Killing OCD Monsters

The first step is to stop feeding them compulsions. The second step is to hug them.

[@lostinthoughts13]

You are saving my life,i don't know what to say.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

2) Experiencing the feeling of despair that follows when your brain thinks you've fallen off into the Grand Canyon. For me, it really felt like falling. My stomach would do the thing it does when a roller coaster drops and my mind would just fill up with "ahhhhhhhhh!". Choosing to avoid that keeps OCD around. But eventually the roller coaster becomes a normal part of everyday life. You're able to be present, and breathe, and experiencing things being how they are, not how your brain judges them

[@wasela2983]

Still so relevant in 2020! thank you, love your presentation and storytelling skills. All the very best!!

[@kungfumcgee7992]

Thank you so much man. As Bruce Lee said, “be a calm beholder of what is happening”. Just because I have a thought does not mean I need to react to it. Remaining calm and objective has been the biggest help for me and of course your amazing videos. I cannot convey how much you have helped me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It is so useful to recognize we can just have brain stuff. No need to put it in charge of our actions. I'm glad you've found these resources helpful!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

A couple of things that helped me in that situation: 1) Recognizing that believing I "need" to do something is just a belief and one that was making me sicker. It's not different than believing you need to drink a bottle of whisky before you leave the house in the morning. It's an addiction worth throwing out. cont'd...

[@ivywilliams47]

Thank you so much for what you are doing. You videos are great for teens!! Now I’m gonna have to find one of those monster stuffed animals lol

[@josephsmolko7742]

These videos that M.ark Freeman has made helped me to stop my compulsions, and my harm ocd thoughts.

[@MrSeancoffey93]

I’ve been watching these videos for years and I can honestly say I don’t think I would be where I am today without them, I hope you read this mark and I’d love to somehow repay you or your cause in the future. Thank you so much

[@paige15803]

Yes I haven't recovered no where nearly but this just sucks

[@dovestone_]

Thank you so much for all your videos, when I feel really anxious/ stressed / OCDy and out of control they really help me to stay in control. Thank you so much.

[@waqasullah5125]

same here

[@paige15803]

Wish I could stay in control HOCD hits hard

[@ahill7684]

Thanks Mark. These videos are a real gift to people with OCD, at any stage.

[@yashukumar8764]

rip ocd monster.....thnx... mark now i am on amazing path of recovery........and now feels so much good

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy!

[@paige15803]

I hope one day I can say that 😭🥺

[@thespoon9685]

Mark, you are amazing, man! I always love your attitude and how simple and clear you are when you speak about overcoming OCD. I have this intuition that often times, if things are really simple in your life, you're on the right track (with regards to overcoming OCD). A huge compulsion of mine is to figure out everything, and it's amazing how many times I want to figure something out "just once" or how many problems I can come up with to solve. It is endless. Then I think if I don't figure out how to do all this, how do I know how to get past it? I let that go too...I am unsure of how it will all work out. But I stop trying to figure it out, and go for the healthy behaviors I want to bring into my life.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! Keep going for those healthy behaviors!

[@SwiftieKat]

This is something I need right now. Thank you. My OCD has rocketed and I'm feeling like the only person in the world. This is what I need to hear. You're brilliant. Trying so hard to ignore it. I know it's the only way. This video is my motivation. I will beat this. It's not real. It's just a thought.

[@paige15803]

Don't ignore it it doesn't go away yes it might help but try thinking in your head when they come say "it's just so thought X3" or "is that the best you can do COME ON bring it on I'm strong than you "

[@hagener]

Dude, you're a life saver. Not enough words to say how much your videos have helped me. Much love from México.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you! Happy to be part of the adventure!

[@melissabeckham6917]

Thanks again for another great video. Your analogies are so helpful to me. They help me step back, gain perspective, and start to resolve subjects that feel too prickly to confront.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

:) Enjoy picking up those prickly subjects!

[@jamesGT78]

I feel relief already. Thanks. Humouring anxious thoughts i found good too. Much the same as this only making a joke about it. It's all about changing how we respond to our anxiety. The worry trick is a great book. It's where I found out about humoring anxious thoughts.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks. Mentally testing or any other kind of checking would be a compulsion, too. They can be inside our heads or outside. You might find it helpful to look in other places for ways that you're trying to check on, cope with, or control uncertainty. Sometimes the things that are bothering us the most, like HOCD, aren't the things to start with. Easier things that seem "normal" are usually better places to start.

[@tobysmith8032]

Mark, you are an absolute tonic 😊thanks so much for this message x

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Toby!

[@farzadk6428]

Hi Mark, I have probably watched most if not all you videos. This is one of my favorites, which I have watched multiple times. I have tried this technique many time, although in my case with very spotty success rate. I guess when it comes down to it 'uncertainty' terrifies me and my battle with OCD over the last 30+ years has been wearing me down. Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights, really invaluable. I watch your videos frequently to lift my self back up.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for watching!

[@VeganowledgeJJ]

Mark I can’t tell you how grateful I am, this video alone has truly helped me overcome a lot of compulsions I am still a work in progress not all the time can I not feed the monster however I am getting better at it

[@FenderLewis]

Fantastic communicator. Also, good video lighting - especially the natural rim light on the left side.

