UNACCEPTABLE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO SINGLE WOMEN

[@salamyall193]

I'm 39 and never married. I simply haven't met anyone I'm compatible with in deen, goals, values, etc. The idea that women over 30 who aren't married are somehow "at fault" is no less absurd than pressuring women in their 20s to "hurry up and get married." Allah doesn't work on our arbitrary schedules, and when we try to rush and make it happen, we often end up regretting it. Allah told us that not everyone will get married in this life, however much they might wish to, just like not everyone will have kids. It's their qadr as decreed by Allah and they shouldn't be blamed for it. Sisters, marriage is not the purpose of our lives, no matter what society says. Your value isn't determined by being married and having kids, your value was given to you by your Creator.

[@Farxadiyoguul]

You’re everything is qadr. People act like they are in control of when you get married and when you have kids. If Allah didn’t bless us with marriage yet we shouldn’t stop leaving. We weren’t created to only get married. We should strive to get married and not check of every box of compatibility. We should compromise certain things because nobody will find everything that they’re looking for. Deen should be the first thing.

[@thedon8384]

This is a nice way to cope but Allah swt also said completing half your deen is getting married. You being 39 meaning our value in the marriage market is basically 0. You do not have options anymore. But maybe your happy being alone forever in your life. That is very sad and pretty much a worthless wasted life. May women like you become less and less. - I am sure there were suitioors who came your way in your life but you said no to them because of some false worth of yourself, but respectfully you made the wrong choice, the man you think you wanted/deserve didn't want you and now your 40 with a life wasted.

[@romah6059]

❤ So true

[@sarakhanum9534]

but what if the sister does everything does not get married is divorced widowed,single without her fault and people keeping taunting and making her feel as if it is a punishment for her

[@sarakhanum9534]

Pls respect women irrespective of everything just as individuals let them live peacefully

[@Halo.H]

Jazakhallah Nafisa, for making this video, you are married Ma'shAllah, yet you are still fighting for us single women.

[@NafisasPearlz]

Waiyakum. It’s part of my purpose so it’s a topic that will always be close to my heart. Jazaka’Allahu khairan

[@Fanaya222]

Thank you for this video. Takes me back to when I was single. I was told by many people mostly family that my educational level and career will intimidate men. In addition my decision to wear hijab and dress modestly will make me unattractive. Alhamdulilah, I got married at 32 years. Marriage is not easy, takes A LOT of patience and like you mentioned marriage is not perfect. Some spouses will really test you while others will be the coolness to your eyes. May Allah make it easier for us all.

[@faizahzubairu5321]

Assalamualaikum Sister, I just wanted to say that I love your channel for being such a safe space. No clickbait, no drama. Just chill beneficial videos. Allahumma Baarik 👍

[@NafisasPearlz]

Thank you so much for your support.

[@ramatouliekonateh7427]

Some people do it intentionally just to hurt you, especially married sisters

[@aminah761]

Yess

[@moominpug3298]

I found this really helpful- Jazakallah hayr. I'm male, 46 and looking for a partner. Events in life have precluded me from entering marriage and I pray that all our duas are granted by the Almighty.

[@sadafahmed9563]

Alhamdulillah good advice. Been there done that so know how tough it is yes agree, age, career, meeting toxic men and biological clock ticking... thus single life can be tough. One had to meet alot of frogs before you meet your one prince. Trust me, I came alot of emotionally unstable mental rubbish men, verbally abusive unstable, not practicing dodgy, promiscuous, no personality whatsoever, stingly, not real men not practicing this I'm glad I didn't end up with them! Bye to trash for good. What you want is out there - don't settle for less! But yes, people can be insensitive culturally and say inappropriate things, especially the older generation - knew one in particular! Been married before personally one does look back now at your youth /single years life the carefree and simple days. My advice to single sisters never settle for 'trash or toxic men' trust me it does destroy your life your better of alone - big problem in our culture, they just want to 'settle' girls to psychos, know many in that situation. Never settle for a mentally unstable man or as a 'second wife'. No. Never rush into a marriage either or you will end up marrying trash. Coming into pressure is not a good thing either. In the end you have to be in the right frame of mind to attract /the right man person in the first place. Work on yourself. Want is meant to be is meant to be - your time will come, Qadr Allah. In the marriage is only good if your are in a happy marriage with the suitable person for you. Also know some divorcees....who decided not to settle now, I guess getting married a second time around can be tougher! However, I do know single sisters who never got married who are practicing, happy had two aunties who never did get married not meant to be! In the end everyone has someone in jannah, as long as your aiming for jannah! Purpose is to worship Allah!

