My Parents Are Accusing Me Of Abandoning Them And They may Lose Their House r/Relationships

[@nikkiwhray1598]

It sounds like the parents in the 1st story were more than willing to let OP give up her own child in order to support them. They sound very entitled and selfish.

[@pippo17173]

It's so obvious too. Like they saw their only support ticket leaving and they emotionally manipulate her to avoid that.

[@mindyschocolate]

Kids don’t owe their parents anything.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

they might be the reason op was drinking.

[@shebakoby]

the narcissism vibes are strong on the parents.

[@VidWatcher01]

They are

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story UPDATE: OP is definitely NOT the asshole because now we know her parents' debt and money problems was not due to OP because OP's older sister was conned into giving the parents more money than OP's college tuition. So it sounds like the parents have used their children and guilted them into supported the parents. OPM is a very addictive drug and it is good OP is not enabling them and cutting them off. Hope she and her siblings can come together and support each other.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

That update just made me SO pissed! They're using both of their kids to pay off everything and playing a long con on OP to attempt to force OP to provide for them while using the sister for the exact same thing!

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Yep, parents like that annoy me as much as the parents who live through their children. Don't get me started on the other messed up stuff "parents" could/would do with their kids.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@kerribottriell-baxter7345 It mostly pisses me off because I'm a minor and my dad has tried to hint I should get a job so I can buy my own food. WHILE I'M A MINOR. So it feels like it's inching on shit I've experienced

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

@@lovelysakurapetalsyt Wow. Jobs are meant to gain experiences such as money handling and such, I know I will encourage my own when they get to legal working age to try out, (if they're willing and it does come down to school/activities/etc), but not to have it so they're going toward something their dad and I go ourselves in. If they are to contribute it's probably a small amount to get them used to 'paying a rent' sort of thing, so they have an idea in how to budget/save/spend. Life skills, but ultimately, our debts are ours. The other is the playing siblings against each other - I learned my own mother's mum did this with her and her sister. Thankfully her sister and her grew and put two and two together and they have a strong loving relationship now, but yeah - the stuff I learned about my grandmother, I love her, miss her, but darn... I know I could never do that with my 5 munchkins, and my sisters and I are too busy looking out for the other, even with our separate lives, to argue and bicker and hate. (We've witnessed it and don't like it much).

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@kerribottriell-baxter7345 Yeah, I know the experience thing since I already had a job but was bullied at the job (I'm too poor to sue cause I'd easily win the suit) and they assumed I quit when I told them I had COVID and couldn't hand deliver my paperwork the second I was diagnosed with COVID. Either way, he's super bad with money and actively has multiple times put himself into debt for things he didn't need, like a camper for camping, 200$ a month (a LOT when I live in a trailer home) for a pass at a camping place, and spends hundreds on Amazon every month for things he also doesn't need, which is resin stuff he claims he wants to sell, but then when he's done with a ton of stuff refuses to sell any of it

[@xElvirax]

@@lovelysakurapetalsyt Your dad sounds like a hoarder.

[@momo382844]

Second story: Way to go, OP! It’s always refreshing to see people call out their friend’s toxic bs and cut them off accordingly. I wish the couple nothing but happiness!

[@mpmansell]

Story 1. Nta. The fact they were adding to that debt while expecting op to cover it seals the deal for me. That is abusive as hell. Commenters ignoring that are ahole's. That was my opinion even before the update. After the update, it just shows how despicable the parents are. I also wonder how much their abuse contributed to op seeking emotional escape in alcohol, which would make their later guilting and exploitation all the more evil.

[@lemondropped8426]

maybe you can clear up some confusion for me. Where the parents already in debt and expected op to pay it off in return or did the parents go into debt because of op and they wanted op to help alleviate the debt?

[@LunarisArts]

@@lemondropped8426 they were already in debt, and kept adding to it.

[@lifewithlee6298]

a lot of abuser just asume that there victumes will get Stockholm and always be there. than there all shocked when they cut them off.

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

Plenty of parents cover university for their kids without ever imagining of asking for a penny. OP helped her parents as much as anyone should. She should be with her daughter! And her parents seem to be doing that just so they could keep the house. Why do they need a house when their kids have grown up anyway? My husband and I plan to move when we retire to either a very small house or a ground floor flat.

