My Teacher Accused Me Of Weaponizing My Femininity After He REFUSED To Help r/Relationships

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Imagine allowing your favorite student abuse a girl, and when she's had enough, gaslight her into thinking she's the bad guy.

[@keplersdream901]

I don't believe this story is legit, but bullying and misogyny in schools are unfortunately common.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

@@keplersdream901 I am inclined to believe the story because I've seen teachers far more unbelievable myself. If I hadn't witnessed the event, I'd think it was from a real bad tv show

[@michaelwest2388]

I fully believe this, children are cruel especially those with toxic parents. Cruel children become bad adults. Proof this is true is all the karens, chads, and ambers out there.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@keplersdream901 Oh, it happens and with a frequency that would probably amaze you. Unfortunately, it usually ends with the victim getting in trouble as it's a "he said she said" situation and the bullies just get encouraged, especially if the bullies come from rich families. Many public schools do *nothing* about bullying until the victim snaps and hits back, then *they* get suspended for protecting themselves. Bullying, misogyny, and homophobia run rampant in many US public schools and the administrations do nothing.

[@femboy__bunny]

@@keplersdream901 yeah this happens a lot more than you think it happens. Especially in areas with lots of bigots

[@randomusername3873]

I love when people say "oh I hope you're happy now that he is being punished" as if you should feel bad Like yes, I'm happy? It was literally the point of what I was doing to have him have consequences?

[@JoshSweetvale]

Relieved. 75%ish of people are _sadists._ They make rape jokes, sneer racist screeds. Evil.

[@anikanele7958]

"You ruined Duncans perfect record" Boy, he isn´t going to prison, hes just missing out on school for a week :D

[@1911odisea]

Not saying that the dude didn't deserve it, but at least in my country that punishment is a pretty big deal, it can prevent you from getting to a top uni etc.

[@bunnyslippers191]

She didn't ruin Duncan's perfect record. He did that all by himself by bullying her.

[@bubblegum1366]

@@1911odisea OP doesn't seem to be American, but a lot of the commenters here will be, and here in the US it's considered pretty benign and most high schoolers have had at least one suspension. The reason he's been suspended (harassment on paper, I assume) might, but they're 15 which means they're in either year 1 or year 2 of high school and many universities don't even look at those here because there's almost a cultural expectation that kids will mess around at that age, so as long as you tighten up the last 2 years they'll give you a pass on the first 2.

[@sfsin3380]

The frustrating thing about authority figures like Mr. Smith is they refuse to understand that the black mark against the "Promising young man" is their fault not the victims. In trying to protect the "Promising young man" instead they allowed things to escalated to the point where the consequences are so much worst than if the bad behavior was dealt with when it should have been. Duncan should count himself lucky OP is nipping this in the bud when the consequences are still just a black mark on his school record because if his behavior was allowed to continue escalating he really could irreparably ruin his own life.

[@poetryqn]

@@1911odisea which is why it is the teacher's obligation to stop bullying before it gets out of hand. it isn't OP who 'ruined' Duncan's perfect record; that's on Mr.Smith for enabling Duncan's abusive behavior.

[@FormCreator]

"how dare you ruin this young man's life over him being a literal bigot" fuck that so hard

[@edwardbickford8277]

Man I felt bad for the dad who felt soup was too expensive. I'm glad that the other poster offered real assistance.

[@nikoking825]

I hate "you can't be bigoted about someone's religion" even when their religion is bigoted!

[@ParanormalEncyclopedia]

Also where you can't choose being gay people can and do change religions or choose not to be a bigot while still believing

[@maddy8328]

Agreed

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed! He has a right to believe whatever he wants, however stupid. He does not have the right to use his beliefs to bully another student. She is by no means prejudiced for defending herself from verbal harassment. In the same way that if she was harassing and bullying him for being Christian (absurd, I know, but for the sake of the argument) she would be in the wrong. It’s not about his beliefs. It’s about his actions.

[@jake8748]

@@thedestroyasystem considering that same religion also says to not judge as that's gods role, and to be kind and love thy neighbour, sounds like the classic only follow and adopt the parts that suit yourself. Ive got no issues with people believing in religions but can't stand the self righteous hypocrites.

[@photofreak56]

I once had good christians on my collage campus demand my exhibtion on how the local church was hurting homeless people because i dared to call the preist a fake man of god... Didn't help that they found I was was a member of tst....

[@HackiePuffs]

It’s always the bullies that teachers are like “you have to be patient it’s on you not them” when they act up but the second someone fights back you’re the one in trouble. And seriously?? Crying got OP in trouble?! I hate how people assume crying is a weapon to gain sympathy it’s NOT it’s a natural expression of emotion. Edit: yeah good boy my 🍑 Story 2: YTA. This is your responsibility as a parent to make your son understand your situation not on your SIL for doing something nice for you and your kid. The kid is actually excited to eat what she cooks and he really likes it. It’s a way for them to bond. Do you really wanna take that away because you’re struggling to parent??

[@brigidtheirish]

Yep. Hasn't changed since I was a kid. "Just ask them to stop and they will." "They want a reaction. If you ignore them, they'll stop." Absolute, complete *BULLSHIT.* Granted, if you don't respond to teasing from the start, they'll likely move on to a different target, but that won't work if you've reacted *even once.* I *tried* the "just ignore them" tactic. The other kids knew I'd react eventually, so would needle me *continuously* until I did something. Then they'd leave me alone for a while. Granted, I was a natural target because of my (at the time undiagnosed) ADHD and Asperger's. I barely understood human interaction and generally came across as unsettling. School is *horrible* because people *can't leave.* People naturally try to push away others who make them uncomfortable. If the source of discomfort doesn't leave, they push harder. And harder. Eventually, something's going to give and it's usually not the school.

[@Frightmarelordofthenightmares]

Crying can actually be a weapon for sympathy if its the bad guy playing the victim. Also I agree as a member of staff you need to help them immediately stop putting them in positions where the victims patience are constantly tested all the time. The victim is not gonna be patient forever.

[@Raaslen]

One of the biggest issues with bullying is that society as a whole still expects the victim to be the "bigger person", which usually just allows the bullying to go on

[@Frightmarelordofthenightmares]

@@Raaslen I agree and being the bigger person is overrated anyways. Whenever I hear be the bigger person I also hear: Let the bad guy do whatever they want to you. What if the bully goes to far and put the victim in the hospital?

