3 ways a Covert Narcissist subtly Disrespects You

[@narcabusecoach]

Link to my best resources: linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

[@FollowingJesus320]

My X Narc's mother would leave out ingredients in recipes so that my meal was wrong and the X used to say that my food didn't taste right.

[@angeldee7287]

Your mom sounds like my mom. 😊 thanks for your video Have a nice day today

[@angeldee7287]

@@FollowingJesus320yes

[@Godsunicorn.7]

Thank you!

[@sushmayen]

They also use fake tears to make you feel like the bad guy. We empaths should be careful not to feel sorry for them

[@user-ly7en7bg1j]

Exactly!

[@flowerpower4944]

Yes they do this,always the innocent ,victim

[@namastea]

So true

[@janiceh.45]

Definitely I noticed with my mom, and one long relationship with a man. He would fake being overly upset about something. These videos are real good eye openers!

[@peachesandpoets]

My mum tried it the other day and I just looked at her. She stopped

[@happyclappy1805]

Took me 50 years to realise that my favourite sister is a covert narc. We spent many years commiserating over our sister who is an overt, charismatic, bullying narc. Turns out that I have been the fool for decades, both of their supply. The covert narc has been supportive, lent me money, been my cheerleader in our narc family. Except she did that for as long as I didn't point out her own awful behaviours, critical spirit, lack of compassion, self absorptionand epic silent treatment . I called her out and instantly became exposed to her venom. 5 months later and we haven't spoken. And amazingly, I don't miss her. We used to speak daily, hang out every weekend, do vacations. Very intense. It's freed up space for other friends, interests and new energies. One day at a time

[@JohnSmith-bm6zg]

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

[@happym3008]

Thank YOU I really needed to hear this I’m Having a really bad Day 🙃👍

[@nicholecornes1915]

No you guys its not your fault

[@dulceoliveira3601]

😊

[@tarey05]

Those countless and needless impulsive interruptions to satsfy their insatiable desire to demonstrate their superiority are so damaging! They never grow tired of performing for strangers while neglecting and demeaning those closest to them. Rotten to the core.

[@turtleanton6539]

Indeed

[@user-dl7uk9xf9q]

My mother always interrupts when you are talking, all the fckn time.... Aaaaaaalll the time friend

[@naturalhealingmexico]

Narcs love to see you sad and down, they hate seeing others(empaths) enjoying life. They put you down with drama, chaos and schemes....also i had noticed they disrespect you by taking your time (always late or make you wait for them, that makes them feel important) , by taking your money (always asking for borrowing money or not paying at time). And they disrespect you by envy what you are or have, they are wicked creatures.

[@addiellaplante901]

Anytime I would buy something for myself, no matter what it was, all of a sudden he needed it, had been looking for that exact thing. So of course I would let him have it, then later find it laying somewhere off to the side not being used for anything.

[@addiellaplante901]

He complained all the time about how expensive it was to do laundry at the laundry mat, but never paid for the laundry to be washed and dried. Or bought any detergent or fabric softener, or gas to get there. Didn't like paying for anything to do with things we needed for the house, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels. But had no problem using the items and would not tell me that there was no more of said item, would just let me find out when I would need it, so I would then have to run to the store and get more.

[@rapstar4575]

They burn bridges then wanna come back.

[@kobra4422]

I've learned whenever I had the feeling of inadequacy, being left out in the group or someone giving passive agressive, subliminal vibes, they 100% knew what they were doing. They wanted to make me feel like a shit. I've realized it while dealing with ex supervisor who was doing it in obvious way, but it made me go back to my younger years when I had no idea people do it on purpose. When you realize it's their intention to make you feel shitty, ruin your day, it doesn't affect you that much.

[@Wasp239]

for some reason it upsets me more to know that people do it on purpose

[@laminage]

@@Wasp239 I was in the same boat growing up. It was very hurtful and cruel with my cousins. They later admitted that they were jealous because I was the Favorite Grandchild, and I had my "Real" father and some didn't, and they had fathers who were alcoholics. When I gave them a dose of their own medicine they were hurt but they knew they had no right to complain. They do it by lying, not keeping a promise, and always giving some lame excuse especially when they can't pay you back.

[@kobra4422]

​@@laminageexactly. Usually they think you have a better life for some silly reason and punish you for it even if it's just in their head.

[@kayinattv1]

Absolutely there's no other Reason for Hot And Cold Behavior When You Care You Care Always Not Sometimes When It's Convenient

[@kayinattv1]

@@Wasp239 so true it's depressing

[@juliatamalo7916]

It is a clash on the spiritual realm when we deal with them

[@rahasovereign9510]

Yes exactly. Satanic vs God

[@priyanesan3299]

Yes! Spiritual warfare and we never knew that we were in it for so long.

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

Southern Psychos always pull this move: I'm praying for you. I've put you on my church's prayer list. (This is without your solicitation). I've had several witches that commited identity theft and grant fraud using MY teaching credentials, college degree, resume and lesson plans, etc. CALL my family, ex-husband, childhood friends and current employer because they are "worried" about my well being. This was out of the blue, there had been zero confrontation,.etc. I didn't know about the grant fraud/identity theft AND I didn't find out years after their false concern, that raised all kinds of flags about my mental health and well being.

