No, the Patriarchy Didn’t Set the Beauty Standards

[@Dougherty_DozenFan]

I finally quit following the “beauty” standards. I started dressing modestly again and I started cutting down on makeup. I feel so much better than I did before. ❤

[@MsGeoffh]

And possibly become more attractive in the process.

[@Idontcarewhatyouclaim]

❤ i look like Mimi from Drew Carey show if i wear makeup fullface😂 Thank GOD my mom was a butch lesbian who never taught me makeup. 😂

[@MsGeoffh]

@@Idontcarewhatyouclaim I don't know who they are sorry.

[@showtime1235]

yessssss same with me :) never felt prettier

[@NunyaNomi]

Same thanks to 2020

[@wb5408]

my husband often says, "Why do people spend so much money to make themselves look WORSE??!?"

[@kd6558]

Most of the procedures and fillers, Botox etc don't make women look better.

[@zCREz]

That is exactly what i often say. 🤝

[@Megan_Truly]

same. my husband esp. hates the eyelashes and eyebrow trends. He's like "it all looks so fake, it's hideous"

[@billiechristine4034]

My husband says something very similar. He also really hates filter, that stuff really weirds him out.

[@demonvictim]

​@@billiechristine4034 exactly guys are extremely supportive if you want to exercise because its for health. Imagine what a husband will think if their wife died from a botched bbl that he desperately denied.

[@shawnrichards3482]

Most men don’t even know of the existence of 90% of these procedures. It’s a huge leap of logic to suggest that they are the ones pressuring anyone to get them.

[@Patson20]

It always goes back to the root problem with women.....they don't know what accountability means. Any problem they have is because or someone else.

[@Filmlover382]

So true😅

[@ilias856]

@iamme25yago Their words too.

[@erichuynh8756]

Literally, like my female coworkers tell me I need to pay MORE attention to when women change their looks so that I can complement them. Sorry, it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I don’t notice bc it’s not important to me. But sure, I’m the one who’s setting the standard. The guys who can barely remember your previous hairstyle pressured you into getting Botox. 😂😂😂

[@LadyKC67]

@JulesJunk women can be absolutely awful. I prefer the company of men 9 times out of 10 because they aren’t competitive like women are. Guys don’t care if you’re wearing last season’s shoes or if your purse matches your belt, and they really don’t care if you go out without makeup on and your hair in a pony tail. It sounds like you had a narcissistic mother. I did too. She had my sister and I on diet pills as teenagers so we wouldn’t get fat. Any flaw in our appearance was magnified 100x and nagged at repeatedly until we fixed it. She often picked out my clothes for me because “You want to look your best don’t you? You’re a reflection on ME.” 🙄🤬 And people wonder why I prefer friendships with men. 🙄

[@hcn3651]

My mama always told me men just want their women to be clean and healthy. Everything else was window dressing to signal to other women their status on the social hierarchy

[@docsavage8640]

💯 it's women trying to impress their peers and rivals

[@MrLato2000]

Can Confirm 95%+ of Men Hate Fake Eyelashes and Surgeries Like BBL's or Boob Jobs or Injections.

[@marcuscato9083]

I think your mom was right. Women seem to get overly competitive with other women.

[@dorcasfordjour7232]

​@@marcuscato9083its a tale as old as time.

[@brianthesnail3815]

Really interesting that some years ago my eldest son went to a prom in his last year of school. The girls had spent ages and a lot of money getting ready, hair, dress, makeup. The boys had just put on a dinner suit (tuxedo) and were more interested in getting to the drinks. They more or less ignored the girls.

[@mmztimelord]

My wife attracted me with her bubble personality, genuine laugh and positive attitude towards life. NOT superficial looks. Yes, she has a nice figure, but by no means "Supermodel" or "Model" shape. Just an average woman, curves in good places. Mainly she and I try to be healthy and somewhat fit. We do okay for 50+. The fact that she STILL laughs easily, loves unconditionally after over 20 years and wants to spend time with me regardless of what we are doing fuels my never ending love for her.

[@janicefinch3563]

You still find her attractive even though she's much older? Most conservative guys act like a woman's value dries up when she gets older.

[@brianschuetz2614]

@@janicefinch3563How many conservative guys do you know personally? Or are you basing this off the internet? Remember, the internet isn't reality. The "Whatever" podcast doesn't necessarily reflect the opinion of the average "conservative" male. I'm a conservative male. My wife is in her 40s. She doesn't have a perfect body, though I find her appealing. I don't exactly have a bodybuilder physique myself. I fell in love with my wife for the same reason OP did his, she has a great personality. She has a good sense of humor, she's caring, positive and friendly. She's patient with me and respectful.

[@janicefinch3563]

@@brianschuetz2614 I live in the South so I'm around a lot of conservative men (many older married men). However you never know how they must really feel about their wives. For all I know they could be married to an older woman but still thirsting after 20 somethings when she's not around. So when I see conservative men online talking about women's value drying up with age, it makes me think this is what conservative men must actually feel (even if they aren't saying it out loud in real life). Online people are still real people behind the screen. The founder of the red pill subreddit was a republican governor. He wrote posts talking negatively about older women under his pseudonym (though I doubt he ever expressed those opinions to real women in his life).

[@wandertree]

@finch3563 There are stupid, superficial men on every side of every issue. That doesn't mean Conservative men in general act that way. In fact, Conservative men are far more likely to get married and stay married than liberal men who are far more likely to be either pansies or players. Been married to my Conservative guy for 26 years after marrying at 22. Building a life and family together is more typically a Conservative value.

[@crusaderACR]

​​@@janicefinch3563 Conservative men (actual conservatives) believe in a life-long commitment to a single woman. Those redpill guys are conserving nothing, returning to nothing. It's contrary to our Christian heritage. Quick divorce and open marriages (cheating) is supposed to be a leftist thing. Now, I should note that while "thirsting" after 20 somethings is certainly wrong (considered a form of adultery in traditional Christianity), appreciating beauty isn't. You can't expect any human to find unattractive what's physically appealing to that person. This is regardless of age. Ogling and such isn't permissible, though, but be patient. Point out that that's too far when you think it is. A good husband learns to look for his wife's inner beauty and look for the charms in her imperfections since day one. Even as decades pass and she wrinkles and loses her form, you look for the grace and wisdom that only a long life can provide. Most conservative married men never cheat and keep an active sex life all throughout. Nearly 100% if also very religious. I hope this eases your worries a bit. May God bless you.

[@Wyledgirl30]

I’m a nurse. Cosmetic surgery is still surgery. I once cared for a woman in her late 60s who had a face lift and almost died from complications because her plastic surgeon told her to restart her blood thinners a day after surgery. She was on blood thinners because of a heart condition that put her at risk for stroke (I was so mad at the surgeon!!! Forget the stroke risk in such a big surgery for a minute; blood thinners are no joke! In what universe is it a good idea to perform a completely elective, unnecessary, invasive surgery on someone with that kind of medical history? Someone did this for the money without caring about the consequences and I will remember this case for the rest of my life.). Her whole face/neck/throat swelled up and turned black from internal bleeding. We had to intubate her (stick a tube down her throat so that she could breathe) and start pumping her full of platelets transfusions in the hopes that she wouldn’t die. The poor woman didn’t respond to sedation medicine and she was stone cold awake THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING! I talked her through staying calm and monitored her from the smaller hospital that is worked at while we transported her to a trauma center 45 minutes away, praying to God the whole time to please keep her from bleeding to death. My heart broke for her! This woman was physically and emotionally traumatized. If she survived, she’d have been lucky to still have a face. All in the pursuit of beauty and eternal youth.

[@paulbrown9328]

That’s sad, I really wish people would accepted their bodies and don’t take surgery. Surgery should really only be used for emergency.

[@RayRay-mt5se]

Oh my goodness 😢. Did you do a follow up? Is she okay now?

[@demonicflame632]

you can't just leave it on a cliffhanger. is she dead?

[@stevensdefenseacademyllc7898]

​@@RayRay-mt5seShe probably has no idea how things turned out. The woman was transported to another medical facility. Even health care workers don't have access to people's medical records if they aren't directly involved in their care.

[@thvtsydneylyf3th077]

do you agree that women are toxic towards themselves at the highest level? It must be chaos around other nurses i'd imagine. Eveywhere there is a group of women working together gossip and backstabbing always joins at some point.

[@cajbaf]

Not only do women make other women feel bad about looks but I have also noticed that on any subject that you don't agree with them on, the first thing they do is attack your looks. It's crazy to me that your looks would have anything to do with you not agreeing on a subject.