[@badkitty4922]

I had two bullies in middle school/junior high. One boy, one girl. It was my first year in the new state and a public school. Because I had behavioral issues but, am intelligent, I was in a school geared towards kids like me with learning disabilities and behavior issues. So, although it was a specialized school with a tuition, it wasn't a fancy private school for kids whose parents are wealthy. Anyway, I had made a few friends but, got to know my Dean pretty well because of fights. My mom, Dean and I were working on how to navigate but, I finally reached my breaking point when the boy, who was huge compared to my 4',11" 89lbs little self, had used seats on the bus as leverage to raise both feet and kicked me in my back, sending me flying to the front of the bus smashing my head and face between the windshield and dashboard. I didn't feel it at first, I just had murder on my mind. So, yeah, I dragged him and threw his butt off the bus, then proceeded to beat the ever loving stuffing out of him. It was my Dean, speaking softly and talking me down, who got me to stop. So, I'm in the school Nurse's office (great lady!), with a serious head wound, bloody nose, whiplash, and two obvious boot prints on my back, while my Dean and my mom sat in another part of the office talking over what happened. I wasn't in trouble. Between my injuries and witnesses both on and off the bus, it was clear what happened and who started it. The boy and his mom was in a separate room in the Nurse's office with his mom. He was F'ed up, too, lol. He was all scraped up from hitting the asphalt when I threw him off the bus and I later found out that I'd broken his nose and knocked out a few of his adult teeth. I was a bloody mess, HE was a bloody mess, HE got suspended and I got sick time for the head lac, concussion, whiplash, and bruises on my face. It was a whole thing with a female police officer in the ER talking to me, taking pictures of my injuries, and by then the boot prints on my back had started to bruise so, they showed up beautifully, along with my banged up face. Long story short, his parents were on the hook for my medical bills and the fact they knew what he was doing and didn't stop it. Plus, we were minors so, his parents were responsible for his actions. He changed schools after that. I finally went back after healing up enough to attend in person. My Dean was SO AWESOME that, whatever two of my friends who were in my neighborhood and a few classes together, didn't bring for me, HE did, after school, on his own time, after going to each of my teachers and getting copies of classwork/homework assignments/and some notes that most teachers jotted down the important points for that days lessons. I loved that man like an uncle. This was in the 80s and my school already had a zero tolerance rule on bullying. Two weeks after I'm back to school, this girl and her 3 besties tried to jump me. I had a class with the main bish and she didn't like that although I'd missed so much school, I still aced an important test while she failed miserably. You'd think she'd know better since THE WHOLE SCHOOL knew what went down between me and the boy. Nope. They ALL still tried to jump me. It didn't go well for them. When I was done, and stopped myself from literally killing one of them, I took MYSELF to my Dean's office and said "It happened again. But you'll be proud to know I was able to stop myself this time." More parents, more suspensions for THEM and sick leave for me. More parents having to pay medical expenses and lawsuits because it was 4 bigger girls in higher grades attacking me, a small girl who was still healing from a previous attack. My Dean and a few teachers were on my and my parents side. Since the girls all came from affluent and wealthy families, and we were a blue collar family where both parents had to bust their butts to make ends meet, the Judge awarded ME AND my parents a huge sum of money from each set of parents of the girls. The money helped our family a lot and gave my parents enough to quit their jobs and create a nice business for themselves with plenty to fall back on. I got a special fund, tutor to help me in the one class I just COULDN'T perform well in(MATH! The BANE of my existence! Lol!) The best part was not only was I able to finish and graduate that school but, I ended up in the SAME brand new high school with pretty much everyone from my old school, as well as others from different schools so, word spread fast that I was really nice but, not afraid to F a mofo up if bullied/pushed far enough. Also, a few of the girls who jumped me got expelled for trying the same thing with a younger, smaller girl. Really??!! I mean REALLY?! None of them learned about what happened to them AND their parents when they went after ME, who was already the talk of the school from the FIRST attack. Smh. I don't really care about them. I'm much older now, and calmer/more logical than ruled by temper and emotions. Sorry so long. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk! Lol! Much Love!😂😂😘😘💖💖👍👍💪💪

[@GaiusGear]

I teared up at OP's papa's response. The fact that he loves her so much that he immediately jumped into defending her. I'm so glad she has loving fathers and that teacher is getting the boot. I hope they don't have to go through that again.

[@janiceandthomas]

I loved Papa's response too, and also how he highlighted that they are in a privileged situation and that others who aren't as well off and not at a private school would have harder time dealing with a situation like that. He's very thoughtful and empathetic 🙂

[@lindah3803]

Story 2: I'm dealing with a similar situation. My son is disabled. His disability check is a joke. The food stamps he gets from the are based off his disability check. Understand he doesn't even get $900 month. I frequent the food banks also. One thing that I do is a vegetable garden. I freeze and cann them. This helps stretch the food stamps. The USA is well known for its lack of care for disabled citizens and military. Of course those in power who dictate the amounts would never try to survive for 6 months on what my son is " given". It's pathetic.

[@lifewithoutstress2684]

Check with the food stamps website from your state, shopping at a farmers market will reimburse you up to a certain portion. Additionally some food banks will help pay your bills. Asking doesn’t hurt.

[@lindah3803]

@@lifewithoutstress2684 Thank you, appreciate it.

[@denisemadison1298]

Price checking and thinking about also help.....like 1 Roast can become multiple meals. Slices for cheap steaks, cubes for soups/stews, etc. I used to find that at least once a month, fresh salmon was cheaper than chicken...Buy a whole slab, slice into portions. Buy whole chickens (the cheapest option) and cut into sections for meal servings. The cheapest cut of meat can become soo tender it falls apart with a fork.....200 degrees for several hours while keeping it moist. Buy veggies when they lower the price for soon to expire and cook it, bag it, freeze it. A basic garden is great. I once had a garden 1' wide by 20' long....tomatoes, bell peppers, lettuce, etc. You can also pre cook and freeze for quick and easy meals......make BBQ chicken, cut portions and freeze....cut roasts into cubes, make a stew, bag and freeze.

[@lindah3803]

@@denisemadison1298 Yep,live by the sale ad's. Where do you live that salmon is cheaper than chicken. My goodness. When ever I find meat .99¢ or less I stock up. I break down roasts as well. I do what I can,no choice.

[@denisemadison1298]

@@lindah3803 I live in MS. A local store here will do a special sale usually every 2 weeks, one type of more expensive meat or another will cost about what chicken costs.

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: As a teacher, I felt enraged by this story, and if I knew about a colleague doing what Mr. Smith was doing I would go after his license. And Adam, I like Adam.

[@photofreak56]

Honestly I had teachers like mr. smith and nothng ever happend to them even when I showed that they we're bullying me online... Its just one of those things where you know this girl isn't ever going to trust a teacher again after this.

[@robertx8020]

@@photofreak56 Well, maybe in this case it might be different because something DID happen to the teacher! I just wonder if the bully still bullied her after this.

[@madelynmoses2061]

Hear hear! 👍

[@JoshSweetvale]

When you know for a fact the system will never punish them, the only recourse is to flee.

[@Saeiyu]

As someone whose parent is a teacher and have taught myself, I can tell you. Some teachers are downright Bullies. No matter your age. They suck and are a disgrace as teachers are the best people in the world. (At least 90% of the ones I met are awesome). I hate sexist teachers the most as they blatantly gaslight you and at that age, you have no power, sometimes even if you go to your parents. I am so happy Adam was there for her.

[@jas1007]

"You're being prejudiced by pointing out his prejudice." Sounds ridiculous but this is the world we live in.

[@tigerroselili5765]

It really is. You can’t call out anyone for shitty behaviour or else you’re bullying them and they’re now the victim.

