“HEALTHY COMMUNICATION IS UNCOMFORTABLE” (EP. 73)

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EP. 73) “HEALTHY COMMUNICATION IS UNCOMFORTABLE”
We dove deep in this episode about developing healthy and effective communication with your partner!
A question we have for you is, have you had the discussion on how to communicate and what works best for you and your partner?
In this episode we talked about our personal development with communication. We’ve learned how important listening is in respecting your partner during the communication process. Most situations turn negative from misunderstandings and misinterpreted information. Remember, you’re learning to merge two worlds within every conversation. Important to know it’s not you against me, or me against you but it’s US against the problem. You have a way that you do things and your partner has a way that they do things but adopting the mentality of “this is how we do things” is what can ultimately help you bridge the gap within communication!
Note:
Poor communication habits:
Interrupt
Act in passive aggressive ways
Hold grudges
Tip-toe around each other
Guess or assume their partner’s feelings
Sweep problems under the rug rather than hash them out
Argue repeatedly over the same subject
Call their partner names
Make threats
Raise their voice
Good communication habits:
Pay attention and listen while their partner speaks
Listen to understand, rather than listen to respond
Validate their partner’s thoughts and feelings (often by acknowledging and repeating back some of what was said)
Ask questions
Understand, even when their partner has different perspectives and opinions
Don’t raise their voice
Let us know what you think about this episode and make sure to share with your friends and family!!!
🥃🥃🥃
🚨Check out the full episode on KZbin and all streaming platforms {NICEANDNEATTHEPODCAST}🚨
🥃🥃🥃 Drop that if you’re tapped in
@duke @omar.bolden @just.Jalon
Intro song: @xaroc__ - Pledge of Allegiance

[@heyerikan]

"when you don't communicate, the devil narrates" - Jalon

[@veronicaatkins4417]

I like that statement it’s so true

[@justdevy02]

Snaps in poetry fingers

[@keishafam02]

Heavy, right?

[@heyerikan]

@@keishafam02 too good.

[@MylezNevison]

@@heyerikan Great quote but I would word it "the Ego Narrates" not "the Devil"... saying "the devil narrates" externalises and takes responsibility away from us (the one's thinking up those narratives based on OUR ego's insecurities/weakness).

[@DivineSoulAngel]

To witness these Black men have this level of conversation is sooo healing and soo nourishing to my soul. I appreciate this conversation and I´m convinced healthy relationships can and will exist among Black women and men. I envision this level of emotional & spiritual intimacy for myself and my future partner. Amen, Ase & so it is.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Love!!! 🥃🥃🥃

[@carinasmithen8177]

I agree ❤this was really lovely to listen to my black brothers 😊

[@daydreamer8007]

Yesssssssss!!!! Everything you said!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@tianna2544]

I Agree💕

[@DoItAgainA]

This podcast is so powerful because y’all are actively modeling better behaviors

[@iammarlishia5233]

Agree 💯

[@shernz6188]

💯💯💯

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

🥃🥃🥃

[@anggell34]

I'd love to actually be a part of the conversation to pick their brains

[@Nitra813]

That mind connection he spoke about is called INTIMACY ❤ I tell my husband the same thing after a deep healthy conversation. It’s very stimulating. I feel connected to him on a mind level, not just physical.

[@autumhernandez2045]

The part of knowing y’all planning for a lifetime of figuring it out and not having to know it all right then and there but bringing awareness to it. That part 👌🏽

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

It’s a marathon 🏁🏁🏁

[@Juiceman390]

I’m 24 and I’m getting married next month, I’ve never really had positive males in my life to each me how to be a healthy man for my wife but I just wanted to thank the fuck out of y’all for helping me be a better man for the woman I love

[@Jess2b_fit]

Also I hear what you’re saying as far as creating a safe space for your partner to be vulnerable. But it’s also crucial to understand that sometimes.. no matter how safe the space you create, that person has trauma from their past that physically won’t allow them to open up and that requires work far beyond your scope as a partner. Jalon has clearly come to a place in his life where he has done the work to be able to correlate his present day feelings with childhood impact. The responsibility is on the individual to heal.

