]

It breaks my heart because my wife left after almost 20 years of marriage for all the reasons you’ve mentioned ( on this video and others). I tried my best to get her to stay but she couldn’t see that I wasn’t to blame and that it was her unhealthy relationship with herself and her unhappiness that was the issue. I still love her deeply and I always will but it’s too late unfortunately. I don’t think she’ll ever realize she lost a great guy.

[@alexanderhamilton8585]

Nope. They never do. My first love I contacted her 3 times over 26 years. She had a miserable life. Promiscuous, drugs, bankruptcies, horrible life. I offered to come back in her life and fix everything. Her Mom said to me one time: walking back to my car: “I want you to marry my daughter” “Me too” Her life quickly took an incredibly dark turn right after that Years later, she ascended from this would by her own hand. I’m a Marine. I would slay DRAGONS for her. She chose her mothers 3rd husband to have a baby with. Who never helped her anyways. She actually married some unsuspecting kid and lied and said the kid was his, when it wasn’t. Such a treacherous, horrible woman she turned out to be. But here I am, still thinking about her all these years later.

[@helltarrist]

​@@alexanderhamilton8585Well don't, Alexander. I hope you are well now.

[@kigzman1745]

@alexanderhamilton8585 don't feel bad. Sounds like u might have cptsd. I was in a similar situation, but I'm glad. I saw the light. I value myself more then to end up with someone like tht.

[@MonteCarloMartin]

I hear you man. Went through the same thing. I’m still hurt about it. Hopefully we heal and meet better women

[@kweku144]

CPTSD?

[@fortunateson3387]

Thank you Karyn for your honesty, bravery, and accurate portrayal of women’s ways to control and emasculate their husbands.

[@clivethomas9816]

I finally recognized these patterns in my marriage of 23 years with children that had become adults, I literally dropped the keys and walked away. There was no way to reconcile, nor recover, and no desire on my part to continue to “fight” a battle I could never win. Karen is extraordinarily brave for discussing these toxic patterns of behavior and as was apparent resonate emotionally. At the time I left I did not have the clarity of understanding that Karen offers here, but just realized that enough was enough of a bad situation. It is through her words that I now look back and have a better context for understanding exactly what was happening.

[@petemorton8403]

I'd be told "marriage counseling", finally I went. Insurance is expensive & I'm working to save not blow it on an "expert". A hard day then go meet with a lady in an office full of antiques. Of course she is on it to get paid. She 100% focuses on me, what wrongs I do. I'm sitting there flooded by all this. I've none nothing wrong. It is all this that Karen is saying. But I'm told "well talk about that on "our NEXT session". It is a no way to win. Normal family is ruined by her knowing rewards await. She has no reason to look inward.

[@bosendorfer6268]

It’s too bad the majority of the people watching this are probably men. She’s a humble and good woman who figured out how to be a better person.

[@riblets1968]

As the man who's been in that position at least twice, I can confidently state that there's only one rational reaction: leave. You're not going to convince her that she's wrong and that you're a good guy, and worthy of love and respect. Once she has adopted the position that you don't respect her, invalidate her, make her unhappy, that you don't do enough, that you always do and say the wrong things, that you're incapable of doing the right things; it's all over in all but name. The best that you can do is foreshorten the misery.

[@j.p.5716]

Video tape it and show you family and friends. Then show it to her in their presence.

[@quentinvanahee9932]

It is encouraging to hear you speak to other woman about reality. As a man who desired nothing more than to protect his family, I've been exiled from normal society and will only be allowed back in when I submit to the lie. Sadly enough, nothing will change until the laws change to reflect individual responsibilities. The only protection we have available is to opt out in order to protect a possible future family from harm of a sick society. I hope to see the day woman will protest against these laws that the ultimately end up destroying themselves and their children. I'm deeply saddened to watch the consequences of these insecure woman and hope that many woman will start hearing your passion.

[@jamesjonnes]

Every man should have a bodycam and record everything 24/7 to prove their innocence, even when the accusation isn't criminal it can be very damaging.

[@The1stGurehaundo]

At work, maybe. But 24/7 at home? Better alone than deal with that.

[@OneSevenandTwentyplus]

A small voice activated recorder is less conspicuous and is almost as effective. Just for the safeguard of false domestic violence claims. If your relationship is in trouble, you need this. Protect yourself at all times !

[@ART-kp9cn]

True- the truth gets twisted and distorted so easily.