[@FearMyLadyBits]

I regularly get called a racist for pointing out cultural appropriation or asking if videos of mysogyny (men stealing women's food/ forcing them to trade when they have larger protein portions or the men overseason their own plate) is a cultural problem in certain regions, as I've seen more than one video about it.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

Xtians have the BIGGEST victim complex.

[@karendaniel620]

Story 1: A promising young man mentality ruins girls' lives. Mr Smith could have talked to Duncan and supported OP long before this.

[@ynmonroe]

Yep. Remember that story several years ago where the "promising" Stanford student got caught raping a young woman, who was also a student, that was passed out? Judge gave him a slap on the wrist so as not to damage his future. It was and is sick.

[@fytrndm]

@@ynmonroe was it the "swimmer" kid? Because I was so mad at the father for his comment as well. I talked about it to my family and my uncle pretty much told me that if I do that, he'd let me rot in jail.

[@kitsumekat]

@@ynmonroe they literally have him in a law book. He's Brock "the r@pist" Thompson.

[@dashcash7852]

@@fytrndm Yes that was Rapist Brock Allen Turner of Bellbrook, Ohio

[@ynmonroe]

@@fytrndm Yep. That's the one. Though I am sure there are others, sadly.

[@PonderingStudent]

Story two is really sad. Dad is stuck between a rock and a hard place. It highlights that eating healthily is often more expensive than eating unhealthily. It certainly requires a lot more know-how to cook healthy food vs unhealthy on a budget, plus more time, space and cooking equipment - all things poorer households often just don't have. I really think that how to cook healthy, nutritious food on a low budget is something that should be taught at school and offered as free classes to low-income adults too. Some other steps like subsidised fresh/healthy foodstuffs for low income families would also help as well...as a society this is an issue we should be addressing.

[@MrAlwaysOnTen]

Not just that, it’s more time consuming to prepare healthier food. Box Mac and cheese takes how long? Vs 4 cheese Macaroni with pecorino or whatever the fuck

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA that teacher should be investigated and Duncan and his friends are all crappy pretty sure he's been doing it for long time.

[@riley6740]

The food story; I would ask the sister in law to help you make some of the food she’s making and have her go to the food pantry to shop and have her help you make things that are available to you. There are so many creative ways to make food taste great. Mostly spices. Spices make or break a dish.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I think that’s a good idea, and she might be able to help op with replacement ingredients for cheaper versions

[@huntresswane9947]

Story 2 hit me hard when I was 19 had two jobs and food stamps but sometimes it didn't stretch, obviously I made sure my brothers ate even if it meant that I didn't it can be a struggle to make sure you and your family eat.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The teacher is clearly out of line report him and tell your parents. Mr. Smith is out of line to speak to you that way, you are a child. He's an unfit teacher. I hope he doesn't have daughters. He's a misogynist.

[@christophermills7693]

as far as the misogynist is concerned, the way some women act these days give the rest of them a really bad name.

[@Flakey101]

Most people are missing the point on this one. This is a case of not misogony but religion. I do not think it matters if OP was a boy or girl, Mr Smith and the boy would both still pick on OP because she "lives in a family of sin". Same reason that Duncan is a good boy. Bet that is because they belong to the same religion, with the same narrow view points. You are right though he is unfit to be a teacher.

[@Flakey101]

@Gi Gi While I agree with all your other comments, you can not defend Amber Heard. She has been proven to lied multiple times with malice in court. She has set back women in difficulties in a big way, as proven by them using it in this case

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

@@christophermills7693 could say the same about men. Doesn't excuse sexism.

[@abbie_joan]

having female children probably wouldn't change his view some people disrespect women regardless of whether or not they have women in their life

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 3 - "...and won't let her kids go if (she and Hubs) can't also go." What a childish attitude! This woman sounds too immature to be raising kids in the first place!

[@MizTameRumors]

She wont let her children go to Disney if she can't? How insanely entitled and petty. While the kids are away with aunt the couple can go away together - which is cheaper and a real break..

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 2, no one's an asshole here. Sister in law is doing what she knows best: cooking nutritional and tasty foods. OP can't stop her for doing this every time his son is being looked after by her. OPs son, unfortunately, is getting a real taste of very good food. Frozen dinners and boxed Mac and Cheese isn't good enough for him. He's used to home cooked meals with OPs sister in law and doesn't understand why his dad can't do what his aunt does. OP is having a hard time with keeping a roof over his family's head that food is taking second place. He's probably trying his best to care for his son with the limited funds he has. Food banks only help you once a month in the majority of places. He's also a man so he can't get any other help from other resources meant for women and single mothers. I myself had a chance of having a "son" in my custody. My diabetes is the reason why I didn't take him. I'm on disability benefits right now. I was working at the time he was born but I would have had a hard time paying for rent and feeding him in Ottawa Ontario Canada. The rents back then would have been over 1000$ CDN dollars per month minimum for a 2 bedroom apartment and I was only making 1600$ gross every month. He would have been 2 when I would have had custody of him. At the amount I was making, I wouldn't have been able to pay for my meds, pay for rent, pay for food and pay for daycare. I had nobody to help me with taking care of him. This is why I feel bad for the father in this story. He's doing his best and I'm imagining how bad I would have to struggle if I had this boy with me. So yes, OP isn't the asshole here but neither is his brother or brother's wife an asshole. His son is eating home cooked meals and OP isn't able to do so like his brother's family.

[@TheVeggiekat]

Hi, just wanted to caution against assuming certain resources are only for women and/or single mothers. I used to work for the YWCA and often did community events where I tried explaining that even though we were historically the Young Women’s Christian Association that did not mean our current organization only offered services to women or Christians. While yes, I admit we did offer dormitory style homeless housing only to women and children (due to shared bathroom facilities in a historic building we were limited in that respect but the YMCA offered the same type of housing to only men and children for the same reason and they were located on the same block.) With that said, we did offer single family apartments in various locations throughout the city for families with two parents or with older kids. We just needed more people to apply. It was so frustrating giving someone an application and trying to get them to fill it out only to get told “You won’t approve it because I’m a man!” 😩 Of the men I was able to convince we didn’t discriminate based on gender, there were a couple I couldn’t approve for housing due to certain criminal convictions and the housing available at the time but I was able to help them get prescriptions paid for, childcare, food and toiletry items, and free school uniforms. Point is, even if you don’t think you qualify, ASK!

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

@@TheVeggiekat I know about YM/WCA. They do as much as possible. But this organization is an exception to the majority of drop in areas meant specifically for women. Most drop ins about child care are usually meant for single mothers and it is rare you'll see one that accepts men. I didn't know that the YWCA accepted men into the programs. Single fathers aren't as common as mothers but they're still there. These things aren't advertised as much as help for women. If men need help, we basically have to fend for ourselves. This is what society has made us men to be.

