Never Fight For His Attention! Do This Instead

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[@lovelyeri]

I think all women have experienced losing themselves while loving someone.

[@nancylasavath5992]

That’s me 😂😂 I’m working on self love and taking care of yourself now that I’m not with a narc anymore 💪🙏😊

[@argie9735]

I agree. Coz Its a sign that we really loved our man and that we are serious with them. Thats why its hard for us women to move on when our men dumped us to the point that we are doing some crazy things tht will push our men further away and at the end, we are still the bad guy...

[@payat4417]

Yah it’s happen sometimes

[@hallowiegehtssokeule]

LOXE 365 I think men did too

[@rickki6]

TRUTH !

[@JESSICA77042]

After the 20 years of marriage I learned a lesson “never make someone your priority when you are just and option to them”

[@loisekamau8656]

Well put

[@zekame4258]

That is true but Love is complicated, one moment u say "2 hell with him" but when u see him u prioritize him more

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

Zeka Me that is not love, that is convenience

[@TtooMuchCashh]

Been there..It was hard to find my self again (alot of self forgiveness for forgetting to love me 1st)when u do its a rebirth and its Great 😊😜👍

[@daughterofthemosthighgod1889]

Yup

[@lingamriba5277]

When Cardi B said “I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself.” I felt that.

[@archanasharma7426]

Which song?

[@numis1095]

😹LOL

[@juiceeer3320]

You listen to cardiB ..so you're definitely trash

[@jeyoung2806]

that's sad

[@ad7265]

@@juiceeer3320 it doesn’t matter. the point of these in fact good words went over your head and instead you focused on some irrelevant bullsh1t.

[@luvLena12]

Maturity is when you stop asking him/her why they don’t call you or text you anymore, you just noticed the change and accepted it. No dramas, no fights. Just walk away with a smile. "| saw how great I can be in a relationship. I saw just how wonderful I can be as a partner." These 2 sentences gave me so much confidence and shelter even though my heart it’s broken .

[@muskanprajapati9823]

Thanks for this ❤

[@noobnoobie990]

I wish I saw this earlier, I was blinded of this delusional love he promised me and now he's gone

[@ohdear2275]

"Don't fear losing him. Fear losing yourself." Brilliant advice! Thank you!

[@jenniferwilt8041]

Oh Dear I think that’s the wisest relationship advice I have ever heard. Truly

[@ohdear2275]

@@jenniferwilt8041 me, too!

[@lilyj9924]

@@jenniferwilt8041 SAME HERE😊

[@christinewind6459]

Oh Dear wow I needed to rehear this ❤️❤️😊😊

[@lilyj9924]

@@christinewind6459 SAME HERE & LETS FORM A FEARLESS CLUB ❤☺🙌🙌

[@ladymva17]

"Don't make him fear losing you. Be afraid to lose yourself" -Brian Nox

[@hakunamatata164]

I lost my self

[@gamer-is2zs]

I lost my self

[@baharnekuyi9446]

So meaningful state

[@MsSilverstar78]

❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏👏

[@samanthachipunza7704]

Thank you so much for this 🙏❤️

[@marciavox8105]

“He can be a good guy but not good for you.” Powerful.

[@rejillyt.5433]

"Fight for the guy that makes you feel happy, never fight for the guy that makes you feel miserable" My favorite sentence of this video.

[@michellewall6748]

Soooooo true! So many lazy self centred men around.... always put yourself first

[@Reuvenification]

@@michellewall6748 well, I was taught to put the other person first. Now is me. These are good ideas but not solutions.

[@paulinewambui3340]

Very true.i had this stupid man who goes mute after a small argument.im fed up with this nonsense

[@maxinewhitus9463]

Love, love this comment. It’s spot on💕💕 “yes fight for the guy that makes you happy, not the one that makes you sad or unhappy!

[@starbeautysix3967]

If he makes you happy then why are you fighting for him?

[@SK-no2pp]

A man who truly loves you will not put himself in the position to lose you. You are the prize.

[@marx5129]

true

[@chewyndoroni4739]

It's true.

[@pistolen87]

urgh...

[@etwasadas613]

Please stop 😂🤢🤮

[@biker5719]

A woman is not the prize but our loyal teammate. If you don't bring values of a good team mate then we don't have anything to do with you.

[@Positivevibes-ef6tw]

If you have to fight for a mans attention that means he is not into you, but never take that as rejection, it just means he is not for you & you are worthy of someone who will give you the attention without asking for it. It’s not rejection, it’s REDIRECTION!

[@briitt101]

Love this❤️❤️

[@Positivevibes-ef6tw]

@@briitt101 Thank you!

[@doughty_vee7824]

Yes 🙌

[@DancingL704]

Thank you, I really needed to read that. I’m ending my 14 month ” marriage “ and reading this helped enormously 💕🙏

[@cyntiaangelie8157]

It still hurts when he actually pursued you and once you give him a chance he has a wondering eye and takes you for granted.

[@tanyawilkins6285]

I was going to get married at the end of the month, and my fiancé sat me down and told me he's not in love with me anymore. I've been trying to convince him that I'm good for him. Until this video. Thank you for this. I needed it.

