The SECRETS To A Healthy RELATIONSHIP EXPLAINED | Dr. Nicole LePera & Lewis Howes

[@lewishowes]

What's The #1 Thing You Pulled From The Interview?

[@prettyfeisty4420]

#1 There is a practical formula for reprogramming ourselves that starts with grace and kindness towards ourselves as beautiful, powerful, flawed human beings. #2 Does she have a book I can buy? #3 Lewis is a skilled and engaging interviewer. I want more. I subscribed. #4 I can't count. :)

[@soulwisdom82]

The core wound of childhood: not being seen or heard. Being seen, heard and valued as “I matter” is at the very basic core need, want of a child. Her work is profound and the most healing process you can ever put into practice. This is the best interview and most informative presentation I’ve seen with healing childhood trauma. I’ve been doing this work for years and still do, it is life changing! Thank you for sharing Dr. Nicole ♥️

[@kimberlieweaver2624]

I'm breaking the rules and commenting before finishing the interview😆 but Dr. Nicole has been a huge source of support and a driver for some changes I decided to make in my life at the end of 2019-the evolution of consciousness is constant and a worthy pursuit if you want to be engaged in life and experience abundance in the present moment...thank you for having her Lewis!

[@DQINBETWEEN]

My biggest take away: The best way to help co-regulate someone (a child/a partner) whos in the midst of reactivity --- to ask. Ask how they are feeling, what's going on with them, why they are feeling this way, etc. Always have the mindset of inquiry, ESPECIALLY at things that you think you are very familiar with! Because everyone experience reality in different ways. :) Love that! Question though --- What if the person we are asking about has difficulty verbalizing their feelings or experience? How can we help understand someone who struggle with explaining how they feel?

[@noral8788]

Acknowledge negative thoughts but do not accept them. thank you

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Lewis (and team) thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciated this conversation and thank everyone who took the time to watch.

[@bethphillips7231]

I have just discovered Dr. LePera, yesterday on @MelThomas’ weekly daily show. Sign up for it here! Curious, I disagree with her connecting with her family, as a Christian, and how I believe scripture and my recovery literature makes it clear that JC/HS who show’s up as my HP. @melthomas, #bestdecadever, which has been a real lifesaver and valuable tool in not only surviving but thriving in this chaotic time period of #socialdistancing #hackberrycreek @hackberrycreek @hishive #Hishive #missmytribe #missmyhugs! #mynumbersaredown #missmyLC4SSAGYposse’ #lc4ss #4ss #healthisyourwealth #powertoliftmeup #harrisonantigravityhammock #usethereal @bettertogether .

[@lewishowes]

You are amazing!

[@emeryfamily6898]

You were amazing and right on as usual...really loved your live with Mel Robbins also! helped me a lot---paying attention more to my conscious mind and responses-very important right now

[@TheArtOfLight999]

The Holistic Psychologist Do you work with Twin Flames?

[@anitaquinn3068]

Is there a transcript to this session? Or a work sheet. I need to heal

[@vibrantwwaters]

She’s growing bc of authenticity!!!!

[@drea0795]

BINGO! 🎯

[@ziggypip2938]

My exact thoughts!!!

[@jcszot]

Dr. Nicole confirmed to me what I learned from reading a book by the late, great Louise Hay several years ago. As a middle child I often felt that I was not recognized for who I was but only from what I could achieve. I was very different than the other two kids. Many years later when I read Louises book “how to heal your life “she talks about what we feel may have been an injustice from our parents. Our parents or whoever the personal focus may be, can’t give us something they don’t have within them. Louise states in her book that if you feel an injustice was given to you as a child then start looking at your grandparents and asking questions about them. This blew it wide open for me. What she says about our feelings of resentment anger or frustration toward our parents eventually turns into empathy-she’s 100% correct and it confirms what I learned from other life teachers. I feel sorry for my parents now. Being in my 50s and still watching them stuck in the same pattern, living in a state of unconsciousness and not really liking themselves - I now look at them with empathy. When I feel myself getting off track having what “Abraham and Hicks” refers to as a wobble LOL I will look at my parents and say to myself .....”watch and learn and keep learning.” Because as much as I love them .....I don’t want to live my life the way they have been. Fantastic interview and I’d love to see more!

[@ladyofspa]

Love both Abe and Hicks , and RIP Louise Hay... she introduced so many greats on hay house radio to me.

