My Mom Is PROJECTING Her Relationships Onto My Wife, Wife Now Thinks I'm Cheating r/Relationships

[@agathoklesmartinios8414]

Story 1: Mom: "He is his father's son." DNA tests: "No. Actually."

[@otariidae2067]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Edit: Wtf, it was not a joke he really isn’t his dad son!

[@clarrie93]

@@otariidae2067 lmaaaaaaaoooo the edit you made is justt lmaoooooo

[@memyselfandi7782]

THE CACKLE I JUST HAD!

[@carlrood4457]

Maybe she was referring to her AP all along.

[@nicksuazo4377]

Ah yes, no one talks more than a hypocrite. Didn't surprise me at all

[@bennyd.1862]

“ She is your mom. You don't want to do that.” That is not their place or their choice. Do your job.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Honestly, that police officer needs to have a report against him. 1) OP had that right and the police took it away for him because “family”. 2) This is dangerous mindset of a police officer. It could have been worse and/or set the victim up to think family can get away with anything they want with them because they can’t press charges. Especially when there is a lot of victims of abuse from parents 3) the stepmother wouldn’t have been in the hospital as a victim of an attempted murder.

[@martinsanchez8412]

"yes, I want to do this, the the only reason why I take my time to call you here, if you don't gonna do your job, I'm gonna call my lawyer"

[@kaitlynhall2112]

Story 2: divorce the husband. He’s a moron. BIL and SIL will definitely try to kidnap the baby. Get a restraining order

[@samakiraroyjanssen6326]

look that man in the eyes, and instead tell him "are you willing to ruin yours over this."

[@joan-mariacbrooks]

Childbirth is not a spectator sport. Definitely go legal to keep them - and the idiot husband - away. Let the doctor and hospital know about this and keep them out.

[@tammygarrett8427]

They have a room for a baby she is having. It just seems off to me. Nest it will be you can have another baby just let them have this one stop being so selfish

[@Russman67]

Holy moly! That took some turns! So we went from "your dad's a cheater so you're going to be a cheater", to "mom went out, had an affair, got pregnant and then got the dad to raise OP as his own" in the span of about 6 minutes. That right there is a mother of the year candidate

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yup. And the year is 666. 🤣

[@Russman67]

@@BruinPhD2009 I'm not sure the Devil would even claim this one. This is f--ed up!

[@mbyerly9680]

Cheaters are always expecting others to cheat. It almost never fails in these stories that the one afraid of the cheating spouse is the one cheating.

[@pippo17173]

Mom cheating cause a massive downward spiral and she knows it. She knows she sucks more then everyone and is trying to put everyone on their same level.

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@mbyerly9680, and it's because the cheaters already know how easy it is to cheat

[@rionamcauliffe5469]

The husband in story 2 seems to think his role in the delivery room is to witness the birth of his child. It's not. That's a great bonus, but his primary role is to support his wife and lifelong partner through one of the most painful and difficult experiences she'll ever have to go through. It is so weird to me that he would prioritize someones emotional pain over physical pain, it's pretty clear that he doesn't empathize with his wife or consider her feelings before making decisions for himself that affect both of them.

[@PrincessAfrica3]

Well said! Although I really feel for the BIL and wife...and seems like husband is trying to take away his brother’s pain, but this is not the way.

[@rubymeaddle]

Men are so entitled

[@brigidtheirish]

*YES.* Granted, Dad is not good at being supportive and Mom isn't great at being *supported.* He was still in the delivery room for every birth and expressed child-like excitement every time. Dad: "I see a hand! There's the head! Honey, you gotta see this!" Mom: "Stop. Leaning. On. Me." The funniest thing is that the nurses always congratulated Mom on having such a supportive, involved husband. He *thrilled* over giving us our first baths and trying to predict our personalities in the tiny movements we made. Natural, I suppose, for the guy whose life goal from early childhood was to be a dad.

[@Yendor1224]

@@brigidtheirish thank for the laugh. "Honey, you gotta see this" makes my day

[@brigidtheirish]

@@Yendor1224 You're welcome! It's one of my favorite stories about Dad.

[@justinthompson6364]

If I want to press charges on someone, and the officer(s) present refuse to go through with it, you can be sure I'm getting a name and badge number. It's not their job to decide what the victim of a crime wants.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Cop just wanted to avoid paper work. Get the badge. If you can't go to the staton and ask for the log of the report for the day she attacked the first time.

[@rbux1636]

4:44 I think the point OP was making is that his father cheating had nothing to be with his mother's pregnancy bc they weren't even aware of that. I don't think he feels neutral about it exactly. He makes this point because his mother used that as a manipulation strategy towards his wife citing it as a variable that contributed towards the cheating when it had nothing to do with it. There's no good reason for his mother to have brought that up.

[@atinyevil1383]

I agree.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

Me three!!