[@karlashmeedavlasta6365]

In my relationship I never got validated even once! Always felt like talking to a vacuum, and saying something really stupid, too But one time she said, that in her job, as a care giver to people with dementia, how important it is, that she validated them no matter what.... This left me really bamboozled. Now I knew, that she knew the concept of validation....but me, she still wasn't. Hurtful, abusive...done my share, now I am doing no contact for good.

[@joseenoel8093]

Good, only a person with dementia would be impressed by her anyway!

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

I 1000% understand and relate. Being invalidated makes you feel like you don't exist. Hurts to know that they did it on purpose.

[@paulastarkey9973]

Good for you. It's one of their weapons to flag capacity for respect just not for you.

[@murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182]

They're all cut from the same cloth. I guarantee she told you about her role as a caregiver as a passive-aggressive way to tell you that not only does she know what validation is, but that she knows she's deliberately withholding it from you and wants you to know she is, just to further poke at you. Death by a thousand cuts. They're sadistic as fuck!

[@kathleen4611]

God bless your heart honestly I waited 10 years for validation to this day I can't believe it just a trick to f*** with my mind.

[@staceyhelsley1077]

I remember being out to dinner & having a conversation with my Narc, he would stop listening to me & watch another woman walk past us & say “you should wear that” Yep don’t miss that at all!

[@preetsomal9483]

True they do that look at another woman even you are there for them foolish because they loose real love

[@murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182]

This is exactly what my significant other has done to me for years. He has a constant yawning habit that I call him out for all the time, or he stretches, but a lot of times he literally picks up his phone and starts looking at it in the middle of my talking or walks out of the room mid sentence.

[@Melly16yr10]

Dump him but do it quietly

[@Saffy-yr8vo]

A family member does that to me I don’t see them hardly at all. But they still do if. It’s just plain rude.

[@stargazer3887]

Once, my sister watching me while I was enjoying a soup she had made herself, I noticed her eyes full of envy. Even if I was praising her cooking, she couldn't stand seeing me smiley, vivid and happy. It was the day of her birthday and I gifted her a beautiful jewel with a butterfly. She only said: "I hate insects" and left the box on the table.

[@freud5898]

One time I made fresh peach ice cream. The comments at the table of kinfolks included, "I hate ice cream -- especially peach!" It was so outrageously comical, I declared it to be a joke worth repeating for decades. You don't like something? Oh, yeah, I hate ice cream -- especially peach! 🍑😀

[@stargazer3887]

😵‍💫@@freud5898

[@DaughterofZyion]

​@@freud5898😂😂😂😂 you fall into their trap

[@aartivyas7190]

A woman I used to call and believe was my mother did similar things to me. They are Bag of hatred , vile creatures

[@christinalw19]

That reminds me: when our mother passed at 101, the rose I planted in honor of her 1/2 Irish ancestry “ St. Patrick,” bloomed the last rose of the year. It was beautiful. I took a picture and sent to my sister in a text with the sentiment I just explained. Her reply was “ I DON’T LIKE YELLOW ROSES.” What a bitch, & SHE was the golden child, I the empath scapegoat. Same year, we got a new suv, my husband picked it out and we drove to the desert to visit. Same thing, only I never asked for her opinion: “I don’t like blue cars.” Petty & nasty. 😖

[@jolene7256]

The narc in my life turned the television as high as it would go to drown me out. Now, years later, we have no conversations . Why bother? I have nothing to say to him.

[@narcicide8814]

Walk away from him forever starting today. Don't waste another moment of your precious time and life with this piece of trash.

[@anapantelic782]

How many times have I been there? Fun isn’t it? I finally divorced him 20 years ago and left the country. Now I don’t give a damn.

[@AmberBlackerby]

When I would be driving us somewhere that I didn’t know the way very well - he was supposed to be telling me which way to go, but he would stop giving directions so that I would end up going the wrong way and he would yell at me for not knowing what I was doing or not asking him. But he already knew he was supposed to be giving directions and was in the beginning. He did this so many times just to have a reason to start and argument and upset me

[@lastthingsministry]

Never rely on them for anything. Next time make sure you know where are driving to so he can't abuse you like this.

[@djmandyland]

YES!! My ex use to ask me questions or ask my opinion on something and then when I would answer and he obviously didn't like what I have to say he would FREAK out at me. Then during the rare normal conversation he would burp and loudly blow it into the phone at me while I was talking and then he'd make weird mouth noises and I'd just be like.... um excuse you? Who does that? Then he would yell at me and say I was trying to control his bodily functions and because of that I'm a manipulative and controlling person for not allowing him to "be himself" smhhhhh. That crap really got to my head for a LONG time he would always say "you're trying to change who I am! You are trying to control me!" whenever he would call me a mean name and I'd say don't call me a mean name! "You can't tell me how I can and can't talk!" mind-blowing.

[@Jrocket12345]

My ex on a few occasions, my ex would pick her nose and eat her boogers in front of me!!! Gross. Grown woman.

[@tonyv5202]

We should study this guy and make a documentary about him. It would be hilarious 😅

[@CaseyLee-bd5fi]

Yes. Total disinterest in my happy stories but love to hear drama or negativity. Especially if they get you talking about their victimhood

[@Liz-in8lu]

Wow, yeah! I tell them about something positive, I get crickets. I complain about something and they are there listening. Of course take the focus off me and talk more about it.

[@jenniferwilson5918]

My Ex used to always yawn, look at his nails or phone as I was telling him a story or something important. He would also talk over me, interrupt me, or just walk away. He never looked me in the eye.

