NEVER Ignore These 9 Dating Red Flags

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Hamza

Hamza

Күн бұрын

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Пікірлер: 2 000
@zen5066
@zen5066 Жыл бұрын
It's hurts to see a person you're interested in have obvious red flags you only see when pinpointed.
@seivenk9453
@seivenk9453 Жыл бұрын
For sure, man. I've been with a girl for 2 years, journaled and analyzed those red flags, only to realize that she has 6 out of 9 of those, the only exception being promiscuity and alcohol/drugs.
@bmb4024
@bmb4024 Жыл бұрын
@@seivenk9453 Chill if you really love her dont worry about a, “list”
@aalvox
@aalvox Жыл бұрын
@@bmb4024 stupid
@xelly8323
@xelly8323 Жыл бұрын
@@bmb4024 nah if he think she ain’t worthy he should leave
@tomtats7594
@tomtats7594 Жыл бұрын
He’s right tho man
@og2484
@og2484 Жыл бұрын
I dated a girl for a few months. She couldn't stop taking pictures of my house (I live with my parent's ofc), of my car (my dad's but I use it a lot)... every time I was out with her, everything had to be on her social media, we went to a festival and she couldn't go 5 minutes without filming everything. At first, I just thought it was part of her personality but she literally lived for social media. I should have walked away way earlier than I did. If something seems off, it probably is. Don't try to justify bad behaviour because you like them. Walk away and move onto the next.
@bentrayn
@bentrayn Жыл бұрын
Was she a content creator or just living the life of one without the followers
@og2484
@og2484 Жыл бұрын
@@bentrayn Nah she wasn’t, she was just one of those people who just feels the need to film and record everything, if I knew she had a content creation channel or something I would have understood but she just had an obsession with filming and posting things
@charliehorrocks
@charliehorrocks Жыл бұрын
@@og2484 you made the right decision bro 🤝
@sgt_mike9730
@sgt_mike9730 Жыл бұрын
Ah yes saw those peoples everywhere taking picture of everything usually when I go out to do something really fun and enjoyable I hated taking photos I rather live in the moment
@thewanderingstruggler8601
@thewanderingstruggler8601 Жыл бұрын
You shouldn’t have to put up with the blatant toxic narcissism of social-media obsessed chicks bruh. Nobody should have to put up with that shit. I truly believe social media was a mistake.
@barenz8185
@barenz8185 Жыл бұрын
1. She doesn´t beleave in your work | 0:55 2. Your partner being addicted to social media | 1:26 3. She´s not grateful | 4:41 4. When a girl has colorful hair and lots of piercings | 5:47 5. Promiscuity & the sexual history | 7:44 6. She has promiscuous friends | 10:16 7. She drinks & does drugs | 13:04 8. She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) | 15:51 9. She´s a bit of a loser | 18:25
@mirkozoppi3302
@mirkozoppi3302 Жыл бұрын
Thanks man (nobody say that to you, but at least here I am)
@stanhunter4685
@stanhunter4685 Жыл бұрын
Thanks bro
@Pumpdaddy1
@Pumpdaddy1 Жыл бұрын
Thanks
@afrossalam2200
@afrossalam2200 Жыл бұрын
thanks ma man
@AustralianCapitalist
@AustralianCapitalist Жыл бұрын
Thanks for savings us 23 minutes
@rupertbear8512
@rupertbear8512 Жыл бұрын
Hamza, the last point is golden. I'm 27 and have been on the 'self improvement' journey for the last 8 years. I'm at a point in life where I have a great job, top 5% physique, huge social circle, close friends I can depend on, and it has made dating SO much harder. My access to women is the best it has ever been, (and only seems to be getting better), but holy s*** are there a lot of jessica's out there! It's gotten to the point where I'm not even really attracted to a girl until I can see they have drive themselves - glad it is something you are guiding other guys to avoid!
@macmanuelodumeru3708
@macmanuelodumeru3708 Жыл бұрын
Did it take you 8 years to have top 5% physique? I'm also 27, but just started hitting the gym
@quasitoantrax
@quasitoantrax Жыл бұрын
Help me bro
@mincarve7697
@mincarve7697 Жыл бұрын
@@macmanuelodumeru3708 it took me less than a year to get a top 5% physique, the more determined u are the less time it will take
@idiot4177
@idiot4177 Жыл бұрын
@@macmanuelodumeru3708 nah it probably took a year or two, most of the 8 years was probably the job lol
@macmanuelodumeru3708
@macmanuelodumeru3708 Жыл бұрын
@@mincarve7697 Thanks for the reply. Around how long did you begin to see good changes in your physique from when you started within the year? A month? 2 months? 3 months? 6 months?
@byfrax2371
@byfrax2371 Жыл бұрын
My biggest W so far in life is meeting a woman who is ambitioned but also feminine. She wants to achieve the possibility of a great career but keeps telling me her absolute goal is not having to work. That is pushing me really hard. She also keeps me hella accountable on self improvement and our relationship is slowly but surely moving into a perfect, more polarized relationship as my growth has exploded. Btw we are both 21 and in this together, so you can do it too!
@lazyguy6182
@lazyguy6182 Жыл бұрын
A claflip guy only can see these kinda videos cant make any action not my wrong to be born like this
@daka.notatp
@daka.notatp 6 ай бұрын
that's awesome to hear, i had felt in love twice with woman like that but they just friendzoned me so I started to think that the problem is liking the "masculine" drive of actually having a pourpose on her lives. But maybe having a direction doesn't mean they aint femenine. How is the relationship going??
@4ortKnox
@4ortKnox Жыл бұрын
Me and my girlfriend watch your videos together and it's such a wholesome feeling being able to talk about how far we've come from how we were before we started dating as individuals and where we are now as one.
@medicinemusic-d5l
@medicinemusic-d5l Жыл бұрын
Make sure to keep some kind of mystery of yourself as a man, if you are both sharing literally everything together, and all your problems and issues in life, she will lose attraction for you.
@Khandomain
@Khandomain Жыл бұрын
You lucky bastard
@MeinungMann
@MeinungMann Жыл бұрын
I'm beyond jealous
@rosemarybai9519
@rosemarybai9519 Жыл бұрын
@@medicinemusic-d5l Nah they're just getting closer to a serious one
@aset8750
@aset8750 Жыл бұрын
Yo babe, lets watch Hamza videos
@neviewchannel
@neviewchannel Жыл бұрын
I dated a girl before who had these red flags. The thing is, I already knew about these red flags, i'm just ignoring it thinking she is different, she's the one. It led me to a 2-year hell. Not only the relationship was hell, but it was also bleeding into other areas of my life. Dumbest decision of my life. It was when I had the courage to broke up with her, I discovered Hamza and had hope that I can change for the better. Hamza insipred me to become the best that I can be.
@mrorlov2706
@mrorlov2706 Жыл бұрын
That is a big mistake unexperienced guys fell in, like " oh no she is special", " its more complicated than you think" and etc, don't worry bro, its good that you decided to share. You will find someone more appropriate for your value eventually
@lilkush468
@lilkush468 Жыл бұрын
same
@glorihol6803
@glorihol6803 Жыл бұрын
fuck dude fuck please im 16 almost 17 and have a girlfriend right now. If anyone reads this please help me i need advice. We have dated for a bit more than a year now but its been hell. Before she dated me she dated a guy who was a gun and drug dealer. She did drugs but quit, now shes religious. Thing is, she cheated on me. I kinda knew it so i cheated on her as well, but it was nowhere as bad. Anyways, now we are kind of good but i think shes cheating on me again. dude i dont know i just have this feeling she is special but what if shes still on the same shit? my feelings are all over the place and i cant help but think im wasting my time with her
@neinja66469
@neinja66469 Жыл бұрын
@@glorihol6803 if she's still on the same shit just leave her dude you'd be way better off without that dead weight on your back You'll have to move past your feelings too if you have any for her at this point Give her a talk if you want but do not expect it to go well when you do cause if she's cheating again she'll likely get defensive and start berating you Happened to me too brother good luck
@laughinghyena888
@laughinghyena888 Жыл бұрын
​@@glorihol6803 you are correct, once there's cheating it's over. Give it up or you will lose all self respect
@RiccoMort
@RiccoMort Жыл бұрын
I put my girl through self-improvement and it made our relationship healthier. I’m glad she was open-minded about everything because otherwise me and her wouldn’t have made it through the year we have spent together. Firstly, I want to say though, don’t be close-minded with relationships if you are on self-improvement, I was like this for so long and I kept saying I want breaks and all that other bullshit, be open-minded but also stay aware of you and her. I’m glad I changed and she did too because the influence she had of me carried to her and we are both very similar now, telling me to keep going with my work or convincing me to do shit when I feel unmotivated to do something, me and her have changed and are still changing into better people. Anyway I got to finish homework. I love her so much and I am marrying her as soon as I get a house with her. Edit : If you do have a girlfriend and she has one or two of these red flags just understand a person can change like the way you have transformed/transforming with self-improvement. Also, thank you to the supportive Adonis’ in the replies of this comment.
