OCD is a weed. Rip up the roots!

Follow your anxiety disorder all the way down to the big fears at its roots, and learn to accept those. Give them a big hug as you rip them out of the ground!
My first book, The Mind Workout, explores this exercise more in-depth: bit.ly/themindworkout
Be social all over here:
Instagram: / markwfreeman
Twitter: / thepathtochange
Facebook: / ihaveabrain
Blog: www.everybodyhasabrain.com/
Courses: www.markfreeman.ca

[@everybodyhasabrain]

What helped me tremendously was learning how to shift from living my life as a reaction to anxiety, and instead living my life by acting according to my values. It's a much bigger lifestyle shift than just dealing with a specific symptom. Instead of fueling your life with anxiety (which means you always need anxiety), you shift to fueling your life with values.

[@Oliverkor]

I like this approach. Difficulty is right now my ERP consists of engaging in very tough scenarios that I would never engage in on a normal value driven life. Like for example someone afraid of contamination having to lie down in a public bathroom floor, a behavior that they would never do value-wise. How do I reconcile the exposure with a value driven lifestyle?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@Oliverkor I don't understand how that's an ERP exercise or what the purpose of that would be. I find it useful to focus ERP around cutting out compulsions. The goal is not to try to clean away feelings like anxiety or fear.

[@immaisuradze]

What if u cant really find a reason?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@immaisuradze That's great. Then it'll be no problem cutting out the compulsions. But if you find that difficult, perhaps consider working with a skilled professional to explore things

[@immaisuradze]

@@everybodyhasabrain yea this trick gave me hard time to find reasons

[@everybodyhasabrain]

For me it involved learning to accept death, learning that the assumptions and judgments I'd attached to death were unhelpful. When my brain would get worried about something bad happening to me that could end in death, I'd agree that I could die but not react to it. Over time, your brain learns that death isn't something to fear. Changing my approach to death has helped me in many areas. It's made my life much healthier. Life is no longer just a series of reactions fuelled by the fear of dying

[@mjgeronimo6976]

i'm afraid to ask why because the same "why" led me to OCD.

[@kissingmyass]

fear is the food of OCD. I also have OCD. You r not alone. Let's fight it together.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Finding the root is helpful with practicing Acceptance. It tends to be more effective to practice accepting the big underlying fear than just the specific, superficial way that is reflected in symptoms. But it's not necessary. Definitely don't let it become a barrier, that would just be the OCD at work. Finding the root is only a support. You can still cut out the compulsions without it.

[@lorenalechter2330]

Mark, can you recommend a superb therapist that work in the way you propose? We live in S FLORIDA, THANKS

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@lorenalechter2330 I don't know of any in south Florida personally, but many therapists work online now, so you could broaden your area. There is an ACT therapist directory on the website of the association for contextual and behavioral science: contextualscience.org/civicrm/profile?gid=17&reset=1&force=1

[@davem475]

YOU are a genius !! THANK YOU !! YOU...hit MY CORE PROBLEM straight on !! YOUR 3 are EXACTLY MY... fundamental fears !! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That sounds like very routine OCD. Anxiety used to interfere a lot with exercise for me as well. The trick is in learning to exercise regardless of the weather in your brain. Your brain thinks you can't do it, do it anyway. Your brain thinks it's uncomfortable, do it anyway. Your brain thinks you're not seeing changes, do it anyway. Don't let thoughts affect your healthy actions. An exercise program can be a great way to put something other than your brain in charge of your fitness.

[@troy4388]

One of the best comments I’ve ever seen

[@sheenam6545]

I know I've expressed my appreciation before, but I really appreciate these posts coming from someone who has actually experienced OCD and has been able to dig up the roots. While I really appreciate my doctors, I think in many cases it would be helpful if they'd experienced it first hand. It becomes much less elusive this way. Thank you for pushing through those difficult times and then still using your time and energy to help those who are struggling. :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Sheena! Yes, it would be great to share more info with health practitioners from people that have lived experience of overcoming these challenges. But it is helpful that we have platforms like KZbin so people can access info directly. It must have been so difficult to struggle with OCD before the Internet came along. People would have had no way of knowing so many others were dealing with the exact same issues.

[@itsaxel8088]

Found this gem. The explanations and questions you ask made me look at situations from a different angle.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy exploring those new angles 😁🙇‍♂️

[@foamsoap41]

I just found this video right now in my recommended and I love it. The thing with OCD is that it always seems to target what we care most about. Helps to put things in perspective.

