Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Chancellor is Dead (r/HFY)

Why did they seek to exterminate us?
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/SaintAmidatelion
Original Post: / the_chancellor_is_dead
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@randomguy-tg7ok]

Heh heh heh... You expect us to fight genocidal extraterrestrial invaders and _not_ reverse-engineer their technology when we win? Thanks for the help with the Zarkin, by the way. Very appreciated.

[@prussiankingdom1693]

I love to think "Its not a war crime if we never agreed to it"

[@Nyghtking]

@@prussiankingdom1693 It's more like "We'll do to you what you decided it was ok to do to us, so be careful what you believe is ok."

[@randomguy-tg7ok]

Unfortunately it is, but the strong guys are the ones who make the rules.

[@Nyghtking]

They probably haven't heard the last of us either, we're coming for them, you don't get to try to genocide us and get away with no repercussions.

[@tomendruweit9386]

@@prussiankingdom1693 the rules have to be followed even if the opponent never signed the Geneva conventions... until he breaks them

[@experimentoffusion6705]

I don't think we humans will be very happy with the Zarkinians moving forward but thanks for the tech

[@milesedgeworth3667]

Im certain if we become ftl capable soon enough the Zarkinians will face a counter war of extermination

[@tomendruweit9386]

@@milesedgeworth3667 we shot down multiple teleport ships, its not a question of if but of when

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

@@tomendruweit9386 unless we lack some resource.

[@tomendruweit9386]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 then we can use the captured until we find what we need

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

@@tomendruweit9386 yes, but it would limit the size of our fleet to the size of enemy casualties.

[@taitano12]

Aliens show up to invade. Humans: Oooh... New toys!

[@shinraset]

And more importantly new playmate that we don't have to be so gentle with! 😈

[@brianrussell2441]

We killed your Death Star, we killed your Palpateen/ darth Vader, we destroyed your tripods ate your tyranids and stole your constructor fleets, what else ya got

[@alwelle3902]

Um, nanobots, and teleportation, and major gene sequencing and cloning technologies. Yeah, don't leave your toys behind.

[@evilmurlock]

YO! This sounds literally like the enemies you fight in EDF, you fight against alien ants dropping from teleport ships, in the process of playing the game you destroy a few motherships, you kill a 4 legged giant fortress. The tripods, called Roy's by the humans, do have plasma canons on their legs I think. And the one of the enemy bosses has a "Genocide gun", which can drop and be used by you. This is actually based

[@perlha9090]

To save our mother Earth from any alien attack...

[@jeremydaniels3904]

@@perlha9090 From vicious giant insects who have once again come back!

[@Birdmaster92]

@@jeremydaniels3904 We'll unleash all our forces we wont cut them any slack!

[@drakinkoren]

@@Birdmaster92 the EDF deploys!

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

OH SHIT!You're right!DAMN I remember seeing a walkthrough for the 2013 version I believe?It was such a strange game but child me loved it al lthe same.

[@atomique3656]

Peaceful and distant contact ? Suuuuure, just they wait until we get up there

[@Nomadic_Inquisitor]

;)

[@matthewbenton4767]

sure we can be peaceful, but first you are going to give us a few addresses...

[@robertbemis9800]

Oh ya You want to play Genocidal games Well you get to win Genocidal prizes

[@lisbjerg123]

Adapt and overcome. Even if the first few die, the rest ether learn how to solve the given problem or die themselves. And there's a lot of us...

[@hokutoulrik7345]

Survival of the smartest

[@charliedulol]

@@hokutoulrik7345 fittest

[@purpledevilr7463]

So chances are, macro cycles are like millennia and civilisation develops very slowly everywhere else.

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

well, we heard cycles used equivalent to days, so I´d assume the macrocycle is either a year or a month

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 yeah, the invasion took place over mini, micro, something small cycles, which I think would be decades. The reason is because they said there were conflicting reports, with some saying primates starting culture and human being a civilisation. This infers that we develop much faster then they do. Think of this, from primate to civilisation is millions of years when including Neanderthals, sapients have only existed for two hundred thousand.

[@idcgaming518]

@@purpledevilr7463 Civilisation, for about ten thousand.

