Nostalgia Critic - Battlefield Earth

Nostalgia Critic - Battlefield Earth

[@mzytryck]

I actually saw this movie when it came out. I was ten at the time and it was the first 12-rated film I ever saw, so I was too young and excited to actually tell how terrible it was. My poor Mum saw it with me, and not only had to resist the urge to walk out of the theatre, but then listen to me saying afterwards how much I liked it. Somehow she managed to not break my little heart by telling me how shit it was / bursting out laughing, and actually joined in with my gushing. Kudos to my beloved mother for the Herculean effort of will that must have taken!

[@KingDizzo86]

Seriously, your mother SHOULD be recommended for sainthood.

[@Noondroid]

This should be a Mother's Day card.

[@EldritchTeacup]

No, seriously. Recommend her for sainthood.

[@xgray2012]

Funny, I was like 13 when this film came out, and I didn't quite get what the plot was actually about.

[@hunterspride18]

I can relate. I saw this when I was very young and I didn't catch the craptasticness until decades later.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

"What happened to you, man? You used to have strong, plentiful balls!"

[@mOnK27640]

who is that guy he fucking hilarious

[@NeoShadowWolf]

mOnK27640 Ma-Ti from Captain Planet, played by Bhargav Dronamraju.

[@nostalgiaworks5999]

Catzilla What the fans think of the new Nostalgic Critic episodes with the skits.

[@theAngryscotman]

Nostalgia Works I like it.

[@foxman105]

Nostalgia Works They're a hit or miss to be honest. Some are great some are cringey.

[@johnmanuel1698]

"While You were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME, I have been training to get peoples NAMES WRONG IN THE OSCARS."........ Someone had to do it.

[@JJstudiosES]

Actually somebody has. He was more exact though ("I was being trained to pronounce Idina Menzels Name")

[@Northernmight]

What happened to the Indian guy? I mean, he isn't a very good actor - the new extra's are, but he's just so damn likable! Bring him back!

[@islamroks11]

This man is on his way to being the successor of Nic Cage. I can feel it in my ham bones.

[@goORIOLES236]

"BATTLEFIELD *EARRRRRRTH*!!!!!"

[@islamroks11]

Brian Tully Brian. You have my sympathies for the Red Wedding.

[@anothga]

How did Psychlos take over Earth without explosives (grenades, missiles, nukes etc.)? Any kind of explosion can blow up their entire planet, they still obviously exist, therefore, the implication is that they never experimented with explosives. If you don't experiment, you cannot discover/invent new things. While I'm at it, how did Psychlos invent _guns and cannons_? Just jerking around with gunpowder (and... cannonpowder?) can potentially blow up their entire planet, annihilating their entire race. Did they _somehow_ skip the firearm level of war technology and went directly from crossbows to lasers? *How?* How in the name of ass did they manage to simply skip 500-700 years of technological progress? And don't even let me get started on accidental explosions that happen when someone mixes two wrong kinds of chemicals or when some machine suddenly gets terribly damaged.

[@tata1232484]

+anothga I think it may be a HUGE explosion, like say a nuke, would blow the whole place up, while tiny explosions may just be a bit bigger than on Earth.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

+anothga In the movie, they make it look like a ridiculous fark-up by the aliens. You know, like "whoops! No one has ever tried THAT before" but several races have already tried to teleport radioactive materials to Psychlo. The aliens have security measures already in place to deal with it. The writers were just too lazy to write the scenes for how Psychlo was destroyed, even though they had the book in their hands. The aliens DO have explosives, just not ones that rely on radioactive materials.

[@anothga]

Catzilla So, it's not _any_ kind of explosives that can blow Psychlo up, just the radioactive ones?

[@KneelB4Bacon]

+anothga Yes. In the book, Johnny learns about their chemistry and notices that they have no radioactive elements in their periodic table. On their home planet, the aliens have a powerful force field set up around their transshipment platform to contain flashbacks from incoming shipments that have radioactive material. Johnny replaces the gold Terl hides in the coffins with several powerful nukes. The nukes were powerful enough to break through the alien's force field and the chain reaction with the planets atmosphere turns the entire planet into a sun. Sounds like a lot more exciting story than what we got, huh? (The planet just blows up in the movie). The reason why the aliens never counter-attack is because their other teleportation sites in their empire continue to fire shipments to their homeworld on schedule and blow themselves up when they receive a blazing portion of stellar plasma in exchange for their shipments. (The teleporter swaps whatever you're shipping with whatever is at the destination). The aliens don't have faster-than-light communications, just the teleporters, so they can't warn each other what's happening. Also, official policy is that all transshipments go through, Psychlo. No cross-shipments are allowed. The book is pretty good and Hubbard really takes the time to set up the backstory and rules in this universe, except for a few parts when we find out why the Psychlos are so damn evil. Hubbard explains that in a very unlikely plot point that is more about his bias against psychiatry than good science fiction writing.

