Not all parents are good | Dr. Sherrie Campbell | TEDxDanville

[@nostalgic3ctasy433]

She makes a valid point that strangers who abuse children are held to account for what they do but parents can and do get away with abusing their children

[@dr.sherrie]

Sad but true! This needs to change!

[@EvelynFluyeVida]

becase the worst wounds and betrayal didn't come from strangers, but from those who "loved" us.

[@earthlynnone7383]

Exactly.. is a horror!!!

[@TheBlondiekitten]

Yeah I have a covert narcissistic mother who should never have been allowed to have kids. She’s a perfect parent in public but a horror in private. The gaslighting is so confusing and harmful. Thank you for this xxx

[@nostalgic3ctasy433]

@@TheBlondiekitten wow

[@flipthatscriptontoxicfamil9056]

I am so thankful to her for being a voice for us survivors of these kinds of parents.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! I see you ❤

[@TheCookieAngel]

Once I got older and had sleep overs with my friends and saw how loving their parents were I sadly realized that wasn't the case for me.

[@dr.sherrie]

So relatable! I get it

[@Sru001]

Relatable I used to feel jealous for My cousins parents because they were so loving and caring

[@beatsintime]

I wasn't allowed to go for sleepovers, but sometimes friends were allowed to stay with my siblings or myself, and I got to see a loving, caring, serving, and marvelous mother, whenever someone was over. Our friends all thought my mom was awesome 💀

[@smhzenis2417]

Relatable with me

[@Kimberly82Anne]

Same!!

[@Charlize-Z]

My heart goes out to all the people who had to grow up feeling like they weren't truly loved and protected by their parents

[@icalotdonthide2646]

Thank you. ❤

[@wintherace108]

Me...I always feel I'm struggling because of my childhood mental traumas and being abused .my mom is a super uneducated woman..sorry to say......and my dad was an angry kind of person who led me towards fear in everything

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing❤

[@mariannelaney633]

Thank you for addressing this "taboo" subject. As a +20 year distancer from my family of origin, I feel incredibly validated and seen. From Professor Laney @ SCC

[@trustfactornow]

It's actually such a huge issue, especially the way it impacts people in their future relationships, when you've never felt emotionally safe it is so difficult to fully open up to someone else

[@joeboggio4002]

Watching my parents taught me to be the kind of father they were not. This is an important topic that should be discussed more, because parents should not be allowed to do whatever they feel like just because they are "family."

[@dr.sherrie]

Agreed! Cycle breakers!

[@amberfuchs398]

Dr. Sherrie is a freedom fighter, freedom from abuse, neglect, and dehumanization. Check out her books, videos, interviews, and podcast appearances. She truly "gets it" bc she lived it.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you ❤

[@maxinebennier]

I agree the societal pressure to maintain a relationship with parents even if they were abusive or neglectful is both overwhelming and damaging. I would love to see more discussions like this that shine a light on just how common that is.

[@Cristinact]

Dr Sherrie's book "But... it's Your Family...!" and her daily reflections on social media have helped me heal from my toxic relatives. I am so glad to see her here in such a relevant Talks Forum.

[@dr.sherrie]

I am honored to represent us ❤

[@kimedison6677]

Amen to Dr. Cambell. She does not accept the common excuses from abusive parents. She holds them accountable, 100%.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!

[@gilliandunn5087]

Where I grew up abuse was often disguised under the banner of "Every parent should be able to raise their children as they see fit."

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing❤

[@i_am_nickid85210]

Thank you Dr. Sherrie❤. I am reading your books now… it’s time for ME to heal and grow, even in my 50s😢

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome! It’s never too late. It means 45 years!

[@rhymes-stories]

Very powerful, may the old us all be healed from past abusive parents.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!! Our voices are now being heard! ✨

[@IAmTheRealMagicMan]

At the end of the day though this just speaks to how messed up we are as a society, how much trauma there is, and how that sits with people and affects their ability to just be happy and joyous people.

[@nostatus4me]

I like that this isn't just about highlighting the problem but also offering a pathway towards healing and breaking the cycle of abuse. That's the kind of stuff we need.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!

[@Favekillertunes]

I get what she's saying and there can be so much emotional abuse that happens from unstable parents because LITERALLY ANYONE can be a parent. That's what's crazy to me.

[@dr.sherrie]

Exactly ! literally ANYONE!

