my pregnant wife ruined us 😭 r/AITA

[@matthewmaccabe4171]

I am convinced the people in the comments from the first post didn't read the post, quite frankly i think the only drama are the commenters on reddit

[@VDeku]

This 💯

[@bethwoodward9437]

The only thing I can figure is that the OP went back and edited the post after many of the responses came in. But AITA also gets into this weird groupthink sometimes that can be pretty off the wall.

[@victoriafelix5932]

@@bethwoodward9437 And so many of the comments are made in bad faith, also, leading me to often desire a very long, cool glass of something, anything, stronger than lemonade....

[@user-ox5nh8kx1l]

100% agree. The birthday girl was not acting like an adult. That's the kind of behavior I would expect for someone's 6th birthday, not 28 or 29.

[@s.a.4358]

@@user-ox5nh8kx1l unfortunately a lot of adults still act like small children when it comes to their birthdays.

[@cylus8596]

Man the comments on that first post were wild. You can explain everything in a clear and concise way and still have people ignoring all the details.

[@thumbsarehandy.]

Agreed. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't be upset at all. They can spend most of the day together AND the OP was even willing to plan a day full of activities for her! Those commenters are ridiculous.

[@AstronomicalJelly]

me when im in a bad reading comprehension competition and my opponent is redditors

[@GamerSisters]

​@@AstronomicalJelly the way I cackled

[@The_Mind_Electric_number_1_fan]

I agree their points don't even make sense when you read the orginal post! The concert beinf at 7 is pretty late in the evening, he's clearly talked to her about it and invited her, etc.

[@flotenstimme4608]

Yes I also do not get their problem. Like last year the sister of my brothers wife had special birthtday, and invited me the day of my birthtday, I still went to her Party cause her s birthtday was with a 0 whereas mine was just with a 6. I just had a small Party another day... Birthday zilla should be a word....

[@starparodier91]

I was raised Catholic, and if I ever had boyfriend tell my dad I wasn’t a virgin he’d probably say, “why the eff would I want to know, you little pervert” followed by angry Slovak noises. 😂

[@CrystalSki67]

😂😂😂

[@tkrause1116]

Now I am curious as to what angry Slovak noises sound like...... :)

[@kamisakura568]

Not too bad for a band name, "Angry Slovak Noises" Thrash metal I'm thinking.

[@AutisticTea]

Even if pregnancy hormones made you blow up in the moment, not immediately choosing to apologise once you've had a chance to calm down is not good. Like, she had the whole rest of the day, and the next day, to apologise, say it was a pregnancy thing and how its not normally her etc etc. But she didn't. I don't blame people for blowing up in the moment, but i do judge them on how they act after. She chose not to apologise. If i were G, i would think the apologies were totally fake because they only came AFTER he gave them consequences. I mean, he's been SO good to them, and the wife SCREAMED at him and refused to apologise or explain until AFTER he'd put his foot down. He's been so kind with nothing back (beside less than market value rent), and he was SO happy they were going to have a baby. He's already extended them so much grace, he doesn't owe them anymore after being mistreated AND having to be the one to reach out and resolve it. The wife is 100% the AH, because she didn't apologise and refuses to take responsibility.

[@whatismylife8100]

Totally agree

[@s.a.4358]

I completely agree. The wife is all remorseful now that there are consequences, but if she was actually sorry she would have apologised much sooner. I also don’t like that she is not communicating with her husband, OP, about why she said those things and what happened.

[@PanRiddle1]

If you watch The Click's videos, he also says that. If an apology is only given AFTER consequences have been communicated or enforced, it isn't a genuine apology, but instead it often is a 'oh shoot I need a get-out-of-jail-card' and that is not okay.

[@bunn228]

In fact she tried to make her husband go on behalf of her which is an added layer of disrespect.

[@celticphoenix2579]

Make the gender of the screaming person male and this could have been my tenant, who screamed at me for asking him to help me catch him up on cleaning up his dog mess. He hasn't registered that he is being subsidized by us to the tune of almost 6k every month. So now he gets to try and figure out how to house a dog on a tight budget (most places that allow pets are well out of his budget). People really need to learn to mind their Ps and Qs when people are accommodating them

[@RenGin510]

As an introvert, finding out I would get the entire night by myself on my birthday where I can eat ice cream, watch animal documentaries while playing video games alone? Best gift ever! lol

[@jessicaholscher4097]

18:24 I have a feeling more is going on in G's head. G was very generous...after losing his daughter and future SIL. I think G also realized in that moment, he was pretending that he was helping his daughter and SIL. There's no fixing this. G reinforced his new boundaries, and given the trauma surrounding it all, I'm not sure he'll be comfortable adjusting those boundaries for this couple again. If they really want to show him they appreciate him, the best option is probably to stay and pay the expensive amount, continue to be appreciative, be good tennents. Right now, he went from thinking this couple was very special to him and him to them to thinking "oh, no, they just see me as a old naive fool to take advantage of."

[@maggpiprime954]

This. I think you got it all spot on.

[@mellsc9412]

Came here to say the same thing

[@artheenbyrogue804]

The comments on the first one are weird. I agree with you Shaaba, especially since it's a concert, you can't reschedule that, and OP IS spending almost the entire day with her until he goes with his brother. He also tried to find solutions and invited wife to the concert. I don't really know what else he could do. Also, it's hard to get tickets for concerts!! It's a rare opportunity, especially for the brother if this artist is super big. I think the commenters lack reading comprehension at this point because wtf did they read 😭.

[@brunahamabata1]

Couldn't agree more. I'm baffled by these replies.

[@Shoulderpads-mcgee]

Truly piss on the poor type reading comprehension

[@ViktorErikFade]

Yes this !!! I was baffled at the comments missing the part where he communicated and told her ahead of time and technically agreed to celebrate her 1 and a half or technically 2 days , which is more than enough for a birthday. It was odd to me she was perfectly fine with all her friends celebrating a day early but when op/husband tried to plan out this thing for celebrating her extra so he could also celenratehis brothers bday that's in the same month as well it's suddenly a issue. I hope OP didn't take the comments to heart

[@DryPaperHammerBro]

They read a different post to what Shaabs read

[@celticphoenix2579]

I had almost identical thoughts. OP is not the AH for trying to show love to two people who are very important to him. His wife is acting very entitled by demanding that she be his entire universe on her birthday week. She's almost 30 for heavens sake. It's not the end of the world to miss three or four hours of his time on her birthday. On her death bed she isn't even going to remember this, so why make such a big fuss about a couple of hours?

[@sdfghjasdfghjk8175]

First story I think shows the general age of reddit responders. Many people get less attached to birthdays after a certain age, like 21. There's nothing wrong with celebrating and wanting your loved ones to celebrate, but being so upset when your husband is not only giving you a full party but spending your whole birth day with you until he takes his brother to the concert... that's just greed and insecurity. Your partner is allowed to love more than just you and he's still making sure you are celebrated for your birthday. NTA

[@artheenbyrogue804]

@@sdfghjasdfghjk8175 I mean I'm 17, and I still think OP is NTA. I genuinely think they just either a) didn't read the post b) read the post and are severely lacking in reading comprehension skills or c) OP updated later, but that still doesn't explain that those were the top comments, because then they should have changed their verdict. Either way that was a weird side of AITA reddit, and I'm super confused at the replies.

