BEST OF TELLING STORIES (Volume 2)

[@gogogoooooooooo]

Cory dancing to DDR sadly after smashing his switch from winning an unranked fortnite game is the funniest visualization to me ever. I’m surprised Chris wasn’t laughing harder.

[@gaysatan4565]

Pls timestamp

[@cesarcarrillo6792]

​@@gaysatan4565 5:05

[@themilkman6969]

5:25

[@FrabjousBat]

And then it ends up not even being broken making it 1000x funnier

[@RibeyeJohnny]

"I had an AlienWare computer but they suck" "Why, what happened to it?" "I dropped it down the stairs" I love this one every time I hear it. Like it's Dell's fault his computer was susceptible to gravity.

[@Koichi-Kun]

Should’ve built in emergency thrusters when they heard lil’ Adam was gonna own it

[@mlalbaitero]

I never thought of it that way

[@tyronegordon8985]

Dell didn't own Alienware back then

[@Coconut_Prrson]

the fact he unplugged it after a few days to drop it tho

[@spelcheak]

That remind me of those guys throwing macbooks down cement stairwells and then chuckling and all the comments being like “this is why I never buy apple, overpriced garbage” like overpriced sure but wtf he’s lifting it over his head and throwing it down 3 flights of stairs…

[@MrMetalforever5]

The finest storytellers of our generation.

[@aaaaZa100]

It’s cause of all the Irish blood in this group

[@InspectahReese]

I love when Chris tells tales of ol’ in Gaelic

[@kitschking]

preach glabbo

[@mcomeaux3087]

Every bit with Adam and/or David makes me feel like my brain is melting

[@Jonathin]

and/or robot15

[@brandonrancourt1974]

Adam has Beavis and Butt-Head energy

[@analothor]

It's like you loses the will to finish words and just ughh at the end of every word 🤣

[@Coconut_Prrson]

as kids, they would have made the most dangarous idiotic duo.

[@PhantoMace2012]

Agreed. Adam is a 20 something year old With the maturity of a 13 year old And the brain power of a slower than average 4 year old.

[@ExaltedUriel]

Dave's getting fired from McDonald's story always cracks me up, lmao. The gulp sounds are perfect and the way he tells it is like he still is in high school and it happened last week

[@VCRK888]

Lyle… Have you ever had too much nugget in your damn throat…?

[@KoopySandwiches]

Dave is way younger than everyone else in the group, he might as well still be in high school.

[@epicyes3096]

He just actually is mentally a teenager

[@somebodynobody5677]

I was looking for a comment talking about it, cuz Jesus it killed me he’s a wonderful story teller lmao

[@Dan63817]

Timestamp please?

[@Xploshi]

The first video has gotten me through many boring flights and I’m certain this one will be just as comforting

[@aguythatscool]

love your stuff

[@theargawalathing]

I hope you don't break your alienware at the airport stairs

[@Whizkey-ge4vm]

Holy crap lois its the animator Xploshi

[@itreallybelikethatdoe829]

You are scary

[@mittycommitspizzatime92]

You are not scary

[@gaspartiznado6418]

The Lyle Catfish (a.k.a, The Oneyplays Doppelgänger Conspiracy) story was pretty surreal

[@owenschwartz5981]

Definitely not a Reddit story made up by Lyle for attention or anything

[@BlueisNotaWarmColour]

​@@owenschwartz5981 but it wasn't on Reddit. CHECKMATE, goober

[@ThePhrog714]

@@owenschwartz5981😐😐😐

[@05Baine690]

@@owenschwartz5981 probably was. The Chris and Zach one seems legit given that ppl actually do ts

[@boiiwander]

35:37 imagining Chris’s Irish ass mom listening to the crash bandicoot theme for 20 minutes progressively getting more angry is probably the funniest image I can imagine

[@The_Blue_Otaku]

Yeah the mental image is making me laugh and weeze

[@islandboy9381]

Legitimately could make a short psychological horror movie of 20 minutes based on that premise and image

[@Vesryn240]

Way to time stamp the end of the clip you're talking about. Real 400iq play

[@torrvest]

​@@Vesryn240pwned

[@boiiwander]

@@Vesryn240 😭😭😭😭😭 true my b

[@alexbryans8594]

Surely I wont drop all responsibilities to listen to this for 4 hours straight.

[@metalfan846]

I just got off work I'm stoked

[@SangheiliSpecOp]

They can't keep getting away with this

[@AW-wg5zp]

Erm, you know I hate to be that guy… but uh you kinda willll

[@tankgod54]

Surely I'll study for my 7:00 A.M. final.