[@britanykunzler632]

Dang this is so true!

[@lamaziqali2121]

Do you know how many times boys have attacked my looks? Sometimes for no reason at all.

[@dawittucker8749]

Attack there looks too. Especially if they got cosmetic surgery.

[@lamaziqali2121]

@@iamme25yago my point is that such behaviour comes from both girls and boys. Did i ever say they were justified? No. I argued the point that women in general are more likely to make fun of your appearance, which, in my case, wasn't true. Of course there are girls that say or do very cruel things like u said, and im sorry that happened to you. And i didn't deny that girls can behave badly as well.

[@jurassicthunder]

​@@lamaziqali2121in general women are cruel to eachother more than men are to eachother. ours is simple, you disrespect someone and you'll get a whooping. in the female world it's a mind game. if a man sats a disrespectful thing to a woman it's usually a pussy move.

[@CBaller2020]

I landed my husband of 25 years wearing a track suit, no make-up, and my hair in a ponytail. I've been a tomboy all my life, and I am competitive as hell, but I'm also a traditional wife. No one is telling these girls to do this crap. It's all based on THEIR insecurities.

[@koul3709]

You are very wrong honey. I’m so glad you never had to deal with men negging you your entire life, but I used to be a confident and vivacious young woman who loved her body. Until, an ex told me that his friends thought I looked pregnant in my Halloween pictures…Man, 10+ years later I still make sure I have a six pack that no one can EVER call fat and pregnant. Men would analyze my body SO a MUCH, all throughout my 20’s-I felt so pressured to keep a perfect figure so nobody could try to gain power over me and call me fat and ugly. Never have I ever been derided by a woman, other than in literal elementary and middle school, which doesn’t even count because we were all children. All the men in around me act like they’re entitled to my body, hotness, attention, and that they should dictate how I live my life. I have fun giving them the middle finger. Your experience is not at all exclusive.

[@Erosophany]

@@koul3709 As someone who has also faced a lot of ridicule from men about my appearance, why on earth do you care about what trashy people think? You're still falling into the fallacious logic that Brett was challenging in the video; your self-esteem rests in the opinions of others, specifically people who are clearly not worth your time. I've also been ridiculed viciously by other women... Your experience does not invalidate the vast majority of women's negative experiences... Which seem to be perpetuated by other women.

[@rami3164]

@@koul3709You think you’re special? Bro men have that too but worse. Women have entire movements on loving your body and if you’re a fat dude you get laughed at. Litteraly since I was 13 I’ve been working out because I was so insecure and a lot of it was also jokes from girls. You hear that? GIRLS called me fat and ugly. Everyone’s insecure don’t say men cause it

[@lukasb728]

@koul3709 You say you were confident, but one small comment about you looking pregnant in your halloween pictures sent you off on a 10+ year insecurity trip? Something doesn't add up here. It's your own insecurities, that were there before the comments, that sent you on that trip.

[@keysncoffee7733]

May I say that “I landed my husband” is such a great way to mention your spouse 😊. I’m sure you’re both proud of having each other.

[@orishababernadette4506]

I love how Brett openly talks about her nose insecurity, I've struggled with the same insecurity for about 10 years and it was fueled by girls who bullied me for my big nose in high school calling me names like oxygen consumer(mind you I only went to single-sex schools) and watching shows like botched by nature on E! made me want to get a nose job so bad, I'm still on a very long journey to acceptance and when I watch videos like this, I love myself a little bit more.

[@oldsoulbiz3526]

All guys care about is your femininity and beautiful, welcoming smile. That's it.

[@screwedupmystic2597]

I'm insecure about my big pickle

[@janicefinch3563]

​@@oldsoulbiz3526 They also care about your youth and body.

[@brianschuetz2614]

@dupmystic2597I don't know why a vegetable would give you insecurities.

[@joshcarter-com]

What is wrong with Brett’s nose? I just don’t see it. I spent the whole video wondering what she’s talking about.

[@justcallmebard]

How many men do you know that even notice when a woman has gotten a haircut or is doing her makeup differently? most of us are teased or yelled at because we don't notice, and yet somehow we also get blamed for forcing women to do the things we don't even notice them doing?

[@NonLegitNation2]

especially the eyelashes. i don't know of any man who has ever said, you look so much more beautiful because you have big obnoxious eyelashes, oh and I find your 3-inch fingernails attractive too.

[@elisedasvin170]

Well YES !! This IS actually common sense ! 😆 My husband loves that I'm elegantly dressed, with femininity and such, and he loves that I take care of myself basically... But he never notices if I get a haircut : he's pleased with the whole person he sees everyday and would never want any artificial twist to his wife... 😅 That's normal and quite the standard in men, I think. ☺️

[@deadworld953]

@@elisedasvin170 Then why is it normal and quite standard in women to blame everyone but yourselves for the problems you create?

[@johndoe-dj3iy]

@@NonLegitNation2 oh yes those lashes really make me unable to take them seriously and the long nails are disgusting just thinking about how dirty they likely are underneath compared to normal short nails.

[@kallioperobling3359]

I've been walking around with dark red hair for 3 weeks now and if I wasn't married for 20 years with teenaged sons I might be a little hurt. I've learned to assume they won't notice. Its just a guy thing

[@sweetdreamweaverart]

My daughter had a another girl come up to her in a club and told her her outfit is not good enough(white t-shirt, blue jeans, and cute white tenny shoes) and she has to take her shopping for proper club outfit. Granted, my daughter was surrounded by a group of guys she worked with and this young woman was with a group of girls. My daughter just shrugged her shoulders and blew it off as she had guys attention and this girl didn't. And no make up too.

[@QAZ-OMEN]

Chances are if layered in makeup and dressed like a "10" , there is something deeper covered up to watch out for.

[@coonhound_pharoah]

@@QAZ-OMEN 10s dress in modest clothing, not tramp costumes. A woman in a club dress is, at best, a solid 6. A woman who looks like she just came from church often looks like a 10.

[@sweetdreamweaverart]

My child has always had the girl next door country look. She has never had to dress like a 10 to pull people in. Infact she dyed her natural blonde hair brown, thinking guys would stop hitting on her. It only made girls nicer to her.😅

[@sweetdreamweaverart]

@@coonhound_pharoah So correct. It is also how a young woman carries herself.

[@piyushgyl97]

​​@@QAZ-OMENWhenever I spot a girl dressed up and covered in make up like the typical "Barbie doll" get up. I just get the impression that they are gonna be too stuck up or high maintenance. Personally it makes me feel they are inapproachable and the complete antithesis of "the girl next door"

[@yoitsgabs]

Women and social media perpetuate the beauty standards- botox, filler, surgery, etc have become so ubiquitous and god forbid you say anything about them and you’re called a pick me girl by another woman or you’re accused of not “lifting other women up and tearing them down”

[@rmc8100]

Social media is truly a poison. I quit for other reasons as a man

[@tsrocks2029]

As a woman, the cruelest comments about my appearance always came from other women.

[@sigridj9459]

Men just ignore you, women will give unsolicited advice

[@rami3164]

As a man, the people who have made fun of my body the most are women

[@KrisGill-n6o]

For me it’s always been men

[@kingkohli4952]

Ya sure it is just men and you are an innocent angel@@KrisGill-n6o

[@kunya16]

Women tell me I look like a man. Men say nothing or say I look good (mostly the former).

[@zaxlee01]

Men: we repeatedly told them not to do plastic surgery, heavy make up. Women: *do surgeries, fill their buts, eyelashes etc etc etc*. Men: why did you do this? Women: oh you know for me, i thought i would look better if i do this, i did not like that etc. Men: Alright cool, we will stay the same and age naturally and you will look like a lizard, that is what we are doing i guess. Women 5-10 years later: This was all men's fault.

[@kingkohli4952]

exactly this. Women FOOK up, women benefits she's an empowering woman, but her choices backfires it's society fault, men's fault but hers

[@Fndlord]

Spot ON!

[@LL-wu5ui]

Men: droll over butts and titts Men: but you dont need plastic surgery So what is a women with no butt or tits supposed to do?

[@onederb71nln83]

We treated a Pt. who had an infection from a botched BBL. She luckily didn't die. I don't know what everything looked like after the recovery.

[@lafayetthines4942]

If they don't blame it on us men, whose fault would it be...all their bad choices they blame on us smh

[@rainyblain]

I've never heard a man say 'Wow, she's got great eyelids!' it's just not a thing...

