My SLY BOYFRIEND Admitted His Love For My BEST FRIEND I Don't Think I Can TRUST Him r/Relationships

[@jbgra2566]

I hope the OP from the second story can come to terms with the fact that she was groomed. The faster she begins to heal, the faster her son can have the healthy mom he deserves

[@Dani.J.]

Wow that last one is infuriating. This man altered her entire life, destroyed her self worth and confidence, somehow manipulated her into taking ALL the blame and responsibility for it, all because he wanted to have a quick fling with a barely legal teen. The sister should know what kind of soulless monster she's married to. I doubt that was his first affair. That may not even be his only 'secret' child.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

Agreed. Poor woman.

[@ixxieangel]

The sister probably already knows what kind of monster he is and what he did to OP but chooses to keep her happy little life and place all of the blame on OP. She would have to have been blind and deaf to have not seen the signs of grooming throughout OP's childhood and young adulthood. If OP disappeared when she was 18 without a word to go live with their aunt and suddenly has a new baby but no relationships to speak of the sister has already put two and two together but isn't willing to burst her own happy bubble to save or get the justice OP deserves.

[@triciawashburn8766]

@@ixxieangel I kinda disagree because then you are saying it is always parents fault when kids get SA or rap**. You can not always see the signs and some hide it very well. When I was a kid I was and my great uncle did not treat me any different then the other kids in front of my parents. He was nice and not overly touchy but he lived with us and at night was different person. If my mom would have known she would have never allowed that and when she found out they went straight to the police. I just hope she gets the help she needs because I never did if it was not for my husband I don't know what kind of person I would be.

[@Kai-uj5go]

@@triciawashburn8766 Sorry that happened, I'm glad your parents did react appropriately when they found out. Sadly for some people that isn't the case, sometimes people stay, sometimes they don't speak out, sometimes they are even in on it either for their own enjoyment or to keep the predator happy. Not saying which camp the sister is in because we don't know her.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Most upsetting one I’ve heard in a long time. I’d like to find that man… and… grrrrrr

[@JMac7395]

Unfortunately a lot of groomers never really get their karma. This is mostly due to their relatives & friends protecting them & shunning the victims. It's easier to believe a lie than face the truth. Even if OP never confronts the BIL, I hope she tells the sister. It's a possibility the sister will not believe her but at least OP planted a seed of suspicion & mistrust. Because I guarantee OP wasn't the only young relative BIL groomed

[@kittylovesfilms]

THIS..... rapist win...... rapist rule our world....... sexual abuse is EVERYWHERE!!!!

[@LadyBern]

Worse the law can't do anything as it's morally wrong but not illegal as long as nothing inappropriate happened before the one being groomed became a major.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Glad at lest op got away from her groomer and won’t let that monster near her son

[@C.L.Hinton]

Story 2: That poor woman! And her poor kid! And that _disgusting_ BIL. This story elicited a whirlwind of emotions.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I don't know. I am always leary of people that start adding important information into their comments, edits, and updates which completely change the story from her being the A-hole to her becoming the victim. She made every mistake possible raising this kid from lying to him to trying to avoid seeing him by working all the time and claiming it was needed for boarding school fees which the aunt was willing to pay. I'm not saying she was or wasn't groomed, I am saying her story is very sus and should be taken with a grain of salt. Regardless, her and the BIL's actions were horrible and they both should be ashamed of themselves. It's even worse she cheated with her sister's (who practically raised her) husband, gets pregnant and runs away without telling her sister she is married to a cheater and possible child groomer. What about the sister's kids? Shouldn't they be protected from a possible child groomer?

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@thomasjoseph5876 she was 100% groomed. no 18 yr old looks at a 43 brother in law and wants him.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@carterpitbull7366 Then why didn't she include all that important info in her original story??? Why didn't she at least tell her sister that she was married to a cheater??? It just seems odd her story suddenly changes after she is labeled the A-hole. She might or might not have been groomed. Stranger things have happened with people always using the lame excuse that the heart wants what the heart wants to justify any sort of relationship they shouldn't be in.

[@ladyviren]

Did u not listen to the story at all? She clearly didn’t register that she was groomed, most victims don’t. Learn some empathy

[@damien678]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Dude, she wasn't even TA in the og story ffs

[@SailorMya]

Story 2 just leaves a pit in my stomach and I really hope for the best for both of them moving forward.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

"I know who I am and what I did" oh jfc that poor woman.. she has no idea that she's a victim

[@kbf9644]

Not at all. Her anger is all internally directed and the majority of it is misplaced anger at that. She simply doesn’t know yet. Heartbreaking. She needs her meds and to keep doing therapy until they (doctors, therapists and Aunt) can get her clear enough to *hear* them.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@kbf9644 fair, it seems she does KNOW she was a victim, but hasn't really processed what that means yet. Mourning the loss of her free will in the matter, I went through very similar things, I'm also a survivor of abuse, when she said that it hit me

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@kbf9644 lol I thought you were slightly disagreeing with me 😅

[@MrsWheezer]

I feel such rage toward that man who abused her. And yes, that was abuse, even if she was technically legal at the time. Ugh!!!

[@kbf9644]

@@ACAB.forcutie I was worried it was going to read that way but my brain was asleep and I couldn’t seem to fix it. lol

[@heatherdickau5335]

The op just sounds overwhelmed with all of this. Yes I think she was groomed. Yes this will probably blow up her sister's marriage but none of it was her fault. Until she can see that and accept her abuse it will be hard for her to heal.

[@brandi5126]

This story is really sad. Antidepressant aren't habit forming. She shouldn't worry about getting addicted to them. She should worry about stoping them abruptly. If she follows her doctor's guidance she will be ok. There is so much misinformation about antidepressants.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Literally this whole story is so heartbreaking

[@katiexxooo5588]

No they aren't habit forming but like you said she should only worry about stopping abruptly. The meds im on will give you bad withdraws even if you taper

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@katiexxooo5588 I almost died when I suddenly couldn't have my SSRIs. But addiction isn't correct. More education is needed :(

[@pansprayers]

@@ACAB.forcutie yup, vast difference between addiction (will do anything to get it) and DEPENDANT (need to live a decent life, will have backlash if abrupt withdrawal occurs). It really applies to anything in life - food, meds, exercise, ect - that produces a dopamine/serotonin high. You're far more likely to become addicted to something - if you meet certain criteria, all pretty well established by medical professionals. The only real addiction issue that SSRI's pose is becoming addicted to the act of taking them, but that's more in line with certain types of OCD.

