Norm Macdonald Tells His 7-Minute “Dirty Johnny” Joke (2016)

[@howardstern]

Stream the FULL interview now on SiriusXM: sxm.app.link/HSNormMacdonald

[@QIKUGAMES-QIKU]

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[@timcistone1431]

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[@Jeremy848]

​@@timcistone1431 ll

[@Jeremy848]

Llll) 4:38

[@Momar-o5b]

I love Norm, that being said, now I will be the boobtube chat nerd. Glocks were invented in 1982.

[@pedrosimas2642]

"the land was uneven" is such a fantastic line

[@GMaster7]

"The earth was uneven," too!

[@sushimaster77]

The chickens survived easily; they frolicked.

[@sfkingalpha]

@@sushimaster77 too good

[@greasyboy737]

Sounds biblical

[@greasyboy737]

@@k-mart7475 i am in your closet

[@2wheeled76]

I don’t know why, but my favorite part of Norm’s joke is when he interjects “thank god for the hatchery!”

[@lukefressell5483]

Me too

[@martino5742]

Where would we be?

[@Booksaplenty1]

@@martino5742we’d all be lost

[@yesmate3442]

It's just so funny how he adds depth and backstory to this joke

[@sungazer454]

So much societal criticism pressed into such a simple injection

[@danwiberg8537]

Props to Howard for reading the room and understanding a master storyteller was talking.

[@daquanblackson]

Howards a great radio show host. He’d make an incredible late night show host as well

[@midnightrider2342]

Anything is better than Howard talking, or Robin cackling. This is probably about the only Howard clip I can bear to watch.

[@tubeguy4066]

​@@midnightrider2342 true lol

[@Ard.cfc90]

Props to Gary you mean, more than likely he spent ages convincing Howard to let this masterpiece to happen 😂😂😂😂😂

[@toolrammsteindeftones]

​@@midnightrider2342why you here if it's unbearable

[@cdawg_sf]

This is true performance art. He could read the phone book and hold your attention and make you laugh until it hurts

[@FiveLeefClovr]

@Dennis McConnell 😂😂😂

[@HughMorristheJoker]

I think it was Marjorie

[@SubtlyAggressive]

The whole joke, was funnier than the punchline. Just Norm's commitment to the way he tells long jokes like this had me cracking up so hard. RIP Norm

[@dillonbird4645]

That’s most likely the point

[@sickrandy2946]

@@dillonbird4645 not most likely, that is the point.

[@dickvalentinesillegitimate1059]

No…………..shit.

[@DavidKArrrrgh]

Yes, that’s the whole point,

[@newman6434]

the joke was that there really was no punchline

[@davida4607]

There is no way I could tell this same joke and make anyone laugh. Norm’s magic is that he can do that.

[@rockymountainhomestead]

I've tried a dozen times. You are correct

[@michaeldeboer1268]

The reactions I get is exactly what you would expect 😂

[@MattM0481]

I've done it a couple times and got laughs. Depends on the audience?

[@mister_vegas]

9/14 was a national tragedy. It's the day we lost Norm.

[@brianbacich9999]

Legend

[@bansaw99]

Why'd you laugh at that?

[@startervisions]

Oh, don't laugh at 9/14

[@betsybauer7340]

I’m down a rabbit hole of Norm, I had no idea it was today

[@idklol.4434]

More of a regional tragedy if you ask me lol rip norm you’ll be missed

[@paulogaviola6828]

No matter how many comedians we can watch on youtube, we always find our way back to Norm

[@fuegofreh3648]

No one can tell a joke like this and make it funny like Norm. RIP Legend

[@cybercop0083]

I love that the teacher has to grapple with her responsibility to let poor dirty Johnny speak

[@pliskin101]

Norm's "by God!" he usually throws in during a bit always makes me laugh, I don't know why.

[@coleweber1484]

and by God, even the children

[@1shpendi]

Me too.