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@idcgaming518 yeah, but primate to civilisation is a hell of a lot longer.

[@Sharkakaka]

Actually we just develop exponentially, the span of time between the man going to the moon and the first aircraft is approximately 50 years, 50 year ago we did not have internet, 100 years ago we didn't have aircraft, 200 years ago we didn't had cars, 300 years ago we couldn't even dream of trains. The starwars movies existed on the same time period as the guillotine. Humans just develop stupidly fast

[@crayonchomper1180]

humans are great at stealth when we need to be, we destroyed all 8 Quadruped Fortresses using stealth infiltration tactics

[@nixiejamies2330]

Sam fisher would be proud

[@crayonchomper1180]

@@nixiejamies2330 that he would

[@emil123emil123emil]

This is without a single doubt in My mind is earth defense Force

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

EDF! EDF!

[@volk551]

I was expecting us to tame the bio weapons and make them like the new dog...or cat more like a cat

[@singletona082]

It's on the to do list!

[@greywolf9783]

@@singletona082 XD

[@a-aronlincoln6309]

That's what I'm talking about HFY!

[@TheCuriosity8]

This is literally EDF as told by the aliens, I love it

[@AustralianGrizzly]

"How did you defeat us? Your technology is way behind ours..." "Yeah we know, because we took yours and made it ours..." I have yet to finish the vid, but this is my prediction...

[@billrich9722]

Nah. The alien leader goes down to Earth for some autistic screeching and gets shot to death.

[@taskforceboi8977]

Just this once it wasnt that.

[@Zedyne]

And this happens if you attack someone on their own battlefield. And guess what? Earth is our battlefield.

[@singletona082]

When humanity reaches the stars, and finds that not only did others know of this but did nothing but watch.... DEATH TO THE XENOS.

[@D.Holliday112]

"Hello humans. Welcome to the galactic community-." "Did you know what happened to us?" "Well... yes. But you see-" "And you stood by and did nothing to stop the Genocide?" "We couldn't risk fighting-." "How many others civilizations have been killed by them?" "Um. Y-you s-see it's not your-" "*How many*?" "Countless..." "..." "..." "Okay. Only because you didn't help nor hinder, you get to live. Get in our way... and *Die*, understand?" "Y-yes."

[@NathanBChampine]

All of that delicious tech just lying around. The galaxy is in for a nasty time. Beware the wrath of humans. Pray it is not pointed your way.

[@plinko-moss]

Tripods? LoL we can deal with those easily.

[@nicolasgomez6637]

Why does this sound like the plot of every EDF game?

[@BeeKisses]

Don't fuck with a hellworlder

[@Nomadic_Inquisitor]

"Lets *stay xenophobic,* lets make it our *career~,* lets show those abominations the true meaning of fear~"

[@roryspeight-burns2554]

whats the full song?

[@octaviondeminicolas1941]

@@roryspeight-burns2554 xenophobia is the song

[@Subject19-b6b]

Why does this sound like a EDF plot from the aliens perspective?

[@colemaddux6290]

This just sounds like EDF 5

[@evilmurlock]

Exactly what I thought, except I had EDF 4.1 in mind

[@kozag-realityauditor7075]

an admixture of the 2, for sure. quad forts only appear in 4.1 (though 5 does have a hexopod fort) and the 'chancellor' only appears in 5 only thing this story needed is an 'Idiosyncratic scientist advisor alien with lots of ""slightly"" incorrect information'

[@TheGosgosh]

Hippety hoppety, your tech is now our property

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

Thanks for the tech. We will be seeing you real soon.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Author Bless the Narrator

[@Nomadic_Inquisitor]

I hope we stay Xenophobic long after! "We want nothing to do with you Xeno's, leave us be or suffer our wrath."

[@tomendruweit9386]

Nah, xenophile is better

[@Nomadic_Inquisitor]

@@tomendruweit9386 Silence xeno fetishist!

[@krel7160]

We declare war upon those responsible for the murders of over 2 billion human lives. We call for allies and aid from all those who share our disdain for those who would throw such lives away so carelessly. And we will end our war with those who remained silent even as vengeance was declared.

