NOBODY is immune to THIS TYPE of love bombing

[@eiehe93-]

The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing. I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you! Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.

[@TorgerVedeler]

Always look at how someone treats others. If they praise you at the expense of someone else, there’s something wrong, especially if you are the only one they praise.

[@MathouM-f6v]

Absolutely 100 % agree with it, and this is what saved me from being more manipulated than I already was ! Being chosen by someone who despises others is a curse

[@xxcc4481]

My ex said the girl he met right before me was "Terrible

[@marysisak2359]

So true. I was sucked into a "you are the only person I told this (trauma) to" so I shared personal and very painful info. Trauma that I had not dealt with. Then I realized this type of scenario had occurred. All I wanted from this guy was some closure, now I realize why he kept me hanging on. Ultimately I realized that the only way I was going to get free was to deal with the original trauma which ultimately did free me from this guy's hold over me. Finding Dr. R has turbo boosted my healing journey. Thank you so much for all you have done for us.

[@pcblues]

Yep. I keep having "what the hell? Yes, I'm not alone" moments watching her videos. The very best to your healing. Just one quick point, when other narcs around you see you have found your centre, they will try to decentre you again. It might not even be conscious to them. Maybe just a sense you have regained your joy. Fight to get it back again :)

[@cheneeroheim8327]

Not sure if in my situation it was you are the only one I ever told this to, you are the best, never had it so good with anyone before. I call it the “ infatuation love bomb.”

[@moniquejackson7741]

Wow, Brilliant. I'm the oldest of six, and triangulation was a daily occurrence in my multi-generational narcissistic family. We need to be aware because it's such an easy and effective tool for a Narcissist.

[@sylvievachon1020]

Love your language lol..they are big children that have never grown up. So glad I know better now 😊

[@caraelsenoldenburg8848]

This is spot on. Long distance relationships, wow this is described accurately. Fantasy discussions wouldn’t match reality visits. Man I was played. At least I’m not “in it” anymore

[@amandawest9996]

Oh I wish there was a timestamp but I should prolly listen through the whole thing. I'm so done with this karmic cycle

[@amandawest9996]

More minutes in.......yep!!! I am reminded not to skip to the hyper relevant aspect..... but needed the WHOLE THING. WOW. dr. Romani, you're a lightworker!!!

[@amandawest9996]

Also, keep going girl!! Your comment sparked me bc I've just been through my first ever LDR and confirmed WHY I've never done them before. At least we can say we gave it our best and no regrets bc we stood in our strength no matter what it took to get there! Keep goin, sis!!!

[@matthewwozniak9138]

You have a beautiful mind, that's why I appreciate you. If I'm not right with myself, I don't need to be anyone else. I won't be ignoring any red flags anymore.

[@benyc4238]

Good morning Dr. Ramey, I live in the Seattle area and came upon your podcasts a few years ago. I want you to know how grateful I am for your teaching. It has literally changed my life understanding the concepts of gray rocking and indifference has brought me out of a 43 year relationship and 38 year marriage to an abusive narcissist. Questions now circulate in my mind as to why I allowed it to happen so long. I’d like to understand that part of me. I heard a recent Lecture on the importance of silence in some circumstances. It Parallels so well what you’ve taught. thought you might like to hear it. Thank you so very much for what you do and help you give. Leslie.

[@Lailat854]

Mine kept praising me to all - took decades before I understood he saw me as an extension of him. He was like “my wife is tough, she does amazing things, she is clever etc etc”. Then came the devaluation and I was so confused. Then he would say he has temper, he doesn’t mean all the bad things. Decades later I understood that I compensated for his failure, his insecure self. So he was like “I am si special and clever. Look who I chose as wife”. But he made me feel like a hero - and then he drove over me in devaluation faces.

[@treelight1707]

I am sorry you had to go through this. It might help to think that someone did it to him before, probably a parent.