[@ericfrank9630]

You are seriously brilliant. This helped me so much.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Glad it helped!

[@user-pf6db1os7o]

@@everybodyhasabrain I have OCD I hurt someone in the past and now I'm afraid that I will feel guilty of ever So how do I know that this is OCD and not a real thing

[@deankerr2469]

Hi Mark, thanks a lot for making the videos, they're all really helpful. My ocd has kind of spiralled out of control just recently. I didn't think it could possibly get this bad. I'm going to order your new book soon after I finish the one I'm currently reading. This illness is so debilitating. Thanks again Mark :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Happy reading! You can move past this and it'll just seem like a bump in the road behind you :)

[@deankerr2469]

I'm looking forward to reading it! I hope so Mark, I do believe in myself but sometimes the overwhelming feelings of doubt kick in making recovery seem impossible. The feelings of uncertainty around my obsessions is very weird. Despite all the evidence, these fears still feel real, when I know it's just ridiculous. So confusing. I know I can do this though! Hope you have a nice weekend ahead, Mark. Keep up the great work😀👍

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Dean! I believed all of my fears. Trying to prove them wrong and make them feel not real when only keep them around. There's a part in the book about soaking in doubt and uncomfortable emotions like they're a hot spring bath. Enjoy the soak!

[@deankerr2469]

You're a legend, Mark. Love watching your videos. Can't wait to read your book and take more steps to improving my mental health. #readyforthesoak

[@TheOfficialViera]

The violent thoughts went away for a while. But then I cooked on one of the days and they popped right back in... I was fine for about a week and now its bugging me again. But anyway, when I get these thoughts I just watch your videos and it makes me more calm because I feel secure in away.

[@luckykaushik2473]

Rip ocd monster😀😂😂

[@Classof-et4wd]

Lucky Kaushik get it!

[@badermohsin316]

You are a great human being , thank you

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I appreciate your kind words!

[@magnusg20]

Thank you so much you are such a fantastic Human being

[@everybodyhasabrain]

:)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

When it comes to tackling OCD, the thing that's bothering us the most is typically not the thing to start with. It comes at the end of a long list of compulsions that don't bother us much. Those are the ones to start cutting out first. So doing a structured OCD recovery program helps tremendously. That's what I did after years of just trying to make tiny changes. For long-term recovery, it helps to tackle the entire beast.

[@jiyounghwang9437]

Hi Mark. I cried so hard today because of this frustration again. I did mindfulness sometimes in the morning and i thought i was managing my ocd well. I teach piano and the Monster is coming back again at my work time.I feel truly disable and hopeless even more than the first time realised i had ocd. I am really hoping that i only have obsession not the compulsion. The problem is when i tried to let that be and do what ever i had to do it literally paralysis me so i can not focus. Can i really have a hope that ill be compulsion free one day. You seem like you dont have the relapse. Thank you your video is always the one still make me understand of my ocd again.

[@waqasullah5125]

bro your videos are the only source i have right now, i can't afford therapy and here therapist do not exist i also can not afford psychaitrist fee and costly medications,i some wish i could meet you, but any way i am struggling but at the same time i am pushing myself through these amaizing stuff, thank you for every thing :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Keep taking steps!

[@YogeshAswar]

Thank you so much Mark, you helped me a lot

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm glad you've found it helpful Yogesh!

[@paige15803]

I hope I can get over this it just feels real but we can do it

[@dipaliacharyaa6568]

hi mark i am diagonised with ocd...i dont know why it started...i was very good in studies...and always i wanted to be the best..suddenly during my board exam...wen i was preparing and practicing the same chapters..i started finding way to get rid of that pressure..and to imagine irrelvant things...then i felt guilty...completely irrelevant thoughts and trying to get rid of that...i used to think how it would be if i dont study...and..thinking possibility of funnier profession which do not require educational qualification..then i used to panic ....if i see any dumb person in tv serial...then i used to think.. they can distract me...if any one tell me beautiful ...i used to get afraid that if i become dumb as the beautiful models dont have brains..out of compulsion always i thought the negative..i had cut my cheeks with blade so that i could not look beautiful and become Like model...i was terrified...i dont know what lead me to this...from then a thought is there that ...i cant study .if these thoughts come...i am afraid...recently i am diagonised with ocd..i feel guilty...i want to study...and dont want these thought..i am so sheful that these thoughts disturb me...if i see any nude picture i think that if i was in this picture...then depression takes over.. i feel like i should commit suicide...why this thoughta come wen 3xam is near..why i think that i can not complete task because previously some thoughts terrified me...i am tired ...every day wake up with these thoughts..

[@Cheesetoon]

Thank you so much for helping out. Unfortunately, I just found your channel, so my OCD is still "rampant" and it will take some time to get rid of it, but I can tell that you are going to be able to help me!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Have fun reigning in the rampant beast!

[@Cheesetoon]

***** Haha! Yea, I guess you could say that. The only problem is that my anxiety seems to be quite resilient, not giving up despite how many efforts I put in to stop them. It is going to take some time, but I have watched some of your videos, and your advice is legendary!

[@swaggkidd214]

wow I thought I was the only one with these specific symtoms,looks like OCD is real.