[@skylerricketts7392]

I for sure like to have the whole day, but that’s because my sister and I were born on the same day and had to share everything so in this case I would do the same thing i did then which is to pick a different day and celebrate then

[@whatismylife8100]

I disagree here I think it depends on the person

[@stellaw3682]

I wish i could agree, but my boyfriends mother stopped talking to me over me celebrating my boyfriends birthday with my family a week after his birthday, because she wanted him to celebrate with his (horrible) sister who didn‘t even talk to him to make plans or to confirm a date, since he was celebrating with his(our) friends on the day. We did propose the day after or the weekend after the celebration with my family (who probably love my boyfriend more than me lol). Even splitting the day and him spending dinner with them on that day. She wouldn‘t compromise in any way. She said she and the sister are his „only family“ and have a right to it. I hardly think the sister even cares about him or the birthday. Mind you, she celebrated her birthday without inviting either of us. This situation left my boyfriend very sad and i also think it was all really dumb since it was his fucking birthday. But somehow a 50 year old woman has been a bitch about it for 9 months already.

[@lyricrose8519]

@@artheenbyrogue804I'm also 17 and wow the redditors on that post seem immature. I could never imagine been that uptight about my birthday ESPECIALLY when I was getting a party beforehand.

[@amanday3103]

TOTALLY disagree that G is being even a little bit of an asshole. He has been beyond kind and generous, and she just went and spit in his face. Yes, hormones are a thing, but they’re not an excuse. My dad treated me horribly as a kid and it was probably in part due to his mental illness, but that’s still fucked me up. No one has any obligation to go above and beyond for someone who won’t even show them basic respect. I think the fact that he’s still giving them the $1600 rate until the lease is up is beyond kind.

[@GraupeLie]

I couldn't agree more!

[@Kimshu6]

Not only that but Shaaba keeps sayjng "It was just a moment." It was THREE WHOLE MINUTES OF HER BERATING HIM. That's about as far from "a moment of anger" or the hormones excuse as you can get!

[@coraeaston4813]

@@Kimshu6 I literally went to comments while she was saying 'it was just a moment' and I was getting increasingly frustrated. I usually appreciate Shaaba's attempts to see all sides, but it really felt like she was ignoring the 3 minutes part. Take your phone and time 3 minutes... that's a long to time to be berated. Now, there might be some inaccuracy in that time, since I doubt OP actually timed it, but I don't think it would be that inaccurate. Especially when we see G's response. If it was just the quotes OP shared, it would maybe be 10/15 horrid seconds, and maybe G would have accepted "it's hormones." But as other comments have said, when a 'moment of anger' goes on for longer than a minute, then it wasn't a moment. Especially (also as other comments have been saying), she ONLY started apologizing after G told them that they'd need to pay the regular (still discounted) price for the rest of their lease.

[@violet7773]

Him charging them 1600 until the lease is up isn't "kind". Their lease says 1600 on it. He cannot charge them more than that until they sign a new lease (for which he has said he will be charging market rate) and probably cannot legally evict them because "my tenant yelled at me" Like, G is fully justified to raise the rent and end their personal relationship, but following a legal contract isn't a kindness

[@barbtalbott8911]

G was treating them as family until she made clear she didn't feel the same way.

[@BrigitteDiessl]

As someone who has been pregnant twice and really struggled through both of them, it really bothers me that people get away with bad behaviour because their "hormones are raging." The wife knew they had a good thing for six years. You don't completely lose your mind when you are pregnant. The fact that she works part time pre baby is a privilege. Most people I know (my kids are now 27 and 20) worked full time up until they gave birth. I am a teacher so I finished work at the end of the term before I had my daughter because it would be mad to have three weeks holiday and then go back for three weeks and it is easier to fill a position that begins at the start of term. She was able to work part time because G was so good to them.

[@s.a.4358]

I agree fully. I also do not like that the wife wasn’t communicating with OP about what happened, why she said what she said, etc. It sounds like even a few days after there still hasn’t been a good and proper discussion about what happened and why the wife behaved that way. We say it is pregnancy hormones, but is that actually the wife’s explanation? Is she suffering extreme stress or anxiety at the idea of becoming a mom? Is she depressed? Bipolar? Mental health and hormonal changes are real, however if it is making someone behave this irresponsibly, jeopardising a living situation, maybe professional help is needed. The wife REALLY need to start talking to OP about what happened.

[@BrigitteDiessl]

@@s.a.4358 Thank you. With two grown kids who have both struggled with various mental health issues and anxiety and c-PTSD due to the sudden death of their Dad when they were young, I have never let them get away with bad behaviour. Both of them know the difference between right and wrong. Both of them are able to talk and express themselves. As a family, we try not to start yelling at each other because nobody feels good about themselves or about hurting each other because of a loss of control. We are all great believers in putting ourselves in time out to breathe and calm down before embarking on serious conversations.

[@RomySews]

Yeah I can’t imagine pregnancy making someone completely blow up and go on a lengthy rant in someone’s face for that long. Ok it might have made her snippy or short with him, but to rant for that long in his face when it was clearly hurtful? Nope. It’s clearly a frustration that’s been building with her but she should’ve ranted in private after G left, and recognised that her outburst would have big consequences. If she has to go full time, well sucks for her but she made her bed and now she has to lie in it.

[@tilltab]

Whaaaaaaaaat were those comments on the first one! He’s being plenty considerate of his wife! And being a really thoughtful brother to boot! Double brownie points to that guy!

[@RachelKay528]

I feel so bad for G. We need more good/empathetic landlords in the world, and this incident probably made him not want to get personally close to any tenants going forward 😔

[@AltAccount-cb7sh]

I hope they can repair the relationship in some way moving forward and apologize so G is left with closure and feels less hurt because he's such a kind soul and I'd hate for him to not be able to extend kindness in the future

[@RachelKay528]

@AltAccount-cb7sh I hope so too 😔🤞

[@yassine8935]

I don't believe there is quite such hing as a "good" landlord at he end of the day your making money off something we as humans need to survive and you have way more power in he relationship at anymoment if he wanted to evict them he could or like he did raise it to "market value" .

[@RachelKay528]

@yassine8935 true, but also, we unfortunately live in a capitalist world right now and someone is going to own the place you live in (unless you're lucky enough to afford to own a home yourself). And I'd much rather have a kind person like G, than a shitty person or a giant corporation. Also the only reason he said he'd raise it to market value was because she blew up at him and made his kindness feel unappreciated. And even then, he's not immediately raising it to market value which gives them time to find somewhere else. I think he's done plenty to prove he's a generous and good person.

[@Artechiza]

​​@@RachelKay528Yeah, while definitely this isn't an ideal situation and the housing problem should be solved with a social perspective cause it is a human right, in these situations we shouldn't forget that landlords are people too, you know? People with feelings and, in this system, ownership of what they have 🤷🏻‍♀️ The disrespect was so uncalled for and it's only fair that it has consequences, which in this case are even compassionate. I hate it when people are done favours out of pure kindness and then they are taken as obligations. They're simply not smh

[@haas3ca]

I think OP #2 could use marriage counseling. His wife's mess up has created so many negative feelings and I've heard that some marriages have deteriorated from the stress of a newborn. I'm worried about them and the longevity of their marriage. I hope they can figure out a way to get past this

[@VDeku]

They cannot afford it, but if they don’t get it I see a divorce in the future. That’s going to be a shit ton of resentment in that house plus the stress of a new child? Yeah there’s a huge chance they don’t stay together long after that

[@RomySews]

I think it would be really hard to get over if a partner of mine did this. Not just for the money implications but finding out my partner could be so nasty and hurtful to someone who’s (as far as we know) only ever been kind and generous. That would really change how I’d see a person and it’d take a lot to move past that for me

[@VDeku]

@ same

[@emmamarshall3777]

The one with G, they hadn't seen him for 6 months because he wasn't well. There was no relationship on their part, poor man was doing yet another nice thing for them despite how life was going for him and the wife shouted at him. Gross

[@ErisIsAnAbomination]

The second story is EXACTLY WHY you shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you. It’s wild to me how the wife made a cruel decision that directly caused the family to be thrown back into financial struggle, and she can’t even apologize for her own actions and wants her husband to do the dirty work for her. Something tells me she isn’t actually sorry for what she did, she just doesn’t want to suffer the consequences.