[@GamerScottYT]

Give us an update in 3 hours and 42 minutes

[@MoonPrincess28]

Adam's Alienware story never fails to crack me up.

[@andoy_]

alienware sucks bro

[@latergator3256]

@@andoy_ what happened to it?

[@andoy_]

@@latergator3256 he dropped it down the stairs

[@deadWu]

@MoonPrincess28 unlike his Alienware... :D

[@DagothUr3427]

“Alienware sucks” from the dude who threw it down the stairs 😂

[@wontonschannel]

I think my 2 favorite little verbal quirks these boys share are Chris describing disgusting things as "evil" and Zach saying "that's nothing" when something isn't funny nor even unfunny

[@nobody_gtk]

I say "that's just nothing" when my gf sends me cringe reels on IG

[@Roach_Dogg_JR]

I personally enjoy “that sucks” when referring to anything Zach dislikes

[@Boneheaded0]

Personally I like it when tomar chants in an anchent dialect whenever he gets mad

[@Jonksy]

''I hate that''

[@mazsterr]

This comment is nothing

[@freshcowbacon1195]

I like how some of their stories are relatable and sorta normal, and then out of no where they start to get more and more deranged and funny as time goes on.

[@barrygaylien]

I like how you're able to watch a 4 hour compilation in 58 seconds

[@freshcowbacon1195]

@@barrygaylien I’ve seen the original lets plays, and I just heard one I remembered. But I’m not teaching you my secret on super sonic video watching.

[@1OTDM]

Hey everybody this guy's a PHONY

[@freshcowbacon1195]

@@1OTDM foiled once again 😔

[@electricsabbath996]

Did you brake your alien ware computer too ?

[@OlGurtyBSTRD]

Chris - Love is scary when you don’t know what to do with it. Also Chris - I miss thine scent and the gams of yore.

[@henrynelson9301]

“Ask her if she’s down for nudes” “I’m not saying that” “Okay fine I’ll do it”

[@Exotic_Saiyan]

Since I’ve been in college the last 3 years, I always download these long compilations so I can listen to them on my long drives back home. Today is my last day of college ever and I downloaded this for some background noise going home. Thanks for getting me through college, boys.

[@morgboat744]

congrats fella

[@Exotic_Saiyan]

@@morgboat744 thanks man!

[@oweeb5909]

Xo vratd

[@Wackothesick]

Oney never fails to play

[@westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006]

Who's gonna tell him? *looks into camera *smirks

[@BalsamicJeebs]

hrmm wait a minute hrmm wait a minute

[@Jackillantern]

Wait a minute say that again but slowly

[@Boneheaded0]

Wait wait wait wait WAIT I need you to recite that ONE MORE TIME. SLOWLY.

[@swag-sn7ze]

either lost footage, didnt want to finish or couldnt play. sorry chris

[@940351579]

"It's not an appointment if i have to wait an hour." Zach speaking hot truth right here.

[@Tyler-mx5kt]

I’ve watched this video twice but I can’t remember where that part is. Can you timestamp it pls lol

[@940351579]

@@Tyler-mx5kt If I ever go through this 4 hour video again, I gotchya lol

[@940351579]

@@Tyler-mx5kt holy crap I actually found it within like 30 seconds. 2:23:00

[@ohhiowen]

Pro tip: Even though the video series is only on volume 2, you can adjust the sound on your device at any point.

[@thengyyy4062]

What the actual fuck how

[@Elemao28]

Wtff this works!??

[@o_ver2.094]

WHAT

[@TheMagus1234]

What?

[@BillyJamesVA]

That is such a dad joke!

[@OPdbx]

the thing Dave talks about in the beginning totally happened to me and I was more afraid than I have ever been in my life. My mom (who rescued me) told me later that I didn't go that far out...

[@BHL69]

Getting caught in a rip is an Australian rite of passage 😂

[@justinbarton717]

that feeling of immediate acceptance of death is so true

[@GreatNegus]

PSA: Apparently if that happens you're supposed to swim parallel to the shore and kinda inch your way in.

[@theargawalathing]

​@@GreatNegustrue, but also which way parallel can depend on the currents as they break from the shoreline. It's definitely easier than swimming back directly

[@Boom2ickle]

Yep I've been there when good old dad took me to a river in Mississippi

[@maguschimp]

I don't know if they talk about this in the comp, but in a Forespoken episode, they talk about a guy who made an infographic picture on why Smiling Friends is neo-puritan propaganda. It's just some guy on 4chan mad that Zach said that porn addiction is bad for your brain lmao.