[@anonymousaccount9734]

thank you so much for these videos

[@Calminmind]

Mark , i have got most of the phisical compulsive stuff like door checking so on very low on my ocd spectrum. My thoughts that i have a deadly disease becuase of a uncertain headache ,toothache or whatever are more how mine work. It seems like evertime i do challenge the ideas my mind finds a new scary idea. Now im not dying of " deadly disease" anymore so it must be a religious thing like god is paying me back for thinking Bad..and if its not a religious thing it must be im crazy,.so on so forth. Your vids are very helpfull. And i enjoy watching .

[@jesushernandez-eo8fq]

I like the analogy.. well done my friend!!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks!

[@pankajvishnani2002]

Man you are too good 😂♥️..much love

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you so much 😀

[@fixamacka]

Haha really funny video, thanks! I already did this in a way. I think if it as a kind of virus in my brain that injects fear and feeds on compulsions. I recognize that it usually kicks in when I'm bored, so the OCD has taught me to stay busy and stimulated which is a good thing.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! Seeing it as virus that feeds on compulsions is a great analogy.

[@VeganowledgeJJ]

I watched this again because the monster was trying to come in hard because he saw me not feeding him I need to revisit this video often it gets me to a good place where I can hug the monster in a sense and not entertain him

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy becoming friends with the monster!

[@VeganowledgeJJ]

@@everybodyhasabrain thanks Mark it seems when I struggle is after having a few great times enjoying what I want to do, then I have this really seemingly down moment where my brain can not grasp that my thoughts aren’t real and then I am unable to hug the monster and get through it and end with me doing my old compulsions. Is this the monster coming harder as it is leaving me? I think I know the answer however I seem to still be inconsistent Maybe I tried to take on too many monsters at once? I don’t know I’m still trying to stay on remembering to continue to not fight my thoughts however if seems I revert to that comfort zone

[@danceinocean]

I knew to start on smaller compulsions first but wow I think I might have took on too many. I have soooo many compulsions I kind of just decided to stop doing all of the 'easier' ones at once. I actually have handled it pretty well but there have been a few days where it's really felt like too much. It's good to know that I don't have to do all of them at one time.

[@Young-Bump]

This is an amazing video

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you! 😁🙌

[@lukegraham852]

Thank you.

[@rdhulljr]

This is brilliant. Thanks Mark. : )

[@zoologynerd]

Ok, Only one little monster at a time. Good advice because its easy to think "well, that's just a small compulsion, I should work on several at a time." Thanks for the reminder to really focus on one at a time so as not to be overwhelmed.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Domo makes for an awesome backpack. But I bet you can learn to feel safe without Domo there, too.

[@valerina658]

Happy monster killin !!

[@gingerisevil02]

Terrifying concept for me to wrap my head around but I'm going to try it and hope it works. I didn't give into a compulsion to an intrusive thought today and it helped! It was an easier monster so it was easier but I'm hoping this is a start. The compulsion was to block someone because "omg they can't know I'm struggling! That would be bad!" I had to step back. It was really really uncomfortable. >.

[@gingerisevil02]

I'm just worried about my scarier fears of the uncertainty of the future... the prospects of moving, not having much support, early morning construction starting next year when I already having trouble with neighbor noise, and how I'm going to deal with this, my life will be ruined, I can't do this, what will others think and will they be worried, etc etc. all those terrifying thoughts.... I'm hoping it's not as bad as my thoughts are saying it is. I've self harmed this year cause my brain is really taking over this year.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's great you're feeling a lot better now. Are there any specific things you want to know about practicing Acceptance with OCD symptoms? Specific symptoms?

[@MarianaFFFernandes]

Hi Mark! Again, thank you for your work :D I feek that they are so helpful that I wanna hug you! My question here is... Sometimes I have pop up mental compulsions. When I realize I have already performed in my head. It wasn't even a choice, it's automatic. Mental compulsions are trickier for me to avoid. What do you think about this? Kind regards, Mariana (:

[@NYRfan4ever]

awesome video. I'm fighting this monster now. he is going down! tonight i added a ton to my exposures

[@paige15803]

I did exposure I went out to play football but I can tell you the ANXIOUTY came and I cried 😭 but I did something

[@valerina658]

Thank you Mark

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome, Valerina!

[@Kikuye]

It's ironic, because my backpack is a Domo, like that stuffed animal. I take it everywhere. Usually when I'm anxious and sitting in a chair I have it in my lap and am just hugging it, as it somehow makes me feel "safer".

[@bettina_s]

Im reading your book and it is very helpful but yeah, some compulsions I try to at least delay literally cause me anxiety for days or weaks or months. 😩

[@Sage-hl5ir]

I'm not sure if I have OCD, but I obsess over learning stuff. When I learn a new topic, I keep on checking the material to make sure I have successfully learnt it. Not in a healthy manner (which would be revision), I obsess over it. I can't do anything else, or if I do anything else I can't enjoy it. That thing is always on my mind.

[@VeganowledgeJJ]

I find myself saying out loud don’t feed the monster and hug the monster lol thank you sincerely JJ

[@barryabrook8799]

Hello Mark thanks for the video. When doubt arrives, I feel like I am "standing at the edge of the grand canyon" and need to hold on to something because it doesn't feel right and something terrible will happen...Saying in my head that I have to embrace this is useless at that moment and emotions are ambiguous. How did you proceed for hugging the monster or embracing this feeling of "something is not right"?

