My Parents Want To FORCE My Deaf Sister Into Special Needs School r/Relationships

Relationship Reddit Stories, OP's parents are trying to force their younger daughter into a special needs school when OP believes she doesn't need to go there.
#redditupdate #redditrelationships #relationshipadvice

[@DavidSwan1958]

Listening to people’s advice on how to talk to the parents 😂 You know they had parents that actually listened to them

[@hm5468]

Right 😂😂😂

[@JadeAkelaONeal]

Yeah it's laughable. "Go ask them how they are feeling, like you think you're their friend instead of their child!" 😂😂😂 That's NOT gonna go well.

[@shmellomello]

Idk why, but It seems like the parents in the story about the deaf girl want to just be rid of her; she'll be out of sight, out of mind. It would make sense if they view her differences from their other kids as defects. Overall, I feel really sad for that little girl :( I am glad she has such a great older sister to back her up, though.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Yep I sense they are just trying to take the “easy” way out tbh

[@rozbudell]

Agreed. I was thinking the exact same thing.

[@pamelalaub6204]

I was shocked when my blind friend said she was glad she was blind and and not deaf. She said with her cane and kind people she can get around. She felt deafness would make communication more difficult. I was speechless!

[@christelletaljard4266]

Helen Keller said being blind cuts you off of things, being deaf cuts you of from people

[@DivineRenegadeDeanna]

Deafness during the pandemic was hell, and so were my fellow "human citizens". 95% of People i Was forced to deal with during the pandemic violated my basic human and constitutional rights with every single interaction. I learned to hate the citizens of my own country during that fiasco of lies, especial the demons of Cali-fornia. Americans are disgusting, the pandemic revealed the truth of them all

[@pigeon1923]

I doubt she would be too happy about a deaf person saying something similar about being blind. You can lip read, sign, have subtitles on whatever you want to watch or for phone and zoom calls etc. generally have a better grasp on reading people's emotions and body language so communication may be a bit easier to some deaf people. At least that's my experience being partially deaf. Still insensitive for your friend to say though because regardless both are still losing out on a sense. There will be a lot of gains and a lot of losses as well.

[@katwiltz1134]

​@@christelletaljard4266 oh my goodness I never heard that before that's stellar Nation point it's so Prime thank you for sharing.

[@katwiltz1134]

​@@pigeon1923 it's not insensitive it's the way feels dealing with her unique set of circumstances . it's a real thing to say. And we are still allowed to say real things. the only one that wouldn't get offended & to find that offensive is a choice her truth should not harm others and it doesn't accept for a lot of people who want to be triggered . Legless person is allowed to say but I'd rather have my legs then my arms cuz you know what the armless person might disagree. The important part is they get to say that to each other. When you come from only one perspective it is literally 3 times harder to speak to someone of another perspective.

[@nolainecrusher6475]

I loved the resolution of the story about the woman who discovered her husband was cheating with her bully. Now, if the ex-husband ends up in a long-term relationship with the bully, the bully hasn't "stolen" OPs man, she's just wearing OPs ratty cast-offs.

[@ladyv5655]

Yes, and the bully will make his life miserable, but he deserves it. So no sympathy for him.

[@charityquill4965]

"be careful with her" HOO BOY THIS IS SO DELICIOUSLY SATISFYING. Imagine the sheer distress in shitty ex husbands face 😈

[@pitviper2]

meh, i still think it was kind of cowardly to not put them both on blast, i understand that she's fixated on "not giving the bully the satisfaction", but she still did, just in a more passive way. she should've nuked their reputations and just be chill about it so bully doesn't feel "satisfied" imo

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

How are OP's parents even able to have their daughter placed at a school for kids with mental health and behavioral issues if they've never even gotten any such diagnosis from a doctor? Shame on the parents and the school for being so presumptive and narrow minded.

[@Ashakat42]

Money

[@peggyseabrun4829]

Parents want to hide their less than perfect child. I wont be surprised if when placed in the environment best suited to her that she exceeds the accomplishment of her siblings

[@curtisfranzen986]

This is completely true. Hiding the problem can certainly make it much more difficult to deal with. I know my situation is not the same, but here it is. I'm Dyslexic and have ADHD. For years I struggled educationally. Now my parents knew that I had issues, but never told me I had been officially diagnosed. Many years went by without me knowing for sure. I had strongly suspected though. I finally asked Mom a few years back about it. Mom obviously said yes. I asked why she never told me. Mom answered that she didn't want me to use it as an excuse or a crutch. To note my parents did get me care for my conditions, they just never told me what it was for.

[@robinwhite4148]

⁹q9qp9q0q

[@cyndyghost784]

My parents did not hide my brother's dyslexia.... The school and I helped him with it.... We went to extremes and now he reads very well....

[@kurotsuki7427]

Her siblings sound pretty smart and talented too. I bet they all will do well if Anna and OP can get help amd support.

[@kimsawyer3918]

O.P. your not wrong at all your parents have not educated them selfs on schools. My nephew is one who has autism we fought like hell to get him into a school that specializes in children with this disorder.alot of the schools here are like the school your parents want to send your sister to. Keep being the best big sibling you can be .do not argue with your parents ask them to take a tour of various schools. And as a family go to meet people who are hearing impaired. I respect and honor you as the best big brother a girl can have . You are not wrong.

[@katwiltz1134]

Yeah what you said! You are the guidance counselor in high school that I never had keep it on and take it easy.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

My mother works at a special needs school and if the school those parents want to send Anna to is anything like my mother’s then I can tell you right now that environment is not right for a deaf child that has no other disabilities. She will be behind her peers as the curriculum is focus heavily on basic life and social skills with small amounts of traditional education for children that are deemed capable. Not to mention it can be quite a chaotic environment, which for a deaf child with no mental disabilities/awareness of their surroundings can be very distressing. Especially since she could become witness to some very graphic things. She may also have a lot of difficulty making friends as many disabled children in specialist schools have niche ways of communication as they may not be able to speak, have limited movement, not understand spoken language, use exaggerated movements, or use only sounds to communicate. Special needs schools are wonderful but as far as I know are for the severely mentally and physically disabled which doesn’t seem to be the case for Anna. The parents scream ableism and the outcome of the update is, although promising, not good.

