WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME FOR A WIDOW TO START DATING? : How to know if you are ready | One Happy Widow

When is the right time for a widow to start dating? How do you know when you are ready to date? In this video, we discuss the timeline for dating after the loss of a spouse, and the reasons people decide to start dating after they become widowed.
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, counselor, or any other medical professional. Information in this video is not meant to be interpreted as medical advice. I am simply sharing my own experiences in my grief journey. If you feel that your needs are beyond the scope of the informational content of this video, please seek medical advice from your doctor to discuss treatments or medications that may be available to you. If you are having feelings or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255
Helping you find your happy in the grieving process
Life, Love, and Laughter after Loss
Leo (AKA: One Happy Widow)

[@OneHappyWidow]

Have you thought about dating?

[@theresaward1758]

Yes and Engaged It was very difficult at first

[@OneHappyWidow]

Congrats! #widfam

[@blissstitchsewing]

I THINK about it all the time. And then I think it might be horrible and sad. But I also don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life at 48 years old.

[@paulastrachan4053]

@@blissstitchsewing I'm 69 and I abhor the idea of being alone for the rest of MY life, too. Life is for the living. After my mother had been widowed about 15 years, she met a nice man at church, started dating, and they married and had 20 years together. It was a pleasure to see my mother in love again, and truly excited about life. They both sold their homes and bought one together. They were as excited about fixing their new nest as any young newlyweds ever. They traveled and did things neither of them could afford when they were young. You might have some false starts, but it surely doesn't have to be horrible and sad. And you're 14 years younger than my mother was when she remarried.

[@blissstitchsewing]

@@paulastrachan4053 thank you!!! 🥰

[@jankarel6454]

Sometimes, as a widowed person, it seems like family and friends think they get a vote in our lives--how we live, what we spend money on, when and who we date or marry. I think they missed the memo that we're grown up, independent people, entitled to our own life. But being widowed seems to put us in a special category where they think we are not able to manage our own lives any more. I'm not interested in ever dating or remarrying (DH died not two weeks ago) but if I were, that would be my business, and not theirs. I'm way past the age of needing somebody else's permission to date or get married!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Amen to that! In fact, we probably know better than most about successful marriage, since we fulfilled our vows. So if we decide to remarry, I think we know what we are getting into! #widfam

[@thebestwillow]

You're absolutely right. I think that having a loved one die can make people's brains overrun by emotion and then they start doing irrational things like trying to tell grown adults what to do. I also wonder if sometimes this is about projection - they feel like they are betraying their dead lived one by something they are doing, but are unwilling to face up to that, so they hide from it by claiming it's what you're doing. I can't think of any rational reason why people who didn't love the person who died would tell you it's too soon to be dating again. Perhaps they are just idiots. X

[@florence1395]

Jan we think alike, I’m in UK 🇬🇧 My husband was my one a only love. Just over 18 months ago he died within 8 weeks too the most aggressive cancer ♋️ & nothing, literally nothing could be done. I’m extremely proud of myself, I’m 💯 independent in all area’s. I do what I want. Unfortunately a particular family member thinks they can tell me what I should do, it’s irritating! When I talk, just talk to other men I compare my husband to them knowing nothing is perfect but our relationship was pretty close ♥️

[@simpleliving4205]

Yes !! Thank you for that post !!

[@alfredknudson4739]

I agree with that there! Just stumbled into this site here on KZbin really looking for an assistant with some dating app I could make use of tho I don’t trust any

[@muzikaishokolad]

I’d like to share my experience. I’m a widow since 3 years and a half, my age is 41. There is a person now in my life, good person that is worth to give the chance. At some point I decided telling the brother of my husband and his girlfriend. She was so supportive and that influenced him to accept it easier, too. The things is… at the first moment I felt a relief for telling them, but then I felt so sad. Just the whole situation is kind of sad, you found a good person and that is so good, but you cannot wipe off the sadness, grief, trauma, the memories, the dreams of getting old with the father of your child and raise grandchildren together. Post widow dating is a period of readjustment, adaptation to some new future you didn’t expect at all. I think we need to be compassionate towards ourselves ❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

Very wise words!