[@Dougherty_DozenFan]

It’s the social media influencers who set the beauty standards, not the patriarchy. I just don’t follow them and I’m pretty happy doing so.

[@docsavage8640]

And before social media existed it was still women trying to impress each other

[@strawberryynoodlesauce]

Ya but men think they're hot, that's why they have so many followers...

[@cecee3480]

You don’t but all the men still do

[@Dougherty_DozenFan]

@@docsavage8640 exactly it’s always been women in media pushing the standards.

[@SeanMendicino-n3d]

Any one of these women could have found a "good man" and been married easily. The reason they feel they have to be models is that they have been chasing after what are called "Chads." They are trying to fix a problem that is fundamentally a market issue. In order to be attractive to women men need to be exceptional in every way - Okay Cupid or Bumble examined data from women's height filters. 80% of Women have height filters, and only 15% included 5 foot Ten inches in their filter. Thus, to even see a man, he needed to be in the top twenty percent tallest, then he needs to be muscular and not super skinny or chubby, then he needs to have his own place - at least over a certain age - all of these things collectively create a polygynous society. Until society recognizes this, the issue will continue.

[@trishdizon4049]

I always hated my Asian nose and told my husband that I wanted to get a rhinoplasty and he was like, "what for? You don't need it". Same with eyelash extensions, nailpolish and makeup, he would always tell me that I didn't need those, he liked me better barefaced and no extras added. After awhile I realized he was right. And I learned to feel confident about my natural self.

[@liveandlearn4445]

Blissful, isn't it?

[@An3moLexi]

Brett's show honestly makes me feel so much better. Honestly shes a great role model for women. As a 15 year old girl, i often feel insecure especially because of the girls i see on the internet especially ones caked in makeup or girls who have stuff done. It feels often like the reason I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that before was because of these reasons but Brett's show always makes me feel so much better about myself especially how she looks so beautiful being completely natural and it makes me happier to see her unique beauty and the confidence she has with it and apply it to myself. love u sm brett

[@izzfl]

I never even knew about those trends because I was not on TikTok.

[@fer0x453]

Based

[@realstray15]

same, havent used that app in 6 months

[@lapris7380]

Same deleted all social media at 14. Best decision ever!

[@talaveraf16]

You’re one of the smart ones. Stay away from that dumpster fire.

[@shanpastaflocka]

Ding ding ding

[@fallenhero3130]

This reminds me of my very first girlfriend 20 years ago who would always wear heels every time we did anything and then complain how much her feet hurt. When I told her "Then just wear flats," she would get angry and say she was doing it for me, for a beauty standard that we men had created. My opinion: yes, wearing heels can make a woman look nice, but I don't want anyone suffering in pain on my account.

[@willdegra317]

You avoided staying with a misandrist,good joh

[@alexvaughan1013]

I'm grossly over-generalising here. But it's funny how women always want tall men, but then wear high heels that sometimes make them close to their man's height, or taller. And when their feet hurt, they complain that it's men's fault!

[@el_killorcure]

​​@@alexvaughan1013High heels are to get men hard, nor shorter. Patrick Bateman said it best...

[@billchmelik5697]

Lol, high heels first appeared for aristocratic males!

[@paulmartin2348]

@@billchmelik5697 Wrong. High heals were originally developed for butchers in slaughter houses with large amounts of blood on the floor.

[@sulfer16]

In reference to Brett’s last point, I knew a girl in HS who I didn’t find particularly attractive until we had a project together. As I got to know her a switch instantly flipped and I was into her and she was gorgeous.

[@bassmunk]

This is so true!

[@theprodigalson4003]

Personality makes the beauty. It’s the way you carry yourself always, I’ve seen it in both the women I fancy and the men I respect

[@4RILDIGITAL]

So true how women often enforce these unrealistic beauty standards upon each other. The constant chase for the "perfect" look is indeed destructive. We should promote self-love and reject toxic beauty standards. Our uniqueness and natural beauty should be celebrated, not changed due to societal pressures.

[@TedEhioghae]

Also, artificial stuff isn't allowed if you want to want to enter Heaven. Like makeup, fake hair, dyed hair, fake nails, nail polish, fake eyelashes, piercings, etc... Sin is sin and it's regardless of gender. That's how sins work. You have to be natural.

[@inqmusician2]

@@TedEhioghae Who gives a shit? If you want to make your hair red, while you were brown-haired, go for it.

[@inqmusician2]

But it can swing to the other side of the pendulum, making the ugly appear beuatiful. That happened with the influx "plus-sized" people, that are not really self-aware, lazy and generally unhealty people. By unhealthy, I mean literally unhealthy. Various heart diseases, diabetes, and what the fuck, GNOME? why is my keyboard is so erratic?

[@jasonhammett8275]

Yeah and if you want to remove your penis... Go for it ​@@inqmusician2

[@michaelstrachan1185]

In the UK the pretty much banned all lads mags, the put an end to page 3 in the sun. There is zero print media aimed towards men so where is society or the patriarchy telling them this? It's the same when they say society tells women they can't have powerful jobs, Who?! Who is saying this as since the 90's all I remember is stuff like Nike ads etc saying women can do anything so who is telling them they can't? Oh it's the feminists in the same way as women in fashion re beauty standards

[@matthewshields]

Most guys I know wouldn't care if a girl was in sweat pants, a hoodie, with no makeup. Granted while some guys are judgemental, the worst things I've heard about a woman has come from other woman.

[@amylaws]

I am a woman and I agree

[@G2rtTr]

this might sound misoginistic but as long you have a nice personality and you are kind to me and have a functional vagina then we are cool to go. The makeup and all other plastic surgeries I never understood them. Im a man at 20 and i also have those forehead wrinkles when I raise my eyebrows,maybe Im weird but i think they look cool. I dont know what it means but my dad also has them.

[@Nightfighter82]

If a girl looks really cute in that, it's a win. Because usually she has no clue how good looking she really is, so it's not her entire personality. She actually had to develop one.

[@neinne6693]

Depens, if i go on a Date i expect my Partner for the Night to dress up, i do it too, but totally fine when we are at Home. P.s: My Hoodies, i dont even know how many i "lost" over the Years =(

[@Yes-ms6po]

Meh, that is not true. I wear hoodies to school and other places and I rarely ever have a guy ask me out... if a guy asks me out it's usually someone twice my age. All the guys at school go for women with fake nails, lashes, and makeup on their face. A guy even remarked to me that I dress masculine because I wear hoodies.

[@mariedyangelina]

Loved this episode! I remember 14 years ago complaining about my cellulite 😂 in front of my husband, thank God he listened and Immediately said “I don’t see what you see” 😍 I just see you. And believe me, that made me feel relieved and loved, but also I realized how obsessed we can be about our bodies. If we try to stay healthy and presentable that’ll be perfect for them, whatever you do beyond that it is just for yourself.

[@dillonc7955]

Seeing someone obsess over extreme beauty standards this badly is ironically a turn off. I couldn't imagine getting married to someone and seeing thousands being spent on something that reflects insecurity and illegitimacy.

[@Squirleypoo]

But these girls will deflect and call you insecure because "you could never get a girl like her", the irony being most or many men don't want girls like that

[@kallioperobling3359]

You'll never get anywhere on time

[@DivinesLegacy]

This is my mom, she gets tons of surgeries and injections and wants plastic surgery done. My dad doesn’t even know what any of that stuff is, she is 100% being influenced by girls on social media and celebrities.

[@enava3398]

@@DivinesLegacyva

[@kmh870]

I agree for the most part but in my experience, a lot of men who say they like the no makeup look actually mean they prefer the minimal/natural makeup look over heavy makeup. I've had to explain this one to my boyfriend. I was actually wearing makeup on our first dates, it was just subtle makeup.

[@Psychiatricnerd]

Yes exactly! A little enhancement of our natural features is the key. Takes 5 mins or less but is a game changer.

[@Yes-ms6po]

Men claim to like natural women, but it is always the women with fake nails, blowouts, and fake eyelashes that have hoards of men surrounding them. However if all women band together and stop putting make up on, men would still like women, and the standard of beauty would be much lower for women to attain. No longer would the fake women be getting all the men as she could no longer compete on an unfair playing field by altering herself constantly.

[@MonkeGeorge]

But that gives even more credence to the notion that the beauty standards didn't go as far as they did because of men. If men are so ignorant as to not know a natural look compared to a clean face, then how as a group could they mastermind the more niche trends? Well, niche to most men anyway; to many women following online trends that gain popularity in their online communities I'm sure it's more "mainstream" by that point.