[@priyankamudaliar6147]

And the part where Nicole mentions about healing the body, the gut, the nervous system, doing the breath work and inner child healing and repeating it for every single day of our life goes on to show that her approach is true to the concept of being holistic. I personally felt the pyramid was deep and very valuable. Helpful but hard to follow. Triggers arise unexpectedly, out of nowhere. Its hard but one should not give up on themself. That's what I try to tell myself everyday. Thank you 🙌

[@akgroverakgrover]

inner child healing an d repeating it for every single day of our lives

[@cierraariel]

I love the way he looks at people and is truly excited to listen to them & their perspective. That’s so refreshing.

[@LauraSchermerhorn]

Agreed! You can tell he is truly listening and not just waiting to respond.

[@lewishowes]

thanks so much, I care deeply about the people I bring on and especially with Nicole as she is helping heal so many people!

[@cierraariel]

@@lewishowes Love it! Great work. endless prayers to you and your family.

[@ajluvzlondon4214]

This woman's compassion is so touching....I love you Dr. Nicole....thank you for caring.

[@duysalekinci]

Isn't Lewis such a great listener and his facial gestures proves them all, he tries to understand if he does not he asks again. he is so genuine and very successful!! Love his programs and guests!! Bravo Lewis!

[@inspiringminds7284]

I'm a great listener :)

[@InnerVisionStudios]

Dr. LePera's work on emotional healing is gaining traction with people and helping so many of us. Thank you for having her back on the show.

[@trishmennell]

I appreciate that Lewis acknowledges the pain that a parent feels, not only the trauma that the child perceives.19:10. The trauma that the parents feel when a child accuses them of abuse. The first I've heard anyone acknowledge this.

[@MARIAM_M_AYOUB]

I sent the following (modified to my understanding) text message to myself: “I have a crazy capacity to understand people. And to understand why people do what they do - to the extend that I would invalidate my experience of them for so long. And then allow them to do what they want to do around me or to me my whole life. Not helpful. So, I had to evolve into that “and”. “I can understand (you) AND this doesn’t work for me”. That’s when you SET BOUNDARIES. You can be very forgiving and understanding. It doesn’t mean you have to be in an active relationship with (him, her, them)” - from Dr. Nicole LePera. That was SO POWERFUL BEYOND WORDS. I am like that and I struggle with setting boundaries. I’m always questioning myself “how can I be so understanding yet feel the urge to cut them out of my life?” I feel like I’m being judgmental or not accepting of them if I set boundaries, but far from it. This interview was so deep and liberating! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can’t thank you enough! 🙏🙏🙏

[@Delgado-ot4lq]

I can so relate to your experience. Its like I'm reading my own thoughts. Thank you for sharing this. Im not alone🙏💜🙏

[@DQINBETWEEN]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I totally relate to these as well

[@MARIAM_M_AYOUB]

Delgado 7777 We are not alone! We are all so much alike! Thank you!

[@MARIAM_M_AYOUB]

Danqing Dai I’m glad to know that! Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏

[@RontschDaPontsch]

Me too! People tell me how understanding I am and I struggle setting boundaries when I am in a new relationship. Good to read that there are people knowing this about themselves, too, and working on it as well! Best of luck everyone!!!

[@silcornejo]

This was like going to therapy, hearing you both. I've been taking notes, reflecting, it took me three hours to watch the whole interview! This is very inspirational. And I love Nicole. I don't remember when I started following her but she had a very small community and I was so shocked thinking, "but this could help a lot of people!" And I'm so happy to see how she's now impacting almost two million people. I go to her profile once in a while and liked everything to make sure Insta algorithm doesn't mess it up and exclude her from my feed, because her messages are so powerful. Thank you Lewis for an amazing interview!

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Love his work...& more so...he take a notes...asks the person to repeat, reframe their words....he truly wishes to learn & grow...keep up the brilliant work

[@lewishowes]

Thanks! :)

[@rosietran7382]

I like that part when Lewis said he reacts with appreciation rather than giving in to the trigger. That was profound. He’s right though. It is so hard.

[@lewishowes]

VERRRRY Hard, but so worth it!

[@MsCandice247]

@@lewishowes 🎯‼️💞

[@vtboithatuno]

I needed this.