[@anothga]

Catzilla Thanks for the answer.

[@sidgar1]

What happened to you, man? You used to have strong, plentiful balls!

[@17joren]

I don't know why the Nostalgia Critic thinks every emotional scene needs to grab the audience. This movie is shit, but I believe the beginning scene about his dad dying or whatever was just to establish that he lost a loved one and it will drive his motivations. They used the gimmick in a dozen other movies/stories and we understand it's only there to set up the story. Batman and Babe the pig lost their parents and we understand we weren't supposed to feel attached.

[@HeartlessGorre]

Very good point

[@Link504]

In all honesty, those stories played those scenes very subtly. This was....very over the top.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

The problem with that scene is that it happens in the first five minutes of the movie and we don't even know who Jonnie IS, yet or his dad. Jonnie's dad isn't even alive in the book. The filmmakers are trying to force an emotional connection between the audience and our main character without doing any of the hard work it takes to get there. This involves writing scenes and building a relationship between Jonnie and his dad. Writing is hard work. You can't just have someone scream, "Noooooooo" and expect that cliche to work if we have no reason to care. The filmmakers were just being lazy, there.

[@17joren]

Catzilla I know, that is a very good point, and it's like what the Nostalgia Critic was getting at, but I'm saying that the emotional connection to the father isn't necessary to establish Jonnie's need for vengeance. It's just not a big deal in my opinion.

[@jacobluegering1917]

17joren Well, you know, rule of funny, know what I mean?

[@mattwho81]

At least the film ends... the book goes on from that point. It goes on and on and on... i only got half-way before giving up in despair.

[@LadyRuelleyn]

I like how he says the aliens are the most stupidest ever. While they are stupid I still dont think they compare to the one in Signs xD

[@Keurgui1]

>Weakened by water >Visits planet largely covered in Water completely unprotected Hey wanna go hike an active volcano some time?

[@jamesgreen1166]

Even better they can’t get through a wooden door

[@1f5sda]

"Battlefield Earth" was "terra-ble!"

[@DarthRushy]

Critic: Start. Making! SENSE!!! Me: Stop. Acting! Like!!! TERL!!!

[@warlock984]

Does anyone else think it was kinda cruel to blow up their homeworld? I mean, there were probably innocent civilians who may not have even supported the whole 'conquering' thing. But nope, billions upon billions of people were horribly killed because the 'heroes' needed to create their leverage or whatever.

[@aarononeil9832]

That whole comment sounds exactly like something the Critic would say. Good job.

[@NekoSoren]

Well when you have a point you have a point...still knowing how idiotic this psychlos were im pretty sure they would have exploded their own planet all by themselves -_-...still seriously, the humans pretty much performed a genocide and planetcide owo...i think that right now they wrost than the enemies they had o_o

[@thecomicnation1085]

I'm surprised that, "oh no! A demon, a monster, A BEAST! CHA!!!" Didn't become a running joke

[@ChickenPika]

God damn. John Travolta is a pretty good actor. Just watch Pulp Fiction, and you'll wonder how the fuck he did such a horrible job in this movie. It may well be bad directing, but the acting is pretty terrible as well.

[@tomasgombik3363]

ChickenPika That's probably because A. Pulp Fiction has a good script B. Good director and C. Wasn't shot by a cameraman with one leg shorter

[@FaceUnreality]

ChickenPika I think it's because Travolta knew this was a terrible movie so he just decided to do what ever he wanted, like Jeremy Irons in Dungeons and Dragon's.

[@fozzieatdetourbillnye5514]

ChickenPika Nobody could do good in a role if the script is horrible. To be honest, I don't if you scene the psycho remake but people say Vince Vaughn wasn't any good in that role and I agree with them and the thing is he really is great at playing evil quite well. The script was just poorly written and that can make all the difference.

[@TheThejayman32]

FaceUnreality Travolta had this movie made because he's a follower of the author. He has no one but himself to blame for it.