[@Keebles8]

My heart is so sad for G. What a kind man! Whatever caused the wife to blow up at him, hormones or otherwise, he deserves a genuine apology from her. Obviously they need to give him some time and not harass him, but an apology is still required. If it were me, I would hand write him a letter, with my apology, the reason for my actions (not excuses, but he deserves an explanation), a promise of how I will treat him going forward, and acceptance of his kindness for not immediately raising the rent to the market price, and a huge thank you for all of his kindnesses through the years. Honestly, I think that is the only way forward. He might forgive the couple, but he has every right to stand by his decision.

[@celtanewby2822]

Oh my goodness, that second one was absolutely wild, and I've ended up going down a complete rabbit hole trying to learn more about the impact of pregnancy hormones on mood (for the record, I've been pregnant myself and didn't personally notice any effect on my mood at all - I felt entirely like my normal self throughout the whole thing, so I’ve ended up getting curious about to what extent this is the norm). I’m a little uncomfortable with the idea that pregnancy hormones in isolation would be the only factor in this kind of behaviour - giving grace and being understanding is really important, but I don’t think this level of mood disturbance is a typical part of being pregnant or that pregnancy hormones alone would excuse her behaviour towards G, particularly the lack of shame or apologising afterwards, and I’d worry that trying to attribute this kind of thing to pregnancy hormones alone might feed into the bigoted ideas some people have about women being irrational creatures that are entirely at the mercy of their own bodies, in the same way that iffy ideas about PMS might. (Apologies, I’m not saying that anyone here is actually arguing this.) I was initially thinking along similar lines to Shaaba about whether something bad had happened that the husband didn’t know about, or about whether the husband’s account as told is entirely true and complete, as at face value it just sounds baffling. I’d be really interested to hear from other people who have been pregnant or have been close to someone who has about the effect it had on their mood and whether ‘pregnancy hormone’ discourse is a thing that can sometimes put other people’s backs up a bit.

[@kj7067]

For story two: Oh my god. I don't think I would ever feel safe with my partner again if they did that - if they're capable of completely blowing up at a kind person trying to help, and don't even feel the need to apologise until it becomes clear that there are going to be dire consequences, who is to say they wouldn't do the same to me or my child? How can I trust that they would be working with me to look after our family after that? Hormones don't exempt you from basic human decency, and to me, this would be a sign that my partner was severely lacking in that department.

[@realfingertrouble]

It's the same deal if I'm dating or friends with someone who belittles waiters and staff in shops. I just don't want to be around people who regularly do that, or even do it once if it was bad enough. I didn't reconcile with one ex cos he did that in a shop, then shortly after dumped me (by text!) then tried to get back together. Nope, too many anger red flags.

[@agnik1031]

Honestly, I think with G it was less about the blowout itself and more about how it cast his prior relationship with these tenants in a questionable light. I’ve had people being sweet to my face for years before I found out they hated me this whole time. Landlord or no, that’s how I would take this situation and it would hurt, especially since the wife wasn’t forthcoming with an apology.

[@elyzabeth5671]

For the landlord story. I also can not imagine continuing to live with a person who can ruin our common livelihood in matter of seconds for no reason at all. If I didn't get a proper explanation, I would ask for divorce. Yes, hormones can be crazy, but from her reaction, it doesn't seem that she understands the full gravity of what she did. This is not a mistake. Mistake is doing something by accident. She meant it. She did it with an intent to bully the landlord for not letting them live in his house for free. She considers it a mistake only because now she has to deal with the consequences. Also, the landlord is completely right and even gracious in his reaction. Just look at it from his point of view: after years of helping out your tenants, one of them blows up and calls you names because you didn't forgive the rent altogether. You know what he must be thinking? "So this is what they were actually thinking about me all these years? They are so ungrateful, two-faced and entitled, I can't believe I fell for that.". Why the hell would he continue to support them and literally loose money by renting out his place for way below market value? It's not like he said that he will raise the price above the market price for their new lease, just to get rid of them. He just terminated their informal relationship and wants them to be only transactional from now on.

[@elking8373]

100% nailed it on the head. I also think he may have been so kind throughout their relationship to grieve the loss of his family. The outrageous reaction on behalf of OP’s wife shattered the illusion that they were part of his family too - I think that’s why he was unrelenting. That man has suffered too much for me to consider him in the wrong.

[@VDeku]

Bro i would also ask for a divorce if the women couldn’t even say “I don’t know why I did that! It was just hormones!” Even if she was lying I’d take it. But the fact that she was literally screaming at him and being a genuinely horrible person in that moment makes those tears sound hella fake. She was trying to bully him into getting rid of the rent and honestly I have anger issues, I would’ve screamed over her, and started telling her to go calm down in a different room because G has been nothing but gracious and genuine and kind and is an amazing person who doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. (Adult time out lmfao) and profusely apologized and said it was probably just the hormones and that I would understand if G wanted us to pay the full 1600 hundred for the way she spoke to him and how ungrateful she was. Ahhhhhhh my heart goes out to G!!!! This poor kind old man.

[@toddashi]

@@VDeku The repeated tears when he tried to talk about it totally sounded like gaslighting to me. I would, at a minimum, want couples therapy to figure out if I could stay with a person who'd done that.

[@eonadoragon]

She also had time between her blowup and G coming over to apologize. But she only then started apologizing when G came to speak about the consequences

[@violet7773]

​​@@toddashi i think couple's therapy would do them good, but, unfortunately, because of op's wife's outburst, they definitely cannot afford it

[@katearcher8514]

I would be totally a G, but that trust is absolutely irreversible. Sorry, your privileges at my house are retracted.

[@cathleenc6943]

I also disagree that the wife deserves G's forgiveness. He gave her over a day to apologize. He had to ask for her to come into the room to listen to him. She could have apologized at any of those times. She showed in one fell swoop that she was not deserving of his extraordinary kindness. People don't suddenly go from nice, caring, humble, considerate, and grateful people into mean, greedy, and entitled people jist because of pregnancy hormones. Getting really mad because your dog chewed up your favorite flip-flops, crying because there aren't any grasshopper oreos at the store, or railing because you can't tie your own shoes are completely normal pregnancy hormone reactions. What she said had to have been things she'd actually already been thinking for her to say them. And he's likely been around the block enough times to be able to see the difference between a pregnancy hormonal upset and a person who'd previously been able to hold in their entitled, selfish, greedy, mean bs.

[@AltAccount-cb7sh]

I don't understand using hormones as an excuse for pregnant people or teens doing shitty stuff. Like you don't get to treat people like that no matter how hormonal you are. That's just wrong.

