My sexuality | FTM

[@robert.brennan]

I am so proud of you for making this, I know how hard this must have been to make and I am so happy for you now being in a place where you are comfortable in yourself and your sexuality💕

[@mariannick9418]

Hi, I wanted to quickly ask you something: I'm german but my dream is to move to Ireland some day. Am I allowed to join your Irish Facebook group for trans folks? I'm a trans guy but not Irish. I'd just love to find friends in Ireland, so I could maybe meet some people when I go there

[@mariannick9418]

obviously I understand if I can't join cause I'm not Irish😅

[@JChiibs]

*High five* It is not easy getting all the bits and pieces of being Trans sorted out let alone how it relates to sexuality. I had a bit of a brain twist of realizing I was gay a few years before I realized I was Trans. LOL! In my late 30s, married for 15+ years and so far into the closet that I didn't even know there was a door. I might have realized I was Trans long before except that I kept assuming that me liking only men was 'proof' that I was straight. I had to figure out quickly what the heck was going on when I would try and be intimate with my husband and dysphoria would rear its ugly head, forcing me to involuntarily shove him away really hard and start crying. I had no choice but to figure out what was wrong with me because I didn't want him to think it was his fault because I at least knew it wasn't something he had done. A few months later I very timidly asked him what he would think if I was a guy. I was terrified to even utter the sentiment and he was understandably hurt and confused. But to his credit he didn't reject me, something I was massively terrified of. We had started dating in high school and had been together about 20 years by the time this all surfaced. As it turned out, me coming out to him in turn allowed him to sort out that he himself is pansexual (and helped make sense of some curious things in his past.) It is so completely stupid for someone to accuse a Trans person for lying/being deceptive about their sexuality because we have so much baggage to unpack and sort out even after we know what's going on. 35+ years and I never fully realized I was Trans because of my upbringing and how I was very forcibly taught to "act like a girl" but always felt like I was failing. Also as remnants of my upbringing I didn't feel like I could even consider the notion that my gender did not match my outward presentation, despite when I was 5 or 6 years old I clearly knew I chose 'tomboy' as my gender just to myself because boy or girl didn't fit. And then the biggest glaring facepalm is the fact that I thought that Transgender was only MTF because I had never seen Trans represented as anything else. I didn't even grasp the 'man in a woman's body' connection either because I have always felt like a man in my own body that just happens to be deformed. Mutilated by genetics. So the day I started trying to poke around on KZbin to find out what Transgender meant (ironically the only part of LGBTQ I didn't know...) and finally found many FTMs on here talking about who they are. I watched videos and cried for a solid 12 hours. I finally had something to show my husband as to how I've always felt but was raised to believe that expressing such thoughts was vile and unnatural. It took some time for Hubby and I to talk about a lot of it, but he and his family have been brilliant about it, while my own family has been severely mixed. Anyone who assumes that someone working out that they are Trans automatically has everything sorted out is delusional. And it isn't just knowing who you are and who you desire to sleep with either. Transitioning, or lack there of, is a completely separate can of worms. I still struggle very hard with the reality that it is nearly impossible for me to physically transition due to medical reasons. It has taken a LOT of self coaching for me to realize that the lack of transitioning is in no way a reflection that I am or am not Trans. There will never be a day when I will pass as male, even though people thought I was a boy a lot when I was growing up. LOL! Learning to ignore the voices that tell me I don't exist or I'm not Trans 'enough' simply because I don't look as they expect has not been easy, especially when they get pushy or aggressive about it. But I'm stronger than that and I don't need them to validate me. Any Trans individual has the right to ignore, dismiss, or remove people from their life who do nothing but invalidate them. Having them accuse a Trans person as a liar because of the accuser's inability to see individuals complexly is not the Trans person's fault. Even if we love someone, sometimes it is best if they are not a part of our life. Surrounding ourselves with those who care enough about us to support us is not escapism but a requirement to maintain our mental health in a healthy manner.

[@lukeduffy1500]

do a react vid to lady gaga's the fame