[@alr.3137]

I think with me it's those three things: sanity (death, fear of loosing my 'self'), relationships (fear of being alone), morality (fear of being somehow perverted/morally deficient)

[@cerealis_5432]

I have similar fears. Fear of losing myself to these thoughts, fear of intellectual and moral deficiency. Any advice?

[@FernandoVazquez-ro1nw]

So spot on. I just realized this on my own and now your words are confirming it. Thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for the message, Sharon! I'm glad you've found a great path to recovery as well.

[@pizza5259]

Wow! This video has helped me so much. I know you posted it 2 years ago. But its amazing how much it has helped me. Thank you. I'm currently looking for a good therapist hoping I can overcome this OCD.

[@PriyankaSharma-tx2uh]

Best video for ocd and other mental issues 👌

[@dreamxxjust]

Woow I finally have the feeling that someone understands me. Thank you so much for making this video! It means a lot to me! I've been fighting against OCD since I was a little child and at one point I thought I was 'recoverd'. However, I'm losing this battle again lately and I got back to Exposure theraphy. I hope I'll finally finf the root soon because I think that that's the reason why my OCD has gone bad again lately. It's time to cut the roots! Sorry for my bad English. Thank you so much.

[@leonski100]

I would like to say that I am finding your videos on OCD very helpful and are a real eye opener for me as an individual. It's been on going for 13+ years and never really excepted my worries or problems that I fear!

[@OCDTREATMENTCENTRE]

Great work Mark . Your videos are a great help with helping sufferers worldwide. As an OCD specialist and former sufferer its clear to see that your recovery involved the same root as mine. I agree with the content in all of your videos 100 % . Sharon Davies MBACP

[@stevenrodriguez8788]

Your videos are really helpful mark! Thanks for making these videos so that OCD/intrusive thought sufferers can have a little piece of mind. My ocd is not all that bad but what's killing me is my harm ocd and I hope to beat it so I can live a normal and healthy life!

[@daughterofthemosthighfrey752]

Thanks for sharing your saving thoughts about OCD. Yeah often behind every sickness there is a root cause...Be Blessed.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for watching them. I'm glad they're helping!

[@futbollife1093]

Thank you man! I have been suffering with ocd for some time but I trust we will overcome it somehow.

[@tanaykamath1415]

Excellent video, got to learn something which will significantly improve my recovery process

[@Heyitspat]

I just wanna say your video really help me out. Finally someone who understand OCD in its true form. I'm sick and tired of people who simplify OCD and don't understand that obsession can be very handicapping.

[@wasela2983]

@ Mark Freeman thank you for these invaluable vlogs. I have only discovered your channel recently, but you make heaps of sense. The most insightful stuff I have come across in years about OCD and General Anxiety Disorder. Thank you, keep it up, I am watching your latest videos as well, in 2020.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you for the kind words!

[@hufash0063]

You are helping so many of us who are struggling with this beast. Thank you! I feel like my own roots are very very deep and I'm not sure I would be able to find them myself. What is the best way to start? By asking why? Unfortunately, with my OCD, I have become so unsure of my own identity that I cannot even explain why I am afraid of these things. I had ROCD when I was in high school- ended up marrying the man I was so doubtful about. We have a wonderful marriage. This theme pops up here and there, but hasn't been bad lately. For the past 2 and a half years I have been stuck on POCD. I have a 5 year old son, so this has been incredibly difficult for me. I was admitted to a mental hospital because of suicidal ideations. Got better for a while with some medication, but now even with increased medicine along with excercise, it's hitting hard again...

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Ashley Umphlet Hi Ashley. The first thing I'd suggest is being aware of the stories you tell yourself about OCD. If you tell yourself the roots are very deep and they'll be challenging to uncover, then it won't be surprising if you believe that. So one step to take as you get started could be to believe in your ability to deal with these issues. A next step could be working with an experienced therapist to help you cut out compulsions. Finding the roots and practicing acceptance with them is great, but it's not a shortcut for getting around eliminating compulsions. Working with a therapist that practices an evidence-based therapy like Acceptance & Commitment Therapy could be a helpful step to take. Medication and exercise can help relieve symptoms but they're not things I would expect to stop OCD or prevent it from worsening unless they were combined with therapy to eliminate compulsions.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome. I'll definitely check out your OCD videos. Thanks for sharing your own experiences!