[@pmmmAMV]

I mean, I did develop an addiction to one SSRI, but that was not a function of the SSRI, it was a psychological one like how you can get addicted to various activities I was so scared of feeling anything and the dose was so high that I was basically constantly sedated due to its side effects But yes, absolutely DO NOT stop SSRIs cold turkey

[@ebagentj]

The second story is the saddest I've heard on AITA in so long. Sadly I know what it's like to have such a low opinion of yourself and not want to hear otherwise. I hope someone can explain to her that antidepressants are not addictive/habit forming, and that along with them the therapy starts to produce positive results for her. She and her son deserve the best. As do her aunt. I hope in time she can be honest with her sister about what her husband did but sadly I can see the sister blaming OP and that's exactly what she doesn't want, even when faced with the evidence that her husband is a disgusting grooming predator.

[@celiarichard3049]

Needed to hear the last story. Therapists are sorely needed as parenting is so difficult for most people.

[@eatmymystic2741]

Honestly I just need to put out there I love that you time stamp your videos for people to jump ahead because I like the comments and the advice people give I really enjoy just skipping to the updates sometimes

[@rathorclemenger6125]

Story 1: At least OP's Boyfriend had owned up to it.

[@streamerssaymyname]

The boarding school sounds like a really bad idea, because abuse can and does happen there because they don't have guardians watching 24/7 and some guardians may be abusers themselves. I also hope OP finds out why her son wants to meet his dad so bad - he is becoming vulnerable to abuse just for that driving need for a father/father figure that abusive men look for in kids.

[@kittylovesfilms]

YES!!!!! This!!!!! I am SO WORRIED For That little Boy!

[@kdhebskh]

Story 1: This is why boundary is very very important. There are so many ppl falling for their SO's best friend, sister/brother etc.

[@kbf9644]

Gods yes, please listen to what was said about modern antidepressants vs anxiety meds. Antidepressants need hit and remain at a specific to you level in your body to work. Consistency is mandatory. In fact, not taking them as directed is going to worsen existing issues and often adds new issues to the mix. If you mess with that in any way, more or less, it’s bad news.

[@kyraevermoon5544]

I hope she doesn't send her kid to boarding school. It'll give him all kinds of abandonment issues.

[@phantom-pr6op]

Comments seemed a bit off at the very end. My read of the situation was that she was mad that the psychiatrists kept saying she had no control over what happened and she's having trouble seeing things that way which is really heartbreaking and I think a little more complicated than her just being in denial about being groomed. Also it sounds like she is taking the medication just having the aunt dish it out for her which is more cautious than she needs to be but whatever.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Her whole story is very sus. She screwed up from day one and made every possible mistake you can as a parent. After the original story where she got destroyed in the comments, she starts turning the story around 180 degrees with her comments and updates insinuating that she was groomed. I am always leary of people that turn a story around suddenly with information they "forgot" to put in the original story that completely changes it from her being the A-hole to the victim.

[@damien678]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Trauma physically changes your brain, and a part of that for a lot of people is having worse memory. I've forgotten a lot of details about my own abuse, and then had something make me remember seemingly little things that do change quite a bit about those memories/'stories'. I've forgotten just how badly my uncle physically attacked me. I've forgotten how much someone hurt me with their words, and how malicious they were acting in the moment. It's not fun having trauma and PTSD. It's way too easy to make those of us suffering from these things look like the bad, untrustworthy guy.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@damien678 Very true. But I find it odd she suddenly started to "remember" things AFTER the Reddit community baked her original story. I'm not saying she was or wasn't groomed, only 2 people really know that for sure. What I am saying is how this story shook out in her later comments and updates seemed sus.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@sofijastanding2305 Please point out where I said she wasn't groomed. I have stated several times that I don't know whether she was groomed or not based on the info she released to us. I have also not victim-shamed her since we don't know for sure she was an actual victim. I am merely pointing out several inconsistencies in her story which many on Reddit also did the same until suddenly, in her comments to others and updates, her story "changed" or "shifted", if you will. What we do know for sure is she had an affair with her sister's husband, the very sister that raised her, got pregnant by him, and then left without ever saying a word about it to her sister. If he is this "bad guy" why would she just walk away without any sort of a warning to her sister? Especially since they have kids. Even if she was groomed and was a victim, she is still a horrible person. She is similar to a rape victim that refuses to tell anyone about it or press charges against the rapist. By not telling someone about it, they are allowing that rapist or in this case, the alleged groomer to continue doing it and putting other women/children at risk. One of my 8 sisters was sexually assaulted because 2 other women refused to tell anyone about the man and the fact he did the same to them. My sister told me and that man will never touch another woman ever again. He simply ..... disappeared and no one has ever heard another word from him.

[@lilmisskristy5467]

​@thomasjoseph5876 you seem too be okay with the man having s*x with someone they raised.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that OP two was only EIGHTEEN?! Grooming was likely involved and I find it hard to believe otherwise.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

Who glossed over that? Kinda sounds like it was brought up repeatedly.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox I get that after the updates and whatnot, but she had been convinced she had an affair by that gross predator.

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox many men will say "she knew what she was doing" and "she was 18 so she was legal"

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@manxiefeathermoon9888 Yeah, but no one was glossing over it. It was brought up. Repeatedly.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox the commenters in the beginning part that was getting on OP, none of them was even talking about it

[@sanchisan6997]

I REALLY INTENSELY HOPE that she does not send her kid away. That is a recipe for disaster! No no no no! Don't do it, girl!!

