NAVIGATING HIGH CONFLICT DRAMA: HANDLING TOXIC FAMILY PERSONALITIES

Toxic family with high conflict people can be found in almost every area of life.
Toxic family dynamics and unhealthy relationships can often lead to a lifelong road of chaos with these individuals.
High conflict people are often in the act of projecting on to other people their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, and impulses.
Those who harass others or deprive them of their freedom are also considered high conflict people.
In this live chat, I discuss toxic family dynamics, high conflict people, and projective identification.
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#tamarahilllpc #HIGHCONFLICT #TOXICFAMILY
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DISCUSSED IN THIS CHAT:
0:00 Intro
3:00 projective identification example
5:50 What is projective identification in daily life
7:27 their baggage is yours now
9:30 they are prone to conflict all over
14:42 parents who are high conflict
17:23 PSYCHOPATHS & HIGH CONFLICT PEOPLE
25:58 WHAT PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION LOOKS LIKE
39:29 "have you felt fear in response to these people?"
42:24 WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU
*Q&A between the discussion
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Mentioned In The Video:
1. “Next up for psychiatry: rejection sensitivity and the social brain”
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
2. A critical analysis of stalking theory and implications for research and practice
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
3. Melanie Klein melanie-klein-trust.org.uk/th...
4. CATEGORIES OF STALKING
jec.unm.edu/education/online-t...
5. Study of Stalkers
ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/...
6. Types of harassment
www.getimpactly.com/post/type...
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at [e-mail]. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
Mail me stuff!
PO BOX 15747
Robinson Township, PA 15244
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Website - www.anchoredinknowledge.com
Instagram: thilltherap...
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[@TherapistTamaraHill]

KZbin will make the VERY lively chatbox available to you in 12hours!! Stay tuned!!

[@Gesuselsaviour]

I think Tamara is a virtuous woman. The way she carries herself gives it away. Very rare to find in modern day society.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much for this kind comment. I appreciate that!

[@mikesmith6594]

Narcissistic parents and family are the worse and definitely traumatizing .

[@truth4utoda]

😢agree with you.

[@truth4utoda]

"Nothing you do is enough." You said it Tam! Thankn. you. Awesome chat.

[@ElizzzaB]

Omg hate when some do that in restaurants. Have heard workers talking about what they would do to food. I never complain (too afraid to). Was in a conversation on Facebook with someone (will never forget it) she was like what you speak of. Amazing how you can pick up just from a conversation sight unseen. Maybe with experience and age it's clearer to me. My stomach in knots just thinking about it. I run from them now.

[@AdamantlyAdams]

It's not beneficial to be raised in an environment like this.

[@Depplova81]

Hi Tamara😊 I hate I missed this live. Lol I've got one for ya: My mother and I are estranged since July 2022, I got stung by her for the millionth time and finally said enough. It's been radio silence between us up til last week, when she texted my soon to be ex-husband, telling him that my stepfather would like to hear from me on his birthday. Of course, I didn't reach out. Then two days later, she tells him to tell me to call her, so she can know I'm alright or she's going to call the police. I still didn't reach out. Then Friday she texted him again saying to tell me if I don't face time her, she's getting in touch with Homeland Security. She goes from 0 to 5000 like that when she's bored. And when she's bored, heads roll. Her tantrums are truly exhausting. PS. She's the main reason I had to move countries. My covert narc husband and she feed off eachother.

[@ecohumanism]

4:03 "you've never cared, you are like the rest of them" sounds like one person I've met online, and it was impossible to explain that I am not a bad person once this sudden flow of accusations and hatred broke out. It was heart-wretching to deal with, sorry

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes it is heart-wrenching. I'm sorry. 😔 The best defense is to step away and don't engage as much as you can. When they realize they are in a battle by themselves, they only have themselves to blame.

[@darrylharris756]

Better late than never and every second is valuable spent with you even if it's just for a few moments thank you so much for your dedication hard work ingenuine ability to care for us. Sending vibrations Peace Love Light Harmony Justice and Truth

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

❤🤗That's so humbling. Thank you and you are welcome! It's my pleasure.

[@violet18]

I remember my sister told me she was going to get a priest to come to my house. She doesn't even care about religion, she just knows that a priest is an authority figure. I've also had coworkers say things like " if you want, I can call the manager" or " I'm going to call the manager right now so she can say something to you."