[@premsarin9866]

Fuck man, nobody is going to capture humor like that ever again. Rip to a legend

[@ry4nx]

i start laughing automatically when norm says "and by god"

[@pjtyra2106]

He uses this so often and it’s funny Everytime

[@quainejohnson4808]

This is the only joke that turns into a Cormac Mccarthy novel and then turns back into a joke

[@Fafafohi]

Going to pick up Blood Meridian soon. My first novel by him. Good place to start?

[@friend-nn2zk]

​@@Fafafohivery good place, amazing book

[@Fafafohi]

@@friend-nn2zk thank you!

[@Dunmerdog]

@@Fafafohiso how was it?

[@Fafafohi]

@@Dunmerdog haven’t picked it up yet. Still need to finish the two books I’m reading now. But thanks for asking!

[@TheSavageGospel]

“The chickens survived easily…they frolicked.”

[@sdm1568]

Lmao

[@sij809]

I keep thinking he meant ti say flourished but then switched it

[@Mike-In-Florida]

When the teacher says HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING STORY IS THAT? I literally fucking lost it. Hearing Howard chuckling throughout the joke just adds to the build up. What a goddamn legend. RIP Norm!

[@jam-nc8ut]

I also love that the teacher calls one of her students 'Dirty Johnny'. Got to be a blow to any child's morale!

[@pjtyra2106]

This part is so funny, his mannerisms when he gets into each character of the story are gut wrenching

[@rhahnabunaid]

"My father always told this joke." Makes me think ol' MacDonald senior told this joke every year during Christmas dinner.

[@user-ellievator]

That bastard still owes me 5 bucks

[@Rcknrll666]

@@AstroBear11 E I E I O

[@TheAmateurEditor]

@Rhah Nabunaid "ol' MacDonald senior" - I think you mean 'ol Gypsy Jack Macdonald'

[@bigorange000]

Only when his brother Terry couldn't make it for dinner.

[@DrTimWhatleyDDS]

This is a great holiday tradition that I’m going to introduce to my family.

[@zaartac]

"The chickens survived, they frolicked."

[@Sully0020]

One of the most underrated parts of the joke: Teacher asks what the moral of the story is. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch out of the eggs” Teacher says well you could probably shorten it a little.

[@BakelitTV]

Could someone please explain why thats funny? Shorten it a little? Shorten what

[@Sully0020]

@@BakelitTV It's funny because the traditional saying is "Don't count your chickens before they hatch". That's why the teacher says you could shorten it.

[@bhedgepig9653]

Explain to the folks at home why this line is underrated.

[@elducky9574]

@@BakelitTV The whole joke could be a minute long, not 8 minutes.

[@Sully0020]

@@elducky9574 I wish it was 18 minutes long

[@travisfletcher900]

It’s not the destination… it’s the journey! RIP NORM. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

[@mattsharkey8437]

The pauses actually make you visualize the classmate's uncomfortable demeanor while Johnny tells the story lol. Brilliant!

[@og_bhaiyu]

This man's ability to hold someone's attention is/was astounding. Rip Norm.

[@MrSuperdelf]

I think this is the best joke ive ever heard honestly. Everything norm said set up the rest of the joke. It was long and amazing. It also helped that Robin, Fred, Howard, and yes even Benji responded to the joke perfectly

[@kimaegaii]

I feel the exact same. This was the best I've heard and the execution was so great.

[@RishabhKanishka]

"Today in Class.....Class" Norm you beauty❤❤

[@user-js8ud3ub9p]

thanks Howard stern show staff for posting this clip, probably one of norm's best moments and now it's being enjoyed by hundreds of thousands

[@alexandergannon7058]

I dare everyone to try and retell this story to your family and friends and get a laugh. It's a tough one lol. What a goddamn genius

[@voighta]

Can confirm it doesn’t go well

[@Beejjjjj]

I've done it.