[@themadthatcher4869]

That's fantastic

[@Unsolver]

dear jesus, please link me that episode for christmas

[@maguschimp]

I think the episode is called something like "The Big Apple in Forespoken".@@Unsolver

[@Unsolver]

@@maguschimp all I could catch them talking about was a guy on Reddit who made an infographic about all the times they talked about porn and why that somehow validates his disgusting shit fetish

[@eightcoins4401]

Its the opposite actually, an infograph on why his fetishes are normal cuz they brought i up inornically.

[@hurricanejaney]

“i seen you slay the rabbit” is one of my favorite stories. i love Adam and his unhinged jaw

[@AirsoftTim92]

"Did I ever tell you I had an Alienware computer? But they suck." "Why? What happened to it?" "I dropped it down the stairs." That could have been a Norm Macdonald joke. 😆

[@samg3634]

The “Dave’s biggest, wettest dip” story will forever be one of my fave oney plays moments

[@ELJohnnyo]

Ever since I heard Zach’s story about the annoying toddler on the plane, I say “All done! All done! All done!” after dropping a deuce 😂

[@Madness200]

And when you're constipated and nothing is coming out you go: "nooooooooooooooo" "nooooooooooooooo" "nooooooooooooooo"

[@taylororourke2525]

I would *totally* watch a Fredrik Knudsen doc about these ‘OneyPlays Doppelgängers’. 😮

[@Tunkkis]

Love me some Freddy Fat-knuts.

[@MeMyself_andAI]

Unscrewing the DVI cable to jump up and down with your new PC is unhinged 😂

[@dreadlordhg360]

I'm watching this while having very painful diarrhea that's irritating my haemorrhoids and it's bringing me warm comfort.

[@Slinkybro]

Feeling the pain rn brother shitting screaming crying bleeding praying wishing for better asshole health while laughing

[@vergilvonkarma]

3:15:27 "i try to let jesus take the wheel and crash into a wall, but jesus actually starts driving" is too good man

[@jessicah8996]

Oh thank god I thought I'd have to listen to my own thoughts as I fell asleep tonight

[@allosaurustime]

Chris’s giant eagle might’ve been Haast’s eagle, an extinct eagle that would have been the largest known, and was depicted as a predator to humans in Māori folk stories

[@sleepynoodlesromi]

That's what i was thinking, at school when i was like 9 we watched a dramatization of a haast eagle killing a lady. They cool af

[@godfatheromar115]

4 hours of story. It’s like a free marvel movie!

[@etholus1000]

Yeh

[@megaultradamn]

Game-vengers

[@GodOfExploding]

Implying Marvel movies have story, let alone 4 hours of em

[@megaultradamn]

@@GodOfExploding 2/5 of em have decent stories

[@goobie23]

i LOVE marvel!!! *smiles really big in bedroom filled with marvel funko pops*

[@youtubeletmeintoyoutube4580]

Can’t believe I never heard the “Chris fat belly hanging off the bed” story before this

[@daxsinger6877]

Can’t wait to watch this 4 times in its entirety over the next few months!

[@tahutoa]

1:09:04 this is the most cognizant Adam's ever been. I didn't recognize him at first 💀

[@NongEyeGong]

the non verbal story honestly makes me love Dave even more. We all need a bro like that.

[@AtomicFlounder42]

Every one of cory stories are just "i was trying to be a deviant in public" or "i was a complete social outcast as a kid"

[@alldayagain]

Fun fact, did you know that Adam is actually in almost every episode of Oney plays since 2018? He just non-verbally jelques off-mic

[@FullMetalVevo]

I hope one day we can see Lyle interact with Dark Lyle. Maybe Dark Chris and Zack could also make an appearance

[@votuhtx]

Lyle lives the closest to a "stolen Truman show nightmare" I've ever heard

[@TylerTheNintendoMaster]

The ocean tried to take Dave, then it rejected him

[@saturniidspectre]

Poseidon spared him so that he may go on to make Friday Night Funkin'

[@MeMyself_andAI]

Ive been having to drive like 6 to 7 hours every day for work lately and these oneyplays videos have been keeping me sane on the aux. Like hanging with the boys on a roadtrip

[@headpen]

it feels like ur hanging out with ur buds.

[@Thecuregalore94]

Jesus Christ that's an obnoxiously long commute. Do you live in barren outback Australia?

[@MeMyself_andAI]

​@@Thecuregalore94 nah i meant i drive 6 to 7 hours everyday during my work day. I have a 1 hour commute tho. Sucks combined with 10 hour shifts 5 days a week. But at least im not Tomar 😔

[@kie_stone]

If you care about usage of data from KZbin while listening to this, someone on SoundCloud rips the audio from the COMPLETEs and one-offs as they are a trucker who likes listening to them in the background. Same titles as the episodes here but have AUDIO ONLY after it.