[@paulastrachan4053]

Thank you, Leo, for speaking plainly and honestly. Too many widows are no help, because they seem to think our buried alive "sentence" is to be lonely, asexual beings for the rest of our lives. This is not acceptable to people used to a good love life and warm companionship. For those who don't know me, I was married to my husband 47 years, and counting dating, we were together half a century. He had Parkinson's and other issues, but while in a facility to recover from a broken hip, he died suddenly of a heart attack, having been treated for clotting issues for a long time. He passed over 14 months ago. I know that he loved me and would want me to do whatever made me happy, to not waste the rest of my life. I would have wanted the same for him. I will never stop loving him, but that doesn't mean it's necessary to be alone forever if I have a chance not to. It isn't either/or. He applauded those we knew who were widowed and found love again. My mother, grandfather, and some of our aunts made new marriages. Other aunts were of the , "oh, never, ever, ever" variety, but ended up falling in love and marrying again. They didn't realize what God had in store for them. And then there were the ones who just soldiered on alone. Some things I read when I was young always stayed with me. One was that the happier a person was in marriage, the more likely they were to marry again. That to remarry is a complement to the spouse you lost. It says I so liked being married that I'm going to do it again! Some people just LIKE being part of a couple, and ALL that goes with that. Another was that when you're widowed, suddenly there is no longer anyone in the world to whom you're the most important person in the world. One thing widowhood has taught me is that you don't get to have it all. Those who were cheated out of a long marriage and were widowed young do at least have the best chance of finding a new love. And those of us who were blessed with long marriages are older and know we have a lesser chance. It's hard; we're not dead yet. When covid is finally over, I'm going to be out and about going places and doing things that interest me, and if I should meet a nice, compatible man, preferably a widower, my mind is open.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I love your healthy, realistic way of looking at things! #widfam

[@pigletsbank437]

I see plentie of 60+ 70+ 80+ people find love again, at senior meetings, dancing, dating apps ( be careful) in volentering, hobbies etc. Younger ones might have kids that complicate matters, jobs, even without that we might have health issues or had so damm good partners that it's hard to find someone that makes loving again worth while

[@MikeCrook1980]

Currently "seeing" a woman who lost her husband almost 2.5yrs ago. We've known each other since high school and as of this October we'll both be in our 40s. She stated from the start (fall of '21) what she was able to give and what she could see us being (pretty much friends with benefits, though there is some level of attachment from her to me). On the flip side she is my "one that got away" and my heart has honestly always loved her. I've told her numerous times (and will continue to remind her) that should she ever want more from this that I'm willing to go down that road but I will never pressure her into anything. It is all at her pace and comfort level. But on the flip side if all we'll ever have is what we are right now then I'm okay with that as well. I made the mistake of settling before and it got me no where in life. I'd rather have what I have with her now knowing it could very well be nothing more than that than have a life with someone else but always wishing the person I was with was my friend. Thank you so much for this video. Seeing your videos (and others from other "dating widows/widowers" channels) has really helped me better understand what she's going through and hopefully be the best person I can be for her as far as support, etc whenever she needs it. She means everything to me and all I've ever wanted for her in life is for her to be happy. And that will never change.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and wanting to understand your widowed friend better. Sometimes people are able to move forward and open their hearts to love again, and sometimes they are not able to let go of the past. At least she is being honest with you about what she can handle right now. Best of luck to you both!

[@wendyeroche343]

I'm 72 and have no desire to date or remarry but I do miss being around people my age..they have a group in my church for single people over 50..but with covid I haven't been to church in almost 2yrs..watch it on you tube. Hopefully I will be ready to go back to church next year and I can get involved with this group. I do like being alone and having no one to answer too. I just miss being around people when I want too..

[@OneHappyWidow]

Hopefully as we learn to live with Covid, we will all be able to get out and socialize more! #widfam

[@MsSandi48]

I’m 73 and my husband died right at the beginning of covid -April 2020. He died suddenly of pancreatic cancer at 73. He had been very healthy and we did lots together and travelled. He was still working as a realtor. I loved him to death and I don’t think I will ever at my age get into a relationship. I have wonderful kids and young grandkids and I am a music minister at my church which we do online. I miss people and going to concerts and going out to dinner but I am my own person and am comfortable living alone although find the nights pretty lonely. I do have wonderful friends and lady friends so I think I will be ok. It was just such a shock for all of us.

[@dianerooney6012]

Thanks for the comment about grieving and loving at the same time. 🦋❤️🦋

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@LS-vb6kt]

This video says a lot. thank you. I am a young widow and these are all true. I am experiencing a “skin hunger” since I don’t go out…. I am just relying on God to fill the void with what I had before…. Again, people needs to watch this to understand the people who are grieving for days, months, years….

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@sheilab4978]

I did not want to even listen to this video because of the title, but you did a great job talking about this subject. I’m one year into my grief and I’m not close to dating, so it was nice to hear you say, that’s ok. I needed to hear that!! Thank you!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@resianemaculate.]

I am 35 years old lady A mother of two precious kids. I have been widowed for 9years now.I feel I can remarry again.May the LORD give me the right Man.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Pray about it! He brought one to me, a very good one! Of course, nothing is perfect with a blended family, but I am very thankful for him every day. I will pray for you too! #widfam

[@huntintongwalter819]

we all pray so. Amen. for your heart desire.