[@lemondropped8426]

@@LunarisArts thanks, i had a hard time understanding the story because of that one detail.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

"I don't make enough money to make them happy" don't feel bad apparently they don't either lol

[@elisecowry7926]

Story 2: He better send those pictures to his GF. She deserves to know.

[@Cannibalsnacks]

he talks trash about a trashy girl that hits on guys to supplement her ego? I am missing the big gotcha PS If a guy tried getting a girl to break up with her life long friend because he kept hitting of girls and got them to buy things that he then shared. then said her confronting him made him feel uncomfortable so she shouldn't see bestie you know everyone would be screaming toxic controlling isolating etc. her behaviour is terrible, him accepting it is terrible.

[@a.a131]

@@Cannibalsnacks lmao HAHDHS

[@LadyEllesmere]

@@Cannibalsnacks dafaq are you talking about

[@Cannibalsnacks]

@@LadyEllesmere im saying its trashy to hit on people if your in a relationship pertending your interested to get drinks. Its just lying about available for personal enrichment. Thats trashy behavior , so the friend calling her out on it isn't toxic or because hes into her ... its protecting your lifelong friend from someone who seems willing to alienate OP from anyone else close.

[@aylanae4797]

@@Cannibalsnacks but if this life long friend has a problem wouldn't he say it himself. If you're more mad than the person it's affecting who really has the problem? And he's done it multiple times that's not toxic? Also maybe I didn't hear or read but it didn't seem like Connor was turning down those drinks huh? As long as he can benefit its fine until he deems its not for someone else's relationship. So there's boundary stomping, controlling, misogynistic and talking shit behind her back....and your conclusion is he's just looking out for her best friend? I hope you day job isn't solving crimes or therapy🤣

[@kateemma22]

Connor's been a walking red flag his entire life and OP is only just noticing NOW? I mean, well done for getting there at last, but damn boy...

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

GF is also a walking Red Flag, who accepts drinks from strangers when out with their SO and constantly flirts when strangers when out with their SO? Connor may be an AH, but it also looks like he's picked up on some of the GF's more questionable behaviour. The way OP idolises this girl is really not healthy.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story: OP is NTA for saving herself. Her parents are addicted to shopping and can't control their own finances. They became codependent on their daughter and considered her their little "cash cow" and that's why they refused to pay for an out of town college because then she wouldn't contribute to their finances. They may have been there for OP, but they were supposed to be there for their daughter. OP needs to prioritize herself and her daughter's relationship. It is sad how selfish her parents are.

[@robertx8020]

According to the story they were after every cent OP made ..or she wouldn't be forced to hide money so they were planning on leaching if here FOREVER!

[@Amna613]

Story 3: OP is in the right. Daughter and son must be thinking, he is going to die soon so its actually our house in the long run.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Tell everyone EXACTLY, incident by incident, with names what they’ve done. Tell them if they come they will be signing a contract & you’ll hire HEAVILY ARMED guards 24/7 & anyone misbehaving will immediately be removed from your property by force. I’d even give every nearby hotel a heads up & suggest there is no room at the inn lol. Or the hotels can up their charges to cover any damages.

[@lacewinglml]

gosh, that last story... if I had a family member with a business that tgey were nice enough to let me stay at low or no cost, I would be so careful not to loose that privilege! those people sound entitled and gross (what were they doing to get someone's panties in the pump!! just omg.. ewewewew)

[@robertx8020]

I agree but ofc in the ice of the entitled family members this is all on OP ...why blame yourself when you can blame others!

[@lilli77]

We were actually in that situation. We rent out 3 apartments and let family stay for free. No problems till last time. 2nd worst flat my dad had to clean. Worst one for me. 3 days cleaning - where otherwise it takes 1-2 hours :')

[@janet6421]

I think the banana incident happened after someone watched "Life of Pi" and wanted to see if you can use them as a floatation device.

[@robertx8020]

@@lilli77 I bet you let them stay again the next time they asked? 🤣😂

[@lilli77]

@@robertx8020 its not that long ago, but we wouldn't let that part stay in the future 🤷

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 3: NTA. They say that people do not value "free". Sounds like OP's family subscribe to that mantra. Anywhere else, you'd have to pay for such lack of responsibility. Wasting bananas is horrible! OP didn't fall out refuse. Options were given. Daughter is entitled.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Last story: NTA!! I bet that they are waiting for you to kick the bucket so they can get their hands on your property!!