[@MeMyself_andAI]

@@kie_stone ty!

[@engineerforthefuture8593]

After seeing the thumbnail, I just wanna spoonfeed Zach hearty broth until he feels better.

[@Sypitz]

What kind of broth? Chicken?

[@engineerforthefuture8593]

@@Sypitz whatever kind he needs

[@sunnyd9884]

he needs chicken embryo dandruff and root of burdock with some frog bones ❤

[@theargawalathing]

The primordial broth

[@Silva-avliS]

boiling hot broth

[@youngkhronic2243]

"you can't say that to people."-chris, the person that definitely says the most things you shouldn't say to people

[@BrotherShamus]

I hope we finally get the Green Cumulon lore that they've been teasing for so long now

[@DoodleThis]

Currently stuck in bed with a terrible fever. Thank you for posting this, probably shouldn’t be listening to this since every time I laugh I cough but the video helps me relax

[@Algojuker]

Oneyplays at it still being a livesaver for those in need of actually entertaining and hilarious background noise.

[@alexc6741]

Oney fucking with his mom with the crash bandicoot theme kills me everytime

[@rotatceps95]

I always love these best of stories compilation because I watch them with my brother (who has never watched Oneyplays). While this plays in the background, occasionally ill have to pull up another oneyplays video to explain a reference or something and seeing him laugh at these jokes and stories I’ve heard a hundred times before is always so cool. I know for a fact I’ll get nostalgic for this some day.

[@mirage6844]

I put this on during the night so I fall asleep and have little trolls run around in my head

[@Roach_Dogg_JR]

If you fall asleep listening to this it will subtlety influence your subconscious and make you a water person

[@sv3n514]

Chris finding a way to piss off his mom with the crash bandicoot theme is so fucking funny

[@ThouArtEverywhereAndNowhere]

Dave’s story of McDonald’s never fails to make me smile

[@mjrtaurus2714]

Lyle cackling at "I miss thine scent" is a mood.

[@catbirthdays]

The Crash theme in the car story is still one of the funniest things ive ever heard

[@Madness200]

I love how Dave tells stories.

[@tootsie_]

We need a compilation of all the best Lyle rat stories and the thumbnail needs to be Lyle with his Excalibur (a belt with a bloodied buckle)

[@megaultradamn]

Ratscalibur Rapscallion is his medieval name.

[@Zlarel]

I can picture it perfectly...

[@lando7206]

I would love to see an "Us" type movie where its all the Oney member's fighting off their fake clones (19:41 for context)

[@amoongoos]

These people were pretending to be Gooseworx and other related to Oneyplays persons after episode came out. They're creepy

[@youtubeletmeintoyoutube4580]

3:32:00 Wow I just realized even Cory warns Adam about being a moran sometimes. 🤯

[@sporovid5856]

It really is amazing how Cory seems normal when Adam is around

[@schizoidtravis8116]

Just started an exam and now I have a reason to quit! Thank you, Oneyplays

[@bloody_pupcakes]

I love watching these comps while sleeping

[@nostairwayy]

Zach just explaining the plot to Planes, Trains and Automobiles while Corey was just following it was hilarious

[@oweeb5909]

Back from gooning at 3am with a cold sweat, great vid to fall asleep too

[@philip5513]

Adam having empath levels of care for inanimate objects should be the subject of a study

[@nonessentialanalog]

Funny he does have empathy for inanimate objects but he seems to just be rude to other people?

[@jasonrobinson401]

Not Alienware computers though...

[@WillBrendon]

"What would YOU do?" about wing-manning. The most lucid Adam has ever sounded on the entire show. And he's right.

[@mythcat1273]

Imagining a small child just accepting their fate after being pulled out to sea by a riptide is so funny

[@morgboat744]

i swear to god Lyle’s life is just made up of randomly generated sidequests

[@twistedtick]

Thank you for uploading this right before my shift at work. Now I can listen all night while I work.

[@mitchellyoder324]

Did anyone else notice Chris's dream was basically the fire giant from elden ring

[@Madness200]

😂

[@mitchellyoder324]

My God... Chris is clairvoyant

[@MistaBrandoVA]

I appreciate how in the middle of them telling real stories they insert Zach trying to convince them that as a child he knew a 40 year old man who’d dress as Ash Ketchum and paint his rat yellow to play Pokemon with them

[@mr.pikmin4804]

Thanks for giving me funny stories to fall asleep to. 🛌

[@genericboiforalltheworldsjoy]

(20:13) If these catfishers actually convinced the victim that he was talking to the real Zach Hadel, then either the imposter did a frighteningly dead-on impression or the victim was gullible enough to not question why "Zach" wasn't speaking with his usual distinctive voice.