[@lina9535]

Me four

[@nicolasv6031]

Story 2: OP's pregnancy and childbirth isn't a fcking spectacle. Husband is showing her that his brother/brother's wife are far more important to him than supporting her, than her wellbeing, and than his and her own fcking child. Definitely divorce worthy.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 2: pack your bags and stay with family. This marriage sounds over. Also, as sad as their situation is, their infertility is not your problem. I second the user who said to talk to the nurse. Talk to the hospital and state you don’t want anyone in the delivery room besides who you allow.

[@robertx8020]

fully agree But I thought it is always the wife that decides who is allowed in??

[@shells500tutubo]

@@robertx8020 It is. But to be extra careful, OP needs to sign an advance directive, listing her parents as the ones who make all medical decisions for her if she can't. And she needs to immediately file for at least a legal separation, so that legally her husband will not be her next of kin.

[@robertx8020]

@@shells500tutubo Ok

[@AndyyWithAY]

BIL and SIL need serious therapy. Demanding to be in the delivery room is insanely creepy. OP will be so vulnerable and they'll turn it into a spectator sport. The husband is the worst though. Giving up his spot like he has the right. Demanding she do this, giving the silent treatment. What a monster!! I hope OP can go to her mother and get support. These people see her as a science experiment and tool to use.

[@kdcats4092]

She best be getting as far away from husband and his family as possible because the crazy brother and sister in law will never give up on insisting the child be in THEIR care 24/7. IF she stays the brother and sister in law will eventually call child protective services to have the child taken from her and hubby will agree with them because "they deserve to have the experience of raising a child" and "you can have another baby".

[@mbyerly9680]

Up next, OP's husband offers her uterus to his brother to have his own baby, and the brother can do it the old-fashioned way.

[@carlrood4457]

Going to school functions was the most creepy part.

[@voxkine9385]

Contact the PD that refused you pressing charges and file a complaint, possibly sue them. If they did refuse to charge, even after you insisted, and that led directly to an escalated crime. At the very least, they should be paying any medical fees incurred and refund any processing fees for arresting grandfather.

[@mbyerly9680]

Going to the station and talking to a superior is the fastest way to press charges and get a restraining order.

[@ashh4929]

Seriously I can't (but sadly can) believe that. Just because they are your parent doesn't mean jack if they are a freaking sociopathic narcissists. I damn sure would be calling them out to anyone that would listen. Just because something is a social norm, doesn't mean it's YOUR normal, not every parent is a Hallmark movie trope. Some are god awful human beings and deserve to be in jail for their actions. They don't know or have the right to make a judgment call on what your relationship is to the person, especially when the victim of a legit crime says "press charges". Good on grandpa for clocking that psycho. Can we all picket his trial with "Free Grandpa" signs? Lol

[@brigidtheirish]

@@ashh4929 *Amen!* I'm blessed with a great family and am *horrified* at the stuff people will do to relatives, but I'm *more* horrified that the cops would *refuse to do their jobs.* Those bastards should have their badges taken at *least.*

[@carlrood4457]

Any charges are the purview of the prosecutor's office, not the victim or the police. All the police can do is arrest the mom, which is what they failed to do.

[@minecraftmum3436]

I'm just stunned by the second story. How many times does it have to be said that giving birth is a medical procedure not a side show?? OP will be at her most vulnerable and extremely exposed. A lot of intense pain is involved and the mother is left absolutely exhausted at the end of it. I find it absolutely disgusting that OP's husband is pushing for his brother to be allowed to see OP in such a way - he might as well have offered tickets to watch the conception, after all, that's also part of the whole process!! Like I said, I'm stunned at the whole thing!!

[@robertx8020]

I think she will be a single mom soon as having this POS as a father/husband would suck more! And the nerve of HIM calling HER selfish? He is the most sel;fish AH around!

[@saratronus]

Title says it all not the asshole. no one have the right to look at you like if you're just a zoo animal when you're going through a medical process when you're at you're most vulnerable. Common knowledge really

[@robertx8020]

@@saratronus I always find it interesting when ppl claim "i only had to read the title and" So you are easy to fool? It just takes a good to title? I wonder howe many times you are wrong or is it just confirmation bias?

[@saratronus]

@@robertx8020 Do you think you have the right to watch a pregnant woman give birth Without her concern?? Yeah you're not the kind of person I should waste my time away. Lol actually the 1st time I judged something based on the topic but that doesn't something but that does stop you An know-it-all ass but go on I love see how much of a fool you'll make of yourself lol. But no seriously what's your problem with me this is like the 10th time you go out of your way to respond to me here ??? It kinda sad really 😕

[@robertx8020]