[@charaxiphare]

Also a majority of special ed schools are incredibly abusive in general.

[@muhname6052]

Niece coworker: this story could have been great if the mother hadn't ruined it. She just couldn't take her head out of her own life to realize that she wasn't grandma.

[@melvinyoung3474]

Story 2. She can't hold anyone responsible for back child support except her dead father.

[@monkeynumbernine]

Ugh- I really feel for that young deaf girl. My family moved every single year 2 weeks after school started. I attended 1 good school in elementary 😬. Parents may not realize how impactful it is.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

I feel so sad for the poor guy who was forced to come out but while at the moment he doesn’t realise it he is about to start a wonderful new life where he can be himself, especially when he starts to meet people who accept him for who he is. I’m so glad he still has his brother.

[@autodogdact3313]

I will never understand how so many "Christians" can totally disregard that Christ's message was to love everyone, that love is the most important thing. He wanted people to see all others as God's children. If they believe that God does not make mistakes they should understand that He makes all types of people, different races, different sexualities, ALL people. Christ said, "Judge not, lest you be judged". How can they think He would turn His back on anyone? I think He would be saddened to see how His main message is disregarded in His name.

[@TheNormExperience]

“They cited the times she wandered during trips to the theater or made noises during the performance.” Yeah...cuz she’s SIX!

[@heleneclark563]

1st Story: I don’t think that you’re a know it all or a brat. I think that you’re a wonderful big brother to your sister.

[@rebecculousrk]

The story about the long lost niece hit strangely close to home for me. My oldest brother committed suicide when I was 16. At the time, he was a young husband with two very small daughters, and a cruel and manipulative wife. After his death, she and the girls disappeared. That was 1985. Two or three years ago, the younger of the two little girls was put in touch somehow with my father, her grandfather. She’s an adult with teenaged daughters of her own. There was a ton of ensuing drama, and in the end, she went off the rails on meth. It was desperately sad, we learned that their mother had been abusive and neglectful. The girls had been isolated and hungry.

[@francit4856]

Just found my Niece: Absolutely DO NOT invite your Niece to the wedding. That day is supposed to be about the Bride and Groom, not a newly discovered family member. Bring her to other family events in the future IF she wants to come.

[@DivaBabyTX512]

The story where the girlfriend threatens to out her BF if he doesn't marry her...sickened TF out of me. It was the comments giving him different ways to preemptively lie to his parents to keep himself safe...FROM HIS PARENTS!! My daughter knew she liked girls at 11 years old. And my main focus since then has been to be her main Ally. I couldn't imagine anyone giving her ways to lie to protect herself from my retaliation. OMG my heart hurts for this young man. And this is why I go out every Pride weekend and give out Mom Hugs.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Good I feel so sorry for op. He's feeling guilty over not being able to magically fix the crap his mother was pulling in his deceased brother's kid. He shouldn't blame himself. He essentially froze in a crisis. A lot of people do that. It's like he did there hoping for the best outcome, but his mother set fire to their living room. Him sitting there in disbelief and shock is completely understandable

[@minelliabrissiaud2321]

For the ex best friend of 12 years story, I want to say that my personal motto for years has been "forgive, but never forget." If the other mutual friends abandoned op due to the defamation of character the ex friend's ex had spewed around, then it should be up to the ex friend to correct them that op was not to blame. Op can forgive without forgetting. Either saying "I accpet your apology" but then never contact the ex friend again, or "I accept your apology" and slowly start a new friendship with her, but without letting her guard down and acknowledging this as truly a new chapter and new friendship, not taking this from where the old friendship had been left on. There was a lot of trust that was broken and healing takes time. The lies the ex friend's ex had spewed definitively needs to be rectified and corrected with the mutuals though before anything else can move forward. This video is 6 months old (compared to my comment now,) so I'm curious to know how things went in the end.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

I was born hearing impaired. I didn't speak until the age of three. My mother was told I was severely ret*rded and should be put in a home. My father refused to believe it. He demanded I be seen by other professionals. At two and a half my hearing was tested. 37% loss in my left ear, 45% in the right. Unfortunately; I never received any special education(ie; learning sign) To this day I struggle to function greatly in crowded, loud places. I hate going out during busy times since I can't differentiate between sounds or sound directions. My mother gets angry every time I bring up my impairment, and tells me to "get over it" and/or, "you're making to much of it, it's not that bad". She also thinks my being left handed makes me disabled. :/

[@D-me-dream-smp]

I’m so sad to hear you had your needs so badly neglected as a child and missed out on the things you deserved. Have you ever reached out to any groups for hard of hearing or seen if there is any support out there to help you live your life to its fullest? I hope your father continued to support you. You are a worthwhile human being deserving of a good life and your struggles are valid and real but do not make you any less valuable. I know it’s difficult but believe in yourself and advocate for yourself- realise you are worthy of fighting for.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

@@D-me-dream-smp I have lived this way for over fifty years now so.... I have tried to get hearing aids but was told my hearing isn't "bad enough to qualify". While my father did "stand up for me" it was not that useful for the most part. He had a talent for deliberately p*ssing people off, which made me a social pariah. He literally threatened school staff and constantly antagonised people to the point I was tormented throughout my entire childhood(this includes my mother's family). My mother and her family hate me for being "his daughter", my father denied that I was his kid(he accused my mother of cheating for myself and my younger siblings) He would only "protect me" when it was convenient or if it would upset my mother and her family. In a twisted way he was trying to "win" my loyalty over "her family of snakes" Such fun times.

[@mariabarker2036]

"Get over [being deaf]" How does she think that would happen? I am so sorry. I am 60 yo, and suspect my parents would've been like yours, had I had your "differentness".