[@bobbyhousley9877]

Didn't think I would ever date again. Even After 36 years of being widowed. But we had a 50 year class reunion...and I saw a beautiful girl there from high school whose husband had passed as well. I was smitten but didn't let her know. After all, I am out of practice. But I finally let my guard down...not really...just had those old feelings return.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Get her number! Give her a call! Ask her out! Do something rediculous!!! #widfam

[@thebestwillow]

That's really sweet. If ever you did decide to pursue this, she'd probably understand from her own experience about being out of practice.

[@paulastrachan4053]

Life is short; pick up the phone.

[@blissstitchsewing]

I think I’m ready, but when I go on the dating sites I have a panic attack! I was just on a cruise with friends. It was a fabulous time, but I miss having someone special ♥️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Hang in there, and just navigate those dating sites with a grain of salt...lots of frogs on there, and a few princes! Just need to sort through it a while to find the good ones! #widfam

[@andersonlewis6555]

I know that feeling

[@Melissabella]

I've tried to date. I'm on several dating sites. When I get to the talking on the phone to get acquainted stage, invariably the very nice man will say something and I will think, "You're not Gilbert! Gilbert would never say that!" I know I'm not going to find Gilbert's twin, and I don't want that anyway. It just comes into my head and I lose interest. Gilbert died very suddenly almost four years ago. In fact, we were packing for a vacation when he had a massive stroke. Your pointing out that sudden death may take longer to grieve makes me feel less weird. I can't imagine ever getting married again, but I really would enjoy having a man in my life. Now that I've moved on in other areas, this is the big hurdle now. Thank you for this video. I look forward to your dating video!

[@OneHappyWidow]

I can understand that it is hard not to compare other potential suitors to your love...so maybe just think of it as getting to know a new person. Don't have any expectations of where it's going to lead, just ask questions and answer them when they ask you. If you like them, keep going...if not, politely tell them that you wish them the best, but you are not a match. Hopefully over time, you will begin to see each person in their own right. It is going to have to be a mind-shift of thinking for you, and practice will help! #widfam

[@Melissabella]

@@OneHappyWidow Thank you. I think you're right. #widfam

[@sherrykirk3876]

My husband has been gone 2 years I miss his touch. Most of all I miss him telling me” I love you baby.” I’m 66 years old I’m hoping to be with him soon.💔 I just can’t see myself with someone after 48 years of marriage.

[@Carolina-hv7sf]

Been 15 months for me and I am not interested in remarrying or dating either. We were married 40 years, dated for two years. Been with him since I was 17. I wouldn’t even want them touching his stuff. People that haven’t lost a spouse shouldn’t give advice. Day after my husbands funeral someone told me they hope I find a companion. People assume widows are desperately wanting a partner.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sherry, you're still here for a reason! I do believe that you'll be with him one day, but until then, I hope you will be able to find your purpose for this phase of your life! #widfam

[@OneHappyWidow]

I think people mean well most of the time, but it is really hard for them to relate to us and our situation. They end up saying too much and they should just say less and be there for support. #widfam

[@sherrykirk3876]

@@Carolina-hv7sf I feel the same way. My husband was my “first” every thing. I was 16 when we met. “ they said we were to young.” I haven’t touched of his stuff. I told my daughter she’s going to have a lot to go through…. “ thanks mom.” LOL. I’m okay with being alone my sweet husband left me with a lifetime of memories. You do what makes you happy.💞

[@sherrykirk3876]

@@OneHappyWidow 💞 thank you.

[@Shinaeia]

Thank you for this video, I've been watching your videos and was glad to see this one come up. My wife passed from an extended battle with cancer in April, so it's me and our four young kids. We talked about me getting remarried because we knew what was coming. It's been more and more on my mind lately but I also want to do it for the right reasons and not use her to deal with my grief. I look forward to your upcoming videos.

[@OneHappyWidow]

So you are super busy! I can relate to that, especially when we are being both parents and the breadwinner too. Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@Molly-eq1ix]

Even without the concept of grieving mixed in, dating is rough. (Remember how hard it was when you were in high school? It's rougher now because you don't have your friends who can meet you in the bathroom to consult and there's a lot more luggage involved.) And remember this is not a Disney movie...it's going to take some time and patience before the right person comes into your life. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. The bigger issue is if you don't admit it and remain in a bad relationship.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Good advice! #widfam

[@adrianamharger]

Leo, your words are always a lesson for life, they calm down our hearts. Thanks for all the help you've been offering to me and all the other widows by your videos. Going through greaving and gettting to find a way of rebuilding life and feeling is not an easy task. But, yes, we have to go on and live.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@candy5760]

Hi I lost my husband a month ago to covid it was sudden and unexpected because he started getting better but ended up on a ventilator we were a great couple married 10 yrs I’m 38 and he’s 44 we didn’t get a chance to have children…. We are both ministers and we preach the gospel it feels like all our ministry dreams are shattered and my life is ruined …. I wouldn’t mind getting remarried one day but I’m afraid my future spouse will get jealous of how much I love my late husband he was nearly perfect in all areas he pretty much taught me everything about ministry and a relationship with God it’s gonna be nearly impossible to come close to his greatness… remarriage wouldn’t be a bad thing if a person could accept we’re a package deal