[@AIBot929]

Yeah story 2 she 1000% needs the therapy, because it's not a coincidence that they are ALL saying the same thing. I understand that she feels powerless and like she had no control but that's what grooming is. The other person has the life experince and manipulation down pat. Just because she isn't successful right now doesn't mean she never will be, it also sounds like she never went to therapy after her parents deaths either considering she feels like she failed them. She needs soooo much help and it's sad that mental health is portrayed the way it is in society. I really hope she comes to terms with her past, I wish BIL all the negativity, and I really hope she tells her sister.

[@ivy456]

I hate how in the 2nd story the commenters were attacking OP for being careful with her anti depresents. While they may not be addictive it can really mess with your mind and change your pesonality. These are not meds to be taken lightly. I've seen first hand how it made my mom act like a crazy person. I know it can be frustrating listening to OPs story but she's clearly taking meds carefully and going to therapy. This is a long process and OP won't all of the sudden change. People are saying how she should talk to her sister but I wouldn't be surprised if her sister knows. I find it hard to believe she doesn't suspect anything but ignores it. Sometimes you have to protect yourself and say nothing. OP has a child to take care off and he doesn't know how horrible his dad is so this could really blow up in OPs face if she's not careful.

[@shadowkissed2370]

The issue here is not really the fear of addiction; you cannot get addicted to antidepressants. It is more so the fear of admitting she does not have control. She is also scared to admit she was actually sexually assaulted and groomed. As someone who was sexually assaulted and groomed as a child, I can attest the lack of control sends me on a spiral.

[@axepagode33626]

Boyfriend has deep feelings for best friend story: What a great way to get your gf to break up with you without any hard feelings. I wonder if he already had the job across the country set up before he told you about his "feelings". You break up on good terms because you can't stop yourself from actually falling for someone. You can only pretend that the feelings aren't real. So .... You break up. He moves away amicably ..... just like he planned.

[@ChocoKittyMew]

Ngl, that would be insane if that was the case lol

[@CensorshipVictim]

It happens, my ex tortured me for months because he wanted me to break up with him so he could control the narrative (crazy ex-girlfriend). But it back fired and I ended up in the ER and my dad threatened him at his BBQ about how abusive he was in FRONT OF HIS ENTIRE FAMILY and FRIENDS. He had to move out of state after that...

[@axepagode33626]

@@ChocoKittyMew Or serious next level gaslighting and manipulation. The scary part is my mind went there.

[@shamaliwije4872]

1st story...feels like the boyfriend wanted to breakup, and found a way for OP to breakup, keeping him still the good guy. Wonder if he was cheating with someone else.

[@kateemma22]

WE HAVE A NO A-HOLES HERE! WHAT A WONDERFUL CHANGE OF PACE! It's sad that it happened, the circumstances suck, but no one was the a-hole!

[@fiyahquacker2835]

The ex was definitely a minor asshole since he waited 4 months of doing nothing to say something.

[@marcusgray2799]

Story 1 he did right by telling her. Whats crazy is if he cheated everyone would have loved him heavy. Wow!!!

[@EllieC130]

As someone on prozac, definitely wouldn’t call the addictive. Though suddenly stopping them did cause a kind of mania in me. So the concept of getting withdrawal while not being addicted is spot on for prozac.

[@clarehidalgo]

Prozac worked okay for me at first making me feel more grounded but I had a terrible side-effect of being chronically fatigued. I didn't have any withdrawls when I stopped, luckily. The chronic fatigue was worse for my mental health then what the Prozac was fixing. I put 2 and 2 together when I suddenly had energy again after stopping

[@EllieC130]

@@clarehidalgo hope you found something that worked for you, pharmaceutical or otherwise. It is frustrating that its often a guessing game when it comes to anti depressants as to which ones you won’t cope well on.

[@LisaApril]

Story two: although anti-depressants are not addicting, one must slowly titrate down instead of quitting cold turkey. This is so that the body feels no discomfort and so the mind also has no jarring that could be unpleasant. I understand boarding schools might be a good education and a good segue to college, however it takes away from the parenting bond and the familiar bond. I can’t see many American women wanting their children to go away at the age of seven.

[@tommyhaukedalhansson2797]

Not having discomfort are basicly dependent,most heroine users would not be dependent of it if they not being sick if not getting it, happy pills are evil

[@inkbottle6609]

She's broken... like, to the core. It's so depressing to see it written down. And that shell of a man got nothing as payback omg I'm fucking FUMING never ever I felt the necessity to k1ll someone as strongly as towards this groomer. I really hope she gets better and builds a good support system for her to get the help she so desperately needs

[@thomasjoseph5876]

She messed everything up at every turn. I have to wonder if she was actually groomed or did she lead the story towards what would be considered grooming in her comments and updates because she literally got destroyed in the comments after her original story. I am always leary of stories that change directions 180 degrees in edits and updates after the OP gets destroyed in the comments. I'm not saying she didn't get groomed or that she did, this whole story seems to be very sus when you add everything up and how she put her kid in therapy but refused it for herself and then didn't want to be around the kid and started working all the time using "boarding school fees" as the reason when her aunt volunteered to cover it.

[@radish.]

@@thomasjoseph5876 he raised her from age 6, no matter how enthusiastic about it she might've seemed, she was absolutely 100% groomed. He waited specifically for her to turn legal because he knew that way he could definitely get away with it because she would do what she has done now - convince herself that it was consensual and that she's an awful person.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Spotted the groomer-supporter that lacks critical thinking.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@radish. I didn't say there was no possibility she wasn't groomed, only that her story changed dramatically after she got destroyed in the comments. She went from A-hole to victim in a few posts. That always seems to happen when someone gets destroyed in comments or they delete their post lol.

[@damien678]

@@thomasjoseph5876 that doesn't mean she's lying, though. maybe her getting destroyed cleared her head more.

[@cade5782]

Hey what’s up guys! I think that we’re all ready for another great Markee video!

[@Markee]

True!!

[@kalinaphillips9779]

Story 2. There is no way OP, can cover the affair. The son can get ME23 for DNA test. Then everything will blow up.