[@inesduarte2323]

I'm 8m pregnant and he did the same to me. The video putted really nice thoughts on my head, but is hard. I hope I can arrange strength to be like you! I'm proud of you Tanya, God blees you

[@TaniyaWG]

May you find the love of your life

[@sarahs7253]

U hope you stuck with your decision

[@Afrosoil11]

@@inesduarte2323 hope you find healing, so sorry

[@LvUhcX]

@@uduanslrm7584 sometimes you can’t change the real way they feel :(

[@elleaay9908]

“It’s not you job to give him feelings for you”

[@coolpeoplethings]

Never getting a guy then with my Introverted self

[@Hhhhhjhjjjjbbbbbbnnnnnnnookkkk]

@@kassonj4429 but i only help if i can pay which isn't possible

[@hopewilson5359]

I won't invest my time in any man that won't invest in me!!

[@biker5719]

Before investing we should know whether it is worth investing.

[@jamiejackson1780]

Hope Wilson 💯

[@MiraJames]

Inspiring.. Can I screenshot this and share this to my ig post?

[@novanae7799]

You, have the correct word. INVEST. This does not mean just dinner and coming to YOUR house, it means giving you an offer.

[@jasmintarani4530]

Hope Wilson 👏

[@sona9378]

We should never fight for someone who isn't fighting for us. I needed to hear this.

[@sona9378]

@Eunice Erim Dude. I would never in my worst nightmare take a man back who has even thought about leaving me for another woman.

[@Cocokomal16]

And if that person is your husband then what should you do???

[@smitha1867]

@@Cocokomal16leave him. What’s the use of such a husband?

[@joannedomingo2398]

I needed to hear this too

[@rosehiver6262]

In this case, why would the other person fight for us if we’re not fighting ? 🙃

[@Lanika1979]

Just look at all of us woman that are going through this.

[@cleopatra7393]

The hell they put us through

[@Lanika1979]

@@cleopatra7393 yes it’s like a game or something to them

[@katherinehague5053]

Im here with you ladies

[@lordssheep2096]

I know right smh 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@suciromantir4323]

😢😢😢😢

[@parnalchandel1899]

"We should never fight for someone who is not fighting for us ." This hits hard .

[@ellaville6775]

If they love you, you don't have to fight for your spot

[@Dd-po2ij]

Truth. Bless you

[@aishwaryathakker8594]

Right

[@katze9280]

Truth!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@hemantks4353]

What if no one loves you. Cope harder women

[@artsyhyd]

“It’s never your job to make him to have feelings for you!” Nothing women do would make men fall in love, he just does.

[@francedc4247]

Couldn’t agree more

[@dinhtrinh6682]

SO TRUE!!!!!

[@bahaykubominifarm]

so true

[@artsylady3187]

yes true I tried and tried and tried...I gave and gave and gave....and I guess he just couldn't love me back......but now without him I am so very very very sad......

[@exoticpash8823]

" don't fight for the guy who makes you miserable "

[@crazyleaf257]

We should never fight for someone who's not fighting for us. Amen!

[@beebeemotsumi]

Never ever run after a guy . Ever.

[@Melly16yr10]

Yep 100% agree

[@meichang3295]

If the guy stops loving you, then let go and stop also loving him and move on.

[@gabrielaelena9512]

May be you have right 😢sorry better say you have right but hurts alot 😢

[@britbyname3620]

Mei Chang and .... maybe keep on loving him and dont move on if you cant ... but keep your dignity and self respect ...

[@juvelynjuego4017]

That thought is actually easy, but it's not

[@lindasetiowati633]

Yes I need to do it

[@mellyg7741]

Mei Chang “just stop”...if it were that easy most of us wouldn’t need to be watching videos like this lol

[@jennhawkins5356]

After being married for nearly 14 years, a resounding “yes!”. I am still married and we’re almost to our 14th wedding anniversary, but I can honestly say to women who are so set on pursuing a man and waiting for him to love you. If he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t. He doesn’t magically change; he learns to avoid your “desperate pleas” and calls them “nags”, he will call you “controlling” when you feel unloved, lonely and isolated. It’s hard dating and falling in love because of stupid dopamine, but if there is any chance you can think objectively despite the brain chemicals, be honest with yourself if he’s not treating you well. Get out and find someone who is better suited to you.

[@sritamaganguly6948]

Its not easy though 😔

[@Iloveart134]

Yass!!

[@maxinewhitus9463]

We’ll stated 😢 sad but true!

[@elizabethh86]

But what if all of those things you described aren't a guy you're dating and they're your husband? 😥

[@lanapalij4014]

@@sritamaganguly6948 Anything worth having isn’t easy…

[@zanastrange1878]

Thank you for the statement: “He has disqualified himself.” Thank you for that reminder. Love your humour.

[@michellezunie8090]

Thank you. I’m walking away from my ten year relationship tonight. I needed to hear this.

[@jellyangie1]

Michelle Roberts did you do it? 👀

[@ma5639]

How are u doing

[@pragyasingh3018]

you're so brave! I hope you're doing well

[@musikeradaw]

Updates!

[@evelynw2935]

That is really brave of you. Hope you're doing well!

[@vikuswavy5785]

I actually lost myself for a while, but I'm coming back. I will NEVERRRRRR lose myself again. Edit 1 year later- Self-validation is the term you're looking for. If you don't get the validation you need from your family (even they struggle with it & can't give it to you because they don't know how), you have to give it to yourself. Therapists can help if you need it.

