My Worst Toilet Experience As a Trans Guy

[@retrojesse]

when i was younger i’d have men look at me and check the bathroom door and leave quite often. or they’d walk in and say “oh sorry!” then check the bathroom door and either leave or proceed to tell me that i was in the wrong bathroom. the funny part is i’m not trans. i’m cis male. i never had long hair, never dressed as a woman and never had feelings of being a woman. i guess i was just too gay to handle.

[@JanderVK]

My life as a goth boy...

[@kathryncumberland]

"Too gay to handle," lmao 🤣 Love that!

[@pungetello]

lol just goes to show, people don't need to try and police bathroom usage

[@koutashinji]

I feel like it's naturally easier to pass in a men's room because it's expected to keep your eyes to yourself. For anybody to be looking at you long enough to tell you're not a cis guy, they'd have to be breaking social norms themselves, first.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

That's not the experience I had, actually (maybe this depends on the country you live in, by the way)...men were either confused of me stepping inside and gave me those looks like "You know...the ladies room is the door to the right of this one?" or when I was inside and the only one at first and a man would pull open the door he would have this surprised and sometimes slightly shocked look on his face like "Hooold on....did I accidentally pick the wrong bathroom?" upon taking a few steps back to look at the icon just for some reassurance. For me that was like the moment to make the switch, and when I tried the female bathroom a couple of times I noticed how there were no looks or stares from anyone, so that was a whole of a lot easier and less uncomfortable. Men most definitely looked, let's just say that.

[@Scl45689]

@@Dutch3DMaster I'm not transgender so I can't comment on the experience, but I can say in the ladies room I'm always encountering women bringing in men or boys who they are caring for and needing to either keep an eye on whike they use the restroom or assist to use the restroom. I think sometimes the family restroom just isn't an option. Anyhow my whole point being I probably wouldn't even bat an eye at a man in the women's restroom unless he was actually being super creepy so I don't get all these people throwing fits about women being in the women's restroom because they are transgender. And all these stupid laws just seem to be a blow to transgender men and women and to caregivers who might need to bring a male (or female) into the restroom.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

@@Scl45689 True. I feel in The Netherlands the attitude towards this subject is also a whole lot less hostile. I can recall a political party in The Netherlands (and a very conservative one at that) introducing the proposition for a bathroom bill and basically the rest of the government was either laughing at them like "What the...are you serious? This is The Netherlands you know?" and others were like "Aaaw isn't it cute and predictable that it's them coming up with this kind of bullshit?" From what I have gathered and sensed from responses about this subject there is the inherent fear that the owners of a body that has a penis are (by societal views on male dominance and masculinity) automatically profiled as being sexual abusers, and the idea is that such a bathroom bill would enable people to "legally abuse people" because if they identify as a woman simply "because they feel like one" they can now enter the women's bathroom, completely negating the fact that it's already illegal to assault someone. It's probably a result of personal views, lack of education and the society someone lives in.

[@HAdams-bw4bq]

Oh yes, public bathrooms, everybody loves em...

[@James-jj2yo]

Misha o-o I hate them so much I just hold it until I get home

[@ElusiveLion741]

I won't even use the bathroom at school, I'll just hold it until I get home. Same goes for any other public bathroom

[@l0serk1d49]

Misha o-o i love your profile photo!! and yes oh goddd public bathrooms

[@origamiking]

wolfdude 123 & a proud ARMY since 2015 Me too, I would drink very minimally so I didn't need to go until I got home eek

[@ElusiveLion741]

oragamiking I didn't do that. I'd drink till i was no longer thirsty but even if I drank alot id still hold it

[@blahbdiblhdiblegh]

I'm not trans but I have a very noticeable and large scar on my upper body. Before it was fully healed I was just completely terrified of going outside (mostly because it looked like completely rank tbh) and I remember finding the courage to go out. Went to a theme park with like a large hoodie when it was 35 degrees in the shade. And the most crushing experience I ever had happened to me while I was queueing for a ride I had to take the hoodie off and a bunch of girls behind me saw me I will never ever forget the words that came out of this girls mouth: "WOW look at that scar! That's absolutely hideous. How can someone leave the house like that" and the eruption of laughter. I had never ever been so mortified in my life, I immediately left the theme park, it was such a horrible experience. It took me weeks to be able to even go to the shops near me. So I'd like to think I on some level understand the idea of being publicly humiliated, perhaps not to a point that trans persons feel. But I can say that after all this time, I still think about it, and I get like embarrassed all over again.

[@Kempster_K]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! People just are so hurtful without thinking or just looking for a reaction from people. What a jerky thing to say - as though a person can control their scars or would choose to have something visibly unpleasant on themselves.

[@Prof9299]

Oh hell no, I'd cuss them out of they said something like that to me or a friend. Also, for the record, I really like the look of scars as odd as it sounds xD I have some myself, and I think it just adds more character to a person

[@lloyddragon2036]

i'm so fucking sorry; i wish i could shove those girls down a sewer. you are beautiful no matter what and your scar is a sign of how strong you are. don't ever let people make you feel like you shouldn't go outside because of that, because you have the right to live your life and do whatever the fuck you want, and feel good about yourself. you are beautiful.

[@lloyddragon2036]

@@Prof9299 ikr same (even though mine are self inflicted so they shouldn't be there) but still i love the look of them it ads character and kind of makes someone look kind of badass. plus its aesthetically appealing to me bc i love the grunge aesthetic. (PSA don't self harm you don't deserve that pain and it only makes things worse)

[@literallyjustsans5916]

You should of turned around and said "at least I don't wear a mask of makeup all the time just to cover the fact I'm hideous" but sorry for what happened to you, but not only that, that scar will be there to show you that you are awesome and strong

[@nowisthetimeofmonsters]

Public bathrooms: one of the seven levels of hell! I'm FTM pre everything, but in the past year I've gotten so many odd looks using the women's room that I was kind of pushed into using the men's. I still fear being "found out" every time, so if I have to wait for a stall my go to move is *keep your head down, stare intensely at phone, don't speak, don't make eye contact*

[@andrewsmith211]

So basically you follow the rules of being in the men's room.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

If that's the looks you are getting, I'd say you are doing things right ;) . For me that was the switching point as well (also pre-hormone-stage back then), men would give looks or re-check they entered the right bathroom after seeing me while I was the only one already inside washing my hands or anything, and when I went to the women's bathroom: nothing.

[@imaginationlord]

Not to diminish the negative experienced many of us face, I wanted to share a few positive experiences to help people feel slightly more hopeful/less put off bathrooms. 1) I was at a play and in the interval me and an older man were looking for the toilets. A staff member ppinted us to them and I was about to go into the women's (I am pre-t and had been talking to him) but the man said 'Careful that's the girls', and I looked questioningly at him and he pointed at the gents and said 'this is for us' and I nearly cried 2) I was at a training day for work and we broke for lunch. I just thought 'I'm never going to see most of these people much' and just walked confidently went to the men's. I heard what I thought were confused mutterings behind me but when I came out and for the rest of the day no-one said anything! Of course bad experiences will happen, but don't lose hope that one day people won't care where you pee (or poo, though I feel people care more about that regardless of gender!)

[@paulsmith-fg5pv]

Experience #1 would make more sense to people reading this if you actually first clarified what direction you went in, apparently female to male? Because at first I thought male to female bc that's also plausible and the old man's reaction would be deemed negative, but then I realized you were sharing something positive so....we don't know what you are just from your avatar lmao

[@abigailveal2211]

paul smith Well he did say in parentheses he is pre-T aka pre-testosterone. A mtf person would say pre-E (pre-estrogen).

[@Kempster_K]

Oh man I love when people are ego-boosting heroes without even knowing it. That is so cute re: the older man.

[@lloyddragon2036]

this makes me feel so hopeful thank you

[@danielj.nickolas]

Your right, having to poop in a public restroom is WAY more problematic to me than who is using the bathroom. Also, based off of your stories, it seems like the world sees you as a guy, which you are, so why be surprised?

[@iviee.jonsson2462]

I think it's impressive that you passed as a boy even before knowing you were trans!