[@Calminmind]

5 star vid!!! Mark, this is amazing stuff. I wish my doctor put it like this.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks!

[@broojie8191]

It's really great that you talk about recovery so much, I've suffered from the disorder my entire life. I realized I had a lot of root problems with my obsessions. My harm OCD and contamination stem from my fear of dying. My hocd and tocd stem from my fear of change in my life, I always feared making big changes bc I liked to stay in my comfort zone. My rocd stems from my fear of change as well but also not being happy, I've always feared not being happy with my life. You really opened my eyes today, I could never figure out why I was so afraid of the things I was until I got down to the base of it. So seriously, thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome. All the best with ripping out those roots!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for watching! That's great you're going to try CBT. I'll do a video on what to look for in a therapist in the coming weeks. It's too bad more people don't talk openly about their experiences with therapists like the way we do for restaurants or cars. A recommendation from somebody who recovered with a therapist is great. The advice Jennifer gave is also excellent. Don't be afraid to contact them and ask questions. You're the buyer and you deserve a great product that works well!

[@brycek2033]

Excellent information explained in a clear and logic manner. Thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks!

[@juliettejones6091]

I have quite bad harm OCD and I find your videos and blog super helpful, thanks Mark!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Juliette Jones Thanks, Juliette! I'm glad they're helping on the journey up and over OCD!

[@mayankmalviya6619]

This video is going to help many including myself stay blessed.

[@swaggkidd214]

thanks,this video has helped me the most.theres a lesson for everyone who suffers from this disease what mr.Mark is doing is giving you a formula to a new mindset this is how u handle any problem regular people may not know the way to approach aproblem because they have not recived the stability that we have.so people the reason for this is to make us stronger so that we can handle other problems in life with ease..

[@anonanon7553]

Literally through these videos I've realized that I have had OCD and still do. Starting when I was 10 years old I would constantly check things. I had a fear that my objects would go missing. It feels amazing knowing other people have had the exact same experience as me

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Great! I'm glad they're helping.

[@darpankothia7320]

This channel feels like family

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Steven! If your harm OCD is tough, start with the "not all that bad" stuff first. Tackling the stuff that doesn't bother us so much is one of the most effective ways to build the strength to tackle the things that do bother us. Keep pushing!

[@brianmery761]

Best video. I have cut compulsions and rumination with ERP - but still struggling with the GAD loop. I found it so hard when therapist try to uncover roots, as they try dig up things that not really there. Where as this method of just asking WHY am I fearing this. Is so practical and makes sense, looking ad the fear head on. Helps so much. Bless ya Mark.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Brian! I'm glad you found this useful :)

[@YOLKFOLK]

Thanks again for another great video!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes but I was really lucky to have a psychologist who focused on the future and the changes I wanted to see. In OCD communities you often see lots of focus on "themes" and judging symptoms and discriminating btwn the tiniest differences in symptoms. But none of that matters. It doesn't matter if you think you have OCD or not. Look at the healthy changes you want to make and build what you need to build to make those happen.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Superficially, OCD symptoms seem like they vary to the sufferer, but a huge step to take on the path to recovery is to look beyond the superficial characteristics of the compulsion. Whether somebody is embarrassed or not by it is irrelevant to overcoming it. I found it really useful to see all compulsions as attempts to check on, cope with, or control uncertainty.

[@VictoV7]

Very nice video! This helped me with my mental troubles

[@Antonio_saiddd]

I think this finally broke through to me. I have basically the same roots as you

[@laurabellefontaine7168]

This is amazing.

[@ThriveWithLouise]

i think thats really on point about death, i think i associate death with being alone and abandonment... youre so right

[@LongValleyPoetics]

This might be one of the most helpful, understandable, well-formed, and actionable things I've ever seen regarding OCD in my 15 years of having been diagnosed. Is this your idea or part of a larger idea/book? Either way, thank you so much for presenting this to us.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! I talk more about in my book YOU ARE NOT A ROCK: bit.ly/youarenotarock It comes from a common design thinking exercise. When I was doing therapy, I found it strange we don't give people more tools to understand and navigate complex changes. But in the business world, we have all of these great tools for exploring why people do the things they do. So much of what I do now is adapt business innovation tools to the big innovations of our personal lives.