[@ellinorglorioso2247]

AND our current culture is forcing women to have babies they don't want. Also ,I see many women have too many children to care for them well.Current society is causing overpopulation...and one where these children will be abused via neglect,poverty and worse. Delinquence in young adults is what society will reap with this kind of upbringing.

[@debbiekillewald8384]

Thank you for speaking up. I had 2 abusive parents. One was actually dangerous for me.

[@dr.sherrie]

I had two abusive parents as well. I get it ❤

[@hermesn]

Oh my yes, the unpredictability of it all. I remember that part all too well

[@dr.sherrie]

The lack of predictability was the only painful constant. I see you

[@JenLake-z3m]

When I knew better, I did better. So thankful for this information and breaking cycles even though it hasn’t been in a conventional way.

[@madisongrace9146]

It's heartbreaking to think about all the children suffering from emotional abuse. This talk was a real eye-opener in terms of how common it all really is

[@vasttrouble5368]

I got chills when she said "I am my message. My message chose me." What a powerful way to frame her experiences.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! ❤

[@buddyfranks]

I'm shocked by the things her dad said to her... that goes beyond toxic that's legit insane

[@soulfulgardener]

Im doing this healing work right now, at age 52, after letting go of the relationship with my parents, who have always been emotionally manipulative and abusive. Thank you for speaking out for us, I feel seen and heard💙

[@dr.sherrie]

I do see you and hear you. I am also you ❤

[@wintherace108]

Love and strength to u❤

[@Elusive-Khan]

This hits close to home for so many of us.

[@dr.sherrie]

It really does ❤

[@Pixel-Lord]

No child should have to master the "eggshell walk" of living with an unpredictable, emotionally abusive parent. My heart breaks for anyone who can relate

[@dr.sherrie]

Exactly! ❤

[@horacefriester]

I think the saddest part is a lot of them probably don't even realize how negatively they're affecting their children.

[@StarfireStarleena]

So often we are pressured to forgive abusive family members instead of giving them the space to heal and protect themselves. Forgiveness doesn't always mean staying connected.

[@dr.sherrie]

Exactly!

[@shastahasta]

Such courage in sharing her personal experience, and it shows how often there are hidden struggles within "perfect" family images.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!

[@fitrawanindra4148]

I have parents who are difficult to explain, they like to control, like to regulate, like to spoil my things, they lie, they like to say the wrong things, I really can't stand it all 😢

[@makeitso1017]

I'm so glad to see someone talking about this because yes, it is incredibly common and people shouldn't be made to feel guilty in terms of how they feel towards their parents and wanting to cut them out of their lives

[@chrisstopes9756]

Dr. Sherrie is such a voice of compassion, reason, and hope for so many people learning how to overcome and heal from parental abuse and trauma. So thankful to have found her!

[@dr.sherrie]

I am equally as thankful ! Sending lots of love ❤️

[@sergeymarushckin]

It's so refreshing to hear someone speak the truth about the myth of perfect parents. At the end of the day parents are just people and no one person is perfect.

[@Chann223]

She is speaking so much truth!! I know everything she is speaking on from experience. The world needs to pay heed to this message so much. How much different our world would be if we could have healthy and whole parents raising children, and the secret to that: bringing up children that are unharmed and truly loved by their parent/guardians.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!! Totally agree!

[@Khosenit]

I agree. This was my experience also. At the end of their lives, I made peace with them, but I also saw that their actions had consequences, and it wasn't my job to save or rescue them from those consequences. It was freeing and empowering to stop trying to help them, because they didn't want my help. I gave them love at the end, but I could not absolve them of their guilt, in how they treated me. I watched them die as they had lived, treasuring what they loved (themselves), and trashing the one who loved them (me).

[@dr.sherrie]

Love this! Thank you for sharing! ♥️

[@saturnsrings3608]

She said something about the unpredictability of her days that really spoke to my truth. A lot of the time it was the not knowing what I was going to get from day to day and now that I'm grown I see that comes from how unstable my parents were in their own mental health

[@2ndchanceisthebestchance]

The statistics she shared were staggering. I had no idea that one in four adults cut ties with their parents at some point... goes to show the importance of conversations like this.

[@dr.sherrie]

And those statistics are only what is reported. Imagine that number if we considered how many don’t report !