@Qweenk23
@Qweenk23 Жыл бұрын
Awe this is soooo cute I wish you both well💚💚💚💛💛
@HMNCLunar
@HMNCLunar Жыл бұрын
These ain't just your average *W's* These are *W's* sized like Egyptian Pyramids upside down
@views-yc3vk
@views-yc3vk Жыл бұрын
W man
@ValourFlame
@ValourFlame Жыл бұрын
Don't get the government involved
@Dragonboy60
@Dragonboy60 Жыл бұрын
damn bro now thats a 2022 love story, wish you all the joy in the world, and after this gay ass world too
@biscuittownd65
@biscuittownd65 Жыл бұрын
I dated a girl at university this year for a couple of months (Feb. 2022 - June 2022). I will NEVER regret leaving her. I met her at the church on the school campus and, although we had the same religious and political values, we had nothing else in common. She was fat, like morbidly obese fat, had fat parents, and had no hobbies besides using social media and watching Netflix. She couldn’t care less about learning new skills or any philosophical ideas I would bring up (I want to be a nurse but I still love philosophy and history). When we “hung out”, we basically walked around stores all day buying random crap and junk food. She would also BEGGED to hang out with me every day. Every time I tried to tell her that we should take some days off she would always get angry and claim “why don’t you wanna hang out with me? Don’t you love me,” in which I would become a submissive Jeffery and follow her every whim. Her family as a whole were a bunch of losers who were middle class but not ambitious about anything. I think they saw I came from money as I come from a middle to upper class lifestyle. She lived near where the university was located and brainwashed me into not wanting to leave her. Being the SIMP I was, I stayed at an apartment near the university. Thankfully, my parents came up to my apartment to save me from what was going on, even though I rebelled against them a little bit because of being brainwashed by my girlfriend. After they came up though, I left the apartment, that university, and that city completely to go back to my hometown to live with my parents. I now go to the university in my hometown studying to become a nurse. I live with my parents who I love, have started weightlifting and cardio so I can attract better looking and mentally healthier girls, and have come back to a lot of my hobbies I abandoned when I was dating my ex-girlfriend. I discovered Hamza in August 2022. As a person who already enjoyed self-improvement and loved men like Jordan Peterson already, Hamza was a perfect addition. Hamza helped me realised that physical attractiveness is very important and that, even though you may have a great personality, your body is just as important. I now wake up every morning at 5:00 AM, eat oatmeal, go to the gym, do weight training, ab exercises, and run a mile as fast as I can. I go every day (except for Sunday. I’m religious remember :P) and have gone from doing 15 lbs on bicep curls to 25 lbs on them. I have also gone from 45 lbs on bench press to 100 lbs. (I’m 5’7 and weight 135 lbs). I have also been able to cut my one mile running time from 14 minutes to 10 minutes. This is a side note but I think is still very good encouragement. I was born with half a heart (Hypoplastic Left-Heart Syndrome is the actual medical term) and have still been able to accomplish all of this in the span of only 4 months. The oldest survivor with my condition is only in their early 40s and babies still die from this heart defect all around the world today. All that to say, don’t make excuses, anything is possible!
@GeorgiGospodinov00
@GeorgiGospodinov00 Жыл бұрын
I study medicine, I do self-improvement - staying disciplined, studying, working out, taking care of my hygiene. I want to show you respect for doing everything you can to improve and live a good life, while having that condition. I wish you a long and fulfilled life! Stay strong!
@Andreas-me8ml
@Andreas-me8ml Жыл бұрын
Very motivational, keep crushing it my friend.
@giannisarcho2940
@giannisarcho2940 Жыл бұрын
Zed my man. you're awesome. keep it up! way to go King! your story is awesome and a very common mistake many of us do. never settle! there's always something better out there!
@nathanw9770
@nathanw9770 Жыл бұрын
Good stuff man. Hopefully with all the good habits you've added to your life you'll be able to live into your 40s or longer. Life is too short to not see what you're capable of.
@biscuittownd65
@biscuittownd65 Жыл бұрын
@@giannisarcho2940 Exactly! I have raised my standards for girls way higher. That girl I was talking about is STILL obese last time I checked her social media, so she obviously is not trying to self-improve and didn't learn anything from the relationship. She is also still working a shitty minimum wage job to help pay for school because she was in a lot of debt coming from out of state to my state. (I don't have any debt because of scholarships and my parents are good at managing money lol). I deleted her number from my phone last month, but before I did, I sent her a picture of me flexing my muscles and said "I win." I don't use any social media besides KZbin, but I checked my Instagram after this text, and she blocked me after I texted her that flexing picture. I just smiled and laughed. After all this, yes this has all happened to me in 2022, (I'm 20), I finally asked out a girl from my high school who I have ACTUALLY wanted to date for a very long time. She sadly said "no" when I asked her. However, for the first time in my entire life of asking girls out, (I have asked 5 girls out in my life so far) I wasn't devastated or sad. I was just happy to finally admit my feelings to her, get it off my chest, and now I can move onto the next girl I would like to date. I know my values and what I stand for. If a girl doesn't want that, then I'll let them go. I know that I’m amazing, and any girl who doesn’t want to date me is missing out on an amazing future husband. Life is so much more FREEING when you stop being a Jeffery! Most women are Jessica's. Adonis doesn't date Jessica's, so why should I?
@jinpachibobochan3532
@jinpachibobochan3532 Жыл бұрын
That social media stuff is true. It's not just GFs, but also friends on so on. I hate it when I'm talking to a person and that person is looking at his/her phone. I once just walked away from the table and the social media addict then complained about why I walked away. I replied, "So, how long did it take for you to notice I walked away?" The embarrassment was real.
@MotivationalHub440
@MotivationalHub440 5 ай бұрын
big facts man
@fidushia
@fidushia Жыл бұрын
I've never felt ready for a relationship, but not having a real strong/long one really messes the mood.
@NEK1911
@NEK1911 Жыл бұрын
True
@Sarah-vi4cx
@Sarah-vi4cx Жыл бұрын
I think context is key......some people are unfortunate and born into troubled households, but that doesn't mean a man or woman is immediately "broken" or a red flag. There is such a thing as therapy and self-improvement. I think that's the real red flag, is if someone doesn't actively try to improve themselves. Shit happens to all of us but if you don't try to heal your own trauma as well as generational trauma then you're not worth it.
@nekin1774
@nekin1774 Жыл бұрын
11:11 Quite Frankly one of my friends was a massive Jeffery, but I slowly got into the good habits, I started reading lifting consistently, and invited my friend to the gym. When he came with me he didn't want to be there but he stuck around, and now as I'm typing this suffering from over training, I wake up to a text of him letting me know he went to the gym and that gave me motivation to keep on going even after I had a injury. I try to be the best person I can at the best of my ability and will follow in your footsteps too, even if I set some others along the way. Thank you hamza
@MikeySully
@MikeySully Жыл бұрын
My Ex, had all of these red flags, and people that knew her, even my friends, tried to tell me, but I ignored it all, got a place with her after six months, because she got evicted from her prior apartment for having too many pets. I went along with all her bad decisions, and it was ruining my life, my worst physical and mental state I’ve ever been in. Once I woke up, broke up, all I wanted to do was improve my self, thanks Hamza for helping me with that, wish I had this video earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have dated her in the first place.. then again it’s good experience for knowing what I don’t want in a partner.
@jonesbedones
@jonesbedones Жыл бұрын
Wow, I can 100% relate to #5. Got my first serious girlfriend being 19 years old, me still a virgin, her not. Wasn't a big deal until she told me she lost her virginity to her best friend out of curiosity and they did hook up multiple times just for the "physical pleasure". Actually broke my heart because i waited for 19 years to meet someone (i thought at that time) special. Never looked at her the same way. Always thought this was about me being insecure. 7 years later i know i doged a bullet there. Self improvement and patience are the only way to go. Absolutely love this video Hamza.