[@gate7551]

Same

[@Saffy-yr8vo]

The lack of eye contact. So hurtful.

[@rochelle3431]

My mother would disregard me in front of my children. I would happily start a conversation with her and she would cut me off looking around the room to talk to my children. She didn’t give a damn about me or my children she just wanted to continue this generational narcissistic disrespect so my kids would disrespect me. Now my oldest son look at me like I have no importance 🥲

[@ShalimarPicasso]

Great video. When I announced to my now ex narc husband that I was pregnant [a child we both wanted and waited for], he looked at me as if I had invited him to a funeral. No words, no congratulations, no flowers, just a poker face without any emotion. It's only weeks later on when his family called me to congratulate me, and I was told that he was "overjoyed "!....he told all his family how happy he was and to me - nothing....

[@naturalhealingmexico]

They never celebrate your happiness, but rather they want to take it away from you with their pathetic emotionless attitudes, I am an path and I mimic them when in front of me, I am proudly narcphobic. They are very insecure so easy to punch them around with a bit of psychological acupuncture. They feel nothing either way...

[@Godismystrength2222]

The way they treat their "family" is always going to be different than how they treat their significant other :( . It's such a strange dynamic. They must appear as a Saint to the outside world while their spouse bears the brunt of their hypersensitivity and emotional constipation.

[@irenahabe2855]

Same here. Was not talking to me about my pregnancy, the baby... but this was the top topic at this work. 🤦‍♀️

[@archanamehtapatel6469]

I had a narcissist husband and a mother a covert narcisstic. I fell ill physically snd left the marriage . I almost lost my life . I turned to spirituality found peace being alone now . But I have to go help my old mom back to covert . I feel very disrespected by both of them . I am a survivor always running from one to another . Best place is with God

[@jenniferwilson5918]

When I tried to ask my Ex what we could do for my Birthday, he would say, "What are you going to do for me? SERIOUSLY????

[@GodsgiftDiamondB]

Omg mine said this too smh

[@kathleen4611]

Just an idiot.

[@i.l.9546]

When I asked him the night before my birthday dinner to have a look if everyone is ok during that Event he was "Why would I. I am a guest". I left him 😊

[@1missy40]

Omdssss I don’t know how you women stay with these prunes 😮 we are the PRIZE not them fooeeelllllssss 🎉

[@lindamoore9729]

My narcissist will turn the tv louder or change the channel and when I ask if he's listening to me he'll say he can do 2 things at the same time... can't you do that??? lol

[@joseenoel8093]

Mine did something like that, I returned the noise favour/reminder at 3 a.m., adult teaching adult hard ball goes both ways!

[@lindamoore9729]

The thing of it is that you will never win with them no matter what you do or say. It's best to just avoid them like the plague, stay away, have as little as possible to do with them so you don't pick up their nasty traits. They are evil!@@joseenoel8093

[@Ninabeana13]

Wow same here, or he will completely not look at me and be scrolling on his phone, no acknowledgment or not even a nod. I’ll say do you even hear me. He’ll say the same thing “ what you can’t do 2 things at once?” Then I’ll ask him to repeat and he’ll say something like “ I don’t have to answer or acknowledge everything you say because you’re always talking all the time about nonsense “!!!

[@lindamoore9729]

They never look at you when you're talking to them. I rarely talk to him unless it absolutely necessary and I stay in another room from him. I'm stuck here because of lack of money but I stay away from him as much as possible. Good friends are such an asset in my situation. I have one friend who is in the same position as I am and it's not possible to leave without causing more stress than we're already in, but if I were younger, (I'm 70) I would leave for sure!!@@Ninabeana13

[@marciasimpson8852]

Mine turned up the tv when His family was over. We were bothering him🙄

[@laurengarrett9005]

On our anniversary I gave him a nice gift and he didn't get me anything but he happened to buy himself speakers for his car and he said "you can have these speakers." I never asked for speakers . He never put any thought into a gift. It was insulting.

[@preetsomal9483]

Same here

[@familyofmany4646]

Looking at their watch repeatedly 😭 Even when he wasn’t wearing a watch. Then getting mad at ME for pointing out that fact. He vehemently denied it for the longest time, and then I got it on video once and the rage I saw in him was just scary. Thank you Danish for making me feel validated and somewhat sane ❤️

[@eleonorabartoli2225]

Yes, it is strange that they do not care enough for you to help you prevent a mistake, and the pain that goes with it.

[@lisamr40]

My entire life, I grew up with being interrupted. I would be talking, and my parents would just start talking to others. I would have to say, "umm HELLO, I was talking!!" Then I met my husband. I try to talk to him and he justeither doesnt listen at all, claiming he didnt hear me or he interrupts me. Usually, he butts in and starts with his negative thoughts about what i was trying to discuss with him. I swear he does it on purpose so we wont talk to him about anything. So he doesnt have to be responsible for anything. Sad thing is, he not only does it to me but he does this crap to all 4 of his kids. None of them want to deal with him. Thanks Danish. Before i wasnt sure what was going on. Now, that you have dicussed it, it makes sense!

[@J.Franco-e4t]

No more unappreciated gifts 👋

[@Luxie1305]

I think every child of narcissistic parents develop that 'I'm sorry look' to the people their parents encounter. I always felt embarrassed and ashamed of how my parents spoke to and treated other people. They were condescending and rude.