[@josephharrison5834]

Totally understand.

[@jonagreen7323]

Yeh pretty much, took me ages to figure that out because I thought they just didn't have makeup on lol. Saying that some girls just look good without makeup, I honestly can't tell much of a difference when me wife wears makeup or not but then again my eyesight is shit.

[@saraheeee]

My husband always tells me women look better with less makeup! I agree. I just wear liquid eyeliner cat eye. That’s all I know how to do.

[@nickfoster848]

You’re a keeper. My girlfriend is even ten years older and I still think and tell her she looks better with less makeup.

[@ericgorman9942]

I'm so damn tired of being blamed as a man for things I wasn't even aware they were doing...What the hell is wrong with taking ownership of your own bad descisions?

[@lex_i5039]

The funny thing is that is very true. My boyfriend does not like how I look when I am wearing makeup, he likes how I naturally look like. The funnier thing is that I don’t even wear a lot of makeup, it’s very natural and light and well blended. But still I feel more comfortable wearing makeup when going out, it’s just us and our insecurities.

[@Fartiosa]

He doesnt like the thought of you getting more attention with it. Not necessarily that you look better without it

[@yota8325]

​@Fartiosa huh. you do realize that there are genuinely men out there that don't like the look of make up it ain't got nothing to do with worrying about other men. They will look regardless. Women are generally more impressed by make up than men

[@meindinyonimi6500]

@@FartiosaI would like to know are you her BF? Do you know her BF personally? Or are you a man ? If you aren’t /no is the answer to all 3 questions, then I guess you know what that means 🥲

[@NiRudraws]

​@meindinyonimi6500 I was about to ask something similar. Just out here making stuff up.

[@anjalisak8142]

​@@yota8325 does he look at that when he watches porn? Men say this, but statistically, most popular, followed and liked ig models and pornstars re women with tons of makeup and surgery. Most men dont follow natural local 5s (rating is stupid but im just using it to get my point across). They look at and lust after and admire women with bigger lips, butts and boobs, tiny waist, and ao on. Natural or not.

[@Troglodyted]

I like "girl next door" look. My ex would get mad at me for not noticing her makeup that she supposedly put it for me. Every time i told her that i love her without make-up. She was mad and i was confused.

[@AravindR-fi9cw]

Glad she's an ex.

[@revena438]

I’m super insecure about my nose. I have a very large bump on my bridge. But thanks to my fiance he has definitely helped me accept it. You definitely are correct that most of the people that point out my flaws are women.

[@Wyledgirl30]

Any surgery can put you at risk for dying from a complication. Anyone who would prefer that you put your life at risk to change something about your appearance is a red flag in my book. Your nose is a part of who you are. It’s beautiful because it’s yours. Look at Jennifer Grey who played Baby in “Dirty Dancing.” She had a nose job after that movie and no one recognized her, so she barely worked again after that. She was beautiful before, she was beautiful afterwards, but it changed her entire look. Stay you, babe! No matter what, you are awesome how you are.

[@alicynwonderland6499]

Your fiance is a keeper! I was in the same boat until I realized there are complications, like death or pain. I think pain for life is worst than death.

[@DianaThermopolis]

Girl!! I have a naturally small nose and it’s just the most boring thing about me, I love people who have special and different noses. They add so much personality to a face. I’m sure you look absolutely beautiful!!

[@arielslack7015]

I was very very as a young child very very insecure about my nose as well and it was a big thing for me because people would make fun of me because they say oh your nose is big and ugly. It’s not like ours, but once you realize that you are the standard, and nobody can tell you how to feel about your looks but you you kind of change the way you think about yourself

[@r5t6y7u8]

I'm a 56 year old man and I don't recall EVER hearing a guy talk about a woman's nose. Ever.

[@Self_Cancelled]

I had girls in middle school constantly harassing me because they were convinced that I had gotten a nose job and wouldn't believe that my nose just looks like it does. I thought it was ridiculous that anyone would think a 12 year old would have had a nose job, but I guess now we're doing way worse to kids surgically. Kind of funny that I married someone with a large nose, because I like the look of people with strong noses and his sister had her nose fixed because she didn't like having their family's nose.

[@theprodigalson4003]

Imperfection is perfection

[@StayArtsy]

Something similar has happened to my sisters and I: we have naturally plump lips, but some people are always asking us if we got a lip job....like hello? Did they forget that you can have some stuff naturally?

[@moorua]

Men: "We want natural looks without make up" Women: "More plastic and make up it is then"

[@commentator1984]

😂

[@yourmom-po6xx]

I agree. Natural beauty. Everyone is beautiful the way they are. Just remember everyone is not for you. So not everybody sees every other person as beautiful as others. Life is perspective.

[@nobodythenobody9779]

women - "we dont dress to impress men" also women - " its mens fault for our beauty standards" also why do they always talk about a beauty standard like men dont have one to

[@joelwillems4081]

Perhaps the plastic and make up is there way to disguise their natural looks? That's what I always took it as meaning.

[@Lol-nu1uc]

Yup 😂

[@DrCantinero]

In our group of friends from our kid's school, 2 other moms have had plastic surgery, I have no idea what they looked like before surgery, but all the other moms keep telling them how beautiful they are now, I have asked the husbands about it and they hate the fact that their wives underwent surgery because "they were already beautiful and could have used the money in more important things". So guys, convince your significant other that she doesn't need plastic surgery.

[@bearifiablepau2095]

My 17 yo niece Bri got a nose job (parents paid) and it didn't go well. :( I'm saddened by the fact for many reasons and I pray to the Lord to give her wisdom and fortitude bc at that age and in your 20s looks are such a sensitive topic .... I hope to be able to provide some support as many women gave me support growing up with my insecurities. I don't see her very often bc she lives in another town, but I pray the Lord gives me guidance to be a light in her live.

[@bearifiablepau2095]

btw I'm glad Brett did not go along with the nose job; I remember being really insecure about my nose as well... it's a common thing for young girls.

[@elidagjika8741]

'It's men's fault!!!' *...The Kardashians Left The Chat*

[@marilyn96]

About 12 years ago, I went with some friends to the ice rink, we just started our university life. We were a few girls and a few guys and one of them, I still remember what he told us, that he doesn't understand why girls wear make-up and prefer when the girls would be make-up free. Right now I live in Korea and beauty standards are really high, a lot of people especially foreigners come here to get beauty surgeries, but a lot of Koreans do it and get the same procedure and look the same. There is a district in Seoul with a lot of these clinics... But I think It' 's because of idols etc the problem here is being beautiful helps to get a job

[@rosethorn0232]

The pressure is still coming from other women though, for the most part. I've seen lots of street interviews in Korea where the women all talk about being on a diet permanently and how it's ideal to weigh less than 50kg regardless of your height. But the men always say they want a girl who eats well (meaning someone who stays healthy). The more I think about it the more female pressure makes perfect sense. Male kpop groups typically have female only fan bases, and yet the guys are getting increasingly effeminate, wearing full faces of makeup and getting so so skinny. Compare male idols now to male idols from about 20 years ago and it's shocking how much different they look. The female beauty standards are even spilling over into what's considered ideal for a male celebrity, and men advertise things like makeup and skincare to their female audiences.

[@nathangrey6236]

I find it funny how the stans of these idols would be like "NOOOO MY IDOL DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THEIR FACE" THEIR FEATURE CAN'T BE DONE BY PLASTIC SURGERY

[@marilyn96]

@@rosethorn0232 they do have a lot of pressure. My friends are the same even the men I had a colleague he had a good figure, tall, muscular and he said that he wanted to lose weight…. A lot of people wants to lose weight that they don’t need to lose and in my case I try to gain weight but I have a hard time. a lot of them do look like very feminine and similar visuals… I don’t even know the new bands except if I hear a lot about them when I go outside or my friends talk about them. 90s,2000s, until now are very different times For the make up as long as they look natural hide a spot and if it’s just for photos or tv it’s think it’s okay… I went with a guy friend at olive young yesterday I never pay attention at the man section but they do have a lot of cosmetics products for them. It’s a big market

[@marilyn96]

@@nathangrey6236 😅😅😅

[@hexi9595]

Korea is an outlier. Beauty standards there are crazy high that whay you think looks good, to them (both men and women) looks mediocre.