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Welp, Karma is a bitch. As well as only one leader I know of, who was crazy enough to confront a band of rebels and try to calm them somehow beyond the use of weapons.

[@lordcommissarspartan]

THE EDF DEPLOYS

[@Information_Seeker]

0:41 story about ranked choice voting be like

[@Ghostx357]

for some reason earth defence force comes to mind

[@SuperGamefreak18]

Xcom for me lol

[@evilmurlock]

Yea, the alien enemies are basically the same, they even have a genocide gun.

[@WallNutBreaker524]

10:47 can't destroy it outside? Then do it inside.

[@aliksanon6491]

Humans when they reach the stars and realize that one xenos tried to exterminate them and the others knew and just sat on their asses: Lets be Xenophobic, Its really in this year

[@andreb.8266]

Something is lacking, spaceships where destroyed and no teleportation device made by the human ? Same for the walkers, they have nanobots and they where not use by the human ?

[@Heidao623]

EDF! EDF! EDF! *EVERYONE ROARING A WARCRY*

[@bendover9813]

Honestly, I don’t think we’d really care about other alien races much beyond trading technology and culture. We’d definitely be interested in alien biospheres at first, but even then, after the first couple generations of true explorers, the majority of people would care about nature on other planets as little as they care about nature on this planet.

[@kdrapertrucker]

It's my experience that the people who care the least about the environment are the ones that make the biggest deal about the environment. Environmental groups trash any area they inhabit quite literally, normal people have to come in and pick up the garbage the environmentalists leave behind. They all fly to exotic destinations for "climate conferences" in private Jets and tut at the rest of us for daring to drive cars and heat our homes. They are quite clownish.

[@bendover9813]

@@kdrapertrucker not even, Kenneth. You and I both know that most liberals and environmentalists don’t even have enough money to get a TICKET on a private jet, much less own one. It’s the people who run organizations for it, the people at the top who are lying to their flock for money. It’s like when you see a televangelist in a private jet; his congregation might believe, but what he says he believes doesn’t have any bearing on his actual life beyond a job.

[@NoBody-bx4cp]

It seems an aftermath was made, as well.

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@szymonbollin5074]

EDF! EDF!

[@dalemorgan8263]

EDF!!

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Un per a l'algorisme

[@julianblankenship7564]

E.D.F missing perspective?

[@zekedelsken9963]

EDF! EDF! EDF!!!

[@bobydigital2450]

Sounds like the qu

[@seangregorymurray3634]

Like #69. Nice

[@tobiasthomson1691]

Isn't this EDF?

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

Soo, why not just blow up Earth. Its really not that hard.

[@babla69420]

This is why I don't like to think about details during these stories, such dumb plots

[@babla69420]

Like dude's got nanotechnology but their workers revolting, where's ur automation buddy?

[@plinko-moss]

13th

[@redeye3869]

First

[@BeeKisses]

Fraid not

[@corinthiansdaniels3728]

@@BeeKisses how so?

[@BeeKisses]

I posted like 20 seconds before this first claim 😅

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@BeeKisses if so that was deleted. This is the only comment up.

[@corinthiansdaniels3728]

@@BeeKisses purple is right

[@billrich9722]

Good reading. Poor story. Few of the actions taken by the invaders make any sense. And what the Hell is a “back door” that lets people read the sensor data of entire fleets? While I’m not removing that part from the realm of possible, it seems contrived. Being human isn’t a win-all button. A good story isn’t just jerking off over your favorite subject. Maybe try a more character focused story? And don’t worry about describing things in detail if you don’t understand bow they work. I’m sure the writer won’t read this. It’s meant to be constructive. I’m just over humanity winning for no better reason than being human. It’s not that I’m anti-humanity, mind you. But the idea of an intergalactic super power failing to wipe pre-FTL humanity from existence but failing because nobody understands how war works throws me right out if the story.

[@zekedelsken9963]

This is somebody just trying to understand or explain the idiocy of the EDF games. Fun games but the story is bonkers insane lol.

[@billrich9722]

@@zekedelsken9963 Fair to say.

[@kingkiwi4]

EDF! EDF!