[@vikuswavy5785]

@aline souza I actually have to remind myself at times. I have this behavior I learned from somewhere that I call my "demon of melancholy." It's a method I figured after talking to a depressed friend and *slightly* separating them from their depression by saying things like, "Wow, you've really been dealing with this thing for a long time, haven't you?" I use it the same way with my "demon of melancholy" and it works pretty well 100% of the time, no matter how many times it comes up. Awesomeness. :)

[@vikuswavy5785]

@aline souza Utility like that is like a rock. Good method, but it shouldn't hurt unless you value any validation he'd give you (or take away at the slightest whim). When you validate yourself and don't seek it from others (iffff that is the case with you, i don't know) then things like this won't hurt at all and you can seek out others quite easily.

[@keepsmiling185]

Same here❤️

[@lindaadepasakyiwaa8297]

@@keepsmiling185 In my case the guy went on to date my best friend and the most saddest part is they don't want me to know about it and I'm leaving in the same room with her. What should i do?

[@loriejoyllamas9113]

Same here☺️

[@DropsofPetrichor]

Thank you!!! I am so tired of begging. I really need to hear this right now!! 😢

[@princemodelo1886]

"We should never fight for someone who is not fighting for us and never afraid of lossing him/her. Afraid of lossing urself."

[@antigonae2388]

If a guy continuously doesn't make an effort, I won't either. Easy. There are more appreciative people out there for sure.

[@leratopotgieter7826]

Where they at though? 🤷🏽‍♀️😂😂

[@eduardkitzsanchez7660]

What if your'e married?

[@denig2000able]

Just dumped a guy after watching this video. He couldn't cut off contact with his ex. Then tells me I'm a problem. See ya later.

[@a_k_r428]

I'm so happy for you ♥️

[@powervibes7899]

Welldone babe.proud of u

[@beautymellz5600]

You did well hun.

[@phinalovesbts9218]

I did the same thing and u know what! after our breakup he posted a picture of him and his ex ..😫😫😫.

[@HUMILIATRIX]

Deni 😑 How is it going?

[@desireesnyder2280]

Amen we never fight for someone who is uninterested in seeing us happy.

[@becomingher3871]

I have been feeling down for quite sone time thinking I have made a terrible decision in choosing myself over a guy i was head over heals for but you guys made it better for me. I've realized I'm not alone and I've made the best choice. "Do not fear losing him, fear losing yourself " I felt that.

[@Miniflower25]

Ohh I did the same he avoided me to the point my deep love for him ended, intially I thought It's my mistake because he manupulative he avoids and comes back saying he love me only to avoid again...finally I decided breakup and I stood on my decision for my own peace, now feeling peaceful.

[@artsylady3187]

i agree.....I would rather be with my love than be alone....even if he didn't love me back

[@tlc6756]

@@artsylady3187 not me!!! I'd much rather be my authentic self and alone! If you're with someone who doesn't love you, you don't have him OR yourself. I can't live a lie, because I wouldn't be in tune with my feelings and wouldn't be able to enjoy anything.

[@nathalienouvelle4746]

Haha Law of attraction.. I just decided this yesterday that I'm done fighting for his attention and affection. I'm going to care more about me and enjoy my time, and then this video popped up today. I am ready to end it for my long-term happiness if neccessary.

[@Reevay762]

Yes same here. I dont wanna play games anymore. If he is ignoring me then good. Just spend time on myself hehe

[@MeditationInfatuation]

So how’s it going? Did you choose yourself or are you still dealing with him?

[@mellyg7741]

Nathalie Nouvelle update ?

[@keilennhxjxjxiksbucbostaga388]

I really feel you. I also have similar experience the worst is he has a girlfriend and im still trying to have a little bit of attention and affection. I dunno wat to do, i wanted it to stopb but i really cant.

[@keilennhxjxjxiksbucbostaga388]

@@dee-tx5jd this is beautiful. Thank you so much. ❤

[@mondemese3732]

This is definitely an eye opener...trying to manipulate love would definitely lead to stress & anxiety...mutual attraction is the only way...being authentic is attractive PERIOD

[@natalyakotova6103]

Yeah you are right! Many times though, girls are tempted to play games because they don't feel like they get enough attention from their guy, even in a relationship where they are loved. In this case walking out would be a bit stupid... How do you tell the difference between the scenario when the guy does love n gives his all (the girl is just needy) and the guy who isn't (guy that doesn't really love her) ??

[@natalyakotova6103]

I really liked the way you summarized Brian's message BTW :)

[@jamiejackson1780]

Mon Demese that’s a WORD 🙌🏾

[@irumshahid4395]

I wana ask he was my good friend like my family but I did a mistake he wished to talk to get close to one of my friend I made fake story by threatened him through a male he got afraid and said sorry to him but when he came to know that it was me behind this story he abused me n broke the relationship what to do

[@kookiemons9315]

Preach sis

[@lilacskies9493]

I lost myself in my first love, dropped my passion for art, felt I needed to enjoy everything that he enjoyed in order for him to love me, and I didn’t set boundaries or stick to my standards. I really hurt myself by this, however Im going to always reflect on it and know that I gave so much love (probably too much) to the relationship and at the end of the day, it clearly wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t the one for me and I see that now. I am still in the first week of the healing process (post-breakup) and I know I’ll be okay, since I’m now free of a man who didn’t make me a better me. 😌

[@margaretjongebloed6386]

This was excellent!! The relationship I am in I am constantly grabbing at the crumbs he gives. Deep down knowing I would give anyone the advice to walk away. Trying to get the strength to find better for myself. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@iketi256]

Prayers girl! And you’re WAY too pretty for breadcrumbs! Coming from a straight woman. I mean gorgeous. Keep your head up!