[@_Kiin]

The most ludicrous situation I was in concerning a discussion about female beauty standards was during my old office job. When the topic came up because one of my female colleagues was planning a nose job it was only me and one other guy with 7 women in the office. Long story short, within 10 minutes ALL 7 women banded together and were telling me and the other guys what our preferences are, and that we are wrong about what we are saying. My colleage and I gave up very quickly. It was impossible to make them understand anything. I felt like my head was going to explode because of the sheer lunacy of it all. Imagine telling someone, who hates fish, sushi is their favourite food simply because you say so and you know better about their own preferences than they do. You can't win such a discussion. I am convinced that this is either a mental illness, or a biological defect. I cannot explain it any other way.

[@owadziatko]

I have only heard bad comments about my appearance,what i should or could change with my face,my hair,my outfits from other women. Never from a man.

[@BeatlesNinja]

A pure example of "women putting pressure on women, not men" is our hair. My entire life, I have heard that grey hair makes you look so old and that it should be dyed and hidden. Women told me this. My own mother does this. She is naturally grey at 50+ years and religiously dyes her hair so no one will see her greys. I have been going grey since I was in my early 20's (now nearing 30 😵). I hate my greys and am so insecure about them. My husband loves them. He thinks they're so sexy and constantly quotes Proverbs 16:31 "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." This has been an on going battle between self esteem and standards that other women have set on me. They say "people will think you look old". And I have had to question, "what is wrong with looking old?" Women tear each other down for looking old. Yes, there are asshole men who do this, too, but it is women who gossip who affect us moore. My own sister has made comments about how I should just dye my greys if they bother me that much. Instead of questioning why they bother me. Women dye their greys. Thats that. But there is nothing wrong with growing old and showing signs there of, so I have to unravel those expectations set on me by women to uphold certain standards.

[@Diego-ek5id]

Men will consume granny p*orn. We absolutely don't care about so much that women think we do.

[@onederb71nln83]

I think the nails and hair are funny though I don't know a single straight dude that cares (just be clean) and most really hate the stupid Fing nails.

[@PhoenixsArt]

The truth is that grey hair do make you look old- maybe men don't care but I do care because I do not want to look unkept at my age. If you do not mind- nobody forces you to use haircolor, but don't judge if others do. This is in no way, shape or form a better behaviour.

[@martijnb5887]

My wife does not get grey. At 46 she get some silver lines in her hair. Beautiful!

[@onederb71nln83]

@@PhoenixsArt L take IMO, there's nothing wrong with being old its life. But you do you.

[@emily_duba]

This is literally so relatable because today in class (I'm a highschooler) I overheard some girls at a different table talking about how they always get their eyebrows done especially before big events. I have never got my eyebrows done before (mostly cause they are blonde) and suddenly felt like there was something wrong with me that I don't get them done, especially cause lately I've been feeling l like my eyebrows are not the "perfect" shape. There is no reason I should feel insecure about that but it is almost ingrained in society to feel that way which is really sad.

[@sarahpresnell3509]

I feel the same way. I’ve become insecure of my smaller lips. I never use to care about what my lips looked like! Lip fillers are “in” these days and it suddenly has made me insecure about my natural lips:(

[@trinity0844]

No NORMAL MAN gives a damn what your eyebrows look like; are you a good person, can you keep up a conversation (hint, men hate it when they have to carry the conversation to the point that they sound like babbling idiots), do you enjoy doing a lot of different things? If all were going to talk about is your EYEBROWS any NORMAL MAN is outta there!

[@trinity0844]

@@sarahpresnell3509 I have never met any man ( yes, I am MALE) who wants to kiss two slabs of warm liver! Are your lips kissable if the relationship goes that far? If YES: don't worry about it. If No: Packing them with HOG LARD isn't going to make any difference!

[@r5t6y7u8]

And that came from the girls, not the guys. I went to HS in the 1980s, when everyone busted on everyone, for everything. And I have *never* heard a guy talk about a woman's eyebrows, or her lips.

[@StayArtsy]

Sooo true! As a teen it's sooo hard because everyone wants you to change the way you look.

[@moon_hunter]

I've actually seen men, who insisted on and even paid for botox and lifting for their girfriends/wives. In the first example, the couple broke up eventually, in the second the husband is a control freak. So if my man proposed me such a thing, I would view it as a red flag. On the other hand, my own beloved father recommended me to lose weight, because it affected my mood and health, and he saw it. He also often gas ideas what kind of hairstyle or clothes I should wear, but it is never forced on me.

[@Coolbunny-]

yess, willing to pay for a tummy tuck after giving birth or breast implants, even if the wife doesn't really care

[@DroneStrike1776]

Those aren't real men. Real men don't care about beauty standards. I'll tell you this, most of us dudes care more about sports, cars, guns, tools, than they do about beauty standards. Sure a man would want his significant other to dress nice to dinner, that's only to say "yea I'm with her". Your dad on the other hand, he probably knows you best and is just trying to give you hints on how to boost your confidence up. It's like a father helping his child in practice sports. He'll say that's good, but try this move.

[@SIPEROTH]

I assure you most average Joes out there wouldn't really need their woman getting fillers and botox. If they thought they can't see her unless she "fixes" her face then they wouldn't be with her in the first place. As for men paying for it doesn't mean it was their idea and if they insisted is quite a rare strange thing.

[@moon_hunter]

@SIPEROTH unfortunately I've seen such situations a few times. And it's mostly never about their perception of girlfriends/wives, it's about prestige, in those men's eyes, at least.

[@ailospjellok7475]

@@moon_hunter oh so those people who have been fooled by social media? i feel bad for them and their ignorance, they really got bashed into thinking what matters is where you are in life, not how you are doing in life

[@omomo202]

I’m 45 and sometimes I’m self conscious about my smile lines, but you know what? I’ve earned them! I’ve never heard a man complain about them! I’ve heard men comment about large stomachs but not 11s on your forehead. I’ve only had women comment on my appearance but I think it’s because I’m petite and the women who comment are..not. My mom went through the same thing so jealousy is definitely a part of it. It is DEFINITELY NOT the patriarchy!

[@SIPEROTH]

As a guy i assure you smile lines are from the cutest wriggles a woman can have. Never feel bad about them. A smiling woman is a beautiful thing. Smiles lines many times are sexy. Men hate a cold face woman thousand times more than any smile wriggles.

[@omomo202]

@@SIPEROTH o work at a restaurant and I can agree with you on that! Men love a good smile!

[@firraful]

I'm an English teacher in Brazil and there's a topic of plastic surgeries in the books I teach and I've never had one girl say she didn't want at least one procedure done when they grow up. (most of the older ones have already done or are already planning to) and when they say this the men and boys always have an expression of like "but why?" it's crazy. like I don't like some of my facial features, but I'd neve do any a surgery unless it's for my health.

[@tamsynpace6056]

FACTS! I hardly wear make up - I am greek, have a darker skin tone and just never felt the need to - and my boyfriend loves that about me. He is always saying he is grateful that I don't feel the need to spend hours getting ready and he thinks I am beautiful just as I am. Get you a man who loves you for you, they exist and they are wonderful!!

[@ruthosornio7779]

Honestly, I'm a huge fan of the Vintage natural beauty look ...like enhancing your natural features. I have a nose that could technically need a nose job since it's not typical (long nose with bump) but I get some many compliments on my looks and my hubby says I look so uniquely beautiful. I got bullied as a kid before I grew into my features, so I'm happy that I grew to love myself and take care of myself ☺️

[@agiksf.8998]

Freckled by birth. I hated my freckles all my teeny, tiny years. I was bullied for them for a better part of my adolescence, until I developed self confidence and a 'f** you if you don't like my face' attitude. Now they make them into a fashion trend every couple of years. I caught a glimpse of some absolute idiots on TikTok making tattoos on their faces to look like they have freckles. Mockery of my growing pains.

[@r5t6y7u8]

I'm a 56 year old man and I go NUTS for women with freckles. Woman from my church years ago was slightly overweight, broke, and came from a troubled family. But I loved her bright blue eyes and millions of freckles.

[@ksddancer]

In high school, i had to have a medically needed nose job because i broke my nose, and it really messed up my breathing. I always hated my nose, but when the surgeon said he can give me any nose in the world, i thought, i just want MY nose! So i still have the nose i hated as a kid, but now, as an adult, i know my nose is my own, and I'm glad i didn't get someone elses nose.