[@umikw3459]

I started watching you a long time ago... mashallah,you gave me strength. Somewhere along the way I gave up hope of marriage and lost all patience...Inna lillahi wa Inna ilaihi rajiun. Today I only have many regrets... Still not married and in my mid thirties... Please make dua for me sisters. Apologies for venting in public.

[@amaldahir3746]

May Allah help you with this great test! Ameen 💕 💕 💕 keep your head up high! You are not alone Allah is with you 💖

[@TimTim__]

May Allah make it easy for you and for us all. ❤

[@samia6888]

Nafisa, may Allah bless you and your marriage. It is difficult to be a single Muslima. May Allah make it easy on us to find the right spouse. May I look back and laugh at how dramatic I was, till then I have to honor my feelings and not let others hurt me over not being married. I trust in Allah alone to bring him to me.

[@NafisasPearlz]

Ameen. Indeed enjoy your life as it is now, there is much to be great full for despite the challenges.

[@hadyasan6879]

Opps great topic sis I was first married at age 17 which lasted for 3 months, two of wish I had to live with his little sister due to everything 😢we lived together for a month and that was it Subhanallah the questions were abusive and demeaning but Alhamdulillah am now married with two beautiful kids Prayer and fasting became my everyday normal and continue ❤

[@NafisasPearlz]

Alhamdulilah for his mercy on us all. Indeed closeness to Allah can get you through so much, without it; it can feel impossible. May Allah continue to bless you and all those going through hard times.

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

@@NafisasPearlz أمين يا الله

[@hadyasan6879]

@@NafisasPearlz Aameen 🤲

[@versatileenigma4019]

Thanks for the encouraging and understanding words. It really takes a toll on one's mental, spiritual and even physical health getting the wrong person into your life. May Allah Bless us with the goodness of righteous spouses in this world and Akhirah.

[@sherrytolani4645]

I don't know why am teary while watching this😢... I pray to Allah I do tahjjud but the men am meeting mock me for not been married at 32 and they are deceivers they also act in a manner that is unpleasant telling me, I have no choice that if I leave they get a younger lady... I still have fate that I won't marry wrong in Sha Allah. Thank you for this Nofisah❤️

[@salamyall193]

Be grateful to Allah that they are showing their character before you marry them!

[@aishaluminsa6505]

If any one demeans you, it's because they feel inferior to you. Their intention is to put you to their level so that they can qualify. Take it that Automatically they are below your station and move on

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

Sometimes when you interact with people you are reminded that you are not married yet )but you should ,as though you do not know about it.

[@muritalaakande69]

More wisdom and knowledge to you nafisat. Sigles should not give a room for anyone to make them feel that their way of life is odd, as long as they are striving to fulfill the half of their faith which is marriage rather than being of the view that marriage is optional. But we shouldn't be desperate about it and we should be prayerful.

[@behumble5245]

I am from Uzbekistan, your words relate so much to our culture, when even your close friends are starting to say that you are gonna left alone till your 30s, thank you sister, may Allah help all single muslimah❤

[@misbahailia3345]

My mum and I would love to visit Uzbekistan. Seen it on TV, your country is so beautiful Masha'Allah.