[@AverageReptiles]

Just because a men yells it dosent mean he is a narcissist or abusing.

[@MaoMaoMEW]

yeah

[@hurricaneaquatics]

He yells because you have emasculated him and he is super frustrated from your gaslighting and withholding sex.

[@MaoMaoMEW]

@@hurricaneaquatics um what?

[@davebuehner4307]

I didn’t marry my wife to fight against her, but to fight beside her. When she attempts to usurp the household hierarchy, I can choose to fight against her, or choose escape the conflict. If I choose to fight against her, I risk being accused of some flavor of abuse and face real life consequences experienced even outside of the home. Escape might mean passivity or immersion into alcohol, porn, video games, golf or hobbies, all places where their is no conflict and a brief peace can be found. The wise Solomon stated A rebellious wife is a no win. Note Proverbs 27:15-16 “A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand.” In other words if you put your husband in a no win situation, don’t be surprised when he seeks to escape that situation. That is why emasculating him with labels like “passive” only pushes him to retreat further, retreat is preferable to war especially when the war is unwinable and the collateral dame could be catastrophic.

[@hijaovercomer5500]

😭😭😭😭, God forgive us women ! So sorry to read this Sr!

[@davebuehner4307]

@@hijaovercomer5500. While the elect are indeed forgiven in Christ, (as far as the east is from the west), that does in no way mitigates the temporal suffering that sin levies on others. In fact, being forgiven is sufficient cause to mortify sin especially sin against a husband who is Christ’s appointed authority and covenant representative. “…where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness… What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” Rom 5:20 & 6:1. Thus a Christian wife, living in the power of Christ’s abounding grace and the security of having received forgiveness, ought to exemplify a submissive helpmeet to her husband, never contentious but subordinate as his lover, homemaker, mother to his children and the object of his sexual interest and fulfillment. The union of a husband and wife is to picture Christ and the church, not a competition or transactional friendship. A contentious wife is a picture of an ungrateful and unrepentant sinner that thinks they are entitled to grace.

[@ninjaspam2000]

Thank you for this video. It allowed me to put words into the phenomenon of pain collecting.

[@chipsteve]

I dated my ex girlfriend for about half a year, then gave her commitment, then she fundamentally changed & everything got worse (roller coaster, there were good times of course - that's the trauma bond "strengthening"). After one bizarre episode that contradicted everything she had told me for 6 months, I went with her for one session to her therapist of *10 years*. That therapist did not know about her regular day-to-day behavior, vices etc. After the session my ex got mad at me for casually referring to that behavior in front of her therapist. Turns out the therapist was just an enabler giving her comfort & justification for 10 years of toxic behavior & destroying her family, while not even truly knowing who my ex was / how she acted IRL.

[@chrislim7976]

Therapists get paid either way; why make things difficult at work.

[@Mattheus217]

Wow, 10 years and still not fixed

[@jeffmate1]

Men: Don't become emasculated and don't give away your power. And don't compromise her integrety or values either. Don't get angry or withdraw whenever your partner is trying to express herself. Listen carefully and dig deep to understand what she is trying to tell you. The challenge is to interpret the 101 messages and emotions she is giving out and find the core issue. Keep asking questions and repeat back a summary of your interpretation to confirm if she agrees. Don't forget to express what you want and need and find a place to meet in the middle. You can both talk and listen and work together to preserve each others happiness.

[@racebannon96]

I remember there were times I got yelled at by the wife for not reading her mind. Also, I got yelled at for putting some of our money into our savings account. The wife wanted to have massive credit card debt like everyone else we knew. After 10 years, she left us. I helped her pack her stuff.

[@Handleitnow933]

This behavior is so evil. I always wondered how a women can be so kind and out going to friends and strangers but treat their man like disposable garbage. It’s really narcissistic. If you’re a good kind person with one person why is your man excluded??? Narcissist to the point of destroying children’s lives, devaluing a husband to his kids and gossip is so wrong. I’ve been through this, still recovering from years of abuse and now being held from my daughter. I received it all. Emasculated, lied to, devalued, gas lighted for years. My health was on the ground. I eventually left and doing so I left my daughter. I can’t I just can’t.

[@gc4644]

I hear you brother, I was in the same boat with a heartless condescending narcissistic wife of 20 years. Your stronger than you think, divorce is hard and incredibly painful, but when your wife is an incorrigible narcissistic wackjob, getting away from her to save your own health and sanity should be considered. If you do divorce, PLEASE look up your local chapter of Divorce care, its Christian counciling for recent divorces, it truly saved me years of pain and healing.

