Not Dating A Fat Woman Is Fatphobic

[@therealmspiggy9711]

I’ve been fat all of my life and never have I ever thought that all men should like me. I respect that men aren’t attracted to me because of my weight, as long as they don’t disrespect me idc. I’m not attracted to all men, so why should all men be attracted to me?? That’s just entitlement.

[@Babesinthewood97]

Haha true. We all have a preference

[@mlamarana]

Facts!!

[@neen42]

Who expects everyone to be attracted to them, regardless of weight? Even the most conventionally attractive people aren't everyone's cup of tea.

[@disneygirl8694]

Yeah that’s like incel mentality. I def get the fear of people not liking you because of your side but I’ve seen so many big people dating and doing amazing at work because they’re confident and nice people

[@megsley]

​@@disneygirl8694 I have plenty of fat nerd friends who are happily married to other fat nerds - I think the problem with alot of these female fat acceptance influencers is that they don't want to date fat men they only want hot buff dudes 😂

[@DanielleStarry]

“Date me or you’re ___phobic” gives strong incel vibes. Guilting people into dating you is weird and grody

[@pisstakecentral]

"date me or you are r4cist"

[@JessieHTX]

I’ve gotten a “Date me or you’re homophobic” once. 😂

[@SydneyCarton2085]

Entitlement is what it is. No one is entitled to sex or attraction. There are kids born with deformities who are involuntarily celibate and your inconsiderate perpetuation of that term implies that sex is everything. Grow up and maybe do not bash people with immutable characteristics.

[@velvetvulpix]

Did y’all watch the video no one said that lol only one girl talked even talked about dating and she didn’t say anything about people having to be attracted to her Clickbait

[@ragepig1059]

They talked about sx and attraction like it's a civil rights issue, something they missed out on because of the unfairness of it all...

[@lisa489]

I know from first hand experience how absolutely shitty it feels when you think no one will ever love you or wanna date you. But you know what's worse? Having someone date you not because they like you, but bc they want to be "not fatphobic"

[@Treerootz1]

I don’t think anyone cares about being called fat phobic. It means nothing

[@pisstakecentral]

Society doesn't care about someone "fatshaming" people. Don't act like any backlash will come anyone's way for literally abusing fat people. And no I'm not fat it's just reality, society tells you who matters and who doesn't and everybody go's along with it

[@taylorbug9]

​@@pisstakecentral that's just untrue.

[@pisstakecentral]

@@taylorbug9 that's just untrue isn't a retort

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@@pisstakecentralFatshaming is more unacceptable than it has ever been. There are certainly people who find it unacceptable. But not wanting to date a fat person isn't fat shaming them.

[@OK-pc1nt]

Why would people want to try and guilt people into dating an obese person when there is no attraction ..?

[@taylorbug9]

Because they want love but they don't want to truly love themselves.

[@amberinthemist7912]

They are very narcissistic. They also often want fit guys who put effort into their health but don't want to do the same.

[@ariesbaby5672]

Right…if someone isn’t attracted to me I would never try to convince them why they should be attracted to me, because I’m secure in myself. The last person that I would want is someone who finds me unattractive, it’s very strange.

[@shycurves82]

Yes because overweight people are a monolith 🤔

[@_Mamimi]

Right? I’m very petite woman with almost no figure (pretty much the body of a 12 year old boy) I would hate to be with someone who isn’t attracted to my body type. I would constantly feel insecure. There are men out there who like my body type and those are the men I want to date

[@13zaphikel]

For me losing weight really did "fix" most of the problems that I had. Not because I "took up less space" but because I learned discipline and I realized I could apply that to every other aspect of my life. Getting in shape made me understand how much influence I could have over the trajectory of my own life. I am so much healthier for it and I'm so glad I did that for myself.

[@staycurious51]

That's awesome! It really is the keypoint...the stronger you feel, the more empowered you are going to be and all the more willing to take on challenges 😊

[@13zaphikel]

@Kirsten Chavez exactly! Too many people focus on the looks aspect or "taking up space" or whatever but what really matters is being and feeling HEALTHY and resilient! Being able to have discipline for yourself only brings you good things. In so many more ways than just looking better or being objectively more romantically desirable.

[@hannah-6080]

It is possible to have discipline and also be fat at the same time

[@13zaphikel]

@hannah-6080 I never said that it wasn't. But for me personally being fat was the result of not having any discipline

[@julisacastillo574]

I’ve been obese most of my life. My heaviest was 340lbs, lost nearly 150 lbs in a year, gained it all back in the following 2 years during Covid. And now I’m back to losing weight in a sustainable way, smaller increments of loss each week, balancing my eating and exercising with a personal trainer. I’ve lost about 50lbs in the last 9 months. All I can tell you is the feeling of being able to bend your legs/sitting cross cross without them hurting was enough for me to want to get to a healthy BMI, at a sustainable rate.

[@art.65367]

👏👏👏

[@DanielleStarry]

Way to go! I’m proud of you!

[@alice_rabbit8345]

Well done!

[@TheMagicOwL127]

you should be proud of yourself! ❤🎉😊

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Congratulations! That's some incredible work right there!

[@fab3607]

As a former fat person, I can never date somebody who is fat. Because it is a negative influence and I don’t want to go back to my old bad habits

[@Copeandseethe822]

​@@alwmwo9286honestly it's legitimately sad that women are being made unhealthy in certain Arabic countries just to attract the male gaze.

[@girlsdrinkfeck]

yeah itll be like being an alcoholic and u recovered , then u date an alcoholic

[@GameOn71213]

The lady who wrote the book the black lady sitting in the back with the pink dress she's not fat tho, that's curvy..I feel like people need to be put on the proper catagory, underweight, skinny, curvy, chubby, fat, obese and morbidly obese

[@Copeandseethe822]

@@GameOn71213 she's not obese but it's a lie to say she's just "curvy" too. That implies that her waist curves in. Hers don't.

[@yourlocalofficechair7953]

My ex was a big guy and only liked junk food. That itself wasn't an issue at all but he considered me counting calories as "disordered" and gave me a talk w his anorexic sister ab how I was going down the same path. THAT was an issue

[@Shirx.ley7]

After losing 65 pounds in the last 4 months I’ve realized that it’s not weightloss that is solving my problems or making me happy, it’s the new life I live of fullness, movement, and love for myself. I feel stronger in so many ways and I’m so fulfilled.

[@annababana]

Yes, I've lost 90 pounds, still have 50 to go.....but what initially started as purely weightloss, is now true pleasure of working out and feeling stronger, healthier and just generally better. Weightloss is now the byproduct of moving my body and eating in a balanced way. Congrats to you BTW 👏 ❤ glad you're feeling great!

[@Shirx.ley7]

@@annababana yes mam exactly I feel the same way! Thank you and CONGRATS to you too!! 🙏🏽🎊🙌🏼

[@justintrudeau2464]

🎉🎉🎉well done.🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@hdw237]

That's an incredible achievement. I've lost 37lbs over past year. I want to get another 40 off (preferably quicker then a year). Any advice?