[@MissUnderstood17]

My SIL: Have you thought about getting married, it will make things easier for your mum Also SIL to the other SIL about me: she will never get married This SIL herself had been married to my brother for almost 10 years before she had her forst child and I never once said she will never have children. Some people are just evil, love to backbite and don't realise their words just like nazr can impact people. Why not say in sha Allah she will get married or its in Allah's hands.

[@daisylilies2483]

Hi sister 💕 Thank you for the video.what people say hurts especially from non muslims Especially those with boyfriends they pick at you for why you don’t have anyone in your life.I’m a picky person and I can’t change it Inchallah I’m waiting for the right Muslim man.I had many disappointments in my life unfortunately.. but I’m still holding on 🙏🏻 may Allah bless you and your family 💓

[@sarahgoss852]

❤

[@tourayhaddijatou1218]

I just started following you, sister. Ma Sha Allah, your videos are absolutely insightful. I can relate to most of what you share and I'm learning a lot from it as well. May Allah reward you for this. Ameen.

[@TheAYESHAUZMA]

I never click this marriages topic videos , but when you mentioned in specially for SINGLES . I just clicked it but not because it motivates me to marry.. Good jokes "Marry my Husband" lol....... BTW from teenage i have migraines and it was nearly for 10 years soooo never thought of marriage because i was not healthy due to migraine , and i thought i might go away from Duniya in young age. ALLAHAMDULILLAH I am healthy now but still never feel that " why i am not married yet" . I am really happy ALLAH SWT is taking care of my health. Even i am not married am very much happy. ALLAHAMDULILLAH. Its good topic you made this video " how to speak to Singles". From India Walyekum Assalam Waramathullahi Wabarakatahu. Its soothes me when i see your videos.

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ رَبِّ ٱلْعَٰلَمِينَ

[@nasreenkhan5790]

As salaamu alaikum sister masha Allah you are so beautiful Masha Allah, you have so much noor alhamdullilah, I have 2 daughters and they don't want to get married becos of so many things that's happening in our society I feel it's safer they remain unmarried

[@norinbegum6151]

This just came at the perfect time Alhamdulillah May Allah reward you Ameen

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

أمين يا الله

[@NafisasPearlz]

Alhamdulilah

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

@@NafisasPearlz al-Hamdu-liLLĀH

[@abokiyanalove9241]

There isn't any reason I'm not married. If I was married, then maybe I wouldn't have come to Islam. Living in the south I'd probably be married to a guy of different faith. Allah is the head of my life, no man can beat Allah loving me.

[@marishkamaley9806]

MashAllah that a good advice sister nafisa for all single sisters and May Allah bless you in this duniya and akhira the only thing is to be patient and pray alot because there is alot of temptation May Allah make easy for all my Muslim sisters

[@Penseesmodestes]

BarakAllahou fiki for this video Nafisa

[@niahsugiarti3660]

Aamiin ya Allah...I am so relate to these four questions that has been asking to me. I am in my early 30s. This video helps me alot sister...

[@mfat3690]

I am 27 year old ...my all friends are married and they kept asking me weather i am engaged yet or not. When i say no to them it feels bad . They cant understand my feeling , most of friends married to their cousins and other relatives. But my case is different i m staying inside my home everyday ...by the way i m from east so in our culture parents search out for their kids marrieg ... My mom is not alive and my father is not much interested in my marriage weather he is interested in searching a doctor girl for my 29 year old engineer brother.

[@mfat3690]

Some people ask you geneounly about your marriage.. But they cant understand how much you hurt by this topic like my friends they ask me as if they care about me.

[@amaldahir3746]

Jazaky Allah khayran sister Nafisa ❤ I really needed to hear this today. May Allah grants you jennah!