[@animeartist888]

This. I sometimes get pretty nasty mood swings around my time of the month, but I'm always aware that it's just that- hormones. I take a step back, isolate myself from the anger, duck into a separate room so the target of my ire isn't in front of me if possible, and take a moment to ask myself why I'm having such an extreme reaction. If the answer has ANY chance of being "idk, just hormones I guess", I hold the anger in, tell myself it's unwarranted, and wait until it fades to discuss it (if the situation even needs discussed, frequently it doesn't because I haven't blown up on anyone, and it wasn't rational for me to be that angry anyways). I don't care how hormonal you are, there is no excuse for that long and that extreme of a blow up, and definitely no excuse to not realize what you've done and apologize AT LEAST by the next day, if not within a few hours! That is insanity! I would hold so much resentment for this that I don't think I'd want to still be married to someone like that.

[@Ergosphere2357]

I really wasn't expecting to agree with Shaaba on the first post and then disagree with all the comments on the post.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

G is so like my dad. My parents decided to downsize once us kids moved out, and they had a bit of land so they built a new house on the other side of it. My dad charged the people who rented the old house 1/2 market rate because they had kids and mowed their lawn for them. Big corporate landlords suck. On the small level, it just depends.

[@Sarah.H5]

I'm glad Shaaba pointed out the codependency in the first story. OP has multiple important close relationships in his life that he wants to put time into; he's trying to come to a fair compromise about how they split the time. But the wife expects all of her husband's time and to be completely prioritised, and that's just shitty. I want my partner to have some sense of identity and other close people. I would be a bit disappointed if I'd hoped to spend the whole day with someone, maybe. But that doesn't make him the asshole.

[@LuisMauricioCasazza]

The landlord issue... they should be thankful he didn't kick them out. The disrespect! How are they not embarrassed!?

[@spenn.b8691]

The wife in the G story might’ve been crying for real but that was still so incredibly awful and uncalled for. Wtf

[@Roanmonster]

Yes, tbh I feel Shaaba is being too nice to the wife honestly. There is literally no reason to cuss at someone like that for being so nice.

[@yassine8935]

​@@RoanmonsterI don't think alot of the commenter understand hormone during a pregnancy they are very stronh and lead you to sayin and doing things that your non pregnant self would wholeheartedly disagree with.

[@kristinw2600]

@@yassine8935 But once they've settled down, could she not call or go see him to apologize and explain that the hormones made her act completely unlike how she truly feels, instead of just crying (real OR fake) any time her husband tries to bring it up and only trying to backtrack and apologize after the consequences come down?

[@k.c.8662]

​@@kristinw2600 exactly. Like if she is genuinely mentally incapacitated and incapable of having a rational conversation, that's one thing. That's wouldn't her "fault" and it may still have consequences but would be handled differently. I feel like it's in no way diminishing of how intense hormone changes can be to say that she should be able to have a conversation after things died down. And if she GENUINELY isn't able to come down from that state at all and all of these reactions from her are coming from real places of distress and not an inability to take responsibility for her actions, it may be time to talk to a doctor. There are perinatal mental health conditions that can cause a whole range of emotional and behavioral changes that go well beyond the expected behaviors due to hormonal changes.

[@whatismylife8100]

@@yassine8935 agree

[@jofawkes]

23:37 hormones are not an excuse, she could have apologized when she calmed down, Shaaba giving the wife too much grace. G owes them nothing, no forgiveness. He probably feels like he was taken advantage of all this time by being kind and friendly. It's awful. His reaction was not an overreaction, she had the chance to apologize and explain and they did not take that window.

[@s.a.4358]

I also do not think G over-reacted. I think his actions make perfect sense and are correct; rent stays as it is until the end of the contract and after that a new lease can be discussed of both parties agree (that is how contracts work), he is responsible for the house and will fix any problem issues but he is not their friend. I think G is behaving perfectly correct as a landlord. G used to behave as more of a family friend and father figure than landlord, but the wife and OP lost the privilege of that relationship when the wife became extremely rude and incorrect, and furthermore did not apologise after. If the wife had honestly apologised (before G came to the house the next day, or even as soon as he came in and before any other discussion) and G didn’t accept the apology, I’d say he was maybe a big petty - not wrong, as an apology doesn’t erase everything, but maybe a bit petty - however the wife did not try to correct her wrong until after there were consequences.

[@nyrkscouty3947]

In the first story they make it seem like marrying someones means abandoning everyone else. Yes a spouse birthday is important but you live with that person. It's the person you see the most, pratically every day of the year. Why celebrating someone else that is also family & that you see less should be a problem? (Unless you are completely disregarding them). Plus he's not asking not to celebrate her birthday on her day, he just wants the evening for his brother for an event that his don't come around every years. Also being in a relationship means making compromises, not everything can be perfect all the time. (something reddit often forgets) I've never been big on my own birthday, I honestly often forget it so it might just be me feeling that way. Sorry for my bad english, non native speaker that just woke up.

[@Sapphykins]

I completely agree, I hate the way people act like a romantic partner is supposed to be your whole world! Love for family is different than romantic love but that doesn't mean it's less important. Same with love for friends. I just feel sad for people who think that way, they're missing out on so much by only focussing on romance. Plus society pushing that idea makes it way easier for abusive people to isolate their victims!

[@emo-slime-mold]

I’m wondering if the first story is a situation where the OP wrote the post without enough context and got a bunch of YTA comments, then went back and added additional context afterward? That’s the only explanation I can think of for the Reddit comments on the first story.

[@MayaMickaMicak]

Or maybe Redditors just skimmed the story, not reading it thoroughly like Shaaba, so they missed some things?

[@blackbird797]

Nah I'm convinced people on the Internet, and Reddit especially, just straight up don't read. Like your explanation is very possible, but I'd still be surprised if most of them did more than skim it.

[@Lizzy-e8b]

​@MayaMickaMicak yeah or even only read the subject line?

[@CandySphynx]

I think G was right to put his foot down and stop being so generous with them. Someone who seems that kind doesn’t deserve such treatment and deserves to be respected. I’m glad he took measures to do so himself. But I wonder if the wife isn’t being an AH because of her relationship with her parents. The way OP wrote about having a better relationship with G than with either of their parents rings a bell to me.

[@bunji_beans]

I highly agree with you on the first story! At first I was iffy about how OP approached their wife about it but I think your reading of what they said is correct. The wife is essentially getting 2 celebrations but is mad about a few hours?? Giving "it's my birthday week/month!" vibes.

[@moiragores1226]

First story: I totally agree with you! No idea what's wrong with reddit. But as you say, he did everything and she is a grown woman at the age of 28years! Not everything is about you on that day anymore! You are not a little Kid anymore! Get over it! Second story: I was pregnant two times, and NO hormones do not justify her behaviour! I must say, if I had a partner who did that, I would seriously split up. And the landlord, I fully understand him. Some bridges burn fast and forever with one incident.

[@yassine8935]

I don't agree with you on your second one every person's experience is different while pregnant and as someone who's mother has bipolar disorder and was pregnant I've seen her hormones get to those levels of cussing people out that I know her non pregnant self wouldn't have done .

