Activating the Social Engagement System to Cope with Fear

As you know, the body can have three very dramatic responses to fear: it can fight, flee, or freeze.
So how can you work with a client whose fear is so pervasive that their body is in a near constant state of defense or shutdown?
According to Dr. Stephen Porges, it comes down to asking this question. "What is incompatible with fear?"
How have you worked with a client who struggled with fear?
Please share your comment below.

[@janapalcek9153]

I had social fears and I learned to override them, however, sometimes I would feel that my prefrontal lobes freeze in certain situations. After I listened to this video I practiced visualizing being in a group of people, feeling sensations in my body, slowly moving my head on sides to soften the freeze, touching my forehead, and repeated reassuring words. This certainly helped me to embody more ease.

[@rsng2171]

I have xtreme social anxiety. Was molested. Never grew up. Had a traumatic response to someone calling me gay. Took 5 years to face it in rehab. Still don't know what I am. Learning thru Peter Levine, Emma McAdams, yourself and slowly coming out of trauma.

[@SEASCAT]

I spent my entire childhood and pretty much of my adult like- hiding. Immobile- just trying to not be noticed and hoping I'd be forgotten by my NMother and certain others in later years. I don't think I made any real progress until my NMother died, and more since my sister died. I never thought I'd like this long. I am 70, totally alone in the world and finally have the best therapist I've ever had through ny Medicare plan which allows me to use MDlive for free.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

❤❤❤❤ so happy you found the way to heal.

[@sj2024sj]

Love this channel, thank you ❤❤❤❤

[@borealiswan2363]

You're forgetting a 4th response called "fawning", when someone in a traumatic situation tries to negotiate a way out, or minimize damage by finding out what would appease the abuser(s), faking it until they can leave.

[@schuftiandmunchkin]

Yes, you are right. The latest theory is that there are four 'F' responses and that explains how/why some people do not exhibit any of the usual three 'Fs' and yet experience intense, debilitating symptoms resulting from fear. Thank you for reminding us.

[@fridapaz1]

Thank you - this was very helpful. I’m curious as to what happened to “tend and befriend” as a part of the nervous system, based on the research of Shelley Taylor and her team at UCLA. Presumably, tend and befriend is activating the social engagement system yet I’ve yet to hear/see a discussion of it in the polyvagal literature.

[@Pikermanertjie]

@Christopher D Absolutely right. The 3 F's happen before cognition. It is instinct. Fawning is the cognitive response to the 3 F's.

[@MissTXTee]

I have a trauma client that has expressed signs of social anxiety, particularly in the grocery store or in places where it is packed with people. I think the doing some exercises with cues of safety and social interaction might be a good step to help her! If we can identity experiences where we can build these positive cues, we can then help build these cues in situations, which are more threatening for her.

[@matthewmiller3745]

Does the same go for people who trauma originating in socialization?

[@jfdc8432]

Not sure what to do with clients who are locked in the shut-down freeze state and are fearful of other people, and dissociate when other people are present.

[@IngeSengelmann]

Patience, patience, patience. Our calm, supportive presence will slowly begin to engage their sense of safety in the presence of a non-judgmental other. I've also found that these people resource through interaction with animals and/or nature/plants. Support that. It's still social engagement system, just bringing more awareness of what they're already doing to soothe will increase neural downregulation of overactive dorsal vagal.

[@anamatar]

I have found the resources provided by Deb Dana in her book “The polyvagal theory in therapy” to be really useful when it comes to working towards bringing awareness on where the client currently is: safe, mobilized or immobilized. The maps she has come up with are simple and powerful tools in my practice! :)

[@peters8080]

@@IngeSengelmann Yes, Dana, said you do not knock on the shell of a turtle that has retreated within. You provide cues of safety and wait.