[@Freedom_for_Palestina]

Some say or think that you wait for a prince. May ALLĀH GRANT all muslims hidayah and Protect from all kinds of evil أمين يا الله

[@aasmahalima5245]

Can relate to this so much. Jzk for your amazing & uplifting content. You've helped me alot in my healing journey. May Allah bless you 🩷

[@Ginger-u5d]

Masha Allah After becoming a mother you have become more beautiful ❤️ Masha Allah

[@NafisasPearlz]

Thank you

[@Zoeee93]

This is literally so frustrating when people ask y didn't u marry yet ,I mean why can't people mind their own business

[@nadirajames4267]

SubhanaAllah!!!!! This was a beautiful and powerful reminder Sis Ma shaa Allah🤲🏾🤲🏾🫶🏾❤️

[@NafisasPearlz]

So glad!

[@misbahailia3345]

3;21 What? She's acting as if you just publicly ate bacon or something 🤦🏽‍♀️😂. May Allah swt protect you and us from that. I feel like people who're unhappily married, hate that single women aren't suffering with them. Instead of choosing to leave, they'd make empty life goals to make single women/girls feel bad. Then Muslims wonder why some Muslimahs prefer non-muslim friends, this is definitely one of the biggest reasons for me anyway.

[@tuaigetsdj3699]

JazakAllah khairan felt like my older sister was talking to me love your channel 💞💞

[@sss0099]

A much needed video, may Allah bless you immensely ❤️

[@aminaabdulkadir6497]

Asalamualaikum Warahmatulahi Wabarakathu. I love listening to your talks quite educative. May Allah continues to give you wisdom in this aspect of move. I hope people learn from your talks. Jazakhillahu khairan.

[@FR-ud4ux]

Tabarak Allah sister, I enjoy so much listening to you talking. I laughed in this video. 💗💗may Allah help all my sisters have patience with people and through all the way.

[@NafisasPearlz]

Ameen. Glad you enjoyed the video

[@ويدراوغوسودة]

DjazzakiAllahu khair Sister Nafisa. ..I'm a single women and this video help me a lot, , I have a lot of Sabr about (why you didn't get married yet all your friends get blablabla. ..) in front of those I acte like strong one but in reality i suffer ,, الله المستعان

[@FaridaDawkinsYY]

This is such an important topic. Thanks for discussing it.

[@bosslady6762]

I really love you for the sake of ALLah❤.. your always give me so much comfort and insights..love from India😍

[@Khadijah260]

SubhanAllah, ur glowing sister. BarakAllah

[@behumble5245]

i am only 19, but even I am feeling pressure, ya Rabb, why people are so stupid and ignorant to someone’s feelings

[@thedon8384]

Because those people care about you. They know as you get old your value in the marriage market does down. So maybe listen to those people as they know more than you. Since your young getting married in your early 20s will allow you to find the best man possible and as you get older you will not be able to.

[@Hulleek]

@@thedon8384 No lol. A lot of men who seek younger women actually intend to abuse and use them for their own merit. If a woman gets older, she would have already learned quite a lot about the world and would have a higher chance of finding love. Literally I have never seen a woman who says she is upset because no one wants to marry her because of her old age. Most women I see were constantly told that no one would want to be with them but ended up finding their partner so yeah personally I think girls should marry later.

[@thedon8384]

@@Hulleek This is factually untrue and you just lied or are just ignorant. Studies show the younger the woman and the fewer partners she has the more likely it is the marriage will work. And you kept talking about your personal experience I'm sorry to tell you the world does not revolve around you, your subjective anecdotal experience is not the reality of how the world operates in general. The exception doesn't make the rule. The older the woman the more likely she has more trauma, more life experience and will be more masculine. Not to mention the old she is the more likely she will be to become biologically useless as 90% of her eggs are gone by 30 years OLD. None of what you said is based on facts or stats which makes your entire argument worthless. Men of value i.e. the men women want don't want old useless women. We want young, fertile, obedient religious women. And men of value are rare and women who are young, fertile, and obedience religious women are plenty. So supply and demand if that woman wants be with that man she better fall in line 😂👍

[@almaaida8942]

MashAllah ,great video , selam from Bosnia and Hercegowina 💖💖💖🇧🇦🇧🇦🇧🇦

[@NafisasPearlz]

Walaikumsalam

[@m.a.8032]

I am so glad I came across your channel. This video gave me strength, thank you. May Allah bless you for your help❤

[@NafisasPearlz]

Ameen

[@sarahafez9567]

Jazakhallah khayrun Nafisa!Could you please do a video about finances in a marriage?I would appreciate that,thank you!