[@danielptfc]

best video I have ever seen on OCD

[@dmaca222]

Great thankyou so much for the advice and the vids. keep it up.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, I'm glad they've helped. It's common to experience general anxiety afterwards for awhile. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder after I was done a course of ERP as well. After years of feeding anxiety, it takes time for the brain to change, so keep doing healthy things and your brain will catch up with you. But if you're still holding your breath when you're anxious, that's a compulsion. You're going to find it helpful to cut that out.

[@luckysemwal1314]

Sir I've repaired from ocd cuz of my will cuz I know its all fake but sir the thoughts are not the issue even if there is no thought my brain urges to find more thoughts or trying something to makes me stress with no reason .I've also addictive to high dopamine activity like dj and beatbox rap I perform .and extreme fun that now everything appears boring even I lose intrest in life . Please🙏 can u help or give me ur advice

[@boyfriendoftheyear]

Dude you are the best!

[@WinnieFinesse]

Thank you, when I have some quiet time in the next week I think I'll do some writing down and try to find the roots of this stuffff. Death is one for sure though... Thanks :)

[@Stueyknowz]

Come Back. We need more of you're inspiration.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I would want to say "never". But they're really useful to tackle because they can be a constant source of compulsions. So learning how to accept some of the fundamental uncertainties that underpin the superficial compulsions, can really help address large groups of symptoms or "themes" you deal with.

[@TheUltimateLauren]

Thank you!

[@kigo641]

How would one go about figuring out what their root fears are? If it were ROCD, POCD, Harm ocd…wonder what commonality there be between those themes? Fear of not being responsible? Fear of disappointing others? Fear of not being loved? Then you could dig deeper to maybe all of those things ultimately being about fear of being alone. Gosh…just seems like it would be hatd to nail it down. And then when you did nail it down, how do you address it? Thanks so much for everything Mark. You’re a wonderful person and I’m so happy you’ve found contentment in your life. ❤

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It doesn't seem too hard since your explored things quite smoothly in your comment. With the three you mentioned, it's quite common to see it's about the fear of being alone (and then losing what we believe that would take away from us). I recently uploaded two videos that explore this concept further and might help with seeing a way to dig into it. Here's one on understanding core fears: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fqaQgIt7r5yFZqM

[@andrewthiyam8602]

Thank you for the knowledge, you're amazing. Would've been even better if you gave some helpful tips to tackle the roots. : )

[@Pathrissia]

That's EXACTLY what I feel 2:00.. Yesterday and today especially..that I can be so close to being on a better path, but then I don't dare dealing with th fears that I fall back into the OCD and anxiety again. Right on! I think one of my root is that I have very bad self esteem. I will def give this a try though, thanks!

[@WiWillemijn]

My ocd is about forgetting. I am afraid of forgetting good things, forgetting my life, so I write every single thought down. And I know I will forget if I dont write them down, so how do I get rid of this?

[@rubingautam6825]

You have helped me out so much I can't thx you so much I felt like I was gonna die until I saw your vids just bloody thx you bro

[@user-cw8mn2in3h]

I thank you so much for this, you're really very awesome. Thank you!! :))

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! Apologies for the delay. I was off in Brazil eating açaí berries. But I am back now. New video this week.

[@malymadefamily4916]

Hi Mark! I got diagnosed in February but I’ve been having ocd all my life. Your channel and book has helped me so much. I’m still struggling figuring out my core fears but I’m getting there. I was wondering how you figure out a core fear with hoarding. I hate mess so I don’t hoard random things. I have a “Pinterest organized level” pantry, laundry room, and home in general according to family and friends. I keep essentials and food stocked up like a store and pantry stuff organized in more than 100 mason jars. I used to coupon but I stopped because that was getting out of hand. I buy at least $300 worth of food each week. I hate wasting but notice I check expiration dates and even if it’s not expired I feel like it’s old or contaminated and throw it out then buy a new one the next shopping trip. That’s still hoarding right? How would I find my core fear with this?