[@MrsLauraD]

Story 3: Make the bride and groom put down a massive deposit in order to stay and have the wedding there. After the stay the deposit will be returned minus any damages.

[@jodieg6318]

The parents are the worst kind of manipulators. Taking someone who loves and depends on them in when they are in a vulnerable state and use that a reason to say “you owe us!” If anyone finds themselves in such a situation remember this: Someone who helps your life dose not own it.

[@dcg590]

What about when they’re old? They’ll be hitting the kids up for a place to live. What are they going to do when that time comes? It’s going to be awful for op and sister. They have no money and will expect to be taken care of. Worst kind of parents to use your kids as a retirement plan 😊

[@You_said_what1]

The only thing I ever ask my children is to make sure I don’t end up in a state run facility when I’m old. 🤞🏽 (for people outside the US, that’s the worst of the worst.)

[@xElvirax]

It's the worst no matter where in the world you end up in elderly care. People who are dependent on others like that are at a higher risk for abuse, evil people seek those positions to gain power over others 😭 it's sooo sad!!

[@Snowshowslow]

As in: you'll save up for a nice facility and they have to arrange it? Or they "only" have to finance your stay in a nice facility for the years to decades you'll be there?

[@dcg590]

You have to make sure of that, not your kids

[@ravencrow1011]

Story 3, they seem spiteful by throwing bananas into the pool

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Last story: sounds like mom did not raise anything but entitled, spoilt little brats. Wonder if the ones OP put up in the hotel damaged that hotel room during their stay? Because they sure as hell damaged his property to hell and back. Screw them. Either make them pay regular rates - and put down a credit card for possible damage, just like a regular guest making a booking - or let them take pretty photos there and stay someplace else where just maybe, they will act like normal adults should!

[@Russman67]

Story 3: These family members were never taught how to act right and are happy to wreck OP's property. They are being entitled. Both options, especially the staff to clean up after their dumb asses are more than fair. Not the asshole.

[@SeeJthrive]

Story 1: I have a similar story. My parents lost their house after I moved out. They let me move in with them to escape an abusive relationship. What I didn't realize was that I was going into another abusive relationship. After 3 years of trying to help them due to their fixed income and disabilities, 3 years of my being prey to their emotional and financial abuse, I left. They had adjusted their lifestyle to the extra income I was giving them, and then some. They took out a mortgage on the house my mother had inherited, free and clear, to consolidate the debt they had accumulated. To this day, they always overspend. They took more than needed knowing the payment was too much, even with my contribution. When I moved, they told anyone who would listen that they were losing the house because I had refused to pay rent while I lived with them and was taking advantage of me financially... funny how the truth was flipped there. And that's just the to of the iceberg with those two... I'm near no contract with them now.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

If the parents in the first story can't afford the house they live in without the help of their literal child, they need to take a step back, reassess their financial situation and start living within their means. Whether that means selling the house or renting a room out, that's on them. It's not your responsibility. Even if they did help you a lot through your alcoholism and stuff, your parents are your parents. Part of their job is to be there for their children during hard times. It's wonderful that you have helped them out as much as you have when you don't owe it. That's what family and people do when they love each other but they can't expect you to not have a life and not see or be with your own child. You would think as parents they would totally get that. It's one thing to pay rent and pay your way when you're there and a totally different thing for them to rely on you pulling them out of the debt that they accrued through their own bad financial choices. Maybe it was a little lame to not just be an adult about it and tell them the plan instead of just lying and then not coming back but maybe you also felt you had no other option for fear of retaliation or them sabotaging it somehow. I'm interested in the context behind that decision but my judgments still stands either way.

[@RomeGod177]

S1: hit me hard. Had a friend who won the lottery on my state awhile back. There parents did that same thing an gotten lazy. They expected there child to pay for there golden years. They were in there early 50s. My crazy friend just said okay then left the state an block them. Last time I talk to them, all I told them is to be happy with there new life. 💯

[@astronautviolet153]

Story : 1 NTA Op should just continue to Go no contact with the toxic parents. Try to rebuild a relationship with her sister and daughter.

[@Donald43]

The last story is one of those stories where you think it's YTA by the title but then you read it and it's totally NTA.