[@OneHappyWidow]

I'm sure when the time comes, your Ch 2 will be understanding of your feelings for your late husband. Give your heart some time to process your grief, and things will look different to you later on than they do now. I had a hard time finding someone who understood my widowed status, so I ended up marrying a fellow widower who understands much better than the other men I met

[@kbenton8609]

I believe that love can happen at any time and when it is right you will know. I was divorced and was not looking for another husband and then I met "the one". Billy and I met thru a mutual friend on a Wednesday and we moved in together 4 days later and then got married after being together for 4 months. When he died we had celebrated our 21st anniversary 3 months earlier. It has now been almost 4 years since he passed and I am still single. I am not against having someone in my life but am not actively looking either. I am trying to move forward the best I can and figure if it is meant to be then it will happen.

[@OneHappyWidow]

This is a very healthy mindset! And I also believe that if it is meant to be, then it will happen. And I'm like you- sometimes when you know, you just know. With Dewey and JP, I knew very quickly that I was going to be with them for a long time! And I was right both times lol. Take care of yourself, and focus on self-improvement so you can offer someone out there the best version of yourself that you can! #widfam

[@austinpeter9259]

you are right there is know time for it❤

[@annwrog]

I have a somewhat similar story, but it has been 10 years for me. I was divorced first and met my dear, beloved late husband by happenstance. It was pretty fast, but not that fast!! I am not actively looking to date. I did make one attempt to date an old school classmate. We were reunited after over 40 years. However at age 63, he wanted a thirty-year-old who looked like a young Stevie Nicks.. so that fell through. I'm reasonably decent looking, but I'm not young, blonde, beautiful glamorous rockstar! He has told people that a woman like that was his dream/fantasy and I was not his "type". I'm not very resilient, so it still stings. Some other similar experiences made me very gun-shy to try to be in a relationship, or even date. I have developed a substantial fear of being totally or repeatedly rejected, romantically or physically. Even though I don't consider myself to be unattractive, I have convinced myself that no one else will find me attractive. 2 weeks ago, I started getting counseling and therapy to work on that. The fear of being rejected has become overwhelming, I think therapy will help. Dear God, I certainly hope so!! I don't want to feel or be like this. I want to be able to move forward. I wish so much that I could believe that love and romance are possible again.

[@susanswayngim1854]

I didn't watch this video at first because I'm not going to date. Lol...I "accidentally" went on a date yesterday! He said, "you need to get out of the house! Let's just go for a drive". So we did and I had fun! We laughed and talked all day. It took me a bit to figure this is a date! My adult daughter that lives with me is furious. I honestly don't know what to think about all the feelings I have today.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Good for you for getting out and having fun! It can be called whatever you like, and unfortunately your grown daughter will need to reconcile her feelings about it. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do from here- and you can just keep getting out of the house together, it doesn’t even have to be called “dating” if you don’t want it to be lol. Tell your daughter you have a friend, and that he made you smile, and leave it at that. #widfam

[@shanecaseyda142]

You've just gotta give a try. Lol. Hi susan i love your point you make on here.

[@huntintongwalter819]

You're loved Susan

[@wendysullivan1909]

Just do you. Widow just a few months after 42 years of marriage. Enjoying my time alone. But when I'm ready I will know. But life is short so if you like someone go for it.

[@susanswayngim1854]

@@wendysullivan1909 I was married 49 years. My daughter moved out because she didn’t like me dating. We are all happier now. And I am engaged to a wonderful man! I certainly did not see this coming but just count myself doubly blessed to have a second good man that loves me ❤️. No wedding date set yet but we are planning.

[@annwrog]

I just now found this channel. I'm glad I did. I've been widowed for 10 years and have not dated at all. For several reasons--my husband and I were both somewhat older and in second marriages. We were together for 24 years and thankfully our children were grown. He was 7 years older than me. He had a long-term chronic illness/health condition for the last decade of his life. Intimacy was not possible, but we had a strong bond, a close and loving emotional connection. Although we did not have a sexual relationship for the last 10--12 years (he was physically incapable due to cancer and prostate surgery) I loved him deeply. And he, I. I became a caretaker to him. But I've been afraid to try to date, because I feared getting into the same situation again. I'm 69 now and I'm afraid I've waited too long. I am in good health, and try to keep active and engaged in many interests in life, but I worry that I have let too much time pass. I am lonely and would like some companionship, but it may be too late for me to find a partner.

[@annwrog]

I would welcome any encouraging advice. It would be gratefully appreciated.!😊

[@OneHappyWidow]

I think it’s ok to find new love at any stage of life, if it’s what you want!