[@tee3556]

Assalamu Alaykum sister! I just sat to see your video with a cup of coffee ☕. I really love hearing you. Jazakallahu Khayran for sharing beneficial contents ❤️

[@ajam3086]

Asalaamalikum, I love your videos

[@sabinatagayeva1744]

Thank you for giving me confidence ❤❤❤

[@nature_is_beautiful02]

JazakumullAh khairan

[@mimo4856]

Haven't watched the full video yet but I'm sure this is going to be a good one, like all your videos. So nice to see these single Muslim woman videos even though you are married now. Just a kind request Nafisa, please can you change/inspect your microphone as this video and the last one have been very quiet. JazakAllah Khair!

[@cleartrueblue66]

Mashallah sis you are glowing! looking so beautiful and happy barakallahu feek. Thank you so much for these videos, they are so beneficial. May Allah preserve you.

[@purplelove3666]

I heard the baby,is the baby greeting us? I love baby noises lol.say Salam to your baby for me. :)

[@niazakria1561]

Jazak Allahu Khairun sis ❤

[@Mmefatoom]

I’m totally for preferences aka “being picky.” But please sisters, for the sake of Allah, be realistic in your pickiness. Please don’t be 600 pounds saying you won’t take anything less than a millionaire Muslim Henry cavill with a PhD and a perfect body. I had one sister tell me that the man she wants to marry won’t be able to tell her anything (no authority), doesn’t want him living with her, and won’t touch her (if you know what I mean.) he has to be rich and good looking and can’t take another wife. What real healthy sane Muslim man would agree to all that?! And no, it wasn’t a joke. So please sisters, as a sister I advise you to be realistic in your pickiness. You can have preferences and ideas just don’t go looking for a husband from Pluto. He’s not real.

[@betulylmaz8061]

This hijab looks great on you❤

[@CooktoCope]

Good to see you after so long

[@NafisasPearlz]

Thank you for staying with me

[@CooktoCope]

@@NafisasPearlz I have been watching this channel since my undergrad days.

[@aishaabdirahmanyussuf9117]

Thanks nafisa. I really related to the video 💯

[@cashout9860]

Best video.thanks

[@bbjattachannel3602]

May Almighty Allah bless you my sister thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@SaloneDutchess]

Thanks for sharing Nafissa❤

[@hayat1366]

Salam Nafisa,I'm an italian revert.I'm 38,single,I revert when I was 35..I would like to tell you that you have a pure heart and you're so sensitive.Shoukran for your kind words🫶

[@SheCanSmile]

nabi saw and khadija ra. case closed.

[@Fiizzaayy]

Could you do a video regarding how to find a husband?

[@Jaay2022]

Assalamualaikum ❤

[@saimaahmed8759]

Sound is too low

[@hadyasan6879]

Waalaikum Salaam How’s the baby doing? ❤

[@NafisasPearlz]

Alhamdulilah. Thank you for asking

[@kiranlifevlogs]

Nafisa sister I find you very beautiful 😊

[@aishasaho6518]

❤️

[@mirzabeg2274]

❤❤❤❤

[@BlueBlue23]

Let us be fair with the people who make comments, not everyone is trying to get you.Some people are just clumsy but they do have good intentions. It would be very sad that on top of being single now we also turn bitter and hostile towards anyone commenting on our situation!!! We still need to look after our friendships and other relationships. Please be balanced. And as for being picky. Having not realistic expectations these days is an epidemic. Just compared the expectations your mothers or grandmothers had and the expectations of the average western Muslim woman these days.😮

[@HAli3291]

I haven't watched this yet. Will make myself a strong cuppa or two. Or maybe three. Can someone dubb this in Bengali please? 🙄 (Not that it will make a difference).