@ykyk2367
@ykyk2367 Жыл бұрын
Same, my ex have similar history and I used to have such terrible mental health because I can never stop imagining her getting railed by the guys she mentioned to me. I rarely slept well because I often dreamt about her getting railed by that guy over and over again. I broke up with her and it was the best decision I have ever made.
@Joemama-pt2ye
@Joemama-pt2ye Жыл бұрын
BRO SAME FEELINGS IVE BEEN THERE BUT I WAS 17 P U R E PAIN
@rhin0039
@rhin0039 Жыл бұрын
I had similar story with my first girlfriend, 18-19 years old virgin that met a "perfect" girl. Now, 3 years later I know that it was a big mistake and learned a lot from that :)
@carlsson2186
@carlsson2186 Жыл бұрын
Bro, you’re not alone, similar case here
@carlsson2186
@carlsson2186 Жыл бұрын
@@mohdzakibagali4351 Bro it depends, here’s my opinion, if she only has had one/two boyfriends maybe it’s ok, just focused on the present man, she may has had sex with other guys but obviously you weren’t in her life, so you can work on it, but if she has like a strong sexual past, sleeping with lot of guys, casual sex and you can’t stop thinking about that, I think you should leave that relationship bro, stay if you feel comfortable
@vexilloman
@vexilloman Жыл бұрын
This is one of the most important videos made in our time and age. Thank you, Hamza for having the strength to say these things out loud. I really love to see that there is someone with a vast amount of listeners out there who is speaking about these issues without trying to sugarcoat the message.
@LukeSpurgeon.
@LukeSpurgeon. Жыл бұрын
I love your outlook on social media. Gentlemen if you’re considering deleting it, GET IT DONE. Since deleting it every aspect of my life has improved tenfold. The KZbin popped off, no distractions, no time wasting, no comparisons, fully focused on my craft and being present.
@sk8ingthemystery
@sk8ingthemystery Жыл бұрын
Not even kidding, just reading this comment reminded me that I've been wanting to disable my instagram account. Literally just did it.
@LukeSpurgeon.
@LukeSpurgeon. Жыл бұрын
@@sk8ingthemystery good lad, best decision you will ever make.
@imilanfit
@imilanfit Жыл бұрын
I can say from my own personal experience that following these rules is a MUST for young men who are on self improvement. And do not believe for a second you can ignore these because your girl is "special".
@Jonis442
@Jonis442 Жыл бұрын
bruh so you should breakup bc she use tiktok
@hettt.patelll
@hettt.patelll Жыл бұрын
@@Jonis442 because she spends 1+ hour on it? definitely yes
@trentferry9051
@trentferry9051 Жыл бұрын
@@Jonis442 yes 100% you should
@imilanfit
@imilanfit Жыл бұрын
@@hettt.patelll agreed.
@aa6_
@aa6_ Жыл бұрын
@@penguinlord-yt9xc so from my understanding, I would agree with the people above, but that also doesn't mean you're wrong. It may be a healthy relationship currently, but usually it'll lead on to become a bad one. I'll try explain what I mean, it's human nature to always want more. For example let's say we were alcoholics and we always drank the same amount, we eventually will get used to that amount. And then we start looking for the next big kick. Same applies to our dopamine levels. So if that person you're dating is not realising it or does not love/respects themselves enough to detox even with your advice, then typically that habit of wanting more will ruin a relationship and themselves. Wanting more is not a bad thing, it's just were you apply it. Example Person A: just wants more dopamine levels from doing nothing and just watching yt shorts Person B: wants more dopamine from self improvement B is getting more than dopamine itself, they're also growing and learning compared to A. I hope that explains the gist of it.
@raccooninadress4758
@raccooninadress4758 Жыл бұрын
i chose to ignore 2 of these red flags and got cheated on in two different occasions after a full year of effort to "try and help her" get rid of her bad habits. people don't want to be helped, they are aware of what they are doing and they will stay true to themselves.
@zucine
@zucine Жыл бұрын
I just got cheated on 1.5 months ago and looking back, she had #2, #3, #6, #7, #8, #9. 5 years down the drain. Maybe it’s for the better at this point.
@raccooninadress4758
@raccooninadress4758 Жыл бұрын
@@zucine at leats you are not getting lied to anymore
@raccooninadress4758
@raccooninadress4758 Жыл бұрын
@@Memento_Mori3210 thanks, i'm trying to
@laraslit
@laraslit 11 ай бұрын
i’m a girl, and i’m watching this to improve myself, this video really explained what i shouldn’t do in a relationship and avoid these things. thank you 🙏🏼
@FootballJunky-r6h
@FootballJunky-r6h 11 ай бұрын
Good girl
@Enryu_uyrnE
@Enryu_uyrnE 3 ай бұрын
@@FootballJunky-r6hrule no. 1 for talking to girls: Don’t say freaking, “good girl” 😂
@aryanarjun3260
@aryanarjun3260 2 ай бұрын
@@Enryu_uyrnE what do u say then?
@masonbronson3194
@masonbronson3194 2 ай бұрын
@@Enryu_uyrnE ur right he shoulda said bad girl baad bad bad gurl
@odmurko2206
@odmurko2206 Жыл бұрын
Always trust your gut feeling, that's something I'll instill in my son. My brain wants to come up with excuses but the gut always knows what's up for some reason
@jahirulsk4439
@jahirulsk4439 Жыл бұрын
yeah man u r correct. same here
@saidharshan5369
@saidharshan5369 Жыл бұрын
I had all these red flags in my past relationship but I still accepted her and wanted her to be forever mine(she dumped me months back). Now I'm working on myself and giving my best to improve 🙌. We are gonna make it brah.
@trangthu2785
@trangthu2785 Жыл бұрын
keep it up bro 👏 i know you could do it 💪💪
@muralisai3078
@muralisai3078 Жыл бұрын
It is more like she was lucky to have you, it is good that she dumped you so that you can work on yourself and find a girl who will actually appreciate you.
@Halfdan96
@Halfdan96 Жыл бұрын
I like how extreme you’re about social media and you’re completely right I noticed my own self become much better mood and notices the world around me more when I deleted all social media apps except Whatsapp and KZbin and I rarely use them
@mikamtr
@mikamtr Жыл бұрын
I dated a girl for 4 years and she had almost every red flags in this video. She doesn’t believed in my work, was addicted to social media, wasn’t grateful and was a completly looser when i look backward at my relationship with her. Of course in the begining i didn’t realised it and it was not as bad it was in the later part of our relationship but it get worse with the time. I already was trying to improve my self and really tried to help her with her life as well but it completly f*cked up my mental health to a point that i gained 10kg of fat in one year cause of binge eating. This girl eventually left me for an other guy but she came back few months later, realising all i was doing for her. Hopefully i moved on realising how toxic my relationship with her was and never came back with her. I continued my self improvement journey, quit smoking, stopped binge eating cause my mental health started improoving, restarted training. Few months later i met a girl who is a total green flag and helped me even more to improove my mental health. We both support each other and it feels great to be in such a non-toxic relationship. I wanted to share my story with you to share this message : Don’t f*ck up your mental health trying to help someone kings. It doesn’t worth it
@racovitastefan2475
@racovitastefan2475 Жыл бұрын
"Shes diferent bro"🤡
@Coachnik8
@Coachnik8 Ай бұрын
I'll change her bro 🤡🤡
@ramitch4581
@ramitch4581 Жыл бұрын
I like that Hamza brings up at certain points how others will try and convince you to change your values (insecure, controlling, misogynist, etc). Let them think whatever they want but if you have come to a standard either through experience, or gut feeling, or thought, then don't listen to these people. If you are trying to find a partner for the rest of your life, to have children with, then who cares what anyone else thinks - they don't have to live with the standards that they try and put onto you, its only you. I was recently having an informal discussion with one of my friends and I mentioned that if I ever have children, they won't be allowed to go crazy with social media. He was taken aback by this and through his tone seemed to think that I was crazy. We had a back and forth about it where I justified why I came to that conclusion and he gave arguments for why he thinks that approach is wrong. I respect his opinion as my friend, but my reasoning trumped his (to me at least), so I kept that value.