[@Shirx.ley7]

@@hdw237 the main peice of advice I have is to consistently give whatever effort you can as long as it’s at least 1% effort. Some days I can give 100%, some days I can only give 1% , but I never give zero like before. I consistently do what I can because consistency breeds results. So many times I didn’t feel like going to the gym and I might not have burned as many calories or went as hard as before but I went and I did it anyway regardless of my feelings. Feelings are temporary. Consistency is dedication. Delayed gratification is a hard concept when you don’t have self discipline because it may take you a year of effort to lose the 40 pounds but if you’re truly committed to your goal then the length of time won’t matter.

[@angelwings1]

I thought we had freedom of choice? It’s like saying if I don’t date the same sex then I’m homophobic. We’re allowed preferences!

[@megsley]

look at what's happening to lesbians these days - if a lesbian says she's only attracted to biological females, the internet alphabet mafia will crucify her for being a bigot just because she's not attracted to bio males. make it make sense!

[@TrueNorthLocks]

Totally! I've been called transphobic/fatphobic so many times because I won't date those groups, but I have nothing wrong with the person! I'm just not physically attracted to that.

[@rowan5796]

​@Chrissy Stewart I mean if you happen to not be attracted to someone who's trans that's fine, but if you are attracted to someone and then find out that they're trans and then find them unattractive based on that, you should maybe introspect as to why that is. If there are like tangible reasons in which their being trans would impact a relationship with them, then that's not transphobia, but if it's just the awareness that they are trans that you find unattractive... then what could that be aside from prejudice towards trans people?

[@megsley]

​@@rowan5796 stop telling people to examine themselves because they have a dating preference. if they don't wanna date a trans person then LET THEM BE.

[@StephanieDonelow]

​@@rowan5796So you want a lesbian to force herself to be with a Biological man that identifies as a woman? That sounds a little homophobic.

[@Briman242]

I don’t care if your bloodwork is good and you “feel” good as an obese person… you’ll feel even better at a healthy bmi

[@tommylucatiel7911]

I don't think people with type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, fatty liver disease, and the inability to walk long distances or up stairs understand what feeling good is. As a former obese person, and not nearly as huge as these poor souls, it was like having wet sand weighing down my entire body.

[@YolandaisYolandaCooks]

That's not always true. I lost over 100 pounds, and I felt horrible mentally, emotionally, and physically. My body was depleted of every mineral and vitamin necessary to feel good. Low on protein as well, but I was told to get healthy. There are ways to lose weight and be healthy during the process, but when you have people in your face telling you where you need to be and you do it at all costs, you may not feel better. I restarted my journey after gaining it all back again, and this time, I don't care what others say. Its my journey in my time, even if it takes 20 years! Keep your opinions and your well-meaning medical advice to yourself. Fat people know that they are fat without you telling them.

[@Edward_Strong1982]

@@tommylucatiel7911 I agree. Although I still have ways to go I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started losing weight. I noticed I was able to do more without getting winded, I could run across the street without pain in my shins, etc etc. I felt light now and it feels really good no to mention my clothes are more comfortable

[@HallsofAsgard96]

@@tommylucatiel7911 " wet sand weighing down my entire body" that's a really good description it does feel like that most days

[@Briman242]

@@YolandaisYolandaCooks what? I never said skinnier or leaner = healthier. It clearly sounds like you got addicted to the number on the scale dropping so much that you weren’t giving your body what it needed… but hey maybe I’m just assuming and should keep my mouth shut

[@ximar0ckstrx]

I love the "vessel for my soul" comment. I relate to it. Especially after have survived a stroke at the age of 38 due to my morbid obesity. It took almost dying for me to learn to love and appreciate my body. I'm 100lbs down now. Never going back

[@DanielleStarry]

Way to go! Congratulations on your achievements!

[@iyanubanks100]

My goodness gracious. 😧

[@eslavicky4432]

I’m glad you survived and took control of what you are able to do 👏👏👏👏

[@cosmicreef5858]

Yeah being over weight just sucks. It holds you back, it is a burden. I am very glad that you have given another chance! I wish you a great life!

[@drystkrab269]

Curious what weight u were when u had the stroke? My friend lost 150 lbs but they came down from 350 and apparently, they are still at high-risk becoz being 350 would've done some irreversible damage.

[@jabc4748]

Nobody owes anybody, their body. Ever. Forced attraction is a horrendous thought and to be honest, if a man spoke this narrative, we’d appropriately push back. Also- I was skinny with an ED and had acne and was robbed of my teen years too. No prom. No dates. No bf. I missed out BUT I decided to not live in the past about this… your life doesn’t end in HS, there’s lots of life left. None of this invalidates these women’s feelings or experience, but I do agree that the best way to deal with these triggers, is to not look to other’s behaviors but to look inward. You’ll never be able to change others all the time… so take your life back!

[@catlover2223]

Great attitude! Hope you’re living your best life now!

[@FitnessSweets]

Men do talk like this. They think they are owed access to a woman’s body because they did the bare minimum and paid for dinner. Lol.

[@autumnh5027]

Fitness Sweets lol right? “If men talked like this”…. Literally more than half of them do and people constantly make excuses for them

[@jabc4748]

@@autumnh5027 no no. You are misunderstanding what my point was. Boy, do I know men talk like this! All the time. Incels and all that. And we tend to correctly call it out. As we should. There isn’t always this energy for women who have this mentality. Maybe it’s because it’s less common in women ? So, my point wasn’t to insinuate that men don’t do this, it’s to call out the inconsistency with the idea that anyone, regardless of gender, never owes anybody their body or their time. Doesn’t matter what you lol like… fat, thin, tall, short, man, woman, non binary pals. That’s my point. I think it’s dangerous to perpetuate the incel ideology

[@ihatesaf]

@@FitnessSweetsthen don’t let them pay for you lol

[@alice_rabbit8345]

I was thin and cute in high school but very shy. I didn’t date or go to prom. It’s really not that important. I’d be interested in knowing what these ladies’ preferences are as far as dating. I’m sure there’s some type of “-“ phobic going on with them as well.

[@megsley]

None of them date fat men - hmm, I wonder why 🤔

[@Vexarax]

I was thin too and even 'ideal body shape' in my hips and chest as a teen - but was targeted relentlessly by kids and teachers alike, never had anyone ''like me back'', would never have been asked to prom as anyone would be humiliated to be seen with me. These big ladies in the video act like they're the only ones who experience these horrible things but bullies will target anyone if they can find a weakness :c I was labelled the ugliest and weirdest kid and got stuck with that my entire school life, and am now a total social recluse due to the trauma I still experience from what happened in the past. It's so frustrating the way they talk about ''thin privilege'' etc as though merely being thin absolves us of all bullying and cruelty Y_Y I'm 35 now and have had ONE boyfriend my entire life (who abused me terribly and was 14 years older than me, I had just turned 18 when I met him) and have now been single and celibate since 2011. I don't EXPECT anyone to date me and totally understand why they wouldn't because I'm a mess who cannot function regardless of my size. Sorry to rant, the entitlement of these women in the video just made me so mad lol - released a lot of pent up anger just now Y_Y

[@GrandisArcanum]

"was" cute? still are!