[@tracybaldwin1564]

I always knew I was a man, or boy if you will. But I didn’t have the understanding to fix it. I was born in 1967, so it wasn’t common knowledge like it is now. But I do remember being about 12, and knowing about GRS, and making plans to run away and fake my death and come back as a man. But I wasn’t able to make my transition a reality until after my kids grew up. But I lived as a man for most of my adult life, in my mind I wasn’t a lesbian. I just had a disability - being born without a penis. And that’s how I described myself most of my adult life. I finally got the courage to begin HRT in 2013. And I found Jamie’s channel a few years ago and have watched him to guide me through any issues I was having. I truly appreciate Jamie and Shaaba. And fortunately my wife of 20 years has been so supportive and encouraging. I now counsel young trans and non binary kids.

[@parallel4]

I did too lol. I mean, a lot of cis women with short hair who aren't wearing anything particularly feminine get sirred.

[@sijoule965]

Tracy Baldwin you?? Are like?? Super awesome?? 💗💗 Holy shit

[@tracybaldwin1564]

si joule aw thank you. 😁

[@felicityfoo6240]

I'm a cis girl but I tend to express myself more masculine and I wear loose clothing so I get mistaken as a boy a lot. I too have had people tell me I'm in the "wrong bathroom"

[@lightbreaksthrough]

When I was a kid I had a similar experience. I had just started going back to school after losing my hair during chemotherapy. On top of that, I was going through puberty and tried to hide my boobs in baggy clothes, because I was desperately uncomfortable with all the changes. While going to the girls bathroom I had a boy yell from across the quad that I was going into the wrong one. I was so enraged that I marched up to him and just started yelling how I would love to still look like a girl, that I'm sorry me having cancer makes everyone uncomfortable, and I just want to pee in peace. Now, as an adult, I don't understand why we don't have more gender neutral options.

[@hatersgoingstohateyae5127]

Samantha Wilcox Awh, I hope you’re fine now😢😊

[@lightbreaksthrough]

@@hatersgoingstohateyae5127 Been cancer free for 20 years. Thank you :D

[@annebutnotreally2209]

thats good to hear, also i agree. MORE GENDER NEUTRAL PUBLIC TOILETS

[@lloyddragon2036]

thats really sad i'm so sorry you went through that

[@MasumiSeike]

Because some teenage hormons can't keep things in pants sadly. Atleast in trains we fit that kind of non gender toilets.

[@Arthur-yf9yv]

So I just came out to my mum and I have no idea where else I can put this escaping monologue because I have no social media. She said she was going to check my Internet history and I panicked because it's 99% trans stuff. If I deleted it all it would look really suspicious and like I had something really bad to hide. So I decided to search 'I know' 'I've been searching' 'weird stuff' 'I can explain' 'I'm a boy' 'lol' and then screen shot it and send it to her followed by a link to the song 'I'm coming out'. ...problem is she fixated over having to Google 'ecosia' like mum it's just the browser I use calm down it's not going to bite you. Then we just had a long chat about how I feel and what the steps forward might be. I was shaking and curled upon the bed with her for most of it. Over all she was very accepting and supportive and I feel really happy with how it went. I feel like I'll probably bring up name and pronouns later, so I don't freak her out too much at half past midnight. I'm quite fond of the name she was going to give me if I was born right, so that's gonna be fine. TL;DR I came out to my mum in a really awkward way and she was accepting. Saving name and pronouns talk for later to avoid confusion. Really happy.

[@katojrgensenleonhardsen3467]

Artie person guy aaaaaaaa I’m so happy for you! Congratulations! 🎉❤️ Good luck onwards bro

[@imiburrell5694]

I'm so happy for you!!!

[@bratatouille]

Yay! Congrats! You just made my day :)

[@Kempster_K]

Congratulations!! Yay for mum doing coming along despite the rocky start! She surely just worries for you.

[@astrosship391]

Artie person guy congrats I want to come out to my mom as ftm but, I'm a little scared because my mom thinks that all girls should be girly and I turned out to be this tomboyish geek who loves ties and bowties and button up shirts with bage pants. And she always would call me sweet girl or mommy's little girl (calm down I'm about to turn 11 but that's not the point) so when I was 7 I tried to pee standing up and then I looked down and said "oh that's not right" then when I turned 8 I got a tablet so I started looking up what it ment to feel like your the wrong gender and the term that came up was transgender or trans what ever you teenagers call it. Anyways uhh after that I cried every night for that year and I just cried and cried myself to sleep because I just couldn't except the fact that I might be transgender. But I didn't know until I was about 9 in a a half that not excepting it was why I was crying that whole time my heart knew it was right but my brain chose not to. I'm now ten and it's Sunday and tommorow I'm planning to come out to one of my best friend fried rice no jk jk I'm planing to come out to my friend myrical I feel that she would except me because me and her just connected on the first day we met and she always saw me as more of a tomboy than a girly girl But yeah that's it I'm happy for you and I hope that every thing you hope to happen happens for you.

[@jiebirkby2833]

In spain they have gender natural toilets specifically for children and I think it’s great for if a kids questioning there gender or is trans gender and it just made me smile

[@rybur98]

i had a similar experience when i went to the bathroom during a concert. i was out as trans but i didn't think i passed quite enough to use the men's room so i went in the women's room. there was a huge line, and the entire time i was waiting i just noticed people looking at me up and down. i know it doesn't seem like a big deal from an outside perspective but it's frustrating because people don't technically want trans people to use the bathroom they feel comfortable in, but the second you step into the bathroom for your assigned sex they're like "wait." also, don't get me wrong, i love passing, but it gets a bit complicated when you're just trying to pee.

[@lloyddragon2036]

IKR like why do people have to judge people so much they're so paranoid like what about non binary people trying to pee? what do they do? smh why can't bathrooms just not be gendered it would solve all these problems

[@elijahelkwood5459]

A similar thing happened to me but it was actually at s public pool? After we were done swimming, my sister made me go into the changing rooms (even though I desperately begged to go home in my swimsuit), and I was wearing a shirt and shorts (pre-T ftm) and when I walked in this woman gave me this look of disgust and I swear to god pulled her child a bit closer. She stopped her entire conversation with another woman just to do this. I felt so fucking humiliated and straight up went to change in the bathroom stalls and ended up crying in there. I was like 13 at the time and I was just so anxious and humiliated all at the same time.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

For me, it felt weird to go into the women's bathroom when I was young (for instance at a camping site when the male bathroom was being cleaned) because I was afraid it would "prove everything" towards people around me (even though I did not know yet I was transgender at that time), while my brother was like "Dude, it's a bathroom, just go pee..." and this is camping in countries that I only know as being practically careless when it comes to sporadically choosing the different bathroom. (That said, I must place a sidenote, I am not sure how it would have been if I would have been older at that time, or have gone through boy puberty at that time already, it might have been different.)

[@samanthageorge4531]

I think we need female toilets, male toilets and Gender neutral toilets. Everyone would be able to find a toilet or two that they could use and feel safe in doing so..

[@Redaxelldo93]

I relate to this so bad! 😩 I’ve had plenty of bad experiences in public toilets and changing rooms. Looks and whispers etcetera, especially in changing rooms. I remember one time that was particularly awful. I could hear a woman and a child (mother and daughter or something like that) talking quite loudly inside the women’s changing room and when I walked in I felt how the entire atmosphere changed and the woman became silent. I tried to ignore her but I could just feel how she looked at me and when the child asked “What’s wrong?” she just said “Wait a little” while intensely watching me take my clothes of. It wasn’t until I was standing in my undies that she stopped staring at me and started to talk with the child again. It was so humiliating! 😑 I never stare at people when they’re changing, but people stare at me for some reason! And then they dare say that transgender people only walk into women’s changing rooms to stare at women. BS! TLDR; A cisgendered woman stared at me, a non binary person, while I was changing just to make sure that my body fit her image of who should be allowed into which changing room. Super creepy and humiliating.

[@kitwarrior4life124]

They’re like “trans people are creeps who are coming in to watch your kids” but it’s like, dude, some trans people are straight, and some cis people are gay, but they get to change in the changing rooms while trans people get to change in the hallways. Wtf.