[@canigetabooyaa6449]

Talk about "free drinks", I remember this one time I was hanging out with my roommate and some of her friends. this guy sat next to me and tried buying me a drink, which I told him that I was good and he didn't need to. ( I honestly don't find myself that attractive, so I wasn't 100% on the up and up about him trying to flirt.) My roommate turned to me once he left and kind of chewed me out saying that I should have gotten the drink, but even if I did realize he was trying to flirt I still wouldn't have taken it as I would feel like I took advantage of him as I really wasn't looking to go home with anyone and idk if that was what he was trying to do.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

Story One: The parents sound irresponsible regarding their debt. At their age my parents owned their home. Same with me and my brother. That's huge in this day and age when all we have to pay are utilities and taxes. This is her time now. To be on her own. Plus, she left so she could be near her child. That's HUGE!!!

[@itsjustme7487]

This was my mother. My neices got tired of buying cigarettes and beer for her. My brother and I got tired of making her credit card payments.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

@@itsjustme7487 Yikes! My only advice to you all (you, brother & nieces) would be to lock down your credit. People like this will often open a credit card in a child's/relative's name so they can continue their spendthrift ways. Yes - it's illegal, but the mess they create can take years to fix!

[@onurkneezb]

Story 3: ESH, the family for obvious reasons, and OP for being a doormat. 20:10 has it right (except the verdict), start calling them out and tell them they are banned until they pay up (which will be forever, because they only use OP for the property). If any of them do pay up, start requiring a cash deposit.

[@darthvegaslastnamenotrequi5698]

Story 3.) How to get disinherited 101. ETA: the comment who said "grow a spine"?? Dude obviously already has as he said F-that to letting them walk all over him and his property to begin with.

[@autumn557]

Can you imagine trashing someone’s home just because it’s not yours? And thinking “eh, they have employees to clean my bananas and panties up”

[@crowdemon_archives]

Man, I'm already embarrassed when I accidentally stain the stuff provided by hotels and AirBnB because of biology, and yet we have people with 0 shame like that huh.

[@cayootiepatootie]

Taking the first few minutes to say how much I appreciate your channel, Mark ❤

[@krishaunafisher]

Thank you for your content. I'm one week post op from a surgery (I think I commented it before) I've had a bit of a rough time but your videos help distract from pain. Love you lots hope all is well with you

[@kanelovec4315]

Op your an independent adult with your own family. Don't burn yourself down trying to keep ungrateful someones else warm. I hate parents that had kids and planned to use their kids as early retirement plans even though they probably can still work. Whats even worse the parents in this story are in extreme debt but they make no try to fix it and don't make financial changes like less luxuries, but still have the entitlement to complain. Parents like them have to be bed ridden and dying for op to help at all because they will take ever mile, dallor, and still expect more.

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope everyone is having a great day/evening/night! Peace, hugs and love to you all!

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good evening! Working overtime this weekend but extra money for Christmas is nice

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Good luck I send extra energy 💜💜🤗🤗

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589thank you

[@floraposteschild4184]

S3: the truth is Connor always was a more or less disgusting person; OP just didn't notice until now. He has matured, Connor hasn't

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA OP owes her parents nothing. Their home is their problem. If they lose their home, that is their problem. OP getting help from her parents whole going through a health issue(drinking problem) is EXACTLY what parents are for. And them trying to keep her from her kid to prop them up is just terrible. Edit: the fact that she had to leave under cover shows me they are pretty manipulative. If they were that far into debt, they shouldn't have paid for her education. Edit after update: the update showed how shitty the parents really are. Lying, manipulation. Narcissist's and abusers like to keep their kids at each other's throat so they don't band together. That seems like what happened between OP and her sister.

[@darlingJasper]

Hi Mark!! Hope you’re having a good day so far, I get excited every time you post! You’re voice is very nice and relaxing 🥺👉👈❤️

[@rebecca4480]

I hope you have a nice day too 🤗

[@tegantalks9612]

When I was in Florida I had men at a bar pay for drinks I already ordered. I was there with my friend and his girlfriend and the guys across the bar paid for my drinks and gf’s drinks lol

[@MrsSinette]

Re: randos buying drinks. For me, it honestly just depends on my mood. I'm typically a happy go lucky kind of person and see the best in people to a fault. I usually appreciate the gesture and sometimes strike up a conversation. I'm ok with doing this because I know how to set boundary and was raised by a Marine Corp close combat instructor who taught my siblings and I how to defend ourselves from a very young age. I also carry both a gun and pepper spray.