[@pascualmartinez9702]

I can tell u , none of these women would date their male counterpart , i was fat during my teenage years , talked to many fat girls cause i thought i couldnt talk to skiny girls , and still none if these fat woman wanted to date me while some skinny Girls cared less about my weight that the fat girls, so yeah imo obviously fat acceptance is a movement only for white fat women , but not for the rest of us

[@Danny_Deleto]

Didn't go to prom and still don't date. And I work out five days a week and meal prep, I'm far from overweight. But, if I did date, I wouldn't feel entitled to people finding me attractive, that's just ridiculous. The only thing holding themselves back is themselves.

[@coldfire22]

When the one woman said her body was an accessory "in America" made me laugh a little. When I visit the US (haven't lived there in over 20 years) but am SHOCKED at how normal obesity is. I'm in my mid 40s, 182cm tall and weigh around 85kgs. I lift 3-5 days a week and get 12.5K steps in on average every day. I am currently fasting two days a week as well. I work hard to stay at a healthy weight.. and my bmi says I'm pre-obese as it is. BUT I got back to the US and so many people say "Oh my God, you are so skinny. You need to eat more!" And my wife.. oh god.. she is a perfectly healthy weight, but gets it all the time as well. She loves it as she never heard that here in Japan, but in the US "you're so skinny" is all she hears. If anyone as large as these women were in Japan, they would have a VERY hard time. The US is just too numb to obesity. Fat is the norm there. Sure the "fitness industry" pushes a crazy image.. I mean, I don't know what a natural healthy male in his 40s should look like. All I see are Mike O'Hearns and Greg Doucettes, which I mean, come on.. that isn't a what a guy like me could ever look like at this point in my life. I guess Vitruvian Physique is as close as I could get, but he isn't in his 40s. All the other fitness guys are very young and likely not natural at all.

[@shelby8101]

As someone who went to prom, you didn’t miss much 😂

[@purplecrayonismine2585]

Literally like, did she think it was gonna be like the met gala or something? Like sorry you missed some bad food and over diluted drinks at your school gym lol. My highschool graduation was fun, but it was just a party, they did rent a place and everything but it was not a rite or passage or anything, the robe and diploma event was that

[@karacoconutag]

Lol same

[@charlottescat4481]

The school formal was as boring as batshit.

[@roxy4325]

T.V makes prom and homecoming seem like EVERYTHING and all it was was a royal waste of my time! I was so ready to dance it out on the dance floor and the music was trassssshhhhhhh

[@13zaphikel]

Seriously! My prom sucked. They played shitty music and everyone was basically just dry humping each other in nice clothes rather than dancing 😒

[@neimansmith9960]

One of the things people don't discuss is the families that enable obesity in children. We have 4 examples on stage. Children don't buy food for the house or prepare all the meals & portions. Their parents did the enabling but received none of the blame

[@Lackingwanderlust]

I entered the dating pool at 55 and met the person of my dreams. It’s never too late!

[@ChronicallyAmused]

Thank you. I'm in a relationship myself, and I know that being older dating isn't exactly easy. Still, it's always a good idea to venture out and be happy!

[@auryn684]

I love this 🙌🏼 I’m 38 and dating is rough out here - but I’m determined not to give up! And your comment helps ❤️

[@MicrowaveCheese33]

Your super brave then. I stopped dating at 38. Don't regret it one bit wish I started that when I started dating! But everyone is different and wish you and all the best!

[@Lackingwanderlust]

@@auryn684 hang in there. I never expected this at my age, so you just never know!

[@Lackingwanderlust]

@@MicrowaveCheese33 I divorced at 44 and pretty much swore off men. I get why not dating can be the best option. I think all the years alone allowed me to know myself and be open to another person. You will know when - and if - the time is right!

[@megsley]

I hear so much about boundaries these days, but it seems like the people screaming about boundaries the most are the same people who wanna shame others for not being sexually attracted to them.

[@cosmicreef5858]

The same people who want to cross boundaries. How disgusting.

[@jneilson7568]

Bingo.

[@Vishnuk-fe9iv]

Pretty sure it's the women who shame others and not Men.

[@cnik7802]

I love cottage cheese, especially in a salad with hard-boiled eggs and balsamic vinegar. A person can refuse to date someone for any reason whatsoever. You don't have to justify to anyone who you are or are not attracted to.

[@lt.2992]

I’m literally eating cottage cheese and ritz toasted chips as I watch this 😂

[@CeceMEFit]

RIGHT?! Like what did cottage cheese do to them?

[@JenBabyJen]

@@CeceMEFit lmao I genuinely love cottage cheese, me and my man get the chive one all the time and we’re not even gym/diet ppl. Like people who genuinely enjoy healthy food they ostracize for no reason. 😂

[@CeceMEFit]

​@@JenBabyJen I KNOWW! Like even salads, I am a salad lover, I love the crunchy lettuce, all the different veggies/toppings, and the variety of dressings. But apparently, that's "rabbit food". Then on the other hand, if we point out how (genuinely) bad the some of foods they eat are, it's "we shouldn't be saying anything about what other people eat"

[@ew4645]

Yess cottage cheese is elite, especially with ripe pineapple!

[@Barbibarbs]

I always find it funny when they say that it's a "western society" issue. Dude, in the East people are as vocal as they come! South Korea, China and Japan have a super strict and narrow beauty standards and actively promote diet and exercise to achieve them. I remember that when I was into Lolita fashion, magazines would include diet tips along with all the other things, not far from what my local, western teenage-oriented mags showed. It's not a western thing, it's just that humans are attracted towards certain things, our culture pushes certain looks and obesity is not one of them. Pushing an agenda to make obesity fashionable and dreamy sounds like a massive, pointless endeavour because for people to find it attractive you have to basically change human nature. We like what we like and no amount of insistence can change that. It's okay to be in peace with yourself, more power to you. But to then start denying the consequences just because you still don't feel them and to try to convince others than losing the weight is not loving yourself or to exclude people who decide to make a change, that's absolutely despicable. If for somebody loving themselves is having a balanced diet and exercising, let them love themselves. You do you.

[@Cattleya69]

Yeah. Whenever people say that fatphobia is a “Western issue”, I laugh. Westerners, especially Americans, are way less fatphobic than Asians. I’m 161.5 cm (5’3.5”)-most Asian girls in my home country are around my height or close to my height, but they usually weigh like 45 to 50 kg (99 to 110 lbs). Asians are brutally fatphobic-they’re often quick to point out how “fat” I am at 54 kg (119 lbs).

[@minulee100]

I’ll never understand how you can feel great being overweight. I gained weight as well and I felt better weighing less simply because I was able to move my body in a different way. Most of the people that das it’s great to feel overweight struggle to cut their own toe nails and that alone is just a warning sign. I’m happy that the seem to feel great and take the pressure off themselves but at the same time it’s just dangerous for their health longterm.

[@lubnan08]

👍 agreed

[@azuredystopia3751]

So many little things are easier I found- it doesn't fix your life but even knowing you can usually find clothes that fit, pick out stuff in the sales, be comfortable in any chair or not dying of heat exhaustion at the first sign of Spring...Every little bit helps imo.

[@tatianaartemova3636]

The truth is it’s obviously not great and those people who say it is r just accepting their new “normal” which they r used to and don’t even know/remember what being in a healthy body feels like.