[@jamieslaughter6703]

Markee, I really enjoy your opinions and your advice. Makes me wanna listen to your content. There’s other voices that I enjoy hearing, but your voice and your advice and opinions. Make me wanna listen to you. Thanks and keep it up.👍🏻

[@utersoft9684]

My ex boyfriend fell in love with another guy from his school. He told the other guy about his feeling for him and told him that he felt culpit about it because of me. The guy is straight so the fellings were not mutual. He only told me because I pressuring him to tell me what's wrong, as I knew something was going on with this guy. And, what did not help is that he avoided me and wouldn't want to be close to me, no hug, no kiss. And then, when he had enough of me asking, he told me : "I didn't want to tell you but you had it coming, I fell in love with another guy." It was so heartbreaking. He layer told me that he has to think and wouldn't speak to me. I had enough and decided to confront him and told me he was depressed because he didn't want to split but he don't want to be with me either since he loves someone else. I cheered him up and it and it worked a little, even thought I was in depressed too. He took a shower, and I checked his phone, he was sexting with younger men and even told him that he loves and I thought that now that I matured, he did not wanted me anymore (he only dated minor, and I was a minor when we first dated and was his first "adult" relationship (no, he wasn't attrated to kid, he has self esteem probleme, and wanted to feel younger even though he was 20 when we first dated)). I confronted him and he told me that it was none of my business (it would have been true if we had split). We talked for long Time and drunk et he said : "you know we drink but you understand that we are splitting. I noded because I knew it was the end. It took me a lot of time to get over him. He told me that I had to wait for him to be better if I wanted to stay with him until his psycologist told him that it was cruel to do that to me and to "free" me. He was my first boyfriend. I stayed in my bed crying and thinking about him during full days. I skipped a lot of class because I felt so bad. About year after I felt better and move on, he told me that he still loves me, that he made a mistake, that I abandoned him and that we never ended things properly. He said that he wanted me back. It took a lot courage but I told him that I had finally move on and he shouldn't hope for us to be together again, that I tried to see him and to help him be better and that he just ghosted me. I told him that he said we were done clearly. He apologised and he said that he loves me again but understood that it was over. I think, it's best not to stay with someone who fall in love with another person because it's a lot of suffering in both party. Sorry if it's not a perfect english, it is not my first language.

[@annabelfazukimi7902]

The last story just breaks my heart

[@1cannedpeaches]

My heart breaks for the second OP

[@mgaus]

Reddit: why don't people in relationships communicate better?! Also Reddit: he told you his feelings, he's evil, dump him!

[@emilybarclay8831]

People were not mad he was honest with his feelings. They were mad that he made no attempt to distance himself from this girl out of respect for his relationship

[@mgaus]

@@emilybarclay8831 he left the state. He did everything right by any reasonable standard and probably a bit beyond that.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@mgaus he moved after he told OP. After his inaction caused their breakup, before that he was regularly spending time with the woman he had supposedly fallen in love with alone. That is so disrespectful and practically looking for an opportunity to make a move

[@mgaus]

@@emilybarclay8831 what do you propose is a better solution? Suddenly cut contact with the friend and try to keep the relationship intact? Honestly, this is mind blowing. If this is the treatment men should expect when expressing feelings it's no wonder we bottle it up. And you seem like a prime example of why so many men are swearing off relationships

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@mgaus not hiding your feelings for nearly half a year and explaining the situation immediately to OP and the friend and ensuring you never spent time alone with said friend? Very, very easy stuff here

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: I'm glad the people in the post are more mature than the comments section. They all handled it like adults, the comments sound like a teen drama.

[@dream6562]

Nah they are just armchair judges

[@HighPhoenix1754]

I don't know that I agree with the EX being the bad guy. The best friend said she didn't notice anything change in the friendship for the duration of the crush, meaning he made no moves to act on said crush/love. I am a firm believer that you can feel however you want, as long as you don't act on it inappropriately. He chose not to act on his feelings. He chose to open up to OP. And even when he was broken up with, he CHOSE to move away. To me, that shows character. He tried doing the right thing, imo without disrupting anything.

[@dream6562]

@@HighPhoenix1754 so OP is the real bad guy here

[@HighPhoenix1754]

@@dream6562 No one is. And I never said anyone else was. Not every situation needs a bad guy

[@dream6562]

@@HighPhoenix1754 in every situation there is a bad guy, because every story demands one

[@bacgu]

Story 1: Every comment is essentially "Now me personally, I wouldn't let that slide"

[@Callimo]

Well, OP and her bf have been together for nearly a decade and then, boom, bf dumped a grenade on OP. It's pretty hard.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@Callimo don't forget he did wait 4 months while he continued as normal and do nothing about his feelings simmer before saying something.

[@grimlingLennie]

The boarding school Idea might sound good in theory, but, considering all the grief and confusion the kid is already going through, I'm afraid it might create more abandonment issues.

[@telinhajp]

Hi Markee! Big hugs from Tokyo! ❤️🤗

[@Markee]

Big hugs from Australia 🥰

[@pbpb-he6gx]

I hope she takes the advice of her child's psychologist about boarding school. I am a non-professional but to me, it would seem to the son as abandonment and rejection just like his farther has treats him.

[@kittylovesfilms]

YUP! That Story Has me RAGING. Everyone SUCKS ASS! That poor little boy...... there is no hope for him at this point. He's being raised in abuse.

[@intetx]

1st story. Maturity wtf? No? He told her. He obviously didn't "try to test the waters" and he felt like he had to move away? For me my partner telling me would be a mayor sign of trust. This group is a bunch of toddlers feeling so wise >.>

[@HighPhoenix1754]

Precisely. I disagree that the EX was the bad guy at all. He had feelings. Tried to let it pass without disrupting ANYTHING. Finally let his partner know after being pressed because he does not know what to do, and then gets dumped. And even more so, HE accepts the blow, loses his friend group and his partner, and rides off into the sunset of his own volition. But sure, he's the bad guy because he couldn't help how he felt and didn't know what to do about it. At best, he's a dumbass for not creating distance in the beginning, but then.. what? The best friend even attests that she noticed NO change in the relationship for the duration of the crush and was shocked when she was told--- that tells me, in combination with everything else, he didn't try anything and was sincerely hoping things would blow over. Damn

[@zionaltidor8717]

Thank you cuz I thought I was fucking crazy, cuz if you can't have a healthy discussion on how you feel even when like little crushes pop up you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

@@zionaltidor8717 precisely. Having a crush/falling for someone, and acting on it are two different things. If my partner admitted to this, and was willing to do ANYTHING to do right by me? Then I'd work with them. If they weren't? To the curb

[@intetx]

@@HighPhoenix1754 The only good thing I see here is that the ex learned that his friends and partner obviously not mature enough to deal with any type of long term relationship and it would have broken apart anyway when some other things would have made it difficult in the future. I hope he finds some better contacts.