[@Eric-dd8bk]

That's why I only do short dates and never get serious with a girl that easily. I know what they do once they think they got the man. They start to treat him like a servant when they demand that he provides for them and protects them. So they wanna be treated like a queen while they wanna treat their mn like a servant. That's true narcissism right there.

[@John_Wood_]

@@Eric-dd8bk Correct. My ex wife treats her parents as slaves and she wanted me as a slave also. When I refused she divorced.

[@uprightmovement]

He’s probably on the verge of going insane because of her Narcissism.

[@simjam1980]

Exactly! My ex became a whore, then would shame me as controlling, jealous and insecure and call me abusive for being angry about it. Of course, she didn't even want me talking to any other women. What a psychopath.

[@ahmani23]

I am currently in a marriage where if i don't do what my wife wants, to her, i am a bad person. If i don't meet her expectations, i am bad and less. I get angry and react mostly negatively with words as this is the only way i can vent my anger. My father died and my siblings and I agreed not to share his money or property but use the money to start a business and turn his properties to business assets and we pay ourselves salaries as the owners of the business. My wife was angry with us for that decision. She wanted us to share the money, and we used my share for our family. To this day, I don't understand how what my siblings and i decided to do with our inheritance has to do with her. she painted us as useless people, we got free money and will squander it. sometimes i dream i divorced her

[@khanhcao3123]

Why don't you. Man up

[@j.p.5716]

Just stop doing what she wants you to do. That is a start.

[@Chrono826]

Thank you for making this by the way. This runs very deep in our culture and our society. Men are not allowed to speak up about how we feel. This goes into the empathy gap that favors women against men. Thank you for validating how men feel and letting us know it's ok to be strong and stand up for ourselves.

[@cowboy101lisa]

Lived this for constant provocation for 15 years. Thank God it’s 20 years behind me. Took her years to crush me to the point of death and build her legend for public support. Thankful God for giving me a GOOD woman to walk beside me, let and me heal.

[@Guildofarcanelore]

I found that when I was being provoked and was starting to lose my composure I would leave. I told her I would come back later. She asked me once were I would go. There are some batting cages near a golf course. I would go there to bash some baseballs. You can’t hit and be too much in your head, so it’s “therapeutic”. I took my wife with me once when we weren’t arguing. I think it helped that the guy knew me buy name. He even gave her a free token. Which is fair given how much business she created..😉

[@mikey92362]

I don't think giving my ex wife a baseball bat would have ever been a smart idea! OMG! Bad enough I had to dodge all the punches and dishes thrown at my head! Survived 25 years of it! I developed the reflexes of a Jedi! LOL Glad she was never near a bat when the rage hit her!

[@Guildofarcanelore]

@@mikey92362 note, I only put a bat in her hand with a witness..😉

[@The1stGurehaundo]

That explains why they get so mad when man leaves in the middle of an argument. It blocks her build-a-victim-of-violence-case strategy. She would like you to stay until she makes you raise your voice so that she can play victim.

[@jimjohnson394]

Honestly, that was how I dealt with it when I sensed I was being provoked. It seemed to help. I would just take the dog for a walk, some walks longer than others. It is not a bad strategy.

[@jimjohnson394]

@@The1stGurehaundo Imagine how much easier it would be if the state would side with us when they raise their voice.

[@ballen0360]

Great content. This is very relatable and not something anyone ever discusses. Thank you for bringing light to this.

[@nachodaisuki91]

I work hard to make sure that my family is provided, maybe not doing exactly the 50% of all household chores, I'm a bum and not contributing anything to the family. I cut down work and do more of the household duties, cutting down my income, I'm a bum and not contributing anything to the family. I spend more time with my family, cutting down on work, I'm a bum. I work hard to provide for the family, forsaking a little bit of family time, I'm a bum.

[@KCBCollier]

Best way to get through to guys: don’t learn not to react for her sake. This is about protecting your peace. Not giving others the tools they need to hurt you.

[@reidbtable]

My God.....she explained so much that I relate to...this is why I gave my ex-Wife grace. Because I understood this. But...to no avail. And you absolutely start believing you are a terrible person. It is insidious and damaging. Thank you.