[@canadalovesanime3137]

@@mariabarker2036 Both of my parents were like that. My father was less so. He had injuries that caused him blindness in one eye so he was more understanding as to the inability to get over it. My mother has always been way too worried about how others see her. She still to this day gets mad at my oldest and myself when we publicly disclose our ages(oldest is 29, I am 54). She doesn't want people to know she has grandchildren/children as old as us. She even spent years trying to convince me that admitting my actual age was a sign of insecurity and mental disturbance. I wasted SOOO many years worrying about useless, stupid things like that. My grandparents(mother's side) and her side of the family were always going on about the family's "reputation" being tarnished by my mother, my father, and my siblings/myself. The whole "don't talk to ANYONE about 'private' family matters" was drilled into my head from the moment I could talk. :/

[@katwiltz1134]

Oh sweetie I just texted your mom is retarded. The teachers really need to concentrate more on if the students can hear see and speak. Instead of making a political indoctrination be able to spot a learning disability a mile off but they don't so thank you to the few rare great teachers out there I know it seems like nobody cares but keep on catching it because not all parents have to be evil sometimes to just uneducated about such things.

[@mog-gyveroneill2500]

I feel sick for Ana..her parents are utterly disgraceful. I just hope OP is in a position to overrule things if they reneg on swapping schools if Ana wanted to.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

There are so many liars, I’d be wary too. Best to ALWAYS get proof. Sad that innocent people are hurt in the process.

[@hm5468]

I really don’t understand why the OP of the story with the husband-bully would even think of hiding why she wanted a divorce. Like I cannot wrap my head around it. She cares way too much about not giving her bully satisfaction and doesn’t think far ahead to realize that her kid will start asking her questions and she’s opening herself up to being misunderstood and judged by people around her especially since all they know is that her hisband is perfectly fine and she’s leaving him taking his unborn child with her. It’s one thing to leave a marriage because of general dissatisfaction and it’s anither look to leave it for that flimsy reason with a child still on the way. And also she really has no good grounds to keep this under wraps. She’s quite literally doing her bully and her cheating husband a huge favour. What a bad decision for no reason.

[@staylor3483]

Info for Ex-boyfriend drugging OP: In many places in the USA, certain police departments are better at handling domestic disputes than others. Where I am in New York State, the county sheriff's dept is trained better than village & state police. OP NEEDS to report her ex's behavior so there is a record of this abuse on file before things escalate. She definitely needs an escort who is filming everything when she gets her belongings.

[@chriss-nf1bd]

The deaf girl brother has two other options. emancipate sue for custody. (Nuclear Option) Or sue the school district to teach sign language along with English. Sense sign is the other American language. American with disabilities act is ther to protect Anna. Time to use it for more then wheelchair ramps.

[@kbf9644]

“She thought she was protecting her family.” That redheaded baby was also “her family”.

[@Lillypop93]

Omg yes thank you!!! There is nothing that anyone can say that can convince me she didn't know with every ounce of her being that that baby wasn't part of her family stop cat making a mess

[@Lillypop93]

Lol I used text to talk it caught me fussing my cat at the end

[@kbf9644]

LOL! The cat is TA. Oops, wrong sub. 😂 That’s too funny. 😁

[@vanesalodico7798]

I think you are being too harsh on the mom. She was a single mother with too much on her plate and she didn't know the mother was telling the thruth, i heard so many stories of addict mother lying and cheating. For all she knew the woman was lying

[@Lillypop93]

@@vanesalodico7798 she knew.

[@uniquesongstress]

She'd rather not tell the truth that he's cheating on her because she doesn't have to deal with them knowing they got to her? That is utterly ridiculous. You'll willing to be portrayed as the villain for no damn reason. You can be calm and still be truthful.

[@carlrood4457]

She ignores him, is fairly hostile, and doesn't care enough to remember his birthday. Then she gets pissed at the idea he wants a divorce when they've been roommates for a year. Have to wonder how her mind works.

[@muhname6052]

Found my niece: yeah this story always makes me upset with the mom/grandma she could never see past "I'm grandma" she's not. She's just her sperm donors mom. It's harsh but it's true.

[@therubberchicken630]

⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶⁶the first thing I do was was the for way family 👪 💯 😪 ❤️ 😔 😌 😌 👪 💯 😪 😪 ❤️ 😔 😌 😌 👪 💯 😪 ❤️ 😔 😔 😌 👪 💯 😪 ❤️ 😔 😌 👪 💯 😪 ❤️ 😔 😌 the 👪 are not an hour 😀 😄 👍 ❤️ 😊 🤣 🤣 😀 😄 👍 ❤️ 😊 🤣 you 😀 😄 ❤️ 😊 👍 💖 😀 😀 😄 ❤️ 😊 you 😀 😄 ❤️ 😊 👍 💖 😀 😄during ❤️ hx7x v gg

[@alfr1]

After talking to the Deaf school and asking them to contact your parents. If they still want to place her in a Mental Institution, call Police/CHILD Protective agency. They will rate her learning ability and not try to dump her in a Insane asylum.

[@CellarSinger]

With the op finding his niece, there's an extra added complication since he is her supervisor, he needs to look over the rules at work because this may bring up issues with HR.

[@pamelalaub6204]

He'd need to make clear to HR that be was unaware of the relationship until very recently and they'd had no previous contact.

[@pressxfor7219]

About the massage gf Laying on him, whining, etc. Is she a cat? god damn.

[@YourShadowKeeper]

Why do so many people in the US have such a major issue with child support? For most people, if you have intercourse with a person of the opposite sex there is a risk of pregnancy (PtV). No contraceptive is 100% effective, and there is always a chance no matter how many contraceptives you depend on. If pregnancy occurs and a baby is born both people are legally, financially, and morally responsible for said baby, unless of course, they make the choice to surrender their parental rights. The non-birthing parent should be automatically held responsible for child support, they don't have to be in the child's life, but they should be equally as financially responsible for the child's basic needs as the birthing parent is.

[@carlrood4457]

Take the silent treatment as a gift, not a punishment. Don't get pissed or frustrated, just go about your day.

[@pamelalaub6204]

My cousin was a charming, charismatic alcoholic. He got his girlfriend pregnant and married her. They had a son and shortly after had a daughter. Her mother took the children and went across country to live with her parents and went NC with everyone. She divorced him and he didn't see his kids for years. His daughter connected with his side of the family through Facebook. I once said her father would have been very proud of her as a woman and mother. She got furious and told me to never mention him again. He finally got to know her a bit before he committed suicide via overdose. She and her son will never have them in their lives. We are on touch again but I avoid talking about him or his part of the family. Her mother finally told her I was kind and helpful when her children were born. That seems to have helped.