[@la3380]

I am starting a new relationship with a true man and we had a misunderstanding but were able to be vulnerable and talk and resolve things 🥲 I’m learning to listen as a women without being defensive. That comes from my parents too accusing me of being a bad child all the time but I was able to be aware of it and he was able to lead and today I feel amazing and boom this video comes out. So glad to be with a real man, I feel he is it ❤❤

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

It’s important that you know where the root of your defensiveness comes from. Give yourself some credit for that! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@nataliecastro8563]

10 mins in & I have to rewatch the episode, to absorb all the information you guys put out there! The execution in this episode is unique & depth of real life scenarios. 20/10!!

[@DHenny]

I’ve never seen men be so vulnerable honest and smart . That’s sad at my big age I’ve been surrounded by clowns thinking it’s normal . Maybe I should move to another state

[@christylexo4763]

When Omar started talking about the conversation between him and his girl while they were out to dinner and she equated the conversation to sex is the level of intimacy that I desire in my relationship!!! I love this podcast and the influence that you men are putting out especially for the men out here that have difficulty being vulnerable. I think that especially men they equate feeling and vulnerability to being soft and feminine which is not the case. Great job gentlemen with this one !!

[@GonzalezAGeorge]

Cool song who is the artist and what’s it called?

[@TheAmhyacinth]

If it’s one thing Jalon gunna do is drop a Gem! When you don’t communicate, the devil narrates 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@nobe41548]

Wow... that's the EXACT THING MY WIFE TELLS ME ALL THE TIME!!! Hearing it come from somewhere else really made me realize how much truth is in it. Thank you for opening my eyes❤🙏

[@kettyirakoze4635]

Where do men like these be at??👀 coz damn y’all are just going straight to the point!!!

[@kdlewis7355]

I really appreciate the vulnerability and openness that you Kings demonstrate. A great example for other Black Males to see, keep up the good work.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

We will! 😤

[@jayg619]

Very similar to the book The Five Love Languages there is one called The Five Apology Languages. It’s a good read to further build that communication bond with your partner.

[@AikiraBeats]

Learning how to apologize is one of my biggest struggles. This is a conversation that needs a part two.

[@tierrasardine562]

The most difficult thing about communicating has to be understanding each others strengths when communicating. For example, I like most women can communicate to we blue in the face …I mean we will start spelling out words, synonyms,antonyms,etc.While I have came into contact in relationships that after “he” can’t explain any deeper it’s like …”just never mind , it’s cool” . 😂 so half of my marriage is me over communicating and him like “😳 ooo well what should I do so we not back in this space” ❤

[@CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt]

Inability to be receptive or change is already a losing battle

[@marybutidk]

I’m not a Scorpio but I’m with Jalon on getting to the bottom of things. I LOVE to ask why and ask questions to get a better understanding of my partner and other people I care about. When he broke down the clam thing!!! Man!! I was THERE WITH YOU!!! Like! Yes!! I love to communicate and j love to get deep with my person, that helps me love them better, to feed into them differently, alladat good shit. I really enjoy listening to y’all ♥️

[@tundeoshikoya131]

Mannnnnn. Y’all were in your bag this episode! So many gems. Heartfelt thank you for this one.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

🥃🥃🥃

[@valentinewairimu3351]

The spiritual and emotional maturity here is real. Love from GA❤

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Love to GA! 🥃🥃🥃

[@vontressacounts6153]

I LOOOVE this podcast! So good to see healthy communication modeled! Another thing to be careful of is facial expressions...that can definitely shut a person down when communicating!

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

This is true! 🥃🥃🥃

[@instrinsiclove]

This conversation really makes me do some internal reflection as to how emotional availability properly displays for a woman. I definitely battle with attracting emotional available men, and I recognize that it’s based upon my internal struggles with vulnerability. I really wonder what that SHOULD look like, especially in consideration of healthy communication. Anyway, great episode Kings! Adore y’all 🥰🥃

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Great take away! 🥃🥃🥃

[@heyerikan]

You got this girlie!

[@MylezNevison]

Lack of self awareness, maturity and the Ego's need to be right are what cause communication break downs... Some aren't self aware enough to know or understand the feelings they are experiencing so their Ego ends up taking over in a knee jerk reaction of self protection; thus the fight begins. Effective communication starts INTERNALLY within one's self; unfortunately most fail the assignment internally and that internal failure is then mirrored externally with others inbthe form of an argument... Relationships are merely mirrors of the relationship one has internally with themselves. Miscommunication is a #SYMPTOM of an internal breakdown; problem is we focus on external ego fights as opposed to the internal #ROOT issue. "Understanding others is Wisdom but understanding the self is Enlightenment." It all comes back to the self.