[@BillyBob-lt5nr]

My sister is a good woman. I call her up, tell her how my wife is describing me and she reassures me it's ridiculous. Unfortunately, she is so uncomfortable with male sexuality, I don't know if she'll ever find a guy she doesn't see as a "creep."

[@AlsoLizard]

I appreciate you made this and it's about time a woman points these things out, however, I will never give a woman the opportunity to take advantage of me like this again. I'll only live for myself from now til the rest of my life.

[@MonteCarloMartin]

Me too. I feel you bro

[@innerpeace5913]

Hi Karen. I'm a Psychotherapist and am touched by your emotional honesty. Listening to you, I feel heard and understood as a man doing his best to be a good husband and father. That's a new experience! I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother who abused my father in most of the ways you describe. He lost all his joie de vivre and became effectively subordinate to her before getting Alzheimers. Only then was he able to live in his own world. My own marriage is better, thank goodness but I'm still able to see the desire to control, be cruel and offer no support when I need it. Sex has always been used as a weapon. I only get it when it suits her, yet its the one thing that I really need. Your comment about women projecting their own issues onto their husbands/partners resonated strongly with me. Whilst I'm fully in agreement that women and men are equal, they are unquestionably different and it strikes me that if women could see that those differences can complement one another, then couples would be infinitely happier. I'm curious what it was that spurred you to make these videos, in a world that does not value what men need and where many women are unable to empathise with their men?

[@stevenhickey9453]

My God. I cannot believe the way you describe exactly what my marriage has been like the entire time. I spent the entire time constantly re-examining myself, despite being sure that in all fairness, the incident wasn't me or was not what she thought was occurring, and in which no reasonable person could see it her way. Even in cases where it was black and white that I did nothing to warrant this abusive vitriolic attack. I would always walk away from it trying to understand what else I could do to avoid triggers for her, to ensure that nothing in my behaviours or lack of actions was going to make her feel insecure in any way. Bit by bit I kept giving ground as any other course of action, including withdrawing and minimising myself which was always labled "passive-aggressive", triggered yet another attack of yelling abuse, throwing things and various threats about the marriage and the kids. I knew there was only so much time I could take away from work, only so many days I could work from home, only so many shopping sprees I could support, let alone the complete abandonment of the male friendships that I'd maintained since primary school and virtually any contact with my father and my siblings and their families. I was the arrogant, controlling, aggressive self-interested, non-empathetic unfeeling bastard. She ensured her thereapist's were all informed accordingly, her friends and family as well. Still she moved out because I was too hurtful to be near any more. And now her rent and bills are all a problem and that's my fault too.

[@nobledarkmoon]

One thing is she is poking you to test your boundaries. This situation usually occurs on the level of respect. She is unsure whether to respect you. These baiting games usually are a sign she is losing respect for you. You need to stop asking why. Leave and come back. If she is an entitled brat, you need to be on your game with boundaries and limits, otherwise she will walk all over you. You need to be the mature one, and even set punishments for a brat. The brat didn't respect you!

[@gc4644]

Me too. Listening to Karen's fantastic videos has taught me one thing about women, it is absolutely mind-boggling as to the lengths & depths women will go to to avoid accountability and shift/spin the narrative so the man is ALWAYS the bad guy. After my divorce (of a 20 year marriage) I've decided to go MGTOW, and can honestly say my life has never been better. No drama, no condescending comments or fights,, just peace and solitude.

[@WatchfulHunter]

This is a good woman who has found her good self.

[@michaelking4578]

This is the kind of awareness information that could have saved my ex from past and future divorces.

[@snowplow7883]

Yeah I wasn’t smart enough in the middle of my marriage to respond appropriately to the emasculation… but the second best day of my life was when my divorce I filed was final.

[@ricks341]

Another wonderful video! I wish I would have understood these things while my wife was alive. I wish I would have been unprovable. I wish I would have been stoic when provoked. Thanks for sharing!

[@jaydixson1731]

This sounds like my wife. She lied to our psychiatrist

[@JJMills-yl1zj]

🎯🙌🏾 W😳W‼️ This is SO encouraging for me to hear another woman, YOU are a God send to so many men who are scapegoated by narcissistic women. God Bless you and other women who are honest enough to admit what we need to hear. You are helping me through this healing process. THANKS again 💯💞

[@MrListen2meplez]

Great video Karyn…thanks for helping to expose a common root of marital trauma. Those tears in your eyes (compassion for the horror stories you have heard are not in vain). Unfortunately many good men have been sacked, plundered and left as a carcass (by a wife who made an oath before God to love, honor and obey her husband)…Many men have had their wife file for divorce against them for such unconscionable petty things as raising his voice to his wife (as a response to the wife instigating strife). Modern counselors who give wives an easy path to divorce, to plundering their hardworking, loving husband (when he has committed nothing more than a mild offense) will be held accountable to a higher power in the God’s final judgement, higher than any human court. But especially those wives will be held accountable. Men should remain calm, stoic and peaceful in the face of adversity, knowing that God has said about Himself, “vengeance is mine, I will repay”.