[@necilya]

I would love to have another update on the nice woman who’s husband cheated with her bully.

[@nikkismith2858]

Regarding Ana, it’s really important having an advocate that understands you & will fight for you esp as parents may not always be emotionally/financially equipped / flexible ot bother to take the time to understand. They also may live in an area with little resources support or will in actually taking the time to understand. As with most disabilities people with them can get overlooked and often perhaps like in this case underestimate their abilities. I was born partial hearing / wear hearing aids and I think esp growing up I used to miss out on what people say and then make the same point later it makes you seem a bit mentally slow /behind. Also heard the story that a family disregarded their 2 deaf siblings because they made deaf/disabled noises (it’s hard to speak and pronounce words you can’t hear and never heard in the first place ) and assumed these noises meant they were intellectually disabled too and didn’t understand and wrote them off. You need the advocates, people that also share your disability to relate to and role models. I went into teaching teenagers an academic subject and many people didn’t think I’d manage it (being 4ft 11 women was also seen as a disadvantage) but having a deaf science teacher who was good at his job and popular made me see it was possible. I’m bright and cope well and honestly never felt I was disabled until I got ME which gave me mobility issues but that’s another story.

[@nikkismith2858]

I mean teaching science to hearing teenagers

[@magicmiya7545]

My nephew is hearing impaired and it’s brought up a lot of the 90s mentality of “just treat them exactly the same as anyone else” - a reminder that some of the world isn’t prepared for equity. Fortunately my sister is not of that mentality.

[@jingerjar1365]

Still frustrating sending her to the school not best. They still refuse to see the deaf school as the best school for her. They refuse to back down from first decision

[@ninacruz5592]

DAMN! SISTER is NOT LOVED BY THEM. SO MANY SCHOOLS 4 DEAFNESS. PARENTS ARE EVIL. WOW! DEAF PEOPLE ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN US. PARENTS ARE SICKENING

[@katelandcates04]

Just really curious… why do people think people do not lie in books? It’s just as easy to lie there as it is on tv or radio or anywhere else for that matter.

[@ladyv5655]

The story about the guy who wants his gf to get an abortion. She needs to make sure he signs away his parental rights. I don't trust him to try to go back to her a few years later for visitation. Even though he decided to stay, he seems flaky and he's probably going bolt later on.

[@JeremyBolanos]

Those parents are just awful

[@kessiawright1710]

I think that sometimes people don't understand that relationships can have an eb and flow. I remember watching a Goldie Hawn interview years ago. The interviewer said you and Kurt (Russell) always look like you always have great sex. She said basically said that it wasn't always like that, but they understood that relationships have times when they were great and other times were boring, or weren't so great, but that they love each other and stay together. She said they know things change over time. Relationships grow through some bad times. They just understood that and know things get better again. Sometimes they can't give each other 100% of themselves, and the other gives more. It is life. There are always relationships that end, but sometimes you just need to wait things out and remember what you love about the person, even after some of the "cute" things that you used to love now irritate the hell out of you. I am not talking about abusive relationships though. The first time someone hits you, leave. I don't care if you are a man or woman. Leave. Don't wait until you think you deserve it, which ends up happening, just leave the first time it happens. Everyone has bad days and says something mean, however, if it is something that is a regular occurrence, it is verbal abuse and you need to kick them to the curb. Sometimes verbal abuse can be worked through with couples counseling, but if no change occurs, you need to leave. If you have kids, don't stay because of them. Even if your partner treats them well, they often hear and see what is going on and it still hurts them. It is setting them up for abusive relationships in the future. They shouldn't think it is normal or that anyone deserves it. It is scarring. Leave.

[@kittikats]

The story with the blackmailing gf and the gay OP. The friend was right and OP needs help to deal with his problem. But the problem is his family is bat crap crazy and abusive, not that OP is gay.

[@rozbudell]

It really sounds like the parents want to get rid of their deaf child by sending her away…. They don’t have an emotional attachment to her, so they are basically getting rid of her… pawning her off on other people. Quite sad.

[@hekatsees9449]

1st Story: High IQ and big heart; OP, you sound amazing. Can you video your sister’s day or maybe week (edit as best you can) with musical accompaniment (music is what they best understand) including a day at the school which they wish to place her at? Document in writing what you think, what you’ve observed in a beautiful journal… They are artists and every detail matters. You are the observer letting them come to their own conclusions, with your assistance, of course…

[@Ms777Lena]

She is amazing but the parents are total fools. I am so sorry for the child. Deaf school is the best logical solution.

[@liya70]

جاد زيى تزع اانا ولا فل ولا دج كهد

[@judymetzger3253]

Fact of life no good deed goes on punished. I have not met anybody yet that when they have their friend prove that their boyfriend is cheating that they don't turn on the friend.

[@sleepwalking3345]

Its unpunished. No good deed goes unpunished. /lh

[@princesssunshine874]

I'm going to get a ton of shit for this but here goes nothing.. The post where OP finds his niece. First, I am really curious if Op's brother was even an adult when he slept with niece's clearly adult mother. It mentions he was a teenager. If he was under 18 it was on nieces mom. My next thought is going to get me problems I am sure. However, while OP's mom really handled this badly and she would have taken her grand daughter in if she had known. Op's niece was not op's mom's child. OP's mother had a lot on her plate trying to save her son. Op's niece can be angry at her grandmother all day because her life was truly horrible. However, blaming her grandmother because her mother and father made poor life choices isn't exactly fair.. Grandma should have just taken it, but i understand why she felt defensive after OP's niece basically bitched her out in that letter.

[@AnaLucia-wy2ii]

I don’t think his deceased brother was under 18 when his niece was conceived. He was around 10 or 11 and his brother was 10 to 11 years older than him (20-22) when his niece’s mother came around with the baby/toddler.