[@zionaltidor8717]

Another thing to add on they were all friends like equally good friends so it would have been just weird to just cut contact to zero, without any explanation then you got to account for the fact of the drama that could have happened if he did that

[@inichan8786]

For the second story: I hope OP will get to a point to allowe herself room to be angry and feel hurt. Depression can need medication, depending on circumstances, but never alone. Most medication for these cases is just meant to keep you afloat until you can figure out ways to express yourself in a healthy manner. Therapy is always a must and confronting the emotions the trauma has caused, all of them. Be it crying, anger, fear all of it. Sometimes even disgust with one self or loathing of others. Their emotions one has denied themselfs to feel and thus bottled up: Pressing them down! THAT is the issue. Therapists will help one walk through them and give tools to express them without tearing down the life you currently have. That is also why they will recommend letting impressions sink in and think about them and work on them the next session. Not to further get money out of you but so you don't blow up your current life and can make a fully informed descission. It sounds easy, but it is fucking hard! Tho also very much worth it.

[@lookdog4096]

On the first story why is everyone making the boyfriend look like a monster for having a crush but NOT acting on it. He did the right think on telling his girlfriend but nope just turn his live upside down.

[@mgaus]

Yeah, Reddit comments are fairly disgusting. The vilification of the (ex) boyfriend who also did everything right is abhorrent

[@debc6260]

Geez, what a mess! I'm glad OP is making taking some positive steps though.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I'd be iffy as well if my partner told me they had developed feelings for somebody, but my _god._ I can understand why it'd be a deal breaker for some but a lot of the comments are acting like it _has_ to be a deal breaker for _everyone._ Literally just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't like others or think they're attractive or whatever, it's whether you _act_ on it that makes you an AH or not and from the sounds of it, _he didn't act on it._ Emotions don't just fade away until there's only feelings left for your partner. You can't control who you like, but you _can_ control how you go about it and it sounds like he did everything right. I'm not saying Op _had_ to stay with him, but I don't like how some people are implying/saying he's a bad person.

[@demonheart13]

Yeah, thos last two comments saying he's the bad guy for developing a crush and not instantly ghosting his best friends girlfriend. Like that wouldn't have been obvious. Plus, you generally don't realize you have a crush until somewhere in the middle of crushing and like liking.

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Liking someone as a friend and feeling in love is different. It is a deal breaker for everyone who is sane

[@owl7072]

@@manxiefeathermoon9888 (would like to clarify I'm not saying this in a harsh way since it can be difficult to tell over text) Again, I understand that. Like I said I'd be hesitant too and probably debate on staying, but _also_ like I said, feelings are one thing but _acting_ on them is another and _that,_ for me personally, would be the deciding factor in whether I left or not. I totally get why people would break up over something like that, I'm just saying it doesn't _have_ to be a deal breaker for _everyone._ It's purely dependent on whether the people in the relationship think it's worth staying and working through. Just so happens that for Op it wasn't worth it, which is unfortunate but understandable.

[@Dawghome]

Exactly my point Manxie, he's in grief, he has a crush, 'all of a sudden', a CRUSH... not in love! He's had a family bond severed from him, he is possibly afraid that if he can't visualise his dad's face, he's an awful son, worse, never loved him! It's a crazy head space to be dropped into! Grief to that degree is giant PANTS, and what's his girlfriend doing to help with that grief? The guy needs help, so he's latching onto someone who is in the same rocky boat!

[@damien678]

@@manxiefeathermoon9888 Again, we cannot control how we feel, but how we act. Fair enough if it's a dealbreaker for you, but insisting only insane people wouldn't think it's inherently a dealbreaker for them is far too rigid, black-and-white thinking. It's also insulting people's intellect and reasoning.

[@theroyalbugness]

Hurray!!! Good morning Markee!

[@cynicalminion]

14:25- sounds like the best advice here is to own up to your kid that his dad wasn't a soldier, but WON'T be around, regardless of how many people he asks... THEN- make sure that IF there's any question of paternity, it gets squashed, by YOUR attorney... and last, pray to GOD that your sister never finds out... no victim blaming, but i wouldn't expect her to EVER want to see your son again...

[@lauracottom7425]

What happens when the child decides to do a 23 and me to find other family members.? She needs to figure out a way to fix this. You are hurting your son. Sending your son away may make you lose your child. You already say that you are working more and not spending time with him and then sending him away will make it worse.

[@georgidimitrov836]

I'd not be surprised if 95% of reddit is just therapists phishing for patients. It gets brought up all the time xD

[@omnipossum92]

Nah, there’s definitely gotta be a good chunk of divorce lawyers too

[@rwilliams8736]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂This made me literally 😆 lol 😂 I wouldn't put it pass a bunch of therapists phishing for fresh game. Don't hate the player...hate the game.