[@MattM0481]

@@Beejjjjj Same, I got quite a few laughs in retelling it.

[@HamuraiC-137]

I used to be a bouncer and when it was slow would ask people coming in if they wanted to hear a joke. Some made it all the way to the end and thought it was funny

[@anthonyconvery4331]

I've done it, it takes practice. I've done the Kermit Jagger joke a few times and when someone has hear me say it before they laugh harder bc I was able to make it even longer... norm has such awesome storytelling

[@marknasuta1775]

Stern being quiet for 7 minutes is a miracle!!!!

[@pioung]

I could have listen to that same joke unfolding for at least 30 minutes more without being disappointed. Storytelling is an art that Norm had perfected.

[@DevonMessinger]

Stay away from Terry when he's uncorked the jug 😂

[@MikeMurdok]

Thank you so much for uploading this clip! I’ve only heard the audio a million times. 😂

[@3SpeedHolster]

Someone asked Norm if he was the class clown in school. He said "no...I couldn't afford the shoes."

[@esunsalmista]

"Dirty Johnny, what on earth could be the moral to such a story??" -- Hilarious that even the teacher calls him Dirty Johnny 🤣

[@dtcarpediem]

God no one can tell a story like Norm. Even if it goes nowhere his delivery a lone will make you laugh. Man I miss him so much 😢.

[@matt.stevick]

2:57 …. _out of the eggs!_ “you could probably shorten it a little.” That’s the subtle brush stroke of Norm’s art.

[@bobbywhite1645]

I've heard it a dozen times. Still makes me laugh everytime. Might be the best joke ever

[@oneanddone7992]

The moth joke.

[@threegreencharms]

This is one of the most masterfully crafted jokes in human history.

[@teamkingburrous7537]

On god

[@lorenshevitz1178]

The crummy punchline makes it better.

[@KeatonMcAdams]

One of my all time favorite norm jokes

[@robertwalker387]

I was in tears crying at the end. Norm was a legend. We lost him too soon.

[@Romany1111]

Whenever Norm told a story, I felt as if I was sitting next to him on the porch. Relaxed, captivated, and knowing...just knowing that I was destined to be howling with laughter in a short time. Or, more likely, in a longer time.

[@Human_Evolution-]

Norm perfected this joke on his own show.

[@tapatton9]

You ain't wrong. That particular telling was the absolute best. He was really in his element when it was just him, Adam and a funny guest.

[@Nobodyevencares27]

Absolutely

[@Cenyon]

This version has a better delivery of the line «and from the town came … people».

[@howtomakeamonster]

this is the better one for me

[@johningle1]

this is the best version. by far.

[@danprump72]

Admiration for him in Howards eyes makes me very happy

[@robertduffy5805]

Norm could drag out a joke longer than anyone else.

[@ghostmanscores1666]

The moth joke made me laugh.

[@kamuelalee]

artist

[@Y3MINEM]

Not “the road was bumpy” but “the earth was uneven” Fckn Norm all the way

[@MisterKidd555]

On behalf of every single one of your fans, we still miss you Norm and we will be watching your many genius comedy clips and standup specials until the end of time, sir.

[@kevin_nagle]

Miss Norm, certainly one of a kind.

[@Publiksquare]

That's Mr. Norm to you

[@kevin_nagle]

@@Publiksquare har har har

[@wpdoyle]

I would have paid lot of money to hear Norm tell a 3 hour version of this. And I’m sure he could have done it, too.

[@JakeWitmer]

2:40 Howard's expression of being slowly tortured at this timestamp is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

[@Cherokeechuck9]

He's just sad about the eggs

[@forgetfulstranger]

He's enjoying it, it's a wistful smile

[@blackstacie_ibe]

I love how they respectfully and lovingly hang on every word of such a nonsensical but genius bit.

[@antileft6776]

F*cking pure genius. God Bless Norm. Proof of divinity.