[@starwishes20]

I was never super overweight but even at 20 pounds overweight I definitely felt the difference in pain levels. My blood work was fine too but I feel like most people's bodies will react negatively in one way or another, with or without good blood work

[@taylorbug9]

14:31 her parents were horribly abusive with her weight holy sh_t. They made her fat then let her do diets and have diet pills 😢 I feel so much anger towards her parents!!

[@Vexarax]

I experienced all those same things they talked about in the beginning including terrible bullying and even being targeted by teachers, but as a kid and teen I was always thin (and was even 'curvy in the right places' ie hips and chest as I got older). Never had a boy like me back, never really even a kind word from anyone, never went to prom or did anything like that as no one would ever have asked me. It's not just body-size they'll target you for. They will find any weakness and use it to destroy you. That's just the nature of bullying sadly :c

[@ivanamendez478]

SAME! I was petite and skinny, yet I still was bullied, never had a boyfriend until I was 18, wanted to hide and disappear, etc etc. They act like only fat people experience these things.

[@Ace139012]

​@@ivanamendez478q!

[@profe3330]

I really like your opening remarks because they point to the learned helplessness underpinning the whole Body Positivity schtick. These women aren't really rejecting "beauty standards" - just look at what they spend on makeup and clothes! - they're just giving away their own power, and then calling it "liberation."

[@taylorbug9]

I *look* really fit to the average person, but I'm actually underweight, and I struggle every day because of it. People who say they're healthy while obese are just ignoring their health entirely.

[@taylorbug9]

12:53 so why were her parents never investigated for child abuse?? Her parents *made her obese* as a child and then took her to a foriegn country to get her a surgey not approved for her age group in the US. That should immediately get your child removed from your care. What. The. F_ck

[@slotheatworld]

I agree.

[@fiveorsixgirls]

I'm 70 years old. IT CATCHES UP WITH YOU. My weight and my eating habits. I have diabetes 2, stage 3 kidney disease, lymphoedema, high blood pressure.... I recently changed my eating habits drastically. I eat extremely healthily now. I'm dropping weight. My blood pressure is MUCH better. I have other health issues that were not because of weight but we're exacerbated by it. I'm taking so much be care of myself and some things are better because of it but PLEASE, PEOPLE -Never believe that if you don't have any of these things at a younger you will be fine as you get older. It's CRAP. TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH NOW.

[@baristabev9517]

I’ve lived my life overweight and later on at a healthy weight and I think it’s totally fine to have a preference. I do find it odd when men go around announcing it at inappropriate times or in regards to women that aren’t interested in them anyway. Like sure talk about it if it’s relevant but you don’t need to shout it from the rooftops making others feel less than or pass it off as concern when it’s really just not attractive to you. Having said that it’s totally fine if someone approaches you romantically to be like “im sorry but I’m not interested in you that way”. That’s entirely different than posting a whole video to the internet talking about how disgusted you are by a certain body type or talking shit about an innocent person with your friends. There’s a lot of unnecessary cruelty towards overweight people and that will never be okay.

[@amberinthemist7912]

Yes absolutely. The bro dudes that wear no fat chicks t shirts for example. I wish no one would date them. There's no need for cruelty.

[@baristabev9517]

@@amberinthemist7912that part 👏🏻

[@zoilalulu3798]

I'm a fat woman and know that that's why many men I'm attracted to are not attracted to me. It sucks but I get it. I wouldn't want a fat partner either because I'm not attracted to fat people and because I don't want someone who doesn't take care of their health and will have me be their caretaker all because of gluttony, trauma, addiction, etc. This is the reality I live with. I have lost over 100 lbs over the years and men do look at me differently now, even though I'm still fat. And yes, as long as you don't go out of your way to treat me like sh*t and tell me that I'm gross or wanna use me for sex because you're "doing me a favor" then I'm okay with not being attractive to everyone.

[@eenmens3826]

Good luck!! I wish you the best. I hope your get to your goal and love the best life you can live! ❤

[@alwmwo9286]

Different cultures, in our Arab culture men love and marry fat girls, and often skinny girls remain without a husband

[@sus4nah]

“My body was an accessory that was going to grant me the privilege of being loved.” ….. girl, just lose some weight 😂 the mental gymnastics I swear.

[@ShantrelleGizelle]

🤣

[@madambutrfly23]

Or you can mind your business. Stop acting like you care. Stop policing other people’s body.

[@marlyd]

I disagree completely with the conclusions they reach and as adults they have responsibility to deal with their trauma in a healthy way but honestly if some adult had the audacity to give a 7yo diet pills, I'm not surprised they ended up on the other side of extreme.

[@Ashashieasha]

Yup my mum put me on diets from about 7/8. Made diet and my weight a massive deal of something that needed to be fixed. Made me have low self esteem and depression from such a young age. Looking back at my childhood pictures I was a healthy weight, a lil thick but no cause for concern. Back in the 90s though, being sickly thin was in. Living with the thought of being fat my whole life just made me reserved, hidden and gain weight. I am working on the mental part of healing and I’m positive the body will follow. I do not expect anyone to accept my size if that’s not their preference. However, been both a decent weight and overweight, I can 100% say people treat you very differently when you are in a bigger body.

[@Hatterhouse]

I believe people can have preferences. It would be nice if everyone were honest and not a jerk about it, though. On the other hand, it would be nice if people could respect polite rejection as well.

[@cosmicreef5858]

Respect rejection in general. Yeah do not be a jerk but you still have NO RIGHTS to force yourself on ANYONE in ANY WAY.

[@samanthamarquez4358]

Hard to be polite when they keep pushing the issue after you explained you're not interested or comfortable with it

[@bradley6654]

@@samanthamarquez4358 AK da I CA p

[@hannahbunny2773]

I don’t care if I’m called fatphobic - becoming obese terrifies me.

[@heavenlywells3818]

same

[@SC0891]

People forget that "healthy" isn’t something that you just are, like a personal trait that comes along with you. Healthy is a momentary condition that can easily change at ANY given time, especially under certain conditions. We’re all healthy until we aren’t anymore.

[@thebadgamer1967]

Hit the nail on the head eventually the obesity will catch up with them, as a nurse and formally morbidly obese I see this in my work and experienced it in my life I'm 55 year old... so very old lol but I ended up with type 2 in my mid 30's before I finally lost the weight in my 40s along with a few mental health issues. Great work John as always.

[@charlottescat4481]

Very true. Easier to deal with when you are younger. But as your body ages, things start to break down.

[@ductape723]

When will we learn that loving yourself, and changing yourself, are not mutually exclusive? You can love yourself AND still desire something different for yourself. In fact, loving yourself may just be the best motivator there is to take care of the self, mind AND body.

[@Andrew_O]

Not everything shows in the blood. They are simply looking for something to tell them that being in that state is fine even as the damage accumulates....

[@taylorbug9]

Exactly. I'm underweight and I suffer because of it. But when I go to the doctors, all they want to do is a basic blood panel. And it comes back normal, so they send me on my way. As if i'm lying or something. I've literally been in the ER over night because of my health and I had *three* nurses at the end of my bed cooing about how skinny I was and how they wishes they were my size. I was in disbelief. I felt like I was in the Twilight zone. Here I am in the ER at 2 am, instead of my own bed, and these nurses want to be me!! The ignorance even in our own healthcare workers! Being a healthy weight is so important.