[@ilovejapan2011]

This is great :)

[@lucasbgw3442]

o my gosh thank you so much

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Lucas Williams You're welcome!

[@Ashleyiza]

Hi Mark, This is a video that I always always go back to to help me. Lately I have noticed a lot of progress with my OCD, even though it's a constant effort, but what do you do when you think a monster is killed off but it returns.......... Im trying to look at my progress by my actions im taking in my life and the consistency of doing healthy things.. But I guess I can't help but be a little frustrated.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Hi Ashley, what you're experiencing is actually a useful step to tackle on the recovery journey. As long as we're afraid of a monster coming back or we judge ourselves for it and hate the thoughts and feelings when they return, then we're still practicing the same old OCD behaviours. As long as we want to avoid an experience, our brain will give us that experience. If you want to be certain that the door is locked, then your brain will give you uncertainty about the door being locked. If you want to be certain you've gotten rid of an anxiety, your brain will give you that anxiety so you can try to get rid of it again. So a next step you might find useful to explore is loving the monster. When it shows up at the door again, can you give it a big hug and be happy it's there and let it know that it's welcome to come in but you're busy with some things you care about. It can hang out with you while you work or spend time with friends but you won't be able to chat with it or wrestle with it right now.

[@rosk3343]

Mark Freeman 7

[@drewfoster6138]

Hi Mark my OCD has developed into existential OCD, I feel like accepting the thoughts will cause me to lose myself completely. As a reference its very similar to season 2 episode 18 of lost. (apart from not actually seeing 'Dave' or hearing voices). I'm not sure what to do, as trying to get better but I don't know where to start.

[@hollywhelan]

Thanks again!

[@aN94xo]

Hey Mark, great video! I just have one question...i keep doubting that I have OCD because I cannot clearly pinpoint what my compulsions are. I deal with HOCD, and I dont have any physical compulsions, although I do find myself mentally testing, so i guess that could count as one? I don't know where to start figuring out what im doing to feed OCD. Thanks for everything :)

[@amincayar4218]

Hey Mark, I am thankful for the information you share with. It helped me to cut off one of my compulsions which is smoking (and not only cigarettes). For 7 months I don't smoke at all and I feel myself way differently. I have 2 questions: 1. Will the fact that I cut off this compulsion help me with cutting off other compulsions (rumination, controlling, checking, worrying)? 2. Soon I will need to be in a place in which the people I contact with smoke (and not just cigarettes). One medic told me once that if I go there and I will face a situation in which I will be in front of 2 people, they will always make relapse and I will start smoking again. I feel inside of me that I will withstand this. Do you think that the medic is wrong and I shouldn't avoid these people and their company (which is very difficult)? Thank you.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Amin Cayar Congratulations on cutting out smoking. In answer to your questions: 1) Cutting out a compulsion is great practice for cutting out other compulsions, but you still have to cut them out. They're no different than smoking. 2) No, being in front of 2 people smoking doesn't make you relapse. It's important to learn how to be around others without relapsing. It might be difficult but it's in your control.

[@boyfriendoftheyear]

you the best bro!

[@pixie89]

Thanks

[@abrahamr.e.6085]

Hey Mark this video helped me so much! But every time i think about the fact that i have this OCD (i actually have HOCD) illness, my anxiety levels will go up to the skies and i feel hopeless, i feel like i'm not gonna be happy anymore and i won't be able to overcome this. Are these feelings part of the OCD? or is it something else? I went with a professional and it helped a lot but when i stopped the sessions i started to feel like this, what is this?

[@amansethia8989]

You are amazing mark... I have one problem.Plz help me out dear. I used to love my father more than anything.But I dont know how and when...Suddenly one day I started checking my feelings towards my father.I started to imagine situations like my father is dead or he is hurt and check my feelings towards such situation. Whenever I check,I feel like not getting the feelings I want.I want to feel sad by imagining that my father is no more,but I dont feel that way.So, I thought whether I really love him or not? I used to check my feelings towards other persons.Those are OK.But feelings towards my father,which is most important to me are not coming right when checking. Is this OCD?

[@yunkozilla8178]

hi mark, i love this video but my obsession has me so uncertain about my loved ones. i have this fear that if i have these insulting dark thoughts towards my loved ones that i am actually going to hate them. but ive been practicing getting out of my comfort zone and hugging this monster and it has gotten a lot off of my shoulders. im still worried for the future if i will actually start to hate my friends. these are just thoughts, right?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's a very common fear to struggle with. We're often afraid of losing loved ones or losing relationships. But reacting to that fear only fuels the fear. Reacting to them encourages your brain to worry more. So when we get fears like that, it can help to shift the focus towards building those relationships and doing things you value with the people you love. You can't control the stuff in your head but you're in charge of your relationships. Your brain can worry about anything while you build relationships in healthy ways.

[@xanderhill178]

thank you for this! Very helpful

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm glad it was helpful!