[@allthingsjana7870]

I hope you got away x

[@margaretjongebloed5888]

@@allthingsjana7870 I have 🥰👍🏻

[@allthingsjana7870]

@@margaretjongebloed5888 me too. Just went to collect my things. Honestly a statue would have had more movement. That's the last time he ever sees me. Sick of the silent treatment and breadcrumbing. Proud of myself for not putting up with it anymore. Sick of the smirks when I asked where he was last night. Absolute narcissist. He really is

[@nantumbweshamim5074]

Q wazqpp n

[@FernandaTapiaComedy]

Love this! The only dating coach who doesn’t teach playing games to people...thanks!

[@leylafar3476]

Fernanda Tapia exactly!

[@BuddhaBlume]

Yes and this is why I love to watch his advices on youtube

[@nikolasoltes598]

Matthew Hussey is good too 😊

[@randa-yv4ht]

I agree with you. That's exactly what I love about his videos.

[@FernandaTapiaComedy]

@@nikolasoltes598 I'll check him out! Thanks!

[@jahleelgodinez9855]

I'm totally in pain right now and this helps me thank you.

[@fadlansmith920]

Why? Maybe you wanna little a told me? What happens?🥺

[@anushabasnet6539]

How are things now?

[@puppy6039]

Shehan blocked me

[@DancingL704]

Thank you for telling us the way it is. . I have an old saying “ I’d much rather hear the cold truth, than a warm lie “

[@AshleyLebedev]

I really needed this today. I’ve been with this guy for 2.5 years and I’ve never been able to excite him like him cleaning his house, him playing d&d or just about anything else. I found myself initially quite confident and after time I had to start to ask those questions - what if I left you, what if I went my own way, what if I do now? And he always took it easily and would say “well I’d be sad” but his words his aloofness his cadence was always like “I’d be ok” - He said he wants to marry me and have kids he even asked me to marry him but never followed up with a ring. Thanks for this. It shook me up. We’ve just fought and tomorrow we are meant to speak and I just feel like it’s time to not be there and just go. Have already had enough talks and I’ve talked myself into holes. Your videos are always the best.

[@3catfriends]

How’s it going?❤️

[@allthingsjana7870]

What happened? I had to leave a situation like this .

[@naimam3976]

How did it go girl? Please update us..

[@rofhiwamthethwa6682]

We literally fight for everything and he is just always busy

[@rechieannbebedor6628]

@@rofhiwamthethwa6682 i feel you, I've been in that situation.

[@rose_of_venus]

I wish these things were taught in School in Relationship studies because I feel this isn't strictly just intimate relationships but also applies to Family, Friends and toxic connection we feel we must keep.

[@dehatify4501]

Totally agree with ya

[@sassy_asethxb5427]

I agree 💯

[@nankabirwamary8918]

By d way

[@seemee5883]

I wish scolds in the us would even offer "relationship" studies

[@114488able]

So it all comes down to Self-Love 😍

[@11celinekarter11]

Oh Yessss!!!🙌🏾

[@hopewilson5359]

Absolutely!

[@FernandaTapiaComedy]

Yes!

[@dhanyathespringofApril]

OF COURSE!

[@jodizellmer994]

This goes both ways. If somebody is really interested in you, then you shouldn't have to try so hard to get their attention, because you'll already be on each other's minds no matter where you are.

[@faizahanif9515]

When a guy is confessing this about his own gender you know its 100% true

[@huyenjessie2997]

Find for a guy who makes you happy not for the one who make you miserable

[@jovelynhinay8710]

Tama

[@innocent1401]

Amen!

[@florencezoi2396]

" Those who find me find life, and the Lord will be pleased with them. " Proverbs 8:35

[@JDVIBEZ4REAL]

Amen Sis Amen

[@melanie.vallejo]

