What I Wish I Knew About Success | A Monk's Perspective

Growing up, I was told how to live. Specially, how to be successful. Success showed up in the form of status, money, career, partner, children, house, etc. And coming to the United States as an immigrant, I quickly subscribed to these goals and standards. But many years later, my life took a completely different turn and I wanted to take this moment to reflect back on this concept of success. I wanted to pull out the wisdom and share it in hopes that it helps someone along their own journey. I hope this is helpful. Enjoy! #buddhism #monks #mentalhealth
Timestamp
0:00 Intro
9:02 Is this it?
10:43 Is there an end to success?
11:53 What i wish i knew about success
12:31 You don’t have to follow it
13:32 There are options
19:50 Takeaway
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Thanks for watching.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

What are your views and relationship to success?

[@Rfpepe7295]

As I age, I find myself looking in the rearview mirror of life.. I see that I was chasing all the wrong things.. Money, Girls, Drugs.. etc..... in the pursuit of success. Now, I realize that every Sunrise, a warm smile, a simple roof over my head, and food in my mouth are the true measure of success. I wish I learned that much earlier in my life.

[@harriedsloth4399]

I view selfless love as the highest form of success. Considering my motives for doing things is how I measure my success in this regard. This type of love requires a "dying to self". It is often painful, sometimes difficult, but always rewarding. The reward is twofold: it is external as I get to enjoy seeing the improvements such love brings to the lives of its recipients, and internal as I see my soul being transformed by the practice of such self-less love. Admittedly, I often find my motives to be selfish and my willingness to love others as lacking. This leaves me feeling empty and unfilled. Much less often, I find myself operating in selfless love and feel a deep satisfaction, as though I am on the right track to fulfilling my purpose. I love what you said about purity, because the purest of motives leads to the most selfless of loves. To me it looks like two sides of the same coin. Striving for purity of thought, speech, and action leads to expressions of selfless love, while striving to do actions of selfless love leads to purity as a result.

[@danfunk5505]

By every measurement of conventional success, I'm a failure. Looking back over my 58 years, my travels,adventures, stories collected, lessons learned, unlearned, still learning my regrets are trivial.This might change tomorrow.I'm coming to understand the only certainty is uncertainity. I don't think I'll ever be ungrateful. Thank you for your story.

[@lubosvokel1537]

A calm mind, balanced mood and getting rid of irritation over unimportant things. But it took me 39 years to realize that :) Oopsy Daisy!

[@FizaQureshi-wr5nj]

@@lubosvokel1537 cheap buddish

[@jenmccann5446]

Having had a very turbulent abusive childhood where at the same time I was taught to take care of and help others, success to me is a safe peaceful place to live where I can nurture myself and my surroundings. Instead of trying to save the world, I am saving myself.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Yesss! That is a wonderful goal my friend. We need you nice and healthy 😊

[@jenmccann5446]

@@nickkeomahavong01 ❤️✌️

[@websurfer5772]

I'm on the same path and it's hard because the outside world tells me they hate me for it but I have no choice, I have to live my life for me and that's truly my road. Even my astrological charts tell me this. Carry on and know that you're doing some of the toughest work a human can do. 💛

[@JPS-hd8qz]

"Seek nothing outside of yourself. Everything is within." Miyamoto Musashi

[@nickkeomahavong01]

😊😊

[@Michieldering]

Success to me, now I am almost 70 years old, means to be able to accept all things as they are. Meditation helps me to do so: breathing in, breathing out.

[@nicholaskaburu5928]

Keep it going, always try hard and skillfully - All the best

[@juliequick5526]

Oh, Venerable Nick, I am struggling. I care for a very disabled husband and reach a point of not coping much more often than I want to admit. I accept my circumstances until they are stretched further and then despair hits me. Your videos are such a support, but I don’t know how much longer I an bounce back. Please have me in your prayers. Thank you 💖

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"True success is not what you can do for yourself but what you can do for others." A visiting lecturer said this my sophomore year in college and I have never forgotten it. That was in 1993. My service: A caseworker for military veterans. Assist them with employment, training, housing, resume, cover letter, basic computer training, clothing, and food security. And earn a good living while doing it.😊🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

That’s wonderful my friend. You get to help yourself and help others 😊

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

Well put and absolutely correct.😊 Take care of yourself.🙏

[@rollandjoeseph]

Great talk Venerable Nick...I gave up drinking 2+ yrs ago. I wanted to get healthier. I found out that my world opened up to what's important to me, my world , my health blossomed and still is. I'm much happier, calmer and it's all authentic..If anyone is debating whether to make this change, give it a try..there is so much peace and beauty on the other side of alcohol.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Oh wonderful my friend. Congratulations and please keep it up 😊

[@janinehew9944]

Absolutely true! Bravo you 👏🥰

[@patriciafransisca5351]

“you don’t have to follow that” Thank you Ven Nick for the wisdom!