@@saratronus "Do you think you have the right to watch a pregnant woman give birth Without her concern?? Yeah you're not the kind of person I should waste my time away. Lol" NEVER said that! AND if you even bothered to read some othe comments then you would know that! I just responded the fact that ppl always say that And even here context IS important! So just for sake of argument suppose the story went on to say "they asked if they could be in the delivery room so I set their house on fire and killed their children ," you would still support OP? Nice! But hey the title would still be the same so.... "actually the 1st time I judged something based on the topic" If you say so ... " but that doesn't something but that does stop you An know-it-all ass but go on I love see how much of a fool you'll make of yourself lol." Yeah and now you can take one of your 'shadow accounts' and make it look like others agree with you! You seem to be rather foccused on me ...when I can't even remember ever having reacted on one of your posts But yeah I must be the 'know-it-all ass' lol You sound rather hatefull .. " But no seriously what's your problem with me this is like the 10th time you go out of your way to respond to me here ??? " 10th time? Wow you must be really vindictive if you keep track! Or are you suffering from some victim complex? I can't even remember you but you seem to think I single you out? You're not that important to me! Sorry to bust your bubble IF and I say IF (because I can't remember) I did react to 10 of your posts (between the hundreds of vids I watched and thousends of comments) then it says something about your average comment as I never got that response from anyone before! Should make you think! I hope you get well soon. Bye now

[@Rienneil]

Story 2: get a divorce and a restraining order asap Also call school and tell them they have no kids, they should not be there. This is worrying. If they carry on call the police.

[@dagnytheartist]

Oh good, someone else pointed this out. Yeah, that's creepy and most likely against school policy! Also, I'm getting "kidnapper" vibes from them.

[@Rienneil]

@@dagnytheartist I don't understand how they even got in a school show without getting escorted off premises. It is so creepy. Anyway if they want a child so much why not adopt?

[@weltonvillegal6258]

@@Rienneil- Because no respectable adoption agency will touch them with a 10 ft pole.

[@abm5119]

Story 1: At what point do you blame the commission of a crime on the police? I mean OP wanted to press charges on his mom for breaking into his house. If he did, maybe that would have been enough of a scare to stop OP's mom from pulling the second break in and keep assaults from happening. I mean I'm probably talking out my rear-end but I can't help but imagine a better time when step mom isn't hit over the head with an urn 🤷🏿‍♂️ Story 2: Wow. Go call your mother or something to be in the delivery room with you. You need a calming influence in there. That's not going to be your BIL and SIL and it seems like it won't be your DH either. Also, I see some marriage counseling in your future

[@WobblesandBean]

It's the cops. They're useless at best, flat out malicious at worst. They won't do anything against an elderly white woman.

[@susanlayton2143]

Story 2: I would tell my husband, my labor and delivery are NOT your brother and his wife's therapy session. The child may be your child too, but that does not give you the right to invite ANYONE (without permission from the one that will actually be in labor) to witness it.

[@angeliccow]

It may be his child but it’s not his labour or his birthing experience. So glad he gave up his spot now she can guilt free pick someone who is going to be supportive.

[@lina9535]

Indeed. I'm starting to be of the opinion that the doctors in "ye olden days" were onto something with not letting the partner into the room during delivery, even if they were royalty.

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

Never throw rocks in glass houses, and don't involve your kids in your own relationship drama (whether it's justified hurt or not).

[@pippo17173]

Well in the end, she lost all her victim status when she took the path of assaulting the mistress. Getting cheated on or not, you don't ever assault people especially if your morals are better in the end.

[@immortalsofar5314]

Rule of thumb, as passed onto me by a self-confessed former cheater, is that those who accuse their partner of cheating in a vague, non-specific way are, most likely, projecting. I'm referring to the Mother, not the wife. How she behaves without MIL dripping poison into her ears _might_ make a paternity test on the child advisable.

[@rylievalentine7109]

From. From Glass houses

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

@@rylievalentine7109 in my language the phrase is “in glass houses”

[@somedragonbastard]

@@pippo17173 the only time its ethical to attack someone is either in self defense or when they're endangering someone else (or when theyre a nazi and punching em will shut em up)

[@EmmyRae1885]

Birth is not a spectator sport! OP's husband ought to be reminded that husbands weren't even allowed in the room until pretty recently in history, and even today she has the full right to kick anyone out of the room

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA that position isn't about the "experience". It is about being there to SUPPORT the person going through a LIFE OR DEATH medical procedure. Its neither small nor "graceful". Hebdoesnt get to "volunteer" his spot. Only OP gets to choose who is or isn't there. Then for him to use the silent treatment....abusive. Edit: one of the comments reminded me of a story on a previous video. Someone asked OP in that story if they could "borrow" their baby for a few months to "experience" parenthood and I bet these people would want to do something similar.

[@wintermute9459]

IMO People need to be cruder in their refusal. Something like , "why are you so obsessed with seeing my ladybits?!" But with cruder more embarrassing language

[@TheArnaa]

Story 2: if BIL & SIL are in the delivery room, they’ll expect OP to give them a second by second description of exactly how it feels to give birth, what she’s feeling etc. Once the baby is born, they’ll be right there demanding to vicariously experience every milestone, to have solo time with the baby etc. NTA, but the husband certainly is.

[@MrJpaynebb]

WTF?! When in the F@#k did child birth become a spectator sport? Seriously we all want to know. When did this become a thing?

[@mbyerly9680]

Then they'll demand OP carry BIL's baby, and he wants to do it the old fashioned way. Her SO is such a wimp he'll hold her down for BIL.

[@nataliereeves3594]

What's to stop them from kidnapping the baby? Op should leave and divorce her husband. Demand only supervised visits with kid.