[@turbo1gts]

We had a female counselor about 15 years ago that seemed biased against me. I kept presenting my case and she finally realized how my wife was. Not that I was perfect myself, but now I can see that. We are separated now, working on things. But, I got served papers in the mail several months ago. I almost signed them after arguing about it for some days, but then we had a conversation in which she realized she hadn't given the new me a chance, and hadn't done as much work as she could have done, and was about to take away the family's best chance of reconciliation. She seemed to realize that path was not rainbows and gumdrops and angel babies, and agreed to suspend the proceedings. She should be cancelling it soon, but we will see. I asked her a few weeks ago if she felt as if she was under judgement before she decided to cancel. She said yes. With her losing jobs and being sick and "life keeps coming at her" I know God was steering her back on the straight and narrow. I know he did that to me before she left! So, yes, He hates divorce, and vengeance is His.

[@MonteCarloMartin]

Oh lord please handle it

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

Please note that in many churches, the honor and obey thing has been removed from the marital vows.

[@BalakeHart-nh4xh]

Raising our voice means we are assertive and wanting to make a very important point..and tired of a women's additude.

[@Bernard.Daniel]

Best Option for men is to Not be too emotionally invested to where She can Control your emotions. Fellas, We have to be one with ourselves & happy within our purpose not to depend on ANYONE to validate us. Let's goo!

[@GregtheGrey6969]

Yes!

[@GregtheGrey6969]

Lettttts goooooo

[@j.p.5716]

Easier said than done.

[@IBNED]

Everyone is the blacksmith of their own happiness....

[@TheDissident77]

Yep. They start the fire then hand us the used match.

[@Gotter-fj3pq]

Never heard it so aptly put.

[@darrylpatterson1091]

You nailed in. I wish that this would be seen by women everywhere. Why is it never talked about? There is so much I would like to say which I cannot but thank you so much.

[@mztokyo7630]

Thank you for your honesty. It takes a lot of courage to admit your faults. It is amazing how poorly women and girls treat/ bully other women and little girls when in elementary school. Is This behavior innate or learned?? Remember that movie “Mean Girls “? It is tough to be a man; no matter what we are damned. My wife provokes/ incites arguments. JUST RECORD EVERYTHING LIKE JOHNNY DEPP!!

[@donfranklin6956]

That's the look. Nailed it. 🙂

[@energy5351]

Truth is never afraid to come under examination. Lord you spitting that firetruth on feminism, misandry, gynocentrism, individualism and independence self preservation. The games women have been playing for centuries now is EXPOSED. We love you and your ministry ❤❤❤❤🌏🌏🌏💎💎💎🦾🦾🦾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔨🔨

[@damianwright3690]

Truth is never afraid to come under honest impartial examination. It is certainly afraid to come under examination if the examiner has already made up their mind, is dishonest, and/or doesn't care about the truth.

[@rob3oy658]

My default response is to turn around and choose myself. Thank you for your content. I almost cried too, but there are just no tears left.

[@breatheliveandthrive7404]

Sad but true. When they start provoking you, it means she wants to bail out from relationship. Stonewalling can be a defense when it comes to these type of women.

[@MonteCarloMartin]

Exactly. Well said

[@Bkamron]

God bless this woman... I have no idea how I can repay you for outlining exactly what I went through in my marriage, I did not back down, I come from a long line of proper men, my dad, my grandad all stood up for their masculinity. Went to a marriage counsellor, to hear that he suspects me of having NPD or traits at least to the point he said he was afraid of me and did not possess the skillset to deal with it. I was cut up, I began to believe, my life was over at least, he referred me to a therapist he claimed could handle me. This referral was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was awesome, my eyes were open and I owe this woman my happiness and sanity. I thank God for these experiences everyday. Woman, whoever the hell you are, I wish I could hug you! I needed to hear this from an honest woman. God bless you and everything you touch.