[@louisel.sinniger2057]

My small family grew up with little. Couldn’t even own a car, so we lived where we could walk or take a bus into town. We had love though. I wanted more from life and I knew I needed to get a good education so I could obtain employment in a field I could be helpful to others and myself. It took time, I achieved my-success. (did not get a PhD) I put conscious effort in my endeavors. I succeeded. I don’t subscribe to a-lot of mainstream ideations. I just want peace in my mind and life. Simplicity I feel is a good thing. Thank you Nick for sharing

[@markhines192]

Venerable Nick I heard a great definition of success. "success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced everyday."

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Oh that’s a great statement 😊

[@Momo969602]

Jim Rohn? :) I love his lectures. His definition of failure is also wise: a few errors in judgment repeated every day. Be blessed.

[@websurfer5772]

@@Momo969602 Well, I'm both a failure and a success by that measure. Gotta keep trudgin' on though. For some of us success is riding 'til we make it to the bell. 🔔

[@purpleicewitch6349]

I was constantly told the same thing as a kid: work hard in school, go to college, and you'll get a good job. Only I found out that it's not true. They only give the good jobs to people with the preferred demographics of the hiring manager. I ended up working 12-16hr days for half of what I should have gotten paid, just to stay off the street. That's when I realized that "success" isn't found within the capitalist, environmentally destructive system. Success for me now is surviving each day of this mess and trying to help and educate others when I can.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Yes the pressure can definitely feel a lot.

[@alejorojas9563]

Thanks for sharing 😊 . Beautiful comment!

[@ginahamlyn2569]

Makes total sense, thank you Ven Nick for sharing so openly about your journey.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome Gina. Thank you so much 😊

[@spikeafrican8797]

Success is getting up again and doing your best after one of lifes many failures.😊

[@nickkeomahavong01]

😊😊

[@67NewEngland]

- As you know California is more materialistic than most places in the US. It’s no wonder this was your mindset at one time Nick. Lucky for you you’ve evolved to a much happier place. As Thoreau said : “Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only. Money is not required to buy one necessary of the soul. A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

[@JulieCarl-cp9bq]

Hi Venerable Nick! Your videos are always so genuine and authentic especially when you talk about your own life and experiences - I really enjoy listening to you. My personal feeling of success is to see my son grow up well and find his purpose in the world.😊 Thank you for your guidance and inspiration!

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Aww thank you so much and sending my good wishes to you and your son 😊

[@user-pu7ti4zj4h]

i came to the psychotherapist with the same issue - never is enough. he helped me to understand that some of us who are born with nothing aspire to something greater. this process of aspiration requires hard work as well, which ultimately trains our dopamine system to become a "professional achiever". we then can't simply un-want achieving, we have already developed specific neural pathways. acknowledging this helped me incredibly.

[@TseringTara-gq1cj]

Thank you so much for sharing your life experiences and kind thoughts. I am always, always, always grateful for you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome! I’m glad it resonates 😊

[@TravelingDan20]

Im so happy that ive chased a different mindset for my life👍🏻 thanks for all you do nick!

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you so much my friend 😊

[@michellemayo07]

Venerable Nick, I am so grateful to have found you about 2 years ago. Thank you for your work and all of your help. ❤️

[@AndAbr21]

Thank you, as always, Venerable Nick. This was a truly helpful video for me. I see myself as a failure and base that conclusion on the views, actions, and outcomes in others lives. Also, the way success is portrayed in the modern world, as you say, the house, the career, the body etc. I will watch this video again but I already know that I need to see “success” in a different way. I have been a Buddhist practitioner for about 20 years now, have taken the lay Buddhist precepts, but even that brings thoughts of failure, that I am not a good enough Buddhist! I ended my career early due to burn out and mental health problems, failure! I don’t have a big house, failure! No! I am a kind person, I care for others, I volunteer for others now, I meditate nearly every day, I have been on week long retreats. Purity of thought, purity of speech, and purity of action, is something that I would like to work with. I almost said that to live with purity is a success, but again the word success brings with it, for me, the word failure. Just live with purity, the rest will look after itself, maybe? Thank you. 🙏

[@nerdbamarich2063]

I can't wait to check this out. I pray that all is well my friend.😊🙏🏾

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you my friend! Greetings from Thailand 😊

[@bonniewoodard2771]

Thank you Nick :) You are right, I don't need to become a monk :) but I truly like everything you shared ... simple, peaceful, kind, every day becoming a better person towards Purity... Thank you once again!