[@yesimvegan]

Exactly!! Why is it that they can throw out weight as an indication of health but get to arbitrarily decide one blood panel is the end all to be all?

[@Montana677]

I was thinking the same, I'm no doctor but surely there's more to health than blood work?

[@TheVeyZ]

Im not going to be guilt into a relationship that i have no interest in. Everyone is allowed a preference.

[@ceetee-hs8tm]

Can we stop the myth that perfect blood work equals health? I am 280 (was 400 at my highest) and have perfect bloodwork and blood pressure. But my knees are shot and i need replacements. I cannot walk without assistance. I have chronic stomach and lung issues. Ive been losing weight but some of my issues are permanent and it is 100% because i have been obese for most of my life. But hey i have good cholesterol and not pre-diabetic so im the picture of health according to FA...

[@alice_rabbit8345]

Exactly. Bloodwork is only one way to measure health.

[@terkfranks1538]

People should love someone for who they are (not how much they currently weigh), with that said, we all need to acknowledge that being overweight isn't healthy and we need (especially myself) to work on and try to maintain a healthy weight and diet. ❤ love yourself & do your best ✌️

[@purplecrayonismine2585]

Yeah!! It also makes me extremely sad that they get so disillusioned during childhood to a healthy diet because their parents should have been responsible of that and they didn't, like there is no way a 10 year old kid who is eating healthy and playing outside can be morbidly obese

[@terkfranks1538]

@@purplecrayonismine2585 it's a huge problem (in my opinion), our society has detached the link between actual animals and a lot of "food" that we put on our plates. Every year the leading cause of death is cardiovascular disease (heart disease/heart attacks/strokes) and meat & dairy is a primary cause of heart disease. And, that's not even getting into all the added sugar/processed foods that saturate the medium. I'm going on 32 weeks whole food plant based and completely off of all blood pressure and heart medicines. ✌️

[@nikedoesthings]

I'm done with this new culture of diagnosing the other with something -phobic, simply because they don't share your opinion. And this goes for so many things. It's toxic and it guilts people for NO reason. Not everyone will feel that, but vulnerable people will. It sucks, and I refuse to be a part of it. ( Also. A phobia really is a severe fear of something, the term used isn't even correct. )

[@morethan1]

I just really cant believe these people tell these stories to an audience this size and dont realize how unbelievable they sound. She really wants me to believe that a fat teenager walked into a doctor's office and was immediately told she's definitely very very sick right now based on absolutely nothing but looking at her. People online need to learn the difference between a scenario being technically possible vs the likelihood it actually happened.

[@taylorbug9]

People have no critical thinking skills anymore. Schools don't teach it, and parents don't have time. So everyone just believes what they're told until they're told otherwise.

[@pisstakecentral]

You are delusional if you think that never happens.

[@Felixfelychee]

I don't think that that part is the unbelivable one. I went trough highschool 25kg overweight (which is a lot, but nothing compared to some of these women) and the school doctor always told me that I was unhealthy (which I was) just by looking at me.

[@alexberg7430]

i actually had a doctor do this to me, and the worse part is she wasn't even a physical doctor she was a psychiatrist. I'm skinny, recovering from anorexia. I'm a bit bigger than I was during the time of this appointment but I'm still underweight. I'm 5'4 and 112 lbs now, and was around 107-108 lbs during this intake appointment. One of the first things she mentioned was that I looked too skinny and she was worried about my health, thinking that all my mental stuff (anxiety, depression) going on was a result of being too thin and not getting the nutrients I need. Frankly I was offended, it was NOT her place to talk to me about that. Wasn't even what I was there for. And I wasn't even that thin.... Underweight yes, but I wasn't sickly thin by any means. Doctors absolutely do this shit and it's frustrating.

[@lt.2992]

No one is obligated to date anyone for any reason. The truth is human beings are visual and wired to want certain things not necessarily because “beauty standards” but because traits that signify health and vitality are desirable (real health not the woke version of health were obesity and mental disorders are glorified)

[@bananawitchcraft]

Yeah. I don't think it's always about how healthy the person looks, though. There are a lot of people out there with a tendency to find really overweight or underweight people sexually attractive. Evolutionary biology leads us to seek out healthier partners, but there are other aspects of human psychology which can come into conflict with that. It might be a fetishistic attraction to things considered "taboo." There can also be a concerning element of being attracted to the powerlessness that comes with being in an unhealthy body.

[@MyDuckSaysFucc]

They don’t want to be fetishized but they also want other people to date them… with everyone else people are allowed to have a “type” why turn away the people who are actually attracted to you and try to guilt others into dating you??? That last part has incel vibes to be honest.

[@taylorbug9]

They shouldn't date people who fetish their size though because those people will just try to make them fatter.

[@1mortalsin]

If we date someone because of how that person looks (it doesn't matter if that person is tall, fat, has black hair or blue eyes, etc.) then we are always dealing with some kind of fetish. Our strong preference is simply a small fetish for something in the other person. something that pleases our eyes. and we are all entitled to it.

[@melchiorlise2466]

I have autism, and while it makes dating difficult for me I would be very uncomfortable if someone came to me and said they were attracted specifically to autistic people. Because what would that say about them that they are attracted to the idea of someone who have trouble to communicate, who may be socially isolated and who may be very dependent on their partner ? They might be abusive people looking for someone who won't defend themselves. It's similar for people who have a fat fetishism, what does it say about them that they are attracted to the idea of someone who have a physical deformity ?

[@weeeeee-ol2xt]

​@1mortalsin no. Looks-based dating isn't a fetish. Empirically, it's proven that, although there are some outlying couples when people with high (non-looks-based) status are involved, everyone pairs up with others of roughly equal physical attractiveness. It's a biological imperative for everyone, no matter where you fall on the attractiveness spectrum

[@Edward_Strong1982]

I have a huge issue with society right now. For the most part people can’t help what they are or aren’t sexually attracted too 🤷🏾‍♂️ this type of stuff goes on in my community also (LGBTQ). I’ve encountered trans people who become livid when their rejected and your immediately phobic.. no I’m a gay man that is attracted other biological men. I’m a bigger guy myself. Although I’ve lost weight and gotten in better shape I still experience massive amounts of rejection. It used to bother me but I realized that people just like what they like, just as I do.

[@TrueNorthLocks]

Omg yes 😭😭 I have SO many trans friends, I'm bi myself, but I've been attacked so many times because my preference is cis partners! Like calm down, not everyone has to be attracted to everyone else.

[@DanielleStarry]

The LGB need to stick together. We have no community

[@gints2766]

I think there might be a better way to word it than “won’t date trans people.” You’re probably just more attracted to biologically masculine traits, and not all trans people have the physical traits of a cis man. If it’s about attraction, there’s no issue AT ALL and you shouldn’t be shamed. Still, rather than say anything about who you won’t date, just go and date people you’re physically and emotionally attracted to. If you reject someone, don’t tell them it’s because they are trans, fat, disabled, even religious idk whatever it is you’re not attracted to, be it physically or emotionally, just tell them you aren’t attracted to them in that way. Obviously your dating choice doesn’t mean you hate someone, but you could also word it in a way that doesn’t let them think you hate trans people and that’s the reason you aren’t dating that person. It can’t be that hard. Same with fat people. If you make it about your personal attraction, no one should be able to argue.