[@cgeisler505]

All I want is a FWB situation, or maybe just sex, but as a man, if you say that, woman want nothing, nothing to do with you. I'm not ready to be in a relationship again yet, and quite frankly, no woman will ever replace my girl. But my gods, I'm climbing the walls with this lack of physical touch

[@OneHappyWidow]

You'd be surprised at how many women out there are also looking for a FWB type situation. They might not talk about it openly as much, but if you do go on the dating apps, just be open and honest about what you are looking for, and you might find what you need. I figure with that type of situation, there is not as much importance on personality compatibility, as long as there is attraction, and mutual expectations, then you don't need a whole lot more. Best of luck! #widfam

[@risky1]

I dated a Widow.... ONCE. Never again. She almost put me in the Poor House wanting to go on Vacations and expensive Restaurants, but I loved her and I thought she loved me. Spent $60K in one year and she wanted a $30K Engagement Ring (that she never got) A guy that works for me showed me how to save $50K a year by just renting Escorts - screw this Dating noise. And I guess Marriage is out the window now as well. I have put everything in LLC's and SCorps so if they move in for a while....and claim Common Law (She leaves with exactly what she came with)

[@marilynb8136]

I totally get it. I am a recent widow and I have property and money. My retired navy husband left me with good benefits that I plan to keep. I don't want to get married again. I also don't want lavish displays of anything or expensive gifts. Just FWB would suit me fine. I'm 75

[@lindadrewl]

I am so glad you did this video. It’s been 15 months for me & I have been so lonely & missing having someone to share it with. I just don’t even know how to date. I think I was married so long I feel guilty like I’m cheat on him just thinking that. I need to go to dating school first😆

[@OneHappyWidow]

Wouldn't that be awesome?! Someone should open a dating school lol #widfam

[@bobbyhousley9877]

My sweet mama married at age 14. Widowed in her forties. If she was still alive she would be 90. She never remarried.

[@OneHappyWidow]

THe women in my family married young too. My Great-Grandma ("Big Mama") married at 13, to a man who was nearly 50! She buried 3 husbands total, and had 11 kids. Life was so different back then! #widfam

[@stormyrollins5155]

@@OneHappyWidow I miss Big Mama

[@OneHappyWidow]

She's probably got a golden snuff can in the sky! I remember we were on the way to her funeral and we stopped at Ruby Tuesday's to eat and that's when we saw the footage of the Columbine shootings on TV that day...we were so stunned!

[@hhjj5998]

My husband passed last year and I have begun thinking about dating again. I have been doing a lot of reading on this subject listening to different topics about this here on KZbin. One thing many have said is that men who have lost their spouse are able to and usually start dating quicker than women who have lost a spouse. My daddy started dating less than 3months after my mother passed. Daughters have a harder time when their father began to date than sons do. We were all grown when my mother passed and my father started dating. My sisters and I gave the woman as well as my daddy a very hard time. My brothers accepted this woman with open arms.

[@OneHappyWidow]

It’s a tough transition. Best of luck in your new journey!

[@hhjj5998]

Thank you for your kind words.

[@mikebelair5784]

I waited a little over 18 months to start dating again, didn't really work out (we are kind of set in our ways at over 60) just staying single with my dogs and doing my own things at 67 ( 5.5 years widowed). It would be nice to have someone to go out to dinner with and go on holidays with though.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I totally get that! Chapter 2 doesn’t always mean a new partner, it is whatever works for us. #widfam

[@floram3722]

@@OneHappyWidowI’ve be widowed for 4.5 yrs and I would like to go out for dinner with someone but that’s it. Nothing more.

[@malinamao5898]

Wow I needed to watch this video. Thank you for sharing this!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@utboca9999]

I am so glad I found you. Like you, I started grieving early as my husband had a progressive lung disease. Because he was in pain and it was getting harder and harder to breathe he distanced himself from me. What is your Facebook group?

[@OneHappyWidow]

That had to be tough to watch him suffering and be helpless, just watching it progress. I know that feeling all too well. Our FB group is: facebook.com/groups/onehappy we'd be happy to have you. #widfam

[@jeankarcher2460]

I'm 72 and very lonely. I really don't want to "date" but I'd love a friend to do things with. I don't know how to do that. Any ideas?

[@OneHappyWidow]

Covid makes it a bit tougher...but what do you like to do? Join some clubs, attend a local church, play Bingo, take your pet to the park, and if you're feeling adventurous, you could give the dating apps a try! #widfam

[@resianemaculate.]

@Jean karcher.Come to Kenya Will be glad to host you for a while,just for a new breath

[@itiswell3316]

@@resianemaculate. l lost my husband too, he is Kenyan and would be happy to hang around with you

[@michelleguerra7030]

My husband asked his very best friend to take care of me if anything ever happened to him. He wants to marry me now. I’m so confused 😢. But his love and affection feels so good.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Follow your heart, and know that whatever you decide, you have your husbands blessing.