[@helenlewis2510]

The point op on story 2 was trying to make is that his kid will no longer eat the things he can afford to make and now the kid refuses to eat anything whenever he’s not at SIL’s house

[@lovelywolv]

Exactly! People are like you're trying to take away from the kid. No. He's asking her to make something he might be able to afford. That doesn't mean it's trash. She can make spaghetti and it could be a seasoning she added that made it absolutely delicious to him. Then op can buy that seasoning. She can afford to eat something different everyday and he can't. They barely have 50$ for food a week and if they don't have budget stores around they're SOL

[@HackiePuffs]

It’s on him to teach his kid that he can’t always have extravagant foods every day not on the SIL to stop doing something nice for him

[@alilove5384]

Yea I’m a single parent with one kid and I also receive around 200 a month in food stamps and I can most certainly manage to make a multitude of different things and that’s with me working full time and going to college full time. You can buy a lot of things like rice, beans, ect. In bulk and build from there. Eating a variety of good food on a budget is possible if the person doing the shopping and cooking is willing to expand their cooking knowledge beyond pasta and jarred sauce or boxed Mac and cheese.

[@Icalasari]

@@lovelywolv Yeah, some people don't quite get that, especially with recent inflation, it's sometimes cheap food or no rent, gas, etc. Very least, there was a severe lack of INFO requests

[@emanx222]

@@HackiePuffs that doesn't make any sense. If the kid is constantly going to the SIL's house where he's exposed to extravagant food regularly, how on earth is OP meant to teach his child not to expect it? I mean come on man, make sense at least. The only way the OP could possibly teach the kid would be for him to ban the kid from eating at Sil's House if he can't ask SIL to stop cooking such pricey food. SIL clearly doesn't even respect the OP enough to see where they're coming from and even low-key insulted them saying "we'll have to eat that too". I mean come onnnnn

[@1911odisea]

Story 1: Yeah, that teacher needs to be fired ASAP.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - That last comment kind of pissed me off a bit. Per OP's post, he gets about $48 a week for two people, 3 meals each, so 42 meals (breakfast, lunch AND dinner!) per week. At about a dollar per serving. Even if his son is in school with free lunches 4=5 days a week, that is not much relief. He needs to be painfully honest with SIL and ask her to help him figure ways to make things the kid will like with budget ingredients. Food banks can often be a joke - almost expired beets and lima beans and not anything fresh and no dairy (both of which can be very expensive, even on snap benefits). I have in the past and am currently going through this kind of struggle - as a newly retired and disabled woman. Meals on wheels cannot cater to my food allergies (five frozen foods a week) and SNAP won't allow rotiesserie chicken purchase, yet I have no working oven nor the physical ability to stand and cook. So frozen entrees, $1.25 cans of Chef Boyardee and some canned veg and fruits it is. PBJ sandwiches with bargain bread and no breakfast due to limited funds. I feel for OP and can see his valid points- NTA!

[@Digitalfairy]

Story 1 NTA and I'm a nonconformist catholic, I've dealt with false condescending teachers like that mysogynist Mr. Smith in elementary school that wouldn't do a thing about bullies. Methinks he just favors Duncan because he's also homophobic or because the oversized brat is privileged.

[@thedestroyasystem]

YOU’RE being prejudiced for not wanting to be verbally harassed in school? He can keep his “beliefs” to himself, or he can experience the consequences of bullying another student for something entirely out of their control. NTA and good on you for standing up for yourself. It was clever and it worked, so it’s all good in my book.

[@JoshSweetvale]

That is entirely dependant on who his boss is. Some people have the ability to hurt others. And he certainly has the motive to exercise that ability.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I feel the yta on story 2 are missing the point that the kid ISN'T EATING at all when back with the parent.

[@wmdkitty]

He'll eat if he's hungry enough. OP needs to expand his horizons and stop using money as an excuse to force his kid to eat crap.

[@VAMPYR_BLOOD17]

​@@wmdkitty he literally can't afford anything else? He spent most of his monthly budget on soup, if that doesn't say anything about his financial situation, i dunno what will

[@crisrodriguez5693]

Yes, but asking the SIL to change her cooking, when she's already helping him out big time, just isn't a solution. And if I was in that situation, I'd be scared to rock the boat.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

I'm wondering if Duncan is Mr. Smith's kid at this point

[@cnow82]

SIL in last story is a choosing beggar. And so selfish she is not allowing her kids to go. Inviting kids and assuming you get to go too is entitled. 🙄 and that comment that they should go too. So many Karens. So little time. 🤮

[@KE-hr4sb]

S3: NTA. Paying for two extra people is already really expensive. Paying for *four* extra? Doesn't matter if they think you can "afford it" or not, if you don't want to spend that much, that's your prerogative. Also, if I had been SIL and realized I misunderstood, I would have been hugely embarrassed and apologized, and then thanked you for taking the kids. I wouldn't sling around lose/lose ultimatums that either I go or they can't go either (that's a good way to get the trips to stop altogether). Your SIL is entitled and rude.

[@askreddit3021]

Unsafe environment. I’d call it a HOSTILE environment. I completely agree with you; get the parents to go to the school district. Thank heavens for a good principal at least.

[@ChrisAndCats]

Absolutely. The teacher was acting as one of the bullies.

[@MsTemptation]

The last story: NTA. It’s funny how the people who decided to have children they can’t afford always need a break from the children they chose to have. It’s was very gracious of you to take your nieces and nephew to Disneyland. You’re a wonderful aunt.

[@marshawargo7238]

I wonder Who told the children "mommy's not invited, so You're not going" & How it was said. How Selfish of the SIL! I've never been to Disney but when my daughters friend invited her to go, we said Yes & scraped extra spending money for her. Her 2 brothers, dad & I didn't whine or make her feel bad about going either. (It was in 1984)

[@WobblesandBean]

I truly hate that. I read a story about a DnD group where the wife of the couple who hosted it let their baby roam around the table, grabbing at people and screaming so much that it completely ruined the fun for everyone. AND REDDIT SAID OP WAS TA FOR NOT OFFERING TO PAY FOR BABYSITTING! AITA is a total Mommy Cult, and I hate it.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Not only a break from the kids, but it is always on others to babysit for free or pay for things. That is the part that always chapped my behind.

[@cupofcozy708]

If you aren't a parent yourself it would be hard to understand why parents need a break from their kids

[@DesertRainReads]

I would compromise and say, "Sure, you guys pay for your own tickets, we'll take care of accommodations and meals." so that way they know you're not a meal ticket.

[@dragoncub1988]

story 2 just hit close to home for me only I am in the position of the kid in this scenario. I'm used to eating a certain way since the nutrients and vitamins in my food are what I use to help me manage several mental and physical health issues I have. I recently ended up homeless, though, and living on a friend's couch while I work on getting myself back on my feet. Unfortunately my friend isn't that all well off either and lives on an extremely restricted budget so where food is concerned we can't keep me on the nutritional plan I am used to and now I feel like the progress I made with my health is fading fast. Hopefully I'll be able to find a job fast so I can fix the problem though

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Well, until you can get a job to improve your diet, you should at least try to get a daily multivitamin to use as a stopgap measure to at least maintain your health where it is and even improve it some. Obviously food is the best option in terms of bioavailability, but vitamins and supplements can help mitigate the issues and good ones can be fairly cheap (Target's generic 100-count for women is $5.) My dad has an issue that always comes back very quickly without his multivitamin. Even eating a diverse diet, he can't adequately get enough just from the food he eats unless he also wants to be round as a blimp to prevent a flare up.