@Xman_Hz
@Xman_Hz Жыл бұрын
Perfect timing on this video. I’ve been single for 3 years and focused solely on my college career and now I’m going to the best hospital in the US for an internship for a field that is in high demand. I recently met a girl from my hometown who checks all the right boxes and these red flags definitely made it clear to me that she’s a keeper. Thanks Hamza 🙏
@tomtats7594
@tomtats7594 Жыл бұрын
Good shit brother
@ModernVagabondIsHere
@ModernVagabondIsHere Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video Hamza. My ex broke up with me a few days ago, she said she couldn't do a relationship right now. It hurt, but she very much had the last bad habit. She would stay up late, sleep till 2 pm, go to work, and then just eat junk food and play video games all night. I've been doing self improvement for a few months now, and whenever we hung out, it never felt that good because I was doing the same things she was. Thank you for making this video, really will help me evaluate future partners
@lleanh9072
@lleanh9072 Жыл бұрын
I feel you bro, I am currently going through the exact same thing. My ex of three years broke up with me because I really got into self improvement and wanted to get rid of my bad habits while she wanted to continue to go partying and doing a lot of unhealthy stuff which I didnt want to share with her anymore. It hurts, but stay strong!
@ModernVagabondIsHere
@ModernVagabondIsHere Жыл бұрын
@@lleanh9072 you too brother, we both gonna make it!
@AS-ie6id
@AS-ie6id Жыл бұрын
Sounds like she saw you improving and it made her feel worse about herself. As sad as it is, good job
@ModernVagabondIsHere
@ModernVagabondIsHere Жыл бұрын
@@AS-ie6id she knew I went to the gym, she didn't. I even tried to help her get into exercising. She also knew I liked to eat clean, and she didn't really. I would also encourage her to eat clean, at least a little. Maybe you're right, if so, it's a good thing it's over
@Autistic_Helicopter
@Autistic_Helicopter Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a dream, send her my way.
@Tangologic0
@Tangologic0 Жыл бұрын
I'm young and don't need to worry about dating but the many girls I've dated in my life have had many of these red flags. At first I thought I was the problem but many of them were the problem that I can see now. But ever since i've been watching your videos seriously, my life has never been so much happier.
@mies626
@mies626 Жыл бұрын
as u said it u guys r young& constantly changing. make mistakes and long lasting memories
@exhaustedgamer.7248
@exhaustedgamer.7248 Жыл бұрын
@@mies626’ make mistakes’ what stupid advice.Just cuz ur life is shit and and u regret how u wasted ur youth doesn’t mean u should encourage someone else to live ur shit medicore life
@hellboy0189
@hellboy0189 Жыл бұрын
Especially girls from Western Europe and the US are like this. I live in Czech Republic and it’s completely different and girls have a very active lifestyle, full of sport, hobbies and activities like reading books and learning languages. I am from Italy and in there girls are just entitled and what they do with their free time? Nothing special really, most of the interesting things they do in their life is travelling and go places at the expenses of their boyfriends who lives with his parents and on their financial support. They are red flags and not interesting at all. Many things they can do I can do as well but on top of that I can do many other things. Of course not all of them are like this but probably because of a mixture of factors (Catholicism, US culture, conservative and maschilist way of thinking when it’s up to families and feminism) many girls have a f****d up mind and act like they deserve the best guy in social media while they are completely useless and helpless and just barely nice looking due to heavy make up.
@csendesmmunista8867
@csendesmmunista8867 Жыл бұрын
@@hellboy0189 Then again, you cant generalize a group of people.
@johnsonjoshua5531
@johnsonjoshua5531 Жыл бұрын
The key to Divine love I’m learning is letting them go and trusting yourself. Voice your concern and don’t stop them. If your partner wants to go to the bar or whatever social gathering you have to trust yourself in knowing that there’s a possibility they could make a mistake. When you allow someone the chance to make a mistake you give them an opportunity to learn wether or not the relationship ends. We’re all humans and every single one of us man or woman has our own unique and individual life path.
@deciding
@deciding Жыл бұрын
Everyone needs to listen to this video, I blindly ignored these red flags in one of my exes and it completely ruined me as a person. Now that I have upped my standards and myself as a person, my life has never been better. Remember your life can be significantly improved if you make the quality of the people around you better.
@the_phen0m639
@the_phen0m639 Жыл бұрын
Thank you I will pray for you and men who went through this Why do good men have to go through this hell? Especially the hookup-One night stand part
@RiccoMort
@RiccoMort Жыл бұрын
10:16 , I preach this point so much, her friends are usually a big influence on her and her personality and her friends could one day convince her to do something and it will fuck everything up.
@bentrayn
@bentrayn Жыл бұрын
This is true. I was with my ex for about a year when my ex’s best friend (as we went into our freshman year of college) started bad-talking me any time I had a disagreement. My perspective wasn’t considered, and she just didn’t like me because I’m naturally more reserved and introverted while she’s the opposite. Over the course of freshman year my ex would tell me things that her friend didn’t like about me (triangulation) to point out my faults, and it really wore on me. We broke up by the end of the year. I’m relieved to not have to worry about that anymore since I’m single and plan to be for a while. It’s crazy to me how something that seemed to be so important in my life ended up being just a mere lesson that I’ll hopefully be able to tell my kids about someday.
@forhimbyher2689
@forhimbyher2689 Жыл бұрын
I'm a woman and promiscuity should be nm 1 on the list
@bill5563
@bill5563 Жыл бұрын
does thwt mean my relationship of 2.5 years is doomed because my girl used to be like that for a couple years in her early 20s?
@user-fx6fg9hl5p
@user-fx6fg9hl5p Жыл бұрын
@@bill5563 yeah bro depending on how bad it was the relationship could be doomed to fail. either she'll struggle to pair bond or significantly increase the chances of cheating.
@Ivan-eo8du
@Ivan-eo8du Жыл бұрын
@@bill5563 I mean if you know for a fact that she turned her life around then it should be all good, but I wouldn't trust her blindly. As that other guy said it increases her likelihood of cheating.
@bill5563
@bill5563 Жыл бұрын
@@Ivan-eo8du yes i really believe she has
@bill5563
@bill5563 Жыл бұрын
@@Ivan-eo8du My godparents who are in their 50s recently got a divorce. My godmothers reasoning being that she wants to live her life. She ws young and a virgin when she married him. This sort of thing can happen either way
@Alan27277
@Alan27277 Жыл бұрын
i agree with most of the video but a point i do want to make is that not every girl you’ll met is going to be perfect. you really have to find the one girl that is the most open minded and will allow you to help her as she will help you too. if you like a girl you eventually build her up to delete social media like how i did with mine. My partner isn’t fully invested into self improvement as i am but she is slowly getting there. So i guess the question you have to ask yourself is, which girl is worth to invest in and building upon with?
@theshanepig
@theshanepig Жыл бұрын
Tell me how this works. One of my friends told me people don't change
@Alan27277
@Alan27277 Жыл бұрын
@@theshanepig depends on what you believe in man. We all change like every 6 months we see things differently as we get older. I’ve witnessed it with time people do change and if you’re trying to make your girl better it all hast to start with you and have strict discipline and she will eventually follow you with due time
@theshanepig
@theshanepig Жыл бұрын
@@Alan27277 I can respect that. I've tried to help her improve and I've invested over 3 years into her. All the while going through a massive self improvement transformation myself and changing everything about my life. She kind of went around in a circle and hasn't changed much at all. She can't keep habits and her whole friend group are all subpar at best in terms of habits and improvement. I really have wanted to believe she would change when given the example and years of a chance but at some point we're becoming such different people we can't relate very well anymore.
@dawn_darklight
@dawn_darklight Жыл бұрын
@@theshanepig for me, you actually proved his whole point. Keep up the good things 🙏
@theshanepig
@theshanepig Жыл бұрын
@@dawn_darklight Thank you! Just gotta make the best of your life and never let others set the standard for what you can become.