[@DustintheWindu]

I have never felt so seen by all these truths you put out in your videos. Every single one hits very deep for me. EVERY… SINGLE… ONE!!! I’m watching them to help me understand what’s happening and how I can do my part, but any idea how I can bring any of this up to my wife?

[@MonteCarloMartin]

You can’t. In her eyes she isn’t wrong. She will fight tooth and nail against this. Women never want to be the bad guy.

[@BoksCar29]

I'm in the first category of the emasculation, I am passive, and I do draw from the relationship. I have learned to live a separate life as much as possible, keeping conversation dull and boring. My wife is a provoker, she looks for anything to pick a fight and turns my reaction against me. My wife picks the fight and when I react, she insists that I apologize to her. I could go on but what's the point, it is what it is.

[@woodslife]

Fellas, Don't. Get. Married. Problem solved. These videos are refreshing. Good stuff. If your message reaches and changes just one girl, then you've succeeded. Thank you for the content.

[@amandlaawethu1538]

Thank U for this. I learned about 5 years or less that the woman (mommy) was the problem N the marriage. I as an individual see & study patterns (I can't help it). My then wife just kept doing the same things over & over pushing my buttons. Around 27 I saw what she was doing to me. I said to her, I can love U like nobody else on this earth, but I can't love U the way U (her) wants me to love U (her). I said to her back then, U want control, U want to B in charge. And I'm not cool with that. We stayed together for a while. I began to get better (time). She stayed the same. I 🛑 reacting at all of abuse. Everytime she tried to start some sht I responded with positive replies & feedbacks. I did do wrong within the marriage (No saint) but that was 24 years ago. I brought no more drama. No flirting, no texting. As she left she said trauma bounding & that I had not changed. She said some very harsh words (I did not react). But I knew she was trying to get under my skin. Women R very abusive. They think they get a pass because they R not physical. But they tare up a persons mind 🧠 (Mental abus/Mental abuse). It's time men 🛑 participating & actually get to know women beyond sex. Women R toxic & abusive.

[@BillyBob-lt5nr]

Not physical?!!! Are you kidding?!

[@amandlaawethu1538]

@@BillyBob-lt5nr Nope not one gesture. I knew she wanted me to react that way which 1. She would use it as ammo later (Haven't changed) 2. Could file charges (take my daughter) Men must understand the women R very abusive 🛑 participating

[@BillyBob-lt5nr]

@@amandlaawethu1538 I think there's a misunderstanding. My wife has hit me, grabbed me, clawed me or tried to, more times than I can count. If I did anything she does I'd be arrested and she'd be the center of all her friends' attention and our family would never be the same.

[@BillyBob-lt5nr]

@@amandlaawethu1538 statistically women are MORE physically abusive. In fact, when men are sober, there's very little physical abuse.

[@josephderego180]

We just celebrated our 34th anniversary this month. She's threatened to leave me and take the kids pretty much every 6 to 7 years. On one of her work trips, after she threatened me with divorce, I finally searched and found her diaries as a last resort to figure out where her head was at. I was a very considerate good guy. She had me convinced I was a horrible emotionally abusive husband. I believed her until one day I realized I am a good person. The problem is our kids believe her. So what you are saying here, Karyn, is very helpful and reassuring to me. I have gotten much better at being strong in who I am so I remain calm while not folding to her accusations nor giving in to her demands. That has helped, nut I still feel like we can never be close again. Maybe if she were to see this. If I showed her, it wouldn't work. But thank you and God bless you for your work!

[@j.p.5716]

Same exact boat my friend. You are not alone but even old wives can be taught new tricks. Show her these videos, what can it hurt?

[@The1stGurehaundo]

So... anything relevant in her diaries?

[@MatthewKocel]

I ca'n't thank you enough for speaking the truth so clearly. Bless you!

[@annarboriter]

Yeah, so much of the accusation of narcissism is projection as a means for protecting her ego and justifying her own negative behaviors

[@MonkeyBuRps]

Yin: (feminine; chaos) passive, but offensive. Yang: (masculine; order) aggressive, but defensive. 😌

[@eticacasanova]

This is, for many of us, as husbands, the philosopher stone with the mines of King Solomon... all wrapped in one

[@mikemccomis7146]

I've had a lot of therapy people take my wife's side. And I turned out to be the bad guy. With friends, family, and church. So over time other people learned it was my wife's doing not mine. She died, but she died on her own in the hospital. And it makes me very leary of any woman I'm interested in.