[@radicalreactions1633]

@@treelight1707 That's an excuse.

[@treelight1707]

@@radicalreactions1633 Depends on who's saying it, and in which context.

[@pcblues]

Yep. Happened to me twice now. Say I'm a slow learner, and I'll agree. It's like advertising. The people running the show know the psychology of people better than me and I become victimised even though I hate being a victim. All the best to your healing.

[@christelleny]

Our worst enemies (besides the Narc): 1) Our own mind when it sees "potential". 2) Our super empathy for sob stories. 3) Our trust and belief in people. 4) Our hopes. Peace, growth and healing to all. ❤

[@5thHouseProductions]

@DoctorRamani You’ve been gifted with the ability to clearly and compassionately explain deeply hurtful things. This awareness is what drives us to become our better selves. Thank you💜

[@Buwan173]

This is so on point, unfortunately.. I feel so stupid.

[@twinsma14]

I understand totally.

[@Esther15889]

Me, too :( And I almost killed myself over what he did to me... The "most sensitive and charismatic poetic religious philosopher" type... He tricked me masterfully.

[@twinsma14]

@ the devil… literally

[@AminataWoods]

Since I've been working on healing the trauma bond I realize how unbearable they are. I'd rather be alone than having a narcissistic family member, friend, partner or boss. It can be uncomfortable for me to stay awake about the fact that this kind of people exists but I am willing to remain aware and nourish my relationship with myself.

[@VenusianLissette]

we are so lucky. literal gems of information. thank you Dr. Ramani, she COOKED; and fed us a nutritious lesson, and for this i am grateful! ❤thank you!

[@darcyroyce]

Ohhh. This got me hard. One of the hardest things to untangle in therapy as I was so confused by the end of it! Word for word this. x

[@andreab.1943]

My narcissistic ex didn't drag me into a love triangle, but complained time after time about his ex throwing him out of the apartment with all his stuff during one weekend when they broke up. But then in the 2nd sentence he even admitted (!!!) how badly HE treated HER in the end and that HE was only interested in satisfying his physical needs with her! That should have been a big red flag for me! He could not recognize any connection between his awful behavior and her final reaction to it. No self-reflection whatsoever (as we know from Dr. Ramani already that this is very common!) Also: there should be some guidance on how to do a dignified exit from a romantic relationship - among alll these gazillion dating guides on how to get a new partner.

[@VictorNolochemical]

Nightmare almost got me killed. Trust red flags, like my life depends on it. Nightmare 😒

[@Dedemorris7948]

Wow…. This makes me feel less stupid. This exactly describes my ex boyfriend of 3 years. To a tee. Your videos are so helpful for me. Thank you

[@movingsaudade6028]

He's your ex for 3 years now or you dated for 3 years?

[@Dedemorris7948]

@@movingsaudade6028ex for 3 months. Boyfriend for 3 years

[@peshahamer4078]

OMG this is so true. Exactly how I was hooked into my last relationship

[@Bulbasaur-e7l]

My cat lovebombs me. Love, discard, love discard… It’s a vicious cycle.

[@katiefrankie6]

Same here. Why do I keep going back?!!

[@snownotwhite]

😂

[@Bulbasaur-e7l]

@@katiefrankie6 probably because they’re so darn cute.

[@privateprivate8366]

I know about the covert narcissistic boss. Other than for the need of a paycheck, I often wonder just what value they think they have, to anyone. The triangulation, the discards, the sabotage. And I somehow feel they want me to feel the discard. I can identify. But am more than delighted to scrape them off, on someone else and it’s funny to watch as, the new supply feels they’ve swept in and have the nod, while they might’ve gotten a booby prize.