[@FaceUnreality]

Milton Jackson That I didn't know. I heard he's a Scientologist, so I guess that explains everything.

[@MsJaneMark]

Well, the book by Hubbard actually made sense most of the time and was quite well written. The reason a single bomb could blow up the Psychlo home planet was that the atmospheric gas, and the gas that Psychlos breath, reacts violently with uranium. The book gets around the "learning how to fly jets in 2 weeks" problem by have chronologic jumps, several years pass, I think, instead of several weeks. Overall, the movie just didn't have time to develop as well as the book did

[@PenguinDT]

No need to miss; He is doing new stuff pretty regularly on KZbin now. Great stuff as always.

[@Rakshasa1986]

Psychlo killer, qu'est que c'est?

[@camusunder]

Jsidhu762 Fah fah fah fah, fah fah fah fah fah better...

[@orhowilearnedtostopworryin9682]

Run, run, run, run, run run, run, run awaaaayyyy

[@TheBoobTube]

Oh Spoony, god damn you are so funny

[@somerandolad]

Yeah, I miss him too.

[@13mungoman13]

"It's a cheap cop-out, I know, but then again, I'll be high." Now THERE'S phrase I'll be using more often.

[@fjccommish]

People don't understand. In the book, leverage was it. Terl was about the only thing done well in the movie. The way he was written, and the way Travolta played him, were spot on to the character. In the book, as in the movie, he constantly mentioned leverage.

[@ForemostCrab7]

does fort knox really have all that gold? or gold at all?

[@TARINunit9]

Technically no, but in practical terms yes. Fort Knox is across the street from the US Bullion Depository, which DOES have gold in it. A LOT of gold. Probably MORE than we see in the film

[@KneelB4Bacon]

In the book "Battlefield Earth" Fort Knox is one of the first places on Earth that the aliens clean out completely. Also, Terl monitors the humans constantly to make sure they stay at the mining site. In the movie, Jonnie shows up with freaking BARS of gold with the serial numbers still on them! Terl should have figured out just from THAT alone that Jonnie has been away from the mine site, doing things he's not supposed to be doing.

[@bruceolee]

Spoony is they best

[@aManFromEarth]

thx for heads up!

[@MikePhalin]

I was working at a book store when this film was released in theatres. The Church of Scientology called a couple times during the premier and made sure we had enough copies of the book. It was really, really odd.

[@shadowdormin]

Am I the only one that thought this review was too cheesy?

[@shadowdormin]

It wasn't funny… at all

[@shadowdormin]

***** No fucking shit

[@thecomicnation1085]

Yes, yes you are

[@lukaANDkrosty]

This is maybe the most annoying nostalgia critic review... Like, Jesus... I was wearing headphones...

[@JimmySteller]

What's surprising is that Roger Christian directed this movie after having worked on the first Star Wars movie, Alien, and Life of Brian.

[@HiveOfHappenings]

His fit at 20:45 brought back fond memories of watching the Morph Files...

[@rosegarden9363]

My God....this is the dumbest sci-fi movie ever made.

[@theknightswhosayfrak]

I want this film remade with Jeffery Combs as Terl. I want Ridley Scott and Steven Speilberg to Write and Roberto Orci to design the ships, and Roland Emmerich to do the landscaping. It needs the Lord of the Rings esque origin story of how The Evil Lord Xenu used soul catchers to enslave the dead and used space planes to kill off races he didn't like.

[@OverlordNeon]

I think the beginning of this video is why I keep re-watching it xD

[@Bartman954]

You sir/madam have won the internet!

[@rachelfujotesh6141]

This review has made me consider that, perhaps, John Travoltas character is the "Invader Zim" of his respective alien race. If that were the case, his actions in this film would almost be logical.

[@Jack2X4]

Did anyone else catch the Deliverance nod with the line, "IM REALLY ANGRY"

[@comicking428]

This is definetely one of the Critic's best. I wanted to see so badly why this movie was panned and now I know why! Spoony was hilarious as well! If I ever got my friends to watch the Nostalgia Critic. THIS is the first review I would show them!

[@MaskedMarvyl]

There are three things I remember from this film, that together caused me to walk out: The woman: "I can take care of myself, you greener!" The Brit caveman waving his torch around before jabbing it at a cave drawing of an alien, while speaking (I swear) in a thick Cockney accent to the American cavemen. And finally, of course: "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" Said and filmed in super slow-mo. All this happened in the first 10 minutes, which is when I walked out.