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You're most welcome!

[@radiantsewerrat1987]

Nick, your videos are amazing and I love your channel! You give me hope that I can turn my life around and follow the way of the Buddha

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you so much and I’m glad it’s helpful my friend 😊

[@myrahochreutener2040]

Dear Venerable Nick, Thank you deeply for sharing your experience so freshly and true. Love from Switzerland

[@nickkeomahavong01]

My pleasure! Thank you so much 😊

[@FizaQureshi-wr5nj]

@@nickkeomahavong01 apni face dekh phela fir bolna thank

[@eri_dailylife]

I love watching your videos and want to binge every of them! you feel like a master to me!

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you my friend. I’m glad you’re enjoying the videos 😊

[@jeremytorgersen]

Wonderful video, thank you for this message!

[@ilonabarteczka253]

Powerfull message, thank you very much 🙏🏻💚

[@ilariatremolada379]

Dear Nick, thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a genuine, vulnerable and relatable way. Deep lessons in simple words ❤️🙏

[@moistgravy]

Thank you 🙏

[@emanuelgy729]

Wonderful message,.. thanks🙏❤

[@adamraymond272]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom Nick 🙏

[@lindacatalano3244]

Thanks nick for your wisdom ❤

[@geertjevandermeer4411]

beautiful Nick! Thank you again

[@ericgalindo6288]

Thank you

[@donaldsimons2429]

You are an inspiration, Ven. Nick. Thank you.

[@sholomhoffman]

Thank you venerable Nick great video

[@peacefulbliss323]

Thank you. You always teach wisdom.

[@FihasiaTshirtStore]

Thank you for sharing experience with wisdom, so powerful 🙏

[@armelleore4356]

Thank you dear friend. you are so deep and clear

[@viaesta]

Thank you venerable! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@foxmacnamara8809]

Hi Mr. Nick! Time sure is flying by man. It seems like only yesterday I watched your first video! My experience with being successful is that once you succeed at something, fulfill some real long term goal you then become addicted to that success. It is easy to lose your way chasing success...a person can become very manipulative, underhanded, and "cut throat" to continue to succeed. There is a healthy way to handle your success and an unhealthy way to handle your success. I have also noticed that money will change the people around you more so than it will change you yourself. Thank You Nick! Sending good vibes your way!! 🙏🏻🩶

[@reneelynn444]

Thank you so much for sharing in an honest and sacred way

[@artfuldodger7838]

Success is having what you want. I'm not talking about the big house, handsome husband, beautiful children, all that. Money is nice. I'd like to have enough to pay my bills, and have some set aside for emergencies, and have a few things I want, like my Stanley Mouse plates. (I'm an old lady. Plates on the walls, right?) I got a scholarship to an exclusive high school, and that was where I realized I didn't want to be rich. I didn't like the people. It was bad enough they gave me a lot of crap for coming from the slums and having immigrant parents, but they just couldn't see that I had things they didn't. Skills. I had skills. They could fall back on having Daddy or Momzie paying for it. I shoveled snow, mowed lawns, babysat. The kids in my neighborhood made stuff. Guy up the street put a lawnmower engine on his bike. Voila! he had a motorcycle. If I wanted one of the then-fashionable beaded bracelets or whatever, I made it. My junior and senior years--I'd transferred out of that school to a public school, a story in itself--I had a side job of patching jeans. Fashionable then. I tried to do the success thing as society sees it, and I just couldn't. Now in my late 60s, I know skills are wealth. You do need money for some things, and there are things I can't repair, can't build, but I've learned skills are wealth. I'll never be what society considers wealthy, and that's fine by me. If I wake up to a flooded kitchen, I know what to do, there's no worry about my bank balance, or how fast the plumber will get here. I lived wild for a bit, and I'm saving up to get a place in the woods again. Won't be able to live as rough as I did, but the city, with all the lights, sirens, trucks...My peace will be complete once I get away from all this noise.

[@roselipestana4306]

Your words and wisdom is a balsam to my soul… thank you! I feel the exact same way.

[@NatiYoga-zb1ob]

Love your stories and the lessons.. so much wisdom! Thank you, Nick🙏🏼❤️

[@WorldWideWebObserver]

So many of us need to hear your insights and wisdom. Thanks for sharing Nick.💐

[@blossoming_of_lotus_flower]

Thank you for that.. it is quite motivating.. sometimes when I think about success, I think about all the things I want to do.. its like an unquenchable thirst.. I thought its good to keep that up because by then I'd never lose interest or focus on my goals. But Im exhausting myself.. I find that desiring good things is not bad but its also important to value the present even if reality doesnt exactly match what we want.