[@zara2duchess]

This is in response to the story about the accidental pregnancy … but from a totally different perspective. The following isn’t asking for validation or a judgement of a silly, immature teenager. Nor am I expecting advice. From the time that I was born, after my younger sister, Julie, was born 3 months & a few days after my 7th birthday as well as 6 or 7 months after our baby brother, Danny, was born, my childhood was a fairly happy one. Then Danny stopfped growing &/or gaining weight. After everything was examined no one could figure out why, even after he had spent a few months in the hospital under medical observation. As suddenly as he stopped “thriving”, he suddenly started gaining weight & growing … almost as if he was trying to make up for lost time. What was so baffling was that he was getting the same amount of formula & “solids” as he had been given for well over 2 or 3 months that were just barely keeping him satisfied &/or happy & then he suddenly started getting chubby even though he hadn’t been a chubby baby right from the very start. Mom had been accused of depriving him of the proper nutrition &/or being a “bad mother” before it was proved that she was completely innocent & she never completely recovered from those nasty comments that she overheard so many times from self righteous nurses when they were talking behind her back. As a result of her being accused of being a bad mother, strongly hinted at by different medical people &/or hearing the nurses saying that Danny shouldn’t be given back to Mom’s care because she was obviously doing something bad or neglectful to him that led to his current health issues, Mom became paranoid which eventually led to her becoming manic depressive, which resulted in Mom spoiling Julie & Danny but treating me horribly. Over the next 5½ - 6 years she yelled & screamed at me several times a day, every day. Blaming me for being born because I was living proof of her biggest mistake of getting tricked by my biological father into having sex for the first time when she was 16 yrs old, getting married to him after he got her pregnant & every bad thing that happened to her ever since. She forced me to wash dishes no matter how dirty & dried on food the dishes were. No one rinsed off the dishes as well as the dirtier the dishes so, when I went to wash them by hand, Mom would give me an irrational amount of time to get them all washed & then put away or I would be punished. Her favorite punishment for me was spanking me with something other her hand. I think the worst one I was spanked with was a piece of a 2x4 left over from some building that had weathered nails sticking a little out of the other side of the board … the nails were longer than the board was thick … Mom deliberately had the side of the board that the nail ends were sticking out of the board facing towards me when she spanked me with it on my bare backside until her arm started to get sore. If I cried whenever I was being punished, I got several more hits across my backside. After Mom was finished “disciplining” me, she told me to pull up my pants & told to “get back to work”. However, the time she hit me with the piece of 2x4 with the nails poking through blood was oozing out of the multiple little wounds from where the nails had punctured my skin. She told me that if I got blood stains on my clothes, she would punish me again for getting blood stains on my clothes only it would be worse than what I had just gotten. I had to get them to stop bleeding so I put toilet paper folded up over all the wounds, carefully pulled my pants up to prevent the “bandages” from moving off of my wounds & then I went back to getting the last of the dishes washed & put away. There were so many other things that Mom did to punish me for living but her saying that I looked exactly like my biological father when everyone else said that I look like a younger version on her hurt me worse than any physical punishment & I started spending as many weekends at my step grandpa’s house as I could get away with. It didn’t change the fact that I usually had Friday to Monday’s dishes to wash by hand when I got back home after school. But I always went back “home”. The situation that brought me to decision to leave my parents’s house for good was when I decided to go to school one Monday morning shortly before my 15th birthday & I didn’t go back home. I didn’t even tell anyone what I was planning. I walked from school to Grandpa’s &, when I got there without any warning, I told him that I had run away from home. He asked me if I had told anyone at home … nope. When was I going to go back home … whenever. Was I going to call & let them know where I was … just in case that they would be worried that something had bad had happened to on the way home … nope. Grandpa tried to get me to call them as he didn’t want them to worry about whether I was alive or dead, if I was lying somewhere injured badly enough that I could die from all my wounds, once again … nope, so Grandpa called them with me in the room. As he had no idea when I was going to go back home, if ever, Mom didn’t really care. Come Friday morning I told Grandpa that I was going back home on the bus that same afternoon. When I started walking up one of our two driveways back at the family home I could hear Danny & Julie running around yelling, screaming & laughing while Mom was trying to get them to get into the car so that they could go meet up with Daddy for when he got off work so that they could get supper & then then go grocery shopping. 5As I came into view of the house I could see. Mom was pleading for the. It took me only one minute to ascertain what was going on & then I told them both to get into the car. Mom was starting. Danny & Julie suddenly stopped running around, yelling, screaming & laughing to quietly obey me. Mom just looked at me with a surprised look on her face which quickly turned to a pissed off scowl just before she climbed into the car behind the driver’s wheel. As she was climbing into the car she informed me that there were a lots of dishes for me to wash & catch up on. Once again I was totally had to catch up on … once again I was told to not use the dishwasher again no t allied to

[@pamelalaub6204]

I'm so sorry you were treated that way. Your guardian angel must have been busy protecting you from infections or tetanus from the nails in the boards. I was treated like a house slave by my parents. I did everything from grocery shopping to cooking 6 nights a week to doing all the laundry and cleaning the house. I set and cleared the dinner table and washed the dishes by hand and putting them away. My younger sisters were close to my age and did nothing but get into mischief. When caught they'd lie to Dad and claimed I dared them to do it. I'd get beaten with a mesh Navy belt with the big buckle. He'd hit my bare back and bottom. I was afraid to tell my teachers. They'd tell me to quit fidgeting in my state. They had no idea how much pain I was in. When I got pubic hair I told Dad if he made me get naked to be beaten I'd tell the social worker at church. He found other ways to make my life miserable. I graduated from high school but couldn't go to any parties because my chores needed to be done. I've never been an early riser but the next day was my 18th birthday. I got up at 7:00 am, grabbed my suitcases and left home forever. They tried to force me to return to return to being their house slave. They refused to sign papers saying they didn't support me so I could apply for student aid for college. I didn't speak to any family member for over a year. Friends helped me to stand on my own. I hope you had supporters, too. I saved money and paid for college courses on my own. I pray when you got away from your toxic family you thrived.

[@manxeable]

A Chilean comedian refers to himself as "sad balls" when he makes a joke about him catering to his wife's every whim. The ex-girlfriend's dad sounds like a sad balls to the bone 😂

[@teresafinch7790]

The niece sounds a wonderful young woman.

[@sleepwalking3345]

Shes a little girl! Not a 'young woman' shes 6!!