[@theironchicken8196]

5:01 It seems perhaps we could venture forth to discover new worlds aaugh! XD

[@Juraga2]

"I'm THIS close to Kraken." The Nostalgia Critic is actually one fifth terrifying sea monster.

[@thepoliticalstartrek]

@PoemsThrenody The book was written and took a example from what we thought could happen to our atmosphere when we first tested a nuclear weapon.

[@saoirseoceallaigh3387]

Fun fact: The bomb failed to detonate. Commander Gordon 117, who was recently awakened from his decades of sleep, had to go through to deactivate the bomb, and escaped before it exploded. Sadly, he didn't get any of the credit.

[@EmoNekoChan]

I swear to God, Spoony has me cracking up every time I see him on screen in this episode. Spoony's Turle (sp?) has to be my favorite one-shot character :)

[@POLE7645]

I remember that in interviews, crew members said that John Travolra was pretty much the man in charge in this whole movie. So, no amount of talent could've saved it.

[@sintanan469]

I love how meta NC's 100th episode gets.

[@christianscogs]

We've decided to keep you here for another 50 cycles with endless options for renewal, endless options for renewal, endless options for renewal!

[@TheKosuko213]

Roger Christian actually worked on star wars and got an academy award for it.

[@Blisterdude123]

I like how all Spoony's shots are slanted like in the film. Now THAT is subtlety.

[@lauracrimson]

yup! Spoony is amazing as Turl, he's also in To Boldly Flee

[@ArthurCrane92]

I'm trying to use this line as frequently as possible

[@DarkZholt]

"Jim Carrey, William Shatner and Jerry Lewis in a Kabuki Class" Man, I would pay to see that 8D

[@CliffuckingBooth]

Im sorry for being offtopic but I think here is good place - Im searching for two movies I saw like when I was 5.The only thing I remember from the first movie is that at the beginning there some mummy laying on table in some labratory and something like wormed shape like camera starting to rise at its head.Second thing I remember that some liquit falls on somebodys head and the head starts to mutate (in stop motion like effect).And some underground like base with waterfall?I know its not much:)

[@goldrush9560]

God help the twins if he ever does. I can just see Kid, tipping the television back and forth to make the angle straight, then going crazy because the tv is tilted, and finally just breaking down

[@nerezza23]

i like how they had the scenes with spoony playing turell in an angle shot like in the movie. nice touch

[@colliric]

2:11 is obvioulsy "Plan 9 From Outer Space", which I don't recall him reviewing before!

[@Jerricola2]

I gotta say, watching him completely lose it is my favorite part of any of his videos.

[@Atheneastro]

In 'To Boldly Flee', Antwiler's verson's full name is 'Ferdinand von Terl'!

[@drummr1313]

Anyone else notice that when the critc is talking to Terl the camera on his planet is tilted? Cool touch, huh?

[@shooter2224]

5:00 that was hilarious :D

[@ozzyman75]

don't know if anyone's heard but the NC's returning. check out the vid on his website

[@WaterCrane]

I think they are meant to be Harrier Jump Jets, but even they can only hover in mid-air for a little over 60 seconds before the engines overheat.

[@HGShurtugal]

Rebels: we got the emperor now we can kill him and return peace to the galaxy. other Rebel: Or we can let him go to kill more stormtroopers.

[@Rodeorigo]

And here's to another 100 episodes of the Nostalgia Critic. Boy, if he ever quit, I dont what I would do, I just might end up going crazy and venture out on a killing spree before eventually comitting suicide or shot dead by police. But of course that will never happen because the Critic is still going good and strong...haven't seen any new videos in awhile mind. But I guess that's because he's making new ones ready to explode with all kinds of awesomeness. God, I hope he never quits :D

[@Guigley]

It does seem to be a line that could be used in many circumstances.

[@truetails1]

now you just have me imagining a nostalgia critic yahtzee cross over

[@Bartman954]

Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way. - Roger Ebert

[@AnothervsXIII]

My face when the Ma-Ti bit is shot from a different angle here than it was in the Captain Planet review.

[@classicrocker13able]

Spoony does the best impersonation of Terl.

[@tthomaselli2]

Have you seen 'Plan 9'?; I havn't seen it in a long while.