[@Noggo]

same thing has happened to me a lot of times. well, except from the teacher part. I'm a 16 year old Trans guy and I'm not allowed to take hormones or have surgery until I'm 18, so all I have right now is a binder and short hair. I'm not allowed to use the mens restrooms or dressingrooms so I have to stick with the womens, which not only makes me uncomfortable, but everyone in that restroom or dressingroom aswell. I didn't know this until a couple of months ago, but apparently I do pass very well as a guy. There was this one person that took the train with me every morning for a little more than a year that I spoke to quite often. I never told him I was transgender, and until my friend make a comment about it, he didn't know. he kinda just gave me a very confused look and later explained that he had no idea. anyway, that explained, there is one specific event that is extremely clear in my mind. when I started highschool (4 months ago) I was put in a class with no girls at all, which is fine, I don't really care, but when we have PE... the place where we have PE is a public place not owned by our school, so other schools and anyone over the age of 18 can use it. me being the only one in my class who has to use the womens room, I feel pretty awkward going in there, looking like what I do. everytime i go in there and there is already a group from another school, I just get tons of glares sent my way. sometimes, I'm lucky to be the only one there or in this case, the first to get there. I got in there, everything was empty, I didn't feel awkward at all and started to change my regular outfit for my sportswear, once I was almost finnished I heard the door creak open, and in the doorway stood a group of very confused girls with the look of fear in their face. they shut the door really loudly and I could hear them walk away extremely fast and they talked to eachother like they hadn't been more scared in their life. when I got out of the dressingroom my friend just stood there, he had aparently waited for me and witnessed everything, and he couldn't stop laughing. so that was fun also, sorry this comment is so complicated those who actually read this, thank you for not making me feel like I've waisted my time

[@honeybee8813]

I went into the female toilets (I’m ftm) to get a tissue bc I had a cold. I didn’t really look like a guy unless you briefly looked at me. Anyways, I went out and an older lady was going in. Me being the anxious person I was, I muttered sorry and tried to go past her. She lightly grabbed my arm and LOUDLY said to her son (or whatever) “THERES A GUY IN THE GIRLS TOILETS” and my heart just dropped. I then explained that I’m trans and I couldn’t go into the guys toilets bc I was scared. Her son then took me into the guys toilets (I didn’t have the guts to say that I didn’t need to go) so yeah. That’s my story I guess

[@catcrab3429]

I had something similar happen with the first job I had after coming out as transgender. I haven't been able to start hormones because I became homeless for a bit shortly after coming out (medical bills ugh). Any time I used the girls bathroom (normally when period things), I had customers do that "looks at you, looks at door" motion, and tell someone a guy is in the girl's bathroom... But when I would use the men's bathroom, I would get harassed... So then I started using the Family restroom, in which parents with boys and girls club children who needed to change a diaper would get upset seeing a single "able bodied" person using the family bathroom. This conundrum of "what bathroom do I use?!" went on for about 10 months of working there... And I didn't want customers complaining about me. Finally, one of my male co-workers asked me what was wrong one day when I was trying to hold my pee, and I explained the problem... To which his response surprised the hell out of me: "I'm surprised none of the managers have told you about the employee bathrooms in the back room. They are single stalled, so you can use the men's single stall back there... Then you wouldn't have to worry about customer complaints and confusions." I asked the managers why they didn't inform me of those bathrooms before, and they said that they thought I already knew about them... I don't work in the backroom, and rarely had to go back there, so I was confused why they would think I knew about them? I'm now dating a guy (very happily) who has helped to improve my public toilet confidence. Though I still mostly use family restrooms / hold it until I get home when running errands. I figured I'll feel more comfortable using the men's room once I am able to afford starting HRT.

[@aj_boi5060]

every god damn time i go to the bathroom somebody tells me "um sir this is the girls bathroom" and one time at a school dance i went to the bathroom (female) and a bunch of girls where in there and screamed and ran out got the principal and i explained to him i just needed to pee and he said be more careful? wtf does that mean

[@mikuenjoyerXD]

Ugh omg im sorry

[@kaydenmarlow2674]

Are you a trans guy or girl?

[@sillaysponge]

I’m in an awkward stage in my transition where sometimes I pass as male and sometimes I don’t, so using public toilets is a nightmare. Do I go into the girls and get awkward stares or go into the guys and feel out of place ??

[@alextomes6732]

Sonictrashh • I just hold it till I find a “family” one and go there. Most public places have em. Some places have added a “gender neutral” one as well. I feel ya mate, good luck on your transition.

[@sillaysponge]

Alex Tomes thanks

[@gnarls4480]

Family toilets or single. Hope your out of that stage now a year later.

[@samhainlegge9563]

From what I’ve heard, guys don’t tend to stare as much, so you’re less likely to be noticed in a boy’s bathroom.

[@ianlucas6635]

@@samhainlegge9563 From context I can see you are MtF, and honestly I think you should either do girls or gender neutral/family, if you don't feel like a man, then the first step is not being a man (I think idk im not trans).

[@randomperson8632]

I remember one time in second grade I was accused of being a boy in a girls bathroom (I am a girl) So when I was small, I'd always tie my hair back to a braid or pony tail and wear boy clothing. I didn't see anything wrong with it though. So one time I went into the girl's bathroom where there were a few girls waiting for a toilet to be open. Then one girl comes up to me, (I was taller than most of the girls there) she looks up and asks me, "Are you a boy?" And I replied, "No." She was stuck for a moment, looked at her friend, looked at the other girls who suddenly went quiet, looked back at me and said, "Oh...." And walked out. I wasn't really embarrassed, nor did I care, but I'm pretty sure I scared some of those girls.

[@lloyddragon2036]

thats so dumb; people really do judge based on appearances and its quite stupid. i'm sorry but if the way someone is being themselves makes people "uncomfortable", that is 100% on them not the person just trying to live their life. thats like saying handicapped people make you feel uncomfortable. even if someone makes you uncomfortable by being themselves, suck it up and be respectful. its not that hard.

[@usele22_reptile69]

Ah dude I feel ya 😅 I'm not trans (I'm a girl) but I have short hair and wear "boys' " clothes so I guess that's enough to pass a a guy, and I was walking out of the toilets at a service station and accidentally made eye contact with a kid waiting outside, and he raised his eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking 😓. I always get weird looks in public toilets, too (that might also be me being anxious, socially inept and misinterpreting stuff lol).

[@milenkomoloko]

Very Snazzy once some one called me fat for going into the girls washroom cuz I have short hair and I wear guy clothes

[@usele22_reptile69]

Galaxy Kat Ok that makes much more sense

[@usele22_reptile69]

Galaxy Kat Oof

[@kerplunk2100]

Just the stares man... toilets are stupid

[@Rowe_Ti]

i feel ya

[@mystarsignisleo]

I had a similar situation the other day. I was with all my female friends in the girls toilets and they were getting changed but I was waiting outside the stalls and an old woman came in and went "this is the ladies" and I had to say "I'm a girl" then she went "beg your pardon?" Looked me up and down and said "that's different isn't it" lmao my friends were all laughing and I just... Died inside

[@copingwithbehcets]

I've never understood the bathroom drama. I was born female, identify as female, and still wouldn't panic if I walked into the bathroom and a male was in there. I may double check the door, simply because I don't pee in urinals, but it wouldn't phase me, and never would have. When I was a teen going to look at colleges, it was 4am, and my dad and I stopped at a rest area. (We were on a long drive to Boston from upstate New York.) Anyhow, I walk into the male bathroom, and there are like 6 truck drivers peeing. They look at me, I look at them, and look back at the door, and realize I'd walked into the wrong bathroom. Now I'm often using my wheelchair, and so I find myself using gender neutral restrooms a lot, if the women's room doesn't have a disabled stall. Why do we as a society make it such huge deal? If you've got disabled folks using gender neutral restrooms, I think the rest of society can take a giant deep breath and relax. Sorry that happened to you, because it's so messed up. I don't care what equipment someone has. Everybody pees, and everybody poops. Some people go more often than others, but we all go. People should be allowed to use the restroom they want to use, hell, we'd have shorter bathroom lines ladies! I don't think it's fair to put stigma on folks to "pass" in order to use the restroom they're comfortable with. I have friends who are non-gender conforming, and one legitimately can switch up her look day to day if she wants, and "pass" as male or female. She just doesn't care one way or the other. (She uses female pronouns just to be clear.) It's pee and poo folks. Let's not make it a huge issue.