[@loribaird2072]

Thank you! Healthy Relationships take work, realizing our own faults and how we plan to evolve. There is such a need to get back to basics. It starts with ourselves for sure. I truly hope that during this time of isolation across the world that we all can look within ourselves for awakening of what needs to change. 🙏🏻💕

[@myriamcroteau7006]

Omg. I'm just halfway through this interview and I feel shaken to my core (I actually have tears in my eyes right now). I have been doing a LOT of work on myself already and I have grown so much because of that, but this shows me that I still have so much to do and learn to heal myself! Wow! I'm really gonna have to look out for Dr. LePera's book because this is so fascinating and instructive already, I want to know more! Wow!

[@inspiringminds7284]

Your words made me grow :)

[@Kaprice]

Hey did you ever check out her book?

[@myriamcroteau7006]

@@Kaprice Yes! I bought it and I'm halfway through it now! There are so many truth bombs in there, it's incredible!

[@Kaprice]

@@myriamcroteau7006 right !!! This book is changing my whole perspective

[@cm4644]

My body loves being stressed, it's what it knows -> and if a person is around me, when I'm in that unfamiliar peaceful place, I might agitate the situation. Just to get back to the 'Comfort Zone". Bullseye!!! It makes sense and she offers ways to understand & change the patterns. Understanding what to expect is more than half the battle for me.

[@JDfaith2024]

I can only speak for myself but how Dr Lepera represents and breaks down the info. She does an excellent job and pinpointing the underlying cause and how it develops/manifests throughout our lives. And how we can become aware, reverse and overcome. Scope is large so it covers various mental health and healing concerns. Even her tone of voice and how carries herself. I feel a sense of peace and trust. Not every therapist achieves all this. She’s definitely living her purpose. Can’t wait to purchase her books.

[@rebeccageigerholistics]

I haven’t spoke to my mother in almost eighteen years. I do not condone her behavior and choices, but I understand it’s because SHE is broken. The understanding gives me peace, but does not mean I should accept it have a relationship with her. I just love that someone else has the guts to put themselves, their true SELF, first.

[@wind10miko]

Curious, did she tell you that you're ungrateful to her (caregiver) like the example they discussed in the video?

[@rebeccageigerholistics]

wind10miko No, she never said anything actually. She knows she is wrong, but she is too weak to address it.

[@privateuno8897]

I agree Rebecca. Many remain Broken because they refuse to say three words, " I WAS WRONG''.

[@rebeccageigerholistics]

@Lisa R It may seem like that from the outside, and I do agree that some relationships can be mended over time. However, what is really unhealthy is having a relationship with someone who remains married to a man that sexually abused her child. I have forgiven her for my own well-being, but I will never have a relationship with her. Nor should anyone who has been abused. Some relationships just can't be mended. And that's okay.

[@rebeccageigerholistics]

@@privateuno8897 True! And we have to understand and accept that they may never utter those words. And that's okay.

[@rhondaroberts7531]

That is so powerful! Having the capacity to empathize and understand why a person may be doing things that are abusive and not allowing that knowledge to keep you in the abusive relationship! It's an AND situation. I see why you are doing this AND (insert boundary) I'm not going to stay in this relationship because I don't have to stay, even though I understand the why! HUGE! This kept me in a bad marriage for Way too long!

[@priyankamudaliar6147]

I have been following holistic psychologist on insta since last year. Its been helpful in creating a pathway for healing along with counselling sessions with a therapist. Thank you Lewis and Dr. Nicole for this podcast. Such conversations should become a part of daily routine - - - healing, inner child wounds, the ego, empathy, inner work, breath work, who we are, stillness, silence, patterns 🙌🙌🙌🙌Thank you 🤗🤗👌👌💕

[@janetkipova4596]

"I have a crazy capacity to understand people and to understand why people do what they do to the extent that I would invalidate my experience of them for so long and then allow them to do what they wanna do around me or to me." Us not having to live this way is such a simple concept but it was eye-opening.

[@iamaleo247]

@Janet Kipova: Same!💯

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

I claim a beautiful heart-centered healing for the friendship between myself and my best friend. May all visible and invisible support surround us both in the healing power of love and truth. It is possible, it is happening and it is divine. And so it is.