[@Snowshowslow]

Have things improved for the two of you yet?

[@WobblesandBean]

I had a teacher like Mr. Smith. A guy in my high school sophomore history class kept snapping my br@ (youtube apparently won't let me say even THAT), but the teacher said it was my fault for wearing one. Uh....we all wore them?

[@Dannygoblin]

Omg wtf?? Why do I feel like if you didn’t wear a br@ he’d comment on that 💀

[@CurlyKirsty1999]

Peado vibes.

[@vampire9545]

NTA for food story. Her kid ISN'T EATING AT HOME. How's that helping?

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

Story 2 That food budget is ridiculous making OP and his son destitute.Why are they so poor? Is OP on disability himself and unable to work full time? Why can't he learn how to cook on low budget? Why aren't well off family keen on helping more in such a disastrous situation? There seems to be a lot left out in this story.

[@datbadassunicorn2832]

The school I went to used to punish me at school for reporting bullies.

[@MsJaymeC]

I want to give OP in the first story a huge hug! They don't think anything extraordinary happened, but I disagree. Every time bigotry and hatred are stopped, it is the best possible outcome anyone could hope for.

[@nataliebateman1151]

The sister sounds like such a kind and warm person

[@dakotasan8719]

That teacher would’ve been swallowing his teeth if it were my daughter being harassed

[@justingibson4111]

Adam sounds so lovely and supportive, I’m happy he’s in they’re a family together

[@RayneDust]

I'm going with NAH on story 2. The poor dad can't afford mac and cheese, and sister makes shit from scratch. The kid is now spoiled, and at 6 can't understand? It also sounds like the family is so privileged they don't understand.

[@ghostkat92]

Kid isn’t spoiled off homemade Mac n cheese. You can buy box Mac and cheese add to it and make it better. You can definitely cook better and more well rounded food on a budget. It’s takes more effort but it’s not hard.

[@Ravenishish]

​@@ghostkat92 so it sounds like his weekly food budget is about $50 for two people if that soup was a quarter of his weekly budget. That's a hair over a buck a meal. That's possible, but it's also not that easy especially if the kid is refusing to eat what is affordable. I'd love to know how you survive on $3 of food a day getting fresh fruits and veg in there. I'd probably only be eating fried rice at that point...

[@kskidspastor]

Mr Smith needs to be sacked. He’s a bully.

[@avencree]

As someone who will be entering the teaching field soon, teachers like this Mr. Smith make my blood boiled. I don’t understand how someone like that is allowed around children, let alone teaching them. I’m glad OP has a wonderful family and the bullying was dealt with, at least for now. “Can’t discriminate him based on his religion”? What the fuck is that?!? So this little shit can weaponize his religion but OP can’t react to it?? God I hope this guy takes a long walk off the shortest pier.

[@960027079]

For story 2: if you struggle to get fresh food and have SNAP benefits please note a lot of farmer's markets accept them so you can still access fresh food. Another option might be like a misfits box (mailed to you). The foods might be shaped differently but it's cheaper than store bought and is fresh too. There are also apps where you can type in the ingredients you have and it can suggest recipes.

[@honeypot8524]

Story 2: NTA, no one gave him actual advice they all just said he should be happy about it like WTF!! none of that helps him decide what to do

[@Davtwan]

You know what else is wrong according to the Bible? Harassing others. Funny how people like Duncan and “mega-church” members forget that one. The teacher’s argument of being tolerant to everyone is flimsy as wet toilet paper. Don’t tolerate the intolerant; they will not return the favor.

[@madelynmoses2061]

💥 Boom.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1: as a special education teacher and the mother of a LGBTQ kid, I would be furious if another teacher did this to my kid or any kid in my school.

[@cheskydivision]

I want to know if they dealt with the sexism also. Sure they got rid of that teacher but there is still at least a group of boys out there that feel they were given permission by a teacher to bully women.

[@sheenawarecki92]

Do people not realize part of why bullies are bullies is because they get away with this shit from people in charge? I got in trouble for standing up to my bullies but did anything happen to them? No

[@Zaddy-Lu]

When we were on foodstamps, we got $20 a week per person, which doesn't go very far. I can't imagine how much of a failure I would feel like if this situation happened to me. Not that anyone should feel bad for taking care of their kids as best as they can, and over 2/3 of kids in America are on government aid, so it's more common of an issue than most people think. Food banks are there to help people that need it, and most people also have a fundamental misunderstanding of how food banks work. Most let you come once or twice a month, but the food lasts 2 days if you're lucky. OP's son is lucky to have parents that care enough about him to take the time and effort to go to food banks.

[@BraveryWing26]

"I told him I would go RIGHT BACK TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE" GO 1st OP! AWESOME.

[@glynnisgibb5582]

What amazing fathers that girl has, she is blessed.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

Story 1. OP NTA. Can't believe Mr. Smith thought Duncan was a "good boy" and even defended him when all were talking in the principal's office. Instead of disciplining Duncan, mr smith was agreeing with Duncan's behaviour. Then Mr Smth has the gall to be mad at you for crying?? Glad principal is a woman and saw through Duncan's and mr Smith's BS. Totally agree with the comments saying tell your parents and tell principal what Mr. Smith said after the meeting and those people who are harassing you Update so glad you told your dads and they were supportive and actions were take and principal working with you guys instead of against. Hope things go better.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: NAH though I feel there was a better way to go about it but "see this as a gift"? No. He's deliberately starving himself because he's not getting everything ✨️fresh✨️ like he wants. If he keeps this up and Op has to take him to the doctor, it'll look like they're starving him and he could get taken away despite the fact that they _are_ feeding him, he's just being stubborn. SIL isn't required to make different food, but she could at least assist in helping him learn to accept that he can't always get what he wants and that starving himself as a form of protest can get people in _serious_ trouble since it's on _them_ to care for him. And shit _is_ getting expensive. I have to eat more fish for health reasons and a small bag of _frozen_ fish can get up to _$12_ alone forget getting it fresh, and that's at _Walmart_ don't even get me started on anywhere else.

[@shawnesmith5364]

Man I went to went to get a pack of chicken breast, and usually from Aldi it’ll be $9, it ended up being closer to $16-$17

[@shells500tutubo]

I think OP just needs to learn how to actually cook, not warm up food. And look for the weekly sales on those foods he thinks are too expensive. The convenience foods he is making aren't that cheap. He ought to spend some time with SIL learning how to cook with her ingredients, then use a few less expensive substitutions. It takes some time, yes, but learning to actually cook is a very useful skill in the long run.