[@leighnisbett9691]

S1, Op it's your parents responsibility to pay off their debts and they need to learn how to budget their money .Op please stay where you are and try to reconnect with your child and ex ,live your life as full as possible and correct what you can from the past ,also look up local support groups for your addiction or problems .NTA

[@lornaaudley4236]

Story 1, if i was the parents i would have expected op to move as soon as she finished college to go live near her daughter. I hope there were good reasons to make op finish college near them but with the update i suspect not.

[@mogulmade]

Op in the final story is probably in Colombia. I love the Fincas 😍

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: kids aren’t responsible for their parents. Their house is their responsibility, not their grown kids.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Story 2: I find it hard to believe OP and his friend are older than 16 because they both seem so immature. "I was shocked to learn he was fatphobic" the years of dogging on your girlfriend's weight didn't give it away? wtf? lol I find it hard believe you can be best friends with a guy for over a decade and then be shocked by ugly parts of his personality. Also, accepting drinks from strangers is another sign of immaturity, everyone knows accepting a drink from a man is an invitation for him to come talk to you. People are crazy, who knows what a guy will do if a girl accepts a drink and he sees her giving it to her man. It's better off to decline and take no risks.

[@trevor7520]

A sign of immaturity? No, it's a sign that I'm cute and get free alcohol for it sometimes

[@brigidtheirish]

@@trevor7520 Yeah. I turned 21 while studying in Ireland and *rarely* had to pay for my own drinks because *someone* would pay. Seemed a bit weird once in a while, especially when this older man who *clearly* had a few too many kept buying me shots, but, hey, free alcohol. I discovered quite a few drinks while over there. Also, *no one* who bought me a drink tried anything inappropriate or even tried talking to me more than I wanted them to (aside from that older man I mentioned). Very respectful.

[@Habitarse]

To the last story, I would post the pictures of the place after they left it. I think it would be a good hint...

[@politereminder6284]

The bananas in the pool pissed me off more than anything 🤬 Maybe because I'm from a culture where bananas are the staple food. 😅. But seriously, playing with food is sooooooooo vulgar 🤢🤮

[@xElvirax]

I hate the ESH comment on story 1. Way to guilt her into doing exactly what her parents want her to do! Do people honestly think kids are just cutting contact with their parents for fun???

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@sherrygibbs7547]

You have to help yourself up, before you can help anyone else out. As long as OP remained with her parents, they would continue to suck her life dry. By not enabling the parents, by getting away from them, OP can now begin to get her life in order. She can then begin to help her parents straighten out. And, maybe she can begin to foster new and better relationships, with her adult siblings (without the parents interfering/meddling). Or, she can realize where there are toxic relationships, that toxic relationships are bad for her and her nuclear family, and walk away from them.

[@catcando1131]

First Story: I think there is still a good chance for a great relationship between the sisters considering OPs words.

[@socketyellow3]

Story 1, so op is supposed to wait 20 years for her parents to make a replacement wallet?

[@cheskydivision]

Buying someone a drink should be nice but it’s too often a way for men to feel entitled to a woman’s time and attention and also try to take advantage of them.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

Yeah, because women never feel entitled to a man's time and try to take advantage of them. As somebody who supports equality my primary goal is get female predation recognised and treated as seriously as male predation. I also wish to end Women Are Wonderful Syndrome.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Good evening Mark!! How are you doing tonight? I hope all is well, and I wish you a great night!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Heyo how is chu

[@chulutheimposter5415]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Eyo! I'm doing pretty well! Just sketchin' some random things before I get working on some actual projects :D How about you?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@chulutheimposter5415 nice glad you are well, I'm alright I just wish the weather wasn't so finicky lol💜💜🤗🤗

[@chulutheimposter5415]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 One day it's good one day it's bad?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@chulutheimposter5415 yee it's mainly really cold in the morning then it's 70 something by the time school gets out

[@ScarabD]

I'm totally cool with older people loving disney movies because the movies are generally good and designed to be viewed with families. But story 3's daughter nis being sort of ironic when you consider the actual themes of that movie.

[@lisaedwards2542]

The rug needed removing for these 2

[@momshardrockvideos]

Story1: NTA! It’s your parents debt. Period! You are under no obligation to support them. You need to be with your son. Put him first.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: Hope OP and her sister make up. Really sounds like the parents are super toxic and manipulated them both, so they could leech money from both.