[@SusieQ3]

*Just don't do it at all* exactly! It's not necessary. On the rare occasion I even wear makeup, it's from a blush/contour palette, and I apply it with a blush brush, even my "eyeshadow". My husband tells me I'm beautiful everyday, grey hairs, laugh lines and all ❤

[@sophiedewar8615]

Being a college freshman, I’ve learned to live with my minimal insecurities about my body because I realized that the people who actually care and love me don’t care if I’m wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt with my hair up or if I’m dressed up for dinner or a date and that I’m fine just the way I am. It’s validating to hear from my bf when I think I look like utter crap that he loves me and doesn’t care what I look like because to him I’ll always be pretty and perfect. I have to also add that being a tomboy most of my life (and still kinda am, as well as being called a lesbian most of middle school and all of hs) yea I did get weird looks from people in middle school and high school and even one of my friends from middle school did say to me at my high school senior year hoco was: “omg! You’ve got boobs” (cause I wore my baggy uniform outer layers for years over my uniform polos). It was a laugh, not. And yes it does still hurt and I was, and still, am suffering from puberty induced chest acne that thankfully has been mostly helped with getting on birth control after years of suffering with it and not liking to wear low cut shirts. But in the long run who cares about what you look like as long as your personality and how you treat people is positive. Sure I’m still trying to look on a more positive personality and outlook from my past troubles. Sometimes doing my makeup for class and dates is fun, but I’ve learned I’m a girl who likes to chill in sweats and not give a fuck about what people think cause we’re all gonna be equal in the end and no amount of trendy beauty standards is gonna change that. Even if it’s a simple bit of concealer and mascara find what’s best for you and enjoy it if it is the makeup or makeup free type, you deserve to appear as you want and that shouldn’t be based what other people think. 🙂😘

[@anakhaps2939]

I never been in a relationship...but the relationships I have seen around me and the men I have encountered strongly gives me the impression that Men just need a partner for them, a good, understanding, supportive one, the one who they can rely on, the one they can just unload their worries and understands them and their missteps. Once they get that they r ready to put the world on ur feet. U love them genuinely rather than try to impress them and they'll love u a thousand times more. They don't need a "beauty " to be their partners they want a beautiful heart.

[@crashmyzebra]

I watch a lot of your content, i wasnt sure why. I agree with most stuff you're saying. Today i realised it helps me be sure of myself when somebody challenges me on this stuff. I never bought into a lot of the woke stuff others did, it never made sense to me but it was hard to pin exactly why. It's because people are afraid to talk about truths without risking offence, and to discuss both sides of the coin. We just accept "facts" like men oppress women, what a horrible lie to teach kids. It's scary how many people just accept this as fact and laugh when you challenge it. This content verbalises a lot of stuff I already knew, its great!

[@automatic5]

men do though. they victimize women so much its literally an epidemic in many countries. but you can choose to be willfully ignorant, i guess. many people hate women, you are certainly not special in that regard

[@Kelseysophia]

I feel for you Brett, I was saving up for a nose job, and any comment about my nose was upsetting to me. I got my dad’s nose, and neither of my sisters did, and it stretches a lot when I smile, so I tried to stop/minimize smiling. Still coping with the insecurity now, but I can tell you, you have a beautiful nose(:

[@myBquest]

I did my nose two years ago. I made a vow to not go under any procedure of that kind again. Guess what? As soon as everyone saw the results of my surgery, women all around me would start talking about all these major plastic surgeries that they want to go through, pointing out at every aspect of themselves that they don't like or feel uncomfortable about. I was like, damn, and I felt I had a low self-esteem! I would feel even more depressed after listening them. So I decided I would not go deeper into conversations about my surgery to other women even if they asked, because I don't think they grasp the amount of mental help I received to even go through the decision of having it done, the work that I'm still doing nowadays, and how much harm they are causing to themselves and to other women in the process when they talk about surgeries as if they are cutting cake. And no, I do not recommend going through plastic surgery. At least my experience was a tough one, I tell you I don't understand how some women put themselves through that amount of pain over and over again.

[@chrisgee90]

I’m 47 and watching this young woman talk about the stuff that actually matters in life is amazing and for the most part men especially my age want natural beauty over lip fillers and heavy makeup or Botox, and fyi your nose miss cooper is perfectly fine and keep up the great work.

[@audreym4070]

23yrs old starting to get smile lines around my mouth and little lines outside my eye from smiling. Noticed them more and more since iv been married and had my son. Excited to see how much joy iv had in my life on my face when im old :)

[@NunyaNomi]

That claymation looking mug trips me out

[@Guus115]

Are you stoned?

[@slavenharkin152]

My ex used to talk about wanting to get veneers, lip fillers, remove a small mole she had, etc. She watched make up tutorials EVERY DAY. She also heavily practiced dangerous ways of dieting. I supported NONE of that. I actively tried to get her to relax with that stuff. I at least got her to eat without risking damage to her body the way she was doing. But most guys don't care about looks to that degree at all. The first girl I fell in love with was because she gave her game tickets to kids who were in front of us in line that were trying to decide which one of them were going to get the prize they wanted so that they could get both, and a bunch of smaller stuff (Found out years later she just didn't want to wait in line any longer so it wasn't out of kindness...). It's not about looks. It's about character. A man can fall in love with a girl who's picking flowers who is showing any form of femininity, and then hands him one with a smile on her face. Men no matter how logical we can be will fall for a fantasy level act by a woman. Women to us are magical.

[@lapris7380]

Thank you!!! I’m so tired of people saying it men or the patriarchy. You don’t have to give into beauty standard. They wouldn’t even exist if we just decided that they were stupid and didn’t matter. You aren’t forced to do most things you just choose to give into it. It like money. The only reason it matters and had the value it had is because we all agree that it has value. I’m 17 and the only person who has “imposed” beauty standards on me is myself and or other women.

[@camilajones2335]

I mean, idk about this one. I've had many boys in the past who had pointed out my insecurities and made me choose to look different because the things they said really stuck to me. I also had girls who bullied me but I've never changed something from my apparence because of them. It's a tricky one and I think it's based on everyone's experience 🥺

[@its_me_the_redhead]

I agree. I was an awkward teen and often wore clothes that weren't in style, but good hearted, good character, and good personality... but guys NEVER paid attention to me in a romantic sense until I started wearing some make up and dressing in a more modern way (not immodest, just not out of date). So I get that a lot of the beauty standards are driven by women but I don't think it is accurate so say they all are. Or if they are set by women, guys reinforce at least some of them.

[@kinka9883]

We can't possibly know how everyone is because there are billions of people, so we can only do so much. Sexism, ironically, (and many other types of bigotry honestly) has both sexes working together to perpetuate it, even if one sex is doing most of the work 😂. In my experience, there are DEFINITELY men who push beauty standards, but most men don't really care (and imo, the man who forces a woman to conform to beauty standards to the point where she becomes insecure & maybe even surgery is brought up, is just a shitty guy in general). And I've heard women calling men GAY for saying they prefer them with natural hair, no crazy nails, less revealing clothing (a.k.a. not having their whole ass out), & no clown make up... Honestly, it's the same thing with some standards for men. Men think women like x,y, & z because another guy told them (or even a woman told them) or they saw it on tv or something, meanwhile while there are some that do, many women say they don't like those things & are intimidated by or avoid them.

[@SIPEROTH]

@@its_me_the_redhead There is a reason for that. First you were young so the "guys" around weren't guys but young teen boys that are very immature and affected by trends etc like any girl is along with many other things. Second just because putting make-up and changing cloths attacks more looks doesn't mean it is necessary the men you will need to pay attention. Third you where probably so inconspicuous or too badly dressed that you weren't noticeable in the same way you wouldn't notice a guy dressed very average between a thousand but your eyes will notice the guy in the fine suit and cool glasses. It doesn't mean that the guy in the fancy suit and cool glasses is definitely your type more than the guy with a t-shirt and jeans but when you just look the guy in the suit is easier to spot while the other isn't. If i walked threw a crowd and some overly sexy dressed woman passed me i will notice her more than the girl passing me with just a casual wear from the other side. But if i had both of them side by side in a room and was asked who of the two i will prefer to go on a date with and had to observe them for a minute then i most likely will just have picked the casual girl. Basically if a clown passed you, you will notice him because well his a clown, it doesn't mean you want the clown.

[@ailospjellok7475]

@@its_me_the_redhead well yeah its impossible to say only one side is responsible, mostly women set the standards and people at the top need to stay at the top by LOOKING good so they gotta perpetuate that, and im not just talking at the top of society, i mean the top of anything one can think of

[@delhen21]

You shouldn't care what other people think about your looks the most important thing is how you feel, if you are fine with the way you look then you shouldn't change but if you think there's something you can do that will make you prettier or happier then you should do it as well. At the end of the day no matter how attractive you are not ever one is gonna find you good looking cause we all have our preferences so just do what makes you feel happy.