[@LeonardDomingues]

I know I am trans and I still have to use women's toilets because my parents aren't really very accepting. The same thing happened to me I was out with my family and some of my family I wasn't out to were in the men's toilets and all of my family were in the loo already. I went to go to the women's room cos I really needed to pee anyway there was a woman outside and she shouted "erm excuse me, that's the wrong toilet the gent's is over there" so I started freaking out like what do I do in this situation so I kind of just made a lot of weird noises and walked into the women's. And earlier today I was out with all of my friends and I needed to use the loo. All of the cubicles we're full in the women's room, so I had to wait until someone finished, and the cleaner came in properly stared me down and then left. I am 14 and constantly get all these people take double takes if they are in the right bathroom and so obviously talk about you. I hate this and it makes me feel so shitty.

[@AmyLovesYou]

I would look up your local laws and see whether or not you have the right to use the male restrooms. If you do, then do it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't. You can.

[@Devende5]

I just stopped to say I am so sorry this is your experience and your family is not supportive. I can't even begin to imagine the trauma and drama of trying to use a public toilet in this situation. Love, support, and good vibes your way.

[@sawsan3611]

The one person who disliked this is that girl who called the teacher on you😂😂

[@JewelKnightJess]

Before I started going out as 'me' and I had to use the mens loos, I *always* used cubicles. If one wasn't available I'd leave and find another facility because I just couldn't bring myself to use a urinal at all. At least in a cubicle it was private... the worst are those urinals that aren't even separate, but it's like a big freakin' trough and it's absolutely gross >_< Bathroom dysphoria was so hard to deal with. Even now I try to avoid going to public loos but thankfully I've not had any bad experiences since I went full-time :)

[@amyysshort]

I have a trans female friend who was the same!💖

[@cometcatgaming-vlogs-more8459]

@Fleur Laser It most means the discomfort someone gets when they have to go into the bathroom that doesn't fit their identity. It's very uncomfortable, and just awkward

[@AmyLovesYou]

I was terrified to go in the girls restrooms at first. It took me all my mental might to just force myself to walk through those doors. Now, I don't even feel the least bit of shame. If anyone has an issue with me being there, they can bugger off. I'm not going into the boys restrooms. Nope, nope, nope! This is where I belong, and if you don't like it, too bad so sad.

[@iniziogatti683]

good for you, 100% agree.

[@somersks7221]

youre not a girl and never will be one, so you're inflicting sexua harassment on girls by using their toilets

[@AmyLovesYou]

Don't talk about harassment when you do it yourself.

[@lloyddragon2036]

amen

[@lloyddragon2036]

thank you so much; your confidence is an inspiration to us all

[@InterNut007]

I was 16 in high school and wore “boys” clothes and beanies...EVEN when I had long hair and I do mean LONG HAIR....I got mistaken for a boy...not that I minded (I actually kind of liked it) but I was walking into the girls bathroom but I had to walk PAST the guys bathroom first....and a teacher was so baffled when she looked at me...so I looked back at her with her shocked face and raised both my eyebrows in kind of a “yeahhhhhhh” look....she seemed embarrassed...oh well...I gotta pee lady...if the guys bathroom isn’t crowded and nasty I’d use that if the girls was full because I know I can pass as a boy OR a girl....screw people though like I just gotta pee don’t worry about it

[@sophiag.7150]

What I really don't get is that some people who argue very vehemently for the continuing existence of gendered bathrooms, are the same people who proceed to piss into a public flowerpot at the next party. I would much prefer not to witness an event like that but I really don't mind people of any gender peeing in the stall next to mine.

[@goncharov000]

I'm a pretty masculine-looking lesbian myself, and although I'm cisgender, I've had people look at me pretty weirdly in public bathrooms. One time a girl walked in, saw me, and walked out... basically what happened to you, except without the awkward confrontation. Every time I go to the women's bathroom I'm a little afraid someone's gonna think I'm in the wrong bathroom, but I'm sure the same thing would happen if I went to the men's. I wish people wouldn't assume a person to be a pervert unless said person was actively doing something creepy. (Washing ones hands doesn't count as creepy btw.) But most importantly, all bathrooms should have those stalls that are basically a small room instead of half-walls. With the added privacy, maybe we wouldn't be as opposed to the idea of gender-neutral bathrooms... and they're just better overall; nobody likes having to do their business while a stranger in the next stall rips a huge fart and a toddler peers through the gap in the door.

[@pamelaJoyce384]

First off, hair looking fantastic. Thanks for sharing that experience. I so don't get the issue with bathroom's. In my going out, partying and going to concerts days I've used many a mens room. Damn, I've even had Gentlemen say hello, gotta go, huh! Womens rooms have que's miles long and when you gotta go ya gotta go. I've also had guys walk into Womens rooms when I've been in there. We all have the same bodily functions. I'm not looking at peoples junk and they aren't there to bother me or look at mine. I'm just really chill about stuff. Live and let live. I know your words have comforted someone out there. xoxo P.S. I am in no way underplaying your experience. I just want Trans people to know that not all Cis people are assholes about that.

[@pamelaJoyce384]

Edgelord , exactly. I always feel like it's a fringe group you hear about on the news making isuues about it. Assholes make the loudest noise. Lord, in this day and age we have bigger, real worries other than where someone pees!

[@HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo]

For the last two years or so, I haven't passed as a man or a woman, which is fine, except it's not safe for me to use the men's or the women's. I don't want to make the women uncomfortable, but I also value my life. Aha

[@sparo_art]

I can’t believe that girl went to fetch a teacher because someone was washing their hands in that bathroom. That is the weirdest part of the story for me ^^" it’s not like you were prancing in there or doing something wrong. Lots of love I always love your content

[@bertranwalker6524]

um it's actually normal response. if you find a guy in girl's bathrooms you need to tell the teacher, it could be a pervert or pedophile. it could be some prankster but it could be dude that installs hidden cameras in girl bathrooms, and then this videos turn up on the deep web easily. so it's actually a good idea to check with superior about the situation, because you probably don't believe but a lot of people get the trans excuse to get to girls bathrooms only to place hidden cameras.

[@simplycharming123]

I think you forgot this was college. Not like middle school, so it could’ve been a creep.

[@FlickeringEmber]

I was thinking the same thing. It would be different if I saw an older person in there as a kid, eg if I was 15 and I saw a 30 year old in the school bathroom. But someone your own age presumably in their school uniform literally just washing their hands...What's the issue?

[@simplycharming123]

@@bertranwalker6524 alright who? Give me an example of someone using “the trans excuse”

[@skater112]

I can totally relate to this. I literally fear public bathrooms and as a trans masculine non binary person, neither the male or female toilet are appropriate for me. I get looks and comments in both :(

[@tlahmed]

Soph I I’m sorry ☹️

[@lunarwhispers]

tbh there should be more unisex bathrooms in public places, for problems like what u have

[@kawaiicharlie9650]

I understand your pain, I can't remember a time when I didn't have issues using a public bathroom

[@mrgreenleafx]

I'm on T for 1 1/2 years now, and been using the men's restrooms ever since I officially came out two years ago. To this day I've only been to about 10-15 men's restrooms though. Really shows you how long you can hold it when you really want. It just makes me so uncomfortable going in there and knowing that I need to find a stall. And most of the time you have to walk right past men using urinals. And that alone is so awkward for me because I didn't grow up with that. The absolute worst are toilets where you have to chose between two doors without knowing whether the urinals or the stalls are behind it....

[@jennifercollins5201]

I'm sorry so many of you have such problems. My opinion is whatever gender you identify with is the bathroom you use. I would have no problem sharing a bathroom with a trans person.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

I think there is still a large group of people who feel "you can always spot transgender people because they look different" and it's, for some cis-people in those cases a fear being able to adequately label someone that makes it scary. What they usually do not realize is that there is also a group of people who is transgender who blend in and who nobody will notice because they do not stand out.

[@AbominableDr.Phibes]

Most awkward experience I've had is when I was in a stall and a guy opened the door wide open and saw me and was like "Oops!" (I'm FTM and am serving in an army base, I'm in the men's dorms and the guys know me & they know I'm trans, but it's still very awkward since bathroom doors don't lock and the showers are together-ish).

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

Personally, I think trans people should use the bathroom that they "pass" as. This is for their own safety and it is the best option for avoiding a disturbance. A trans woman who has not undergone any sort of medical alterations is unlikely to "pass" and so other women in the bathroom may wrongly class the trans woman as a threat or pervert and someone may go and alert security. Yes, gender neutral bathrooms seem good, but as a female who HATES going to the bathroom when I know others can hear, female or male, I do prefer gender segregated restrooms. I find it an intensely uncomfortable environment to begin with, I avoid public restrooms like the plague.