[@kichikitsu]

@@sleepwalking3345 this was 3 months ago but girl... they're talking about the second story, aka the one with the niece. The niece is 21 years old. Anna, the 6yr old little girl, is first OP's sister not niece?? if you're gonna call someone out for using creepy language about a child please actually pay attention to what they say bc you clearly missed a very important context clue.

[@theholyhorehay]

My best friend suddenly ghosted me after about 3 years of friendship (doesn’t seem like a lot, but we had been through a lot together). After 9mo of no contact (we lived in different cities 2 hrs apart) her boyfriend who I had known since before they even met asked if he could call me. She had moved back to her home state and after doing long distance for a bit, had ghosted him too. The reason she gave him for not talking to me anymore? Whenever I called I was too happy. For most of our friendship I had been single and very depressed (not because of the single thing). I had recently met my now husband and moved out of my parents house and gotten a better job and I guess she couldn’t handle me not being a sad sack who only had her in my life. We haven’t talked in almost 6 years except for a message from me when her father passed. She wasn’t at my wedding. She won’t meet my children when that time comes. We are Facebook friends but nothing more now. It still hurts but at this point I’ve learned to only put the effort into people who also put in effort to you.

[@get6149]

Forgiveness is never deserved it's just something you have to decide to do

[@daricej9753]

Why lie about the reason for divorce? Doing that only gives them a pass.

[@ketrava0425]

The big comment for me that I related to was him just needing to try harder. Just a little bit harder every day for her to love him. And let me tell you my ex who is cheating on me. Use this tactic on purpose because it made me constantly. Try to fix everything and give her anything she wanted. Because obviously I was what was wrong period until I busted her cheating. It never even occurred to me that I was the only one working to make the relationship Function

[@myhubbyislouisvuitton4218]

The pregnant girlfriend sounds like she baby trapped boyfriend.

[@princesssunshine874]

You should get a massage table. I'm a massage therapist and so is my bf. We do exchanges. It's actually really good for your health to give massages. However, she is not reciprocating. She seems like an egomaniac..

[@scotmartin4460]

Hear ya! I am blind, but I have SKILLS! I just need someone to give me a chance. It's only been three years, but I remember Everything! EVERY interview I go to in person, I am turned away. Multiple excuses. Aggressively ignorant based SOLELY on appearance. Probably something to do with my age, despite having the full history and qualifications in the resume.

[@kimberlycarrigan8824]

My mom is a kind person. Haha! No. She has never been a kind person. You already know that. Why lie now?

[@judymetzger3253]

I'm a woman and I had to roll my eyes so far the back of my head I think I reached the wall. Listen to the father say you're supposed to do everything to make the wife happy blah blah really so basically what you're saying is you have to be a doormat and let your wife walk all over you. I would have said to him I appreciate that you have no self-esteem yourself worth but unfortunately for your daughter I do. And when he gave you that b******* about suing for the house I would have told him your daughter lied to you. Number two knock your socks off but when you lose you'll be paying for my lawyer too. God bless good luck hopefully you find the person you deserve.

[@WhatHowWhenforWhomWhatpurpose]

Every time a man has passionate hugging with a woman - no matter what protection is used - he says yes to be a dad. Full stop.

[@NoxArcani-z4u]

Men should have the right to financially abort a child

[@WhatHowWhenforWhomWhatpurpose]

@@NoxArcani-z4u No. If no child is wanted- don't have sex with a woman. Or snipp swimmer tubes. Super simple. Actions have consequences. Is it worth the risk? It's up to you to choose. Simple as that. Only one 100% safe action if pregnancy is not wanted.

[@julianahendrix6005]

you could give her a monetary gift and don't rush the experience.

[@peculiarpixils8777]

The bf dragging her story hits close to home, as an ex tried to do something similar and never gave me good reasoning for it when he put one of his mom’s crushed up sleeping pills in my drink.

[@HazelJuanitaMillanHoffman]

You need to contact your Grandparents and CPS to get help for your Sister

[@brendabernal2122]

I honestly wanted my daughter to be gay.. I hated the thought of her, being with someone who treated her bad. Not that a woman couldn’t do it, however I didn’t want my baby girl with any man!! She’s almost 30, and she gave me the most beautiful little chocolaty grand baby(boy) Jhase Alexander he’s 3 years old.. ❤️

[@andybreglia9431]

While I'm not deaf, I did sustain some hearing damage in the Army and have hearing aids. This happened when I was in college. This class had a number of deaf people and a signer. The teacher noted that none of the deaf students were taking notes and was complaining about this. I jumped into this fray. "Ms. Teacher, I take pretty good notes. Occasionally, I looked down to write and continue hearing the lecture. They have to continue looking at the signer. If they look down to write, they miss what the signer is saying (okay, figure of speech). I said I'd be more than happy to Xerox my notes for them. I was also someone who could tutor in a subject I was currently taking. Okay, I cheated by reading several textbook chapters ahead of the teachers, also knew what questions to ask in class to make the material more understandable. I tutored some of these students and knew what their weaknesses were and asked appropriate questions.

[@benjaminhurley6460]

I call bs on the story about the niece. The update was too perfect. I think the op came to reddit looking for validation and got called out for not following the advice. I also think he made up that last update to get people off his back.

[@Touriquette]

I've heard stranger stories, and smaller things be unnecessary lies. Its not a 'and everyone clapped' story, so take it as you will. People get tunnel vision in the heat of the moment, I don't blame people for trying and failing. Best not to punish people for merely want something different I think.

[@chunkychick5193]

The guy that wanted a divorce...his wife was probably cheating on him.

[@mindylafler3456]

Ummm, breaking up because you have busy lives. Marriage makes you busy, too. How would you deal with the distance that comes from having children, and wife spending the time bonding with the new baby? Plus, your schoolboy ideals are just that...ideals. no one can have that same sensation for their entire lives. I have been married 33 years, together 34. We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren. I like where we are now, but it was lots of work conceding to each other when we might not have wanted to. Yes, you give, and you take. You have to deal with the fact that you will not always be able to dedicate yourselves to one another in your free time. As you grow, your interests and hobbies will change. You both have to deal with these constant changes. Your feelings will wax and wane. There may even be times you feel like someone else might be a better fit at that moment. But, the only way to last is to be willing to slog through it.

