My Queer Dating App Experience on HER

  Рет қаралды 2,607

Elly Trevisan

Elly Trevisan

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 50
@fantasticbeck3938
@fantasticbeck3938 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing this! As someone who just ended a long-term relationship partly because I’ve had a queer awakening, it’s good to know that apps like Her exist! I’m not quite ready to try dating apps yet, but when I am, I’ll definitely give this one a shot!
@AyceMcGee
@AyceMcGee 3 ай бұрын
🌻 I used HER around a decade ago when it first started off. My experience was bad, mainly because I openly stated I was nonbinary and there were *a lot* of terfs on there. I haven't really thought about the app since then, but it's cool to know it's gotten better and more inclusive! Maybe one day I'll give it another shot :)
@Elly.Trevisan
@Elly.Trevisan 3 ай бұрын
So sorry to hear about your bad experience! There are lots of trans and nonbinary folks on there now :)
@AyceMcGee
@AyceMcGee 3 ай бұрын
@@Elly.Trevisan I checked it out last night and it's so nice now! :D
@AbraCadaveric
@AbraCadaveric 3 ай бұрын
I find it weird conservative is even an option on a queer dating app
@Elly.Trevisan
@Elly.Trevisan 3 ай бұрын
Totally! It makes me think of this song by Francesca Ramsey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mn-9lGywhpKefMk
@Raccoon_Chic
@Raccoon_Chic 3 ай бұрын
There are plenty of conservative and moderate gay people , which I am one of them . Not all gay people are liberal .
@phoebee2326.
@phoebee2326. 3 ай бұрын
@@Raccoon_Chici think the commenter and elly both are referring to the oxymoronic nature of those concepts! not necessarily negating the existence of conservative gays. youre right, they exist! it is just rarer and a bit off-putting because in the current state of society and politics in the US especially, there's a certain compromising of values/priorities that has to occur for a queer person to support modern conservative/"moderate" politics in US culture. i wouldnt personally date a conservative person regardless, because that means we have different values. of course i can talk and connect with many people who share life experiences and such, but when seeking out new romantic or friendly pursuits, i tend to look for people who hold the same values and priorities to me. i think that the vast majority of queer people feel similarly, given our current political and social landscapes. so its still strange that conservative is an option on apps like this, or that political stance is a factor here. i appreciate seeing it though because it tells me who to swipe left on, and i think conservatives would probably feel the same in reverse about me! so its strange, but a useful feature lol
@Raccoon_Chic
@Raccoon_Chic 3 ай бұрын
@@phoebee2326. true I would never date a liberal . I do have friends that are liberal but they are able to be friends with people who have different opinions than them . However , I disagree with some of what you are saying . I think with the current left is doing more harm than good when it comes to actual gay people along with women , children, and the economy. I use to be on the left until I realized how cultures it has become .
@archivist17
@archivist17 3 ай бұрын
As a Socialist, I wouldn't be able to fit any of their labels! 😮
@jaybird_blues
@jaybird_blues 3 ай бұрын
🌻 Hello, also a profile reader!! Also super picky about writing my own... I love the little prompts and boxes and stickers on Her. Had a good couple dates on there but I get overwhelmed with dating apps in general. I activate my profile like once a year for a week or two and then shut it down. The idea that my picture and interests and the general vulnerability of ppl knowing im seeking dates and connections puts a low hum of anxiety in my subconscious 😢 Bumble was somehow the absolute worst, they have like a time limit to message someone or else you lose the match..
@Elly.Trevisan
@Elly.Trevisan 3 ай бұрын
That Bumble time limit sounds super stressful!
@matthew.datcher
@matthew.datcher 3 ай бұрын
My experience growing up fundamentalist has left me with no ability to make connections in person, romantic or otherwise. All but one of my relationships have started because of dating apps. The one happened because she approached me; thankfully I already had a massive crush on her. That seems to be my lot since I was a teenager, big crushes with no way to do anything about them.
@Elly.Trevisan
@Elly.Trevisan 3 ай бұрын
This is a good example of the positives of dating apps!
@SarahBear-di4mq
@SarahBear-di4mq 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I'm not dating right now, but it's interesting to hear about other folks trying it out. Good luck! 🌻
@agathepicard4314
@agathepicard4314 Ай бұрын
Loved this!! So great to see this side of you :)
@phoebee2326.
@phoebee2326. 3 ай бұрын
