Military TikToks Gone Wrong... Part 3

[@nikkoortiz]

What military branch has the best tiktok fails?!

[@zsigmondgy]

army

[@jamol-the-3rd]

Marines

[@KarlR0678]

Hi

[@L0NERANGR]

Army

[@DudeWithAlopecia]

Marine corp

[@paulherman5822]

Had a nephew whose first deployment was Bosnia. Got out, did a few years as a bailiff, got married (and is still married to her), joined the Navy with the easiest job that they have, tour guide on the USS Constitution. Realised that the advancement was lousy, went back to the Army and saw time in Iraq and Afghanistan. Several IEDs, not a scratch. Maxed as a noncom, got out and has worked with a military contractor ever since. He said, "Same uniform, same weapons, but overtime." 😁

[@jediknight1294]

God I miss being PMC

[@Khornecussion]

@@jediknight1294 I wanted to go military and then do proper mercenary work for something like Blackwater or other shady mercenary com- I mean... Privately contracted military organizations. Leukemia kinda stopped that.

[@jediknight1294]

@@Khornecussion I did the private thing from the start I went to uni had surgery and the money dried up and the big boys with combat resumes started going back to the jobs me with a few classes went for. I miss it... Maybe one day Il go back.

[@brandoncarter6369]

“It’s not a stereotype It’s a statistic” Shit had me laughing so hard

[@ominousspecter9623]

Me2

[@jesteroffire]

I’m in Navy recruiting and EVERY DAY I get calls from the local army base because soldiers have had enough and want to be sailors.

[@Gabe-nx1bz]

STOP THE CAP

[@jesteroffire]

@@Gabe-nx1bz brother, I wish it was cap.

[@johnwanderin3872]

I tried enlisting in the Navy (before my med DQ) and was looking SeaBees so I could be in the “family business” but still do some soldier shit. Go figure.

[@jameshughes6984]

Bullshit

[@MerlinAmbrose]

Army doesn't have "bases", we have POSTS! HOOAH!!! dammit I went full hooah

[@truly_I_say]

I ran pool pt for my platoon for a while and I had this one soldier, black dude, who told me "straight up sgt.. I'll take a field grade before I get in that pool!" and he was ready to fight about it for real... we were in the shallow end too lol

[@TheLovelorn192]

7:28 don’t forget, there is thin glass in there that separates the two liquids. The cracking when you activate it is the glass breaking. So basically “let’s drink deadly chemicals that have glass shards in em”

[@michaelsingleterry1573]

Actually they are nontoxic so just glass is the problem

[@Aredel]

@@michaelsingleterry1573nontoxic =/= safe to consume

[@sciathoir]

@@michaelsingleterry1573the ones made for children yes… these are chemlights, that shit is literal fuckin cancer…. And glass

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

my fav joke is still... "Ok airforce we are meeting at 3 pm, for the army thats 15:00 hours, for the navy thats 6 bells into 4th watch... and for the marines... thats when Mickey's Big hand...."

[@soldierski1669]

Bumped into a guy who went from ARMY to NAVY, said the NAVY was more laid back, said you could get drunk alot more and they didn't seem to care. That being said, he was rotating my tires at a Pep Boys.

[@kaidenhang908]

Man I was searching on Google to see if Marines actually eat crayons and when I got to "do Marines" it immediately gave me the suggestion"do Marines actually eat crayons?" 😂

[@guadalupeibarra5657]

"For my mom's papers" FELT that! 😂😂😂

[@nikkoortizshorts]

SAME

[@thegamingshiba]

Lmao he responded on his shorts account

[@MoonFlux]

I should join the Military as the "Camera guy" Because we all know the Camera Guy never dies, even in a nuke....

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Haha yes 😂

[@reikun86]

Haha True.

[@TF2bot]

Wearing a gopro is scientifically proven to increase survivability in combat by 127%

[@Vanyawwd]

@@TF2botI know it’s a joke but I hate to tell you… 💀 we all wish GoPro could. I think holding the camera is best option

[@TF2bot]

@@Vanyawwd well I guess it is a cameraman and not a goproman

[@christopherdillard1]

"Army and Marines, we work for a living." Come join us on a submarine, Nikko...