[@charmcat123]

Story one sounds sort of familar to what I am going through right now. It could be a whole reddit story with what happened and happening. Some of it is dramatic but i just feel rather stuck.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Someone else's poor financial choices aren't your responsibility. Family, friends and close relations if they're paying more than they earn they need to look at financial aid, financial assistance and financial training. They were more than happy to use the OP, lie to the OP's sister in order to get more money and financially abuse the OP as long as it meant they got to spend money recklessly. It's good that they got out. They can't afford to retire? Sounds like a them problem. S2) It matters how he's making her feel. If she's saying she's uncomfortable with how he's acting and treating her that's all you need to go on. I'd say talk to him together, let him know that you stand by what she has to say and let her speak her mind. Let him know that you're both distancing yourselves due to these actions and her discomfort. Let any and all mutual friends know he's getting cut out and why. Dear lord that update. Talk about being the trash bin on fire. S3) Sorry but anyone regardless of who they are don't get to ask for favors when they've ruined the last favor given. Especially when they've destroyed/ wrecked/ ruined the property before. Just send back a message to your son for calling you selfish and uncaring "Then I guess you'll be looking for another place to plan things seeing as I could care less to be cleaning up after you all as if your still two years old. If you want to rent it you get the jerks who ruined things and made a mess like two year old fees. Extra interest for whining, complaining or even calling it unfair. Triple interest if you try to make me talk to your mom on this. All unrefundable." Then block the brats.

[@auburnsongbird2044]

So I understand why OP didn't tell her parents in the first story, cause I came from a similar situation. Ya see, what you have to understand is that this is an abusive situation, and people like mine (and OP's parents from the sounds of it) just aren't normal. They feel like they own you, and can use violent means to keep you under their thumbs. One wrong move with them can cost you everything, so chances simply cannot be taken. I once had my mom try to pull me out of a moving vehicle. At the same time, my dad jumped in front of the car cause he thought he could hold it in place. I was 20 and had been living on my own for two and a half years at that point. why were my mom and dad mad you ask? In a nut shell, because I wanted to go to Walmart without "adult supervision" AT 20 years old. I can still feel my mom's crazy long nails scratching at my face as she tried to shut my mouth so I couldn't scream. I'm living my best life with people who TRULY love me now, but my childhood was rough. Not all situations can be approached the same, sadly. Many times abused kids get labeled as "bad eggs" when the truth is they were only trying to survive. The abuser will always find a way to make it your fault. Thankfully, the world has changed and become more understanding. People have begun to better recognize signs of abuse, but there are still those who don't get it. That's why I appreciate your videos, because you always look at it from a compassionate, non judging place.

[@candiebarr6745]

The one is pretty obvious. Your child is your responsibility, your parents are not. You choose to have a child, the child doesn't choose to be born.

[@jacksongreen1319]

NEW VIDEO LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!

[@fhuber7507]

1... OP is NTA. Just an escapee from the parents' zoo.

[@janwojciechowski7227]

First story: seeing as everyone are going NTA, I will play devil's advocate. 1. It's not OP's debt - OP never mentioned why the parents had to take these loans, people in comments assume the worst but they just could have hard times. ALSO THEY PAID FOR OP'S COLLAGE. Which they didn't have to do because no one is entitled to college money. 2. Parents separated OP from her child - OP wrote it herself - it was the best solution for the baby's sake. Imagine being in debt and your alcoholic daughter who didn't finish her collage comes to you and is like "mommy, daddy Im pregnant". Taking this baby would be irresponsible. And OP shouldn't blame parents because the decision was hers. Without it she couldn't finish her school and go to work. So it was also for OP's sake. 3. Parents should tkae care of their children, but the children don't need to take care about parents because they don't owe them nothing - I help my parents because I love them, not because I owe them something. These parents helped her with her alcoholism but they don't deserve her help? How selfish way of thinking.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Story 1: Tell your parents if they are so poor, They can sell their life insurance! 😂

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day. About a year ago, my son was just getting home from inpatient after attempting suicide. Last night, my sister's partner of 10+ years committed suicide. My sister isn't doing good. Screw this.

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm so sorry, Dominic, that's terrible. I remember your son. I'm praying for your sister and all of you.

[@TailsFan]

Strength to your family and you at this painful time, and I hope your son is okay now. Be strong for your sister and help her however you realistically can. My condolences for your family's loss. Remember to take care of yourself, too.