[@kylaluv8453]

Wow, the first story is why we have huge divorce rates. Because people actually think they can spend 60+ years married to one person and never again develope feelings for another human. Which is dumb. That is like saying you can only have one friend and never feel friendship for anyone else. We are social creatures who want to form bonds with others. And when the BF communicated his issue like a mature adult...Instead of working through it OP dumps him. This exact several is why marriage is hard work. When the daily life with another person whom you have spent the last 20 yrs with gets a bit stale and others start to look and feeling fresh and exciting.... this is were marriage gets hard. Wouldn't the logical thing be to communicate with your spouse, identify what is amiss in the marriage and work through it as a couple? The reason this got so out of hand was that the BF knew that if he told his GF sooner the results will be the same. That admitting you are developing feing fir another MUST mean you never really loved the person you are will. Which is BS. Books and movies have given us this false unrealistic notion on love. But there is a real reason that fairytales end after the wedding. Cause the Happily Ever After is not romantic or even pretty. Are there some happily ever after marriages where the couple only ever had googly eyes for each other even after 60+ years together...Absolutely. They are exceptionally rare. So in order to make monogomy actually possible, a couple should be able to tell their partners when their eyes and heart start to wander without fear.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

Communication communication communication. It is 80% of the relationship. Everything else fits in the remaining 20%. Relationships are hard work. It's not always fun, but when you are working in harmony and are able to communicate and work through things-- that's just beautiful. I guarantee you, even those couples who are just Gaga for each other? Have issues they need to work through, and that takes communication, willingness to compromise, and commitment.

[@jakeand9020]

There is not a torcher sufficient enough for dear BIL/father, but I'd be happy to try finding one.

[@Tijggie82]

Oof, that last story was hard to listen to :(. Poor OP, that kind of experience can so mess up your brain...

[@mikilacunningham6259]

17:13 NTA Sweet heart I was 4 yrs old when my was R-ed & u where 6 yrs old when he was grooming u to believe u where a willing participant. @ 19yrs I realized I wasn't a willing participant in my assault when taking care of children because I was groomed to think it was ok "it's what gf & bfs do?🤔to make each other feel better, feel good 🤔".. I bet if u truly 🤔 on it u never got to experience bf's or even a curse's because he was always in the background watching & waiting to get u a lone punishment &/or mutilation? Ask urself these important questions... Because their good at making us feel like where doing something wrong to STOP it or feel guilty because we enjoyed our bodies be mutilated & violated. With the lack of understanding that these monsters have of how wrong they are but they don't care it's about their gratification the fact they can multiple u into silence 🤐 helps them find other victims. I bet if u think of it u can pin point the moment he started crossing lines a trusted father figure should never. And I think if u think on it he's was doing sexual things u didn't catch because u where a child that was witnessed or seen by an another adult but they did nothing... Please please therapist ASAP because u'll need to understand what when where why & how. & Possibly who knew because as woman w these types of past we tend to pick up on sling things....

[@selinesbeau]

I mean, I've found friend's spouses attractive, but I mentally put a big "Off Limits" sticker on them, constantly focused on how happy I was for my friend that they had just a great guy and never let it develop to the point of a crush.

[@celverdi8990]

Maybe I will have an unpopular opinion, but here it is. Crushes happen. Even when you are completely in love with your partner, especially if you are long term. I have been married for 20 years, but with my husband for longer. Crushes come and go, you can’t help it, it happens. However being open & truthful helps quash any issues that could arise. In fact we usually laugh about it latter, like “ Can you believe I thought like that?!” lol Marriage takes work and continued commitment especially after the happily ever after wedding. Happily married and looking forward to the next 20 years together.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 The boyfriend needs to drop the feelings and make more distance with his crush if he wants to keep OP. If he refuses, tell the friend and break up with him.

[@Latashaharris95]

Agreed op bf is ah she needs to leave her bf

[@pipv7809]

the 2nd story, they raised her since she was 6, and he didn't touch her till she was 18? why do I doubt this? The sister needs to know what happened. idgaf how bad it would make me feel, I would wanna know if my husband ever did something like this. I hope she has the courage to one day tell her sister that her husband is a disgusting creep.

[@hothotheat3000]

Wouldn’t be surprised if the best friend in story 1 knew what was up the whole time. Most people aren’t so dense that they can’t tell that someone is into them.

[@cynicalminion]

if i chuck a waffle-wrapped prawn on the barbie, do i get you and mark (and poppy, because DUH) here in my room telling me reddit stories??

[@dawnstone4424]

Good Morning Markee fans!(and Goodnight Markee!❤️and Markee fans far from me!)

[@Frey12]

S1 OP made a mistake. He was honest, and Best FRIEND made it clear nothing would happen. Very immature.

[@sugakookie7985]

First story I wonder if ex insta love came about due to bff's engagement, it wouldn't be the first time feelings of loss due to a change in status were confused for romantic feelings?

[@andrekerrison3367]

Gods.. that last story is just.. absolutely.. I just dont know. I cant find the right word to express how horrible it is.. this poor girl, taken into her sisters care at such a young age, and one of the people she trusted and put trust in would just take advantage in so disgusting a way. Such a hard story to listen to, and I felt sick for most of it. And the worst part is that this story is all too common in the world today. I cant help feeling such hateful and violent things towards not just the fiend in this story, but every single one of his cretinous, disgusting brethren. This poor girl.. what an absolute waste. Her whole life, perspective and perception of herself just ruined, possibly irreparably damaged. I hope this prick gets whats coming to him in the worst way. I hope it with every fibre of my being.

[@vanguardangel6912]

OP in the second story is way, WAY too hard on herself. OP, you’re NOT a failure. You are doing so well for yourself despite the horrific events you had to suffer. You are so much stronger than you realize. You are NOT to blame. That monster married to your sister is. And as someone who’s been on antidepressant for 15 years, they’re not addictive. They’ve honestly saved my life. But take your time. You’re in my thoughts.