[@appabend]

I just realized that Turl is Spoony :)

[@joe88john]

There's a purpose for those scene changes to dissolve that way. This movie was OBVIOUSLY made using Microsoft Power Point.

[@paareth]

Always love this review, from start to finish :). If I were making a film, i'd have you on staff ;) I still wait for the day Hackers is reviewed, one of my childhood favorites, but a film that will be ripped to shreds :)

[@SnakeSword5353]

Oh My God the wipe is killing us. Save me SABE ME AHH. One of the best lines. As well as his mental breakdown lol awsome

[@cory6266]

Also, the aliens attacked Earth with drones armed with poison gas, they didn't confront humans directly. And that "9 minutes" of resistance was done by a troop of boy scouts, the aliens didn't know they weren't fighting actual soldiers.

[@stiggerzz]

the rooms probably soundproofed

[@FfejTball]

Rudy is from the self titled move "Rudy" about a kid who shouldn't play football, but does (and for Notre Dame), and constantly gets his ass kicked but still keeps on giving it his all. I know who I'm talking to. Clicking reply wasn't a mistake or an accident.

[@ThePlqa]

Yeah. Spoony and Linkara have common cameos in Nostalgia Critic videos.

[@AaronPhillips52]

Has Doug ever done a joke or made a statement about his neighbors coming over or calling his house to be like, 'Can you quiet down please'? or 'We heard a little girl screaming. Is everything okay?'

[@TheGreyMartin]

I think.. this is something i sould do in meetings more often.. just screaming: "START MAKING SENSE!!"

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

10:18 AAAHHH! 'Deliverance' flashbacks...

[@averystar16]

man im gonna miss him in nc reviews

[@accounttwo5144]

That was a shit ton of gold. I'd make a mansion spaceship out of it.

[@PforPZ]

But the ones in Austin Powers, I think those transitions were meant to there because of their parodying 1960s spy films on how they transition. For Inspector Gadget, it's awhile since I've seen that film.

[@chainit1]

the reason they where unable to hit the guy with all those alien weapons was they had a condition known as "Storm trooper syndrome."

[@Scoonertuna]

Yup. A whole plethora of emotions come out when we're angry that we need to be in fast motion.

[@goth9ever]

if i recall when i watched the films, its not that theres never been a explosion cirtic, its that the air they breath responds badly to radiation, its not bombs but nuclear bombs that screw them over. funny review though, GZ

[@georgekostaras]

I'm sorry he didn't put in a reference to El Capitan from Ducktales. GOLD!

[@duerksjv]

My god. Critic sounded just like a squirrel there at 21:05.

[@Scrabber598]

24:03 Their GASTRONS?! Sounds like a type of indigestion tablet.... XD

[@Skiergold]

Thank god for Nostagia Critic!

[@MrGabeanator]

NICE

[@martincann5052]

Once, someone tried to recommend the book to me. I smiled politely, nodded then once he was out of sight, twirled my finger round my head. I haven't seen him in a while...

[@marcinkapinski9537]

19:30 Those 1000 year old weapons are in pretty good shape for their age. I thought anything we made would last for more than 300 years Those jets and tanks would be rust after less than 100 years.

[@MortimerSneed]

4:08 right now im thinking of that woman from it "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

[@Cheeseisgood7789]

How are the fighter jets even still working after so long? Questions simply aren't allowed within 100 metres of John Travolta anymore.

[@SeismicSouldarkness]

The Alvin and the Chipmunks rage almost made me piss my pants! I fucking love the Nostalgia Critic! xD

[@cory6266]

I think NC missed something, or the movie didn't include an important bit from the book. One, that all the transport pads from every planet the aliens have all activate at the same time, so for a few seconds they're all linked and the blast travels through the portals to everywhere they are all at once. Two, their atmosphere isn't radioactive, it's explosively reactive to radiation. THAT is why one nuke would kill them all. That is why they need man to mine, the gold was in a radioactive area.

[@DastardlyDIamondDude]

portals. it probably used to be very normal, but progress reduced it to a radiated hellhole, sometime after the portal technology was made.

[@JLongbone]

09:30 he looks like a combination of Prince and Robert Downey Jr, put through a Tim Curry filter.

[@jaydedjen110]

This is one of those, I liked it but no one else did. I did, I gave it a shot. It pissed me off though.

[@silversoulbrony]

Has anyone ever wondered which Johnny was worse; the one from Battlefield Earth or the one from The Room?

[@onmask123]

best Nostalgia Critic episode ever