[@myrabeth77]

I know this is an old comment, but I think it's worth noting that you said "marriage makes you busy" and proceeded to talk about childrearing. You do understand that those are not the same thing, right? Marriage is a change in legal status. It doesn't make you busy. Children make you busy, yes. But that's not the same thing.

[@mindylafler3456]

@@myrabeth77 you cook. You clean. You find things to do together. After my children grew up and left, I didn't continue with my busy with kids life. I knew my husband needed contact with family, and since I was the one still here, I had to fill that role. It's difficult forcing yourself out of a 25 year bubble of the children being affectionate with your husband, and then you making yourself more affectionate than you had been. Now that I have my grandchildren in my home I have to pull back again and let them get the affection.

[@myrabeth77]

@@mindylafler3456 I still don't get what you're saying. I've been with my partner for two decades. We've been recently motivated to make it legal. How is that piece of paper and a half hour at the county clerk's office going to make us busier?

[@mindylafler3456]

@@myrabeth77 I think I will need to rewatch this video to really see where the conversation is going. The legal document doesn't make you busier.

[@myrabeth77]

@@mindylafler3456 That's exactly what I'm saying. I was disagreeing with your statement that "marriage makes you busy." That's simply not true. You supported that statement with comments about child-rearing, which is not even remotely the same thing as marriage. Just because the two are linked for some folks does not make them the same thing.

[@stephjovi]

The last story srojnds like 50s values turned around. They gotta make each other happy not just him catering to all her needs

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Of course she made her guilty behavior totally ok if she can go full on racist as an excuse. Because of course her behavior is reasonable in her mind.

[@manunuod_ako1766]

Re: outed by ex Life as he knew it was over/dead/destroyed yes. BUT, the good news is, he can rebuild one the way he liked it this time with the support of the family that he chosen and chosen him too.

[@anneofcleveswithinternet]

Of course op is a genius lol

[@DivineRenegadeDeanna]

We do not choose our parents, l nor the lives they bear us into and force upon us. We do not choose the culture they force upon us, the religion they force upon us, the education they force upon us, the abuse and neglect they force upon us, we do not choose nor consent to any of that and we have zero obligation to agree with our parents, to like our parents, to love our parents, to honor our parents, to keep their name, to pass on their genes, to ever speak to them again the moment they force us out of their way and demand we earn our own right to life, to which we also did not consent nor choose. We bear zero obligation to them...They bear ABSOLUTE TOTAL 100% obligation to their offspring from the moment they forced them into this life until their own ends, that's the choice they made when choosing to create life without its own consent. This oppression must end.

[@-Suie-]

the couple having unexpected pregnancy, takes to two get pregnant, im sure he enjoyed the sex why are people thinking abortion is easy? several abortions can make a woman infertil

[@stephjovi]

So did you they defeat the mother plant in strangeville? We need to know the real updates 😂

[@katwiltz1134]

To the person who said that first-time fathers can't be shocked and act like assholes. You are so wrong she's not disregarding his reality you are disregarding reality. I have seen more fathers did not in the Young act like an ass when they had a child either in high school or college. More than not. It is a real thing then they catch their head after the baby's born and they act different. Quit trying to cut families off. Annoying voice to her is to be not interested in what he has to say it wouldn't piss me off nothing would make me anxious I would just get along with getting along. If he's going to change his mind it'll be after he sees the baby. So leave him alone for right now. Don't try and change his mind. The only thing you can do is walk away from him right now get your own s*** together he will or he won't but it won't be right now he can't even hear how you feel you have to murder your baby get on with your life and when he comes crawling back cuz he will even if it's just to get you to not suing for child support. Focus on you you beautiful lovely woman. Edit. Yay yeah I don't know it's like something visceral happens to men, that fight-or-flight maybe it's some directive it says okay and noctis went up now and it's time for me to spread my seed I don't know but me and act like asses and they sometimes cheat and do weird things that they would never do when women are pregnant it's from the feeling of being forced I think however sometimes when they hear that it and it's scary AF in my experience most men do come around and besides this is the young you know high school and college from what I've seen growing up

[@alannahW666]

Op in story 1 is acting like their her mother

[@pansprayers]

Someone has to be the parent. Sucks it's fallen to a 17 year old.

[@alannahW666]

@@pansprayers op isn't constantly around the child, who is another child to think they know it all about the girl, she's special needs.

[@Npyne]

@@alannahW666 OP already said they spend more time with her than both parents do. The parents haven't bothered getting her assessed, so don't act like they're good judges of what a special needs kid is. Oh she wanders off and can't sit still for hours even though she can't hear what's going on? She's 6. If that's the criterion for needing special ed, then 99% of the world's children need it. If the parent's wanted what was best for her, they would have looked into other options, not just chucked her at the first thing they thought would fit. OP at least took the time to look into other options.

[@alannahW666]

@@Npyne yet this child who thinks she knows it all thinks she's the mother?, nah that's a fast way to get kicked out fir being an ungrateful brat

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

@@Npyne True it'd be the same for anyone of any age. You put someone who can't hear or understand the language being spoken in front of a play or movie and see how quickly they are to sit still. That might be a way to get the parents to understand. Put on a foreign film without subtitles.make then sit there. When they complain ask them why they didn't want to stay. When they say they don't understand either be petty and say they must have behavior issues like Anna then. Or go the non petty way and tell them that this is no different from the way Anna feels when you take her with you to operas or concerts where she can't hear what's going on. It's no different than you trying to watch a movie you can't understand. You want her to sit and watch something she can't hear. The parents don't care about Anna. Their upset that she's deaf and can't enjoy their trade. So they have no need for her. That's a possible reason they dumped her into the first school that would take her. Nevermind if it was the right for her.

[@FallenAnaki]

Give the whales guns. Genius.

[@LS-bb9qh]

When it comes down to it the baby is his. If he is finacially able he should contribute. It shouldnt be up to tax payers to support single mothers. Accidents happen... Too bad. Forcing her to get an abortion is wrong, just as forcing pregnancy is. I never understood if you knew you had a kid, why you would not want to support it. Like i get not having a relationship, but thats your legacy, blood. You dont care?