[@marjan3000]

Rom com analogy is spot on

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Thus happened to me. We were friends...we texted.He was getting over a relationship were the other person was the abusive one. But it turned out that he also hadn't divorced his wife that he'd split with some years previous. The future faking was amazing and he wasn't abusive but he messed up eventually. I saw the light. 🙏🌸

[@Summer_Harvest]

My ex compared me to his girlfriend. He told me this. After he wrecked me a couple times I did not show the hurt anymore. I knew he enjoyed my tears in a sick way. I'm so glad she got away, but it wasn't before she was beaten unfortunately. When it happened she came to me (us). She was tricked and pulled back in with an engagement ring since he had to save face and we had a daughter. Later, after she got out of the relationship she wrote us a kind letter. I hope she has a good life now.

[@joy52905]

Thanks for giving me the closure that I deserved. Little baby steps to getting better and better.

[@lesleyelalami2562]

Thanks Dr Ramani..... couldn't believe how detailed and accurate every word was. xxx

[@lostredsock6989]

Best description evah! I used to be married to a narcissist just like that, but I'm much better now.

[@aprilwilcox5065]

Same here

[@susanbradleyskov9179]

My narc ex was extremely frustrated by my lack of (sexual) jealousy. He told me it meant I didn’t love him. I still don’t get that!

[@lostredsock6989]

Same here. The narc ex wasn't that hot in the cot so he was whistling dixie..

[@spdisha-songsmusic278]

5:03 ​@@lostredsock6989

[@carolhill8917]

You described my ex-husband with your triangulation description. It's about exactly what happened. Unfortunately, they are still together after 27 years between the private conversations at their workplace to 22 years of marriage. He (they) also took my daughter away from me with lies. That's another narcissistic topic of parental alienation.

[@movingsaudade6028]

Oh boy..my narc ex got married. Literally within a year of our break up...still honey moon phase...but I won't be salty about it bcs a narc is a narc...

[@michaeldonovan6405]

This is exactly what happened to me over 3 years. Wasn't long before she completely destroyed me when we finally got together. I almost didn't survive it.

[@TarteAuSucreTV]

Holy crap, this is so true!!! I experienced this from someone I thought was a friend, and it was never, ending a relationship and healing from it, it was alright, onto the next!

[@kat-75]

😀 They only think I miss it. My Lords truth always prevails, chosen or not. ty

[@enojelmeli]

This! 💯 🎯 Peace is priceless.

[@pjwilson-si2kj]

Thank you so much for your wisdom… Wow, this clears up the confusion…

[@cheneeroheim8327]

SPOT ON! Got used so much, to the point I didn’t know I was being used. I see so much of everything Dr R says now than I did while in this situation. Why would one insist to friends and family you are, “married?” In my relationship he has so many false things that he believes, to the point he lied to himself.

[@ethanmiller5487]

Until you realize that between not being in a relationship and being stuck in a horrible relationship are a bunch of personal choices that you could have made to not be in a horrible relationship you are going to be stuck in the same cycle. It's up to you to make wise choices. Just because the situation makes it easy to make a specific choice doesn't mean you are required to make it.

[@rhondadaignault7095]

Oh yes and unfortunately I have been the victim of this and it really sucks. Thanks once again for edifying the ignorant

[@renatamayumikobata]

Doctor Ramani, your videos are great and you are such a great psychologist, professor, author, I don’t know, I came to know about you this year, and WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL human being INSIDE AND OUT. I would love to be friends, but I’m not on any social networks. You’re pretty famous now, though, and famous people attract famous people, that’s how the Universe works and I’m not part of that universe. Just keep up the great work! I quit social media a long time ago and am not ready to join them again. 😢 Much peace and love from Brazil. ❤ Edit: You’ve got a special place in my heart now along with a few other celebrities. Edit 2: Oh, don’t worry, I’m not a narcissist! 😅 Love bombing is not pure. Love is pure.

[@quirkyturk3y396]

Thank you Dr Ramani! So, so, good. You're videos help me(and everybody here) so much I just always want to let u know how appreciated you are😊💜🌻

[@jenniferwaidelich642]

Yep, I'm not allowed to follow anyone remotely attractive, but he's allowed to follow people he is openly attracted to locally and remotely! Why is that ok? It's for business.