[@Lillypop93]

I remember a family member tried to groom me for a short amount of time unfortunately I'd already had an experience at a younger age that opened my eyes to that side of the world. He came to the bathroom while I was showering the shower curtain fell and his words to me later are engrained in my mind forever "you shouldn't tell your dad about this he'd be mad" it's common for these people to make you afraid to speak out and make you feel guilty for what happens to you. I did talk to my dad about his behavior and my father told me not to make accusations cause he had a toddler and a baby. I 100% advocate against telling them the baby is his her being legally able to consent at the time will give him the ability to file for custody rights happens all the time most notably the cover up that has occurred in Hammond Louisiana by a rich man the chief of police and possibly the governor of the state. In that case she wasn't even legally able to consent they still gave him full custody of his child.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: Pretty sure the only reason he told OP is because he knew he would never be able to get with her If there was a chance (aka no fiancé) he would have tried I guarantee it

[@3333-e1d]

This is exactly why I won't entertain opposite sex friends with in a relationship.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Such a stupid reason to break up it was a superficial crush based off dead parents 😂

[@weeme5190]

I have the same problem with my sons father. My ex was extremely abusive who tried to kill me and him at 1 year old. Instead of lying to my son I let him know that families come in different shapes and sizes using some cartoons and shows as an example. Iron Giant has a single mum, rugrats chuckie has a single dad, land before time Littlefoot has grandparents etc. My son is autistic and 11 and he remembers 'the bad man' and thinks his father died saving us from the 'bad man'. I haven't corrected him and waiting to get him to see mental health team over his anxiety. I can't lie so I can't even pretend for him. He knows his family and now has good men in his life like my brothers, dad, Uncles and now my boyfriend. So he is not short of male role models.

[@franl155]

just too 'king angry to comment on the last story, except that she should tell her sister; what happens if he does it again to other children, or is already doing it to other children?

[@alyzu4755]

Seems like the trust is gone. OP will be paranoid for the rest of their relationship. Update: They've all behaved with a lot of maturity. It's a sad ending, but no one is the AH.

[@queenwilco3723]

OK I had a comment on the second story but decided to revise it after the update with full information. Thank you Markee for making sure those comments were put in. Too many women play games with men kids and paternity and ruin men and children's lives doing so which adds to the self ending rates of men and children. And while I was initially outraged at keeping the secret from everyone, the update and further info gave more context and this isn't that situation. However, op is still protecting her abuser and allowing the sister and their kids to be at risk by not telling them. At HAVE to quit lying to these kids though. Whether it be an affair situation or grooming/R the child will deal with more emotional pain with secrets and not knowing than to be told the truth and work through them young. The sister needs to know, period. Even if her reaction is initially to be mad at op she needs the truth. Was it a bad decision for op to go through with it? Absolutely, but she was manipulated and cannot bare full responsibility. Some yes because on some level she knew it was wrong and continued but only some. Many people have had attempts to be groomed fail and manage to not give into what the other person was attempting but he was an adult and took advantage of her inability to reason properly. Still, she now has a responsibility to let the family know the truth. The wife deserves to protect herself, her kids and other children around them

[@OGFritoHaze]

The first story just frustrated the shit out of me, it was a perfect case of the boyfriend doing exactly the right thing and over sensitivity trumping logic. He developed a crush a he thought would go away. When it didn't, or his feelings deepened he went to his girlfriend. It may sound like a long time but its really not, and proximity has a lot to do with that. A simple solution would've been for him to distance himself from the friend while they went to couples therapy. A man having to move ACROSS THE COUNTRY because his life exploded after being honest with his girlfried is a prime example of what turns some of us into savages. I don't know what would have happened if he kept his mouth shut but it couldn't possibly have a worse social impact on his life than what actually did happen. Smfh 🙄

[@cynicalminion]

1:57- nopenopenopenopeholyf**knope... if there's something, maybe? between someone WITH A COMMITTED PARTNER, you break THAT relationship off BEFORE starting a new one... 6:22- nah fam, girl KNEW, and now there's NO REASON to tell anybody why your ex isn't part of the social circle. your "friend" still has her bf and won't have to see YOUR ex anymore, so SHE is sitting pretty...

[@kuno3336]

I feel like with story 1, OP's BF is a polyamorous person and no one is cool with it. OP isn't, the commenters aren't, and even OP's BF isn't. And I find that really sad And, no, I'm not saying if he did anything he wouldn't have been cheating. But it is clear he had those strong feelings and wasn't in control of having the feelings. He controlled himself, though, and didn't act on them. I really hope OP's ex will be ok

[@catspawgardner3213]

I would dump the bf if he isn't into me but my friend then it's over. Glad her ex decided to leave both girls alone & leave.

[@seabreezeblank1513]

This is a song called Jessie's girl

[@mothmanlol6263]

6:48 the ex didn’t do the right thing though as he did act on it, he kept his feelings a secret for 4 months and during those 4 months initiated opportunities to hang out with the person he had feelings for multiple times Him not being successful doesn’t mean he didn’t act on his feelings it just means he has no game and the best friend doesn’t like him

[@Moonblade64]

What no. His friend said nothing really changed for those 4 months. He probably still cared about her and or wanted for things to seem normal within those 4 months to wait until those frels are gone but they never left. Which is why je did the adult thing and communicated it to his SO Not every story needs a bad guy and this story doesnt have one. Some things just dont work out and although things could have happened to remedy it, the party simply didnt want to. Thats all

[@mothmanlol6263]

@@Moonblade64 the adult thing to do is to communicate it to your significant other as soon as you notice it, decide whether you want to pursue that or not and then act accordingly with your decision ie not initiate opportunities to hang out with the person you’ve acknowledged you have feelings for because that will not suit your end goals if those goals are to maintain your current relationship

[@Moonblade64]

@@mothmanlol6263 but you see not everything in a relationship needs to be shared. If it was just his little man talking he could have tossed that aside in a week. So i dont blame him for dropping it the second he felt something. He could possibly wanted to soove it himself, shake off the feelings and move forward in the relationship without complicating things All im saying is NAH. Everyone handled things maturely. Even the boyfriend. He could have simply not told her and tried to cheat or drag the op along

[@oanaion4899]

It's been 8 years and he hasn't married you yet...you are a place holder sis. Leave.

[@gracelinnO3O]

I'm so sad ☹️

[@kyab2815]

With the story where the mom cheated with her sister Do not lie. He will be traumatized. He will never trust you again. He will become attached to this imaginary father. And one day he Will find out it's a lie. And it will feel like you killed his father in front of him because you gave him this man to love knowing it wasn't real. Then this father was taken away because you lied. It's awful, it's betrayal. Sincerely a girl who grew up with a lie for a father.

[@michaelcady1337]

Story 2: yeah you got groomed, but there is zero responsibility ever taken at any point. Not just for sleeping with the dude, which I only put a little bit of blame on you(10% you and the rest him). But I’m talking about never tellling you sister, never telling you son, and now you can’t even take your own medicine without your aunt giving you it? At what point will you take responsibility for anything?