[@Sparky0627]

​@@nataliereeves3594 This! As someone pointed out, get directives to keep ALL 3 out of delivery, and give POA to her mom, so "hubby" can't make decisions regarding her medical care.

[@lucialovecraft]

I really hope there’s an update to story 2 cause that’s a scary situation OP is in and the husband is a complete wanker

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 2: he’s making the labour seem like a spectator sport. I feel for their fertility issues but it’s at an unhinged level and they need therapy. I would be concerned they would try and act as parents with the baby not as uncle and aunt. At this point I agree the husband shouldn’t be there until they family counselling and he needs his own counselling. I would see if there was someone in his life that could talk sense into him that his brothers issues aren’t his and he is on a one way ticket to divorce.

[@CooperGal24]

All I have to say is if the Husband is gonna be THAT entitled and ignorant with his “choices” and treatment of his wife, then OP SHOULD get a divorce, get full custody of the baby and get a restraining order agains those three stooges!

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

After all that's been established about OP's mother in story 1, I don't blame his father for cheating. If I was stuck with an abusive bitch like that, there'd be no sanctity left in the marriage to violate.

[@pippo17173]

I don't support cheaters but in the end, the father really is the mature one compare to the mother in the fact he didn't go victim blaming or the *wow es me* shit.

[@michal31131]

Than he should've been better and left before he got with the stepmother. No excuse for cheating.

[@pippo17173]

@@michal31131 ya he really should of left before hooking up again. That is his only major mistake he did compare to the mother who think she is above everyone and could assault someone out of spite.

[@michal31131]

@@pippo17173 Yeah, that mother is beyond redemption at this point.

[@garthrogers2269]

1st story. Holy hell, that was a wild ride. Pretty sure OPs mother is about to get another divorce and that OPs sister is about to find out that her father isn't. 2nd story. OP is NTA. Everyone else sucks big-time. OP should tell her husband that she accepts his decision to not be present at the birth of their child and select someone else to be her support person, since he is refusing that role. She should also kick his arse to the curb over this.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: This is not some Edwardian birthing salon where the whole of the royal court watches the heir be birthed to confirm it came from the queens bits. OP gives in to letting SIL and BIL be in the room, it will grow to letting BIL and SIL teach the child to walk, talk, toilet train (that ones not fun is they might graciously let the real parents do that one.). Putting their nose in on what kind of foods baby can eat, shows they can watch. Every last aspect of this child life will need to approval of BIL and SIL because "ThEy CaN't HaVe KiDs JuSt Be KiNd aNd LeT ThEm tHiS OnCe". The fact Husband is willing to give them that big of an inch at the start means he will pave the fucking mile they are prepping to take from OP.

[@kateemma22]

'Just give him this one because you can have another one, unlike them.'

[@ShatoraDragondore]

@@kateemma22 Just give them this one too so the first can have a sibling.

[@angeliccow]

The fact the husband is willing to give up his place just shows how unimportant it is to be there for the birth in the parenting journey. If I were her and I had no one else, no family or friends to support me - I’d ask the hobo on the street in before my husband now.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

@@angeliccow I think hospitals have "support people" for those who are going it alone .

[@angeliccow]

@@ShatoraDragondore my point is that husband would be lower on the list than literally anyone because literally anyone else Would be more of a support.

[@precious_toebeans]

That last story infuriates me. When the husband is having a child he can have his brother and sister in law watch, but absolutely f all the way off until then

[@e.w9641]

Sorry, but now all I can imagine for story 1 is the grandpa sitting in jail just having the best time talking to people and idk why that image is so funny to me lol

[@Sparky0627]

I'm still trying to figure out HOW in TF the cops arrested him! Crazy Mom (CM) attacked his daughter, and he defended her! Obviously Self-defense! ETA: Yes, that image is very amusing.

[@mommyofone646]

I have never wanted an update so bad for that 2nd story... that husband is cruel af and I feel so bad for op.

[@morwennaf]

OMG we definitely need an update to story 2 bc what the ACTUAL heck! Throw the whole husband out.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Nah because if I was married to someone and they just immediately assumed the _worst_ of me for absolutely _no reason_ other than because someone claimed (with no proof whatsoever) that I was gonna cheat on them or just generally do something bad simply because my _parent_ did it and "ThE aPpLe DoEsN't FaLl FaR fRoM tHe TrEe" I'd leave both of them in the dust (unless spouse comes around and agrees to therapy), even if one of them was my other parent. You just don't fucking do that to your kid or s/o. She's been with Op for _7 years_ and now she's crying every time his phone goes off just because MIL made an accusation that's based on something _someone else did several years ago?_ "Don't vilify your mother" she's vilifying her _son._ Edit: Lmfaoooo Mom: He's his father's son, he's gonna cheat 😌 Op: _isn't even his father's son_ Everyone: 🤨 Mom: 👁👄👁💧 Edit 2: "She's your mom, you don't want to do that to her" I think Op does, _that's why he said it._ How about you do your damn job rather than ignore someone who wants to press charges because you think you know better than they do about their own mother who you never met until just now.