[@deettekearns9092]

Wow. Story 3: So entitled. So ungrateful

[@ADWebTV]

Story 1: The parents suck at money. They should not have paid for her college, as they didn't have the money.

[@peteranon8455]

Indeed. Parents have a responsibility to remain solvent before they have a responsibility to pay for college.

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 1 - commenting again before hearing the update - because honestly, it's sometimes more interesting to do that. But honestly, I wouldn't see the friend's behavior as love for the GF at all. I can see how he reached that conclusion, and it would probably be the most obvious place to go with it. But no, I see it more as a social behavior that many people tend to do without it really being overly noticed or thought about - basically just working to keep another person 'in line' socially, by 'correcting' a thing about them that you deem off or unacceptable. I once had a similar thing happen in a grocery store - a random fellow shopper decided to force a change in my standing position (yeah she can go to hell, but the point is this does happen.) Sadly in OP's situation, it may have just happened to involve something way more serious.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Hi Mark!!! Why are you so addictive?? Keep up the great work!!🖖🏿🖖🏿🖖🏿🖖🏿

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1; NTA but your parents are!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@jessicapalmer3455]

💙💙🤗 to you too!!!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@jessicapalmer3455 💜💜🤗🤗 much love

[@Nihlus16]

I really needed to see this comment today. I felt like I was on the verge of a burnout so I just listened to an audiobook and caught up on Mark's videos today...but I started to feel awful for "doing nothing all day". Your comment reminded me that taking a day to zone out/relax in between house chores is not a bad thing. Thank you!

[@novabrilliant4510]

Have yourself a wonderful evening!

[@novabrilliant4510]

@@Nihlus16 it's important to be kind to yourself.

[@fhuber7507]

3... OP is NTA. F the self-entitled bridezilla.

[@fhuber7507]

Adn.. F the people who are abusing OP every chance they get. Just ban them all.

[@Josku2411]

Oop earlyish and currently drawing a dragon and he's so pretty

[@JasperCatProductions]

Why would your girlfriend even consider marrying OP. He continually allows hi bestie to treat her like trash. OP should have stopped this crap a long time ago. Ridiculous

[@thehoogard]

Everything else aside, you should NOT be accepting drinks from other people if you're in a relationship. It's disrespectful to both your partner, and the ones buying you drinks. Just turn them down.

[@jay2thaudy]

If my wife gets a free drink I'm not getting butthurt about it.

[@thomasdavis9456]

@@jay2thaudy sorry but I'm never understand why people think like that. I'd be pretty bummed if a girl accepted a drink from me thinking I had a shot only to realize she went over to her boyfriend or husband and a extra salty if she gives it to him. Buying a girl a free drink doesn't entitle you to her time, but accepting a free drink from someone who's flirting from you with no intention to reciprocate because you have a boyfriend or husband is quite a slap in the face.

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

Child first over parents. Move to be near your child! Every. Single. Time. As a parent, I would always help my child and I would NOT expect to be "refunded". Let them sell the house to get rid of the debt and rent something smaller. When out of doubt they can buy a small apartment.

[@IamayMizono]

So about Mark's bar story, those guys at the bar probably didn't see you guys and they only saw your two girl friends. They wanted to flirt by sending drinks only to realize that they had guy friends and by then it was too late.

[@CatacombD]

Most likely this. Also, to tie into the story, OP and OP's GF are both kinda shitty for accepting and drinking those drinks. The point of buying a drink is as an opening to begin chatting and/or flirting. If you have no intention of chatting, and already have a partner, turn down the drink and carry on with your night. Don't continue to accept any offer and pass them off to your partner/friends. To me, that behavior is on par with the people who see free mint/penny trays, and empty the entire thing into their pocket before leaving. I get that they're "free," but it's still a social faux pas.

[@lorifiedler13]

Security deposit for OPs daughter to haver wedding ay OPs place. Damages will be invoiced and deducted from deposit. Make deposit a ridiculous amount, like what a non family would pay for the time and space plus double wages for staff.

[@Spooky.Pookie]

Hey hey, Mark! ❤

[@helianabanes4875]

I guess if you have nothing to do with raising your kids, you kind of have to deal with their entitled, selfish behavior, because YOU created it. ESH!