[@WisteriaA_99]

@@gints2766 I see where you are coming from here but the issue is that people will then assume why you aren’t attracted to them. They’ve done studies that prove this type of thing. I don’t understand why it isn’t okay to just say I don’t date x type of people period because the truth is everyone has those types of notions. Whether it’s tall, short, poor, mean, trans, fat, skinny, muscular, or a myriad of other traits.

[@gints2766]

@@WisteriaA_99 I totally understand that, but you also must acknowledge there a difference between some traits. If someone says “I don’t date” and it’s followed by any of: muscular, skinny, fat, brunette, bald, short, tall, etc then it’s obvious that it’s about superficial attraction. At least I think it is for most rational people. For most things you should always assume it’s simply a matter of attraction…mostly But some “traits,” yeah you should give the benefit of the doubt, nothing wrong with not jumping to assume someone who doesn’t date Asians is racist…but it also a bit suspicious. Why don’t they just date who they are attracted to and make it clear it’s about physical traits. I feel the same about someone saying they won’t date Jewish people, black people, disabled people, or trans people. It’s such a massive group full of people with massively different appearances and personalities to fully dismiss, it just kinda feels like it’s not fully about attraction for some things that people say they will never date. Saying you’re attracted to men but won’t date a trans man to me sounds like saying you are attracted to someone but won’t date them because they are bisexual. Like you’re attracted to them but some part of them you disagree with for some personal ideology reason…?? You can’t assume intentions but for trans people it’s a weird situation because someone will say they are attracted to men, like above, but not men who are trans. Some of those people don’t consider trans men to be men even if they are attracted to them and would have dated them if they the only thing different was they were cis. I can’t understand why other than for biological reproductive reasons. soooo many trans people pass as cis and look no different from cis so what would be the reason then for a gay man to not date trans men. Obviously not all trans men might look how they like but then make it about looks not about the fact they are trans. Say you won’t date men with traits that are too feminine then. I just do not get it. Say there was a trans man this guy was attracted to, they had compatible personalities, both attracted to eachother, and they are gay so having a kid wouldn’t be biological for both of them any way. And they would date if the guy was cis but don’t because he’s trans, nothing to do with appearance. If it IS about appearance, make it about appearance not about them being trans.

[@tigerlily2519]

I used to try to blend into the wall too. Unfortunately the reason I was bullied was because I'm quiet, clever and not the modern version of 'attractive'. There's nothing I can really do about that whereas these ladies can change their situations.

[@naomihu9399]

It’s quite interesting to see American/Western women’s logic, that when they are not perceived as stereotypically attractive, they don’t think about working on themselves, but working on changing the standards & other people’s opinions. 😂

[@RLucasReviews]

The subject of dating choice is overblown. Some men are repulsed by fat women, some men are repulsed by skinny women. People have all kinds of preferences based on their personal experiences and biases. I will always say, get in where you fit in.

[@NoMorehandles214]

I was 250 pound 5'5" male i now weigh 145 in the best physical shape of my life....and people keep asking me why i lost all that weight...your going to blow away...crazy...i look and feel amazing...i never felt amazing over weight

[@x3lea866]

I absolutely agree that weight loss isn’t a magic bullet, but as someone who lost 50 lbs, I can absolutely say it changed my life. I already had a great job, relationship, etc, but nothing gave me the self confidence and satisfaction that waking up everyday and looking after my physical health did. You walk through life differently when you know you love yourself enough to take care of yourself.

[@alwmwo9286]

Different cultures, in our Arab culture men love and marry fat girls, and often skinny girls remain without a husband

[@x3lea866]

@@alwmwo9286 nothing I said had anything to do with male preferences. I couldn’t care less if I’d be considered unattractive in your country.😂

[@alwmwo9286]

@@x3lea866 you are so beatiful

[@alwmwo9286]

@@x3lea866 I didn't say you were unattractive! I mean, fat women have men who like them

[@x3lea866]

@@alwmwo9286 and I’m saying your comment is irrelevant! Feeling good and loving yourself is far more important than someone loving you. It’s very difficult to feel good when you’re unhealthy and become even the slightest bit limited by your physical state.

[@lynnehunter104]

‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ is a quote by a famous skinny supermodel. It is true. Iost all my weight by eating healthy and walking every day for 6 months, I lost 4 stone, went from a size 16 to a 6 (uk sizes). I felt and looked fabulous. Lockdown took its toll and not back to 16 but up to 12 again. Having trouble loosing it again as Im now in my 60s and its not working this time which makes me feel upset with myself for letting myself go again.

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

You obviously haven't tasted Malva Pudding 😂😂

[@XxMercuriiXx]

How long did you walk?

[@nickiwong8222]

I was overweight and i've idealized being skinny almost my entire life and now, i am 44kg which is really underweight for my BMI, and i'm not even happy and i get skinny shamed almost everyday. just be kind to others and u don't know other ppl's struggles.

[@cosmicreef5858]

True and also do not feel entitled to other people's attention either.

[@nickiwong8222]

@@cosmicreef5858 exactly.. the first few compliments i'd received motivated me to lose more weight cos i was obese, however, now it makes no difference. they say i look sick or as my mom say on multiple occasions "ugly" and that ppl laugh at me.

[@yesimvegan]

I understand that being picked apart for your weight as child or getting gastric bypass as a child can be traumatic. But like they are like going in the wrong direction and over correcting. Instead of finding a healthy way to lose weight or get to a healthy weight they just double down on being fat

[@barbiietajanai6460]

Yeah but she has a choice to lose weight some people are naturally skinny I eat over 4,000 calories every single day and I am still 112 lbs I'm only 5'5. If I eat less than 3500 calories a day I start to lose weight dramatically and all through school I got bullied saying that I look like Whitney Houston on crack that I had AIDS that I was being tortured at home all types of weird-ass s*** from big hos so I don't really feel remorse for them its self-control.. and you can't force anybody to like you a lot of men don't like skinny females and baby I am petite but I don't feel no type of way about it unless they start making comments about what I look like that aren't okay but they shouldn't do that to bigger women either just so you know you not my cuppa tea move around no one has to be mean to anybody but to say that somebody's fatphobic nobody's afraid of fat people, they just got to get your s*** together

[@juliethomsen4121]

So when a 20 year old doesn't want to date a 50 year old.. that's ageist.. right..?!