[@blazingsix]

With OCD I've recently been feeling almost relief from the anxiety and feeling significantly less distressed, but obviously because of that I feel more distressed but not more than I originally felt, I've heard about back door spikes and this only indicates that I'm getting better, but I hate the relief almost because my mind throws me a curve ball and says oh no that I'm accepting it and it means all of it is true and that I will be stuck forever, so it's almost my very recovery that is making me distressed, am I on the right track? The fear and anxiety, uncertainty and all it alot less but I just want to know if this is a indication that with time it's gonna get better and eventually the intrusive stuff will sort of drop dead and have no hold on me, So what I'm asking is it normal to feel high anxiety and uncertainty speficically when recovering, do you have any videos where you explain this?

[@whitneylaurenjones]

How long would you say after cutting one compulsion to leave it before introducing a new one to cut out? X

[@shashbandamini4533]

Hey Mark. Thank you so much for creating these videos. I wanted to ask you if is it possible to have a compulsion about doing compulsions and what needs to be done ? Basically I constantly become afraid that what I'm doing is a compulsion. For example when I'm checking my answers in a test my brain tells me " aren't you checking too many times ? You need to figure out if this amount of checking is a compulsion or not " when I try not to answer that question then again my brain tells me " but what if that actually is a compulsion ? what if enaging in it leads to a bad mental health" this makes me so so confused and sometimes it completely debilitates me from doing my work. Do you have any advice on this ?

[@shashbandamini4533]

I forgot to say this this makes me confused mostly because I'm not sure if I should listen to my brain or not. Sometimes I think that maybe I should listen to it because it may have something valuable to say

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's very common to engage in compulsions around compulsions. It can help to see it as any other health anxiety. As long as we're afraid of mental illness or relapse, then that can easily trip us up. As long as we're reacting to the fear of relapse, we've already relapsed! So I find it helpful to shift the focus away from avoiding and controlling things. We can see ourselves as healthy. There is no problem to fix. Instead we can focus on building health, not as a reaction to some fear, but because we want to live our lives and do things we care about.

[@sunriseoftheheart1827]

Hi Mark thank you for this, what if its just pure O .. we cant stop those compulsions of thought.. I have pictured myself hugging my ocd in the past and it has helped.. i wonder if buying a cute monster toy is a good idea and hugging it when thoughts arise? using it as an architype

[@sunriseoftheheart1827]

What do you think about creating drawings of our monsters? and uncovering layers for example - that reveal our innocent inner child?

[@alr.3137]

A wise man once said that some people want to feel so safe, that life itself won't even touch them, I.a. the become 'safe of life in itself'. Even if life smothers you, I.a. suffering, it is still better than not living at all.

[@45ounce]

Would you say it's a bit like being addicted to smoking? I smoked for years and decided to quit once and for all and the cravings were so bad the first few weeks to months but now Years later the thought of smoking never enters my mind.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I would say that. Breaking any compulsive behavior is a very similar experience.

[@johnmonty9484]

Mark can you please help me with my ocd I have thoughts that are like sentences that keep popping in my head that include Gods name example " God please let this (something ) happen " it's killing me how do I stop this

[@qfifty9529]

Good vid

[@IK7.]

Im constantly thinking back to my past when I didnt have ocd and how normal I was and how I used to act normally back then, you know all the memories and things I was doing before this shit hit me. Is that a compulsion? If it is, then Its so automatic and i cant stop thinking, any way to not ruminate about it?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

One thing I always encourage people to recognize is that "normal" is what got you here. It can really help to recognize that old way of doing things had a very natural outcome, which you're experiencing now. Mental health is like physical fitness. If somebody doesn't take care of their physical fitness and they eat a lot of junk food and sit around all day, they might enjoy that very much. When that naturally leads to getting sick, they might see that as suddenly coming out of nowhere. How did this happen?! They were really enjoying themselves and now there is a problem! Their doctor might tell them to make many changes. Those changes can be very difficult and they might wish they could just go back to the old normal, when they didn't have to make all of these difficult changes. But going back to that old way of doing things would only lead right back to the same experiences they hate. The same is true with mental health and fitness. Now you can see what that old way of doing led to and you can make changes that will take you in a different direction. Here's a video on this topic: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaCXk5l-rcSDjbc

[@benyowaty]

Great ! :)

[@footballking4665]

Thanks mate

[@judykeller7474]

I want Domo. He looks like a cute, angry turd.

[@AnonymousAnonymous-gd8ek]

Hi Mark. I notice you mention about always to work with a professional when cutting out compulsions. However I feel confident that I am able to overcome them myself and with the help of my family. Is it absolutely necessary to consult a professional right away? Or can I work on cutting them out myself as well as with the help of my family?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Building better mental health is just like building better physical fitness. It is entirely possible to get into great physical or mental shape working on your own. People do it all of the time. If that's something you can do, there's no need to check in with me. Get doing it!

[@AnonymousAnonymous-gd8ek]

Mark Freeman thanks so much Mark I cannot thankyou enough for your videos!

[@pcbingemaster]

apart from what he said I would add this. anticipation is the problem, to try to get rid of one thought by thinking the thought which makes no sense. You got to focus on the attitude towards the thoughts rather than the thoughts themselves. Once you change the perspective on the problem you'll actually discover how ridiculous the thoughts are

[@dams6]

HUG THE MONSTER! thanks Mark!