[@michelleguerra7030]

@@OneHappyWidow thank you 🙏.

[@ib3928]

Thank you Leo for shearing this wisdom. Ingrid

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@kimnichols129]

We have a lot in common. From the years married, to the time I started dating. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

[@jayhorri1584]

I lost my wife 7 months ago, I had no thoughts about dating again, but I had a friend recommendation come up on Facebook, who was a girl I was with for over 6 years from school into our early 20’s. We chatted went out for a drink and hit it off immediately, we are now very much in love and getting engaged. This would not have happened with anyone else.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so happy that you found someone who can make you smile again! Thanks for sharing.

[@ttfweb1]

I lost my wife of 37 years suddenly about 5 months ago. We had a great marriage that we put effort into. Your video is very encouraging- going from someone to no one instantly is a huge hole. I’m working to navigate it!

[@OneHappyWidow]

I can understand how difficult that sudden transition is! Thanks for watching and for sharing your feedback.

[@stormyrollins5155]

Great video… I miss the movie quotes but I did like the new way that you put the clips in…

[@OneHappyWidow]

I'm trying to "match the tone" of the topic, lol. I'll go back to movie clips every now and then, I just can't help myself!

[@stephaniewallace4234]

I’m starting to dip my feet today and it be 4months on April 8th since lost him, so haven’t told anyone yet. Did have someone told me that, do what best for you everyone think that it too soon.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Don’t worry about the opinions of others…there will always be someone who disagrees with your decisions. #widfam

[@huntintongwalter819]

buckle up Stephanie. and do take heart.

[@Wookinpanub235]

Great video, down to earth and gave me alot to think about and reflect on myself and what I really want and how to take the steps to get there. Its not easy but I think I have several milestones to reach before I can consider myself ready for the perfect relationship that I have in my head. The widowed Husband of my wifes friend who died years ago wants to talk to me and have a beer. I think I need to take him up on that because Im finally at the point where I can talk about my wife to other people without losing it.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sounds like a good start for socializing. Also, you’ll have someone who is walking your path, so the conversation is easier when that awkward topic is no longer awkward. Socializing with others in any capacity is always tough at first!

[@Wookinpanub235]

@@OneHappyWidow Yeah that is true. Got a great self confidence booster today. Had three college girls staring at me when I walked by them at the store today. One of the girls said “That guy’s got the swag.” I get that alot but its nicer to hear now that I’m single.

[@CalvinGomes]

I've heard that you need to be careful about going down the friends with benefits road because, with sex, comes pair bonding. This kind of bonding can disrupt your ability to be objective about the relationship and it may result in missing red flags that were open to observation. In other words, date, leave sex out of equation and then decide who is right for getting into a relationship or remarriage. I know some will say it's different for everyone. Just be careful and try to avoid things that prevent you (in your vulnerable state) from making informed decisions.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sure it happens often! Thanks for your feedback. #widfam

[@joycewolfe1970]

Just had to jump in. I'm a 4 month widow and when I get the idea of dating my first thought is call a girlfriend or two. I've always had more fun with them anyways. My husband and I had our 51st in July this year and 9 days later he died.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Why not start with calling a few friends to go out...there's no rules, just whatever you want to do! Best of luck #widfam

[@lwg856]

I am happy for your videos. This particular one made me cry. I will be listening over and over. I am lonely and started dating again because I am tired of feeling all of the emotions that come with grieving. But I also feel guilty too.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I understand the feelings of guilt, as this is very common at first. Eventually we reconcile the feelings and allow ourselves to move forward. Prayers to you #widfam

[@lilysarpong6189]

Great speech...thanks for this

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@presentlythepresentmoment6604]

I really appreciate the video. I am seeking some insight. I am not a widow myself. My ex-boyfriend recently had his best guy friend in the world pass away. This ex-boyfriend of mine was abusive (to me and others) in a number of ways, but mainly sexually. I found out that literally on the day of his friend's death, my ex-boyfriend moved into the house and basically started fulfilling the role of his friend. Sleeping with the widow and being a father figure for the four children. At the FUNERAL six days after his friend's death he bragged to me about this (being romantic with her) and told me he has been staying with her since he died. In some sense I do value the support for the family, but in some sense I also feel that he is asserting himself to fulfill his selfish needs and taking advantage of the widow's vulnerable state. I think he viewed his friend's death as an opportunity to obtain a wife and kids... he has shown his true selfish colors to me many times before. I understand now that sometimes widows date right away, and that's okay if that's her choice, I just fear that this ex-boyfriend of mine is being selfish and is going to hurt her or the family. That being said, I am not going to say anything to them one way or another. They are both adults making choices and I acknowledge that. I suppose this is my own coping with what I find to be a messed up situation.