[@rosystrawberry]

Yeah stuff is way too expensive. I have to make food for 4 people(including me.) For 1, doctors says he needs to eat more red meats. Meat, even chicken is getting expensive. I have another who is going through a "I don't like potatoes or anything that is a plant" phase. So that's super fun! /s And me and my mother is a diabetic so we can't eat a lot of pasta, grains and all that because medicine is too expensive. I lose no matter how I go. Someone is going to refuse to eat/not getting what they need. And that's not even including being time-poor. I work all day. And the kid can only make toast that camouflages in every pan and maybe, just maybe an egg. But I barely have time to make a nice dinner let alone a filling dinner. I almost fucking cried seeing bread, eggs, and milk and cereal being fucking over 20$. Not even the bare minimum is cheap anymore. Everything is too fucking expensive. That story hits hard and people saying "yta" clearly never went through having to skip meals to feed your family, work longer to make sure everyone eats, or just no one being able to eat at all even after you worked so hard but it's still not enough.

[@photofreak56]

As someone on foodstamps I am basicly vegitarian because just getting chicken legs at the local walmary is running close to 20 bucks...

[@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132]

@@shells500tutubo ingredients are difficult to get on food stamps

[@TheDarwinProject1]

The 2nd story: a good compromise would be to ask the aunt if she could make a weeks worth of the meals if OP chips in by purchasing some of the ingredients. That way both of them or just OPs kid can keep eating healthy all week long & their Snap can go further. I'm on food stamps & have ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, a common comorbidity of autism) & my SIL will make me banana bread muffins every so often to give me a healthier (& non soy) alternative to processed muffins. Several of my meds are more effective when taken with a fatty meal, so these muffins are the easiest way for me to get that during my med times.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

That, or SIL sit and have a conversation with OP. She really turned down OP quick when he tried to talk to her after asking for a meal change. Its sad she didn't seem to hear that OP was telling her the kid wouldn't eat 4 days out of the week. This had OP crying hes clearly stressed out as a single dad and his family doesn't seem to see it. I don't think they need to give him money, I think helping to teach him how to cook other cheep fresh meals might help a lot more then cash. Cooking together with SIL and his Son would be really benefiting for the son and OP.

[@arandomfan4710]

Story 2 breaks my heart. I think it's a NAH here situation if SIL doesn't want to eat what they eat that's fine. However i understand ops struggle and ultimately he wants what's best for his son.

[@tamsel814]

When there the kid just eats whatever Sil and her family eats. Allergies allowing I think it's good for kids to eat the same foods as the adults. Sil making a seperate dinner for the kid or changing their own food habits just seems unrealistic. Expecially when the kid currently gets free healthy meals 3 day's a week.

[@TailsFan]

​@@tamsel814 Yes, but apparently ONLY those three days, unless OP breaks the bank to try to give him the healthy food he will only eat now.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@tamsel814 The first meal OP was able to make the kid cost 12 dollars, a quarter of their food budget. I'm a little concerned that SIL didn't want to have a deeper conversation about that with OP. Why did she shut it down? Why isn't she worried that out of 4 days in a week the kid isn't eating?

[@threeducks157]

One of my business endeavors is owning 30% of shares of a private HS/middle school, we are have a quarterly review for all staff this is a parent/student review and we take it very seriously to avoid situations like op's we only had one situations like that and that teacher was dealt with in a swiftly manner.

[@kanelovec4315]

Story 2. I get the mom issue is facing. A picky eater is already hard to feed taking in the foodstamps and financial issues. This can lead to a cps call because a child not eating can get a call even if the kid has food has at home. My aunt faced the problem because my cousin wanted fast food everyday and refused anything else. Took him to a doctor's and it looked like they weren't feeding him. Even if they were giving him three meals a day. Aunt just had to get him fast food and just search for cheat taste a likes.

[@Arylwren1]

Dad, says at the start that he's 35m

[@dawnstone4424]

I am in no way trying to be snarky but it’s “dad” not mom. Just want to give a shout out to dads as the primary parent too!😀 And I don’t think OPs son is picky. He’s just enjoying the variety of “fancy” foods his auntie is serving.

[@RJLiams]

This doesn't sound like a case of picky eating. The kid mentions how he's having different foods at his aunt's place. If it was picky eating he'd be demanding the same thing everyone. It's more of a case where the child realized that the world of food isn't limited to tuna fish sandwiches. His tastes have expanded beyond what the dad can make. Which is sad when soup, a dish for centuries was considered peasant food, is too expensive to make.

[@nikkideede7972]

@@RJLiams he does ask for the same stuff. Doesn't like hotdogs anymore, wants sausages. I understand that it's good that he's trying other foods but food stamps won't be enough to create the dishes sil is making

[@Mamaaudri]

CPS should be trained better, then. Many toddlers and young children are picky eaters. Those idiots should know that.

[@AbiShumaker]

It’s NEVER your job to explain something or “help them understand” when you’re not comfortable in that situation. Especially now with the internet they are fully capable of looking on their own. People who really want to understand don’t tell you that you’re going to hell. I’m a queer teacher in a rural school and story 1 just infuriated me. I always keep a rainbow in my room. And even students that I don’t actively have for class are typically able to find their way to a truly safe place if they’re in a situation like that. Major props to the principal and the dads ❤️🌈

[@damien678]

"acting like amber heard and ruining a boy's life" his life isn't ruined (neither is johnny depp's) they're all just being little drama kings

[@Pikaman20008]

3:13 I’m not ashamed to admit I chuckled at hearing this. Justice feels so good, especially when delivered to major a-holes like that teacher

[@sablemoreno5095]

Story 3: nta, the precident is already set with E that you pay for the kids only. This allows the parents to take a trip of their own somewhere if they can afford it. (Ie going to a lake/beach, hiking or whatever) without the worry of paying for 4 people instead of just 2. Or they could have their break as "adult" fun time that would otherwise be restricted or unavailable with them watching the kids/paying for a sitter. If nothing else, just spend the days off chilling and lounging around doing nothing/things they don't get to while working. As much as I love going to the parks, it's EXHAUSTING and definitely not a rundown "break" place to go. Especially in summer. I went with family in like October November and it was still SO hot and draining (it felt like 90+ when it was like 70 with humidity), and 2 days in my feet were killing me. It's commendable that the Op and husband are willing to take on 3 hyperactive kids to that situation, considering I'm not even a kid anymore and I got very "mrawr" angry/overheated/exhausted most days, so no doubt the children will too.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

He tried to defend Duncan? Ruining a good boy's life? There's nothing to defend and Duncan is not a good boy. If you don't like someone, you can ignore them. You have to go out of your way and make an effort to bully them, even once. Consistently, there's no defense for that. It's a choice, and a bad one. Not only would I say the waterworks were not over the top, since it actually worked, it was justified. If a teacher refuses to do their job AND sides with the bully, go over their head.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 1- as a parent I will say, please come to us and tell us if something is wrong. I want to know if my child is being bullied so I can help them, it’s part of what you sign up for when you become a parent. I know as a bisexual woman who was bullied as a child I would personally have no problem going in and tearing a teacher a new one. Also, she didn’t ruin Duncan’s life, people think that freedom of speech means they can say whatever they want and not get in trouble but that’s not true. That teacher and Duncan both deserve punishment.

[@stormy8734]

In the last story NTA. OP should just tell the ESIL I'm sorry your kids will miss out on such a fun trip.

[@francinetitherington4060]

2) Dude, learn to cook. You'll be shocked at how good you can make simple food taste. Loved the poster that suggested taking the kid shopping with you and learn about ingredients and bugets.