[@AmyLovesYou]

I was afraid of them at first. Now I go in the women restrooms without any fear. What's there to be afraid of? A girl gonna beat me up with her purse? 😂 I belong there just as much as any other women. I will gladly fight that case in court if she wants to play that way.

[@AmyLovesYou]

By the way, I've had no surgeries and not once have I ever had a complaint about being in the female restrooms, but physically, I do look extremely feminine so there really isn't much reason for them to question I suppose. I still have obvious clues about me being transgender though. A visible larynx. An androgynous voice etc... I don't think any girls care though.

[@AmyLovesYou]

It is very obvious that going in the men restrooms would cause a MUCH bigger scene. That's no place for me!

[@pyromanticprince]

All toilets should be neutral tbh. They are in france quite often, and no one cares and nothing bad happens. The whole gendered thing is stupid because all you need is private stalls

[@omnipossum92]

I'm curious to know your thoughts on cis people who don't pass as their gender and which bathroom they should use. For example, if Jamie was actually a cis girl and never transitioned, would it have been easier for "her" to just have used the men's room "for 'her' own safety" and to "avoid a disturbance"?

[@Arthur-yf9yv]

No poop shaming here! I could make that alliterative, but I'd have to use a swear and this is a very wholesome channel :)

[@elliot7731]

I honestly relate. I can't use either public toilet because obviously I'd rather not use the wrong bathroom but i don't get perceived as male often so I don't feel safe using them. Luckily if I'm in town near me , Starbucks have a gender neutral toilet. I think I would probably explode if anything like that happened to me.

[@dezeisenhour723]

Well before I figured out I was trans I did this guy cosplay, I had a wig on and did a beard. Then I went to the bathroom and a girl walked in the bathroom. I walked out and she almost punched me until she realized I wasn’t a male.

[@ajfenwick5987]

I thought you said "where a trans person pees is at Hot Topic" and i was so confused for a minute

[@jaywright8837]

dude, it is completely understandable. i'm a trans guy and...ever since I came out last year at 13 and knew I was allowed to use the mens toilets, i've been passing well enough to go in the mens toilets. but I have been quite nervous. I have only used the boys toilets at school a couple times because the boys would pick fights and be horrible etc. but I always use the mens in public. I love your content, keep it up

[@jakekayll3214]

since ive come out as trans (2 years ago) I have not used the male or female toilets because of how uncomfortable I feel. I'm good at holding it in for hours and I wont go until there is a gender neutral or a disabled bathroom. I'm currently a month on testosterone and I still have absolutely no confidence in using the male toilets because of how people might react. if anyone has any advice, let me know please!

[@camchop04]

Well from your profile picture, I can definitely say you're looking very handsome :) I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. Good luck on doing the life thing lol it sucks sometimes but the more you transition the more everything will feel natural. -A fellow dude who hates public restrooms

[@rolfioolivia6184]

Go into the mens bathroom, but buy one of those knife key things that look like a key, but actually is a knife. If someone attacks you (very common) show them the knife, and worst case scenario... well you know... And if someone has a verbal problem, say what's the difference?

[@giuly8jojo]

please don't hold your pee for a lot of time, it can lead to serious illnesses for your kidneys💕💕

[@thewhy7403]

I seriously relate to the self consciousness. I'm pre t. This means pre comfortable... Basically pre functioning human being. Yeah, I am so dramatic also and nervous about everything. That seems like something common amongst trans people, probably because we feel off in our bodies and/or society so we are nervous about it. Also, once your body has styled from taking testosterone do you ever stop being so extremely sweaty? I'm scared of the sweat :(

[@e.s.lavall9219]

Apparently, yes, you stop being so sweaty and spotty. It really is a second puberty, once your body gets used to the new hormone levels it settles down.

[@frogspawn4302]

Do you think you could do a video on what you wore when you were pre t I know you proberly just wore boy clothes . but whenever I look at boy clothes my mum always says stuff and I can't really afford the clothes I want and I dunno I just want tips because I don't really have a friends that are boys for tips . Enjoyed the video btw ❤

[@kylansmith9394]

I don't know if this will help but I started by asking for pre-selected 'masculine' style girl's clothes for birthdays and Christmases and then purchased some cheapish neutral men's clothes online and gradually introduced more to my wardrobe whilst slowly rooting out my old stuff. Sometimes the easiest choice is to go for quite baggy things because they can help you feel more comfortable in your skin and gender presentation even if trackies and hoodies aren't your preferred style. And don't forget that it takes a while to figure out what suits you. Good luck, mate.

[@frogspawn4302]

UnrealKylanSmith thanks. :) I didn't think of Christmas and birthdays

[@conmanjammin]

Goodwill and places like that are your best friend when it comes to clothes tbh

[@frogspawn4302]

Bourtney Crush I'm British so there is no goodwill here

[@BOOcketMan]

Eyebrow Animations Thrift stores are a great option for less expensive masculine clothes. I’d recommend measuring yourself out for pants and such before you go in so you can be a bit prepared. I went one size up in men’s jeans to give a bit of sag to give the illusion of no curves.

[@theultimatejuicebox]

Ugh. My heart. Also it makes me sad when you downplay your experiences.. I understand why you do it (the internet sucks sometimes) but I hope you know the validity of your experience. Thanks for sharing your story ❤

[@viciousInsanity]

I‘m a cis-girl yet I still encountered countless situations where I got chased(!) out of women‘s bathrooms, where people knocked at the door of my stall to „call me out“ or where people just told me straight up that I was in the wrong bathroom. It’s embarrassing for me but I can imagine it being way worse for a trans person :/ Public Bathrooms are horrible and I hate using them.

[@Neila078]

Those days when youve been watching the channel so long youve already heard the story. Love you jamie! Keep doin you!

[@laincortesgonzalez4887]

When Jammi is just trying so hard to say the right word is the cutest thing ever. XD

[@hufflebuffben]

I have a couple horrible bathroom/locker experiences, but I wised up a bit. All people sometimes accidentally use the other restroom. If you run into trouble at a public bathroom and just want to get out of it, "OH, my mistake" is universal.

[@that.bluecat]

Omg I just realized you have a bass clef tattoo! Clef discrimination here.

[@Sam-pm9vy]

XanaduTheGreat He has a treble clef too on the other arm...

[@Arthur-yf9yv]

Sam yeah but... both is like better right? Better than just having treble or just having bass. Makes for a more balanced composition. Imagine if he had like an alto clef tramp stamp.

[@ALLTHEDRUGSFORCREATIVITY]

I remember this as the first time I 100% knew I was not female, Background information and build up: I was in year six so I was 11 and going through puberty. I'm Genderfluid but 11 y/o me doesn't understand the concept of gender any more than male,female and Jeffery star. I thought I was a trans male because that's how I felt then the next day that goes in the garbage and I feel fine. I always day dream and can't focus at all on anything because of my ADHD but that comes in later. I made this concept in my head of a girl who controls my head and a boy who I named Daniel I don't even know why, I just had a gut feeling about it. (Daniel now is a nickname I use on my masc days.) So then I thought that they would fight over who controls me (I was 11 okay.) and some days Daniel would and sometimes "girl" would then sometimes they would try and work together! Each day I asked myself, "Who's controlling me today?" Also this is BEFORE I even knew what Genderfluid meant! To the actual experience: In Class I was asking myself this question, daydreaming about it and we must have been learning about pronouns that day because the teacher saw me daydreaming and asked me a question. *"Daisy, what's your pronouns?"* I stared is shock it felt so long but so fast at the same time it was just like, "I can't say she honestly." "Who am I?" "AM I TRANS?" "AM I CAZY?" "AM I JEFFERY STAR?????" DANIEL.EX IS NOT RESPONDING... THE FILE DAISY.EX CANNOT BE FOUND. DANIEL.EX HAS CRASHED. Then she said... *"She."* ...Then she continued with her lesson. Then I was like... *"BISH YOU JUST ASSUME MY PRONOUNS?"* I had my jaw right down for another 10 minutes until I was just kinda mad. So thanks teacher for making me question my whole existence. Now I can answer this question my pronouns are he/him even the teacher was wrong

[@WhiteN0iz]

I'm at the point in my transition now (and honestly probably always will be, given my height) where I get funny looks REGARDLESS of what bathroom I choose. So, despite dysphoria, I tend to go with the women's bathroom because cis women are more likely to chew me out verbally than potentially assault me physically. :( I really, really wish more places had unisex bathrooms. Even when there are disabled washrooms, I've gotten scolded for using them... BUT THAT SAID, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but... I'm glad it helped you towards the eventual realization of being a guy!