[@silentwalk1768]

Thanks so much Tamara much love in a lot of cases this can be good people especially when you're dealing with the school system these days absolutely and how about dealing with politicians yes it would be high value especially when everybody else is afraid to speak out just my opinion😮😮😂😂❤

[@silentwalk1768]

I might add Tamara if you know you're right why not give both barrels back if they know they've won over you they will take advantage of it even more if you fight back and they will know you're not going to take their crap🎉🎉🎉

[@lukefisch9483]

I was actually the high conflict person but I was definitely experiencing projective identification, I couldn’t understand why I was engaging in patterns my dad described his mom engaging in, he recently disclosed this he was yelled at pretty consistently and was even told by a sibling his mother hated him. He also shared that he dated people who acted in a similar way, I suspect there was issues with her relationship to alcohol. I never understood as a child why my mother was always screaming, blaming, criticizing, and controlling. That morning I was over and my dad was very zoned into his cell phone and he gets really into it to the point that it takes him a second to come out of it. But like I made homemade pasta, I suppose he heard the clutter, after I cleaned up and stuff he came down. The only words he said to me was “what did u break now” and I didn’t say anything because, ??? I was confused he just walked out the door and left I just felt so much intense emotion my mother was out as well and I just started getting my feelings out, and by myself without all of the denying of my experiences judgement and projection I could think clearly, I decided to speak out loud and just say what i would say if I could be heard. The words that came out of my mouth were essentially, I didn’t understand why my parents were reenacting parts of themselves that are suddenly coming out. Me and my mom had a conversation while making a meal that afternoon about how when we keep a part of ourself restricted and they come from other people really kinda hurting each other and sort of boxing that off, if u keep a part of urself in a cage if u don’t have empathy and kindness for that part it will absolutely bite, this as an example is like, where my grandmother will occasionally hurt my uncle emotionally and replay this cycle of “kicking him out” and it’s literally an act and what I keep affirming is this idea that the only person we can control is ourself in these moments, but when I close that door when I’m out of my zone of tolerance that is like the trigger for the anger, and my mother just absolutely goes off the rails, she is screaming trying to hurt my feelings. She goes into fight mode, and I go into hiding (disocciation)

[@lukefisch9483]

For reference my mother spoke to a psychiatrist after she came in my disabled schizophrenic aunts hospital room, panicked she would be put in a home, threatening, yelling, and violent. My grandmother was extremely violent during her entire parenting, there was partner violence in the house, her type in a husband was literally occupation: bank robber, she had 9 kids, she triangulates, my mom went no contacted, we came back 20 years later now that I’m an adult. The psychiatrist suggested bipolar or npd, overall they just were in intense situations growing up I can’t believe the stories sometimes. But whatever stories people want to tell I want to respect what might be cathartic for people

[@lukefisch9483]

I really want my family to care about my feelings, I want them to repect how I’m affected, when we get to this place my mom says she “doesn’t care” but I know she means she just never received that and can’t give what she doesn’t have. But my dad on the other hand, I mean he literally becomes passive aggressive in tone, deeply sarcastic In tone, everything I say he responds in a way that makes it overtly clear that he’ll say whatever nullifies me and feel pacified like there’s no way he could possible understand why I could be upset, when that wall comes up I see him start to disocciate and try to go in his room which is probably what he did with his mom. I just feel like a sponge. Like im absorbing all this and it’s only really now that I see the value of changing my perspective cause for so long I wanted them to stop this but being able to ask what can I do to make this situation better for myself has helped me feel more clearheaded and in control of myself

[@curtishutcherson2472]

I Love you Tamara ❤ 🤗and ty for this video. It hit home with me.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome❤🤗❤ And thank you! I'm always so grateful to hear these videos and discussions are relateable.

[@fillistine]

Your first client had you as they favourite person. Favourite people really do get the raw end of the stick

[@Victoria-gq8gt]

Lordy, I've just met the new house owner next door. Immediately he's been manipulative and threatening, demanding things upon ringing my door bell. Hes ambushed me and knocked me for six. I'm counting the days until the lease is up. Thank god I dont own this place. I'm so tired of so many predators every day. Lord, please get me through the next 5 months. Evil has taken up residence next door.

[@lorrainecortes7296]

Thanks for this important information, how many times these people come along.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

So true! You can almost find them every day in some form, even behind the wheel of a car.

[@Smartbeatifulawesome]

this is kinda why I wanted to be a cop I can see some of these personality traits a little

[@lisafowler7563]

Thanks 😊

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome 😊

[@MadamLolz]

I’m a high conflict person

[@lisafowler7563]

This is My husband's Sister without any Doubt 😢