[@haroon420]

I was listening to this in bed, half asleep.. and I swear to God, when the teacher interrupted Dirty Johnny, I burst out laughing. norm had us completely engrossed and I had totally forgot that it was a class room story. I think that misdirection was the actual joke. Listening to a really absurd story being told by a child. 😂😂

[@paazbra]

Indeed

[@xhildhood]

Congratulations on understanding comedy

[@mikezooper]

Norm’s so honourable for clearly saying it’s not his joke.

[@sananfakhr4336]

It is his joke. And him saying that its not his joke is actually the joke

[@westinian3144]

@@sananfakhr4336right, it all adds to the bit, “this is what they call a street joke” and then stretches for 8 minutes 😭😭

[@monkeyslap7772]

You look at Howard's eyes while Norms talking and they are lit up enjoying every second of Norm telling this joke.

[@wompevents]

I recently got “thank god for the hatchery” tattooed on my arm. RIP Norm.

[@alexbriseno9529]

W

[@blakenorman4822]

By God I salute you

[@Myllys2]

@wompevents where can I see it?

[@Kai_Peters]

@@Myllys2 On his arm, ya dingus

[@AmmoGus1]

Lol​@@Kai_Peters

[@sonofaseawarrior]

That aw shucks, ambling, laconic way Norm tells his tale (weaves his masterpiece) is black belt comedian. WØW! Special guy. 👌 R.I.P. ❣

[@daniela.cordova4311]

Thank you Howard for giving us this!

[@GlenMcGlone]

“Awoke in the middle of Danang”. Mad bastard.

[@michaelirizzz121]

Bringing joy and laughter into our hearts even long after his time. We miss you Uncle Terry, you’re a gem 💎

[@2weeksupnorth]

My life goal is to tell this joke in front of others and have someone appreciate it…

[@JFromAcc]

Love norm. Especially on Howard. Only he could make this funny in the way that he did.

[@johningle1]

thanks for posting. this Stern version is the best! one of my all time favorites.

[@mattyjay8896]

The greatest joke teller of all time! RIP Norm.

[@BRAUSA]

This is one of my favorite jokes of all time. God bless Norm. The GOAT. I miss him.

[@antileft6776]

Pure and absolute genius. One in a billion gifts.

[@ethanwilliam9944]

the way that Norm would pronounce and emphasize certain words was in of itself funny. Its almost as if he was telling a joke without telling a joke. He will be missed. R.I.P. Sir and thanks for the laughs.

[@TronaldTheWizard]

Part of the genius of this joke is there are so many small details in the story, theirs nothing that gives away what the punchline will be

[@monolithsound]

Norm was a national TREASURE!!!! Thanks, Stern Show.

[@adrianmasters250]

Despite knowing it's a joke, having heard it before, and knowing it's one of Norm's long winded misdirection gags, I'm totally captured when he tells it, Norm is the master

[@kobbetop]

Man, I miss Norm. He told that same joke on the podcast with Stephen Merchant as guest and it was even better than this. The punch line was more honed ”When uncle Terry’s been drinking, you don’t f*ck with him!”.

[@Uuu44]

Truth he hit every beat on the podcast

[@kobbetop]

@@GenghisClaus you’re welcome Turd Ferguson.

[@davidmelville5675]

That's where I saw it first and he nailed it there. This is good but that version is sublime.

[@Andres-lt7hp]

At lastt! We have this video on!!, I’ve been listening this for years, literally make me teary eyed to see norm like this. In his element, jovial😕

[@Chreeeis]

If you liked this joke, you HAVE to see him telling it on his own show. It's one of the greatest things you'll ever see

[@ADF366]

Which episode?

[@antileft6776]

The Great Norm MacDonald. Pure genius.

[@mangasky7]

One of the truly magical Norm moments on the Stern show. We miss you so badly, you old chunk of coal. Funniest dude ever. Say "Hi" to Bowie for me.