[@DrDlane]

Myself and most men i have ever met or known do not like these absurd beauty standards. We all prefer the simplistic natural beauty of women. On the few occasions that require getting all dressed up, we still prefer minimal makeup. And as you pointed out, if we are attracted to you then we think you look wonderful just as you are. Men do not set these standards. Just be yourself.

[@KaitlinHarrison-u7r]

This is so true. I was told my a 30 something year old women when I was in my 20s that I needed to get preventative botox after I told her I didn't think I needed it. She proceeded to tell me how it will not work as well if I didn't start getting it now. I have been getting it since and I am almost 34.

[@FreedomOfSpeechIsAnIllusion]

The last time I wore make up was nearly 11 years ago and even then it was only light. So many of my friends say to me “I can’t believe you’re nearly 40. You look so young, your skin is so clear.” Yeah that’s because I haven’t been caking my face with makeup since I was 13 🤷‍♀️

[@__VR__8]

its genetics

[@angelajason-ik4vd]

The two most impactful negative comment made about my body where made by a “friend” and by a guy. So as far as I am concerned men and woman comment on woman’s looks. Just like woman dress to meet whatever standards they think they need to meet. And these standards can come from men or woman. But I actually I think the beauty/fashion industry are trying to sell all this nonsense so they can make money. And although a lot of woman work in this industry at the top it’s still mostly men. But the only reason they can sell all this nonsense is because we woman are insecure about our bodies.

[@jneilson7568]

There's got to be a healthy balance between looking like a person capable of looking after themselves (and often, by extension, others) and stuffing your body full of cosmetic fillers.

[@LuckkyCanuck]

Most men I know prefer less makeup not more, casual dress not miniskirts and high heels, a lady that fits in on a hiking trail not a fashion runway.

[@cygott2089]

As a man I know very few guys who even recognize makeup. I was around 15/16 when I decided to actually try to recognize people wearing makeup so I could look beyond them and see people as they really are. I believe that people are wonderful unique creations by God. I have looked at some of the “most beautiful” celebrities and noticed almost no common traits. Try to find the right people you don’t need everyone to love you only those who really will.

[@jaimymetts]

It’s so sad how people do this.

[@erikawoods8975]

To any young lady out there. Take good care of yourself and conduct yourself with self respect. The right man will find you and think himself lucky to call you his wife. I met mine at 16 and got married at almost 19. 21 years later, I still don’t do makeup or high heels but present myself clean and respectable to my family and society every day. Couldn’t be happier with my husband.

[@Gianna-x5t]

Couldn't be said better. I personally understand all this, and although I have never even considered to do anything unnatural to myself, social media has a large impact on people's opinions.

[@glowtarot9331]

Differ!!! It’s social media’s fault!! Men now don’t understand how real women look, truthfully. I as a biologist have had to explain to various male friends what is true in the natural world, and what doesn’t truly exist.

[@sirshade222]

Most of the guys I know almost immediately discount the possibility of a woman that follows most of these trends, not only do they tend to make the woman look ridiculous but the type of person that tends to follow them usually isn't high value....if you're so flighty as to jump from trend to trend, sometimes even hurting yourself in the process what guy isn't going to wonder whether you are going to jump ship in the relationship if it becomes difficult. Guys that go after followers of these trends are looking for a trophy, not a woman.

[@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qp]

Well put. I especially agree with your last sentence. Boys placing such high beauty standards on lady friends simply never cared about their welfare. Or mindlessly obey “treat `em mean, keep `em keen”. Knew a guy unsettled about loyal GF having admirers at work; he habitually made cruel remarks about her looks. She desperately tried pleasing him; changing hairstyles, regularly seeing a dermatologist as he pressured her, etc. Instead of being content, he doubled-down on his negging. Exasperated, she dumped him. Once, his relatives expressed shock she stayed for so long; might be some time before he finds another trophy. Doubtless, it´ll be just another setup for failure.

[@trinity0844]

And 100% of those men will toss out the trophy when something better or different comes along!

[@kathy_miller]

This is so true! I am 21 years old, my husband and I have been married for 9 months, and we have a little one on the way. I am absolutely not supermodel material. I have worn makeup twice in my life, and both times, my husband was disappointed because he would rather see the laugh lines in my face and see the real me instead of a fake, painted on face. He has worked his a** off for me and our child. He has a job that makes $40,000 a year but somehow manages to make me a stay at home Mom (my preference), build us a new house from ground up, create a beautiful garden/peaceful space for me and is still so happy and content. I cook him good meals, do his laundry, and keep the house clean and he couldn't love me more!!! It's just the basics, ladies! Men just want you to be cheerful, content, and agreeable! It really is that easy. You can have a fulfilling life!

[@JustAnotherGuy154]

Yeah it’s something I really don’t get, most women celebrities at 40 to 60 have no wrinkles, plastic surgery, and look in their 20s while most men celebrities in that age group look the age their supposed to.

[@danielleblank3946]

It seems to me like men set the beauty standard, but they don't exactly know how unrealistic the standard is. They might see a "naturally beautiful woman" but have no idea what kinds of procedures, money, or makeup actually goes into that look, and then get frustrated when a low-maintenance woman doesn't look like that.

[@simileee]

LMAOo more accountability dodging. Yall cant ever be honest huh?

[@bisgame1769]

the first time i ever saw you on tiktok i thought that you are one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen not in a simpy way just appreciative way and now to hear that you didn't like something about your face is crazy to me

[@remyllebeau77]

"have to do it because of men" "Oh the horrors of having to keep in shape for the person in life that you should love the most! Ewww, just the thought of having to care about what they are attracted to is too much!" /s

[@skywolfc2040]

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every six months." - Oscar Wilde

[@stephanieriggan7676]

A great piece of dating advice I got a long time ago was "how you catch them is how you keep them". I took it to heart and quit taking beauty advice that was making me miserable (mostly from my sisters), went back to wearing clothes I was comfortable in (modest), and no make-up. Within a couple of months I was in a steady relationship with my husband of nearly 11 years. I am frequently complimented on my unique style and all the little girls at church call me "Princess Lady". Do what works for YOU!

[@CJDM4]

Matt was exactly right when he said we just want healthy women in our lives. None of us want to be widowers in our 40s. Injecting, probing, cutting, etc. can't possibly be setting you up for success in the future. I certainly won't speak for all men, but if you feel the need to go to these lengths, many of us aren't the right guy for you.

[@crisemm5207]

Well, to be honest; specially to your conclusion on this video; this is said by you, a 22 years old married woman (engaged when this vid was made)... "Your man would love you no matter what", the issue comes when you HAVE NO MAN! You have to attract a man to be able to marry and have a family. It IS dictated by women but only because other women are our own direct competition on the husband's search. Me, a 38 yo woman whose dream was always to get married, have kids and be the best wife and stay at home mum of all, who dreamed of homeschooling her kids and probably live on a farm...

[@amandafrench9581]

Totally agree, I’m 35 and have never had any “procedures” of any kind. I have wrinkles because I’m a human that laughs and stuff, lol. But my husband truly thinks I’m more beautiful now than when he met me who am I to mess with that?? Plus it’s an ever moving target so younger girls, focus on what matters, find a man that loves you for you. Also where is Brett’s purple mug from on her desk?? That is the cutest thing🥰

[@Caesar2001]

How to find out you're a loser: You listen to the bullies that tell you that you need to change your appearance

[@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qp]

Amen!

[@aspasiaK]

Well I do agree that the problem here is not patriarchy but the root of the problem isn't other women, it delves into the underlying structure of capitalism. Capitalism, leveraging misogyny to its advantage, has deeply entrenched insecurities within both women and men (in some different ways). From a young age, advertisements have dictated standards of beauty, equating a woman's worth solely with her appearance.

[@Yaffa25]

You get an A+. I was waiting for someone to bring up advertisements/ and capitalism.

[@simileee]

Twitter buzzword moment. Women are the ones that set these beauty standards. Stop denying all of this. Look up beauty videos. Guess whos making all these beauty videos? Oh thats right its women.

[@melissanasser9777]

It's an inferiority complex. A beautiful woman, whether you've seen her on the street or on TV, isn't supposed to make you feel inferior. That's mean, you only care about other's gaze

[@kenyanicholas6809]

@@melissanasser9777 Everyone cares about other’s gaze.