[@PartanBree]

This is a really interesting story. What a cringeworthy experience! Fascinating that both the girl and the teacher saw you as male before you had even realised it. It really brings home, for cisgender people like me, just how thorny and complex this issue is. Some people talk as if it's simple, you should just use the "right bathroom", but there is no "right bathroom" when you don't quite pass as either gender. Gender neutral bathrooms worry a lot of people, and I admit I'm not at all comfortable with the ones that have cubicles opening onto a gender neutral sink space. Something about that secluded area right next to a place of undress feels unsafe to me. My workplace has gender neutral bathrooms which are all self contained with their own sink etc. Each one opens straight onto the corridor. That seems like a good solution to me. Communal changing spaces in clothes shops or swimming pools are a travesty. Thankfully we don't seem to have them here (Scotland). They all have cubicles, and the swimming pool ones are gender neutral but still private

[@user-ik2lk8sg1e]

I can relate to the peeninja

[@FTMDaniel]

Mate.... this is terrible. I completely feel you. I’ve had this happen to me many times before I came out. Thanks for sharing this story.

[@juliarose3826]

I had a kinda similar experience a couple of weeks ago, with someone running out of the bathroom at the sight of me. The thing is, it was a gender neutral bathroom. (I'm cis female for context) I was washing my hands when two kids started coming into the bathroom (one boy, one girl) and the boy did a double take and fled the bathroom, hiding behind the edge of the entrance (there was no doors) and the girl was like, what is your problem? and he said she's a girl *points at me* this is the girls bathroom! And the girl points out that its gender neutral, but the boy shakes his head and goes away and she makes a frustrated noise and then follows him. I found the whole situation funny. But I wonder if I had been a boy if the girl would've acted the same way the little boy did. It strange to me how gendered daily things in society is, as well as the strangeness that can come from interactions with other genders, and its even strange to me how important gender is to people. I get mistaken for a boy all the time in winter (due to wearing baggy, not very feminine winter coats, and big bulky boots 'cuase I got huge feet) and I couldn't care, I find it amusing every time it happens, and I don't bother to correct people. Its more recently that I have been educating myself about trans people and agender people that I've started to relise how difficult and uncomfortable some situations can be and how oblivious alot of people are to the way that those people feel and the types of situations that can be so hurtful. It's fulfilling to start to see and understand these different outlooks.

[@anyahs9496]

when you started talking about "trans feelings" i cannot because what you described is exactly what i feel right now and im slightly worried

[@jaycenthehoeslayer]

One time in seventh grade my friend came into the bathroom and i was checking myself out in the mirror (per usual) and they joked “your in the wrong bathroom” we shared a laugh and a teacher was telling people to get to class, heard this. She came outside the bathroom as my friend was leaving. She called out for “the other student in this washroom” (me) and me being in my pre transition days i was scared out of my mind, she sent me (and my friend) to the office and i had to explain my gender identity and that i was born as a _____ and i present myself as ____ and the office person understood and offered for me to use the one in the nurses office to protect “my privacy” and to “stop these incidents from happening again” and i left the office and saw my friend waiting in the lobby area. We left to go to class and they asked me, “did you get your own suite yet” (we called bathrooms/washrooms suites) and i replied “yes” and they were like “FINALLY” XD

[@tracybaldwin1564]

As a later in life transitioning person, I spent years before that being told I was in the wrong toilet. I’ve had women call the cops on me, I’ve even had to drop my drawers to prove I wasn’t in the wrong toilet. So about 10 years ago I started going exclusively to the men’s room. Even tho I didn’t begin transitioning until 5 years ago. I definitely relate to this. And I was always called out for using the wrong toilet, even as a child. I would be in a dress even and people would tell my mom that her son should be in the boys room. I just always looked like a boy.

[@alexarder202]

I’ve never used the town centres toilets (us UK peeps will know) but the one at work is the only one I’m comfortable with (the men’s one) but as it’s right next to the managers office 😂 it’s sometimes awkward when people go through and out because I’m shy when I pee lol

[@notdog1996]

I remember in Highschool, I got the school security sent on me two times by girls. Once for using the bathroom and another time for using the changing room. Both time the security staff looked at me, and went ''oh, it's just you''. Was pretty uncomfortable and I just hated having to use the female bathroom/changing rooms in Highschool.

[@elliotispeculiar1489]

This. Is. Me. Everytime

[@VexRavenhardt]

I'm a trans woman and generally I do pass as Afab so I usually dont have issues using women's public toilets but there was this one time I was at a strip club and went to go pee and this guy follows me in and asks "why are you in the ladies room?" And I said "well I'm a lady and I have to pee...what are YOU doing in the ladies room??" He apologized and said he was a club manager just looking out for the girl's safety. It was a single stall bathroom with a lock on the door. Wtf.

[@bravodevdas]

Omg I've gotten that before when I was younger you do feel like an alien👽 and more self conscious but yea you eventually get over it. I've always thought about that why don't we have more gender neutral bathrooms after all your bathroom at home is gender neutral right 😅😆

[@daniobrien1049]

I have looked at you channel for around two years before the release of this video and at that time I could not do anything about the fact that I identify mostly as female (gender fluid person here). This experience is very similar to mine one time at work when I had been using the women's bathroom for several months at that point. I had a person stop me and say "That's the ladies bathroom, the men's bathroom is over there." It was so awkward and for the rest of the day I was super on edge about my identity. I however have one difference to yours in that I am a stubborn individual (Born Aries) so I was like "Actually I am a Women, may not be as clear but I am a women". This assertiveness helped with the relaxing the tensions between me and the other person, still awkward but at least I felt less scared. I know for many trans individuals out there it is hard so you do you, but my one advice for people is to be strong and assertive about your own identity. I am however very angro and at the same time delicate so I do have some help in the passing department. For those who can pee and poop in the place that feels right to them or even those who can be who they are I say stay in there. In the United States at least the fact that individuals are separated by gender is actually a very racist creation, in this it was created as a statement that a black person is going to rape your wife or your daughter. The shift in narrative to trans individuals only points to the fear of having gender neutral bathrooms. Now having combined bathrooms presents very little in the way of issues when considering shift however the cultural shift also has to be there. This shift however could easily happen, though a little more difficult than that of desegregation, architecture and designs can make this fact a reality. These changes should include in the United States: Tightening up gaps between stalls and increasing coverage of doors, removing urinals for they are very unsanitary and socially problematic (though an alternative would be to put full stalls around them rather than simple dividers which work horribly this coming from a 5'11" person who for a long while used them, they do not work for tall people), and destigmatize talking about rape as well as reflect the seriousness of falsely claiming rape for money (which is a really low percentage of rape claims). The shift from bathrooms being protective to that of consent and social dissonance will actually reduce rape cases not the genderization of bathrooms. This concept can be applied to locker rooms as well, though the application of it is the creation of individual stalls (with some effort could even have showers) and get rid of shared showers. Furthermore, this shift for locker rooms also improves any individual who wants to remain private about their own body such as the religious and abused. Each of these things are far more important than the identity of a person as a person who is going to rape will do it regardless and if you add cameras in these private places it would be a violation of privacy. As such there is only social policing of gender and it leads to some violating not only trans individuals right to privacy but cis individuals as well. Each of you are humans, our bones are mostly the same, bodies as varied as any characteristics. Sex is only relative and even genetics does not mean you are the gender that your genes state. Be proud of what gender you are and be happy.

[@denhemmeligepungrotte5004]

i know the freaking feeling mate.

[@joese5]

Hearing this personal account is powerful - thank you for sharing XXX

[@godisacritter8917]

In my personal opinion there is no way I would have ever used the men's room pre-everything. Never.