[@PowerStruggle555]

for most of my childhood. I went to special needs schools (not autistic...have a form of CP and high functioning) . only time I didnt was I think 2nd grade (where it was decided to see if I can handle a normal school and my junior and senior year of high school which was because...I was more then capable of going there. which I did graduate on time after taking mostly normal classes). but the schools I went to were tailored for kids with all sorts of disabilities. high fuctioning (like myself), low fuctioning, kids in between and even deaf kids (rode a bus with a deaf kid.) so deaf kids going to special needs schools...to me at least isnt horrible depending on the school. they would be assigned an aide to sign back and forth. Im not op. I dont know anything about the special needs school outside what OP said

[@lorifiedler13]

Find online deaf bloggers or chats. Zoom is your friend.

[@sweetluvgurl]

I’m going to be honest. I know people argue that you shouldn’t “make excuses” for stuff, but I also don’t see how it’s so disrespectful to show where your head space was at to maybe come to some type of understanding. It doesn’t mean you aren’t trying to understand the other person, but shouldn’t both people be understood? That’s just my two cents. Also, it sounds like the niece got offended and tried to flip it into being completely about race when it was more about the behavior of her mom when showing up.

[@manunuod_ako1766]

Re long lost niece This kind of reunions are fraught with land minesboc emotions stemming from differing perspective and experiences even with good intentions. Ideally, it should be done with a non partisan mediator to navigate those land mines to lessen the blow. Even then some off color words matbe misinterpreted by the best linguist in the world.

[@Syke-vv4tj]

I've been dancing since I was 12. And I will see about having your sister. Look into cochlear implants. She will always be deaf but you can atleast give the option to hear.

[@Syke-vv4tj]

Deaf^

[@naptime1900]

She has a big problem. You look at the person as a person who lives and breathes just like she does. Look for common areas a good laugh,likes too read like she does etc.

[@judymetzger3253]

Al should not be your next girlfriend. Separate get some time to yourself you jump into a relationship with Elle it's going to bite you in the butt hard

[@2muchzen]

Op @ 1 hour is really stupid!

[@cchastant8251]

1:31:55 Ex-BF of 12 Years This story both sucks, and rings a bell for me. Only it wasn't 12 years' worth of investment on my part, but only a few years. Had a supervisor at work that I really clicked with. I easily slid into work-friendships, because I'm so not into causing drama at work. We had more than two years of this sort of friendship, then right before she transferred to another store, she turned cold on me. After a few nights of this, as we worked overnight shifts, I tried asking her on FB about WTF? Blocked. This was a shock. I've never been blocked by anyone else on FB. Probably because I only add family or people I know IRL. I'd only added her to let her know if something was coming up and I wouldn't be in for work, because the managers would never bother telling mere supervisors that they would be down a person. Did my best to combat that after finding out by first asking for a supervisor, THEN having them connect me to a manager to call out. Didn't work so well when I didn't have a voice to work with, hence adding her to FB. About a year after she blocked me, she tried adding me again. I accepted only to gain closure. She told me that some of the others on our shift told her that I was bad-mouthing HER behind her back. Peed me off. "I hardly spoke to any of the others away from mutual conversations you were there for. You couldn't even ask me to my face about it?! Give me a chance to tell my side? Just shut me off? No thanks, I don't need "friends" who can't at least give me a chance before cutting me off." This time I blocked her. We never spent time together outside of work, and we only occasionally commented on each other's posts before she'd blocked me. It still stings that someone I thought of as a friend wasn't willing to give me a chance to defend myself before condemning me. Not nearly as bad as someone losing a friendship of 12 years. My longest-standing friendship died over the decades because I moved away, and she has a thing about calling others, or even returning calls. Her birthday is a week before mine. One year I thought, "Hey, I'll let her be the first to call." And she didn't. I'd been sending/bringing her birthday gifts every year up to that point, even though she hadn't even been sending me cards. When she didn't even call... I decided that she probably wasn't all that interested in continuing our friendship, because we don't spend time together IRL anymore. Because of living hundreds or thousands of miles apart. Only hundreds for the past decade, but that doesn't really matter, I guess.

[@vetaroberts3333]

Child support Nta

[@carlrood4457]

When I saw the woman in the massage story was 3 years older, I knew the issue. Older women/younger men, particularly in late 20's, early 30's tend to have a large power imbalance due to the maturity differences between men and women at that age. That's a time when women start looking to settle and find weak men.

[@jennhernandz3912]

I get why you want people to tell you that you’re right on this one but your mom is you need to at least put the option out there to your niece to invite her to your cousins wedding but at the same time you need to tell her hey it’s OK to say no we understand that it might be too much but we would like to extend the option to you that simple you’re very wrong your mother knows that she needs to feel like she’s a part of this family or it could hurt her you’re doing great everywhere else but let your mom take the lead somewhere to remember it’s her granddaughter

[@caroleshay7147]

Why are all the ads 10 minutes long? There's truly no need for them to be that long and all it does is makes me way less interested in the product.

[@shriyasingh3789]

"by 'I cannot pronounce that name'." - dafuq Why can't you pronounce that name?! Make some effort yo. smh

[@JadeAkelaONeal]

#ArmTheWhales

[@cynthiathompson6427]

I have a friend who kept getting pregnant and kept having abortions all with the same guy. Some of those people who use abortion as birth control it was disgusting Well they broke up and he gets with another girl and she gets pregnant she refused to get an abortion and he married her and they had a family. Had the first girl refused she would’ve been married with the family

[@babyfaceweeb8937]

Bullshit

[@ramonah66]

I know it’s wrong but I hate that most people don’t know what Christianity is. I keep trying to let the hate go but I can’t seem to. Maybe I shouldn’t listen to these stories

[@finagledpixel5688]

A 17 year old definitely would not get the full story. The parents might have gotten doctor, experts, or teachers involved in the decision that the sibling is not going to be told about. It is really none of their business unless the sister is not doing well in the new school. They are not the one at doctor appointments or child teacher conferences.

[@mrdankie3953]

The first story: Dude seems sweet snd caring about his sister but siblings don't always see the things each other do. She maybe a sweetheart and never uncomfortable around you and completely different with your parents. You might not even know everything medical they have going on. Plus at the end of the day you're siblings not parent and child.