October 2020 i was seeing a very hardcore Christian guy that my close friend introduced me to, keep in mind i was very hesitant on giving a new guy a chance because i’ve been hurt in the past by confusing guys who weren’t ready to commit to me prior before to meeting this Christian religious immature boy. My friend at the time kept convincing me to take a chance on him and even promised me that he wasn’t going to hurt me but he did at the end. Long story short i took my friend’s word for it and i took a chance on her guy friend. Obviously me and this new guy i was seeing were pretty great in the beginning but a month or two later he told me he was waiting on specific signs and deadlines from God to see if i was the one or not for him since he was hurt in the past and wants to find his wife. I was started to lose hope relationship wise. I was a new Christian and still am but i was kinda caught off guard with the guy waiting on specific signs and deadlines from God to see if i was the one or not for him. I was honest with him and told him how come he doesn’t make his own personal choice since God gives us that free choice. He still was persistent on doing the sign bullshit thing. I left it alone for awhile and had low expectations from that and tried to keep things as a friendship. Well months went by I was building resentment towards my guy and in January 2021, he basically said he had big good news to say which really wasn’t tbh, basically he said that he wanted to postpone dating for a year. At that point i clearly felt more discouraged and frusterated with him more and more as time went on. I even told him i was upset about it and again he was persistent on waiting on God (i shouldn’t have ignored the red flags). Just recently which was two weeks ago, i asked him if we could hangout one-on-one as FRIENDS to get to know eachother better since we’ve all hungout in groups, we should also hangout one-on-one to see where our friendship grows into. He didn’t think it was a good idea because he didn’t want our feelings to be more invested than we already are, i told him that we needed to separate our feelings versus a friendship to get to know eachother as people and as friends since we’ve only hungout in groups. He still didn’t think it was a good idea and says he will ask God when and where we could hangout. At that point i was fed up with him, and said if that’s how he feels then i guess do it. At that point i vented to our mutual friend and asked her how come she introduced me to this complicated guy because relationship and friendship wise it was all too much. I basically needed space from both of them but mostly him and my friend took my words to heart and didn’t wanna be friends anymore after that. That guy i was seeing ended up telling me i wasn’t the “one” for him and that God gave him 6 signs that prove i wasn’t the “one”. Keep in mind that this guy was so immature and caused me nothing but pain and stress within these 6 months for nothing. One of his signs from God was complete bullcrap, he then says there’s this chinese lady (keep in mind that he doesn’t know this lady personally) but someone from our church knows this lady, my guy asked God if this chinese lady is still single by december 2020, then that was the first sign that means I wasn’t the “one” for him. All these consistent stupid excuses one after another, i even asked him why did you even pursue me in the first place and clearly it showed you weren’t ready. I knew in my gut feeling that he was too much for me and he wasn’t my type to begin with either but i cared about him and took a real chance on someone. I bet you that nobody would’ve waited as much as i did for a guy to be this complicated and immature. I understand God is a big part of our lives but this guy took it to the extreme. Relationship wise, i kept my expectations low as he was showing his true colors, friendship wise i couldn’t believe that he felt the need to ask God when and where we could hangout when i sincerely want to at least be his friend. He did some other shit i didn’t like and it costed me and my friend’s friendship to end. Me and my friend never had issues or fought prior to her introducing me to this immature religious freak. I knew in my gut that was the main thing i was afraid of, taking a chance on her guy friend and what if things went wrong and could destroy my friendship which it did. But it comes to show how people show their true colors. I never went off on this religious dude i was seeing, he went off on me a few times, showed so many red flags, clearly wasn’t ready for anything serious, he would call me twice a day and text me everyday too, my friend always being put in the middle because she introduced me to him, my friend did shady shit too like whenever i would vent to her about stuff or about the guy... she would send him my personal messages that was only for her to read. I felt betrayed, depressed, angry and irritated all in one by those two. They would play the victim card also. I haven’t gone back to church since that situation a few weeks ago. I know im not perfect and i’ve made mistakes but it was no where close to them doing me dirty at the end especially mostly the guy i dated. Even after all of that i went to bible study a week ago to return my ex friend’s mask that she left in my car awhile back ago, i wanted to be a good person despite them doing me wrong. I think that will be my last bible study session for me to go to since now i don’t feel comfortable going back again. I know i should worship God despite what happened but in all honesty, i would rather preach alone than to go somewhere where i feel uncomfortable seeing my “ex” and my ex friend. That guy truly lost me because no girl probably would’ve wasted that much time and bullshit on someone that is too radical and always asking for God on every little thing to the extreme. Keep in mind, I’m a Christian, I believe in signs but when i received signs from God (which i have received signs from God personally) i never once asked God to send me a sign on a specific deadline or anything. You can’t force God for your own benefits. God gives us what He can give us, and again He also gives us a free choice in our lives. There’s a fine line between being reasonable and being too radical. I learned a valuable lesson from all this bullshit from guys and im still healing from this. Honestly i don’t know if i’ll ever want to date again since its alot harder for me to give a new person a chance if the opportunity ever presented itself again. Recently two weeks ago he apologized for his mistakes and leading me on. He costed my friendship with my close friend and she officially said we’re only gonna be acquintances and not friends anymore, she also put the blame on me too as if she did nothing. She was the one that introduced me to him and made a promise that he wouldn’t hurt me and he turned out to be the complete opposite. He definitely hurt me and so did she. I’m healing from all of this honestly

[@seemali2432]

AMEN 🙏

[@honeyfrancis4951]

@@melanie.vallejo believe me exactly same thing happened to me, but God had greater plans for me. I had married an amazing christlike guy from same church and he happened to be the friend of my ex. Now we have two kids and happily married more than 7 years. My ex attended our marriage too, you just wait God has an amazing plan for you.

[@melanie.vallejo]

@@honeyfrancis4951 I found out 3 days ago that my ex and my ex friend are now engaged to eachother. The same people who manipulated me and would tell me to my face that they were a “brother-sister” relationship. I come to learn to use my experiences to now know what I don’t want in a relationship and what certain friends I don’t want in the future. I’m learning each day to use my knowledge and experiences to make better judgements of people from now on

[@Rave_believe]

Thank you. This makes so much sense. ❤️ I should stop obsessing over them. If they want me, they will fight for me and it will eventually happen. I am tired of all the mind games and overthinking. Man nowadays are so afraid to share their feelings, they are not true to themselves. It's really difficult to read their intentions.

[@George-vd5tz]

It's painful when men act like this, I'm a man and I hate it. I see no reason why someone shouldn't be sincere about his feelings with his partner in a relationship. Well it doesn't apply to men only, women also do this and it's sad.

[@mtaqavi1408]

Don't make him fear losing you. Be afraid to lose yourself in that relationship👌 Great! God bless you Brian!

[@sweetiek7591]

Never ever put efforts for someone who's really not clear what he feels about you ...you'll jst end up regretting all uve done for him....