[@sociocomm724]

I am not technically trans (unless apparently I'm in California) but I am a hermaphrodite. But the public restroom thing is SUCH a damn problem for me that I just...willingly damage my body. Since birth, I have been physically presenting as male despite having it on my ID that I am female because that's what my mother wanted to try and force me to be. I'm not gonna bore you with all that damaging nonsense but the bathroom thing, I have a story. I was at a Burger King here in Colorado and I had to pee so I got up and went into the ladies room because that is what I was taught I should do my whole life. Recently, I have been taking hormones to try and nudge my body farther in the male direction and I have, since age 18, been dressing as male...just to give an idea of what I appear like if you cant see my profile pic here. I go to open the door to the ladies room and a teenage boy came out of the men's room door adjacent and informs me that I was going into the wrong room...and just like you I had to explain. It sticks deeper in your mind than you ever think it will or should. Another time, I was at the movie theater and had just finished watching a movie and drinking a lot of soda so I go into the ladies room. I was alone in there while I did my business but just when I exited the stall, a woman comes in with her young daughter. I am merely washing my hands like a grown ass adult and she is over there covering her daughter's eyes and whispering to the girl that she can hold it until they are safe at home...and hurriedly exits. I'm like "ok, whatever" and didnt bother myself with it until I am drying my hands under the blower and a security guard comes in and asks me to leave because I am purposefully making people uncomfortable...then lectures me all the way out the door about how I can't go around trying to provoke people. I should mention that I am dressed kind of punk-rock-ey because that's my style...but apparently this added to the offense I caused. I've gone back to that theater several times since then but tried to not drink enough that I need to use the restroom until I am home...and this is kind of my life...avoiding public restrooms whenever I go anywhere.

[@adrianaperezz3351]

*talks about pee*............*SITS ON YELLOW CHAIR*

[@imabandit5739]

I outed myself as transgender non-binary by explaining why i thought public toilets should be unisex in a debate

[@firestone8]

I do laugh whenever you say "your eye nals", as we here in the States say "your IN als", but to be fair, you guys had the language a lot longer than we have and American-ese pronounces many English words WRONG. BTW you are clever and adorable and it's clear why Saaba loves you so. She is a lucky girl.

[@absolchan]

This reminds me of a situation i was in once. (Im female). Im not trans myself. In early high school, i was part of the drama club and was in a theater class. We put on a shakespeare “festival” of sorts for the school dressed in costumes that we had. (The long dresses from that time... etc...) By the time i was able to get to our costumes, there was no dresses left, so i put on what was left. (Which to me at the time was very gender neutral). Basically The hat/pants/shirt/shoes for poets at that time period. I had a few parents think i was a little boy, one of them asked if i was lost. I was really confused because i still thought i looked like a girl.

[@marissabuo]

#relatable

[@Paradoxum177]

The worst is in school when I walk into the bathroom and see some guy who is in my classes and knows me and I internally start screeching in panic. Good times can wait to go back to that

[@WhiteN0iz]

Another instance of 'omg why does this make me feel so bad' happened in highschool, before I knew I was trans/started presenting masculine, when a guy I barely knew sent me a love letter! Tucked it into my little classroom cubby. And something about the concept of a random dude who knew nothing about me... being attracted to me romantically and physically based on the idea of me he has in his head as a girl... just gave me a massive panic attack. I ran home, sobbing my eyes out. Ugh. Awful, made no sense to me at the time, but I get it in hindsight.

[@Honeybearremake]

Oh hell no honey you were not over reacting!!!! That shit is so hard to deal with and I'm so proud of you for getting through it

[@no.name81]

yeah :)

[@TheBadgerSneaky]

Thankfully due to being intersex, I passed within a couple of months. So I've never actually experienced any problems at all. It's really interesting to hear another persons experience and perspectives! , So thank you!

[@antiox9170]

I've had similar experiences, people walking out, or looking at me then the signs and/or leaving again. Ive had security called on me at the mall once and that was the last time I ever used a public restroom. Even thou nothing happened since I quickly left I just dont use them. Even if I pass now I dont dare step into a public restroom unless its unisex.

[@leo.l.e3488]

I know EXACTLY what you are saying. I haven't started hormones yet and this exact situation has happened to me several times.

[@Correctrix]

Well done for passing pre-transition anyway. :) I know that backtracking-and-checking-the-sign-on-the-door thing well. Three months into my MtF transition, I had two incidents in quick succession whereby men walked backwards and had to check the sign, because seeing me made them think they were in the wrong toilet. I wasn’t feeling brave enough to use the ladies’ toilets yet, but I was now clearly making people uncomfortable in the gents’. So, I used the disabled toilets for a month, then upgraded to the ladies’, and continued without incident for the last seven years. I was rather desperate never to be a ‘man in a dress’ or be seen to arrogantly demand access to women’s spaces, so my approach was to wear exclusively clothing from the women’s section of shops, but stick to things like jeans and T-shirts so that I could never be accused of cross-dressing. I also started giving my name as an ambiguous abbreviation to new people. This resulted in nobody even noticing I’d transitioned for the first few weeks, and then gradually people started perceiving me as a probably queer or hipster guy with a flamboyant style, then perceiving me as an androgynous lesbian or tomboy, before finally seeing me as a fairly ordinary woman. It was only when I was consistently gendered female that I started to wear things like skirts. Because I never looked like I was ‘trying’ to be something, there was a stage when different people in the same room might take me to be an androgynous boy or androgynous girl, and be baffled that the other people were gendering me differently. Given the way that clothing norms differ between the genders, I think that my experience is probably more common amongst trans men than women.

[@plutototoh]

A surprisingly positive interaction I've had in a men's bathroom as an FtM trans guy: this has been the first time I was "corrected" on what bathroom I was in so far (I'm short and in Canada, so either every other guy that I've ever passed in a public washroom thought I was a young boy or didn't want to cause a scene). At my college, as I was walking into the men's room to pee, a transfer student classmate of mine said I was in the men's room. So I turned around, smiled, nodded and said, "Yeah, I know." It took him a second but then he nodded and went "ohhh". After I was done my business and returned to our English class he very simply apologized with an "I'm sorry about earlier" and it was really sweet. :) EDIT: I'm 18, pre-everything physical. I've been out for years and use my preferred name and pronouns by everyone including all the staff at the school, though. I'm going for an assessment for top surgery soon...!

[@Atlas226]

I have also had many. MANY. Awkward experiences with public bathrooms. I'm a trans guy and thankfully I pass as a guy. The negative of passing is that it makes going to use the bathroom very awkward. 1) I was on a road trip starting from Scenic World in the Blue Mountains. I needed to use the toilet so I went and found them, but there was a constant stream of women coming out of the door. Since I was kind of just hovering outside waiting for an opportunity to get in, I was getting a lot of strange looks from the women coming out. It made me feel really uncomfortable but I wasn't brave enough to go use the men's bathroom. 2) On the same road trip, I was in Orange. My little brothers were running around being crazy, and they ran into the women's bathroom. I had to go get them out, but there was a woman in there and she looked at me really funny. Later, I had to go tell the older brother of the two, who was on the toilet, that we were going. The younger brother was with the car, and I wasn't sure if the older one had heard. So I went into the men's bathroom to make sure he had, and there were a couple of guys in there. Not one of them looked at me twice.

[@cherrybomb6068]

Your face in the thumbnail is me on a daily basis 😂😂

[@kathryncumberland]

It's hard enough for anyone to be a teenager, let alone LGBT+ individuals. I'm so sorry you had that embarrassing experience and you shouldn't feel the need to explain that you know others have had "worse" experiences. It is completely valid for you to feel upset by what happened! I have a trans son who is in high school (15yo) and I am so thankful that the school has gender-neutral bathrooms! Well, they have one, but the school is currently under construction and they're adding another one. He sometimes has to wait a long time and is late to class, but his principal said if that ever happens, he will give my son a pass, no questions asked. I live in bumblef*ck Central Wisconsin, so I've been pleasantly surprised at the understanding and support he's received at the school. Prior to having his name legally changed, the principal and counselors were very helpful in making teachers aware that they should not use his deadname, which was extremely feminine. Now that it's been legally changed, we don't have to worry about that anymore :)

[@frisonietdeprins]

I'm a tomboy, and in the first week of the school year, I always have a great time when the first-years (I don't know how you call the first year of middle school) come in. The look at me, slowly back away, look at the sign next to the door, look at me again with a weird look on their face and then continue on to pick a cabin and pee. When I'm in public restrooms, I always take of my cap, because otherwise there will always be a forty-something years old woman that tells me "Excuse me, this is the woman bathroom" and that means I awkwardly have to explain that I am in fact a girl that likes wearing caps. But I don't do this at my school, because after a week or two, most people know I'm that girl with the caps. I prefer the gender-neutral bathroom at my school, really, but we only have one. I'm really happy we actually have one, but that one's at the highest stage so you have to walk really far in break if you want to pee there and I don't always have the energy to do that. There was also this time at my school when we all got chips that could measure the distance we ran at a sport activity at school. We had to tie it to our shoelaces, and our names were on it. So this teacher called the names and everyone came to get their chip and I was one of the four last ones left. So he called my name, a girl name, and I walked up to him to get my chip. And it went like this: He: Are you [my name]? Me: Yes, I am. He: No, I don't believe you. That's a girl name. You are not [my name]. I mean... excuse me? At that time, I was really embarrassed and nearly crying. My friends started telling him that I was a girl, that I was [my name] and that they would know, as they had known me for ten years. So finally, he gave me my chip and we went to the sports field. I always have some kind of ID ready now.