@byeukanlos8470
@byeukanlos8470 Жыл бұрын
My gf broke up with me the other day after 6 months. She said that she wasn't ready for a relationship now, because she needs alone time and that she needed to look out for and work on herself after starting her new job. (We hung out twice a week usually, mainly a sleepover on a weekend, with one weekend a month we wouldn't see each other. So like 6 days per monthish. We were also an hour and a half drive from each other.) She also said I was the kindest boyfriend she's ever had, all her family and friends said how nice I was and how much they liked me compared to her other bf's. I was giving 100% and she wasn't, it was a one sided relationship and she acknowledged it. But in the end she needed all this alone time and didn't want to make any compromises and I was the one making all the compromises. She said that it isn't fair to me, and basically broke up with me saying the it's not you it's me line. I keep telling myself if she wanted us to work out then she would have put the effort in on her end so we could have worked through it. The thing is all the time we spent together when we were together in person was just amazing, always laughing together and having fun. She had the best personality of anyone I've ever known, super funny, and just really easy to talk to and get along with. But when we weren't together, communication started to become an issue after starting her job. It's sad because I lost my best friend. I'm still a bit sad and getting over it, but she had a promiscuous past as well. We're both 28, and I was a bit jealous or mindful about her past too, she had like 25+, a few relationships and the rest ONS, and I only really had her. (I tried a ONS but wasn't that comfortable with the idea.) Her and I barely did it as much as she said she used to, due to some medical problems from recent years. Maybe two to three times a month on average with me as opposed to wanting it nearly every day like she said she used to. I definitely thought of her past a few times while we were together and a story she told me about being with a guy nearly every night in college after a breakup. I brought it up with her once or twice that I wasn't feeling satisfied in that area. She didn't want to compromise at all on that end, and I don't blame her for not wanting to, but then I would think back to when she would do it with other random guys just like that, but not with me. So either way, it didn't feel good. A promiscuous past is definitely something to be mindful of, whether we want to admit it or not. Hell I wish I could see past it and get over it, and I tried to the times I thought of it. Like Hamza said, the relationships didn't bother me as much as the ONS's. Even though it's part of the past, we still think about it here and there, at least I did. She brought that up as well, and said that she's with me and not them. In the end though, she must not have loved me as much as I loved her. Could be that it was bad timing, or that it's a promiscuous past, but definitely seems like the more partners someone has the less reciprocated the relationship will be.
@TheOrdinarySpiderman
@TheOrdinarySpiderman Жыл бұрын
You are so right about the social media and body count thing that's why I don't even ask what her body count is. It's like men can't have standards anymore and if we do we're called insecure
@bill5563
@bill5563 Жыл бұрын
should a girl get upset if a guy has fucked heaps of chicks?
@TheOrdinarySpiderman
@TheOrdinarySpiderman Жыл бұрын
@@bill5563 she has every right to be if that's what you're asking. I personally wouldn't date a girl with a huge body count and if a woman doesn't want to date a guy with a high body count that's completely fine
@shawnhere7020
@shawnhere7020 Жыл бұрын
@@bill5563 Like we say we have different expectations from the opposite sex. If you wanna have same standards like men then you gonna have a hard time. But, that's you
@aluumina
@aluumina Жыл бұрын
TIMESTAMPS AND SUMMARY: 0:55 RF#1: She doesn´t believe in your work 1:26 RF#2: She's addicted to social media (1+ hrs a day on TikTok) 4:41 RF#3: She´s not grateful (and is entitled) - so it'll be more difficult to praise her 5:47 RF#4: She has colorful hair and lots of piercings (higher chance she's promiscuous) 7:44 RF#5: She's promiscuous and has hooked up before (non-wholesome vibes, might not take you seriously) 10:16 RF#6: She has promiscuous friends (who'll reinforce her bad habits) 13:04 RF#7: She drinks & does drugs (and therefore doesn't have her priorities straight) 15:51 RF#8: She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) - meaning you'll have to deal with her baggage if she doesn't want to address it herself 18:25 RF#9: She´s a bit of a loser (she won't 1+1=3 your life, but rather bring you down to her level).
@3z3O
@3z3O Жыл бұрын
Seek the lord and savior. Jesus Christ is the lord he is king the way, will and way. ✝️🙏
@temposetter1091
@temposetter1091 Жыл бұрын
all women are practically like this
@kajuss9083
@kajuss9083 Жыл бұрын
I got ghosted because I told the girl that I dont have social media and dont go to parties.. Crazy generation
@Andres-cq3ly
@Andres-cq3ly Жыл бұрын
She did you a favor
@Lilbigguy777
@Lilbigguy777 Жыл бұрын
This video has honestly helped me evaluate my past relationships and think more about the future
@Drakinomikron
@Drakinomikron Жыл бұрын
I honestly feel #6 applies to everyone in life. If you want a good idea about anyone's personality and character, look at the people they surround themselves with. It can tell you a lot about who you are going to be involved with be it a significant other or even a friend.
@samueltheadequate5112
@samueltheadequate5112 Жыл бұрын
Thanks big papa👍
@cheersbro7347
@cheersbro7347 Жыл бұрын
Based pfp
@K-in7xv
@K-in7xv Жыл бұрын
😂😂??
@Gahwotchii
@Gahwotchii Жыл бұрын
"I like it when you call me B.I.G. Poppa"
@jarlbalgruuf7701
@jarlbalgruuf7701 Жыл бұрын
A woman having a promiscuous sexual past is definitely the most important. there’s been studies that show that after about 5 bodies she significantly loses her ability to pair bond with a mate and after 10 she basically can’t anymore, and will be very likely to cheat/divorce. Women very much should be shamed and called a bad person for engaging in that behaviour it’s disgusting.
@paolomartinelli345
@paolomartinelli345 Жыл бұрын
Can u link me the studies, not trying to contest, I'm truly interested
@RealMuthaphuckinnG
@RealMuthaphuckinnG Жыл бұрын
source?
@victorachim3951
@victorachim3951 Жыл бұрын
Ay it's Jarl Balgruuf no way
@notoriouskid7105
@notoriouskid7105 Жыл бұрын
Bro who cares about the studies and all like if you dislike or feel disgust from particular behavior than it is a big enough reason to not get with someone or just break up you should listen more to yourself (logically not emotionally)than some studies that tell you how you should feel
@episode2moonandback411
@episode2moonandback411 Жыл бұрын
Interesting! I am wondering though, was it the same conclusion for male subjects?
@Lior8801
@Lior8801 Жыл бұрын
about the 6th flag, Not so long ago, i used to had "friends" who not only were bad friends with bad habits but they also tried to take me down with them and laughed at me every time i refused to them, nowdays I'm in a better environment with friends who encourage me to take good actions and learn and be a better and nicer person, and we also train together. love you hamza (BTW, some of them also watch your videos :) )
@nasimahm3d
@nasimahm3d Жыл бұрын
the part where you said you’re the average of who you spend time with hit me 😔 it’s hard making friends because of how strict my parents are. i haven’t had one for 7 years. when i was younger i had friends in school but that was the only place i could meet them, i was never allowed out, so our friendship never developed more than just school. nowadays guys my age (23) prefer to hang out at night after a long day of work, my parents don’t allow me to do that so i know i can’t make any meaningful friendships if i don’t hang out at night at least a few times. out of desperation i cried to mum last year telling her that people my age need friends and told her that she kinda ruined my life, but she didn’t care. i’m a muslim and want to stay muslim so i can’t really cut them off and live my life. i feel so trapped and left behind in life. all i do is work at the hospital, come back home, watch a few shows, sleep and repeat. i’ve come so close to death several times, i don’t know how much longer i can just hold on.
@bumcheek3558
@bumcheek3558 Жыл бұрын
It feels good to hear the things said that many of us believe but don't feel we are able to vocalize. Especially with promiscuity, the idea that men feel they shouldn't be feeling that pain and disgust makes it all the more unpleasant, when in reality, it is a completely justified feeling that you should trust
@notyrants507
@notyrants507 Жыл бұрын
Seeing your content since January this year. I met a girl with 7 of this 9 red flags. Basically, it´s enough. Thanks Hamza, again, and again.
@kuj0176
@kuj0176 Жыл бұрын
Things I like about Hamza part ?? - He's not afraid to discuss the most controversial topics, even if it regards the truth. Modern day "self-improvement" channels give us only a general understanding of a complicated topic while trying to stay politically correct for the fear of "being cancelled" or not getting enough views, but fellow bro Hamza is out here speaking to us one on one, and giving us the cold hard truth from experience. Thanks for keeping it real :)
@Kevzult
@Kevzult Жыл бұрын
Guys need good dating advice in general, so many are confused. Thanks for posting
@MJY5drives
@MJY5drives Жыл бұрын
In my freshman year of high school, I was dating a girl who had somewhat of a body count. Some of them being consensual, and others not, unfortunately. She had rumors that followed her, and emotional trauma that she cast on me unintentionally. My mistake in all of this was staying with her for as long as I did after knowing the issues she had (that she also admitted to not having recovered from). Soon enough, her problems started to become mine, and I was miserable in the relationship. I still feel sorry for her to this day, although I will remember to sever ties when it's needed next time.
@vladislavohremenco3472
@vladislavohremenco3472 Жыл бұрын
My guy figured it all out. Not alot of guys or even men know about all that stuff and thank god there are people like you who understand what it means to have a healthy relationship.
@hamarabhai78
@hamarabhai78 Жыл бұрын
Hamza is the older brother I never had, thank you for just existing Hamza
@chandradityampk
@chandradityampk Жыл бұрын
always thought I was in the wrong for having this opinions but it is of immense happiness for me to know that I've like minded brothers.