[@katodd2925]

My sister is over weight and she shames people who won't date fat people all the time. It's so stupid

[@cynthiamarks139]

John, you are totally right!! So I’ve watched some of your videos and seen posts by lots of body positivity Fashion girlies, and I need to say something. I was told all throughout my younger years that if I didn’t lose weight I’d have health issues, yadda yadda…you get it. And my bloodwork was always perfect too, I worked out and was active so I dismissed everything the doctors said. I was 300lbs at my heaviest about 7 years ago and I suddenly lost 96 lbs without literally doing anything…and found out it was because I was diabetic and my blood sugar was out of control. And I’m now in my 40’s and have such bad neuropathy that it hinders my everyday life, it’s horrible! And even though I immediately got my diabetes under control, during that year or so of uncontrolled diabetes I did so much damage to the nerves in my body that I’m on 3 different types of medication for the neuropathy and my feet are so numb that it’s hard for me to wear heels anymore or sometimes feel my feet at all! Which is hard for someone who is into fashion the way I am. I wish these younger people who think their weight won’t cause problems later in life would realize that yes, they’re ok RIGHT NOW, but it’s later after years of your body carrying all the extra weight (and the problems this causes) that WILL catch up with you! Anyway, I just felt the need to tell my story and I wanted to say thank you for all that you do!

[@CringeSamurai]

MAN!!!!!!!!! I was 220lbs when I subscribed to you around 2017. I lost weight, gained it again, lost it again, gained it again, then finally in 2022, I lost it and kept it off at around 150lbs! I forgot about your channel, and I wouldn’t have remembered it if KZbin didn’t decide to randomly recommend this video! Damn! Glad to see you again!

[@stacyq7656]

People are allowed to have preferences. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MileinaJuarez]

Yet most women in the USA, regardless of their own height won’t date a short man, even if he’s taller than they are. My husband is barely 5.7 and I am 5.6, in our home country we’re taller than average . In the USA most women ignored him when he was very young but over 30, with a doctorate, it suddenly doesn’t matter anymore as much. I just don’t get the double standard. You can lose weight, I went from around 250 to 128. But you can’t change your height. Still it’s socially acceptable, to not want to date shorter men, even if you’re a very short woman. But if a man says he would like a woman under size xl, he’s a horrible person? Btw., when I was obese, my blood work was fine until one day it suddenly wasn’t. And the truth is, obese people have more fat around their liver, wich will eventually take a toll. And humans get used to pain. I didn’t even notice my knee pain, for example until it was gone. I also had gotten used to heartburn most days and other things. When I lost the weight I felt completely different and I’ve never been happier. My health is so much better!

[@gabrielterenziomusic5694]

Weight loss is a struggle I gotta lose a good 100 pounds for now and it doesn’t get any easier it takes tremendous discipline and mental fortitude but I’m on my way

[@kira3835]

I'm so curious what it is these people think that bloodwork is going to show. Bloodwork is not some crystal ball that predicts your lifespan and all your future health outcomes.

[@gypsylee333]

Remember friends, you don't owe ANYONE your affection or love or s3xy time. Dating is inherently exclusionary unless you just bend over the mailbox naked so the whole city can have a go 🙄 same goes for other races or trans people. YOU ARE NOT A BIGOT FOR NOT DATING A PERSON!!!

[@ab-hx8qe]

The original message was FOCUSING exclusively on weight loss is unhealthy, when people where starving themselves to dangerous levels.

[@Lemarcus03]

A personal, intimate relationship is NOBODY'S Business but the person (or persons) that are in the relationship.

[@EquineDreams3]

Not one truly happy person makes a video trying to convince complete strangers how happy they are. Not. One.

[@ninacael]

I'll agree that 'everything you ever dreamed of' is not on the other side of weightloss, however, embarking on a health journey and adapting healthy habits WILL improve your quality of life. you'll become more disciplined, learn about yourself, improve your cooking skills, find a productive routine, have more energy, get re-callibrated with your goals... i'll 100% say that my quality of life has improved tenfold since losing weight.

[@oneofthosewhowander]

All of them feels so rehearsed, like they've had to convince themselves of all of this. Really faked it til you're made it.

[@alexberg7430]

having someone like you back is not a basic human right.....i struggled with romance in middle and high school, and i was thin. I was sad about it, sure, but never once did i think i was entitled to a partner. having back luck in the dating scene is not exclusive to fat people, and it's not a violation of your rights. the entitlement in this community is astounding.

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

It's a cultural thing. You won't understand.

[@Zzzz_mops]

the issue is they've taken the first few steps for self love and then just given up. its a good idea to love your body at any size but the next step is making healthier choices for your body because you love your body

[@eliskabartonova7380]

I find it so interesting on how the body standards are around the globe. I used to be "chubby" in high school. I was I think 85 kg at my highest, I'm 172 cm tall. I am also from central Europe and that was considered fat in my country. I felt fat, clothes didn't fit my body, nothing just sat right on my body, I felt inflexible, not capable of some basic physical activities. I spoke to a few Americans and Canadians and even some Swedes and Brits (when I already lost weight to my current number of 65 kg) and they all lookes confused at how I was considered fat. Looking back...I was just chubby. But more and more I'm learning about what is considered "chubby", "plus-size" or "curvy" in the US. It's wild. I think both are extremes...the central Europian version of these labels and the US version of them. But the women in this video are objectively speaking just fat or even obese. There is nothing healthy or attractive about it. But in the dating scene - fat people (the actually FAT people) in my opinion, are not just anattractive to me based on their appearance...it's the fact they don't care enough about their health, their bodies, their physiques and consequently of their lives

[@alwmwo9286]

Your are not fat you are chubby

[@alwmwo9286]

Different cultures, in our Arab culture men love and marry fat girls, and often skinny girls remain without a husband .. am siknny man i very love fat women

[@mariecherrytree]

I was relentlessly bullied as a child in elementary and junior high school. I switched schools and lost weight in high school, still chubby but not super fat anymore. There were people bigger than me in HS and university that had significant others 🤷‍♀️ I couldn't find a date to save my life but I realized later that I was incredibly standoffish and took myself out of social situations before I could be hurt or bullied.

[@goodamy1]

just because your bloodwork is fine doesnt mean youre fine...

[@DM-jn3zo]

in all of these videos you see examples of the dissonance between who they feel they are and what their body represents and is perceived. this applies to me too before I started working to sculpt my body and personality/lifestyle to align. I didn't understand why I looked how I did if "I don't eat that much, I'm active, I do what others do but have a diff result". I learned my body represents the reality of my lifestyle as much as it sucks.

[@barbaraann1760]

I'm not disagreeing with you, BUT I will say that when I dropped around 75 lbs after high school, my life was completely changed. I was way more confident, which was honestly the only thing holding me back in life I feel like. I don't think these ladies have that same issue, but losing weight was the best thing I have ever done.

[@dani-2002]

smoking when you’re young most probably won’t kill you but continuing for years, at some point it is going to catch up to you

[@LLCoolJ_25]

Weight loss definitely helps. I feel that I’m more confident in certain aspects, but at the same time, my social anxiety is still really bad. And I’m always hearing how guys are really attracted to confidence. So it makes me worry that if I never gain a bunch of confidence, none of these guys are going to like me.😂This was not my main reason of losing weight, but it’s definitely part of it. I was like some of these other fat women. I felt like guys were so bad for not wanting me. Truly, I just have a lot of bad memories of guys insulting my looks (even when I was slimmer). I got called the second ugliest girl in school by this kid and my nose is not my best attribute. It’s very much a Eastern European nose.😂 We got big bumps in our noses. Anyways, you can’t force certain people to like you. I’m 24 and only had one relationship. I’ve accepted that I may never find a relationship again. I’m more so trying to be focused on my eating habits and decreasing my stress anyways.