[@ryandigings7335]

Mark, mine are exactly the same as yours. Particularity death. we have conversed about this several times but i find very abstract on how to practice acceptance of it. could you possibly expand? it's a difficult one, as no one has the actual answer to this and i am not a religious person. I love the fact i'm getting the info from someone who's ACTUALLY been there and come through! Cheers, Ryan

[@ggrant4321]

Hi Mark, Thanks for your videos. I partially agree with you when you say that all fears boil down to the fear of death. Fear of death and loss of meaning was a primary obsession of mine for some time. I am no longer afraid of death. The ocd fears that come to me now have to do with being attacked and / or sexually assaulted. I am a man. You almost never hear about people discussing these kind of fears. I developed them after an encounter with a very angry ex military guy. No one was hurt, but I developed new obsessions. Can you speak to overcoming these kind of fears? Thanks, Geo Grant

[@americablessgod1273]

Yes (I request the same as a viewer below), please help us know HOW to overcome the fear of being ALONE/lonely. It's a root of insomnia, and can hinder OR paralyze us as far as living normal, as far as going with the wrong people or doing dumb things, or else isolating us from the depression.

[@matthewbannerman5958]

Hi Mark, I’ve had Pure OCD since my early teens, I’m now 42. My obsessions are about change and realness, I struggle to understand how a band with no original members can still be the same band? Or if a washing up liquid bottle changes designe how can I still be the same? But if the said bottle then toe as back to the old original style is it then a fake version of its original style? I’m constantly retracing, thinking of scenarios and comparing situations, or looking st everyday objects to see if they all match up! It all stem down to the fact that I want everything to be as real,important as each other, if I make myself a curry for my tea, is it a real curry or is it a fake curry as it’s not from India? I’m always trying to analize in my head that no matter what it’s is it’s still real but I get this unrest, unresolved feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s (the curry) is being misled, it feels in limbo, I seem to attach meaning to everything. This is just an example of the countless things I do it about, I understand the acceptance part but the feeling of unrest is killing me..... I could literally give you 100s of my examples but it all boils down to the same thing, realness, genuine, etc.......

[@rosiequeen90]

It's so relaxing and empowering to know that the root cause of obsessional thinking and the anxiety coming from it, is actually something very simple, i.e. the fear of death, hurting others, being alone. I think Mark hit the nail on the head with this one - things that cavemen were worried about to keep themselves surviving. When you know the foundation and building structures of OCD, it all starts to make sense about knocking it down. I've been suffering since I was 8 years old and am now 27 where knowledge is slowly becoming available. Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of it, then life slaps me across the face and I feel like I'm at square 1 again. Was this your experience, Mark, when recovering? Would you happen to have a video about on & off days and allowing yourself to never give up?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I don't remember which video it's in but something I find useful is not approaching recovery as this big glass vase we have to carefully protect. Then there is this thing that life can knock off and we have to piece it back together. I find it much more useful to just focus on this moment. Success is about how I act in this moment, in this next step. Then you can't be knocked back to square one because you're always taking a fresh step. We don't have to carry around garbage from the past or rewards from the past. We're always free to make a choice. Even if we find that we're lost, it's great that we've recognized that, and the next step can be in a direction we care about. And that's success. So I get rid of the idea of "off" or "on" days. And that makes health and happiness much easier because I'm always working from a position of success.

[@caromcloud]

You should make a video about this Mark. When you have mental illness, it's easy to start worrying, when will I relapse next, or what if my progress gets destroyed? The mental approach you're suggesting helps make this line of thinking unnecessary.

[@Cyclops4770]

I will try, and stick to it, see how it goes, and see if there have been any improvements.

[@tonyphillips1079]

Thank you

[@MovieandMidnight]

Well I have been diagnosed with OCD & occasionally I tend to worry about losing my friend now as a friend because an old friend I had was a friend but then started badmouthing me then started telling me he was too busy to hang out but was online posting pics with other people & always told me he was too busy to hang out. So my main root fear is losing a good friend of mine now always taking examples of what happened with the old friend & turning into worries about losing the new friend when he is still my friend

[@terencereed7957]

Tremendous advice

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Terence!

[@lingchen5261]

Hi Mark, your 9 tips of OCD videos really helped me a lot, I felt much better once I stop giving in to my obsessions. However, after my OCDs are solved, I realized I'm still left with general anxiety issue. I believe the root of my anxiety boils down to my eating issues (fear of losing weight). I had bad digestive issues in the past and I always fear losing weight. When I'm anxious I would hold my breath and lose my appetite. How should I deal with it?

[@ryantan2936]

Thanks it helped!!!