[@AngelaElikya]

Jalon always delivers I appreciate him so much❤

[@Jess2b_fit]

The first test of in/compatibility will show in a couple’s communication skills (or lack of) .. it goes beyond communication - big or small. You must listen to understand, not to simply respond. Are you able to put your ego to the side and comprehend what the other person needs to convey? Good, bad or both? Communication = Comprehension + execution

[@KeyshasCorner]

This was an amazing conversation I never leave a comment but I had to give you your props today not to say that your other episodes aren't fire as well but this is really amazing it was very needed and I just love how you guys did and articulate the things that sometimes we don't know how to say but we know we're feeling it thank you so much and keep up the good work and you gentlemen are really helping a lot of individuals and couples that are really active and wanting to better themselves in every area of their lives.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

That is our mission! Bridging the gap between men and women through healthy conversations like this one. 🥃🥃🥃

[@dashseck7595]

I had a MENTAL ORGASM watching these MEN sharpen each other's swords !!! I know men TWICE their age that could NEVER engage in such conversations. Shout out to them, their parents , their women, and whomever else is responsible for this level of maturity and delicious intellect!!! I'm definitely a fan now ! Keep up the great content !!! I keep telling my friends, there are some still left LOL😂

[@reginaiyahhodge1704]

that emotional drawer analogy!!!

[@LofiforLife]

Love this !!! I hope it is a life saver in my soon to be marriage . 😩 Pray for me y’all! I am taking notes 📝 and will apply these ASAP. Love this !!!

[@ajprescod09]

Idk where I been on this podcast but I found it today & im 4 episodes in ❤ it’s so breath taking to hear young men be so open honest vulnerable about real life issues

[@Chasing_Destiny]

This is my first time watching you guys and I am blown away. This is so great, to see black men use their voice and hear you guys talk about your relationship, I will be listening to more episodes!

[@CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt]

Trust and respect 💯 for the partner is the only way to successfully ensure the relationship because without the protection of boundaries from and to your partner are responsibilities of us and the way we either make or break bonds with others

[@kwanelechili2639]

My favourite episode hands down.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Please share! 🥃🥃🥃

[@heyerikan]

Mine toooo

[@tracysimon7972]

It is soo refreshing to see black men being open and vulnerable in these kinds of spaces. The walls being torn down and men are willing to have these conversations that are IMPERATIVE for relationships to thrive. You have a new subscriber

[@patientv]

Everyone thinks they can communicate BUT speaking isnt communicating... The ability to explain your perspective AND hear & digest someone elses is difficult. Ego can take over if you arent willing to speak first... Anger can affect tone... Insecurities can creep in & prevent you from sharing yourself or cause you to accept BS. You really need to set up guidelines ahead of time, so both partners know how to communicate... AND do internal work to say, I'm willing to be the person to put ego, anger & fear aside for the sake of the both of us.... and you want a partner whose willing to do that as well

[@CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt]

I believe accountability and transparency in addition to active listening 🎧... In support of the ego has ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE IN THE CONVERSATION 🎉

[@watchmelinerose]

Whew, this was a really GOOD one! I love how each of you take the time out to reflect and add your personal experiences to the topic. I also love how Omar talks about him vs. the the ego because the ego is truly what hinders us from operating out of love. The ego wants us to believe everything is an attack, but with those constant self check-ins and reflections, we get better at being in control of our reactions and allow ourselves to be more vulnerable. It's also us vs. our ego.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

🥃🥃🥃

[@CourtneyWilkerson-qp9zt]

Environmental influence plays an imperative role in the disconnect of relationships... so I feel that checking in and reassuring the key elements for the foundation are very important to ensure that their is no room for misunderstanding or assumptions to manifest the destruction of communication

[@saipher9704]

Jalon gone drop a word in there every time 😂

[@chiefafam]

Man certain people have a defense mechanism to not even want to comprehend. No matter how well you explain something…

[@francisw3456]

"Action items" love this! We both need to work on this. Love these convos! Great job fellas 👑

[@vickynganga]

Y’all have been working hard on these intro lyrics ever since they ate y’all up in the comments about not knowing them 🤣🤣