[@jasonkresock2196]

You nailed this. My experience was even more “covert “ with it. It was a sloooow drip of torture. It took me a while to catch it through negative feelings, see it, accept it, and navigate my exit. Now I’m experiencing cyber stalking and surprise meetings dripping with victimization and blame. May Every Soul Find Escape

[@fatiss8595]

Say less friend💔🩹 👁👀🙄 🙏⛓

[@wangiseruni]

True. That cyber stalking...and he's an IT person so, it's not working to block every of his cloning.

[@paulastarkey9973]

They love to play martyr.

[@HzFvr]

We MUST learn to recognize the signs, especially of a covert! Each narc thinks they are special and unique, but they ALL HAVE THE SAME PATTERNS !

[@melissagray8411]

Thank you for your vulnerability. I'm 52 and the best thing I've done for my recovery from alcohol is to grey rock my mom.

[@NatEl-xq2zd]

Yes he was always yawning during those times when we should’ve been getting closer.

[@Michelle-hf5jk]

same

[@AllNicTaken]

We don’t need their respect. We just need to move on

[@cherryred5835]

They try to make you feel incompetent!

[@Lyrielonwind]

They always love interrupting you and they can keep questioning without listening and interrupt you continually until you are confused and uncomfortable. They will cut off whoever talks to you from the beginning. They allow them to ask how are you and when you are about to answer, they will call them or ask that person a question so you are excluded.

[@sashaclarke2749]

Soo freaking true!

[@junebuggy8498]

My father pretty much, he will do this till he gets a concession or the answer he wants, there is no real discussion.

[@RiaLucky]

Empaths and Narcissist.. idk why they cross paths. Just soo sooo soooooo disastrous

[@joseenoel8093]

Cuz no one else will put up with them even if it's for a little while like we do, lucky us!

[@homespace1268]

Two narcissists together works as they are both evil but then it's double the trouble for all of their ex's as they will both continue to use and abuse their ex's... it's sick.

[@ericb8413]

Plausible deniability is exactly what they do. It’s like trying to nail jello to the wall to confront them on their bad behavior because they just deny everything. It will make you feel crazy. Just remember you aren’t crazy and they know what they’re doing. Just get away from them if you can.

[@olnasty]

Darvo deny, accuse, reverse victim oppressor. Weird how they all do the same like they went to a class.

[@anneofgreengables1619]

This thing with the gifts just happened recently to me. I went to Ireland and brought him back a special baseball cap from the Guinness store which was quite expensive. When I gave it to him he just sat there looking at it with the poker face you describe. He didn't even say thank you. Time froze for me. I was in disbelief at his attitude. I have since gone no contact because I've had enough of this horrible behavior.

[@edemontfort9482]

This explains why they fall all over and worship anyone who flatters them and takes their side. Their flying monkey who gangs up with them to attack someone or make that person feel unimportant or intimidated.

[@MJG1]

Once my narcissist ex said: stop being so happy and smiley, i hate it when you are like this🥴. He always wanted everyone depressed because he was always stressed and depressed

[@einstein63]

They just 'tune out' when other people talk about things that don't involve them. Once my Narc was with me visiting his 'old' friends. They were talking about some noise issues they were having from a nearby sawmill and that they had complained to the council about it but nothing had been resolved. When they finished telling the whole story, my narc asked them why they didn't complain to the council?????? I just had to blurt out that they had already said that! He was quick to reply..Of course😜😜 He had not listened to a word they had said....pretty funny but of course I couldn't laugh out loud...just inside my head 🤣🤣

[@shelfau]

My mother talked for years about a certain coffee pot. I brought the exact one she wanted for Christmas. It was expensive and when she got it she put it on top of the refrigerator and never used it. I was upset that she never took it out of the box. I never got her anything else that was very expensive again because I felt it would not be appreciated. I felt she was very ungrateful.

[@csc8697]

That really weird. I could see how that would hurt your feelings.

[@iamjustsaying4787]

@shellyfoust6812 Did you ever ask her why she didn’t use it?

[@ladyloungealot5119]

The person I am talking about, used to do the following: On the phone, when my turn to talk came, I was telling her about something important to me. After a minute or two, I could hear her... talking to somebody else! She just put the phone aside, and I was talking to an empty space. How disrespectful was that. On other occasions, she would use the speaker without warning me that a crowd was listening to something potentially private. She would also inform me that she was not interested in my problems, so I was not to bother her, because she had her own. At the same time she used me as a shoulder to cry on.

[@sashaclarke2749]

Three family members do this to me!😩

[@Michelle-hf5jk]

omfg the speaker phone shit.

[@goddessv7236]

The narc demon did all 3 , i would speak and it would start talking to someone else at the same time , so now when that narc tries to talk i walk off or i start looking at my phone and watching skits, its gets an injury from that 😅, Gifts... i would buy that narc gifts and what danish said is 100% true, it had a look of disgrace on its face and acted like it didnt want the gifts, in the day i would ask if it liked them and it would say yes but... so i took back the gifts got my money back and i do not buy nothing for that demon, me and my children enjoy our birthdays and other occasions without that demon causing stress, we all ignore it sitting in the corner looking like a victim😅😅 I dont talk to it , i dont include it in our daily routines , i dont go anywhere with it, i see its begining to crumble its getting weaker! While i get stronger , never under estimate a powerful empath!