[@official_commanderhale965]

Just trying not to OceanGate for a living?

[@Bellthorian]

Or come work as a gunners mate on the USS Iowa in 16 inch turret one.

[@JohnDoe-df2zz]

I needed these laughs. I retired from the Air Force in 2007, my son just left for boot camp today. Hoping he loves it.

[@Aredel]

Got any advice for aspiring recruits?

[@Ima_sniperrr-Louisianacowgirl]

Thanks for making the day better!!! Nikko your frickin awesome keep sending it with the fantastic work!!!! 🤘

[@PhoebeRychener]

Nikko out here making everyone's day better😂❤

[@Blondieee-ke5ez]

YOU WERE IN YOUR MOMS KITCHEN SIR WHEN WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU 😂 TELL ME IM WRONG YOU CANT

[@eduardostapenko6808]

Top reasons i see to join the military: 1: i will have someone telling what to do. And will get a home. 2: i will be able not to have social life. 3: something else i forgot to put here.

[@Landon-rq3ub]

I love the military TikTok fails that he makes

[@nikkoortizshorts]

So funny 😂

[@Macinator36]

Don’t we all

[@hugeinjapan4635]

Navy to Army ... 12 years total. Army was a culture shock. Army was undisciplined, unmotivated, inefficient ...basically a train wrecking into a dumpster fire for 6 years. Consequently ...army was more fun.

[@crystaldunn1082]

Hey Nikko, military guys are the only ones that can handle my personality and aggression, civilian men run away from me.

[@Puggy42069]

Going from Army to Navy is such a massive W. Can confirm the Navy is 2nd to the Air Force.

[@msgoblue71]

I wanna see, Nikko fails! JK Nikko doesn't fail to brighten all our days. On his way to 2m! Thank you, Nikko for all that you do! We appreciate! 💙

[@americasgothart787]

Angry Cops did a whole skit on the idiots drinking the Chem lights. Funny as shit.

[@joshuakelley2882]

Every month we did water survival training, at least 2 black service members needing to be pulled out by the lifeguard.

[@sphyrnidaegames8922]

Godsend Video, THANK YOU!!!!!

[@recking168W]

honestly the army to navy thing is facts the navy dudes always seemed so much happier while us army dudes were depressed as shit slinging monsters 247

[@huntermasterson1774]

I’m ROTC for my high school and watching your videos, helps me because I may want to go into the military one day

[@michaelpadilla2674]

Had a buddy once upon a time, not only twirl chem lights like he was at a rave with company commander, but break it and exchange chem light liquids with said company commander

[@JustanotherScandinaviansailor]

Horah?

[@michaelpadilla2674]

They had a chem light fight. Like paint wars

[@Greek_Valkyrie]

My dad started in the Army and went to Air Force. He served 21+ years (his words). My mom was Air Force and served 7-8 years.

[@Soggywaffles-the-real]

The purple crayons hit different

[@Cod_player_]

7:32 when I was like five or so, I drank some and I thought my stomach was gonna glow. Yes, I really did that.💀💀💀💀

[@americanboy338]

Two guys in my AFROTC Detachment are prior enlisted Army, we’ve all been giving them shit. Granted, we haven’t begun our service yet, so there are some lines we can’t cross. But it’s still a fun time

[@lcscarface]

Coastie here. We had an ex army, marine and an air force dude in my bootcamp company. Both the marine and air force dudes got kicked out. The army guy was squared away.

[@Cheeseman7366]

0:32 kept me watching the whole vid

[@feelinspiffy696]

5:56 nah, what was kowalski getting into

[@ShadowS1-01]

Love the military fails 😂

[@nikkoortizshorts]

They are so good

[@amandachurchfield6542]

Here in under 30 minutes!! Awesome video brother! May God bless you.

[@somefellowontheinterweb]

"You're 115lb..." I don't think the bullet cares how heavy you are or not. Being an armchair pleb, I am not actually privy to this knowledge.

[@rebeccamount50]

0:39 "Your injuries are not service related."

[@KasperJay]

Hey mate, Would you consider doing a haunted location video with Narrator? I reckon that would be hilarious 😂

[@justinfarrar1995]

On my first active duty contract in the Army, I recall seeing numerous marines transferring to the Army when I was PVT snuffy doing my in-processing. I seen at least 3 transitioning in the first 3ish years in the Army. 😂

[@maxgrucza1795]

Nikko has me saying brother brother now and i cant stop.