[@moiragores1226]

@@yassine8935 Of course everyone is different, I was just saying, that being pregnant does not excuse bad behaviour. Often being pregnant is used to just treat people like crap saying "oh well I'm pregnant, I may do that, it's the hormones" - but no, it's not an excuse to treat people badly. If somebody is diagnosed with bipolar or other psychological things, that obviously can and would impact things differently. But even then, the person cannot just "get away" with it. There will always be consequences to your actions, and you will have to face those consequences. And in this post specifically, if the woman would have had bipolar or something along the lines, OP would have mentioned it which he didn't. In this case she was just being an awful human being to a generous person, dragging her husband down with her. For me that is an inexcusable behaviour.

[@Shoulderpads-mcgee]

What are the commenters on in that first post??? You aren’t the center of the universe just because it’s your birthday or just bc you’re someone’s spouse??? OP is being extremely accommodating and thoughtful

[@gilesluver]

2nd one. Has the wife felt shame over all the help your landlord gave them? Is someone trashing the landlord to make him sound like he's pitying them? And they're benefiting from the pity, so unless someone is making her feel like she'll fail at being a mother by accepting all his charity, wtf? The only thing i can actually come up with is the landlord is a POC or some other minority, and the wife has an issue accepting help from someone she sees as "less than". Bite the hand that feeds you and... this.

[@tris5602]

The birthday thing is such a non-issue - I have no idea what people on reddit were on about. Maybe it's because my birthday is less than a month after Christmas, but I count myself happy so long as both my parents contact me on my birthday and my husband and I have plans for a celebratory dinner. Also, I love my in-laws (even though my brothers can make me a little crazy). I might be a little sad about my husband leaving me for the evening, but I'd still want him to go with his brothers. They don't get together very often and I like when they get to spend quality time. 100% NOT the drama.

[@LindCreations]

@@tris5602 Same, my birthday is literally in the week following New Year. Most of my family and friends were either still on holiday or going back to work on my actual birthday, so I got very used to celebrations being the weekend after so people can actually make it. A fun tradition my parents started on our actual birthdays was to wake the birthday child with singing, cup of tea/coffee followed by presents from the household members. Afterwards it was generally "back to reality" because the world doesn't revolve around you...

[@blackk_rose_]

With the landlord: you can't always go back to how things were. Even if she apologised, she said what she said and that's not easy to forget or forgive. In a potential conversation to clear things up, G would never know if she's being genuine or if she just plays nice again because she's scared she'll lose her home but secretly keeps resenting/hating him. I'd honestly walk away from them too if I was G. If you treat people with nothing but kindness and then get attacked like that after another act of kindness, it's probably the smartest option to just not continue the relationship. Not all relationships can or should be repaired. I don't agree that everyone deserves to be forgiven at all. It's always the person who was hurt who gets to choose if they want to or even can forgive someone or not. Plenty of people struggle with hormones and don't attack their landlord like that. Leaving a situation when you feel anger bubble up BEFORE you say something you cannot take back is almost always an option and certainly was here since the husband was with her and could've kept talking to the landlord.

[@KatjeKat86]

On a general note, forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the relationship goes back to the way it was before. It really means that you acknowledge that they are genuinely sorry and you are going to try to not hold any resentmen them in the future. Your relationship could be forever changed and never go back to the way it was before even with you forgiving them. I think that's a mistake we teach kids is that when you say you're sorry, you're supposed automatically be forgiven (not true) and then that everything needs to go back to the way it was before, again (not true) it can't. It can be rebuilt and repaired sometimes quickly depending on the severity of of the auction.

[@emrys7168]

Are birthdays considerably more important for adults in other places than they are in the UK? Because I'm with you, Shaaba, the comments on the first post are bananas! Sure, kids would find it difficult to not have their birthday on their birthday, but surely for adults, we learn that sometimes life messes up the timings, and we do our best to compromise. Is that not how it works across the pond?

[@ajs787]

With anything in the US culturally, things depends on where you are, though generally, I'd say it's overall similar to the UK. I don't think there's a cultural thing going on with this particular thing.

[@flotenstimme4608]

Germany here, quite common already for kids to celebrate one of the next saturdays so people have time.... Never met anyone who would have had such a big issue with the specific date.

[@throwbackpoet8598]

I am so with you on the first one. There are a lot of places in the US where having your favorite artist playing nearby happens about as often as getting struck by lightning. I feel like as an adult celebrating on the actual day is not a big deal unless there is a very specific event like this scheduled.

[@Tyler-x7u]

and in Australia your favourite artists comes here once every 10 years sometimes, you have to take the opportunity when you can

[@ErisIsAnAbomination]

I’ve only been to one concert, bought tickets for me and my online friend to meet irl… and I had to drive THREE HOURS to get to the venue. And it was in the same state I live in!

[@romystevens3876]

I am listening to this without watching the video, and I misheard birthday as “bath day” and I was really confused as to why we were just glossing over the fact that the wife has a dedicated bath day (totally aspirational I might add) and why she should feel entitled to her husband being there the whole day 😂

[@s.a.4358]

Maybe bath day is their cute little tradition where they do to one of those fancy public baths, get all scrubbed, exfoliated and have facials, etc. It can be a day out 😆

[@starparodier91]

My parents used to rent out our first house we lived in while our forever home was being built. This one man rented from them for over ten years and we became good friends with him and his family. I remember hearing my dad on the phone saying things like “that’s okay, just drop off the rent when you can” and I knew they never let him pay rent for the month of December since he was a single father and they wanted him to have that money for presents. He worked extremely hard and eventually opened up in auto shop and bought his own house, and as a thank you if we ever need any car work done he’ll give us a big discount. I’ve never rented from a landlord (only places that were run by landlord… companies?) and I’m always so shocked how terrible landlords can be since my parents set such a good example.

[@jennifergraham3752]

Your parents sound wonderful ❤

[@JenerationXY]

You can’t defend the pregnant wife. She acted like a flaming See You Next Tuesday and screwed everything up. G is completely justified.

[@whatismylife8100]

I agree that G is justified completely. And I agree that she was definitely wrong but I do think people don't realise how strong an effect pregnancy hormones can have. She was definitely in the wrong here but I disagree with people saying OP should leave her Edit: Since I've had to say it a lot in replies I want to emphasise. I Do Not agree with her. I am not saying hormones are excuses to act out. My issue was not with people calling her the AH it was with people dismissing hormones as crocodile tears and not understanding how overpowering and dreadful they can be. So if you are about to reply mentioning what she should have done this will not do anything, I agree that she was wrong I just don't agree with people brushing hormones off as crocodile tears. Read my comment before replying please 🙏

[@toddashi]

@@whatismylife8100 But it was after the blowup, where repeatedly, she would just "cry" instead of even talking about it, that's a big red flag for me. I agree with him calling them crocodile tears, sounds like she was gaslighting him.

[@Rikrobat]

@@whatismylife8100 - i can respect that pregnancy hormones do a number on a person. I cannot respect that person not apologizing afterwards or showing remorse until consequences came down the pike. She had the chance to contact G and apologize for her behaviour before he went “transactional mode.” Even if it wouldn’t change anything, showing she regrets her words “during a moment” would reflect that she understands what she did was terrible.