[@MatveyColovey-qr7kv]

You are absolutely amazing person ❤️🌸🌺🌻🙏

[@mellymurloc]

Ven. Nick, thank you for sharing. As im currently asking myself these questions. I need to remind myself to stop and reflect ❤. Lots of love, Mel 🙏

[@Kashimir]

Purity!!!!!

[@shinytrashbag]

Many thanks for those valuable facts. It brings me to think over and over what success means or should be.

[@jeantay3586]

Good sharing for self reflection, thank u Ven Nick, Sadhu 🙏

[@AnrupB]

Perfect timing for me,, thanks!! 🙏🏼😊

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome 😊

[@rakhisingh271]

Hello Nick! Lots of love from India!!❤

[@Jess-ji5ss]

You described it perfectly

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you so much 😊

[@luckyyash621]

I will always follow your advice🙏🙏 Thank you Nick for your guidance ❤️🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You are so welcome 😊

[@robinbaker3346]

Thank you so much Venerable Nick for sharing your thoughts and wisdom regarding success. It is appreciated. You are truly a light and blessing in this world. Wishing you every blessing.

[@TusharBooks]

This is the best channel on youtube. Thankyou sir

[@user-eo9if8bh5w]

Thank you from Poland ❤

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You're welcome 😊

[@Heidi1466]

Thank you for sharing Send you hugs and kisses From Austria lots of Love ❤

[@racheljones9786]

YESSSSS! 🙏

[@chentequilichini7182]

And for all that we are truly greatfull nick, as in in top of all that you have decided to share all that wisdom, with all of us, to help us on the path of peace, serenity , and hapiness..what a better purpose of existance than that,? simple none...thank you always!!

[@jamesbuckner6536]

Very helpful info, and much appreciated, thank you

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Glad it was helpful! And thank you 😊

[@liftedbodhisattva]

Thank you Nick 💜

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re so welcome my friend 😊

[@mtoffel1]

this video really spoke to me, thank you Venerable Nick. I also once believed that success was a particular formula that included a big house, big title, and children, but life actually gave me a lesson when we found we couldn't have children. I had to reevaluate what I thought success was. Your video brought me peace and I am so grateful to you for sharing your wisdom and life with us all. Much love from NJ. ❤

[@ms.a1468]

Thank you for sharing, going through a hard time now and this is helpful🧡

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Sending you my blessings my friend. Hope it all works out smoothly.

[@clarissa1663]

Thank you!

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You're welcome!

[@fk4128]

Always a pleasure listening to you. For me success is learning constantly about my different parts inside me. Being in conversation with them and having a good connection to them. Not always easy. Rebellious or anxious child are often very loud and I have to be careful that they do not prevail.

[@primajump]

This was beautiful, dear Monk. Keeping these three elements in the background of my being (purity in thought, purity in speech, and purity in action) as I move from moment to moment is just sufficient for me from this day on. Thank you for your work. I shall share this wisdom with others when the need arises.

[@billmcculley9502]

I needed this today. Thank you. All i want is to live a life of meaning and purpose. Im spiritually bankrupt after spending too much time chasing what we are told we should be pursuing.

[@apeacelily5151]

🙏🙏 Thank you for sharing your story Ven. Nick. The less I attach, the more contented and peaceful I feel. Purity - that. So simple yet so successful. Simple life, here I come! Namaste 🙏

[@user-bs9bs6ki3o]

Thank you so much Venerable Nick. I enjoyed this video so much I’m truly grateful for all your work 🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You are so welcome! Thank you so much. I’m glad it resonates with you 😊

[@josephwong7103]

Only now that I realised that being rich & successful is being contented with what we have. 🙏🏼

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Yesss. Gratitude is so key 😊

[@reginaanthonypillai7515]

Thank you ven Nick for sharing your wisdom it is so helpful for those who aspire to lead a successful life

[@nickkeomahavong01]

My pleasure! Thank you. I’m glad the stories resonates with you 😊

[@sandnyc]

Thank you🌄

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome ☺️

[@harriedsloth4399]

Thank you, my friend.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome ☺️

[@MinnerWinner]

Thank you Venerable Nick- I've been watching you for a few years now and I'm extremely grateful for your service. I've gone from losing everything 10 years ago to now having this full, rich life now that's filled with all the responsibilities you speak of in this video. At times it's very difficult to be unattached to these things and practice the eightfold path in all of its tenets. I'm grateful again for your reminder to meditate and reflect and grow in body, speech and mind.