[@Stueyknowz]

Awesome as usual ! Thx ;)

[@Solefear]

Core fears are extremely differen't to tear up when it comes to my OCD. Theres no end but i see where you're coming from. It does not matter how much acceptance you apply to one, there will always be another. the compulsive element, i guess causes so much manipulation, not like GAD. But see where ya coming from

[@JohnDoe-qj5ik]

I've tried to explain this to people I've talked to about my OCD, but none of them were interested. Their only concern was getting me to stop the compulsions. Addressing the root cause was a secondary concern at best. I also thought it was interesting how you realized that your fear of your house burning down was more about a fear of being held responsible for the house burning down and that that would result in people hating you. I have essentially the same fear, only for me it's a fear that if I don't clean my hands and possessions perfectly, I'll be held responsible for being "disgusting" and people will hate me for it.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It did help me to see that stopping the compulsions is how you address those roots. This video is just to help people see that there are lots of different compulsions connected to the ones they may see as problematic. Recognizing that checking the stove is about social anxiety is just to point people towards cutting out social anxiety compulsions they might otherwise view as "normal" or not a problem or just "part of my personality".

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's the same challenge everybody with OCD runs into. Whether you're worried about checking the iron bcs leaving it on could would do some damage, or whether you're worried you've hit somebody with your car and you want to go back and check, or if you're worried you've hurt somebody emotionally and you want to check on that, or if you're worried you're going to lose your job and you want to try to control that. They're all the same. Reacting only fuels your anxiety disorder

[@mmlaycock23]

Hi mark. Great video. I was wandering how is the best way to accept the root fears when you have identified them? Just look at them or meditate on them perhaps? The 'five remembrances' gave me this idea

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Matthew Laycock The Five Rememberances can be a help with that. It is about sitting calmly in feelings that can be a big part of those fears. But I also think it's very important to show our brains when they're wrong. And a great way to do that is to do more of the things you value and to do things that you might have avoided because of those root fears. It's a very active process. Meditation is great but you have that opportunity to bring that acceptance into your everyday actions. If you spend all day reacting to a fear, you could look at that as a form of meditation as well. Even if you spend 30 minutes meditating on accepting a fear each day, if you spend another eight hours practicing reacting to that fear, then the fear will continue to grow and blossom.

[@mmlaycock23]

+Mark Freeman thanks Mark :) day of getting out and doing some of that good stuff tomorrow whatever the weather in my head :)

[@chad4149]

I tried some of your help and overcome a couple if not 3 big ones.The cloud theory and the root is also something is something I got from a pychotic episode to do with a lady.she effects those around her.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I think this would be a great compulsion to get rid of because doing the types of things you're describing will only make OCD grow and expand in other areas of your life as well. Are you able to access treatment in your area? I'd recommend somebody who does Exposure & Response Prevention or Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, with a track record of helping people recover from OCD. Recovery is possible and it's really great not to have to ruminate on things like this all of the time.

[@tetonic]

love the caveman reference ;) i am afraid of whatever is terrible. My loved ones being threatened by harm or past actions of mine and there it is actions of mine harming the people i care about. before that it was mostly about my health. this hinders me when i wanna relax or sleep.

[@Javster]

Great channel. Subbed

[@thewizardofoz44]

Hi Mark, I have another concern which I hope you may help to find gradual peace, probably through ERP. Along with OCD impacting my ability to make decisions and act (the oh-no feeling that produces tremendous anxiety), I also have outward manifestations of OCD, like fear of going through tunnels (MOSTLY CONQUERED), or most scary of all, a lifelong fear that I am, or will become, a vampire OF SORTS. When I see stakes in the ground I have a compulsion to pull them out of the ground for fear I will be damned eternally. I remember my brother using stakes for tomato plants when I was young and being tormented by them. The imagery often consists of me being in a casket with a stake through my heart. Almost two years ago, I went on my first trip to Europe with my Sister and her husband ( a gut-wrenching decision in itself). One of the side trips was a visit to an abbey high on a hill in Austria. Just as we were leaving to get on the tour bus, I noticed two wooden stakes or markers in the ground. I immediately told myself, "Bill, keep walking". Instead I caved in, as I often do, and tried to pull one of them out of the ground. It didn't budge. Anxiety consumed me on the bus back to the river boa, and for the remainder of the trip. To this day, any thought of this torments me. I have tried to use ERP in subsequent instances of this obsession, but even now I have a strong urge to go back to Austria and pull those two posts out of the ground. Any thoughts? Do I just name it OCD, and move on somehow? My guess is that the primal fear is one of death itself. Bill Cromwick