[@mssunset8340]

and I regret it

[@jeanaton8591]

True

[@johnpaularal9850]

You just make me cry, i just realized how miserable i am 💔

[@aliciabee2781]

GOD LOVES YOU HE HAS YOUR BACK😊😊😊😊😊😊😊.

[@angelinacallaway2763]

Me too. Me too

[@dianaktk9135]

😔💖💖💖💖

[@whatrtheodds]

💔🥀

[@johnpaularal9850]

@@aliciabee2781 thank you soo much 😭

[@EimJhae]

all that i need to hear to stop my tears from falling after my nasty fight with my boyfriend.

[@DiMakesArt]

Thank you Brian.. I just needed to hear this .. I am walking away from a toxic marriage of 8 years. He kept on saying he would change and would learn how to love me and I kept on believing. Even moved to another country so that he would miss me. Instead he completely ignored me and I went through sever depression and was suicidal. Friends helped me get through it. Finally got the courage to say it’s enough and going for a divorce.

[@George-vd5tz]

Thank God you grew the courage to make that decision very great

[@maddy-jp5lh]

I’m so sorry darling, heartbreak can really mess you up. You will feel better after.

[@LM33333]

I am happy you chose yourself. The stress of old will fade eventually. And you will be fully open for the right one.

[@jyotinair3717]

Good to hear you moving away… am also married for 8 yrs and going on with a marriage which has given me severe anxiety and depression. Still haven’t got the courage to move away.

[@TEENAACHANKUNJU]

Can I talk to you personally

[@brenthongayatao1192]

Don't chase for LOVE, because the right man will never RUN! ❤

[@angelamcwhorter44]

Yes..this is true....If a Man wants You He will show You He does...

[@constancekimala9032]

This is what am going through.. In this relationship for sure it a storm for me...

[@moniamonia1009]

Yes. Sad true

[@Moon_child444]

never pour all your love and effection in a singular broken glass.. youll only be left drained.❤️

[@queenqueen1934]

I already lost myself in this kind of relationship. Struggling to be heard. But, I've made up my mind and will quit. This video is just helping me to stand my grounds.

[@IcarusSolitudinem1011]

we should never fight for someone.. who isnt fighting for us ! ♥♥♥..

[@carlynamore1819]

i learn my lesson ..too much love will kill u emotionally ,.mentally ...love ur self first ...if he want to go away ...pack his things ...throw it to his face ..and shout ...I SET YOU FREE🙂

[@joypeace3172]

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

[@Zell-bo9kb]

Badasss Queen 😂😎

[@carlynamore1819]

demn💪🥱🤪🥴

[@sassy_asethxb5427]

Could relate ...and Amen to that

[@d.m.velasco1885]

Theres actually a song ab it, I listened to it after watching the vid and seeing ur comment lol TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL YOU -Queen

[@starangelzz]

After 7 years we've been trying to keep the relationship but I've been fighting for his attention most of the time. And I needed to hear this. Now I feel like I'll be hurt and not feel like myself I'm scared. I'll keep you guys updated

[@sz7689]

I just ended an 8 year relationship. Like you, i've been fighting and holding on, trying so hard, but everyday i wake in pain. I no longer have the energy, i am mentally exhausted and can barely function. I ended it and the tipping point is that he has been in contact with his ex and went to dinner behind my back last week. I am done for good, i have to do me now and find myself. I"m almost 50 years old, and that is scary to be walking the earth alone. i am no longer available for him. good luck to you.

[@starangelzz]

@@sz7689 Yes be free have fun and focus on yourself because you deserve the best. If your going to work hard work hard for yourself.

[@Hiver2010]

Hey, how did it turn out?

[@sambhabanaroy1286]

Update?

[@juliagrace555]

What’s so hard for me is dropping someone completely and never speaking again - if it’s something massive they’ve done or if it’s just a slow downfall or a few red flags early on before even dating. I find myself destroying me when I try to leave or cut them off. I’m always the one not okay, and they are. I need to become stronger within myself

[@Franklin-wg5rn]

Me too.. it's a sign of strong low self esteem.. somehow we need to work on our confidence

[@tlc6756]

I understand, it's very hard to go through that. But that pain is only temporary and it makes you stronger/wiser for the next relationship.

[@starbeautysix3967]

Same here

[@kathleen43094]

"If you have to make a man feel anything, then he's probably not the right guy for you." "Don't make a guy fear losing you; be afraid to lose yourself." "We should never fight for someone who is not fighting for us." THANKS A LOT, BRIAN! All these made so much sense. I saw myself in your examples, felt horrible for quite a while, but now I'm slowly coming back to me.

[@froggiealicia]

I think when we mirror a person's efforts then we can avoid such painful situations. 💔

[@George-vd5tz]

Well said

[@ailyncameon]

"we shoudn't fight for someone who isn't fighting for us" - Brian Nox.

[@clapuz9925]

Dont fight for the guy who is not afraid to loose you...

[@lovefalwell1233]

Love isnt supposed to be painful its supposed to be mutual. Bad habit to break loving someone too much especially when you're having a hard time believing in yourself. Brian Nox is a Godsend! Thank you Brian Nox!

[@aselalovesjoy7368]

Im trying so hard. Thanks for this. U really cant force someone to love u.

[@sabariahl.6744]

asela loves joy Love comes naturally no force definitely 💗

[@wanjiruhungi5358]

My heart is breaking tonight. I have fought for years!