[@NafisasPearlz]

Enjoy

[@TimTim__]

What are you trying to say actually?

[@HKAMILAH]

Heavy on the refraining explaining. Wow, I can't believe that woman offered her husband to you, lol.

[@olatokunboakinseye7244]

🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🤍🦢🦢🤍🦢✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅😂🌷🌺☘️🌼🌸💐🌹

[@not_mybrother7705]

Grab a marriage broom and fly off 😂

[@thedon8384]

This is why you never take marriage advice from old/single/eleftover women. They give the worst advice. A woman in her late 20 or 30 years OLD are biologically useless. 80 to 90% of their eggs are gone. This is very bad for the man to marry into and the possibility of her bringing a child safely to term goes down significantly. The child might have some defects like ausitsm etc. - Telling women not to panic is the worst advice as they should be looking for marriage in their early 20s where they have the highest value. There is so much wrong in this video it is actually embarrassing.

[@thedon8384]

@@simonwilson7581 The exception does not make the rule. most men and women are fertile. The women and men who are infertile is just too bad, they are in the minority so it doest affect the general rule. the point I was making is women shouldn't wait in their late 20s to start looking for marriage as by then they are in their decline in the marriage market and are biologically useless as most of their eggs are gone. Men have preferences so it would make sense for women to act accordingly for the men they want which is women being young and fertile etc. Supply and demand.

[@Hananay]

Listen marriage is by the qadr of Allah, if a woman gets married in her late 20s or older, then that’s what Allah SWT decreed for her. Also I’ve seen people who have had children in their 20s and their children still ended up having autism so there’s hardly a correlation whatsoever. On average a woman’s fertility rate doesn’t even decrease until she’s 35 so a woman who’s aged 30 or 20 is basically the same in fertility so go and do some research about “biologically useless” bc your research is incorrect.

[@thedon8384]

@@Hananay Your a literally factually wrong and I have done the research. I know this might be triggering for you but I need you to get out of your feelings for 2 seconds and use some critical thinking. It is a fact that by the time the woman turns 30 90% of her eggs are gone. So she is by definition biologically useless. And your personal subjective anecdotal experience means nothing, of course there are exception to the rule but the exception does not make the rule it only proves the rule further. What you explained is something what is staticitaly insignificant. Allah swt tells us to also be practical, so as the woman gets older then so should her standard in the type of guy she gets married to as men don't want to or are attracted to women who are old. If the woman wants to give away her prime years to education and career then that is totally fine but don't expect men of value to except you on your decline when you didn't want to get married in your prime. Simple. These women are leftover women and its don't he rise in the west sadly. sources: abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/women-fertility-falls-lose-90-percent-eggs-30/story?id=9693015 www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-many-eggs-does-a-woman-have#eggs-at-30

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

Guess what? Sperm quality declines with age too Does this deem men biologically useless too? Not at all Still, studies show sperm quality is decreasing rapidly around the world There is no correlation between the woman's age and autism so educate yourself because your comments only show your ignorance P.S. The video creator is a married woman and has recently given birth so I suggest you do your research before passing a judgement

[@thedon8384]

@@SandraStachowiczLtd The exception does not make the rule. So what she has given birth. I never said it is impossible. Probably is not the same as possible. by age 30, 90 percent of the eggs a woman has is gone. So yes she is biologically useless. This is a fact and not up for debate. Men sperm count is not the issue as men can easily fix the issue is they actually took care of their body however the woman can not fight father time and no matter a women can never stop getting older and losing eggs. Simple.