[@trinity5842]

Again leaving a comment for anyone who needs to see this, I hope that this wonderful woman gets more credit for her brave and honest work. I feel seen for the first time as most professional bodies do not recognise or care for people like us. I am glad that this is becoming more mainstream because the shame and guilt one can go through is not necessary. May this woman be blessed all the days of her life. I am eternally grateful ❤

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! This means so much ❤

[@maverickvassallo]

I sent this to someone as a wake up call, they messaged me back and said she knew who needed to see this, and thought I was sending it to her to judge the other person - WOW

[@sonny-johnson]

The Hotel California analogy is so real. Some are forever trapped in unhealthy dynamics.

[@dr.sherrie]

Yes! ❤

[@brooksharlow]

Sometimes the manipulation from parents is subtle. It wasn't until I relayed a story to my wife of how my mother lied to me when I was very young (she said a toy I loved was given to a child in a wheelchair to see if I was selfless enough to be glad for someone less fortunate and that I wasn't attached to material things) that I realized that this kind of test and the withholding of love unless I did what they wanted happened throughout my childhood.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you for sharing this! This type of emotional abuse is sickening

[@IAmTheNeuroticSpy]

I had no idea there were so many children of emotional abuse let alone that they needed so much support. Definitely sharing this one

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you for helping to spread the word!

[@leekaygraphics]

Excellent presentation, Dr Sherrie! Such powerful words about a taboo subject. I'm picturing the many people in that audience who were holding back tears...

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!! Yes many were in tears. It was a really special experience. They felt seen. How beautiful is that?!😭❤️

[@rustyacton]

As someone who struggled with a difficult family situation, this is both painful and validating. Emotional abuse leaves scars that last a lifetime, even if no one can see them.

[@dr.sherrie]

Yes!

[@hazelttan]

it's so true about breaking the cycle. thank you for being a voice for what is unheard and tampered down as taboo.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome

[@joopanders]

Choosing to protect yourself is the bravest thing someone can do!

[@dr.sherrie]

It absolutely is!

[@joopanders]

@@dr.sherrie truth!!!

[@UncleUnivers]

I can't tell you how validating this is to hear, thank you.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome ❤

[@EveningTV]

Thank you for addressing this taboo topic. I have been estranged from my family ever since they and my sociopathic ex husband (actually diagnosed aspd/npd) abandoned me in the midst of a health crisis and went about destroying my life when I was at my most vulnerable moment, unable to defend or protect myself, and needed love and support more than ever before. This was over twenty years ago and the abuse and neglect toward me and my children continued. They continued a relationship with my abuser to this day. Of course, they quickly started telling a victim story.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re so welcome ❤

[@whosagoodboyimagoodboy]

I grew up in a household where emotional abuse was the norm, and it's validating to hear someone acknowledge that not all parents are good. It's also just incredible to hear it be spoken about

[@dr.sherrie]

I see you ❤

[@whosagoodboyimagoodboy]

@@dr.sherrie ❤ thank you.

[@58vette]

I appreciate the focus on accountability and changing societal narratives around parenting. It's not just about identifying and bringing attention to an issue but actively working towards a solution that respects and protects children.

[@thephilosopher59]

This is a very serious topic and one that in many cases continues to travel for generations. It's heart warming and shocking to hear this kind of honesty. We shouldn't be surprised by the parenting images we are served. In the matters of human existence, we all look a bit glossy and glossed over in the name of successful lives and living the dream. Nobody wants to hear about the nightmares. Yet here we are, thank you for your opening this conversation!

[@dr.sherrie]

So beautifully stated! Thank you

[@RantrumDiva]

My heart goes out to people who had to deal with these kinds of situations at home. In some ways it's worse than physical ab*se because it's less obvious and harder to explain how dangerous it is

[@dr.sherrie]

On point! Thank you!

[@georgiarouse]

That is so true. Thank you for speaking publicly about this. It is a taboo subject in my family.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome ❤

[@raulascaso]

As someone who's lived through similar experiences, this talk felt like a voice for the voiceless. It's comforting and empowering to know you're not alone in your struggles

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!! Cycle breakers unite! ❤

[@ameyhousten]

This is such a great talk. I cut off contact with my parents and it's really encouraging to hear someone talking about setting boundaries and prioritizing mental health.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!

[@Marcycat7]

Emotional abuse leaves a lot of scars. Their was no help at all. Then the beatings. I agree with the truth of your message. I know exactly what you are saying. 🎉❤😊

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you ❤🎉

[@thisisjustright]

Every parent leans into the idea that because they brought you into the world it means that you're in debt to them regardless of how you were raised.