[@mulengachewe667]

🥺🥺 invest more time for yourself ❤️

[@blessedandbeautiful8365]

I lost myself. I so needed this. I’m giving him all of my power and it’s draining my soul. It hurts so bad and he is not giving any effort and blames me for everything. I have to go bc I’m literally feeling like a dry bone. Working on knowing my worth. Tysm for sharing this.

[@lydiahbhoke2284]

The fear of loosing somebody who is not Fighting for you is hurtful

[@alliemaxx7649]

…but we must face our fears in order to let them go & heal. FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s merely a “story” we attach emotion to.

[@loridori]

A woman cannot love a man into loving her. You can't manipulate something meant to happen naturally. If it's right it will not have to be questioned.

[@Mbuyiselo5]

Yes this is true, the man will love you if he chooses to love you. I am learning not to invest my emotions, time and energy into people who are not invested in me. This is not particularly because I am a liberated woman or anything but I am really discovering how much God loves me and I don’t want to devalue his love by being with people that don’t value me. You either come correct or you don’t come at all.

[@jedi7160]

@@Mbuyiselo5 Facts👏🏾

[@BEEyonced]

Why do we have to submit? Why must I settle for the man's will of choice?! Nope since I can't pick I don't want one at all! #Girlpower

[@sereene_cares3858]

I really, honestly appreciate your message. I can't help but cry listening to it because i realized my mistakes in my intimate relationship for fighting for the love, attention and affection from a man. I realized clearly now that i am fighting for a man really hard until nothings left of me, until i lose my self over again. How i wish i have knew this decades before, before i started dating. Thank you so much for this clarity. I feel blessed by your work and i believe other people too.❤️

[@chmc1378]

I have the same perspective 😊 It's like for me when someone tells you he likes you or made you a choice. Not all the time they can make you a priority. We have other things to do like work and other stuffs but when he still try to message you and communicate. For me that person is a keeper but you have to be balance as well and tell yourself I'm worthy.

[@asagaoalice9492]

Im the jackpot, i know my worth, dats why i walked away, and i found myself instead. ❤️❤️ ❤️

[@lucya8916]

4:55 "Don't make him fear losing you, be afraid of losing yourself." 100% ✨👍 I was in a relationship with this awful situation and I lost myself. It's taken me months to return to a normal level of confidence and comfort about myself again. This piece of advice is golden. Now use your slingshot with this golden nut of advice lol. ✨

[@amandastickney3451]

Once I started to find myself again my man had to cut the relationship. Kind of sad because I was finally feeling whole again and he wasn't 100% of my time.. I had my own personal time which I truly need, no matter who I'm with. I had waited for over 2 years for him to listen to me and let me do things I wanted to but it didn't happen. I won't let myself get lost again.

[@asiaslife8045]

I have three kids and your words are pretty died on with what’s been happening with my relationship for 12 years. Thank you.

[@jenalynpepillo9577]

Thank you for giving this advice and making myself worth back instead of begging him to do what I wanted. You're awesome!

[@SOkoro-is1sl]

The one I really do love & fight to keep always care less about me & hurt me. Now I'm done! I don't care not giving my ❤ any guy out there. In fact no more effort from me whatsoever. I'm done massaging a man's ego cooking & checking on them when they give me pain in return. I'm done! Time to focus on myself & the best I can be on planet earth period!

[@enebethelma5718]

I stand with you Same thing going on with me Am taking a walk for good

[@moniquemontague9609]

Fear losing yourself...wow, this spoke volumes. As women, we try to make everyone else happy, while we sometimes forego our own true happiness. Happiness isn't settling for what a man wants to show us when he feels like showing it. Happiness is a man providing unconditional love and support through the good and rough times. It takes two people to have a relationship. If one bails, there isn't any use in trying to shape it together.

[@ashimakahouli748]

After listening to you I felt good 😌 and really appreciate your advice Thankyou We have really to stop fighting for someone who don’t care

[@jessiekusuma9753]

Thank you for this video, Geert. You sound very genuine in delivering your messages and doing what you're doing. We all need to be reminded that we don't have to fight for someone who doesn't want to fight for us. We don't have to convince anyone to love us. If we do, then they're not the right person in the first place :)

[@primer2702]

I've lost myself in a 4 year relationship and at the end of the relationship the man dare to say that he never love me. I've been through ups and downs in his life and even have planned our wedding. But he took his side and said he doesn't wanna marry me. I'm sad but I accept the decision. Now, it's enough. I've decided to love myself. Thank you Brian for the great encouragement.

[@horriblereaction6878]

Usi Unu good job 👏🏾

[@thebirds2406]

So why would you resign for love after one stupid men there are millions of men

[@angiedonams1266]

Wow I hope u find the right one for u. But I mean y wud u waste 4years with someone if u don't love them? I pray u get aperfect someone for u swty

[@tinacarlton9949]

I hope you didn't take him back

[@fadlansmith920]

Woows you have to keep the spirit I'm very sure you will get the best man for you!❤

[@sresh3792]

Thanks Brian I wanted this.. I tried so hard ....I'm tired of this..I should move on

[@adabalde6372]

Me too I m tired of trying fixing but he always hurt me and know I will always be around this time my fears are over I m ready to end it if he wants me he will fight for me or bye bye Keep it up are the queens we should be loved not hurt

[@Dd-po2ij]

Do it dont ever look back. Bless you.

[@Mbuyiselo5]

Ada Balde remember sis, perfect love casts out fear.