[@toritori5835]

Having had that occur so often & know how small it makes me feel, I purposely become the _safety person_ when it occurs to others. When someone cuts another off or talks over them and their eyes search for someone to hear, I will always be that person whose eyes will meet theirs - even if I don’t really care or know them. It is one of the worst feelings to feel like you’re a non-person & that is how it makes you feel.

[@DerSpielMann]

8:27 "you are inherently wrong" ---so well put! You are wrong by being, just by being you, and merely existing alongside them.

[@mahiaggarwal6286]

My mom is a covert narc. Few days back, I was showing her the list of songs I sang. She heard them, but said that she doesn't hear anything properly, and she didn't even appreciate me or anything. She just said that tune voice is loud than your voice.

[@ColleenC-n5v]

Yes, it is truly a minefield of disrespect and cruel down-putting. Going gray rock doesn’t make the pain and post-humiliation go away.

[@marilynlorraine]

my manager will literally turn his back if I say anything during one of his monologues. My mother would just start talking over my father when he was speaking to me, or anyone else. Eventually I would shush her.

[@JACINDA-e1l]

I am 56 years old and no matter what I have done or how hard I try I could or can't make my dad proud of me. He doesn't like any gifts I may give him, he puts them down. I have stopped trying to make him proud, I have stopped trying to get any validation from him. I reached a point that I don't need it. I can be proud of myself and know that I did my best within my abilities. Reaching this point, I have to give God all the credit. My peace is more precious than needing validation from my dad.

[@Saffy-yr8vo]

I think if you can you e just got to forgive your parents and maybe just distance yourself a bit. Especially if you’re not living with them. But don’t accept it from anyone else.

[@jessicawerling9495]

Woooow 😮 Thank you! That first point especially resonates for me. Gah! It's so frustrating to be suddenly ignored or interrupted like that. I think, "Were you ever listening? You said you wanted to get closer and yet I feel completely invisible now." 🙄 Thank you for your videos, Danish. They are very helpful and healing.

[@shivawng749]

My husband will start talking before I am done. When confronted he says "oh I thought you were done" Like, did you still hear sounds coming out of my mouth? No I wasn't done. He does this so often

[@01splitpea]

My sister preferred the third tactic. She had google maps on her phone, but I was not yet familiar with it. We were attempting to find a destination I'd volunteered my old TomTom to locate. When we were nearly there, I discovered my TomTom was broken. I apologized profusely. Crickets. Embarrassed, I apologized again. Angry silence. I called our destination, but was given unintelligible directions. We drove around some more. I apologized again, groveling repeatedly. Still angry silence. Suddenly, after 20 minutes of this torture, sure I'd spoiled our entire day, and horribly embarassed at being terrible with technology, suddenly, she busts out her phone, pulls up google maps, and took us straight to our destination.

[@Lyrielonwind]

That's mean and evil 🙈

[@marciasimpson8852]

Evil.

[@m.f.richardson1602]

My so called 'best friend' did this to Me all time. After starting my healing journey. I know now what she was doing. She died before I could cut her off. Rats

[@homespace1268]

Lucky you!

[@liyasha6562]

A person who calls herself a friend of mine often does point nr 1 to me. Just interrupts me when I start saying something about myself. And the worst thing she does is while I’m saying something she takes her phone and starts checking her Instagram or texting to someone 🙈

[@rahasovereign9510]

She’s not a friend. Get rid of her. You don’t need someone like that in your life.

[@karenhart2923]

these people are NASTY .... still learning how to navigate myself through the bs

[@Sidmimo]

Thank you for saying “ you don’t need to prove it “. At a point I was soo confused,helpless and bashed down that I seeked validation from people around me and no one really did give me that.

[@freud5898]

Eventually, I would be amused when I saw them in action. One time all the kinfolks attended a wedding. The (disrespecting) narcissist saw me and decided I was the 'highest-ranking' person to sit/converse with. I knew other guests would soon arrive (that they considered to be higher ranking). I just waited and watched. Sure enough, the conversation shifted from me/anything I thought/said to the new arrivals. The narcissist suddenly got real quiet and moved away from me as soon as possible. At the reception, I didn't even rate a minute of their now-expanded attention. It was so comical, I didn't even care (since I was used to their carryings on by then). It pays to figure these people out ahead of time. Then, with lowered expectations, you can avoid taking so much of their behavior personally -- since THEIR behavior isn't YOUR fault.

[@norcal1009]

So bazaar, and it's even scarier witnessing when they decide that THEY are the highest ranking (which is ultimately what they want apparently). Only a narcissist and/or psychopath thinks like this in my lifelong experience around people.

[@joseenoel8093]

Right on, well said, once at dinner, Xmas no less, sis was talking about bro's big you know what and I split, grabbed a leg to watch TV 📺, wasn't sis then telling my new boyfriend (now husband and father of my 2 kids) that I was barren (huh?), I never even confronted her about it, their stupidity proceeds any worth having conversations, why waste your time?

[@joseenoel8093]

​@@norcal1009all fantasy, theirs! Imagine going through life like that, no wonder they're bent on brain washing us into submission, how else could we handle their crap! 😊

[@monicarai1497]

Yeap. True that 😅

[@freud5898]

@@norcal1009 How true!!! As I mentioned in a reply to a similar question, I especially enjoyed Alice Roosevelt Longworth's comical assessment of her own father, President Teddy Roosevelt. She said, "He wanted to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral." 😀

[@hannahhigg2270]

Thank you very much. Point 3, they don't only watch you do the mistakes, they lead you into it, sometimes turn a blind eye when they see something wrong, and mention it publicly so that everyone agrees with them that you're wrong. Meanwhile, it's them, always them due to jealousy. Thank you very much ❤

[@viralcuts2208]

Yes same thing happened to me.