[@pippo17173]

I'm noticing amber heard is being brought up a lot by really crappy people. This and the one story where op had to deal with the wrath of a christion dad and the flying monkie's brother and sister, really shows people don't understand why amber heard is getting shit on.

[@GraveyardMaiden]

Shitty people tend to do that. Like remember how a bunch of people were comparing quarantine to Nazi Germany, to those dip nips they're the victim in the situation

[@shells500tutubo]

I honestly knew nothing about Amber Heard, but I always liked Johnny Depp with his eccentric self. He seemed really chill. But after watching a TV program that was actually favorable to Depp, he did not come off as being any kind of victim. He's an older, well-experienced man in the ways of Hollywood and the entertainment industry, and Amber Heard has unfortunately learned that rarely do women in "the Industry" get a fair shake.

[@randomusername3873]

@@shells500tutubo ah yes, the woman that admitted to repeatedly hit her husband is a victim

[@middaydraws3379]

@@shells500tutubo Why should she get a fair shake when Johnny Depp isn't even her first victim. Her exs have come out and she's also admitted to abusing him. "I knew nothing" you still don't because if you did you'd know he was a victim. How are you going to look at Amber Heard who's exs, co-workers, employees, and family have come out in support of Depp and have stories of their own where Heard has abused them and go "She's a victim of the industry 😭😭😭😭" meanwhile Johnny's exes and more have come out showing he has never been abusive or violent with them. I hope going forward you actually listen to the court hearings and the proof that has been shown that Amber Heard is an abusive pos.

[@wmdkitty]

@@middaydraws3379 How much are you paid to spread this lie?

[@heathercontois4501]

Story 3- Do not back down! There is nothing wrong with you being Auntie Mame, but do not give in to the brat that is SIL. They can have a break, without costing you a dime.

[@cheskydivision]

You would think SIL would appreciate having alone time with hubby kids free or at least appreciate someone taking the kids for a trip for free.

[@theverdanthare]

Sitting down to relax and paint while listening to Mark

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

Story 3: beggars can’t be choosers

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA OP isn't obligated to take the parents. It was sister in laws assumption that SHE was invited. OP wanted to give them a break from the kids. Any parent would dream of that but she's focusing on Disney so isn't seeing the forest for the trees. OP has never offered to take anyone but the kids...and she knew that. Sounds like she just sees them as a meal ticket

[@stillvisibletoallusers]

Right?! I got annoyed at the commenter that said "she said she needed a break, not a break from her kids", well she didn't say she didn't need a break from them either. Just that they needed a break. More than reasonable to assume that she meant she needed a break from her normal responsibilities (kids). It's ridiculous to assume someone would pay for a family of 4 to go to Disney when the precedent has already been set that they only take the kids with them.

[@MGP2210]

Story 01 OP did in fact, w3ap0nize tears. But she had to fight dirty in that unfair stuation. Her real mistake was hiding this from her parents.

[@reddogf.1389]

i feel really bad for the dad in S #2. dude cried about hardly affording $12 and everybody finger wagged him down to "stop being lazy", budget better and should be thankful. the kids straight up not eating at his house. he could stand his ground and tell the kid "eat or don't." but then CPS might come bashing down his door for "starving" the kid. and spices, as everyone recommends, only goes so far. kid doesn't want instant ramen with some extra spices and a egg tossed in. he wants a bowl of ramen with fresh sliced pork, fresh cut veg, and slow home cooked broth. from scratch home cooked is, of course, always better and nicer then some can of ravioli, but you eat what you can afford. MAYBE he could ask the SIL to make lunches to take home for his kid. (could help him save money.) but there is the probability of her going "are you paying?" maybe he just didn't properly explain why he asked her to change the meals? otherwise kinda a dick move to go. "I'm not changing anything because your kid refuses to eat at home. sucks to suck for you." ANOTHER idea, is to help his child understand the cost through visual example. take your entire cash budget and go shopping with them. tell them you need to buy meals for every day and only have this much cash. allow the child to choose, then place cash on the item to show -this is how much that costs and we now have X left over-. keep going until you "run out of money". then tell the child "we still need food for X days and were out of money, what should we do?" it shows them how quick money goes and why they cant have everything. (course you could get that kid who just wants all $1 candy bars all day, but eh, its an idea for visual connection)

[@jamieemeagi7377]

Man said Amber Heard. 🙄🙄

[@jaimejones3177]

Story 3: Wow. I'm a single mom and I can't afford trips or vacations, but there have been several times that family has said..."We're doing this or that... does your son want to come?" I always gladly accept and I'm NEVER bothered by not going (other than not being there with him to see him enjoy it)...I would never expect anyone to take me or pay for me. I'm not talking like plane trips or things like that...I mean like a weekend at a theme park or a train ride to a big city to see the aquarium. I'm so happy he gets to do this stuff even though it's out of MY budget range. He comes home so happy and excited. At first he felt bad I was being "left behind" but I cleared that up quickly, and he had a blast. Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining about what you want.

[@grinningweirdo4888]

Story 1: as soon as the teacher said I hope your happy that’d have been me Knocking on the principles door

[@diddykitty746]

Usually I watch the older videos posted as I go about doing chores or drawing, but I saw the title and remembered the story and just had to hear it first :3

[@spockezri]

what adam said to that first op was so sweet i was tearing up for them both 😭💖

[@83gemm]

Makes me remember what my assistant principal said to me in junior high when I was getting beaten up every day by a group of girls. “They don’t act like this to anyone else. What do you think you could do to change how they feel about you?” To this day, a part of my brain thinks I deserved it. I know, I know, I’m just saying it’s there.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Your assistant principal was (and probably still is) an ass. Bullies, especially those who travel in roving packs of ignorance, don't need a reason to from their victim. They do it because they can and are allowed to get away with it by the very adults whose job is to address bad behavior. When these adults don't do their job, they make you a victim all over again. I'm sorry this is still in your head; I hope someday you can get past it.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Last story ultimatum is ridiculous. Like ultimatums are usually really bad, but this one is a double blade aiming towards the one giving it. Like OP wouldn’t be the one at fault for hurting the kids not being able to go, that’s on fault of the mother who demanded a free trip or her kids wouldn’t be able to go. That’s a choosing beggar entitled parent whose kids will hate if they can’t go on the trip because of her selfish behavior in trying to demand a free trip to someone who was trying to help her out

[@demonkitties9672]

....my brain hurts just for the first story...it's 2022 almost 2023 like seriously

[@_Tree_of_Life_]

How did this guy spend $12 on broccolli? A head of broccoli is 55p in the UK, is broccoli super rare over there or something?

[@drea4195]

I'm assuming there's more to the recipe than just a lot of broccoli -- perhaps it's broccoli cheese soup, you'd have to spend money on cheese, which is far from cheap.