[@world--Star]

5:55 Nikko say something really cool

[@gold8384]

Holy shit niko this video was funny af lowkey I love your videos please keep going ❤❤❤!

[@itsquarantinetime]

"AIN'T NO STEREOTYPE IT'S A FUCKIN STATISTIC" the fucking truth amen im cackling

[@eduardostapenko6808]

3:43 i want to become a soldier to get such good wake up reaction, you see, even arthellery strikes work pretty bad for me.

[@robertbrooks4413]

One thing that will always wake me up is a metal trashcan bouncing down a wooden floor.....

[@TheHistoryNerdWhoLovesMerica]

My Dog was Just diegnosed with cancer and ive been a bit down lately but nicco's energy is a huge help

[@robertveigel1204]

8:05 "IT'S A FKING STATISTIC" 🤣🤣

[@clearnights5867]

0:56 It's just a PFC or LCPL on firewatch in the schoolhouse, not a drill sergeant 😂

[@michaelfairchild]

"There is no such thing as a bad idea" - Anyone whos been in the military.

[@gizmo1802]

The good idea fairy strikes again!

[@jonathonclary1681]

I remember hating doing gate guard, the thing that video missed was that you can stand there for over an hour and nobody comes at all. But as soon as you sit down, like right when your ass touches the seat, they're at the booth honking at you asking why it's taking so long for you to get to them. No sarcasm, no irony, they want to know why you aren't checking their ID yet.

[@sonarshep2814]

Bro what wakes me up in 2023 is while I'm asleep in my rack, underwater, and I hear "fire, fire in the foward compartment, class charlie fire from _____" from a loudspeaker right next to me and then all hell breaks loose. LMAO

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

I don't know, i kinda like the Tim Hortons Combat Uniform. The desert camo baseball cap with Tim Hortons across the front and the red canadian flag on the side. Tan Cargo pants, with the polo shirt, and combat runningshoes. They also got the standard combat helmet, and a green combat body armor vest. Best uniform ever.

[@yomama269378]

2:21 i had that happen to my right foot when i had to have a cast on to fix my tendon. i wound up with a couple inch deep crack in my foot for like 2 weeks or so shit sucks and its sooooooo painful.

[@NateDaGreat_TTV]

love these

[@brycefreeden4081]

marines have best tikitoks when it comes to gone wrong or fails and BLUE CRAYON FROM CRAYOLA MMMMMMMMMMM

[@agra3804]

9:20 she's Brazilian. The first woman that completed the spec. Op. Course. Here, they have to pass through the same things that a man's gonna pass. She's amazing.

[@Aggress1veBagel]

4:19 “FUUUUU” got me 💀

[@Trophi89]

We gone a sleep here tonight, Ohkay 😂 , literally had me crying and laughing at the same time. lol The 11B life hits different yeeee 🤪

[@Datboidr00]

Please do more military tiktoks these are funny asl thank you for always making me laugh in ever video you’re awesome ❤

[@shanesimpson3455]

Got 5 days MUP's ( Men Under Punishment ) for getting so sunburnt that I blistered, back 1982 while serving onboard HMAS Torrens.

[@erikbaumann5444]

The thud when he hit the tractor is priceless 😂😂😂

[@longriflem14]

Yo Nikko!! Love the Vids bro. Wish i had you in the Stan. I went Marines,Army,AF the back to Army. Retired Last year. Those devils drinking them chemlights, like they back on Gate 2 street on Okinawa after 3 weeks in the field..

[@snimo2851]

Love your videos Nikko!

[@scubadymond1324]

Any tradesman can feel the vocabulary change, that shit happens quickly too. Lol

[@heavytrooper2402]

No joke, I went to basic with this chick 4:57 she was a good person and did well overall. She just wasnt loud. Mostly due to the fact that english was her second language. I cant remember if she was national guard or active but I do remember that she joined to get her citizenship or somthing like that.

[@giashah2637]

9:22 "Extreemly intelemegence"

[@xxBlackxWindowxx]

I can’t hide myself, I literally watch your vids when my Navy bf is doing work and I can’t talk to him.