[@Mo_Lake]

"They lead you into it"....just to make sure it is fulfilled....that's kind of evil isn't it!!!!!!!!

[@hannahhigg2270]

Yes they are master in their craftiness, they plan and execute it, as they watch to see, each of their evil act being fulfilled. But God won't allow them

[@Mo_Lake]

The Omnipotent won't allow such in a long run, and that's what It is period!! I saw it happen in my life and He answers very quick. It was just under a year with me and the devil when He responded to all of the idiotic moved that was made on me.

[@aartivyas7190]

A woman I called mother did it to me all my life. Not too long ago I couldn't tolerate her disrespect anymore.

[@FlowersAmazing]

Yes... evil ppl... keep them away... how can a mother be that? Crazy!

[@paulbrouyere1735]

You really are a good healer. I’m getting into my power again. Thank you!

[@ceecee6679]

My mother couldn't be bothered with my sister's death because the event couldn't be all about mother. Imagine a mother going to a hair appointment versus going to see her first born child who just woke from a coma. My sister, the one blamed for everything in our family, helped me to break free of our narcissist mother. Rock bottom, we hear it all the time, what does it take, well kids, death is not rock bottom for a narcissist.

[@saraliburd7752]

Well my mother didn’t go to her sisters funeral and had a memorial gathering at her house🥴

[@JaneDoe-c]

Oh my goodness! Same here! My sister attempted suicide and was in the ICU hanging by a thread. My mother was only concerned about herself and her image as always. She didn't give a fuck that her child was gravely ill. She wasn't even gonna fly out to see her. She only went because she heard I was going and she didn't want to look bad.

[@a.r.tavares1322]

@@JaneDoe-c Oh my God, I hope you sister fully recovered. Dealing with narcs really drains you.

[@JaneDoe-c]

@@a.r.tavares1322 thank you. My sister survived and lives with me now. She said she feels good mentally here with me and my cats 💚

[@f.frederickskitty2910]

My husband's response no matter what the gift is, "It's okay". 😢

[@gracegwozdz8185]

That's so my narc sister! To a T. As soon as I start talking she stretches, wretches, stares into iPad. Never listening.

[@h5215]

2nd point I experienced 1st as well So unfortunate to have dealt with narcissists my whole life. I believed the crocodile tears to be true realisation and got trapped very badly that it destroyed all aspects of my life. Never ever trust a crying female narcissist.

[@ishrathjahan2328]

Few more examples- the candles on a cake are not blown because you forgot but they know and they tell you after the cake is cut to point out your mistake infront of everyone and when you ask them, they disrespect you even more by subtle comments, oh! don't you know that? Like you're supposed to know,rang mein bhang daalna seekhiye aise logon se. One more when you do some favor for them and when its their turn to do, they don't help and if you remind them, they say oh iasked for help thinking you're my sister. Completely disregard your favor and victimize themselves and prove that you're not a good sister. And one more example, saying things like Baan Pata Hai sap mahaan ho, hum hi Bure gain, hum hi ghalat hain etc., etc., and the list is endless. They just victimize and push everything on you.

[@peppermintgirl572]

When your mom or other people walks away and ignores you, like as if what u say is not important, how do cope and not let it bother you 😢?????!!!!

[@Saffy-yr8vo]

My mum was like that. I thought think she was a bit unhinged. I’d say she’s your mum just try and ignore it But don’t take it from anyone else.

[@CarolOwen-cj4sq]

I put up with my son and his wife only to look at my grandkids. She has done her best to keep the kids from me

[@kellyandaaron2005]

It was almost impossible to have a conversation with my ex without him looking at his phone the entire time. Toward the end of our relationship, he would just get up in the middle of me telling him about my day & walk away.

[@lisamariesmith3610]

I love it what bit you perfectly said. We should invent a narc insect spray.

[@isabelolsson1890]

I have gone through everything that you mentioned, and I know and remember how painful and humiliating it was, they would say.... Didn't I deserve anything better.... more expensive.....God knows they did not deserve a thing... ❤

[@nji7772]

He kept me "seperate" from everyone while in public! Placing himself between me and all others. He could not stand anyone talking to me.

[@mercherolvaag4717]

Amazing! I have (now estranged) relatives who used to engage in the same ignoring behaviors. I also have a co-worker who does the same thing. Also, he has a strange habit of acting like he is in pain while doing it. He refers often to an old combat injury that he got many years ago. That is something that I must respect in the environment where I work. He uses it for manipulative purposes for sure, and to win favor with superiors who feel sorry for him and honor his service. I didn't know that such behaviors were actually part of a cluster. I thought that this was just an idiosyncrasy of his alone. Very informative insight, and helpful.

[@joseenoel8093]

Funny I just had the back door slam on my ankle walking out barefoot, it is painful but to see it happen to covert mom she'd be hoping on one foot as if her foot was broken or something, they're always in need of exaggerated attention.

[@primitivedogs4638]

My married friend asked me for The reciept to go and complan about The pot plant she got from me. She is remarried with my ex now. She worked to take over my housband in years.