[@markomarkovic8390]

I like how LePera takes concept of healing whole being: nerve system healing,gut health healing,thought healing,soul healing...really smart and I would like to read her book 📚

[@marciasibeles2194]

Wow! Dr Nicole is amazing! Love when she said to "ask ourselves what we were saying to ourselves at the moment another one triggers us"...the narrative/story in our head... it's going to help me a lot now! Thank you! Wonderful interview!

[@antoinettezakhar5343]

Everything discussed here is like the Characteristics,traits and solutions of an Adult Child of Alcoholics 12 step program. I can really connect to everything she says. Flight or fight, fried Vagus nerve , adrenal glands, negative self talk and disassociation.

[@sethleach6867]

Lewis said something really profound that I picked up on..... "Ask with a open mind".

[@gyoumans2901]

I love that Dr. LePera uses herself as examples and has relatable stories, thank you both💜

[@shayasanova6272]

This is not brand new information.... this is what. Spirituality teaches us on a daily and “the power of the subconscious mind”

[@camillaw-lk9gi]

All I can do is cry. Cry listening and feeling the most heard and understood I’ve never felt before.

[@melits6450]

What I really love about this episode is how hopeful and honest it is! I'm not saying the other ones aren't, but especially in Corona times it's great to hear people believing we're on the brink of a beautiful evolution instead of being one huge step closer to doom as a species. Such beliefs are wonderful and I love how it's spread! Thanks to everyone involved in making this episode happen!

[@diy-glamour]

I loved listening to Nicole. Thank you for being so real and honest. Please have her on again!

[@SammieRobertsx]

Actually love Lewis! He’s so real, genuine and the school of greatness has changed my life! Thank you

[@ladyofspa]

This is great, but there use to be online radio called hay house with nothing but great teachers back to back live, and could call in ask questions. Now it's a money grab shell of itself.

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

I just loved the way she said, " We need to understand that we are humans trying to raise humans and we are going to fuck up and that's just natural". What I also understand is, that we are life- a different format, trying to evolve it's own self and we are going to mess us, we are going to fall, as life tries to consciously evolve itself though us, when it brings to our subconscious to our conscious awareness and that's an organic process. The process of Self realization and Self actualization had never been a garden of Roses without thorns. Thanks a ton Lewis for bringing forth such profound conversations.😊🙏

[@AngelaLynn-cq8fl]

Thank you for hosting Dr Nicole. She has such a great message and her work so profound. Always love anything she has to share. So relatable. ❤

[@SuePenn]

Love you Dr. Nicole! I have followed you on KZbin, since you started it. I have learned so much from you. You entered my life when I was in need of help and I was ready to hear what you had to say. I wish I would have had someone like you to follow 40 years ago.

[@ek1648]

I appreciate her honesty when talking about her trigger. She’s so helpful in the ways she explains herself. I have a question, when you tell someone no, why are the people waiting for a reason as to why you can’t?

[@seegee84]

E K That’s the worst! Smh, I know this all too well...No! But why tho 🙃

[@marieferguson2442]

Poor understanding of boundaries very common

[@eunicedetoiles9901]

Dr. Nicole LePera is so very smart! Thank you for this. What I take from this (the #1 Gems here) is Observe the damaging thought, Remove Focus without Judgement and Affirmations.... and also Heal the Body first... and also it takes time...meditation and morning practice sets up your day for peace thats why it's so important.....

[@FitKaurTraining]

Love you Nicole! You've been instrumental in my healing journey

[@lewishowes]

She's been so helpful for me as well!

[@WayneSharp-x8n]

Dr. Nicole LePera you have a very profond sense of purpose for helping others.😮

[@mariateresaemotionalmusings]

Look at these 2 powerfully insightful humans that we can learn from on social media. Plugging into Dr. Nicole's advice and guidance has seriously shifted my life for the way better. Thank you Dr. Nicole. Thank you Lewis Howes. You are both so valuable to our society especially right now❤❤

[@peggybaker1852]

Thank you for explaining why I am the way at I am. Work in progress. I did pass this to my children sadly. Want to return to health for all of us!

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Wow Lewis, Thank You for inviting Dr. LePera to share her insights! Thank You Lewis!

[@JBbrownie98]

This interview has done wonders in my own self healing! All of the themes presented answered some of the most important questions and concerns that I've been dealing with for over 75% of my life. Thank you!