@covermysins
@covermysins Жыл бұрын
thank you for this video hamza. i was in a relationship a couple months ago for about a 2-3 weeks, and i recently found out that she started an of with her new downgraded boyfriend. i wish i got myself out of that toxic relationship, but i had a fear of being alone & i feel like a lot of people can relate with me on that. all of these red flags you talked about, she portrays. it took me a couple months to finally heal, and i’m doing better than i was when i was in a relationship. the love & attention i got i could’ve just given to myself, the only person i need is myself at the end of the day. i don’t regret meeting her nor dating her, because now i know what to look out for if i decide to get into another relationship. keep carrying the message, and bettering people.
@t4t3animations8
@t4t3animations8 Жыл бұрын
I like how you added downgraded like he some bot 😂
@covermysins
@covermysins Жыл бұрын
@@t4t3animations8 he might aswell be, because he looks ideally like any other civilian you’d see at a store or something. weak minded, terrible physique, doesn’t think for themselves, i think you understand where i’m coming from lol.
@marex1157
@marex1157 Жыл бұрын
bro this man spitting truth, i went down these roads and regret it so much, remember guys even if you are good at pulling girls. let the ones go that show these red flags, let them go as early as you can
@a7c777
@a7c777 Жыл бұрын
Great to hear these things as a guy. Society’s kinda beaten us down and encouraged promiscuity and superficiality. Instant gratification is the new way but I don’t think we’re really built for that. I think guys have always cared about body counts and stuff but as we got older we were collectively peer pressured not to care as a collective. Its one thing to not care about body counts individually, but sex and sexuality is a pretty vulnerable state. It’s the thing that shows emotional bonds, and to turn that and commodify sexual history to just reducing it to “something that feels good and is trivial to record” really just goes to show how influential the material lifestyle has gone to be. Last week i downloaded tinder for the first time because my new group of friends kept talking about matches and hookup stories and I felt left out for not prioritizing hookups and getting banged. But deep down I knew i didnt want hookups more than a relationship, but rather, I was scared to be in a relationship and be vulnerable when society as a collective seems to discourage valuing relationships over materialistic sexual ideologies so I was willing to throw away my principles n worth all just for a PP massage and feeling relevant. Deleting Tinder immediately now. Thank you brother, this stuff NEEDS to be said
@Jake-we2ce
@Jake-we2ce Жыл бұрын
I appreciate your advice in this video I’m currently starting a relationship with a high quality woman but I noticed that I have some of these red flags still so I’m going to stop pursuing this relationship and continue to do more work on myself.
@Thej4589
@Thej4589 Жыл бұрын
What red flags were there?
@aa6_
@aa6_ Жыл бұрын
If she's a high quality women, then just talk to her about this. It might make your journey easier.
@SvjatoslavPodoplelov
@SvjatoslavPodoplelov Жыл бұрын
Thank you for being open and sharing some of your very personal feelings with your people. It probably takes a lot of confidence to do a talk like that.
@EricGraham94
@EricGraham94 Жыл бұрын
When Hamza talked about red flag 8 and talked about how a boy raised by an abusive father ends up becoming an abusive father himself… that hit so hard. I was 6 when I watched my parents violently divorce in the living room and in my own bedroom. It was stressful to even have to switch between both households per state custody agreements (now divorce is a household topic). I remember if I screwed up in either of my parents’ eyes, I’d get “you’re just like your mom/dad.” Hell I used to endure abuse from my father until the night I turned 18. But here’s the fucked up part outside of my family - it’s almost trained into people that people who’ve endured abuse become abusers. I mean… I haven’t particularly done anything abusive and questioned after HS graduation if I would be cursed to be like my father or not. But it doesn’t matter to people I guess, no matter how much self reflection I do. In 2015, I got screwed over and betrayed by a former homie (I didn’t find out about his role till several years after the fact) who told a gal I was into and flirting with about my upbringing. She then USED that information to spread a narrative to strangers and my own friends (mutuals or not) that I’m unstable and violent. I got blocked en masse and losing support from a majority of my own friends and given the kinda stare by strangers like I deserved to be thrown into the chair. That was a gut punch that I ended up hating everything and everyone. Now here I am, 27 years old, and I’ve accepted that I’m a product of crazy. Both my parents are their own blend of fucked up. I still think that a majority of the masses - even to this day - are just bitter cutthroat savages who wouldn’t hesitate to you or each other alive. Now I don’t tolerate weakness or failure, but I’m struggling to rediscover what it means to genuinely connect with anyone anymore. It’s like how 2015 played out ended up fracturing my ability to do so
@luisbendezu6372
@luisbendezu6372 Жыл бұрын
Dang I rly feel sorry about what happened w ur parents. I haven't been on the same boat as you but I can strongly resonate w u. I hope now u still improving, cheer up
@EricGraham94
@EricGraham94 Жыл бұрын
@@luisbendezu6372 basically it just sucks that people’s attitudes towards people who’ve endured abuse is basically “you’re doomed.” It just makes me think “why bother with anyone?”
@shawnhere7020
@shawnhere7020 Жыл бұрын
Im into kinky stuff like belt and a lil abuse in bed. But, I am against hitting a girl honestly cause I have a lil abusive dad. He isnt a rage monster who drinks all the time. But, he gets angry once in awhile in few months.
@EricGraham94
@EricGraham94 Жыл бұрын
@@shawnhere7020 so his rage is a quarterly cycle
@ezo6871
@ezo6871 Жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree with hamza about social media. I used to have TikTok and my Brian was so distracted. Social media makes you find things you always wanna see which makes it harder to make you happy, laugh or just be satisfied with life.
@lxalph7080
@lxalph7080 Жыл бұрын
“comparison is the thief of joy” -Unknown
@raadmissile7232
@raadmissile7232 Жыл бұрын
Hi Hamza, you've mentioned several times that a girls relationship with her father is extremely important and that if her father isn't around or that she doesn't have a good relationship with her father it's a huge red flag. But Hamza, I grew up without a father. I grew up without knowing what a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife looks like. What am I supposed to do? Am I a red flag too? I'm not hating or anything but I have a genuine question. Be it a young man like me or a girl how do we find our ways to happiness? Will we ever? If someone else is reading this and has something interesting to say please do I'm always searching for answers.
@billastoriofkaferedaki
@billastoriofkaferedaki Жыл бұрын
Hey man,I had (still have from time to time) a similar question since my family enviroment too wasnt the best, to the point where i thought too if i would end up as my parents,always arguing,not helping or listening to each other,always talking about divorcing and weak threats,etc. After a lot of thinking and through experiences with people and love (good and bad) I realised that realising that you may end up like your parents when you dont want to do since you want to be better is the first step towards becoming better. If you get into a relationship with a girl and yshe has a similar problem and thought.....well, just talk bout it. Be open with them and let them open,seek help from someone professional,ask your friends their opinion (if you think they can give a decent opinion anyway). Even if you aint on a relationship,you should go and seek help,from a pro, a good friend or both, and see if you've found any way to combat that bad future that could happen. And,of course, always remember who you are and what you want to be....someone who doesnt try to change things,makes things worse,shouts etc....or someone who listens and wants to help and uplift those who he/she cares about and trys his/her best to be their best self. Sorry if it ended long btw but i'd like to hope that my words will give you some insight or help you,even a bit. Good day my friend and good luck to your journey.
@LTD_LEARNTODRAW
@LTD_LEARNTODRAW Жыл бұрын
Be stoic Learn how to fight Keep a sharp mind and a sharp body Master your craft Do what needs to be done, not what you want to do Those are the only values you should have as a real man
@justfallfoward6367
@justfallfoward6367 Жыл бұрын
You're not a red flag my friend. It's good that you're watching Hamza because he teaches things a father should teach their child. The key is to educate yourself on healthy relationships and to be the best man you can be. Take care
@yurameshi5189
@yurameshi5189 Жыл бұрын
He's just saying in general a person being from a broken home is a red flag. But not everyone from a broken home is a fuck-up, just like not everyone from a good family is a good person. But this is just a statistical trend.
@bashbashbashu
@bashbashbashu Жыл бұрын
The fact you recognized this, is a bigger green flag than being in a good home. Self introspection is huge
@assasinsjeff
@assasinsjeff Жыл бұрын
One thing I feel different is that one of the best indicators is how a girl/lady is with her mother, not her father. Because they inherit feminine energy from their moms, the same way men inherit masculine energy from their dads. I feel the most sacred/real relationships, ideally are Mother-Daughter and Father-Son. Because a mother is usually very overprotective of their sons and a father is usually very overprotective of their daughter, so, I'm going to be blunt, there is more pampering and less learning in general.