[@s.a.4358]

@@whatismylife8100 I don’t think OP should leave her just based on this one incident, but I don’t think pregnancy hormones are an excuse. The wife didn’t even communicate to OP about what happened and why she said what she said - it sounds like even a few days later there still hasn’t been a real conversation or explanation from her side - and she also could have apologised to G the next day or even first thing when he came to the house. I don’t think this is ground for OP leaving his pregnant wife, but in OP’s place I would want to have a serious discussion about what happened and not be okay to just let it go. Aside from the fact that she was extremely rude to someone, the wife’s actions have serious and potentially long term consequences for all of them, including the soon to be born child, and the wife doesn’t really seem to take responsibility or accountability for that. I think it will be hard for OP to get over what happened if there is no adequate discussion and “working out” of why the wife did what she did. Also, if pregnancy hormones or something else (depression, tiredness, fear of becoming a mom,… there can be different thing going on) are causing the wife to behave in such a brash and seemingly irrational way, which at the end of the day is also impacting her negatively, she may need some professional help. As a partner I’d want to understand what is going on and also not have to worry about something like that happening again.

[@whatismylife8100]

@@toddashi disagree with calling them crocodile tears but I agree that she should have tried to do something to apologise sooner. Remember we're also only hearing his side

[@cathleenc6943]

A lot of people are able to hide what they really think or who they really are until there is a stressfull event combined with not getting their way. Assuming that G has never done or said anything hurtful or harmful to the wife, I think that being pregnant lowered her inhibitions and she let out what she'd always thought, and that shows some of who she really is, judgemental, greedy, and hateful. No one in their right mind should ever expect to pay $0 for their property because that would mean the owner is taking a loss on the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep, and for her to even think that, and also the mean things she said, suggests to me that she is not at all a good person, she's just usually good at pretending to be a good person. OP is not only not the AH, he also should see this as the HUGE red flag that it is and keep a wary eye out for more. In any other circumstance, I'd think that someone saying another person was fake crying was sketch, but in this situation, I think he may have been spot on. If there was any legitimacy to her dislike of G, she should have told her husband by now. If her crying was for the fact that she's having to accept the consequences of her actions, or "what have I done?" horror, that still wouldn't last over a day, nor would if be something worthy of a whole lot of sympathy from OP. Play awful games, get awful prizes.

[@ViktorErikFade]

Me with a flyer swatter swatting away the "holiday spirit" protecting my left over fall and spooky vibes

[@wendywheeler2651]

I'm 100% with Shaaba on that first post, OP was being completely rational about everything and so was Shaaba, it was the commentors who were crazy

[@spoon1968]

As an adult, my birthday is rarely celebrated on my birthday. It's still nice to acknowledge the birthday on the day. Other than that OP offered alternatives outside the few hours after 6 or 7 that he'll be busy, and she has an entire celebration planned with OP and friends for a different day. Is the expectation that SOs need to take off work and ignore everything and everyone else for the special day (s)/week/month? Married or not it sounds either entitled, or like there's something that needs to be unpacked. Maybe a past neglect or abandonment issue.

[@daviddavid1093]

The good thing about birthdays is that you can technically celebrate them even ever you would like. It doenst have to be on your birthday or near it to celebrate.

[@Sapphykins]

my dad had a friend who decided she was going to have 2 birthdays like the queen, one to spend with her children and grandchildren being respectable, and one for getting pissed with her boyfriend!

[@hannanadine]

On the landlord story… I’m sorry but I don’t even care that she’s pregnant, I would have to leave this person. Her behaviour was too disgusting, I would be too ashamed of her and hold so much resentment. I get hormones has an impact on your mood, but they are not an excuse to be this horrible. That story hurt my heart so much😢

[@whatismylife8100]

I agree she was out of line but you would be surprised how much pregnancy hormones can affect you

[@whatismylife8100]

Just to clarify I don't think she was right by any means, I just think saying that she was faking crying and saying you'd leave her might be a little unfair because hormones genuinely do mess with your head it's not like u just feel a bit sad, it can actually change your personality in a few ways. I think the husband should talk to her about it and try and figure out what happened because she's not been like this before as far as we know. She was definitely in the wrong in this story I just think threatening to leave her may be a little too far

[@VDeku]

Yeah if she can’t even say it was hormones and genuinely thinks he was looking down on them I wouldn’t be able to look at my partner the same way again, I would have to file for divorce because I refuse to be married to such a bully. (I become a bitch on my period, but not that bad, and really, a huge ragging pile of shit human, I’ll snap, and be rude, but I won’t bully another person.)

[@yassine8935]

​@@whatismylife8100I agree I remember when my own mother was pregnant her hormones were really strong mix that with her being bipolar I can definitely see why she lost her cool so much .

[@vcutler4735]

I agree. Partly because the fact she can't come to her senses and apologize of her own volition if it had been a hormone moment of rage (been there, pms is wild) and also partly because what's to say she won't have another moment like that and direct it at their kid? Like G was giving them a gift and has apparently been an actual Saint the last 6 years. What is she going to do when there is a baby screaming for hours at a time because it is teething?? Like that kind of break would shine a whole new light on a partner.

[@SometimesMagii]

Poor husband on the first post, I would be so proud of him to find such a cute and meaningful gift for his brother + still finding time for me. I think the only mistake he could have done is, if the announcement came in short notice. i would be allowed to be sad about it but ultimately agree and spend the evening another way. Maybe state a stupid condition like "you have to make me breakfast on the day after" to seal the deal in a fun way for both of us. This is feels like a flavor of those unrealistic expecations people have for marriage/monogamous relationships

[@zero7769]

first one i agree with you. NTA: he explained it to her and invited her to go with. she said no, so there’s nothing else you can do.

[@skylerricketts7392]

As someone that shares a birthday with her sister pick the next weekend to celebrate with her and make it “her day” that’s what I e done for years

[@jeffleavitt9626]

I am 1000% with you on the first story. That's bizarre how everyone on the forum said YTA. Like almost everyone should be used to their loved ones having other commitments on their birthday

[@soullesscadmium30]

For the first story, i haven't ever had my birthday celebrated on my actual birthday unless it fell perfectly on a holiday. I can't believe this is an issue. What is wrong with people.

[@YumiTheCrow]

I'd be totally okay with moving the celebration of my birthday if my BF were going to an event that day. And I'd be so frustrated if he wouldn't do the same for me. It's just a birthday.

[@frogsbongs]

Yeah honestly you can't expect everyone to not be busy on your birthday every year

[@CatarinaStone]

there's absolutely more to the landlord's story or it's completely fake. Hormonal hysterical pregnant wife ruins a great thing for no good reason just because she was being emotional is something dreamed up by an incel. Also, they've been in the place for 6 years, the going rate for a 2 bedroom is around 2600 and after 6 years it's still 2600? Like, what was the reason? What happened? Did he talk to the wife? Why isn't that part of the story?

[@BringDeathByPickles]

I was shocked when I moved to the UK to find that not only do adults celebrate their birthdays in a big(ish) way, they even get or take time off work to do so. Did not expect the US to be even worse. Madness! X'D The wife in the first post is way out of line and I agree with NTA - she needs to grow up. Let husband spend time with his brother.

[@606Jelly]

I wouldn't say it's common to take time off work for your birthday in the UK. Most folk I know celebrate the weekend before or after, with a dinner or something.

[@dragongirl7978]

I don't think most people in the US are like this. I've had work in class on my birthday tons of times and I don't care.

[@alex_blue5802]

Even if I'm just chilling on my birthday, no way do I want to deal with Debbie from accounting.