[@shiragoldberg7744]

I appreciate her because she shares her personal life and what she is talking about being “stuck” It’s the process of healing is universal. It is empowering. ❤️

[@maritessburgos1910]

29:35 Wow so potent...I am 33 years old and had to learn, I have to love myself, learn self-love and compassion. Commit to it and follow through. Everything else will fall into place...easier said than done but yes, being present and making choices as best as I can and to slow down, Thank you so much.

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@liliworth8098]

Dr Nicole is authentic and real. Speaks from experience not just the book. ❤️❤️❤️

[@Misslotusification]

17:53: It's the feeling of being a separate, incomplete, vulnerable and disconnected self that is at the heart of not feeling heard, validated, appreciated and loved. It comes from a deep conviction that there is something lacking, that that I am this small entity I call 'me' and that desperately needs confirmation that it is good enough. At some point we've got to grow-up, and shift our childish perspective on who we really are. And once we've realised who we really are beyond the concept, all the troubles and the problems of that concept seem to vanish by themselves, no need for breathing techniques any more.

[@ronjakh]

As I grew up and had my own life experiences and reflected on my own childhood as well as how and when my parents grew up, I found the space to forgive or at the very least accept that they are human beings as well as my parents. They had a life before me where they were shaped and experienced trauma of their own. I accept that they did the best they could with the tools they were given and what they were emotionally capable of. It is now my job to stop this cycle and try to not carry it along to future generations.

[@lailaempressoftheeast9171]

That's a beautiful way of looking at it. It's important to also impart that to our children. To give them their rights as a child and then in their adulthood to impart what we've learnt when it's is appropriate.

[@trishmennell]

Your children are fortunate. :)

[@redlipmarketing867]

Amen. New generations are the King.

[@PowerfulU]

So many great pieces of insights on this one with Nicole. It seems like you two can sit and talk about these topics for hours on end.... and we wouldn't mind that at all.

[@erinbuzzetti6359]

Love has ebb and flow, like the ocean...I am so loving letting go, learning! You know! Respecting each other is great! Loving and growing.

[@Guddilove801]

I love the aliveness you bring in to your interviewing style and it looks and feels very authentic. Very rare !! Thank you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@lynettewilliams2379]

So glad you kept having Nicole on. She is helping me so much. For the first time it makes sense

[@itsmichellemika]

I want to see her sit at the Red Table too!!

[@jacquelineg3987]

Creativity every day to make someone feel important!! Yes 🥰 Let's us all practice how to make all feel as a gift to the world! Speak to the child

[@pandamama4094]

Dr Gabor Mate is great teacher of childhood trauma.

[@desireenunez7824]

This is incredible! I am so grateful for this episode! Thank you for your words of wisdom. Thank you for making a difference and sharing awareness. 🙏🏽 Blessings

[@KidThisCrazy]

omg about the forgiving part, so on point! i Went through that and finally could let go when i had distans to the person and could see the entire person: their past experiences and how those could have manifested in the present. doesnt mean at all that youre letting the person off the hook, its more of an out for yourself.

[@OdkritoPodcast]

loved the interview, but I wish Lewis wouldn't interrupt Nicole so much. Sometimes she wanted to develop the idea she was talking about and i didn't always appreciate him cutting her off or finishing her sentences for her - maybe she would've say something else. idk. Other than that, very insightful interview! :)

[@ladyofspa]

🎯

[@horrorcops]

I remember seeing Nicole awhile ago, but I really felt this video is a great reminder to me. I was always trying to be unconscious in some way, escaping mainly through drinking. I decided to stop and work on my self and all the reasons I had gotten into this habit of drinking to cope with everything. Yes there is some pain under there, and I agree that being able to see more clearly and respond instead of react. I realise its everything piece by piece that get us to a better place... its always working on ourselves...

[@nicholejohnson.j]

❤ thank you both for being couragous enough to share your experiences to help others heal 🥰 my whole world has changed this morning due to this space you have cultivated ♥️

[@markomarkovic8390]

About triggers,self observance is key.By recognizing your triggers and what activates them.How you feel in that moment.Understanding it's brain and how we are programmed in childhood.Also,observe how you talk to yourself.Inner voice is integrated from one of the parents or both.Practicing self care and compassion by treating yourself gently.This requiers a lot of concious effort to recognize this patterns and how they influence us.