@mmmm...561
@mmmm...561 Жыл бұрын
Moms supporting hoes nowadays sooooo..
@md02762
@md02762 Жыл бұрын
I'm a girl and I totaly agree with you.....IF the guy doesn't have theas red flags to. For example: if you spend 4 hours a day on tiktok and post photo's on you instagram acount, you can't ask me to don't have an acount of instagram and don't use tiktok. If the guy doesn't spend much time on his phone and he ask me to don't do it either, I will do as he say. But I imagen that was clear from the beginning, anyway, good video man and sorry for bad english
@ayoutubecommenter7494
@ayoutubecommenter7494 Жыл бұрын
I realized this at the start of the video and I can tell you it adds an another layer to the video: You can't expect a girl not to behave this way (drinking, promiscuous etc.) if YOU do the same things. Then you won't be any better and this can easily be the reason the same high value girl you want rejects you. So while this video talks about girls I recommend watching it again knowing that it's about you just as much as the girl you want. I wasn't watching many of Hamza's videos lately because they got repetitive but I've been following him and oh this video made me realize so many things. Especially in terms of friends I'm in an envirement where many of my friends do these bad habits and it can actually get across very badly to the girl I'm into and I also have to stop some bad habits of mine. She's literally that much better for not drinking for example and until now I didn't think it this way. I was like it's okay if she doesn't want to but actually... Why do I?
@jugoboss2026
@jugoboss2026 Жыл бұрын
Seeing this after a breakup about like a month it’s definitely eye opening because she was literally almost all of these, and seeing this know I think I dodged a bullet, i felt terrible mentally and lost myslef trying to appeal to her but now I’m thriving and I feel better than ever progressing on my goals and fixing my habits again. But crazzyyyy for sure dodged a bullet there.
@scouzathehoodlum
@scouzathehoodlum Жыл бұрын
I want someone to change my mind. I don't think there are girls around my age who don't have any of these red flags. When a girl becomes a woman she will start to value motherhood and good habits like yoga, eating healty etc. There are barely any young adult/teenage girls who don't have social media and who don't go out. I can either lower my standards or stay alone for now.
@totolick7328
@totolick7328 Жыл бұрын
Same boat here man
@Suninrags
@Suninrags Жыл бұрын
I kid of course
@averageminecraftenjoyer9419
@averageminecraftenjoyer9419 Жыл бұрын
Same for me,but i like someone who shares my hobbies too
@Clemdelin
@Clemdelin Жыл бұрын
Exactly what I thought bro, every 18yo girl goes out and hooks up etc, its literally impossible to find someone who doesn't
@patrickananas1999
@patrickananas1999 Жыл бұрын
I have a girl like that. There are out there. But I will break up with her for other reasons...
@MrFalcon58199
@MrFalcon58199 Жыл бұрын
People, trust this man. Every single thing he says is 100% on point. I can confirm this from my own experience.
@marie-stellamakoumbou2709
@marie-stellamakoumbou2709 Жыл бұрын
As a 20 year old young woman, I loved the video and your perspective ❤
@kwtty
@kwtty Жыл бұрын
as a girl i agree in all the things u said, and im trying to change so bad in some stuff
@ruinedyourgame8560
@ruinedyourgame8560 Жыл бұрын
so about 2 days ago the girl I was dating for bit more then 5 months left me after spending the christmas days together. Pointing out the red flags you mentioned makes me realize that she indeed had red flags (namely 1,8 and 9). I was so in love with her that I accepted them as I'm of course not perfect myself, but knowing that we really weren't compatible makes the burden of being left (again) more bearable. Thank you for that. Also I'm gonna start investing in myself physically and mentally to prevent myself getting into the same or similar situation again.
@Sergeezie
@Sergeezie Жыл бұрын
Respect to Hamza for this honest video
@colorfulalchemy9764
@colorfulalchemy9764 Жыл бұрын
im not some huge workout dude or anti video games, but i care a lot about the grades im getting and i work hard to keep them high (im in highschool by the way), and yes i do play videogames a lot in my free time but just because i think its fun. I can talk to girls and im pretty confident, but im more focused on what i want to actually do with my life and my closer friends. I don't use social media at all either. I can't say what people who do feel, but if you feel like taking 2 days away from it would be hard, then you need to get off it. One of hamzas biggest points in my opinion is social media. People seriously don't understand how bad it can be for you and a lot of people really just don't know what it would be like without it. I encourage you all to try and if not quit it, just limit yourself and practice self control more.
@viokre1698
@viokre1698 Жыл бұрын
Same here. I study hard for my future because i have goals and dreams. But i'm called nerd. I am not actually a loser. And i'm anti social media person. It is good to see someone who has something in common with me👍🏻
@AzureSmooth
@AzureSmooth Жыл бұрын
@@viokre1698 Yeah bro they might call you nerd now, then you can look back at them when they come work for you in the future 👍
@viokre1698
@viokre1698 Жыл бұрын
@@AzureSmooth It will be my turn to make fun of them
@redbox1976
@redbox1976 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Hamza, I've Never thought I'd Reach this point.
@amarisd.5430
@amarisd.5430 Жыл бұрын
VERY good advice. thank you for telling the truth and not being afraid of what other people have to say about it. Its so good to hear someone tell the truth how it is for once. As a women I agree with everything you said. Keep making great content
@ralibros7679
@ralibros7679 Жыл бұрын
"but Hamza, than its impossible to find the perfect girl" yes it is my friend. its impossible, but its gift from God. One day you will find her, just keep strong and it will worth
@davidecelino3805
@davidecelino3805 Жыл бұрын
Incredibile, the girl who broke my heart really had these characteristics
@ModernVagabondIsHere
@ModernVagabondIsHere Жыл бұрын
Same man, she especially had the last trait. Idk why I'm so hung up on her, but I'm gonna focus on me now
@kojicopino6590
@kojicopino6590 Жыл бұрын
Same
@Andrewbrookeofficial
@Andrewbrookeofficial Жыл бұрын
I had a girlfriend a few months ago. I broke up with her because somethings were very different between us. One time she stayed at my place and we cudled the whole afternoon, and when she had to go home to eat, I thought by myself, what productive things did I do today? Literally cudling. Its fk stupid because she was also addicted to social media. And the point you made with her friends, my ex had the same kinda friends, and a few weeks ago i heard she had a one night stand with some guy she didnt knew earlier, friends influence people, glad you made this video Hamza, it made everything more clear. (Normally I dont talk open about this kinda stuff but it is a bit of a relief to share with al you guys who are also on self improvement, not feeling lonely on this journey💪)
@zackp7027
@zackp7027 Жыл бұрын
I recently had a 5 year relationship end and was left confused and wondering why, turns out in the last year of the relationship she developed 6 of the 9 red flags listed here, now I'm not so confused 😂
@jamesxkiernan
@jamesxkiernan Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Hamza, you have changed my life for the better and i am very grateful for it. I try to spread your message as much as possible and i managed to get one of my friends off TikTok. You change so many peoples lives and you're doing such a great thing. Thanks!
@usernameorsomething6270
@usernameorsomething6270 Жыл бұрын
My crush that I had before my girlfriend now was exactly like this. Like at least half of the stuff. If you don't want to feel this pain then take my pro tip: Practice stoicism and learn to accept and move on. Sounds dumb I know, but this has helped me a lot. To the point that now that I have a girlfriend, she is staring at me in classes. We all have red flags already that were working on getting away, don't add another in your life. Be stoic, rise above, love you all ❤️
@Qwertz_Qwertz
@Qwertz_Qwertz Жыл бұрын
I am 14 and you have changed me. At one point I would get high everyday and at my lowest I would take pills and almost overdosed, AT 13! I now just made myself a balanced meal after washing my sheets and I could not stop myself from smiling. So Thank you and I have no idea how to thank you enough. And I hope your message never dies.
@tsunaofficial6611
@tsunaofficial6611 Жыл бұрын
bro are you aging backwards?
@Qwertz_Qwertz
@Qwertz_Qwertz Жыл бұрын
@@tsunaofficial6611 what do you mean
@vincnt1
@vincnt1 Жыл бұрын
similar story to me bro i od'd at 13-14 too maybe we could improve together? p.s im trans i hope thats okay
@epistimonkapetanios
@epistimonkapetanios Жыл бұрын
These red flags remind me of my ex I had on 9th grade. I can safely say that I am glad that our relationship ended after a month.