[@lt827]

My ex had the ultimate triangulation: he compared me to his late mother, whom I never met. Apparently, she was better than me in every conceivable way!

[@cetil965]

Thank you - this helps me to make sense of what happened .

[@erockfreedom6399]

I have experienced this. Felt so damn special. I was the primary source of supply....for a week. Then, he was. When we were together I was counseling him about the other side of the triangle. Most of it was lies. We spent most of our time inside in his apartment. The confusion and ultimately the hurt from his random disappearances for days or weeks at a time...there are so msny stories. It went from exciting to exhausting.

[@alisonodonnell1773]

From exciting to exhausting... SPOT ON!!

[@heathersteinhoff9540]

Thank you Dr. Ramani.

[@brendawashington206]

❤lived it for 37yrs...Nac couldn't wait to tell me all about the numerous women who were always flirting and wanting him🤮

[@goodmorningsunshine85]

Ha! These are my soon to be ex husband's mistresses. Except one is always stalking me online. He has not picked her in 7 years, but she is still there. She's going to get the prize soon and it will highly disappoint. Plus her spot will be open for another to take.

[@lorianttila9698]

Love this, watching again and again

[@QX-xq5uj]

Exactly like you said: Even before our relationship started I was feeling anxious, confused, frustrated and sometimes crazy! Now I get it: I had fallen in his trap!😏

[@Summer_Harvest]

My deceased ex had me believe (we were an 'exclusive' couple) we would be each others first intimate relationship and waited until after to tell me he was with someone prior. That is some kind of sick. Probably on a bet. He always had bets at work and would berate women who were in superior positions to him. Well, he was with her in the end. She had cosmetic surgery prior. Sad!

[@p.w.352]

Never underestimate the power of triangulation.

[@eniggma9353]

oh you'd be soo surprised how elaborate it can get, yet... once you know it and you woke up. then its all good.

[@elizabethalexander6528]

Hey Doc I missed you. The election took me hostage. I do love you tho❤🎉

[@fadiel-turk5654]

Im surprised she hasn’t talked about narcissism of Israeli government and society after a year of genocide. Well I’m not surprised really. She’s a sell out unfortunately

[@hurricaneaquatics]

You should feel better now! The election turned out perfectly and now we get to save our country.

[@HazMatt_Hamburger]

@@hurricaneaquaticsLook! A narcissist in the comment section!

[@Wendypansingl]

Me!!!! Happened to me and again after 18 years of marriage and three kids, he did that with a coworker…. He treated his family the worst, and I had to fled with the children. He was left a victim to serve his love bombing and triangulation with this new supply and she bought it!!! Just like I did!!!! And I see it now…. I am the crazy one… raising our kids alone and he paints a picture of me as a bad guy……

[@MerryCarrie]

Doc, I already knew you were smart. But you are a genius! My soon to be ex did the same thing to me at the beginning of our relationship...ha and is now doing this to his new ( 18 year younger) supply. Bless her heart shes right where I was 17 years ago when I naively thought I was the "Chosen one". Currently I'm in the middle of a divorce with him, still afraid he's gonna come back and yell at me or shame me again.. I am also in counseling and a group for healing from codependency. What a life full of regrets i have behind me.

[@Indy__isnt_it]

I disconnected on SM for him to HAVE to speak to me if he wants to know anything. What's on SM was never meant for us to communicate. He already stank at his efforts. He didn't need a keyboard to speak to me.

[@29Janice]

This is what I grew up in. Trying to get out of this with my narc husband. We're slowly moving forward.

[@Ratgirl2]

Yes and yes like nothing is wrong after your soul is gone. I know it's fable. Now to get out of this my grown children disappeared. Want know part of the chaos.😢😢

[@kkryz]

I remember my uncle telling me when I was in a newer relationship to not put all my eggs in one basket lol

[@mjaye1712]

I learned to RUN when a guy attempts the "Oh, you're not like..."