[@mediokritet]

This is so packed with precious tools to implement I'll be rewatching it multiple times. Thank you, love both of your work 🙏

[@thesmallthingsinlife7]

This is for sure one of the most important videos on the internet! 😍💪🏼 I really appreciate it

[@jacintacruz9492]

I extremely relate to all of this I am scared of good stuff to fill good all the times etc

[@helenbird1664]

Nicole thank you for the diversity of topics covered .🏅❤️ Lewis your interview skills are better and more balanced . The years you have had great guests it’s been nice to see your great skills evolve . Thank you 😊 keep it up 👍

[@guitarsz]

is it me or do these two have chemistry? lewis can’t stop smiling, he’s all dimples

[@reli2520]

Lewis.. I really like all interviews you do with Nicole lepera. It's such exciting helpful discussion for me and I believe for all people too who are in need to this, so please do it repetitively.

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@dobiminarikova]

Guys, you’re absolutely amazing 🙌🏼

[@capricecraigmill9926]

It's better to be kind than being right

[@valeriadt]

Lewis has grown so much. his reflections keep getting better and better. Love both your work and I appreciate it so much. when I see these type of videos my days just get better. I love the point where she mentions that there's growth when you realize that partner doesn't change. you do!!! so good. thank you.

[@eps4560]

At 1:07:57 after she tells her story of her being in that calm, logical professional, observant, rational state and yet realizing she was disconnected from her subconsious full emotional self. What I found is that people who can keep that consious logical stance AND can keep connected with the full emotional self, have a "tell". And that is..... warmth. You feel a little genuine warmth coming from them. It oozes from them or comes from their eyes. It is Them in their power with the addition of humble genuine CARE for you. And y'all know what I mean when you experience it from someone! Just wow! No warmth. They either arent aware of needing to connect with heart at the same time but are actually a very loving person or they are stressed and locking it up for reasons, or they could just be a cold hearted meanie, who knows. Not your problem. To know and practice the skills of high quality Emotional Responsiveness helps to do this state of being left brain And warm at the same time. A vid by Maya Diamond who has a Ted Talk titled, The Suprising Key to Build a Healthy Relationship that lasts, helps explain this. 1. Being "Accessable" (quality presence) 2. Responsiveness (skilled, intended, healthy responses) 3. Engaged. (Caring, attentiveness to others. Honoring THEM versus making it all about You in interactions) Awareness of your own expectations and others subconcious expectations and motivations etc. Knowing HOW to implement your boundaries with courage blah blah blah. Bottom line. Look for Professional consious strenght and power WITH the addition of caring, loving Warmth exuding from them and you have a balanced solid person speaking With you, not At you. 👍

[@Bhiladpy-up9uy]

Lewis is such a positive man. Love you bro 🔥🔥🔥

[@halaali1721]

Min 36 very well explained the real transformation process. Thank you very much

[@lewishowes]

Thanks!

[@juliebeutler1625]

I have been thinking that the reason we are more messed up now and dealing with more emotional problems than we have ever seen, anxiety, depression, stress, not loving ourselves, feeling less than, or not heard, or important, it is because we all carry the traumas that not only our parents and peers gave to us, but because every new generation has more traumas to carry from past generations! Every new generation has to carry one more generation of past traumas. It continuously adds more and more traumas on us! Yet at the same time we are now able to learn and understand more than our grandparents or parents did, and our children are able to learn faster and more than we are, because they also carry the strengths and positive beliefs and skills that we and our past generations carried! That is why technology and medicine constantly get better! So we have so much good and bad baggage!! But if we allow ourselves to look at everything we carry or experience as good, then we can appreciate and accept things easier and learn from them! Since so many of us are feeling this weight that we are carrying now, we are actually finding more answers and understanding how to heal ourselves which past generations didn’t do! And as we work on healing ourselves we can help make future generations better!! I like to try and remember that everything is good! It’s either a good moment or a good learning experience.

[@MikeBarron1]

Trust the process!

[@k.m.jordan4774]

Excellent interview. She's very intelligent, empathic and relatable.

[@Joohee4]

I like to think if you have the right intentions, that will help to make you succesful... so , maybe that's why she has been more succesful than others. I know I have learned from her videos.