[@user-ne1ei1ox6r]

I ran away from a DV situation with my 6 year old and we ended up in a homeless shelter for a while with no money or anything else. No cooking facilities or refrigeration either. I ended up buying a small slow cooker for €15 and dried peas, daal, beans and seasoning. Id make a stew every day and add a couple of fresh veg from a nearby market. I get how tough it is. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and figure it out. Hugs OP

[@Swnsasy]

Oh yea, I'm 45 and I'll cry every time Mufasa dies! I cried to when I was 7 and ET went home too!! The teacher is disgusting for what he said to a child like her fathers, the adults, life choices are her fault... What do they expect her to do about her fathers? That's what I would have asked. Ok , so what do you want me to do about it since I'm the child and they are the adults? I would have said it loud in class so he would be put on the spot!! Story 2: He's 6, so it's up to him to start looking at coupons, look up recipes to make bulk servings... You need to TEACH your son that money is tight and he will understand.. Don't hold back tears of emotion because he needs to see that.. The biggest thing, let him help!! Kids love feeling involved.

[@andrediamond4374]

Story 3: Soooo... they're struggling with money and instead of being grateful their kids get a once in a lifetime experience for free they...are mad they can't go along? I would think that them taking time off work to go to Disney would also negatively impact their finances, regardless of whether OP paid their way

[@Tyler171819]

Story 2 : A gentle YTA. I understand wanting to provide food that your child is used because you’re concerned about them not eating regularly at home ,and being ashamed that you can’t afford to give them all you want to. Kids are picky and the “Clean plate club” is a challenge. But consider this. If every-time your son came over, he was given cheap food while others ate fancy, don’t you think his feelings would be hurt? Kids aren’t dumb, if he loves her cooking and it suddenly changed, he may think his favorite aunt is mad at him. And I think it’s rude to try and force adults to eat something they don’t like in their own home.

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 2 - Why do I get a feeling SIL's privilege might be rubbing off on the kid? Taste is greatly influenced by perception and SIL reaction to eating just pasta and sauce might cause the son to turn his nose up too, even if SIL is not actively making comments disparaging "poor" cooking. My judgment is NAH, OP started off kind of on the defense but I think SIL is complicit in creating a problem for OP. Hoping OP can make up for it by trying new recipies.... maybe outright tricking their kid with things like "This is imported tuna from central Australia," or get a few new garnish/spices to sprinkle on things to make them special. Hey, get the kid to help cook or shop for food (give them the $ limit and let them pick a single fancy ingredient which you then cook with simple and cheap filler foods). I would also hope SIL avoids discussions about food quality or ingredients with the son. The story itself kind of breaks my heart hearing this parent desperate to feed their kid with what means they have but the kid not wanting to eat.... all the effort and love not being appreciated has to hurt even if it's coming from a kid who doesn't know better.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

If you make the early investment for spices cooking at home is actually very affordable. There's some things you can't cook on a budget like steak or fish but you'd be surprised how good you can eat for cheap.

[@HealthyObbsession]

You can buy spices at Dollar Tree for a $1 Just adding some paprika can really level up you or food It won’t break the bank OP even stated that it wasn’t fully due to budget but also his lack of knowledge of different ways to make food He stated that he just ate how he hate as a kid SIL watches her nephew for free 3 days a week along with feeding OP demanding she make different food shows how little OP cared about her time and effort she’s being giving for free It’s entitlement to demand his son eat differently it could also have a negative effect on the kid seeing how his cousins aunt and uncle eat the food he’s grown to love but then all of a sudden being given less good food while watching everyone else eat It would make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for their food and because I’m the poor relation I don’t deserve to eat with the family It would be so isolating and jarring for anyone

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@HealthyObbsession Except you're forgetting this is a single dad who is stressing out over his son not eating the 4 days of the week suddenly. And the one time he cooked something the son would eat cost him 12 dollars, a quarter of the food budget. He didn't demand he asked SIL, who then said no and changed the subject. Why did SIL change the subject? Why isn't she more worried about the Kid not eating 4 days out of the week despite food being put in front of him? I don't think SIL is an asshole, but OP didn't rudely tell her what to do he had asked her. She had all rights to turn it down but it seems odd she isn't concerned about the kid enough to have a deeper discussion on it.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@HealthyObbsession y'all keep making this argument but don't seem to understand that spices aren't the only thing in a meal. Fresh vegetables, fruits, meats, milks, and cheeses have all skyrocketed in price. If you're in poverty right now, the most affordable things to buy are pasta, jarred sauces, box mac, rice, and beans. A quarter of this man's food budget is $12. Sure, he can put spices in the food, but that's not what his son wants. It's not going to stop the kid from starving himself.

[@zerobolt9506]

Thank you, I was looking for a comment like yours, everyone just overlooked what SIL said.

[@jonstephenson9660]

Story 1: I’ve heard something here before that settles this story pretty clearly. If the truth about one’s conduct causes problems, the problem isn’t the truth, it’s the conduct.

[@RomeGod177]

Story 2: Dam, this hits close to home for myself. My family was like ops, single mother with 4 kids an so on. With wealth family memebers who looked down on us. I still can remember hearing my mother cry in the living room at night. Don't want to say more but I can understand ops an his son very well.

[@jeanipin3430]

Those 2 dads...freaking AWSOME lol love them Really would love a follow up on 2nd one, hope he connects with the commentor dad who offers help with his budget etc. What a lovely person and it is great to connect with like people, we can learn a lot from each other. Wish him the best

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, it is literally your teachers job, to teach and protect you. Him allowing other children to bully you , is a dereliction of his duty, no matter how much he likes the bully. But you do need to go back to the principal, now that Duncan and the teacher are sending other people (boys) after you.

[@iwantsifegold]

This is heart breaking food insecurity is a bit heart breaking.

[@jjr9792]

Story 3 - OP + Hubby = 100% NTA, and I hope they can see that. The SiL is being a huge, entitled AH here, and a choosing beggar to boot!

[@maxinemyers9215]

You have 2 wonderful dads💐

[@BenKonosky]

I hope op brought up Duncan's friends to the principal. ETA: good outcome.

[@mulqueen2023]

For me, thinking of Marley and Me gets the waterworks flowing in two seconds flat. I haven't seen the movie in years, but that scene is burned into my brain.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 3- I’m a mom to 3 kids and I would be absolutely thrilled if my sibling or parents wanted to take my kids to Disney. They get to have an awesome trip and my husband and I get to have some alone time? Win-win!

[@dm9078]

Teachers are some of the worst bullies in any school. Go to her dads and tell them what the hell is going on. Homemade Mac&Cheese is cheaper than box stuff. My mom worked for the food stamp department in our state for 31 years. One of the things she worked on was teaching people not to buy expensive pre-made stuff. Stuff that is not nearly as nutritious as homemade. NTA. SiL is an adult why should OP pay for an adult. But bro sounds willfully incompetent. Can’t handle a kid for a week? NTA if she wants to punish her kids like this she is a 100% TA!

[@yonghominale8884]

Not anymore as real cheese is expensive. The prepackaged cheese you can get in the super market is as fake as the stuff in in the box.

[@jessicawolfe5861]

The idea that being religious means you are not capable of being an awful homophobic or racist jerk is gaslighting. Being "religious" doesn't automatically make you a good human no matter how awful you.