[@animeartist888]

Ehhh, it depends on the person. Most people celebrate the weekend before or after with something small, like a group of friends or a spouse or just a small treat for themselves. Some people have big parties or spend the whole day dawn to dusk celebrating. And some people, like me, would rather everyone just forget about their birthday so the day goes the same as any other workday. Only time I'd ask for time off for a birthday is if my husband had something big planned (like a concert, ironically) and I wanted to be absolutely sure I could attend.

[@elking8373]

I feel terrible for G. Yes, his reaction was harsh but he has bent over backwards for that family. Perhaps only to grieve his own tragic family accident. Definitely don’t bite the hand that feeds you. If they truly can’t afford alternative housing, they should probably consider moving out of the state.

[@DelennIrving]

Honestly, with the wife's birthday, he sounds like a really sweet guy, trying to make everybody happy, and we're just dealing with a birthdayzilla moment. I really feel bad for G in the landlord/tenant one. I mean, I feel like there's maybe a chance that they were beginning to take his kindness for granted, and after the wife's outburst, G began to take stock and realized he needed to take a step back in the landlord/tenant relationship. I'd also ask if the reason they were calling him so desperately was because of feeling bad that they hurt him, or because of the loss of his kindness and bending over backwards for them.

[@auntlynnie]

Re: Hali for the Halloween costume contest: She could have begged off and said she wasn’t going to be in the office on Halloween. Bonus would be that it’s mostly/essentially true.

[@alex_blue5802]

I understand that OP panicked but it's perhaps a gentle YTD for setting expectations that won't come true. It seems unfair to the friend.

[@CatherineKimport]

I'm totally with you on the first one, Shaaba. I swear those commenters made up their mind after reading the title and their brains blocked out any part of the story that didn't support their initial verdict.

[@faithpearlgenied-a5517]

The first one is ridiculous. How would she cope if she was single? Surely she has people she can spend the evening with if she can't bear to be on her own for a few hours. Jesus christ. Some people in relationships seem to have the same amount of emotional independence as children.

[@dweia54]

For the first story, I'm with you. I'm shocked at the YTA comments. He's doing everything right, planing a fun day before hand, having a party the day before, inviting her to the concert. She acts like the whole world needs to stop for her birthday... And it's not just a random evening with a buddy. It's a special concert for his brother whose birthday is also quite soon. For the second one, this woman is unhinged, entitled and ungrateful. Not sure hormones can excuse this... I totally get G's decision, he's already nice enough to say he'll renew the contract, he would have been in his own right to tell them they need to look for another place.

[@SlothDaan]

I really don't understand why people put so much importance on a birthday. It's just a day, that'll come back every year.

[@brunahamabata1]

Totally agree with you, Shaaba, on the first story - whatever happened in that thread?... But I can't see any arseholy move on G's part in the second one, at all. If I were him, I'd be feeling gullible and taken advantage of by strangers I happened to have been kind to and thought I'd developed a friendly relationship with for 6 years (that feels like an even longer amount of time when one's an older/elderly person, I believe). As I see it, what the wife did is unforgivable, hormones or not. She should at the very least have tried to speak to him and own up to her mistake as soon as she'd calmed down and her mind had cleared up. I know that's easier said than done, but imo the discomfort/embarrassment she'd have gone through if she'd chosen to do that would've matched the harm caused to both the nicest landlord I've ever heard of and her own family. I understand her words might have stemmed from a deep-rooted feeling of inferiority (which she ought to have brought up privately with her husband, instead of letting it fester within her), but still - there aren't as many great people in this world as we'd like there to be, and she's just ruined things for one of them and probably for the next strangers that cross his path. :/ What an immense shame.

[@brunahamabata1]

Also, 'you're an old man, G, you should know (mistakes happen)'... Well, again, what about having spent quite a few years on this planet trying to help others out and being paid back in that way? It's not as if OP and wife are kids, either - they're bringing a child into the world, BTW, is what mum did the example they want to set to them? I'm sure it isn't, so I strongly feel we should stop making excuses for wife because she's pregnant. Sorry if I sound a bit disagreeable, but this story really upset me... :(

[@1x56]

G ❤ I'm glad that someone so empathetic and kind-hearted who is taken for granted, stood up for himself and refused to be disrespected after going above and beyond with no obligation. He does sound too good to be true but if he's truly a good man then I respect him for setting boundaries. I also think if OP's wife is usually nice and respectful and has changed personality suddenly during pregnancy, it's unfair to condemn her that much, both OP and G. I think G should forgive wife if this is a one off blow up which so happened to occur while pregnant

[@supernatural401]

I'm only part-way through the comments on the first post, but OMG. I feel like OP is about as far away from being the AH as he can be in this situation. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert but I almost never spend an entire day with my husband, birthday or not. Let him celebrate with his brother too. My goodness

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I do understand people wanting to feel special on their birthdays, but the guy in the first story genuinely is trying to make his wife feel special. I get it, yeah, going to dinner together is a typical thing, but there are sooooo many other options. I, as a wife, would have no problems here.

[@kiryanna]

My family has always treated both birthdays and holidays as "movable feasts," where we celebrate them whenever is the most convenient for the largest number of people. I have no idea what the commenters on the first post are on about. OP is going to his wife's party the day before and spending most of the day with her before the concert. She's getting lots of birthday

[@jessicaholscher4097]

4:58: It really depends on your location and the location of nearby big cities. I live in the PNW of Oregon, so Portland is my go-to (and usually the only city in my state where major singers come), but when I wanted to see this one comedian, he wasn't coming to Portland. Luckily, he was going to Seattle (in Washington, which is the state above Oregon), so my friend and I drove three hours there and three hours back. There is a train that goes from Portland to Seattle, but I'm not that desperate (public transportation has a very negative connotation like "oh, you're poor" or "oh, got your license revoked for driving drunk/on drugs?") If he wasn't coming to Seattle, my nearest option would have been Southern California, which would have been like over 15 hours driving or an annoyingly expensive plane trip. The next time, I got to see him in Portland, but the third time, he was at a smaller venue at a Casino at the beach that was about a two hour drive there and two hours back.

[@IlastarothTayre]

Holy hell the stories today made me so mad! Especially the comments on the first one, I'm definitely on the NTA side, given how he seems to be caringly hadling the situations for both people he cares about. Hope he made it to the concert, they deserve it.

[@sonyamiller4853]

People do not read. It is clear to me with that first post. OMG my husband and I are here listening. Debating. And it got to the point where it was like "I'm planning a big day for her before hand,": and "she didn't want to go to the concert" like all the things he and I discussed were covered and we agree OP is NTA. I think redditors just like to dogpile in negativity.

[@valkyriethesmith]

G is absolutely a G!!! good job on G!!!

[@ezrab7665]

YES this video is perfectly timed i can cook my totally completely healthy meal (hash browns i’m at uni okay) while watching !!!

[@artheenbyrogue804]

No judgement here!! Sounds delicious tbh

[@ezrab7665]

@@artheenbyrogue804 haha thank you !!! it was delicious actually

[@elaineb7065]

Hash browns are so yummy!!!