[@OneHappyWidow]

He sounds very opportunistic and taking advantage of a woman in her most vulnerable state. She probably barely even knows what is going on right now and is probably in a daze, wondering when she’s going to wake up from this dream. And having someone there to hold you up during this time is nice, but there’s no way she can give anything to a relationship right now. Maybe she’s using him as much as he’s using her (not intentionally, just saying maybe she’s getting what support she’s needs right now, knowing it’s not going to be anything long term). I do hope he doesn’t abuse her or the children- if you find out otherwise, that’s when I would call DFACS and have him investigated. What an awful situation for everyone involved! Some people are just downright selfish.

[@presentlythepresentmoment6604]

@@OneHappyWidow thank you so much for this well thought out response! Another opinion means a lot to me and I appreciate your words.

[@retrobilly1986]

I’m 8 weeks out. My wife was an alcoholic and died from pancreatitis. She was warned 2 years go to stop drinking but she kept going and now here we are. My therapist suggests that my grieving started along time before she passed. My adult children seem to think it is too early. I am ready to move on. I don’t want to get married again. But I do need female company.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Do what makes you happy, no matter what timeline you choose, someone will have a problem with it. My current husband had a similar issue, as his wife died of an overdose and she was an addict for years before it happened. Their marriage was dysfunctional way before she ever died, even though he loved her to the very end and always wished for her to get better, she just never did. He told me he felt sadness, but also mixed with a level of relief for not having to wait each day wondering if today would be the day he found her or got a phone call. He was only 7 weeks out when I met him, and we were only planning on being friends and I wanted to help him on this journey. God had other plans and we just knew we were meant for each other. No one knows your heart like you do yourself. And you deserve to do things that give you joy, peace, contentment. Go find it, and don’t worry about what everyone else says or thinks.

[@evelynkaiser8175]

Wow!! This helps so much! 💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@michelefrederick6777]

GOOD VIDEO TY

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@wizardofahhhs759]

My wife died a month ago today and I haven't even taken off my wedding band.. I don't think I'll ever get married again. I don't even want to date any time soon.

[@OneHappyWidow]

That’s understandable…we all grieve at our own pace! #widfam

[@sandracrig378]

I am receiving an error message when I try to join the Facebook Group. It says the page isn’t available right now…

[@OneHappyWidow]

Weird! Here's a direct link: facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@virginiamagtangob5113]

thank you so much for this video, i learn a lot ,❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@lonelyplanet2021]

Great video, thanks 💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@shanecaseyda142]

Hello midnight summer

[@jjw3738]

Leo, i missed the series from 2 years ago. Please send me a link for the dating sites as well as info like pros and cons ?

[@OneHappyWidow]

You can do a search in KZbin for pros and cons one happy widow and it should all come up for you. Thanks for watching!

[@KgomotsoBrooms-hx2fe]

Grief is messy....always sad scared to open doors for new love....i hate this feeling and my boy already says i mist find them another dad😅

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@user-zm3lr5kl7b]

Thank you, your videos are on point. Its been 18 years since my husband passed. My children are grown, i have a male friend of 20 years who just lost his wife 1.5 years ago. I have developed feelings for him should I let him know?

[@OneHappyWidow]

So tough to say, but we all know that we only have a limited time on this earth…so why wait?

[@melindabarefoot4612]

I tend to attract the ones that drink too much, someone who wants to use, and those who have control issues. There should be traffic cones and accident tape wrapped all around me....lol

[@OneHappyWidow]

I don't think it's that you attract them, I just think there are lot of them out there and they prey on us because they must think we are rich and desperate! Just learn to recognize the red flags and steer clear when you meet those! #widfam

[@thebestwillow]

Take gentle, but careful care of yourself. I think Leo is right. These horrible people probably see a vulnerability in you. Maybe they see a vulnerability that is there, in which case maybe it's worth taking a more cautious approach to dating for now. Maybe the vulnerability isn't there and it's just something they imagine. Please try to stop the "I attract them" train of thought. I think that in itself probably creates a certain amount of vulnerability in you. Xxx

[@lindadrewl]

If you ever watch Dr Phil, you will see some sad ladies being taken in for their savings. Be careful who you date & trust. There are some interesting things now that the internet makes possible 😉

[@marilynjohnson8583]

Thank you! This really helped me a lot!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@kathrynleannazuck9305]

Thank you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@ugaladh]

Your "skin hunger" is often called "Touch Deprivation" if people are trying to look up stuff on that. I was single and not dating for 20 years and quickly realized that it wasn't sex I missed, it was being touched by another human.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for that info!

[@louisegraham5863]

OH T U I NEED RD 2 HEAR THIS N WHST U SAID IS TRUE.. UR A DOLL🌞

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@DartanyoValentino-gc9kb]

Hi

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@davidfoster3566]

I'm dating a widow for two months now. She still hasn't told her kids or inlaws. Is this normal for a while?