[@andrewosso2943]

Can't thank you enough for explaining this so clearly. It is a perfect overlay as to what happened in my marriage.

[@uprightmovement]

I take my power back by walking away; bye bye crazy cakes.

[@peacetoyoumyfriend1535]

Blessed be all husbands out there, for you hold great significance in our lives. Your kindness and generosity are deeply cherished, and we are eternally grateful for the grace you have bestowed upon us.

[@frankieoldsmobile8501]

I'm stunned at your honesty....you should be teaching other therapist because I know soo many men who deal with this issue on a daily basis.

[@dustinquinton]

I could only watch half of this video. To many emotions. My ex wife would do things, and in turn, I would yell. After I calmed down, I would ask her, “Why did you do that?” She would say, “I don’t know why.”

[@Mr-Lucian0_0]

I'm just now hearing the validation for the first time over my poor responses to all the truly messed up tactics of being incited. Thank you

[@lorenzmenke3121]

Yes going through such a battle as I watch this episode.

[@ATStoker]

Me too.

[@khanhcao3123]

Dump her bro. Not that hard

[@RicktheRecorder]

It's also that women tend to resent their dependence on the man whose power and confidence they were attracted to.

[@nietwojinteres7278]

My wife does it very often since becoming "pals" with her male colleague at her new job. Of course I've been called controlling, narcissistic and insecure when I confronted her about her behaviour and told her that she's breaking boundaries within our marriage.

[@kanialahalealani]

This is the most honest description of what I've been going through. It's built up over time so much that now, I simply don't have the energy to fight any longer. I feel broken inside and don't know how to shake it. Before all of this I was SO confident and sure of myself. Now the only feeling I have is worthlessness.

[@XWhiTexFeath3Rx]

This woman and Sadia Kahn are like the most attractive women I have ever seen besides my ex who was this healthy minded. I wasn't a great man but I see the issues in the world and learned some very harsh truths about myself through my dating experience. You people are amazing. Keep doing what you're doing.

[@bernadette8027]

People are accountable for their own actions, lady.

[@clarkvaughan]

The most succinct distillation of marriage I've ever witnessed. Floored.

[@trevorwhite2722]

I appreciate you having seen the light and turned it around. I cannot envision any significant percentage of women having insight or character. After so many years, honestly I don’t want a relationship with my wife. If she tried, I can’t come back around.

[@Brentisimo]

The Ex portrayed me as a narcissist to her friends and our neighbors. I remarried and my wife laughs at the notion of me being narcissistic. I’m grateful to my wife. I had checked out completely from dating. Then a kind widow convinced me to give her a chance. I knew her late husband, and that she had been loyal. She’s been consistently loyal, loving, and respectful to me.

[@denverspin]

Congratulations!!

[@downton39]

I’m so happy for the both of you. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😁

[@MonteCarloMartin]

You caught a major blessing with her. You deserve the new love you found. Hope that’s the way my story goes.

[@ibt1234]

Just wait 😂

[@Gotter-fj3pq]

Blessings to you, brother.

[@jeffironlegs]

100% this. My ex did this exact thing. She even would provoke a fight and then try to record that on her phone. We went counseling, and the only thing she wanted out of counseling was for me to change. The counselor was weak and never held her accountable.

[@nobledarkmoon]

You realize she was testing you, and after that it becomes a game if there is no boundaries set and enforced. She will eventually increase things more and more to find out where your reaction point is. If it is a fight, leave, nevermind remain involved(this gives her power). Walking away can have a powerful impact. Don't get goaded back in, say something like "Don't wait up" when you leave. Now this creates a sense of mystery, he is doing something I don't know about. It will shift the dynamic.

[@dicksonvalencia8884]

I'm happy I found this page. This explains alot about my marriage. Now I believe there are good women out there.

[@stevnreed7763]

I am currently single but love learning from your videos. I love how you are honest and sensitive you are. Very refreshing

[@bretpeterman5390]

I love this segment very much! This has happened to me more times than I want to admit. When she provokes, I react many times with very defensive behavior. After her emasculation to me, she tells her friends what a bad guy I am. Now, I stand up for me.

[@wmcelhannon9074]

I was never able to put that in words

[@ChrisOrrick-g6d]

Thank you! I really needed to hear this from you. I feel like you are providing a fantastic service to our society. ALL MEN should see this!