One Key Insight That Can Help Clients Undo Years of Blame and Shame

As practitioners, we’re well-acquainted with the fight, flight, freeze response - that automatic response that evolved to protect us from external threats or danger.
But what happens when the threat is internal? When the threat is painful emotions or distress?
Our response can still be automatic, and for many clients it can often be to fight.
But when ‘fight’ is how a client handles difficult emotions, the fight moves to within them. It can get expressed as self-criticism and self-blame - and that can lead to shame.
No longer are they only feeling bad, but they believe they are bad, and something’s wrong with them.
As a practitioner, you know how shame can trap clients in unending pain and suffering.
So what if you could give them a quick and simple practice to start them down the path to healing?
Here Paul Gilbert, PhD shares the practice he uses to help clients understand how the mind works, and how that understanding can be transformative.

[@CocoShade]

Brilliant!!!!

[@nancywysemen7196]

good!

[@sm7657]

Self-blame and Shame = what I struggle with ; but most therapists GASLIGHT and blame me for blaming others and the reality is that others do cause us problems, destruction , bad decisions , coercive control , etc….

[@bkirstie]

do you tell her this? it’s most important to look at yourself in this.

[@trinesrensen560]

Sometimes there are things we can do, like taking babysteps to get away from the situation even if that means leaving a lot of wanted things behind too. And learning to work with what we've been dealt rather than blame ourselves for what others have done, because a lot of people will give themselves more responsibility for events than they deserve (and because others say it is so!).

[@louisemcdougall9389]

I know I am just a result of my socialisation but other ppl don't know this. They think I'm a failure and I have no excuse.

[@RoseannPascaleMSLMFT]

Great insight and so useful. However, the tattoo judgment is unfortunate stereotype. Naturally, not all people with tattoos are drug barons.

[@lenaccarlsson]

Crying while waatching this. What a HUGE relief. To be able to quit the shame and instead embrace why things have become as they are.

[@lunkerjunkie]

I'm not a therapist but your channel helps me too

[@helenwarren5217]

I was so afraid of my emotions, So enlightening.

[@wendyganderson1297]

Wonderful perspective. Brilliant and hopeful.

[@RosyFdz]

It’s hard to change the way your nervous system experiences the world when the first time you learned it was abusive

[@franceslock1662]

“Not allowing your mind to govern your actions and hold you hostage,” sounds so simple, logical and doable as a spectator. You can’t assume you know or understand your client’s lived experience. Your client experiences the world differently.

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

Talking helps everyone understand.

[@bkirstie]

completely agree. but i’m at the point in my healing that i’m able to do things that help me feel better. i still have severe anxiety, little joy and often feel hopeless, but a GOOD doctor can help.

[@tammyjboudreaux2836]

brilliant. Thank you.

[@dawnbryant8778]

Best thing I've heard on therapy. So refreshing thanks I'll use this with my clients.

[@conservativeneurologyb4999]

Thanks for posting. Health days are always better than sick days. Dr. P. EDWARDS CONRAD.

[@kimlec3592]

Thank you for this information.

[@marjoleinclaeys6961]

Love it 🙏

[@Dial8Transmition]

I am and adult who have autism and PTSD and I have always found it almost impossible to change my brain in this way

[@alexanderessen8879]

thank you, I agree freedom is responsibility

[@abbykoop5363]

Thank you!

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

It is a concept necessary for all clinical purposes to learn so many people will get to understand eventually what happened and how they behaved is able to be put in the right context and help themselves learn to except and heal themselves from these seemingly forever memories.

[@juddotto3660]

Mind blowing

[@erikamarcouxma9134]

It's so important to make the distinction between content and consciousness! Although, I do believe that there is a true Self and it's consciousnesses. Being conscious and self-aware is the way to take responsibility.

[@lunkerjunkie]

if there isn't a true self why am I fighting so hard to express authenticity

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

Controlling actions is one of the hardest things to do.

[@farahalr123]

And this was my AHA moment!

[@Bichonfrise369]

😂 you would be Pablo Escobar 😂🎉

[@aliciaramos9531]

I like this

[@amy5133]

BOOM 💥

[@ivanvincent7534]

We can’t know for sure about the lack of choice. It’s possible we did choose this content or this experience. Shame does seem to rely on the volition in order to bite. However volition and shame seem not to coexist. It is only with awareness that the communication received through the mind can be ignored.

[@lioness7522]

Where does the potential to retire the brain e.g. via neurofeedback fit in to this?

[@wewrestlenot]

v interesting 🤗