[@pippo17173]

The entire situation shows that the mom started the dominoe effect long before the father did. I stand on not forgiving cheaters but in this situation, the father is less up his own butt then the mother who is trying to put everyone on her level.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

As usual, you blame women for everything, and think that men can do no wrong. OP has DONE nothing to prove he is not a cheater. WORDS are cheap. ACTIONS determine real intent. he has DONE nothing. You don't have the balls to reply respectfully, to a WOMAN. You sad little lifeform.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Step mom changed all 3 paternity test results?? Yeah. And then mom became violent. What a crazy update.

[@Sparky0627]

It was the story that kept on giving!

[@civivva4501]

Since when was childbirth like graduation or a concert? THERE ARE NO VIEWING TICKETS THAT CAN BE SWAPPED AND ALLOCATED TO NON-PARTNERS!! So many MILs, SIL, BIL FEEL ENTITLED TO WITNESS SOMEONE ELSES BIRTH. WTF!!!?!!

[@nolongeramused8135]

I used to get a load of this from my older, psycho, MILF of an ex-GF, only her version was that "once I started to make money" and/or she "got too old" I'd promptly get a side-piece or three because "that's just how men are." Ironically, it was HER that started collecting affair partners (male and female). Lesson: people base their expectations on how others behave on what they themselves do.

[@wmdkitty]

Nope. I expect men to cheat because that's my experience. Men cheat.

[@Sparky0627]

Wait ... crazy MILF or the ex-gf having multiple partners? 😮😮😮

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: The comment about Hubs maybe planning to give the baby to BIL and SIL. That's fucking chilling But the commenter was right, stable people don't build nurseries for therapy is OP 100% sure all that stuff is gone from BIL and SILs house.

[@datmanydocris]

Story 1: As soon as I heard how hard OP's mom was trying to convince his wife that he was a cheater, I immediately had a pretty solid hypothesis that she was actually a cheater. I have learned throughout life that whenever someone is hellbent on convincing people that someone else did something bad, it almost always means that _they_ did that something bad and are trying to cover for that fact by acting like they hate that thing so much and are trying to root it out. I have never met people more racist than those trying to convince you that everyone else it racist, I have never met people more sexist than those trying to convince you that everyone else is sexist, and I've never met people who cheat more than people who try and convince you that others are cheaters.

[@ddjohnson3961]

Story two:NTA. Divorce him. Ask him would he be comfortable having the bottom half of his body be exposed and taking a dump while his brother and sister in law watched. It’s your body and other people are only supposed to be there for support and help relieve stress not add to it. They would most likely try to make it about themselves or try to hold the baby first before OP. Definitely tell the hospital staff they will keep all three out. Your husband has some serious problems. He didn’t even ask you first and just offered you up for viewing like you aren’t person. The husband is going down a slippery slope.

[@morwennaf]

Also I love grandpa throwing down in Story 1 - good for him!

[@Resilient_Sage88]

I haven't even watched it because it would disturb me too much, but story 2 sounds like some "Handmaid's Tale" level stuff. Please leave this man who basically volunteered you to be a surrogate birth giver to his brother and the wife. I hope she has a safe haven because all three of these people are "Restraining Order" worthy in my honest opinion.

[@mbyerly9680]

The baby is his so it's not that bad. But he is giving seriously creepy vibes.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@mbyerly9680Yeah, but his child shouldn't be the subject of such bad coping mechanisms.

[@Sparky0627]

​@@mbyerly9680And birthing isn't a "Spectator" event!

[@arnold-shortsnigga]

"would you be happy to ruin my brother's marriage over this?" "would YOU be happy to ruin OUR marriage over this?"

[@MotherKale-yj7fi]

Second story : I fully believe that men should have a say in what happens with their child EXCPET who is in the hospital room with the woman who is going to push a watermelon out of a tiny hole, for an unknown amount of time... And all the pain. NTA.

[@wafflestoast4546]

Grandpa having a field day! 🤣🤣

[@pa-pa-plasma]

Story 2: I'd just honestly make a deal. If husband lets BIL & SIL watch him take a shit every day for a week, then let them in the delivery room. "But it's not the same!" Yeah, you're right. There's a lot more blood and screaming during childbirth, so really it's only a small preview of what they're gonna see in there. For real though, that is only going to escalate if OP lets them in the delivery room. They're going to want to be the first to hold the baby. And then they're going to rebuild their nursery--"for babysitting, don't worry about it." They're going to be over at OP's house all the time. And then they're going to want to have sleepovers on the weekends--at their own house. They're going to start referring to themselves as "mom" and "dad" and the kid as theirs. They're going to rename the baby because they don't like OP's choice in names. They need therapy, not delivery room access. If they want to watch someone give birth they can easily look up birthing videos. Maybe they'll even see it's not something they want at all to experience. OP needs to get out and tell husband he, BIL, & SIL all need therapy, because this is one huge red flag and if they don't stop and back off NO ONE's going to see the baby, let alone be there for its birth, including--especially--husband. If their marriage is ruined by this, it was already ruined in the first place, this had nothing to do with it. That's their problem. OP's problem is with her husband being a major fucking dickhead