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Facts 😂😂😂

[@sisi_ehsan]

I love how Omar gets hype about the intro. It really is 🔥 I have this song on my Apple Music because of this podcast. I say by the end of summer Omar will have the lyrics down and be rapping it like it’s his song 😂. Oan: this episode is IT just like all the others. I feel like I’m watching my dope a** brothers at this point. Love it here and shoutout to the guys for being stand up men and constantly growing ❤

[@naturallyshaq3679]

The podcast does not get enough love. Yall are so dope❤

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Keep sharing and we’ll get there! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@kalidedan]

So so happy I found this podcast with intelligent black men . Continue making the world a better place

[@Somuchtotalkabout]

When someone you love tells you about yourself it is the most uncomfortable feeling ever. In some ways it feels embarrassing to that person especially if you strive to be the best person you can be. But in the long run it makes you better as a person and partner.

[@MarissaontheMAP]

Listened to this episode at the perfect time. Some things they said were literally things my therapist and I talked about TUH-DAY! lol I had a recent breakthrough when talking to a good friend and in therapy where I realized that I'm avoidant when it comes to conflict. But I'm working on it 🙌🏽 Until about a year ago I would completely avoiding conflict/tough conversations. Over this past year I would avoid things in the heat of the moment and tell myself "I just need time to get my emotions regulated and my thoughts together", and sometimes it led to complete avoidance, other times it led to initiating the hard conversation. I'm looking forward to getting better at this and handling conflict when it happens, versus the opposite. Emotional regulation is KEY! I also realized (because of a post I saw) that it's hard for me to communicate my needs/my thoughts/my emotions because of past traumas where I was gaslit, betrayed, not taken seriously, or flat out ignored. I would always turn inward and think that I was the problem, and sometimes I was, but other times it was the other person and I just couldn't see it or didn't want to place blame on them because I'm used to people not taking accountability. I was overly self-accountable 🤦🏽‍♀ lol We getting better though!! Lowkey new to this podcast but I love everything I've heard so far. Yall hear it all the time i'm sure, but this is needed! And its so refreshing to see Black men having these convos and doing the work 🫶🏽

[@gegebuysflorida]

This was so good!! Needed this!!

[@Tcaramel25]

Love you guys!!!! This was awesome!!!!! Much respect ❤

[@So_IndiVisual]

This was a GREAT video!!! So needed!

[@leah3795]

So good ❤

[@karma5340]

After all these years I Now know that I've been emotionally neglected. My mental needs, my emotional needs, my Own financial needs and obligations prior to our relationship has been All under his discretion. I Love him now, but I've been trapped by lust the first 3 years and after his and my mother's affair, with no more intense relations between us I've had to look hard to find something to live him for and keep from throwing away the relationship. EVEN THOUGH HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME , ID RATHER NOT HEAR IT BECAUSE HE MEANS HE LOVES THE FACT THAT IM a weak woman who is Needy and blind. He steps out all the time and it's frustrating and painful. If I could Only communicate better maybe he and can get passed the daily silence orr bitterness . I've caught him several times watching me with a emense look of disgust. How can I tell him I love and appreciate him but I want him to help me fall out of obsession and into understanding??

[@tameraaa2104]

This was powerful ! 🙌🏾👏🏾

[@destaniwashington2216]

This is gooddddddd 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@Justritamich]

The message was received!! thank you for this!!

[@SharmonJarmon]

love you guys podcast

[@raquel8298]

Appreciate the sophisticated conversation 👌🏾

[@abbyacosta-febus]

Love it❤!!

[@WynesiaShaniece]

As someone whose trying to work on being better at communicating this was very informative for me. I’m saving this to my archives to listen to again. @ Jalon are you a Scorpio? lol bc you sound like me I always ask questions to get deeper. Why is my favorite question. 😂

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Scorpio gang ♏️♏️♏️

[@bighomiekirby4071]

lmaoo sameeee😭😭

[@Iamsaraii]

Y’all are just SPOT on. I truly love this podcast.

[@mindfullnessmindset8746]

One of the best podcast episodes on relationships I’ve ever listened to!!!! Its so refreshing to hear that others struggle in their relationship but also that there are others who have the tools to properly navigate it in a healthy way.