[@dr.sherrie]

Exactly!

[@ellinorglorioso2247]

Amazing isn't it?

[@doyelmasanta474]

I can't stress enough just how validating and personal this talk felt. Thank you TEDx Talk.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank YOU ❤

[@clairlovesjesus314]

Great talk Dr Sherrie! I really felt this. Unfortunately I had 0 parenting skills because I was the scape goat of a dysfuntional family. Oh how I regret that it didn’t stop with me in time for my own children. I was still running from it at the time. The abuse continues until today. My own children are into some very dark stuff . And I know that how they turned out is my fault. I pray for them daily and the sorrow continues because my family has brain washed them against me. So I get it from every angle. Its like sitting in a bull ring and holding your breath because you never know whose going to hit you next

[@kimberlyholley4478]

I love dr sherrie so much! she has helped me remain guarded and optimistic about my situation. cycle breakers unite!

[@dr.sherrie]

I love you back!! ❤ thank you!

[@GoldenImpNotorious]

Yessss! Thank you for your powerhouse fire truth telling!!!! Thank you for your thoughtful, clear-eyed advocacy for changing the culture that keeps destroying so many of us for the sake of enabling abusers!!!

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome ❤

[@flipthatscriptontoxicfamil9056]

Thank you for all that you are doing to break the cultural myths regarding family. You put it so succinctly when in one of your books you stated that abusive people exist and families are made up of people so therefore there is such a thing as having abusive family members.

[@donthegiese]

One of the last things that happened before I went no contact was my mother telling me to just deal with it when I was crying out of frustration after having several strokes and being in a wheelchair... I couldn't do anything for myself and she not only told other people in my family to not reach out via social media (my only place of contact for lots of my family) but kept saying stuff along the lines of this being my life now and to just get used to it even though my doctors were saying I'd be able to make a full recovery. It was awful going through all of that but the positive I got from it was having the courage to finally cut her out after the way she acted throughout all of it

[@dr.sherrie]

Sending you so much love ❤

[@LaMariposaSedosa]

I gope you are doing better.

[@parkercbowles]

So much of this story is really sad and heavy but I'm glad she's sharing it, I feel like it will really help others who have gone through the same thing be assured that they're not crazy or bad people for feeling how they do towards their parents

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! I agree ❤

[@Joyspout]

I think even just creating dialogue around this issue is a huge positive. Sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own trauma they can't see how they're in turn abusing and manipulating.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! It’s time!

[@Joyspout]

@@dr.sherrie yes it is, thank you

[@talicarson]

This is such a thought-provoking topic and honestly one of the better TEDx's I've seen lately.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! Appreciate it!

[@jackbenns]

never a better title for so many

[@Zumbale3]

Powerful! Thank you Dr Sherrie for leading the way for us cycle breakers.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re very welcome!!! We are being heard! 🎉❤

[@heatherlynch6003]

Thank you Dr. Sherrie. Your words pull me out of a dark place and back into the light. After decades of abuse, when I'm not feeling strong her years of gaslighting start to seep back in, and I return to thinking that it's all my fault. I've turned to your work in the past to pull me out of that mindset and I know I will use this powerful and validating video to do so again in the future. Thank you for standing up for all of us.

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re so welcome! Thank you for this message!

[@TheSouthIsHot]

The worst treatment I have ever received is from family members.

[@dr.sherrie]

I see you!

[@a.pologar5623]

So healing and validating. My gratitude to you is immense. Your courage is inspiring.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you! I appreciate your message !

[@mikethesailor]

The thing that really gets me is how much my mom wants to be a part of my life now, after her being pretty much uninterested in anything I did as a kid and teenager. I don't know that she was abusive in the way that a lot of other folks in here are talking about but I just never felt like she was a mom the way my friends moms were if that makes sense

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing❤

[@dr.sherrie]

Makes total sense !

[@bobkat1911]

This woman gets me.

[@Wise-me1]

I am one of such a victim, specially from my "mother." Thanks!!!

[@dr.sherrie]

I see you ❤

[@Wise-me1]

@@dr.sherrie Thanks for your thoughtful reply, I appreciate it.

[@hmmhmmhmm3]

Fantastically powerful speech, Dr. Sherrie. You are a voice of reason, accountability, strength and advocacy. Viva “DNA!"

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!!