[@sweetstacks3631]

The commenter who said OP "made choices, but he was much more in the wrong" made me really angry. They acknowledge grooming but then turn around and say OP "made choices"? Messed up.

[@starbird3939]

PSA with story 2 Antidepressants should help with your moods. If you feel like a zombie, than the medicine is not working.

[@clarehidalgo]

@@aduckofsomesort If you feel chronic fatigue from anti-depressants you should tell your doctor and not live feeling useless for months because "you just need more adjustment time"

[@lilmisskristy5467]

Story two: he was around her wver since she was CHILD, AND being groomed and probably worse done too her. Its not her fault he grkomed her, its his not hers.

[@simac8396]

ANTIDEPRESSANTS are not addictive.

[@Salazarsalsa]

12:53 Most of the people that "despise" stolen valor haven't served. Vast majority of service members frown upon it but don't leave angry comments on internet posts bc it isn't worth the time.

[@Only1199]

If it was me, I'd end the relationship, what if during steamy time, he ends up shouting the friend's name when he busts.

[@zarajones5428]

something that winds me up about reddit is everyone's constant need to push therapy onto people. Not everyone needs therapy and therapy is not good for everyone

[@TopazFire15]

Modern antidepressants are NOT addictive. Stopping them suddenly, however, will actually kill you. That’s why if you ever decide to stop taking them, please please please talk to your doctor and have them give you a schedule for tapering off safely.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one you’ve already wasted 8 years don’t waste another moment with this dude. Just move on…….they watching movies, dinner etc their basically dating wake up!

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Damn, didn't know I was dating all of my friends.

[@Aetriex]

Am I the only one that is upset that doctors put OP in a chemical straight jacket immediately? Like, bro, she is finally realizing that she was groomed by someone that she trusted and an insane amount of agency that she thought she had was found out to be an illusion. Of course she's angry. She is a victim and she is fucking pissed about it. How in the world is she supposed to work through those feelings and heal them when they are being covered up by drugs? Idk man, I just think we need to be okay with not being okay, especially when it comes to therapy. In therapy, REAL healing, that deep shit, the shit that cuts into your soul, it hurts a hell of a lot more before it starts to feel better. But that's just you getting all that festering dead flesh out. You need to go through that, to feel all of those emotions, accept them, and let yourself heal from them. Not hide from them through medication.

[@Sly_Successor34]

1st Story: In 2016, my sister and her boyfriend, "Todd" of 12yrs were friends with another couple, "Rick" & "Kerry" we'll call them. Well, Rick and Todd were coworkers and went to a convention in Las Vegas for their company. Rick ended up getting so drunk and "white boy wasted" he passed out in the bar. My sister's boyfriend, Todd, and another male coworker took the liberty of going through Rick's cell phone and found nudes of Kerry. Kerry was absolutely gorgeous and super sweet and I only met her twice. Well, my sister's boyfriend and the other guy forward Kerry's nudes to themselves to enjoy later at their leisure. My sister went through Todd's phone and found her best friend Kerry's naked pictures and FLIPPED thee fook OUT. Todd explained what happened in Vegas and how he had acquired the nudes. My sister was pissed but never told Kerry until....Kerry calls my sister and says confused & worryingly that Todd is messaging her inappropriate stuff on Facebook and asking her to come over to hang out since my sister was driving 5hrs down to visit us in Ohio and at least halfway into the trip. My sister turned right around, confronted Todd, and had to confess to Kerry that she's known Todd's been attracted to her for over a year now and about the pictures she found of her on his phone. Kerry's feelings were hurt & she & Rick quickly distanced themselves from them. They were all supposed to go to the beach again the next year but when my sister contacted Kerry to ask when she wanted the almost $300 deposit she and Rick had already put down towards the beach house, Kerry said "It's okay" and immediately blocked my sister. My sister said right after the one debacle Kerry told her she was no longer comfortable going anywhere with her & Todd and definitely wasn't going to be comfortable joining them at the beach. Kerry was hurt my sister knew about the pictures for so long but never said anything to her. My sister admitted she avoided telling Kerry cuz she was scared Kerry would be flattered and giddy and may start being flirtatious towards Todd's dumbass. But, nope! Actually The opposite happened. Sucks. Can't imagine losing my bff over something like that!

[@Rxanne28]

Okay. Story one is so weird. First off in a committed relationship it's supposed to be Op + Boyfriend. Not Op + Boyfriend + Friend(s). Second he just had feelings of this girl and they just break up? He didn't do anything with her except hangout with her. Now if they did do something I'd understand her breaking up with her boyfriend and distancing herself of her friend. That's just...there's got to be something more to this then that. 🤦‍♀️

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

Aunt telling a lie: Well... She isn't wrong for it but maybe don't use a soldier story?? You were groomed and thats horrible, brother in lae belongs in heck but Jonas was being very hurt by op lying and avoiding the question. Make up a name, have some dude write a few letters then leave it there or say he was a romantic drifter that had a heart a gold and a hand for art that died in a car crash or some stuff.....

[@ondank]

Jeez. Post 1 sucked. OPs bf communicates, reddit tells her its definitely the worst case scenario and it turns out OPs bf is actually a decent guy.

[@heatherdickau5335]

She needs to realize with DNA tests his father will be found out. Better now then later. Her anger is from her abuse from her son's father.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

He’s not SLY he’s disrespectful and abusive IMO. He’s intentionally hurting Op. by telling her this she will be hurt and he knows it. Why would he ask OP what to do? He needs therapy. Instead he continued to hang out with her. Dump his arse OP

[@canidcrazy]

Might want to consider adding content warnings to the start of videos and descriptions. The CSA was a bit of a side whack from a lorry 😑

[@jaybay272]

Second story the husband/groomer should be locked up. But y'all a 18 year old knows not to sleep with a married man and knows not to sleep with her sister's husband. So she is not guilt free. Don't cuddle a woman who sleeps with married men. Even if that married man is scum.