[@dr.wolfstar1765]

As a fat guys i hope beautiful women have this same mentality

[@lt.2992]

Irl those same women if given the choice would date a fit guy. The hypocrisy!

[@HallsofAsgard96]

@@lt.2992 Its almost comical b/c u almost never see fat men included in these discussions

[@randybaumery-u5r]

I was technically over weight even obese for about a year. I hated it.

[@adelissahunsley]

Here's where I stand. Yes it is totally possible to be 20 pounds overweight but if you are active and are getting the right amount of nutrition you can be a lot healthier than the skinnyfat people out there that drop over with a heart attack seemingly out of the blue. However, once you hit obese, there is a problem there. Also once you get well into that obesity category, for me, it was about BMI 33, at age 18, I physically couldn't do what others could do. It only got measurably worse by the time I hit morbidly obese. I think on the one hand, exercise is overrated for losing weight when you have more than 50 pounds to lose, diet is definitely the most important factor and people usually think they are burning way more calories exercising than they really do. It is a big part of being overall healthy so don't get me wrong, exercise is important. However, physical activity is a great measuring factor as to how healthy you really are.

[@mastercheif878]

Getting called butterball is absolutely hilarious

[@sanabohzaa]

i have seen bigger ppl who i thought were beautiful but i wont date them. like next to the not really being psychically attracted to fat people, i also could not be in a relationship because of the lifestyle. i can get tempted by bad food so bad i fear i would adjust to their diet and gain weight myself+ i love traveling and i always faced many limitations when traveling with fat friends (which i knew about beforehand so it is okay and they are the ones suffering through it so its fine, but i wouldnt want a partner who cant go to places with me the way i would wanna go). does that make me fatphobic? dont think so

[@monharris28]

I get the body positivity movement. I am a plus size woman, but I also don't like all the extra fat around me because it feels like I'm suffocating. So, I work out and try to lose weight. You can love yourself at any size, but it's okay to want to lose weight and feel like you love yourself more slimmer. I don't have to be a size 8. I can be a strong size 10, but I just can't get too big up there. Fat makes me feel uncomfortable; that may not be the case for everyone, but for me it hurts carrying around all this extra weight. bad for my joints.

[@kab6368]

This sounds very much like the current trans women’s narrative. Both are exhausting!

[@Raebrained]

Amen!!

[@boundaryconditions1119]

I got divorced at 33. I was on dating sites at 34-35. As a man with a good job, and a few hobbies that made me a better person (piano, jogging, cooking)? I had absolutely no trouble dating at that age. Now I've been with my partner for 10+ years, and I'm very happy.

[@Sunshineattacks3]

To add to the comment about being a vessel it also means that if she were to lose the weight, she would have no purpose in her own mind

[@tracym6652]

I hope this interview was therapeutic and trauma releasing for these women. I understand they need body acceptance from others, but once they experience the acceptance, i hope they can focus on physical health

[@myles2261]

i dont think anyone wants to be on the dating apps at any age

[@ashtherebel2346]

Are dating apps bad? I have had several good experiences!

[@slotheatworld]

Dating apps are absolute trash, especially for people who don't just want s*x.

[@myles2261]

@@ashtherebel2346 Yeah I mean me too! I met my current partner through tinder. But it's kind of exhausting to go through the motion of introducing yourself and getting to know them and then decide they're not for you, at least if you have a low social battery like me. On top of that there's a few bad experiences

[@dexterdahmer]

0:42 I can’t believe it’s not butterball 😂

[@bluejays9444]

Watching stuff like this is motivation to never get severely obese

[@keshaestevan3623]

And to be this delusional

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

Omg! I literally just saw you on TV! I have like 75 episodes of Dr Phil in my DVR and I only just started watching them on my break and I just you! Good for you! You were great! I agreed with your sensetivity and pragmatism.

[@lubnan08]

I disagree with most of this. Being at a healthy weight makes your life better and you feel better. Its jusy hard to lose weight. I was obese my whole life so i know coping skills and faking happiness. And people can date and marry whomever they want.

[@donaldpowell6725]

These women on stage isnt bad looking at all, they just need to lose about between 100 to 200 lbs.

[@notanotherjoana]

Not me being single at 33 hahaha But to be fair, I'm a lot more my own person and have more self-confidence / self-esteem than I did when I was a teen or in my 20s. So it's better to date now than back then.

[@cosmicreef5858]

Exactly. Learning to love your own company is the first necessary step in being suitable for a relationship in the first place.

[@pisstakecentral]

@@cosmicreef5858 lol utterly ridiculous and untrue comment

[@101Kittywhiskers]

Why the hell did I look up personal question & be met with hatred about dating me?

[@michel7700]

Well as an oversize woman, I think if a person is not attracted to someone else they have the right to not go out with that person. But also, I had situations where guys that in fact are attracted to me, like and care about me (apparently) but don't date me because they are kinda embarrassed to be seen with someone with my weight. And for those situations I wouldn't call it fatphobia but I don't have a formed name for that situation 😅

[@powderandpaint14]

Idiot-ness?

[@mirandaroney3751]

I'm not trying to be an asshole but that is still called a preference. If a guy only wants to see you at night or won't introduce you to his friends or family as a "girlfriend" then it's YOUR responsibility to to see and take that as the sign to move on to other people. Yeah it also makes him an asshole but be smart about it and never take anyone saying you're perfect for x and y but you need to change z. Don't set yourself up for the failure and heartbreak

[@josiehensley5705]

Been there, plenty of guys will flat out say that they will sleep with you but not date you. That’s when you quit talking to them and move on. I’ve also met guys that fat fetishes for bigger women and that didn’t feel great to me either ✌🏻

[@methinmycheerios99]

I think that would be called insecurity. Because it’s about what everyone else thinks and that means the guy isn’t confident enough in his self and his desires. Pretty whack, but at least they were honest..I guess. 😅

[@rgen6857]

When you responded "Well I hope so shes in her 30s" to the prom comment I died ☠️☠️☠️

[@maggpi717]

I disagree, I've lost 98 pounds and worked on everything as a whole building the body I saw in my head, working on mental, spiritual and financial health at the same time.....being dedicated and building consistent habits can be utilized in all aspects of your life!

[@m0rticia_munst3r]

I'm so thankful for my doctor...I had to search for her after my last one treated me poorly. I've been having issues for years losing weight...suspected all kinds of stuff. Even just a really slow metabolism. Turns out I have lipedema...my last doctor said I was fat because I ate too much...never asked what I was even eating or discussed my diet at all. Thankfully, I eat so much better and make way better choices these days. So, I'm not saying my diet wasn't part of the issue...I ate like crap my whole life. It just turns out there is something else going on making it even harder to be at a healthy weight. My new doctor is so amazing tho...going to see a lipedema specialist within the next fews months ❤❤❤

[@vickieharris3850]

Good mercy..you can't make a person want you if they don't want you. Healthy fit men usually do not want fat unhealthy women..it don't make sense..what they gonna do with a woman like that?