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I don't find it useful to name something as "OCD" because our brains will just come up with "normal" things to obsess about and it becomes an easy way to relapse into problems. With any fear, I find it useful to just accept that it's happened and bring the focus to how you want to spend your time and energy now in a way that's meaningful to you. Struggles with anxiety often depend on the possibility of the unwanted thing happening. And then we spend hours and hours thinking about how it could happen and trying to prevent it. For instance, I often tried to prevent something from killing me. But that only led to believing more and more things could kill me. And then I didn't have a life because I was too busy trying not to die. So it helped to just accept that I was dying later today, so how did I want to spend my final hours in a way that aligned with the things I cared about in life. I didn't want to spend them on compulsions.

[@TheMoldyMama]

Thank you for this. I so appreciate it. "Tackling those core fears". I dipped deep into depression at the beginning of this winter and have had increased OCD symptoms lately. I have allowed myself to go into the depression and see where it leads. Guess what? Exactly what you brought up in this video. I hadn't thought to apply it to my OCD! Thank you. The root of my depression is also the root of my OCD. Death, relationships, resources. Beautiful.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Lisa. I hope digging into those things has given you some insights to embrace the uncertainties and move forward on your journey. All the best as the journey continues!

[@mobius1234]

The root of mine is getting sick and becoming disabled or dying. That why everything gets contaminated so easily for me.

[@anonanon7553]

My fundamental fear is complete lonliness. But I also have a lot of anxiety around life being fundamentally pointless. This gives me a lot of anxiety. And this is my biggest problem I have no idea how to approach or deal with a life that is pointless in the end ... Like everything is for naught. Even joy is pointless. So that gives me a huge amount of anxiety

[@1just2another3girl4]

Do research and call some up in your local area! A lot of them are willing to correspond with you via email or phone call to so if you're a good fit. Ask them if they have experience with OCD/Anxiety Disorders and their experience with the type of therapy you're looking for - CBT, ERP, REBT. That's just my advice.

[@roxannaguide4233]

Thank you for your video. One question though- how do you "tackle" a fear of death, of a loved ones death, of being alone, etc. What are some ways to do so? Thank you

[@everybodyhasabrain]

The thing I would look for our actions you engage in to avoid the consequences of those fears. For example, we might do many things to avoid feelings of being alone or loneliness and we might judge being alone as a very bad thing, whether it's ourselves being alone or somebody else. But if we do all of those things, it's only natural that our brains would learn to be very afraid of being alone. If we're constantly reacting to loneliness to avoid it, that sends a big signal to our brain that it's something to avoid. So your brain will look for other ways you might end up alone and it starts throwing lots of intrusive thoughts as an attempt to help us avoid that thing we want to avoid. But if you start to show your brain that it's ok to be alone, that it's not something to be afraid of, that you can bring compassion to yourself and others when they're alone, that you can sit in that feeling of loneliness and still do the things you value, then your brain will reassess the labels it's attached to being alone. It will no longer be a thing to avoid. And then your brain won't have to keep throwing those thoughts at you. A similar approach can be applied to any fear.

[@thewizardofoz44]

Hello Mark, I also would like to ask a question in the hope of learning some new tools. The issue I have is this overwhelming desire to know and somehow experience( in my imagination or some such way) what I missed in life. I am someone that unfortunately missed so much of my life, including much of my youth, friendships, a sexual life, relationships, mentorship, along with a Mt Everest of regrets. I am know 58 and feel tremendous loss. OCD played and continues to play a very strong role. But I also have concurrent mental health issues, including symptoms of personality disorders (I constantly end up pushing people away out of suspicion, doubt, or fear of humiliation, NOT BEING COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN... ETC...), depression, shame over my still unresolved sexual orientation (again OCD playing a disabling role). BUt I think what gets in the way the most is a constant yearning to ruminate rather than perhaps a blind acceptance that I will never know in many cases. It's like I want to know the fullness of these missed experiences; especially college, youthful sex and relationships. I need to let it all go, but find it virtually impossible to do(???) Bill Cromwick

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This video on the Anatomy of a Compulsion might be useful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJbcn3V7e8iFmpY It explores the components that lead up to a compulsion. Beliefs, judgments, and desires all play a role. Understanding those component parts is useful because we can change them. It really helped me to see that there were beliefs I was holding onto and desires I was chasing after that just weren't useful. When it comes to cutting out ruminating, it can help to start by working on cutting out ruminating around things that don't bother you as much or that seem like "good" things to think about. I had to look at how I was thinking--about EVERYTHING. I was basically training my brain to obsess.