[@sresh3792]

@@Mbuyiselo5 It wasn't perfect yaar...

[@denisa239]

Shreshta Karimpilakal ugh me too! 😔

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

Love this. I don’t fight for anyone who doesn’t fight for me. Thank you 🙏

[@atilalongkumer6740]

Best video for me right now🥺. I just realized how much I'm trying to get his attention and I'm losing myself.

[@dakotahogue6640]

[phone]⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.

[@psychicstylist]

I’ve been watching so many videos of ‘relationship advice from men’ on KZbin but none of them are like you Brian Nox! Thank you for always promoting SELF love instead of chasing a man or changing things about ourselves to get his attention. Thank you Brian Nox!!!

[@musikeradaw]

Yeah Matthew Hussey is kinda like teaching women to say specific things that don’t seem to be authentic

[@johanna5688]

KB - but isn't there a point in being in a relationship with a man rather than loving yourself? If you ditch every man who goes off you, then in the end you'll be left by yourself. I get what everyone's saying about we must love & respect ourselves first, absolutely. But in a relationship we must love each other. I think it's cringeworthy to love ourselves more than our man.

[@psychicstylist]

@@johanna5688 of course we must love the other person! but how can we give love if we don’t first love ourself? That’s what people mean when they say “love yourself first”

[@Sandra-bx6yy]

@@johanna5688 maybe play it cool, rather than outright ditch them. Give him the opportunity to "man up" and rise to be the best he can be. In other words, don't smother, mother or be needy. By focusing on yourself and your own life, you discover who you are and what makes you tick. Although a relationship goes through ups and downs and sometimes you give more than the other, it's good to stop and do a self check every now and again. If the balance is heavily one sided, it's time to drop back and ease off the relationship accelerator pedal!

[@leafmealoynederpydeu85]

Let him slip away. I fought before it is pointless. It is a waste of life. Love him but let him go if you love him you let him go but love yourself enough to build your self worth . Remember God loves you despite what any man does or says or woman does or says. Please don't waste your life being a slave to a mans approval or affections.

[@2wyn379]

Brian, thanks for the kind, wise big brother vibe. You are honest and give great examples. Appreciate your work🥰

[@mamitvt885]

Very well said. Fight for the guy who makes you happy. Not for who makes you miserable.

[@haydeemagnabijon8430]

I love him so much. I want him to be the one that I will spend my lofe with. Most of the time he makes me feel unvalued.. ☹️

[@tinacraft8482]

I know the feeling and I am pregnant with his baby and due monday to have our son and still not good enough for him

[@airishviscara2326]

Let him go

[@saranyas6280]

@@tinacraft8482 that's so sad. Hmm. Let u have the courage to fight this

[@saranyas6280]

Let him go. U don't deserve him

[@shahataj1998]

Same here

[@manisha7679]

The fear of loosing u should be organically within himself. If u have to make him fear to loose u...this is not the right guy!

[@amandatory]

This is freaking brilliant. Solid advice spoken very articulately!

[@elee.b8047]

If I could I want to write your words with gold, because you are the only relationship coach , ( in my category of coaches) who never teaches for play games or act, I always ask myself even how people can act as a happy person when they already carrying pain, ???and I think the relationship is a two_way street. Thank you Brian Nox🙏

[@shieldoffaith7099]

Learning to train my ego. It's ok for him not to want me. I am training myself to go only where the love is...Even in friendships and associations... I love those who love me and if love is not being served i walk 🏃🏻‍♀️It has truly transformed my self confidence and life is so much more exciting 💕🌈

[@myFathersDaughter7]

Amen ladies Be afraid of losing yourself. I’ve been married for 20 years and he is exactly right.

[@euphemiamizinga6900]

I am more than grateful for this video. I feel free now. Please continue saving people from broken hearts.

[@TexasToastSam]

Thank you Brian. Nice to hear it from a man. I almost lost myself, but have already taken back my power in the connection. Without games. By focusing on myself and loving myself first. If he wants to come along, that would great because I really do love him, but he may not be the one for me. Hope I can keep his friendship, tho, we have always had a great and fun friendship. Thanks again fir confirming what I already knew in my gut. You are awesome. ❤️

[@namastewellness]

Know better, feel better, do better, attract better.

[@ellenmendoza1365]

He broke my heart right on Valentines Day. And he started the blame game right after and then told me “Im not happy in this” I just ask God to heal me and dont let me become bitter but become wiser and better person. I just wanna move on and find my self confidence back. God knows every man’s thoughts... I dont have to keep fighting for someone who just want to remove me from his life, so he can enjoy being with a new one.

[@EveTrexler87]

Ellen Mendoza My husband worked the 14th so the 15th was our Valentine’s Day and he said he was going to Walmart to get me something and then he never came back

[@boosboos4506]

May the Lord bless u mine lost all his passion for me after two years i cry when im with him im happy when he not there just sucks

[@jamiejackson1780]

Ellen Mendoza 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@Mbuyiselo5]

May God grant you strength and healing

[@siatemba5619]

Amen

[@akinyemitannistuta8978]

Exactly, my point, am grateful I realize I was going to loose myself on time and backed down. I didn't walk away to make him chase me,but I found him desperate to be with me after I walk away. But I didn't just jump in,I think he is narcissist and I deserve better. Thanks for sharing.

[@JontueScent]

Perfect advice for the youth beginning relationships. I lost myself a few times 50 years ago until I met my husband 💗