[@melissanasser9777]

@@kenyanicholas6809 no

[@vernonmccarty8480]

They take NO responsibility.

[@luxysama94]

I think there's a mislead of what "society's fault" is. I don't think that men in general are the cause of this "beauty standards" in our daily lives. But it's true too that, at least where I live (Spain), it's hard to see, for example, in mainstream TV (news, entertainment programs, etc) a female journalist who doesn't follow this standards, whereas male journalists can appear on TV however they want to. Same with successfull streamers. Even in most professional fields, even if we don't want to see it, men are expected to be competent while women are expected to be both compentent and "beauty". I'm not saying that men ask for that, but I think that there are some pillars in our society that should start to change to help end this kind of things. I totally agree that most of the daily negative comments about women's beauty come from other women, which makes this comments even more hurtful. The internet is full of trolls and people that think that they can say whatever they want, hiding in the anonimate. Maybe the overuse of the word "patriarchy" is misleading the topic from where we should look.

[@deronfredericks617]

No one expect women to be competent and beautiful. I don't know where people get these ideas from. A man can definitely go somewhere Profesional looking crazy. There are far more lax dress codes on women as women can appear to places in outfits that leave them damn near naked without any consequence. Plus u really think the average woman doesn't have beauty standards for men?

[@none_o_ur_bidnis]

The one beauty standard men have is the one beauty standard women reject.

[@PlanetLovingMom]

I'm 34 and I was debating getting light botox in my forehead... but I get told I don't look a year past 25 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I shooed away that ridiculous thought! I don't even dye my hair and I have quite a few silver strands. I cannot wait for a full head of silver hair ❤ Here's to aging gracefully and untouched 🥂

[@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qp]

Gender matters not. I’ve heard and read insults about physical appearance from both boys and girls, directed at their relatives, at their colleagues, at people who I thought were their friends, at their rivals and enemies, even at their crushes and partners. If you’re with people who remark disparagingly about your looks (any outward feature you cannot but possess), it can be many things. They … (1) actually believe you’re “unattractive” and are being ill-mannered and tactless about their unsolicited opinions (2) are attracted to you and are lamely attempting to get your undivided attention by negging you (3) are projecting their insecurities upon you (4) are trying to turn you into their personal project. They’re under the delusion they’re “benevolent”, that you need a “makeover” from the likes of them (5) dislike you and just want you to feel bad about yourself … and on it goes. So what this boils down to is that you ought to ditch these people in favour of better company. No, you don’t need people who flatter you endlessly. They won’t do you any good, either. Just avoid morons who demean you. Life’s too short.

[@Xx.bygracethrufaith]

Brett can you do a video about how Olivia Rodrigo is funding abortion with her GUTS tickets?

[@NauticalTurtle]

I didn't know she is doing this 🤧🤕

[@Xx.bygracethrufaith]

@@NauticalTurtleits so sad and effed up dude. its her fund 4 good, you can look it up.

[@ChristieHall-d1r]

I have the natural " button ski jump nose" and i have thought about it like " is their something wrong with my nose? I thought my nose was supposed to be straight!" And i just let that go because i do not want surgrey and i was born the way i was.

[@CrystalPhoenix1979]

I think it’s a combination of societal standards & a heavy influence from social media. Although natural beauty has always been the go to attraction for women, I think the amount of attention & male recognition beauty influencers receive, rather its IG models, OF, celebrities, or something in that realm has greatly impacted how women view beauty. We can’t pretend that the male gaze has not effected what women think they should look like otherwise we/they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t feel it didn’t give them some form of pretty privilege, positive or negative. And yes, while I believe most men would not agree on the process of how women cosmetically change themselves, men continually contradict themselves by engaging with women who do these procedures, liking, commenting, & viewing that type of content. Let’s be honest, the pressure to be beautiful is a struggle & has greatly increased, especially since social media has come into play. Should we change ourselves? Probably not, but as long as men show attention to a certain types of “beauty” some women will do whatever it takes to gain that attention.

[@alexryan43244]

As a man i totally get your point. Modern beauty standard is very very much orinted towards HYPER SEXUAL LUSTFUL male gaze when I first saw Kim Kardashian i was literally in HEAVEN. It completely changed perception of my reality. She is sexy as fuck. But still you have free will You can appeal to natural beauty standards or female style beauty standards or ethnic style beauty standards like Egyptian or roman or Persian Or even NON SEXUAL MALE GAZE

[@deronfredericks617]

Only some men show attention to that behavior. The men on social media do not represent men all over the world in no way. Plus women nowadays have said and continue to say I don't do beauty things for any man. So unless u want to tell me women don't mean what they say, women deciding to do that is their own fault not men.

[@SubLuminary]

You haven't watched this video yet, have you?

[@BecauseImBatmanFilms]

It came out 2 minutes ago. Cut me some slack.

[@NauticalTurtle]

your pfp is making this comment even better

[@ManateeTail123]

The clip at the beginning of the video: I thought they were shoveling her eyeball out. I am so freaked. Eww!😣

[@Jeanniebugg]

To be fair, there are men who would say that you're not wearing any makeup, because they can't see it. Unless it's super heavy, men are often unaware that women are wearing makeup, at all. Yes, men prefer women who wear makeup - they just think they don't, because they can't tell.

[@deronfredericks617]

No, men can definitely tell if a girl is wearing makeup or not as most men grew up with some girl in their house or life (female friends,female family members,etc). Especially since most women don't go around wearing makeup 24/7. It still amazes me that 1. women genuinely think men can't tell if women are wearing makeup unless they are wearing makeup even though as I mentioned before most men grew up alongside women in their lives, more women today wear makeup than women of previous generations and also wear heavier makeup than women of previous generations and 2. That even though men have constantly told women that we don't prefer makeup, women still ignore what we say and continue on with their own biases.

[@hexi9595]

@@deronfredericks617Pretty much exactly correct. If we say you don’t need makeup then why are women still wearing makeup?

[@mythmurzin]

while not consciously, women understand they are in competition with each other to attract the "perfect" guy, but what women fail to realize, no man wants Mimi from drew carey show. thats clown makeup. women know they can use makeup to make themselves look better which is how we have ended up with the plaster makeup situation that results in women putting on so much makeup that the before and after pictures are disgusting with what they do to alter their appearance from what they are to make themselves look better than other women around them so they can "win" the perfect guy. it isnt men setting women beauty standards, it is women pushing each other further and further so that way THEY can get him. what they dont understand is that men will see them with their makeup, then at some point in the relationship see her without makeup, and then break up with her because they are using so much makeup they dont look like that.

[@trinity0844]

I've been married to the same woman for 47 years, when we were dating back in the stone age, she very rarely wore any make up. It's a relief (at least to me) to know that the woman I went to bed wit will be the same woman I wake up with. I guess it's obvious that I don't much care for SPACKLE on ANY woman's face, in 99.9% of women's cases it is just not necessary. UNLESS YOU HAD A SEVERE CASE OF SMALLPOX AT A YOUNG AGE!

[@naudalyke]

The only people who ever criticized my looks (at least to ny face) were women. My ex-friends, even. Women set the beauty standards and men trusted that the standard that women set was normal.

[@madeleineeggert127]

I've had a different experience, I've had my most deepest insecurities come from men. I've even been compared to other co workers that I work with by a man. I'm very surprised a lot of women have had the opposite experience. I can think of five times I've had my imperfections pointed out by men. When I was in middle school I had a boy come up to me who would make fun of how thin my arms were and I still think about it. We need to stop protecting men

[@deronfredericks617]

Bruh cmon now. There's no way ur serious. Quite literally reading this comment section, u can obviously see ur life experiences are different than the vast majority of women. Most women have gotten picked on by other woman for their looks, especially the part of the looks they're the most insecure about. If anything, u should be saying you need to protect women from other women. No one protects men, u can go online or go outside and find that most people blame men for various different things. And additionally on the protecting point, how can u say stop protecting men when men have their own insecurities and for most men their insecurities get made of more by women than men yet almost no one is making videos about men facing insecurities?

[@davidconlee2196]

People that say the patriarchy sets beauty standards are just ignorant. The patriarchy leadership committee meets pretty regularly to discuss how they should pull the levers of power to meet their selfish desires. The one thing they always fail at is setting beauty standards to suit their preferences. It never works and it always frustrates them.

[@AlexandriaDarby]

I had insecurities in my nose growing up and always teased for it. I’m thankful I didn’t do any surgery to change it because I love my wide nose now and I def grew into it as I aged