[@paige15803]

I'mma hit my teddy

[@pedrew1]

thanks, thanks, thank you very mcuh!!!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@brockouart3587]

I am going through erp therapy for intrusive thoughts. Is it ok to work on more than one thought at a time since I have about five thoughts that seem to change at times. When one of the thoughts takes over the others kind of fade while I'm deeling with the most intrusive one. Once that one fades one of the others kind of take over. I have been doing erp therapy for about two weeks. Also I am not taking medication but feel like it really gets pushed. Can I recover without meds?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I didn't take any psych meds but that doesn't necessarily mean anything about you. If you're doing therapy right now, then it would best to speak with your therapist about these ERP questions. I didn't understand the way you were describing ERP. Even when doing ERP around thoughts, it still focuses on cutting out compulsions. So I would look at cutting mental compulsions across any thought. The topic of the thought is irrelevant. But these are things to discuss with your therapist.

[@iambobby9177]

This is so hard

[@edward2364]

I know right is so hard

[@juxtati0n]

Hello Mark, I have watched a couple of your videos and they are very informative. I have a couple questions though. I have been struggling with harm ocd (at least I think, I haven't been diagnosed with it, my first psychologist said he thought I had a mood disorder, but everything I read online about harm ocd seems to be spot on for me) for a while now, a little over half a year. I know a lot of people have been suffering longer, but it is still very upsetting and unbearable to me. Back to my questions though. I am wondering if there is a way to determine whether you are having anxiety due to feeding the compulsions versus defeating the compulsions. Whenever I try to figure out my thoughts, when I think I am resisting them, i get a pressure feeling headache. When I think I am trying to accept the thoughts, I feel a light headed anxious feeling (I say think in those two scenarios because I am not quite sure what is going on in my mind, or what I am doing is correct). Another question is I was very into video games before all this started happening. I had the idea of getting good enough to play in tournaments and win some money. After I finally gave up on it because I decided I would never be good enough, I tried going back to school. After doing a few courses, I went back to the video games and part time job and felt content for now, thinking I have plenty of time to do what I want. I then went back to college because I was 25 and thought it was high time to get started on something because I am not getting any younger. So I decided to go for Network Security, and since I was still working I only took one course. then the next semester I took two. However, during the second semester, about halfway through I was at work (I work in a grocery store deli, a loser job) and I saw one of my co-workers who I really like pick up a knife and use it to cut open a piece of meat to slice for a customer. I had the thought "what if I used that knife to hurt her." I forgot to say this is all after a week of hardly any sleep and a nightmare the previous night. But after I thought that, my brain just spiraled into a whole bunch of anxiety and I felt like I was going crazy and was about to do something terrible. Before this I had also had thoughts that maybe I didn't really want to do network security after all, and I didn't have a back-up plan. I have to end this abruptly because I have to go to my appointment, but my questions were do you think I could be in a life crisis because I don't know what I want to do? Do you think me still wanting to have fun playing video games is ok, even though every time I get on them I tend to get anxious because I feel like I wasted too much time on them (I still want to play them because if I didn't have this disorder I would think they are still fun, even though they feel like a waste of time right now)? I know this is pretty much a novel, but I really want to know how to defeat this thing, it is unbearable and has me in tears a lot of the time. Thanks for your videos, I will keep watching!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for the questions. I'm not sure about the "life crisis". Anxiety disorders are all about reacting to uncertainty and trying to make it go away, so it's entirely normal that you're reacting negatively to this uncertainty. As for the video games, you could ask that question about anything in life. You might be struggling with some uncertainty there but do you need to resolve it? Personally, I find it valuable to focus on things that align with my values. I can't be certain about all sorts of things, but I don't have to be. I just do things that are going to move my life in the direction I want to move it in.

[@juxtati0n]

***** Thanks for the quick reply. I am very appreciative because I have hardly anyone to talk to in real life because they are all too busy or just don't want to talk about it. I have another question though. I know you're not suppose to fight, resist, or reassure yourself against the thoughts. There have been times when I use self talk like saying in my head "it's ok, it's just a (object)/thought, nothing is going to happen, everything is fine, just relax". As I said in my previous post that has helped me through anxiety attacks with vomiting. Does thinking this way while doing a breathing excercise help or hinder my chances to recover? I have been able to feel completely recovered this way before, but it only lasts for a few minutes. Also, is it bad if the thoughts may seem to be less provoking towards a certain person? I am afraid because sometimes my anxiety is so severe that I feel like I may want to do something to a specific someone close to me. If my concious mind was in control, I know I would never want to do anything to anyone, including this person, but my anxiety seems to warp my reality. I did a breathing excercise for about half an hour last night, and I finally got to that point where you can feel the full blown light headedness of relief from the anxiety. While doing this excercise, however, I wasn't thinking about the thoughts and how to make them feel better or go away. So after I felt that sensation, my mind instantly went back to "I want to hurt (the specific person)". I am very scared because I know in my concious mind I don't want to do this, and I wish this would just go away. So next time I do my breathing excercises, should I allow the bad thoughts into my mind while I do it, then maybe when the sensation hits it will take the thoughts with it? As I said before I have been able to rid myself of thinking about hurting anyone before, but only for a few minutes. So I am wondering what is going on in my subconcious that allows this to happen when it does, and how to make it stay when it happens?