[@LadyLuxstar]

Loved this Episode

[@Angee82111]

Duke always gets it! 👏🏽

[@johnsondurosier9963]

This podcast had nothing but gems. Thank y’all for sharing 🙏🏾

[@LaKae444]

I luv that you guys provided practical and easily implementable tips. More of that please 🖤

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

🥃🥃🥃

[@Claudia-yc8xk]

I absolutely loved this podcast so much, so refreshing.

[@antwoniqueknowles7899]

This was dope!!! Gratitude to you all! 🥰

[@pskaylz]

Really enjoyed this convo! Tbh, this is the first time I have heard a male led podcast touch basis on such an essential topic and with such maturity. Definitely gives me hope as a woman to know this this caliber of guys exist in this generation. You guys are dope! Definitely about to subscribe!

[@dariusturner5291]

🔥🔥🔥

[@SunflowerWheeler]

Powerful

[@Haommo]

"who am I to be saying this." -Jalon

[@charliahstarks1071]

This is the only podcast that I have to devote my full attention to without having it played in the background while I’m cooking, cleaning, or running errands. After going out and dealing with the world and all the pressures that come with life, it’s always refreshing to come and be a fly on the wall and intake positive content. I get it, we get it 🍷🧊

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

The positivity!!! 🥃🥃🥃

[@ms.angiesworld8696]

GREAT episode 🥃 🥃🥃

[@venomx77]

I'm going through it with my lady and this video popped up. y'all are saying good stuff. I appreciate it. I feel like it gets so hard when you feel like the other needs to improve and they feel like you need to improve... But I am the man. I need to be able to take the emotional, ego, and "being wrong" hits. Show that I can take all that and listen to truly understand. And hope that she sees me being vulnerable and follows suit eventually.

[@burd9028]

Thank you fellas!!! Y’all definitely dropped some gems and provided some tools so that I could improve my communication skills

[@cicihenry2471]

this was great. alot of gems and very healthy. yess black men!

[@kimeshmcgregor3185]

Really learnt from this podcast!🥺❤️

[@4438385360]

Powerful podcast thanks fellas I took notes

[@jeremywilliams3931]

Crazy episode!!! I learned a lot about myself this episode 💯 keep em coming

[@lookandfeelgorgeous]

So good!!

[@nikkis.9051]

Very good conversation!! ❤

[@sheenashepherd71]

Thank you this is awesome feedback

[@Kiaajordan]

🔥 got me binge watching this podcast.

[@MsNikki-kd6tv]

Absolutely love this level of communication and transparency. 👏🏽👏🏽

[@TheNaynay91]

Awesome 👏🏽

[@gbaby5o]

Loved loved LOVED this podcast. I took a lot away from this and will be applying to my personal life . Thank you guys for your transparency!

[@IamNicoleJ]

This podcast was really truly enlightening and informative. Thank you for allowing us into your perspectives!

[@User08882]

I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear this conversation. Thank you guys🙏🏽. Learning and unlearning.

[@ashleecox9806]

Its inspiring to see y'all evolve in real time. I appreciate the vulnerability and accountability. Keep going! ✨

[@dandreadeshong5534]

This podcast was a point of healing for me. I love the way you guys articulate your feelings. Keep shining! ❤

[@spiritjourneys7707]

My brothas, you make me so proud to hear how specifically emotionally intelligent your conversations are. How mature and brave!! Thank you!!

[@Charlenespov]

This podcast is so therapeutic for people like me who struggle with self expression. Thank you for the enlightenment!

[@nicholasmcdowell2026]

Phenomenal and Powerful conversation

[@sukishakahey2906]

Great conversation!!

[@TDaBody]

I don’t think a particular gender is more mature than one another. I believe it’s based on the person maturity level and emotional intelligence. Some time women get overly emotional and start yelling and can’t have a simple conversation and I’ve also witnessed men be overly aggressive when a conversation is getting too heated. So it’s all based on the person emotional intelligence.

[@musuyengbeh755]

Honestly this was insightful on many levels but for me as a parent.

[@youroffisonpodcast]

This is good!

[@florapeters1715]

I needed this so much.

[@NiceAndNeatThePodcast]

Hope you share with a friend or family meme her that needs it! 🥃🥃🥃

[@kaiakamau9032]

Oh my, this episode makes me look in the mirror and b better. Be better for us, me and my man. I absolutely love this topic and ur conversation. Thank you big time boys!