[@kayinattv1]

Absolutely True 💯 Witnessed This Behavior

[@DanaWander-c6f]

Being ungrateful is rude. If u receive a gift ur not fond of. Quietly send it back & get something g u like or want. It's ur gift, u can do what u want with it. He doesn't get to decide my likes & dislikes.

[@kimberly5465]

This hit hard. I always internalized it all. I see it now.

[@charlie-girl72]

Many details in this,happend to me. Parents, ex hub , former in laws. Fake friends. I'm glad to be without most of them. My journey isn't over yet.. thank you danish

[@gh0str1c]

i experience this (edit*) number one, almost everyday, sparing seemingly endless details... the phone is a weapon as well.

[@shahp84]

2:37 Yes, this is exactly happened many times. 😢😮😢 Also, adding one more point, they start talking with you only on totally different topic which doesn't have any concern with what you were sharing with them. The way they start talking about new topic with you is like they are not even aware that you were already talking about one of the topic.

[@jayashreethakkar7783]

I suddenly recalled an incident.... I ordered a cake and his name inscribed water bottle as a welcome home surprise gift... I was away at my work I took so much trouble and saw the gifts reach home on time... when the gifts were on the door ex narc made the person wait shutting the door on the face and called me saying to ask the person to take back the gifts... I had to request that person his higher authorities to take back the order.. my money my happiness my emotions all were drained down the flush when I returned home he behaved as though nothing happened he was normal... I feel to slap myself for not understanding the red-flag long back😭

[@urvashi-rb9qy]

i just realized my mum was a covert narcissist.. she was always playing the victim for the fights she had with our overt narcissistic father and manipulated me against him. its so sad to see that we protected a monster who was only using her children to make her feel emotionally satisfied and use us(my sister and i) to hurt our father and fight her fights. she also pretended to be really nice and got us to reveal our secrets and pain only to throw it to us when we were at our lowest. she really hated everyone except herself and its now showing.

[@lydiagall4335]

I remember a situation with an ex narc who had a gay sister he was travelling to visit. On a previous trip, I had given him a rainbow colored bag to gift to her and he came back saying how over the moon she was, and he showered me with praise about how thoughtful I had been. This lead me to give him a pair of rainbow earrings for his second trip. This was the last time I saw him ( I didn't know at the time when incident happened) - he took the earrings, gave me a sort of condenscending smile and just threw the thing in the bag like it was a piece of trash. I remember feeling so small when it happened, it really stung but i just thought i was overreacting.

[@shriharidasradharani]

1# Whenever i used to talk to that narc or with other family member, she used to start yawning or laughing or changing topics and nobody give a shit about this derogatory behaviour of hers now I stop talking to anyone in family. Living alone in between them. 2# Everytime or anytime I have tried to do some good for her as a gesture of respect she always belittled me , made fun of me, Gaslighted me, demean me by saying couple of things. Untill few months ago, before I found about d whole new World of narcissism, I used to thought that this person is simply thankless nd evil. 3# that shallow laughing knowing that u r doing something wrong or forget something to take u, to belittle you was always there, I myself have faced this so many times and saw that narc person doing this with others also. So I think I can conclude that this narc in my life is covert narc, d most dangerous type of narcissist. I pray to God everyday to plz give me strength nd means to leave this place asap nd for forever. My mental health is only deteriorating here everyday, every second of time.

[@Tawanda99]

Danish, you are such an empath, I’m so glad you broke the cycle of your narcissistic family! I so enjoy your informative videos. I can resonate with all of them and it helps me feel that I’m not alone. My feelings are warranted! Thank you and God bless✝️

[@oachie8862]

Yes, I would get asked a question, this person would yawn, abruptly get agitated and snap at me, or carrying on a full blown conversation with someone else. I would just hang up the phone.

[@Divinebanda]

You're doing great! Just so you know, everything you say is spot on and totally accurate. Keep up the good work ❤

[@dervish108]

My ex would do subtle jabs against me, and long monologues about how she thought I was inadequate and if I seemed uncomfortable or asked for clarification she’d accused me of having anxious attachment.

[@jans724]

This first point was very interesting! I have noticed this in a person I have suspected of being a narcissist. This is a really good indication!

[@andersdottir1111]

If someone told me on receiving a gift that they ‘didn’t like it and consult me first’ - I’d never give that person a gift again. That’s just plain rude. I’ve received many gifts I particularly don’t like and I’d never say that - I just regift that gift or donate it to a charity shop.

[@SJD36]

I have had situations like what you described with giving gifts . It actually caused gift giving to give me stress and that is not how it should be. I noticed recently that I am getting better and feeling the cheer and joy again that should come with giving. I am not in close relationship anymore with those who wont receive from me and that has helped.

[@arturodiaz1063]

Narcissistic people or friends also do the following. That person is always giving you things or doing you favors without you asking them. Then suddenly have a crisis or an emergency. You want to help them or lessen their load. And then unexpectedly they send you money through the mail. What's wrong with all of this? By paying you they have stolen robbed you of your humanity.