[@juxtati0n]

***** I have also done some scary things that are actually against your videos, for which I apologize. Doing extreme ERP with that specific person at home without any proper help. I think it's pretty obvious I should stop that, but when I feel compelled to do it, I can't seem to resist. But the main question in the comment before I guess really was, is my way of thinking "relax, it's ok, nothing is going to happen" a way of working with or fighting against the thoughts? Is that a good thing to do?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

juxtati0n I think you would really benefit from working with a therapist that's trained in ERP or ACT and has a track-record of helping people recover from OCD. And you'd have somebody to talk to! What you mentioned as "extreme ERP" doesn't sound like ERP at all. It can help tremendously to work with a therapist or at least to follow a structured program in a book. When we struggle with OCD, our brains think up all sorts of ways to throw us off the recovery journey. So using somebody else's brain to help guide you can be very useful. Recovery and getting over anxiety issues is a practice--it's a way of living and thinking and doing. It's not about doing something for a few minutes or chasing a certain feeling. It's about doing the things in life that you really value. Right now, it sounds like you're focusing a lot on things you don't want and trying to resolve all sorts of uncertainties. I hope you can find a path to focusing on where you do want to be going and make the changes that are going to help you move in that direction. And that's probably going to involve accepting many uncertainties and learning not to try to control them because there's so many other awesome and healthy things you can be doing.

[@juxtati0n]

***** Thanks again Mark. You have actually helped me out a lot more than my first therapist did. I think I am finally starting to understand how to beat this ugly monster. I am scheduled to see someone on Monday who is trained in CBT but I am not sure about ERP or ACT. I am hoping this experience is similar to that of my fear of throwing up. Once I am over it completely for the first time, I hope that if I ever go back into these thoughts, I am able to handle them with ease and forget them. The one last thing I will bother you with though, as I am not sure if you sort of subtly answered this in your last response is, are my thoughts that I use, like saying "it's ok, just relax, you'll be fine" a good thing to do, or does that slow my recovery?

[@paige15803]

I hate this HOCD hits hard man I hate it I try to recover went 15 hours then the thought came back and brought anxiouty with it and I hate it so much

[@everybodyhasabrain]

The presence or absence of a thought has nothing to do with recovery. That's not something I would be tracking. In fact, I'd just see that as a compulsion. It helped me to recognize that practicing OCD was all about trying to avoid and control thoughts and feelings. Doing that only encourages the brain to give you more of it. So shifting the focus instead to cutting out compulsions can be very valuable.

[@paige15803]

@@everybodyhasabrain thanks man, but could you answer this question so lately I've been saying whenever I use these thoughts no I'm strsogjt I know it I only want a man and I don't want a woman but now whenever I get these thought my mind is like no your straight and even though I know I am it's so scary because it just comes when we I try to ignore these thoughts so whenever my mind just says no your straight to help me but it doesn't I know I am straight but you know I hate this so much

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@paige15803 I don't see a question in there.

[@ebbenielsen7]

Would it make any sense if you use a type of exposure technique with a patient with Pure O, where you deliberately "expose" the person to a well-known and intrusive thought, and then his task, for example, is to practice using ERP to this trigger thought? It could be in a session or perhaps as a homework assignment. Does that make any sense - and why or why not?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

ERP works the same with mental compulsions as it does with compulsions outside the head. Can you explain what you mean by: "practice using ERP to this trigger thought"?

[@ebbenielsen7]

@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you for your response. If I shall try to explain myself better: Some people with OCD (Pure O) have a lot of concrete trigger thoughts that regularly return intrusively. But sometimes it is as if they come for a period less often, but only for a period. The idea was whether it would be helpful if one deliberately confronted these thoughts to practice ERP precisely here and thus to practice evoking these thoughts or even better not to grasp and dwell on them at all (as one would otherwise do). Or is the risk of inducing some kind of vulnerability or practicing that trigger thoughts come even more often? Hope this makes better sense.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@ebbenielsen7 Thanks for explaining more. I find it's really helpful to explore the consequences of these thoughts that they're afraid of and shift the focus to the consequences. And in doing so, that often exposes many seemingly "normal" activities they're doing to manage those consequences. And I would take ERP techniques to making changes around those everyday activities. Cutting them out is likely to trigger the intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and it gives the person an opportunity to tackle that more fundamental consequence they're afraid of, which the trigger thought is just a superficial way the brain worries about that.

[@ebbenielsen7]

@@everybodyhasabrain Thanks again for your answer. It sounds pretty exciting, what you describe. However, I am not quite sure I understand some nuances of it. So allow me to ask back - and to be more specific: If, for example, it is a trigger thought (OCD thought) such as "what if my future child gets disabled" or "what if I die before my child is born "and things like that. What do you mean by then exploring the consequences of these thoughts "And in doing so, that often exposes many seemingly" normal "activities they're doing to managing those consequences"? And where could ERP be put into practice here?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@ebbenielsen7 If somebody was having intrusive thoughts like that, I'd be very surprised if they were struggling with "Pure O" because those usually go along with some very obvious compulsions: checking for reassurance online, asking people for reassurance, checking and trying to control every little thing they judge as strange, avoiding things that they worry would have some impact but actually wouldn't, checking lots of symptoms, etc. And when we look at the consequences they're afraid of, we might see even more overt compulsions. So the consequences are about digging into the why. Why are they afraid of their child having a disability? Why do they see something wrong with that? What are they afraid will happen if they die before the baby is born?" There are a bunch of different things that might come up. Maybe, for example, around the disability, they're afraid of being judged by people. So we would look at what everyday activities they do out of fear of being judged by others. And then work on making changes around those to show the brain that they don't care about being judged by others anymore (so the brain doesn't have to keep worrying about things they might get judged for).