[@ChristineThomas-h9z]

So spot on

[@stargazer3887]

Very true!

[@janiecepoush1904]

🙏🏻Thanks, kindly! 🕊🍃

[@kathyjustice1308]

So true. I got really hurt a couple of times. Triangulation is so evil. It’s a set up where no one wins except the perpetrator. It makes one competitive even when your not.

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

Mine, I found out, had a fiance and was hooking up with multiple women that I didn't know about. He did this for two years after he was supposedly exclusively with me. I was "chosen". Trust me, it wasn't pleasant living the eleven years of Hell! Now he's doing it again,. But thankfully, I kicked him out. Now they can do whatever they want without my sacrifice.

[@gwenjohn8673]

This is what mine did to me- we went to dog parks, friendly texts, and then waited till I was vulnerable, and got me in bed.

[@Callie-z7c]

This is a particularly interesting one for me because I don't relate to the thrill or elevated appeal of "being chosen" as described in the video. I'm wondering why that is. 🤔 There's only been one person I've liked/fallen in love with who has seemed to have a lot of admirers, and I really wished he hadn't. Maybe that's because no one has ever "chosen" me. 🤷‍♀️ Or maybe it's because my most positively influencual primary caregiver growing up, my brother, never elicited/triggered feelings of competitiveness in me. It was always just us... just the two of us as a team... but him always carrying an unfair burden/magnitude/responsibility of the weight. 😢💔💔 Wow, Dr. Ramani is extraordinary. She really brings it out of us. It's one of the many reasons we love her. 🩷

[@natalieforwood2651]

ThNkyou

[@robertnewberry7799]

The evil ones do not have the capacity, nor the ability to understand, love. Evil lusts, which is neither the spirit of love, nor the Spirit of God. Lust is Satanic.

[@danielyarbrough6432]

This lady is like Abraham hicks on steroids. I love this

[@irenehurtig266]

Correct happend to me

[@megalacg]

how to heal the pain of years of believing the love bombing as love.?been now abandoned emotionally and financially and suffering the torture of the narcissistic mil and the cult as well.After losing everything, just hope to live peacefully or may be al least die peacefully.Does the pain ever end ? is there a way to survive this better with lesser tears and fewer emotional breakdowns.

[@leinanyte8163]

Hello, I really appreciate your videos and love your book I am currently reading (even though it’s also painful to hear these things). Is it possible that a professor you have/had is a narcissist (narcissistic behaviors) and you end up in their snare?

[@xxcc4481]

I am panicing cause my physical therapist has been asking me all kinds of personal questions and I found out he is married or had a wedding recently and he has hidden that while talking a lot about himself. I am super triggered because I'm being targeted by another narc

[@annratier7444]

So true …

[@Ldyklr420]

"Luhhhhhv"... 🤭

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@JoeB1985x]

WOW

[@theworldofactiontheatercom9677]

🥺

[@arıkçetin-o7u]

God is king✝️✝️✝️ $45k biweekly changed my mindset and behavior, my goals, my family and I've to say this video has inspired me a lot!!!!❤️

[@BurhanKaçmaz-q3z]

I'm feeling really motivated. Could you share some details about the biweekly topic you brought about up? 😊

[@arıkçetin-o7u]

I raised 75k and Maria Luisa Clare is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Maria L. Clare is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!

[@markhenry8002]

Wow 😱 I know her too Miss Maria Luisa Clare is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.

[@markhenry8002]

I started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH!

[@jacksonalderson]

I know that woman(Maria Luisa Clare) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!

[@tamelashafer8852]

💜♾️🙏🏼🕉️

[@Rohanology]

Fix the audio 💀

[@Margottaful]

faked trust

[@merlinwizard1000]

10th, 14 November 2024