[@moyolenovo3914]

Thank you.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You're welcome!

[@gonzalobaumgartner]

NAIL IT! Thank you so much 🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome! Thank you so much Gonzalo 😊

[@Lubomishka92]

Dear Venerable Nick, I love to listen to your wisdom, guidance and Witt. Life isn’t always easy for not just some but for many people. There are highs and lows and you have to hold on tight and learn from mistakes that may have been made. I count myself very lucky, I do have an amazing husband, I say amazing because I‘m his No 1 and I his. We’re not rich, we pay the bills because we have worked very hard in our lives. I have just celebrated my 60th birthday and I’m thankful that I‘m surrounded by love, and love doesn’t cost anything and neither does courtesy towards others. It costs nothing to say hello to the old man or woman that you pass in the morning, you may even lift their spirits as well as your own. Thankyou for sharing your journey and when tomorrow comes, enjoy your day, from the wee Scot who lives in Germany❤

[@leechengtue400]

Venerable Nick, it is always a pleasure to listen to your wise advice. It is so meditative just to listen to your talk. Saddhu & Metta from Malaysia. 🙏

[@sharkysharpy6233]

Thanks for an inspiring experience 🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome ☺️

[@saysaylahwah8261]

Thanks for sharing dharma 🙏🙏🙏

[@nickkeomahavong01]

My pleasure 😊 thank you

[@CraigNews-zv2wy]

ขอบคุณมากๆครับได้ข้อคิดจริงๆ

[@sanidasuwachirad3329]

🙏🙏🙏 Anumodana Sādhu Sādhu Sādhu for the voice of wisdom.

[@lalitshirsat]

Vandami Bhanteji 🙏🙏🙏 from mumbai .you have given concrete conclusion regarding for success...stop,rethink, action, move...thank you

[@normapadro420]

Hello. I always had questions even as a kid. There was so much emptiness all around me. People were mistreating each other, and me for no reason at all. There were times in my life that I wished that I no longer existed. Most of these thoughts were the fault of other's mistreating me. Later I thought why would I even stop living I didn't cause any harm to anybody. I don't listen to negative actions anymore. I live in peace now. People have pushed me away, because I can't be manipulated any longer. This is my success. My mind has been opened.

[@websurfer5772]

Nick, thank you for this inspirational talk. I just want to feel better. I feel like I'm being punished with all this pain and illness I deal with every day. I often feel like a complete loser now and I used to be a happy teacher who was more like a hybrid hippie, philisophically speaking. I never needed all that much. I did want to find true love though and I have, and that's making life much sweeter for me. I think LOVE is the most important thing, but I believe purity is an integral part of LOVE, so I like the Buddhist nun's answer too. Happy National LOVE Day! 💌

[@TeaWillHelp]

That makes a lot of sense to me. Thank you venerable Nick. Saddhu.

[@nickkeomahavong01]

You’re welcome! Thank you so much 😊

[@danhtien168]

Good evening Ven and wish you all the best 🌷🙏🌷🙏🌷🙏🌹🌷🥰

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you so much! You too 😊

[@gitak8406]

Purity in everything ❤❤❤

[@nickkeomahavong01]

😊😊

[@SundayBoy72]

18/2/24 Sunday Teacher, thank you for this timely reminder. Seeing people having limelight at times still makes me feel jealous. I want to change. Instead for jealousy, I can change to celebration on their success. Thank you for this sharing. What is worth pursuing what is worth cultivating. There is so much work I need to do. Transference of merit to Teacher. May Teacher continue to be blessed with health to share these wise teaching. May Teacher continue to turn the wheel of dharma so that all sentient beings will listen and practise the wisdom shared. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu ❤

[@AndreasVlurchVader]

and the switch of light is outside too.

[@jonredd650]

“I wish everyone could get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that's not the answer.” Jim Carrey. My thought is you have to experience some sort of "success" you think you are looking for in order to realize it's not what you're looking for! Does this make any sense. Otherwise you will keep chasing. Idk. I went through a divorce and totally transformed my life for the better. No longer stressed about much. Read a lot of books. Anyways I love the content Nick!👍

[@donaldsimons2429]

Ven. Nick, I should have seen the light, years ago. Better late than never.

[@AkashSingh-rn7dq]

❤❤❤❤

[@akshitdhadwal]

I was in Malibu CA a couple months ago and always thought about you When i drove my car i always thought this could be your house haha :)

[@Flaminingo]

❤

[@uiradaljovem2469]

Success is to be happy, follow the Dhamma leads to happiness!!

[@pratapupadhya.6476]

❤nice video😊

[@nickkeomahavong01]

Thank you