[@AngelaMerici12]

That last story. They sound like capable of kidnapping a child. 🤔😐

[@jenniferrichards2122]

The crazy mom in the first story was seriously projecting saying how OP was a cheater and took after his dad. She meant his real dad in that moment. She knew exactly what she said and calling all those names to stepmom mom, she was actually talking about herself. She is beyond help. She is the poster child of NC.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1 last update: did I hear that right?The police overwrote OP’s right to press charges against anyone who did them wrong in a criminal/unlawful civil act because “she’s your family”? If that is true, OP should file a report against that police officer. His stepmother wouldn’t have been sent to the hospital by his unstable homicidal mother, the one OP would have pressed charges on, if the police refused to let OP press charges Unless he meant his family said not to but with the context of the story, it sounds like he meant the police

[@5781nashmiller]

Oh my! Husband needs to stay away from the delivery room too, if he is going to act this way!

[@starbird3939]

With how the mom reacted-I wonder if the Dad cheated on her at all-or if it is just her projected her law on her husband and then OP.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - what a wild ride. the last part, with OP's mum just going nuts, was the scariest. not only do OP and his dad need to press charges but also get ROs for both their homes and places of work - there is no telling what that lunatic will try to do next. that is just crazy!

[@RJLiams]

Born from a cheating mother, raised by a cheating father, and the seed of a man willing to help a cheater. Now that's what I call a triple threat.

[@brandi5126]

S1: couple counseling. Open phone/media policy. Continue to reassure. Separate wife and mom. Eta: wow! What an update!

[@madisonl3401]

Mark I hope you are having fun in London! That sounds so incredibly amazing and you deserve it! 🖤

[@ComaLies225]

My goodness that mom in story one is unhinged. What kind of sense does it make to blame someone else for your cheating, then to break into your child and ex’s home????

[@sweetoleander9048]

I REALLY hope OP updates the story 2.

[@kateemma22]

Childbirth is not a spectator sport. Don't let your husband in the delivery room and start contacting a lawyer about your inevitable divorce, OP2.

[@katie6731]

Story 2: I explained the setup to hubs, and he's convinced the BIL and SIL are going to unalive OP and take her baby.

[@Amber_the_Amazon]

Story 1-I’m sorry, because the dad cheated with step mom, but OP had a good enough relationship to call her momma he had to stop because his toxic bio mother got it in her head that he’ll cheat just like his dad? Like What the actual. 🤦‍♀️ I seriously can’t wrap my head around that.

[@ultraviolet2447]

That mom is protecting hard on the step mother HARD.

[@Hellion912]

Story 2. Op needs to shout from the rooftops "I AM NOT A HUMAN PEEP SHOW!"

[@jameshutchinson2817]

Next step will be the husband saying "we can have more babies, how dare you ruin their chance to experience parenthood." Time to pull the emergency eject lever.

[@eldinovm8077]

this saga is an uplifting one considering how it started

[@stoneman8387]

Story 1: WTF!? That would be a nice movie. Story 2: The Delivery room isn't Disney World. There isn't a "make the experience of childbirth". U cant heal a trauma with a trauma for others.

[@RellaSemmone]

Last story: if ever an update is needed!!!!

[@rachaelclark8465]

Bil/sil story, All you have to do is tell the staff at the hospital that you don't want any one but your husband in the delivery room. YOU hold all the power. YOU get to decide who is there.

[@NanMax]

Need an update on the second story! Poor woman 💐

[@michaelawalton6579]

"most boring paternity result ever" best line ever

[@naominagler7290]

In the first story, the mothers actions make me wonder if the dad really cheated or if the mom accused him of cheating after she did and he just took it as an opportunity to gtfo because he saw the crazy.

[@qnkendra1523]

I'll just add about giving birth. Mine was an intrusive mother. She often bulldozed me and got my wants and needs pushed to the side in return for hers. When it came to my first pregnancy I had a great team, we discussed the "birth plan" (as they called it) and they automatically included a note where it was noted that my mother was a problem person for me. I did let her into the room when my labor first started but when she started acting up and I ordered everyone out. I still to this day remember this nurse shorter then my short mother getting right in her face, when she bulked and refused to leave because "I'm her mother she doesn't know what she needs right now", and stating "Until that child is here the only person who matters in this room is there (pointing to me). She wants you out, you may leave on your own or you may leave with assistance.". Stranger nurse whose name I don't remember I still love you a little for that. Probably the first time in my life someone put her in her place for me instead of telling me "but she's your mother".