[@wonderbugone]

"Vows and shit"? So your spouse can't have their own life and do special things with their family once you marry? You want an indentured servant, not a partner. I fully agree with you Shaaba. OP was not the drama. He was a considerate brother and partner

[@gracelovely3838]

27:35 This is such a good point, no its not! The bible does lay out roles for men and women (and there are some horrific things in there, don't get me wrong) but when it comes to vows, marriage is supposed to be mutually respectful. The whole virgin thing comes from the idea that adultery is bad, and anyone who has had sex outside marriage will be looking to commit adultery (cheat, basically). Because of misogyny, this mostly gets used against women, but it technically goes for everyone. The Bible also teaches that if someone wants to harm a guest in your home, you should give them a concubine and your daughter instead. So safe to say, not all the lessons in there are good ones

[@flotenstimme4608]

I have often the feeling they get Jesus wrong. Like he showed that rules need love. And that you can forgive and welcome a "sinner". Like the one without sin can throw the first stone a go and talk bad about somebody else But I love how Shaaba got through that post...

[@Requiem_Rose]

The commenters on the first post clearly just read the title and didn't bother to read/comprehend the rest of the post lol! If one of my fiance's siblings had their birthday during the same week as mine and they had a concert that coincided with my birthday. I'd happily celebrate it with them, even if I've personally despised celebrating my birthday since 15/16 yo.

[@petrastedman669]

The G story basically concluded that the wife was just feeling pregnancy stress and wanted to get him to let them live rent free for a while, and went about it in entirely the wrong way.

[@AltAccount-cb7sh]

I don't feel like that should be an excuse. It's still 100% wrong regardless and I don't care what hormones are running through her. She's still an adult woman who knows better than that and should never have blown up on him

[@GamerSisters]

That's still an insane request. He's been so kind to them and she still expects more and to live FOR FREE??? She's become entitled and spoiled.

[@cryptid_deity]

I don't get the forum's reaction to the first post at all, I fully agree with you that things seem fine.

[@rosemariehopkins1496]

The OP in the first story was giving more than I have ever expected for my birthday. Sooo NTA

[@malincristina]

I definitely agree with you on the first story. I think they may have already made up their mind from the title and just finding the sentences in the post that reaffirmed their opinion, ignoring the nuance

[@twinning1944]

Story 3: couldn’t agree with Shaaba more, honestly, every word from Shaaba is “chef’s kiss”😘

[@vcutler4735]

First story is totally nta and I am with you 100% on all of this. And back when I was 28 I would have done my big party the day before my actual bday, have brunch day of and send him off to go celebrate with his bro while I have a girly spa night in with me and the cat and a slice of really fancy cake (since I am not a concert enjoyer).

[@pastelperson_]

For the G story, I think he thought of those two as family. After hearing his story, I wouldn’t be surprised if the wife blowing up on him almost felt like a family member betraying him. I wouldn’t be surprised if his whole view on them as a whole is shattered now.

[@s.a.4358]

I was also wondering that, especially with the background story of G buying the house for his daughter and her partner, and then they passed away, and how he was really happy about them having a baby. Maybe G really misses his late wife and daughter, and OP and his little growing family made G feel happy or almost like the house still gets to see a young family. Even if G doesn’t need the income, he still went above and beyond to be kind to OP and his wife, help them out, making the home a good place (be so fast with repairs, etc).

[@randomlove13k]

As a fairly clingy wife who likes to spend my whole birthday with my husband... I still agree with Shaaba on the first story. Husband was trying his best to do right by both his wife and his brother. Reddit was hard on him.

[@A_T216]

The Reddit responses to the first post are *wild* to me, especially as I'm a bit distanced from wanting to even celebrate my birthday at all. I'd go so far as to say that I wouldn't expect anything at all to be done on my actual birthday if celebrations were planned for a different day, though I understand that's maybe a bit of an outlier opinion. So those comments on Reddit really hit me by surprise lol.

[@zoekrishel6677]

Im 💯 with you on the 1st story- the husband is bending over backwards to please his wife and celebrate with his brother. I would absolutely tell my husband to go to the concert or go with them myself. My bday is in December and there are a lot of other celebrations that go on, i tell my family that we can celebrate my bday on ANY day.

[@thecolorjune]

The comments on the first post are crazy! I completely agree with Shaaba

[@fuchsadler]

I just love how creatively you do your adverts

[@jennifergraham3752]

I was thinking that too. Very well done

[@PaulaRoederer]

I agree with you on story 1, Shaaba. The wife is being a bit of a spoiled brat. Story 2, the wife's behavior was horrid and unforgivable. I was pretty hormonal while pregnant, but never to the point of undeserved cruelty. The wife is 100% of the drama. Story 3, I was raised Catholic, and OP needs to stop insulting Catholics by being one. He has seriously misrepresented modern Catholic teaching. This is not 1500.

[@emmafischell622]

Completely agree with you on story 2. Things like pregnancy don't excuse horrid behaviour. If she had pretty quickly realised how fucked up that was and apologised then I think it would be forgivable but she didn't apologise until she realised there would be consequences for what she said. That points to her outburst being more in character for her than Shaaba gave her credit for

[@homyachik]

The second story is horrible😢 My heart goes out for G, he seems like a sweet man who didn't deserve those words. Hopefully this event didn't make him distrust others or regret ever helping people

[@SarahHalina]

The amount of people with the verdict YTA in the first story is astounding to me. Maybe it's because I wouldn't really care all that much as long as my partner still did something special with me within a couple of days of my birthday. I have literally gone to birthday lunch during the week even though my birthday was on a Saturday because weekday lunches are cheaper. And growing up my birthday parties were never on my actual birthday either because even though my birthday is in the summer, parents still worked and kids were still in babysitters so if my birthday was during the week, I had my party on the Saturday in and around my actual birthday. He's offering to spend most of the day with her and is only going to be going for 7 to the concert. It's not like he's saying "oh there's this concert that I'm taking my brother to and we're just going to hang out and do things during the day waiting for the concert. I'll see you tomorrow though." He can't change the date of the concert.

[@lucysutton7420]

The drama in the first story are honestly the commentors. He's clearly trying his best to celebrate with his wife and his brother and he cant change the date of the concert. I hope he didn't listen to the comments and went to the concert and celebrated with his wife the day before like he said .

[@n0b0dy--]

First one wife is the drama. I'm only 22 and have already had to accept the fact I can't control whether people are free on my birthday. Or any day for that matter. This year I spent my birthday alone and still had a lovely day. I've planned entire parties before where only one person ended up being available. Also you can totally do something else for most of the day and still go to the concert after like OP was planning to do. I used to go to concerts after an 8.5 hour school day, once in a completely different city. It's doable. Wife is being a complete birthday diva, I'm sorry but not everything is about you.

[@fifinoir]

Totally with you about the birthday concert. I feel the wife is being a bit of a drama and the husband is very reasonable. Like you said, a marriage doesn't stop you having other people you love and prioritising them sometimes. It's all situationally dependant and taking OPs situation as he describes it, he's being very reasonable.

[@bradiedean7466]

The commenters in the first story are giving "once your married all other relationships aren't important anymore"

[@nicoleroberts-aldrich5889]

First story: I'm wondering if the sentence was supposed to say "and doesn’t want ME to go to the concert at all."

[@mkcatrona]

My hangup with the first post is the repeated "I told her." They could be having a healthy relationship, and he's not articulating that well, but the word "told" makes it sound like he's informing her of his plans as set rather than bringing up the idea of plans.

[@petrastedman669]

"Jamie & I are dependent on each other." Yes, dear. I saw your IG. 😁 You two are cutely codependent.

[@claudiamcfie1265]

26:41 sounded at first like being incompatible values, but when he suggested ratting her out to her dad went straight to YTA, do not pass Go, do not collect $200

[@moonface710]

I LOVE G!!! ngl he made me tear up!