@Skronkyskronkson
@Skronkyskronkson Жыл бұрын
I can attest to this, my ex was on tik tok almost all the time unless she was doing school or talking about tv or tik tok.... it had a huge impact on our connection and her ability to be present with me and I did find it disrespectful when she was on it around me because I would drive almost 2 hours to see her. I’m glad I got out of that “relationship”.
@n4nanathaniel
@n4nanathaniel Жыл бұрын
This video is so good. Even just the first pointer put exactly what I was thinking about in my first relationship constantly into words. I chose to break up with the supposed "one" a few months ago - I just had a bad gut feeling about our relationship but I couldn't pinpoint it at the time. Now that I'm on some level of self-improvement and its been some time since I broke up, I now see where that gut feeling came from. She had some of these red flags, namely she doesn't believe/care in my work - she really didn't care at all about many things, and that she was addicted to social media. I couldn't see it at the time because I wanted to believe so bad she was the one, and that was me just hoping my first love would be the one immediately. At the very least, I didn't suffer much heartbreak because I was able to see her for her true self - a Jeffrey. Not an ounce of self-improvement - and that's now a dealbreaker for me. More power to her if she wants to live that way, it just means we're not compatible. I've learnt to have standards and dealbreakers for my relationships - maybe it's time I try again, this time with a higher respect for my wellbeing and standards. Thank you Hamza for this video.
@soap6381
@soap6381 Жыл бұрын
Stop searching for love. The right one will come on your path to success.
@krishkaushik2224
@krishkaushik2224 Жыл бұрын
Bro I dated this girl for 2 years, just broke up 3 months ago. I was madly in love with her but would get that same gut wrenching feeling and be repulsed by a hook up she had before me (I was a virgin at the time). I tried burying down the feeling but never really fully got over it. In the end she broke up with me saying 'I would sl*t shame her' and judge her character. I felt so bad about feeling this type of way because even my own friends and people I knew would criticise me for feeling like this. Thanks for broadening my perspective.
@kishlayjha5434
@kishlayjha5434 Жыл бұрын
I feel you Had something similar, had just started dating a girl, hadn't even slept with her and we've been together for a week. Later I came to know that she hooked up with a dude and I couldn't look at her the same. Also made me feel that "why do I have to put so much effort to sleep with her and she has hooked up with some random dude ?"
@FADERVA
@FADERVA Жыл бұрын
I'm also in a 2-year relationship with a girl that had a hookup too. I had real struggles to make peace with it. Sometimes still the thought of it comes up but it goes by fast. It still hurts though and sometimes I'm wondering when will it stop playing in my head. I seriously considered ending the relationship because of it.
@krishkaushik2224
@krishkaushik2224 Жыл бұрын
@@FADERVA I did too, but trust me it does get better over time. You have to think about it and see if its a sacrifice worth making or if its better to just end things.
@krishkaushik2224
@krishkaushik2224 Жыл бұрын
@@kishlayjha5434 exactly man the fact that she gave herself so easily to a stranger is what hurt
@silverfnatic2067
@silverfnatic2067 Жыл бұрын
I hate tiktok It ruins a person's mind and even the will power of watching of a full KZbin video
@MotivatedInfinity
@MotivatedInfinity 10 ай бұрын
as the oldest of 4 siblings, Hamza is like a big brother to give me a bit of coaching advice, since I am the first to do things. Thank you.
@macbatterson1917
@macbatterson1917 Жыл бұрын
The promiscuous friends is one of the best signs as it is commonly known as the people you surround yourself with reflect onto who you are.
@mateivoican
@mateivoican Жыл бұрын
Journaling will also help with seeing these red flags. It's very easy to not see any red flag even if she has 5 but is really pretty. It all comes to staying on the path. The goal is to find a girl that you can make part of your life. For that you need a good one.
@petersillius7193
@petersillius7193 Жыл бұрын
Noble Steed
@attamotan3315
@attamotan3315 Жыл бұрын
The modesty in women died when the protective jealousy in men died. Women will call you insecure if you get upset they have a high body count, but its in our innate nature.
@Gghhhjhhjhhhhuuj1345
@Gghhhjhhjhhhhuuj1345 Жыл бұрын
It’s cool that none of us have finished the video yet
@HMNCLunar
@HMNCLunar Жыл бұрын
Some of us just finish a lot sooner
@remaain
@remaain Жыл бұрын
@@HMNCLunar some of us never start
@theatlasguardian3285
@theatlasguardian3285 Жыл бұрын
The girl I have been seeing recently is interesting. She is barely if ever on social media. She and I love going to the gym and work on school work together at our college library. She doesn’t do hookups, but hasn’t really been sleeping with men if at all. She cares deeply about me and I help her where she needs it.
@yeahhighlights5551
@yeahhighlights5551 Жыл бұрын
Love you and how honest you are
@yanivandesompele3413
@yanivandesompele3413 Жыл бұрын
My first girl who I was dating and really loved got to a party with me and our friendgroup. She told me in the middle of the party that she kissed or got kissed by a guy. That night and the day after. I was heartbroken and feeling betrayed and disappointed. The next day I stopped texting her. She was a fun and beautiful girl and I still get a little bit sad when I think about her. I really didn’t expected that from her and I sometimes miss her. But I move on and improve myself more and hope that she will text me first and will care that I don’t text her anymore.
@mikel2976
@mikel2976 Жыл бұрын
Don't be so harsh, people can change, just tell her you are not supportive if that next time.
@yanivandesompele3413
@yanivandesompele3413 Жыл бұрын
@@mikel2976 Because that she betrayed me. I can not look at her the same. I just imagine her kissing a guy when I think about our fun memories. I cannot trust her anymore 😢
@justfallfoward6367
@justfallfoward6367 Жыл бұрын
She ain't worth it my friend. You'll find a better woman!
@annehedonia156
@annehedonia156 Жыл бұрын
IF she got kissed by a guy, is that her fault? Did she make out with him or did he just move in fast and kiss her?Because there's a huge difference. That just happened to ME by a longtime MARRIED guy friend at a (drunken) lake party with friends. He just did it and then we walked away, with him 'understanding' that I was not down for it.
@yanivandesompele3413
@yanivandesompele3413 Жыл бұрын
@@annehedonia156 I don't know I was going to the toilet the moment that happend. She just told me that she was drinking Hasta Banana or something like that. Then that guy from her school said 'that there where finally beautiful girls at the party' and mouthed her. I forgave her the next day but then stopped texting with her and till this day (2 days long) she has not yet text me first.
@dnyaneshwarirajput1881
@dnyaneshwarirajput1881 Жыл бұрын
I think it depends upon your own self awareness to restrain yourself from external influences. There's a saying my mom tells me that '' A lotus blooms in the mud '', my mom interprets it as - even though there is mud all around it, it still blooms without getting any of it on itself. We cannot really escape from the culture of normalization of all of the things you've mentioned, but we can be selective of what it is that is in tune with our values.
@temposetter1091
@temposetter1091 Жыл бұрын
ur values is probably high body count, white men, money, looks, and status
@drumiasebastian2059
@drumiasebastian2059 Жыл бұрын
Oh my god, that is one of the most beutiful sayings I have ever heard. It is a fancier way of saying bad is bad even if everybody is doing it, i think :). I will be using it, thanks, Im sure your mother is amazing.
@tipwiremusic5464
@tipwiremusic5464 Жыл бұрын
my brotheeerrr what the actual fuck was this xD
@gunnyslarty
@gunnyslarty Жыл бұрын
Ey yo brother man, I support you and whatever you do, and your videos have massively helped me as well. Just disagreeing a bit with hair color, piercings, and sexual history being red flags because...people change. Drinking and doing drugs, perhaps okay could be red flags, but doing them in moderation and them still being a high performing person couldn't be that much of a red flag, no? I'm just thinking that as a man, you could definitely inquire and have opinions about their life's choices but once they show that they could change for the better (to better themselves, not just for you or for the relationship) then you could give the relationship a chance and you could definitely vibe together in order to be a power couple. Maybe they just need the right person to lead them the way, or do those 'vices' with them temporarily and then improve together. You have to be careful because in another video (Signs that a woman like you) you were openly flaunting hooking up with women, but then castigate women for doing the same thing. After all we're just human beings tryna find someone who's really vibing with us. More power.
@StrategicSelfMastery
@StrategicSelfMastery Жыл бұрын
You are the King. Thank you hamza
@notishow737
@notishow737 Жыл бұрын
Don't worry if it's controversial Hamza, Jordan Peterson once said: "In order to think we have to risk offending people"
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