[@wind10miko]

Literally 3 pages back to back of notes from this, truly could be a book of tools itself. I'm interested specifically on the parent part as it is now at the boundary stage where I cut ties and they dont know why, especially for them will seem like it's coming from nowhere

[@janethomas78]

Being vs doing... I was always invisible and if I complained about my needs being met it became a contest for my family to give me as little attention as possible to see if they could actually make me disappear. I was so socially isolated I never could really make friends. I have no idea what it feels like to not be on guard in the presence of predators (people).

[@cristianar8043]

I can relate🙏🏻

[@privateuno8897]

Def of forgiveness -Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go,” deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. ... Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. If a person who has wronged me does not come to me and ask for forgiveness or to make amends, I do not apply the word ''forgive'' or pardon , nor do I condone or excuse the offense. Should they come forward with sincerity, to make amends and ask for forgiveness, then I will forgive. Until then, I must find the strength to "let it go'', refuse victim mentality , take my mind and energy off of them and use my energy in a positive way.

[@zelma5380]

She’s amazing!! Goodness she gets me!! I do think she’s describing a type 9 in the enneagram chart. I’m type 9. I really think most of her audience may be a type 9 or have a partner that’s a type 9. Type 9s need therapist like her ❤

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@0oohnegative]

She puts out very good quality content. I first found her on Instagram while trying to fill my page with therapists lol I love her posts the most. I am excited to find her on KZbin now

[@bernibee4307]

Absolutely loved this interview. I think Tantra is the way to acceptance of self and others.

[@karenfischer]

Thank you Lewis so much for this insightful interview. Nicole rocks!!!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Karen Fisher, you must be a kind being 💓 ☺️🤙

[@daniella5624]

Thank goodness I came across you Lewis!! You are inspiring. Inspires me to be the person I want to be, to serve others as well as I can with love and compassion. 😁 thank you for what you do in the world.

[@lewishowes]

This means a lot to me. Thank you so much. 🙏

[@dolsiemercado3140]

In order to accept your part you need to recognize your true feeling first. Convincing your unconscious is the true key. Then you can heal your soul and mind. Slowly you see it physically by feeling peaceful aura around you.

[@nicolereed6015]

Very helpful .. I saw so much stuff she was saying in myself .. THANK YOU 😁

[@srick0504]

Wow, what a phenomenal interview. Great job. Thank you so much for doing this.

[@taniesha945]

Thank you for interviewing her. But really wish it could have been more personal, rather than general

[@paulaysasi6298]

hands down my favorite episode !

[@DheraSpicy]

Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

[@sveinsina]

Authentic, deep and real conversation, love it !

[@iga2226]

men, I love this interview platform

[@flipflop6724]

Nicole, Don't forget the underlying desire of many people is to be happy in life and if working on oneself doesn't lead to more happiness one will sooner or later probably start asking oneself: What's the whole point of it all when changing myself doesn't make me any happier in the end? Is it worth the effort? Why not just stay the way I am? At least it feels natural and requires no restraint, effort or discipline on my side. No doubt such candidates will end up falling back into old familiar behaviour patterns. Of course there are some of us (not me) whose goal in life is to improve themselves and become a better person or do all they can to overcome their suffering for once and all. They're willing to work on themselves constantly and as you say Nicole, DO THE WORK. To be honest and I don't mean that nastily I don't really think you've said anything Nicole that most psychologists aren't already aware of. Why your book has become a bestseller in the USA has either to with the fact that you've chosen topics that appeal to a wide range of sufferers out there or you've managed to explain human behaviour in such a way that it resonates with many of us. Or perhaps your book just came out at the right time. Or who knows maybe you were just damn lucky and good fortune was on your side. ❤️

[@ceciliabruma3658]

Such an insightful, beautiful and natural conversation! Thank you ♥️

[@lewishowes]

❤️

[@marilynmartinez6651]

Totally understood by hearing your story. Thank ya Dr Nicole for your sharing

[@Somun-a]

Just to say that "It's a lifetime thing" may be technically correct but as time goes, things will improve so much so that this dysregulated states are far less frequent - and you are able to handle them with much less effort. And you can even use them to notice the areas that need work. I would strongly suggest Pete Walker's book on C-PTSD.

[@melshonestsoul2200]

Awesome!!!! Again I learned so much and can work on me and share in my family. Thank you 🙏🏽 ❣️

[@lewishowes]

Love it! What was your biggest takeaway from this episode?

[@lauriedonnelly7134]

I’m on the waitlist!! Love your work and authenticity ❤️

[@lewishowes]

🧡