[@browniewin4121]

1) OP's mother needs to STFU, and be distanced from OP and especially his wife since she is so unreasonable and toxic. Glad he recognize the need to cut mother off, individual therapy for his wife, and couples therapy too. After update: So happy to hear OP is making changes for the betterment of his family and that his wife is feeling better. Wow, what a twist, shows his mom is even worse than previously thought. It seems clear why the dad left for another woman. After 2nd update: Sounds good that OP now knows the truth as to how awful his mother really is and that his wife now has extended family on the other side. After next update: Disgusting how police are sometimes useless. What a mess. So sorry the stepmom was hurt. 2) NTA, OMG that is so cringeworthy and ridiculous. How the hell can a husband thinks this is ok, that is insane, and his letting them infringe on OP is not at all reasonable. Saying no is the right answer and how the husband is enabling the craziness of his brother and SIL and treating his wife, I do believe this would be time to contact an attorney and file for divorce. The husband is not a partner, OP should leave him, have her mother or a close friend be with her in the delivery room.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: Your husband is the type to hand your baby over to his brother, and they are the type to run off with your child. GET OUT OF THERE, YOU ARE NOT SAFE WITH THIS MAN.

[@dagnytheartist]

Story 2: Red flag for BIL and SIL is that they're attending school functions...for whom??? Their family's kids??? Or just some random kids??? Where I went to school the teachers and everybody made a big deal about how the only people who could attend school functions were your immediate family or basically whoever you lived with/was your guardian. The idea of two adults with no kids attending a school to see a bunch of kids they don't know is really creepy to me, and their reason makes that worse. I'm sorry for their hardships, but they're sending up just as many red flags as well as OP's husband. I also don't trust them buying an entire nursery (sounds expensive!) unless *maybe* it was their therapist's suggestion, but if this was their own doing, that sounds like the opposite of healing to me (but I'm no therapist and I've heard of weirder coping mechanisms, so if it's actually a valid thing I don't want to judge).

[@debbymccormack6525]

"I volunteered my place." Like he was giving away tickets to a fucking show or something. You're priceless Mark!

[@laurenjones9924]

Story 1- mom is projecting badly. How are you going to cheat, get pregnant with another man’s child, find out your husband cheated and give him and his new wife all kinds of grief for 30 years!? The second story- what kind of new father is ok with allowing his brother and wife in the delivery room? Like you’ve got to be the most ignorant and cold hearted kind of jerk. Honestly I have no doubt that if these people don’t get mental help, they will promote try to kidnap that baby.

[@carlrood4457]

It is his baby too, but it's not his procedure. He is not the patient and has no rights to anything until the birth certificate is filed. On her say so, he doesn't get the bracelet that would allow him to fetch the baby from the nursery.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: Super Narcissist Alert. And those Police, they need to be retrained, as OP had a full right to press charges for someone breaking into his house, regardless of them being his parent or not. Story 2: Yikes, the husband is beginning to emotionally abuse OP. Yes the silent treatment is emotional abuse, this is the exact situation that qualifies, as the Husband is using it as punishment for OP not obeying. Not like a "I'm mad and need to cool down for a day or 2" but a "You aren't agreeing with me so I won't talk to you until you follow my(or in this case, My brother's) orders".

[@ShatoraDragondore]

I hope op gets a iron clad who can and can't see child visitation agreement. The moment its (i hope STBEX)Hubands turn that child is going right in to BIL and SILs arms and they are booking it with the baby.

[@pambarab5506]

Story 1. What a mess. And bio Mom won the AH award. But OP and wife seem to be good, figuring it out and communicating. Story 2. OP need to get her mom (or someone she's close to) to step in to be on her side. She is surrounded by people trying to manipulate her. Then she needs to leave husband who's being the worst AH of all. She could be in a really bad spot if she doesn't start (and keep) saying no, and protecting herself and baby.

[@vr5966]

Story 2: NTA IN SO MANY WAYS!!!! these people need help. Also is it just me or does anyone else think that these people would lie about OP being a surgeon and would try to take away the baby. I would also request to the doctors to not allow brother in law or sister in law in the room

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: NTA - Child birth is a highly intimate medical procedure, no matter how natural and normal it may be. There is only ONE person who gets to decide who is witness to their medical procedures, and that would be the patient. Full stop.

[@myounakami]

Story 1: Sounds like a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but I guess it's no surprise she was railing so hard on her Ex's cheating when she was really projecting her own guilt. Story 2: Yikes, In her position, I'd honestly let the doctors/nurses know about the situation in case the husband tries to pull a switchroo at the last minute in the hopes that OP will be too out of it/busy to object. With how obsessed they are over the experience of having a baby, I wouldn't want them in the room purely because I'd be afraid of them trying to steal the baby; I'd debate having the husband there as well since he's made it clear he won't advocate for his wife if she isn't in a position to make decisions. Maybe go to stay with parents or a trusted friend and change who the person you want in the delivery room will be, then think long and hard about the husband's actions and whether he can still be trusted.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 1: Do you think op was the result of a revenge affair, or the mom cheated first and then projected. She clearly sounds emotionally unstable.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 2 has me so mad cuz the three people who won’t be vulnerable af with their entire hoohaa out and about (purposely exaggerating to make a point, don’t come at me) are the ones deciding how small a thing this is. OP is _not_ being cruel, it may be husband’s baby too, but it’s _only_ OPs body, also it’s OPs body not MSG or Barclays! The gaslighting and manipulation nearly made me throw my phone overboard cuz WTAF?! NTA. In fact if OP is taken out of the equation, ESH. SIL and BIL are going through so much and I feel for them, but they’re def TA and need therapy, and I don’t have appropriate words for that POS husband, but yeah he’s TA (the biggest one too)!