[@cathair_the_nerd2017]

When I first moved to my new school, my mum and I had a meeting with one of the important staff members (idk what exactly her role is, but she talks at assemblies and doesn't actually teach and has an office in the front office building so I know that she's important). My mum told her that I'm transgender (a trans guy) and then she called like four other people (including the principal of the entire school) in to the meeting and they all spent like half an hour discussing whether I should be allowed to use the boys' toilets or if I had to use the girls' (ultimately they decided to not be ***holes and they let me choose (and obviously I chose the boys' since I am a boy and I pass well enough to use the boys' toilet without getting attacked)). After that whole thing, they decided to add a gender-neautral toilet block to the school when they renovate the library later this year (currently the only gender-neutral toilets in the school are one disabled toilet in the special-ed corner of the school (which in itself is slightly concerning) and one in the staff block, both of which are completely restricted to most students).

[@mistyblueeyes4024]

Man, your story about the girls' bathroom and the teacher made me remember how much school sucked.

[@sweeterskin7064]

I'm a woman and i've always used the men's bathroom from time to time just because i don't care. Plus, sometimes there are so much womans in public bathroom you have to wait 20min to pee... nobody ever said anything to me when i did it, but maybe it depend on the country? (i'm french) I wish everybody could be this cool about sharing public bathroom, especially when i heard (and read) all yours experiences. Stay strong people!

[@JPJustPlay]

YOUR HAIR IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGG KEEP IT LIKE THIS ITS GORGEOUS

[@katie6384]

Does anyone else just desperately want to give him a hug?

[@funkadelicflowerchild7403]

That was me all of high school when I was pre t and went into the guys bathroom. Shittest feeling to be told your not supposed to be in the bathroom you feel more comfortable in.

[@ragelnyg4895]

Thanks lad! Great video! If you have time to read that as I guess you have a lot of comments, "awkward" stories in male toilet. - - - - - I am a transguy from France living in Finland, I am 25 but came out only last March. I am just lucky somehow that the fact I have been bullied for being a freak since I am 11, which led me to the point that if I am also extremely self conscious and giggle paranoid, in 14 years, and life in 4 different countries (France Mexico Scotland and Finland) made I have grown very good to fake I am bold and really don't give a shit. And among the 4, France is definetely and by far, the worse with intolerant assholes. I was regularly questioned or even insulted just for having blue hair. or tribal looking braids. I use the male toilet and urinals with stand to pee and I was very curious about how other guys who do that are washing it. As I could not find the answer by myself, I am washing it where other guys wash their hands and here in Finland, if I look at them with my best please-comment-I-am-waiting with ready-made-thoughts to shut-your-goddamn-mouth look, they generally just pass their way and keep their mouth shut. I stopped to use female toilet so I don't know what would happen there but I am Pre-T and long haired so most people assume I am just a butch girl who don't want to queue for female toilet. The first time it happened it was at the entract of a theater play so you can imagine, super crowded and I was talking with my female voice to a male friend and an old dude say me "it is male toilet here". I wanted to shut him up saying "yes, I know but though it is not obvious, I am also a man." but I just said "yes, I know..." and the rest staid stuck in my throat. I wanted to die because it was overcrowded and I had no stp at this time so I was queuing for cubicles too. I wanted to runaway but I gathered all the courage I had left and waited for my turn to do my bussiness. Once in Tallin, the male/female sign was not obvious in a restaurant and I saw a guy in front of both doors very confused. I already used that very toilet about an hour before because contrariwise to you I need to pee very often and as I am not home very often, I would just die if I had to stop to use public toilets. So I give the lad a clue with my infortunately pre-T voice: "male is this one". He thank me and when I follow him, he ask me what I am doing there, I said "I did not find transgender toilet so here I am" He answered, "ah ok", and rushed into the cubicle letting me alone with the urinals. I can't help thinking that a lot of people bully trans people because they think we are weak just because life kicked us in ways they have no idea what had us looking awkward and over self conscious. However, if you stand to them as they are often even weaker than the people they bully to have to smell awkwardness to dare to mock, they just go away. Thanks for sharing!

[@mackenzieboudreau9816]

I thought this was appropriate to share here: My school, where I had a show that kids were in at, has a couple of all gender bathrooms. One of this kids was continuously calling it the everybody bathroom. Warmed my heart since even though I am cis, a few of my school friends aren’t.

[@jillianpearce7839]

You are a bright light! Keep shining!

[@DementisVenustas]

In high school, we had a point where so many people were leaving the bathrooms all messed up, so for a while they were locked. You had to ask your teacher for a key, and a hall pass. So one day, I went to use the bathrooms, the hall was deserted. I was like, 12 or 13? And at the time, came off as a very butch girl. Short hair, T-shirts and jeans all the time, etc etc. (For the record, our school was small so 7th and 8th graders were basically high schoolers.) Well on this particular day, I had a teacher stop me when I was unlocking the door and she said, “You know, this is the girls bathroom, right?” Of course, I’d never had the words to describe to myself what I was feeling. I’d always thought, as a young kid, I wish I could be a boy when I grow up. This was back in the early 2000s, and if there was a flourishing trans community online, I certainly never found it. I just knew that I felt better being in a sort of middle-place, and that her confusing me as a boy made me feel giddy. Nonetheless, I “corrected” her, she apologized... and later on, we became very close. We’re even still friends, and we’ve joked that she must’ve seen something about my aura that made her stop me that day. (Lol, she’s that weird teacher with purple hair, foam gargoyles, bats and coffins in her classroom, and always kept quartz and amethyst in her pocket.)

[@MikusDad39]

I was given permission in high school to use the men's rooms when I came out because the vice principal had a trans daughter and understood to some degree what I was going through. I also get anxiety waiting for stalls in men's rooms nowadays but because I'm disabled and I walk with a cane no one ever really questions me about why I would sit down to pee.

[@chantiemaya]

Hey Jamie, you’re looking absolutely fantastic mate!! It’s been a while since I’ve been on your channel. Love the hair. Love the tats. I’m sorry about your bad toilet experience, and I’ve been reading some message from other trans ppl and I wish there was something I could do to help. I’m a cis woman, I dress a little butch but I’m obviously a woman, and if there’s anything I can do in public places to make it easier for anyone, please let me know? I generally just greet ppl in public toilets with a hi, hello, bye, not much more, just the standard awkward social interaction with A Stranger. A thing I worry about sometimes, as I wanna be a good trans ally, is to misgender someone. On the other hand, with strangers, nobody is obliged to tell any stranger about their gender, or to explain themselves. You don’t owe strangers ANYTHING. Even if your awkwardness tells you that you should explain yourself, you don’t have to. If I meet someone who’s gender I’m not sure of, I will just refrain from adding sir or madam to my ‘have a nice day’.

[@riiiibu]

My most awkward/embarrassing but also kind of hilarious (in retrospect) experience was when i was washing my hands at the Stanford Uni shop bathroom. The door opened and a small group of Japanese women started filing in (maybe 5 or 6). When they saw me, the first woman stopped and then they all started filing back out backwards to look at the sign near the door. Then they looked at the sign and then at me and back again. It was kind of funny tbh. I wanted to tell them in my limited Japanese that it was ok and that i was a girl, but my mind just went blank so I just smiled at them and left.