[@michealrighini]

"Your parents couldn't have been that bad, you turned out okay." absolutely guts me. To think that people managed to become well adjusted humans DESPITE their parents and then have those efforts undermined like that. So infuriating.

[@dr.sherrie]

Louder for the people in the back!

[@TracieJLee]

Incredibly moving and insightful. Her point about societal cognitive dissonance when it comes to accepting that parents can be abusers is spot on.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!

[@dnk4559]

Thank you Dr. Sherrie! I hit the jackpot with my parents. I’m so thankful this is being discussed on TedTalk!

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you ❤

[@themarybasse]

I wish I could like this more than just once. It's such a great message. I cut contact with my parents and it's so validating to hear this kind of talk . People should be encouraged to prioritize their mental health and whatever boundaries we put in place to keep it.

[@dr.sherrie]

I see you ❤

[@harrietthornton5328]

Powerful, powerful, powerful.

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!

[@Chelsea-Chelsea]

And that is the truest statement ever

[@marrim5321]

I feel validated. This is such an important message.

[@dr.sherrie]

❤

[@jacquelinehogan3313]

FINALLY someone is talking about this! Bad parents need to be held accountable, period.

[@LibertyB356]

Outstanding and incredibly validating! Thank you and I will share this every chance I get. ❤️

[@dr.sherrie]

I am so happy this was validating ! I get it ❤

[@lollo-lia]

I loved how she emphasized the importance of listening to children. Their voices matter 💙

[@dr.sherrie]

Yes!!!

[@lollo-lia]

@@dr.sherrie 😀😀😀

[@adelinarose7941]

Thank you Sherrie you saved my life!

[@dr.sherrie]

Aww thank YOU ❤

[@shuushuulin]

This is why any couple thinking about having children should get counselling first.

[@MountainMama1970]

Excellent presentation Sherrie! You are my voice up there & for so many! Cycle breakers we are!!

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!! It’s time we are heard 🎉❤

[@sherylrinkler]

I think sometimes people just have no idea how to communicate and properly love other people... and it's sad when this happens between parents and children but if a parent isn't willing to do the work on themselves to fix it well they should be prepared to deal with being cut off

[@dr.sherrie]

Well said!

[@theevolvingmindset333]

Thank you for this Dr. Sherrie!

[@dr.sherrie]

You’re welcome !

[@justsewit_tk5477]

Brilliant! I know you were incredibly nervous but excited about doing this speech Dr Sherri. Congratulations on this wonderful and powerful ted talk!

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!

[@sherandawheeler5819]

Thank you so much Dr Sherrie ❤ I appreciate your message and am living as a cycle breaker. I listened to my child and got out.

[@dr.sherrie]

💪🏻❤ love this!

[@kendalllrose]

Parents love to think that they were wonderful parents and that any good that they did somehow deletes the bad.

[@dr.sherrie]

Spot on!

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing❤

[@RafaelZCruz]

I think a huge reason for this is the amount of people that just had babies because it was the expected thing to do when realistically they probably had no desire or instinct for it

[@4EverTheirDefender]

You rocked the house Sister! And you rock my world … Such an intelligent, passionate, healing force for us all! Thank you so very much Dr. Sherri 🙏💥💫

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you so much! I am so happy this spoke to you!!! 🎉❤

[@CelestialCentric]

I'm not a parent, but raising a child seems very difficult to do it well. I think all parents are doomed to make mistakes

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing❤

[@anumi-techniques2470]

Powerful and strong, a deserving and genuinely authentic ambassador. ❤ You speak a truth that only those who have experienced suffering of this kind will truly understand. You lead the way for the rest of us to heal and become cycle breakers. much love and gratitude 🙏❤️🙏

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!! I appreciate the feedback and support ❤🎉

[@EvelynFluyeVida]

Wonderful dear Sherrie. So blessed that I found your books and you on 2023. 💕

[@dr.sherrie]

Thank you!!! 🎉

[@amayaroonie2166]

I think the saddest part in all of it is the love element. As people all we want is to feel loved, even if it's coming from a person who is deeply flawed.

[@dr.sherrie]

Very true!

[@healingways2293]

Great Talk. Escaped seven years ago at the age of 50. Been hunted ever since. Were able to convince pretty much anyone I ever knew that I was issue. I have lost everything. Thank you for bringing awareness. Maybe it will be different in the future.

[@dr.sherrie]

I’ve been out for 8 years. Left at 45. I’m so happy this resonated with you!