[@datbadassunicorn2832]

Story 2. I’d tell all 3 of them to go pound sand. I’d move out and not tell anyone where I’m going, file a restraining order on all of them and Get divorced and file for full custody.

[@donnaspaans518]

Story 2. It is his baby, but it is not his private area hanging out when your body is going through the most traumatizing thing it can go through. Time for a divorce because he cares more for his brothers marriage then his own marriage and wife.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Wow! OP’s mother is an absolute nut case! Get a restraining order on her! Story 2..Op this is totally ridiculous! Please rethink if you want to stay with this abusive husband! If he can’t demand you allow anyone in the delivery room you don’t want there.. the undue stress of it could cause complications... don’t let husband be there in case he tries to pull a fast one!

[@mariajw4803]

Story 2 makes me sick.

[@TheRealVenna]

Child birth is not a spectator sport! The father is usually there not because he's the father, but to provide support, comfort, and reassurance to the mother throughout the process. It can take days, will definitely take hours, and it's painful, and exhausting, and the mother is as vulnerable as she will ever be. Not the place for randos to be.

[@ZombieSazza]

“Grandpa punched my mother” _[LOUDLY AND WILDLY CHEERS]_

[@starrhunter633]

The first story was crazy, I did not see the twist with the mom cheating coming. I still hope we get more updates. Last story, this is a giant red flag. The Bil and Sil need serious help and Husband is going to lose OP in the future. This is a sign of things to come in their life.

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

Ha I wasn’t surprised when the second cheating was revealed. Accusing your child of being a cheater “like his father” is sick and not normal. I knew she was bad news.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

Bil and sil story: it feels like op's husband is the one pushing grief onto them. I read a think called amplified manipulation grief when it comes to trauma issues and is often used on infertile issues aka family or friends amplify the infertile person's grief because they think not having a baby is the worst thing. They feed into all unhealthy ways of coping and claim it's good keeping thr infertile person in a on going cycle of pain because the friends/fam secretly don't think they should ever be happy. That feels like what op's husband is doing. The person's grief gets so much worse and can slip onto a extremely unstable mindset.

[@medusastone2725]

That first story was the Jerry Springer/Maury Povich crossover I didn't even know I wanted! Charges and a restraining order for Mommy Dearest, and complaints and possibly lawsuit for the cops that refused to do their goddamn jobs.

[@MegaHarvickFan29]

Story 1: wow, that mom. Say it with me everyone... PROJECTION

[@rmhartman]

The hubby is treating it like it's a spectator sport.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: F what the stepmom said. I'd have gone full AH on the mom, because all the stress on the wife could be bad for the baby.

[@Sorchia56]

Story 1 went from 0 to 100 in no time! Mum was mental enough but then goes and breaks into houses!? I laughed about Grandpa having a brilliant time! 😂 I was just too pleased to here he clocked her! Hope the poor mum to be is ok. Story 2: if you’re not there for conception, you aren’t there for delivery. I had to say this to my MIL (who is so amazing) several times. No worries in the end as I had c-sections with each baby. That husband’s family is bonkers. Yikes!!! YOU decide who’s in the room with you. Just tell your doctor and your nurse. You can block your husband. Completely legal. Have your mum or best friend with you. L & D is no cake walk. You need unconditional support and care.

[@chits28]

The definition of 'that escalated quickly'😌

[@wildridegaming874]

2nd story, yeah Id make sure that hospital staff are aware of those two, Im sorry their behaviour is putting up so many red flags the next step is they abduct a baby. Them being there for the birth is just sounding alarm klaxons for me and I wouldnt be surprised if they try convincing hospital staff that you are a surrogate and the baby is for them, or they simply try to steal the child. Being in the delivery room would make that a lot easier to do as they would be familiar with staff, know where the child is etc. In this case it would be like the robbers getting the vault opened for them. There are other options to experience parenthood if you are infertile that doesnt involve needing to be in the delivery room, and the father giving up his place for them? Does he even want to be a father? I would not choose to have missed my childs birth for anything. These people need therapy and perhaps afterwards consider adoption or a pet.

[@adornapendragon8953]

Story 2: OP RRUUNN!!!! AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!! 😱😱😱

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

Story 2 absolutely gave me the chills, that poor woman needs to run foetal abduction is a thing and they could become that desperate if she says no to them being in the delivery room

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Story one Wow that turn real dark real quick. Yeah cut contact with the mom, I mean both mom and dad fucked up by cheating thank god their divorced. Story two OP needs to talk to her husband why she's not comfortable and try to get through his head. But if husband still won't understand then maybe its time to reconsidered the marriage.

[@TifSC]

The only person with the right to decide who is present at the birth is the person giving birth. Giving birth is not spectator sport, and it's about the comfort of the mother and no one else.

[@kitkat9091]

s2: WTF? No NO NO!! Husband is WRONG! NTA Do NOT AGREE to this - giving birth is not a picnic !