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, that is normal- the other family members can be quite nasty when they learn that we are dating. So, there’s no need to say anything unless/until we think it’s going to be something more permanent, or something we can’t avoid any longer. It’s a tough subject to bring up!

[@davidfoster3566]

Thank you so much. I believe she is so worth the extra patience needed by her. Sometimes I struggle with feeling like second fiddle. Your comment gives me great hope for a beautiful relationship in the future. It's tough being a secret when I'm so in love with her.

[@nocotton]

And some of those widows choose to deceive and date behind their family's back to get their needs met. That's what I encountered (and I was ok with it if that's how it had to be). But it's a shame that a grown woman is completely controlled by her family in regard to her relationships. Nothing could be more selfish.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry that you encountered someone who may not have been ready for a serious relationship. We are all different and grieve in our own ways! Perhaps it is time to focus ahead, rather than dwell on the past. Praying that you are able to find someone who is perfect for you! #widfam

[@fembot521]

I don’t want to date but don’t want to be alone forever. Maybe a great guy will come and knock on my door 😉😆

[@OneHappyWidow]

You just never know! #widfam

[@risky1]

I dated a Widow for a year. Besides being treated worse than the Family Dog - She called me by the Ex's name on numerous occasions. But one thing she did VERY WELL.....was spend the crap outta my money. Nothing was too expensive. Widows....I sympathize with you and I am sorry for your loss... but don't take your heartache out on somebody that really loves you and wants the best for you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sorry that happened to you. Lots of people can be widowed, and some people were already jerks, and then their spouse died, and they are still jerks. Grief doesn’t turn us into monsters- it sounds like she would have been that type of person regardless of her marital status!

[@risky1]

@@OneHappyWidow Thank you OHW. Means alot. What got to me was the fact that we were very first Playmates. Knew her since she was 5 years old. Went to School with her till 5th Grade. Her Husband and I were friends. And she completlely trashed my World. I'm better now - and thank you for your kind words.

[@florence1395]

As a widow of over 18 months I’m not looking for anyone else. I’m still in love with my husband, truly I cannot bare to even think of anyone else but him! I was with my husband 44 years almost…………….If I may say, I think time is key, time is necessary before dating. Let the dead go cold before you date, show respect. I’m trying not too be judgmental but you’re husband was only 7 weeks in & was dating you? How can you love & be with someone else in 7 weeks? I’m so very sorry but I don’t get your second husband. It’s extremely quick. But I need to say it’s not my business & I have no rights to judge. So forgive me please 🙏 Nevertheless I can’t understand how you go on so very very quickly? I’m doing my best to understand 🙏

[@OneHappyWidow]

Florence, I understand your concern and confusion. Not everyone's marriage is wonderful, even at the time of death. Without getting into too much detail, his marriage had gone sour for a long time before he became widowed. He loved his wife very much, and took care of her until her death, to fulfill his vows that he made when he married her. And he wasn't even looking to date when we met, I simply offered to be his friend to help him through his grief since I knew what he was going through. We fell in love, and it happened quickly, and we decided to go with our feelings, rather than waste time waiting for it to be "appropriate" for the benefit of others.

[@florence1395]

@@OneHappyWidow Yes, it’s up to the individuals & every marriage is different! I totally accept this & was trying not to be judgmental, but you hear 7 weeks & it’s a bit of a shock, nevertheless it’s not my relationship or marriage & I 💯 respect this. I’m extremely pleased you are both happy, not everyone get’s the second time………Sending love to you both, I’m not judging at all. Blessings to you both. 🙏

[@BennieCarlin-ij4si]

What about if nobody wants you and you are a widow

[@OneHappyWidow]

I believe there is someone for everyone…it just takes more time for some and less time for others. For me, it was definitely time consuming for me to search, and I met many people who were NOT for me before I found my current husband. Praying for you!

[@kinsmade--wherecraftsarefa7830]

I'm 49, thin, curvy, and kinda pretty for my age. There aren't a lot of appropriate men in my small town and I often think I won't ever be wanted...but also, I know this is a FEAR and not a reality. I think finding your tribe is a great way to eventually find a man but with a more wholesome focus.

[@vinodmacwan5407]

Good 🙏

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@wesleymills6526]

What about red flags

[@OneHappyWidow]

Always be on the lookout for red flags! #widfam

[@bobbyhousley9877]

7 weeks is kinda rediculous.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Right!? I guess love has no timeline...it IS rediculous! #widfam

[@stormyrollins5155]

Bobby, your spelling is rediculous… again

[@thebestwillow]

If it works for a person, it works for them. *Shrugs*

[@kurtvanluven9351]

I suppose the answer isn't 20+ years? Oops

[@OneHappyWidow]

It’s whatever is right for each person. For some it’s sooner, for others, never.

[@kurtvanluven9351]

@@OneHappyWidow I did not date until our daughter was grown & out of the house.