[@lovelywolv]

Story 2: NTA ditch Connor. Did op ever say the GF was flirting with anyone to get drinks? Why is everyone in this comment section saying that? No. I'm assuming they saw her and pointed her out to the bartender to get her a drink. Yes it's a way to open flirting but none of the men approached her nor did she. This isn't about the GF anyways it's about the friend. If op doesn't care about his gf getting drinks why do you? Holy shit some of you people here are out of line. Hoping his gf cheats on him because he's secure in his relationship. I hope you fix your views before dating anyone.

[@leaflet1686]

Can I visit your Encanto? I will make food! I bake a good cake :3

[@Grace_x68]

S1 Think OP's addiction problems has a lot to do with the parents

[@a.n4031]

I think that in story one she left under false pretences was completely valid. Parents sound insane and I don't think she would've been safe for her to admit she was leaving

[@fluidwolf]

Not really got much to do with the actual stories but a lot of people seem to really not understand what chivalry was. It really didn't have anything to do with women or treating them nicely and was mostly about knights treating the people below them or under their care well. It was a knight's code and on that topic actually allowed them to kill people who insulted them, including women. The code of chivalry has nothing to do with treating women super nice.

[@tbuccelli]

Only question I would have is how much of the debt is due to the ops college costs?

[@nataliereeves3594]

Sounds like op in the first story has been bullied and emotionally manipulated by her greedy, financially irresponsible parents, her whole life. This may be what led to the alcohol problem in the first place. She was using it as an escape from her misery (not that I condone that behaviour, but I can c what triggered it). Sounds like theirs more to the back story than op has mentioned.

[@jas6940]

Connor’s own girlfriend was there but he pulled OPs girl aside and addresses her

[@owl7072]

Story 1: You shouldn't be having to stay home and cover someone else's debt just because they helped you in a time of need, especially since they _keep adding to the debt while expecting you to cover it._ That's literally some of the most manipulative shit I've ever seen. It's one thing to be appreciative and help them out in return for what they did, but it shouldn't be an _expectation_ and the fact that they were perfectly fine with you _giving up your child_ just so you can stay and help them with debt they keep _knowingly_ accumulating and refuse to do jack shit about? Disgusting. Why do I get the feeling they were main contributors to the factors that led Op to being an alcoholic? Like, this kind of behavior doesn't just come out of nowhere. Edit: "It was wrong of you to leave without telling them so they could make arrangements" do they sound like the type to just let Op leave simply because she asked??? These are people who essentially made their kid give up their grandchild just so they could keep relying on said kid to pay off their debt, they're not exactly rational.

[@melindaflick631]

Story 1 - sounds like OP's parents are hugely manipulative, and that they have lived well beyond their means for a very long time. While some small aspects of what OP did to escape were less than ideal, it does sound to me that this was the only way she could get out, so I'm glad she did it. Her parents financial behaviors are not her fault, they could have just said they couldn't afford to put her through college, if indeed her college expenses are what have tipped them over the edge. Sometimes, with people like this, cutting them off entirely is the only way to mental health and well being, let alone fiscal health. Story 2 - OP needs to tell Connor they can't be friends anymore because he's an asshole, and no longer friend behavior, and then just cut him off and block him. Sad. We do outgrow friends, or sometimes the asshole behavior shows up over time, OR we always saw it and stop ignoring it. There is no obligation to continue friendship when the other person isn't a friend to you, or to anybody.

[@queer.axolotl]

Notification Squad!! 🎉

[@thrillereighties8241]

What? She has to make a plan to pay back her parents? It is her parents who got into debt due to overspending. Get a clue. Not her problem. It is also the responsibility of her parents to help her with further education and if they really could not afford it then they should not have paid for it in the first place!

[@fhuber7507]

the 20 second time stamp link is broke.

[@ramerizmorris9462]

What the heck are you thinking your daughter come first not your parents

[@humanbeing8948]

Story 2: This relationship will break up soon. It makes no sense why the dude hasn’t proposed yet. Been together 5 years too long.

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

Some people never want to get married. I’m one of those. I would be with someone forever, but never marry

[@diya-hn2wy]

why do they need to be married to be in love

[@peteranon8455]

Ah yes, let's involve the state in my relationship.

[@chloebotmama]

Okay entitled daughter want her wedding at your home, you offer a hotel she can’t take it because they will get kicked out and charged for damages

[@fcold9402]

1. You are supposed to grow up and move out. NTI. Why are your parents dependant on you?