[@xtermnation7654]

Hey Mark! So what should we do for compulsions that don’t occur very often.. like maybe once a week or so.. can we make an exception to the only cut out 1 compulsion at a time rule then? Since it will take longer to cut that one out since there isn’t a frequent exposure to it?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Of course. It's not a rule. I would also consider that it's likely part of a pattern that does happen in many other ways throughout life. So if you go after the pattern, it might seem like you're cutting it out in a variety of different ways, but it's really just one compulsion. I did things like make it a focus for a week that I would cut out a pattern wherever it came up. That can tackle lots of compulsions that don't occur often.

[@xtermnation7654]

Ok that makes sense!

[@xtermnation7654]

@@everybodyhasabrain do u have a video on identifying patterns and how to tackle them?

[@verrieshiloof4590]

I am plagued by intrusive feelings, they come from nowhere for no reason, I had one righting this, they mess me up and make me think I am completely nuts rather than the just slightly nuts that's acceptable.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It helped me to recognize that I can experience any feeling or thought. What matters is how I act.

[@johntongo112]

If you don’t mind me asking, when you had ocd what types of thoughts did you have?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I made a video that covers many of them: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f2TahaOQm7enpJY

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@shaki5146]

İt was really helpful using the monster haha

[@LeaLikesIcecream]

my compulsions are fed be the fear of getting killed by a monster, anyway like the ones you see in a horror movie

[@jais7437]

I had one theme recently and i know ruminate is going to Make it more sick but theme is so hard no to ruminate i saw my family member and thought like kissing them appeared and with in a second my head moved forward i didn't feel anxiety at that time i know some twitch happens in ocd but once this thought arrived it moved my head even though i am at distance from them some times twitch happens in ocd i will disregard it but this time i am sure i did it but it happened in two seconds of thought coming in mind not able to difffertiate help.me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It'll really help to cut out the compulsions. There will be other compulsions, so you may find those either to start working on and learn the basic skills.

[@Owais671]

I had been suffering with ruminating ocd for past 2years. but after watching this video of yours I got 99percent recover.but today after one year there is a slight relapse.what should I do now?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's not how recovery works. It could really help to approach recovery as a set of skills. It's not a place or a destination or a score. It's about your skills and capacity. In this moment, you get to apply your mental fitness skills and build them. It is just like going to the gym. Dropping a weight is not a relapse. Sweating or struggling is not a relapse. That's an opportunity to build your skills.

[@astraltraveler1984]

How long did it take for the OCD thoughts to stop after you cut out the compulsions?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Matt Ferraiolo I made a video about the first time I noticed my brain was acting differently: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jIGweKCvg8SFq8U But here's the really important thing: A big part of OCD is trying to get rid of thoughts and feelings you don't like. As long as you want to get rid of a thought, your brain will keep giving it to you, so you can try to get rid of it and get that experience that you want. That's the paradox of recovery from OCD. So it's important to change your relationship with the thoughts. They're just there. I always recommend to people that they consider this question: Why don't you spend all day ruminating on bad clouds and trying to find ways to stop bad clouds from appearing in the sky?

[@astraltraveler1984]

+Mark Freeman Hmm... Makes sense. Thanks for the helpful response.

[@Owais671]

Your videos specifically this one really helped me and my rumination suddenly stopped after practicing on your advice.but after 4months suddenly i feel like my ocd anxiety start it is 2nd day of little relapse.what should I do?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Ruminating is an action. We do it. So attributing the stopping of rumination to a video is actually something I wouldn't see as a useful thing. These videos are to teach you the skills to make changes. Mental health is just like physical fitness. We need to do the exercises and understand how to make changes. So that's what I'd look at with whatever the "relapse" is. What are you going to change? What skills do you need to learn? How are you going to interact with brain stuff differently?

[@Owais671]

@@everybodyhasabrain sir I had been suffering with rumination for 1year my ocd was 10/10 but now I am ok .old is only 1 out of 10 How can I maintain it as long as possible?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@Owais671 Sorry, I don't understand what you're asking

[@Owais671]

Sir I want to be 100% ocd free..now I am 90% better How Can I overcome my ocd completely?

[@Owais671]

@@everybodyhasabrain thanks for replying

[@zinglee718]

So would you say if I just completely stop compulsions and rumination my ocd will eventually be gone?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes. There is no OCD without the mental and physical compulsions. That does include the judging and hating on thoughts, physical sensations, images, etc. OCD relies on us hating on and trying to control experiences. So then the brain just supplies more of those experiences so we can chase the high of controlling them.