[@xZOOMORPHICx]

Whenever my covert narc wife tries to cook I'll simply point out something basic so that it doesn't get ruined, in the moment. I've been cooking for and baking for 25 years and have been employed in kitchens and bakeries in the past. I know my way around the kitchen. Need a full Thanksgiving dinner from scratch? I can make it happen. My wife attempted to cook hot dogs and put the frying pan on the stove at full blast. I simply explained that the pan will be way too hot and that the hot dogs will burn as well as the pan and that medium or even medium low heat would be best. She knows NOTHING about cooking yet will still try to verbally explain why her way is better "I like it well done". I'd explain that burnt and well done are different things. She insisted with some nonsensical reasoning. It'd be like her trying to tell a meteorologist about why the weather will be a certain way. Anyway, our apartment building at the time had 12 units, a nice place, and nice smoke detectors. Four freaking fire trucks with a whole team of fully dressed fire fighters. The smoke alarms in the common areas were linked directly to the fire department and were automatically dispatched, all because she insisted that she knew how to cook hot dogs in a frying pan. For context, I've baked in that same kitchen and I've pan cooked steaks in that kitchen many times and never had the fire department dispatched, that's how bad those hotdogs were burnt. The pan was ruined. One of many, many idiotic and stubborn decisions I've witnessed.

[@norcal1009]

I know exactly how frustrating this is. I always feel like I have to 'dumb down' around them. It is not exciting or even mildly stimulating, and I consider myself an average thinker. Mental illness is definitely deceptive.

[@edemontfort9482]

Narcissists know everything better than anyone else. When they screw up they immediately point the finger at you. It's never their fault and they're never wrong. If they're cornered and there's no escaping their mistake they'll Say that everyone is jealous and trying to make them look bad. It's a no win.

[@norcal1009]

@edemontfort9482 totally, they sound like a 'broken record', as it seems to apply to everything and everyone in the world but them.

[@dark7angel456]

That sounds funny kind of.

[@xZOOMORPHICx]

@@dark7angel456 lol, yes i can definitely appreciate the humor in it.

[@SharkE747]

You're my favorite teacher. ❤ Thank you!

[@namastea]

I agree.

[@bernetajohnson3296]

I say accept the gift graciously when it is coming from the heart.

[@Ninabeana13]

Almost all of these things happen to me but since he is not hitting or screaming at me, he will literally use that as denial. When he’s angry at me for confronting him about something hurtful he’s done, he will either lie, deny “what are you even talking about?”project, deflect and change the subject to my bringing it up that’s causing an issue, he will use extreme gaslighting, sometimes he will mock me, he will look at his phone and almost ignore me acting like he didn’t fully hear me, he yawns loudly and dramatically when I’m speaking about anything that doesn’t matter to him. Yesterday I brought up him blocking and unblocking me on social media, he does it every time he’s mad at me for calling out mean behaviors. We share children and blocking me isn’t safe in case we have an emergency. I asked “hey did you block me awhile back, because we’re not friends on FB anymore?” Meanwhile it’s been dozens of times in over a decade we’ve been together. He told me “No” originally weeks ago when I asked and now I saw we weren’t friends and he’s listed as single, I am as well now. Last night he answered “No, what are you even talking about?” Then said “I don’t even have the FB app on my phone, why do you care so much about online shit?” And “You’re listed as single so what’s the problem?” I wasn’t focused on that I was hurt that he lied to me about blocking me. Then he said “well that was many weeks ago what’s your problem? Why does it matter so much, I was mad at you!” Then I said “It’s not a big deal the point is that you lied to me and now that I’ve brought it up you’re gaslighting me” I was using my hands to speak as I normally do I am part Italian, lol He starts Mocking me saying “my god look at how excited you get over causing an argument, you look like Donald Trump with all the hand movements, omg hahaha!” Then he said “I knew today was too good to be true, I’m here trying to get along with you, minding my own business and now you couldn’t help yourself, you just had to start a fight!” And says “It isn’t enough that I was being kind and told you I love you today, you just don’t care about anything I do for you, you always have to find something wrong and are never happy!” I said “No we’re talking about the original issue of you lying to me” and I kept bringing it back to that. Then he said “you sound like a broken record, why do you always have to make things up, I guess you want me to stop showing my love for you!” Again I brought it back to the point of him lying and he wound up saying towards the end “ I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” It’s maddening speaking with him and we’re on a break and live separately but were trying to work on things. I’ve been in therapy for years finding coping strategies, working on myself, and learning to love myself. He lied to me for months about attending therapy, I found out from the office that he quit therapy earlier this year stating “He didn’t need it anymore” after a couple sessions! I need input on this, I am validating myself as well but reassurance helps. Does anyone else experience this, does this sound like narcissistic abusive behavior? FYI This is only about 5% of what I am dealing with so…

[@Ninabeana13]

He also told me that I “made up the word gaslighting” and I “make it fit a different definition every time “

[@Feline-friend007]

I had an aunt adress me in a very curt and uncharacteristically dismissive manner, in front of other people at a function. I always saw her as a "salt of the earth, goody -two- shoes" type, if that makes sense. In the moment i would have experienced less shock and confusion if she had publically slapped me. I could not work through the cognitive dissonance whenever she behaved in this manner, but after twenty years i intuited that this was who she truly was. She excersised no accountability for her actions, she trivialized and gaslit, but i still feel guilty for walking away. This video also brings up a lot of subtle vibes i picked up at work over years. It is true, your body tells you the truth, your thoughts and emotions can lead you astray but your body does not.

[@dark7angel456]

I have hundreds of these narcissistic people targeting me and they know exactly what they're doing but I know exactly what they're doing and I figured them out sooner than I thought so they also do play the victim game every single time. Also when I started to become more confident in my findings other games my family would start to get more strangely worse and so would hundreds of other people online and offline

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

The cruel nickname because it is your initials