[@immaisuradze]

Omg this makes so muchh sensee ill try it out and find out why am i afraid, and when ill find the root how should i remove it?

[@manuelbenitezsoria4234]

Totally agree. My only root is death fear. But the question is how to work on acceptance to eliminate this irrational fear ( i Say irrational because how we can fear the most irrefutable truth of our existence)

[@heisafraidofspiders]

I guess I now developed fear towards OCD itself, towards being "mentally ill". And constantly investigating on whether I have it or not, whether it exists or not, trying to examine all my thoughts and thinking patterns either to prove or validate the presence of disorder. I literally forced upon myself some new obsession I've read about and constantly relate it to this process of checking if I can overcome it or will OCD make me stick with it. Have you had doubts on OCD itself?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Perhaps "everyday" or "normal" are probably words people use to refer to these types of compulsions. Checking email is a good example: if a thought pops into your head: "I wonder if I got an email from Jim," and then you check your email, you've just engaged in the same compulsive process that underlies OCD: Reacting to an uncertainty to try to be certain. The thing you're trying to be certain about is irrelevant. It's training your brain to follow that pattern that causes the problems.

[@laceincission88]

Would it also be safe to say that its not just us OCD sufferers but every human out there has certain deep fears in their minds? Because to think of just us having the misfortune to live with fears is very discomforting and scary..

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Uncertainty about harm and death. It's just like any other compulsion that involves checking to be certain about your health, or trying to control the world so you don't get harmed.

[@cosovic14]

Once I've gotten to the root, the way to take care of that is also ERP right?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I hope it helps!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

cont'd... Learning how to eat in a healthy way and introduce healthy cooking and eating habits into your life in a structured way will help turn eating into an action you take that aligns with your values instead of a reaction to past problems or anxieties. Working with a personal trainer or registered dietician could be helpful. Happy eating!

[@jasonpafilis9141]

Hello Mark! Let me start by saying that i find your videos very helpful and you have helped me understand some things about my situation.I am 20 years old and i was always a very sensitive and shy guy(i was an only child), I didn't have a lot of friends during middle school.In middle school i started having bad thoughts about losing my parents etc and i did compulsions like touching things repeatedly or in a certain way.My performance in school got worse as i was avoiding to study , something that i did until this semester. These compulsions continued to exist as i was growing up but in a lower level so they didn't bother me but i was always asking myself why i was doing them and i also knew that wasn't normal.Three months ago i got sick but it wasn't something serious just a common cold ,the problem was that i got better and then i got sick again which really triggered my psychology.and i was always thinking about how this virus got me out of my everyday program,wondering if this a serious health problem (cancer or something else) and by believing that in a way i was avoiding doing things like go out with my friends or go to the gym,i literally wasn't in the mood of doing anything and i was even scared to go out by myself at some point.By that time, i wasn't feeling like myself, i had ruminations about the world being fake or a thing of my imagination,existential questions, derealisation/dp ,how can i be alive, how people are alive etc.but i didn't have physical compulsions.I now know that all these repetitive thoughts are my defense to fears but sometimes its so hard to believe it even though i know it.I also stopped completely the physical compulsions that i used to to.My psychologist also said to me that the problem with me is the extended adolescence that i live and the fact that all my life i was counting on others,mainly my parents,which i think its true and also that i have a problem taking my responsibilities.I told you all this because i want to ask you what do you think my fears are because i really wanna stop having these bad repetitive thoughts and obtain real confidence so i can be happy again.

[@The.Gemini.Sisters]

Hey, I'm struggling with almost the same things as you (I'm 25 now). I have been battling social anxiety since I was in highschool, and before that I was a very shy and sensitive child as well. I don't think I have any physical compulsions, mostly exhausting mental circles and analysis "why, why, why". I hate that our minds can do this to us. I am so exhausted and feel like I'm losing myself.

[@ryantan2936]

Did you took any medication to help you overcome this OCD issues?