[@Gabe-nx1bz]

I LOVE YOUR VIDS Nikko

[@thewolfman1721]

Those cots are some POG shit. Infantry still sleeps on the ground🤙🏼

[@SuperPotatoeFries]

Love the videos keep up the good contnet bro!

[@MilitaryPlayer141]

Bro actually got his ass kicked out the plane 😂

[@imorangejuice3592]

At 4:19 it within itself was a perfect meme. The laughing straight to you going "fuuuuck" that shit was funny.

[@airsoftmike2808]

Great video Nikko keep up the good work✊🏻🤘🏻✊🏻

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Always 🙌 which fail did you like the most?

[@Adam-om9hu]

Damn that sleeping soilder in 2023 was a pretty boy. Makeup on, pampered eyebrows and on point hair😂

[@Reidswartz]

What’s up I love when you post

[@neckking3]

This is a fire video❤❤💥💥💥

[@farhadwardak4707]

The fucking Kowalski cut, I can’t breathe 💀

[@LW-boxing-LA]

I love his reactions he a funny funny guy

[@nikkoortizshorts]

He really is 😂

[@RavenTwoActual]

That big toe had a face. You know that soldier caught hell.

[@AAF_productions1]

Wooo I love the military TikToks vids

[@AthenaRose374]

I love your videos Nikko😂

[@SmudgyContent]

My stepdaughter wanted to know which branch to join. Told her my mom was in the air force for 6yrs. She asked why Air Force. Said it’s Thè easiest branch in the military and sign up for couple years and have all them military discounts…

[@Blondieee-ke5ez]

Bestest content anywhere and everwhere ❤🤸‍♂️

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Truth!

[@Mod0308]

Me and my hubby used to grapple….he knew if I got my thighs around his neck he was DONE. LITERALLY almost put him out one time 😂

[@wolfkat3732]

Yo your vids are so fire always!

[@SammyR30]

You know it’s a great day when Nikko posts 🎉❤

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Always!

[@jg3_75]

The marines with the Chem lights bro I shouldn’t be surprised but I fuckin screamed!!!

[@mcethancord]

i first served 4 years in the Navy as an SK and did a lateral transfer to regular Army as an Infantryman for 4 years i still cant look at myself in a mirror lol

[@Llew70]

Korea, my first duty station... You adjust to the smell in around a month. I didn't realize until after I left there, that it was where I should have volunteered to stay another year.

[@FranticHog]

Great video bro!

[@Cheezsoup]

In the BA (British army). I was doing guard at Wathgill camp. A MOD plod (basically a policeman who worked for the MOD) was doing the actual looking at IDs checking registrations etc all I was doing was standing there, as the MOD plod said " just look as warry as fuck", trying not to fall asleep (24 hour guard after two days and nights with no sleep) .Not even as much as your gate guard (aboUt 4minutes).

[@Carpycarp_fishing]

In the British army we get for inspection every two weeks and that is a fact

[@lindsyfish6704]

I got lucky, I learned about starting siphons from doing water changes in fish tanks growing up. If someone in your family is a big car guy during your childhood, you learn like this. Fish poop water is way better than fuel, imo.

[@annabethcullen6887]

My brother is a IT in Georgia right now and he told us that they had an issue with the dude in basic who decided to be a great idea to touch someone in the drill sergeant walked him through metal water bottle in his private parts and said you wanna touch someone touch me I dare you to. Then for AIT 2 people snuck out they hadn’t phased up yet so they had to wear their uniforms went to a mall and got caught by sergeants who were there with family. He ended the story with see it’s true every where I go there’s a dang sergeant there. Why can’t they leave us alone

[@Uv4793gUbmis]

"He identifies as a race car" got me rolling 😂😂😂

[@nor_cal_jeeper7073]

Bro bout to identify as a Tesla in a second 😂

[@samuraijokester9907]

For those who don’t know, the soldier comparing mag lengths (and apparently Nikko did this as well) was being a dumbass and not aligning the mags properly to the same height, so one look longer than the other

[@jefftacco5926]

my dad was in the navy for 7 years then switched to the army or 8 years

[@Munin2119]

evrey time he uplodes im hyped