her was a difficult app for me, it was just a bit awkward and confusing and i wanted the paid features but didnt think it was worth the price. i actually do enjoy hinge to an extent, but even as bisexual myself, i almost NEVER entertain anything with men on hinge or tinder. i think dating apps in general really show some of the harmful social effects that sexism and misogyny has ON men. they dont know how to small talk, how to put any sort of effort into presenting themselves, they dont bother reading things entirely because they just look at the pictures (my preferences clearly state poly, and yet monogamous men like my pictures frequently; likewise i'm a progressive atheist and conservative or moderate christians will like my photos... its just like, where do yall think this would even go???). but like, my point is, men being conditioned to be stoic and "manly" (particularly cishet men) and not showcase their unique interests, talents, personality traits, or not put any effort into presenting themselves interestingly as a romantic (or even platonic!) interest for their desired dating pool, and how they've learned to have "conversations" that arent back and forth exchanges but rather expecting the woman (in cishet norms) to do all the carrying of a conversation while they give short replies and dont ask many questions, etc just demolishes any chance of them looking appealing from a simple dating app profile or messages. i am 100% attracted to male or masculine bodies and people, but having been on dating apps for over 5 years now, i've yet to see even a dozen male profiles that appeals to me enough that i would initiate. and the ones who initiate toward me instead get responses about 15% of the time.
@arpadczyliwampir
@arpadczyliwampir 3 ай бұрын
I downloaded hinge and deleted it immediately when I saw how much information it asked for (I know you could skip adding them but still). I don't want to write everything about myself, like where I went to uni, etc. It's so overwhelming!
@zorgnax
@zorgnax Ай бұрын
I loved hearing your perspective on using Her! Especially the reminder that it is possible to cultivate queer community using apps like this. I'm on a self-imposed hiatus from apps due to still feeling bruised by some recent experiences, but this video helps the process of me eventually getting back on there feel less scary. I used Her back when it was new and it wasn't the best lol but it seems to have come a long way.
@MxAnge
@MxAnge 5 күн бұрын
Hey Elly! Just stumbled on your channel (this video) a few minutes ago; will definitely check out what else you're up to here after I finish typing this. Anyway... I'm genderqueer/trans-femme and just signed up for Her today. It's a little early to give an opinion yet, but if I think of it I'll pop back on here and let you know, when I know. 😊 My psychologist recommended it to me several months ago, but when I checked it out at that time I thought "This is for "real women" only, they're gonna run me out of here if I create a profile!" 🤣 I guess after yet another in a long string of annoying first date from a "cis-dating" site, I decided to check it out a little more carefully today. I'm excited about checking out a place where I don't end up on first-dates that turn into classes on all-things LGBTQ+ that I have to teach. 🤣
@salyx
@salyx 3 ай бұрын
🌻 it’s nice to know you found one you like.
@phoebee2326.
@phoebee2326. 3 ай бұрын
🌻🌻🌻 (i commented earlier in the video but another one for the algorithm probably isnt a bad thing ever lol)
@asahisangel
@asahisangel 3 ай бұрын
Just tried it out and was a little disappointed to see their main ad partner was better help considering how awful their platform is :/
@leximakesstuff
@leximakesstuff 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@evemaekarain
@evemaekarain 3 ай бұрын
Groeten en liefs uit Nederland en een zonnebloem! Greetings and love from The Netherlands and a sunflower!🌷🌻🌷
@user-th7lu2yf7n
@user-th7lu2yf7n 3 ай бұрын
it's so great that you're developing as a person like this (in becoming more outgoing and meeting new people through apps or otherwise) im going through a similar process right now (im 19). how are you feeling about starting to do that gradually? asking for that because im going through something similar (im from another country btw but i relate to you) for me i have been comfortable using bumble so far. i share enough info on it to hint im queer or at the very least queer friendly. and maybe in the circumstances of my country, this works!
@celestecelestial90
@celestecelestial90 19 күн бұрын
🌻 Dating apps aren’t for me. I’m happy to be in longer term relationship.
@t-shades7148
@t-shades7148 13 күн бұрын
I met my first girlfriend through HER! I'd be curious to know why you hate Hinge so much. I find Hinge and Bumble just okay. Absolutely HATED Tinder
@dsam3
@dsam3 Ай бұрын
Your 2nd pic and the top you are wearing are the same 😊
@jessilovely
@jessilovely Ай бұрын
🌻 I’m gonna have to get the app and send you a friend request 😉 Does your location range cover Ireland? 😬 😂
@heatherweather8491
@heatherweather8491 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@not.samcooke
@not.samcooke 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@arpadczyliwampir
@arpadczyliwampir 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@scarlettredding
@scarlettredding 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@erins3147
@erins3147 3 ай бұрын
🌻
@lauraj.crawford2256
@lauraj.crawford2256 Ай бұрын
🌻
@roaringeagle1
@roaringeagle1 Ай бұрын
🌻
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