[@patrickclark1000]

Good God. The change in demeanor once Dirty Johnny takes over the story.

[@moseswilliams1576]

I think that's the longest I've ever heard Howard be quiet.

[@Fafafohi]

Love that Howard let’s him go. He really DID understand Norm.

[@thisisanfield7085]

“A little something to lighten the mood” Legend 😂

[@massapower]

This is story telling 😎👍🏻

[@johnfazzari6208]

Norm had them mesmerized. He's quite an orator.

[@MrMotoflou]

He's also an incredible public speaker

[@Maithius222]

Norm Mcdonald is the only comedian I know where the story IS the punchline rather then the punchline itself

[@GlenMcGlone]

“The mud and the blood and the guts”

[@XanderShiller]

Best sit-down comic of all time.

[@CharlesRBiggs]

"The land was uneven." "The Hatchery". Hilarious!!

[@marcd5285]

7:49 sums up Norm. Thank you for all the years. R.I.P.

[@CamMacMastermusic]

My favorite joke of all time. Thank you for sharing this.

[@SoupA150]

So funny! It's all in the delivery.

[@paulogaviola5522]

oh wow, thanks for uploading this! Seeing norm telling this makes it 100x funnier

[@GravityFalloutPines]

The best part is seeing Howard's sheer delight as Norm is telling the story

[@leewilson1316]

Wno else could you quote notably by saying, "The land was uneven." Priceless!

[@justingreen4450]

Your favorite comedian's favorite comedian. #legend

[@DM-kl4em]

Norm McDonald has a very unorthodox, upside-down way of telling jokes. The punchline is rarely (if ever) very funny, but the story leading up to it is HILARIOUS. Of course, he also always prefaces it with "This is not my joke."

[@E1N101]

Thanks for reminding us of this beauty

[@prakharjain9801]

"And in this joke he's not dirty" 🤣

[@sstaners1234]

Reminds me of a Dirty Johnny joke where the teacher asks the class to draw something as a group exercise. First kid comes up and draws a line. “What’s that?” Says the teacher. ‘That’s the horizon.’ “Very good.” Next kid draws a triangle on top of the line. “What’s that?” ‘That’s a mountain.” “Very well.” Next kid comes up and draws 2 humps in the triangle. “What’s that?” ‘I made the mountain a teepee. That’s the design on the teepee.” “Very good.” Next kid comes up and draws a door on the teepee with a sun shining down. “What’s that?” ‘That’s the door on the teepee and a sun shining above it.’ So just then dirty Johnny gets up and walks to the board and draws something above the sun and teepee that resembles a half shaped heart. “Johnny, what on earth is that?’ ‘That’s my uncle Frank bending over to clean the bathtub on a Friday night.’

[@saladtoss1]

….. and that’s a joke to lighten things up!! Lol 💀💀💀… a legend

[@manuelsaraiva551]

Thank you for this gem. Its been a year? It hurts like it was today and he's a diamond.

[@_DennisNjenga]

rip to the legend

[@broncobilly4029]

He just made that up as he went. He was great. RIP Norm.

[@willyoung859]

“The earth was uneven” is the best way to say the road was bumpy lol

[@braydengaune2511]

Bro that was perfect😂I totally forgot Johnny was telling the teacher this story until the “HOLY FUCKING SHIT WTF”😂

[@RyanCoomer]

I am a local lawn care specialists in the suburbs of Chicago. At customers homes if there is not bathroom I have to hide in the corner of there fence to go to bathroom sometime it number 2 but I cover myself with a garbage bag so no one can see me. I have tried to jiggle customers door handles for maybe I can use there bathroom but they always lock there doors smh

[@Publiksquare]

The rare perfect comment

[@i.quadmegistus5768]

Some customers’ homes don’t have bathrooms? What is going on in IL?

[@GlennPeoples]

My whole sense of humour is just me re-telling Norm's jokes.