[@hammo-og]

god I love all of these people, thank you various oneys, guests, and editors. also, i know the fucking alienware story, i know it's coming, and it still makes me wince, laugh, and put my head in my hands every time

[@inspektorblacket2356]

This is the perfect video for me to fall asleep to. God I wish Sleepy Cabin was back.

[@zombiedino184]

It’s been like 7 years since the last podcast. Let it die

[@hard.g0re]

​@@zombiedino184never...

[@zombiedino184]

@@hard.g0re ok keep wishin then…

[@oramulk5901]

We're gonna be roasting chestnuts around the fire with this one

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

Adam has enough rizz to get lesbians to go with him in a 3-way, but not enough braincells to understand that computers are fragile.

[@kie_stone]

He min-maxed life with priorities in mind

[@seansmith6255]

For those confused Rizz: pouring hot Greece on a woman's face

[@yungpm]

@@seansmith6255 I just shoot my hot grease across the room to impress them

[@ijustwatchvideosandleaveco1004]

11:51 “Hey sexy little mamas” made me laugh so hard holy crap

[@daveson1014]

It reminds me of something Johnny bravo would say😂😂😂

[@AHersheyHere]

Chris: I play games on KZbin. Realtor: Is it because you are good at games? Self-aware Chris: …..

[@CorwinWolf]

Adam's way of telling stories gets me every time.

[@bobaorc7839]

"Goodbye everyone I know and love, I'm dead" needs to be on a tombstone. Dave is so fucking funny, the shit he says and how he says it always crack me up

[@bobaorc7839]

0:31

[@douglasdiggins8296]

I love how Zach comes across as the Straight Man of the group then out of nowhere drops the most otherworldly, degenerate tripe that just ends the bit because it can't be topped. Pure bliss.

[@Z3r0_L1f3]

The Rat Crucifixion happened at a Chinese university. The boy caught the rat and proceeded to torture and burn it before crucifying it and putting it up outside his university on show. It sparked animal rights to be brought up at the time

[@yungpm]

Didn’t it eat his pet turtle?

[@quagernag]

Just as I needed a bedtime story from my favourite uncles this drops ❤😪💨

[@MoonMan1267]

"Love is scary when you don't know what to do with it." -Chris O'Neil

[@yurifan3000]

hearing the “fake/catfish chris and zach” story is kind of crazy because i knew the guy who was impersonating chris personally

[@colbubratbub2649]

u gotta be lying, if not, elaborate plzzzzz

[@luvuberrymuch49]

I want to believe you so bad I really do

[@yurifan3000]

@@colbubratbub2649 ok so i ran into some kind of weird “kin” circles when i was like 14-15. i think i knew this guy until i was like 18? i think we only had one one-on-one conversation but i didn’t like him because i thought he was overly edgy and annoying lol. but yeah he said he WAS chris. like irl. you know how people can “kin” (as in otherkin) people? those were called “factkin.” that’s what this guy was. his boyfriend (he called him his fiancé lmao) was the same but with zach. he would draw yaoi of chris and zach and be like “me and my fiancé” it was kinda funny lol. years before he started saying he was chris he was doing the same thing but with vinny from vinesauce. im also pretty sure he was weirdly into school shooters.

[@kukumatz4502]

If true, spill deets

[@Kyryyn_Lyyh]

I am yurifan3000 and I will tell you the story if you PayPal me 6 doge coins

[@xxrad_chadxx6934]

46:06 fucking love when Chris says “tomar? He’s not Mexican”

[@jerrysmith8814]

Lyle's doppelganger stories are so fucking good

[@G-mg8hn]

Oh my god. I think I encountered that Lyle catfish way back. Back when I was a dumb child that was trying to add my favorite YT creators on Facebook. I'm pretty sure I drew a drawing of Lyle for him and he made a promise that he would put it as his YT banner. I asked him every day for like a week when he would do it and he was like "ah ha yeah I'll put it up soon". After the fact I thought he was some roleplay account or something, no idea it went this deep :o

[@Tanker20077]

These story’s were actually good and not spastic fever dreams, thanks Chris.

[@Addmanzan]

I get my life advice from 4 hours of OneyPlays

[@TeslaCharge1852]

Leave it up to Zach to explain the entire plot of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles in such a way that it seemed like a believable story at first

[@7updan]

Those giant eagles are real. Haast Eagle from New Zealand. Extinct now though :(

[@admiralAlfonso9001]

I am guggling with excitement for these tales of mischief and magic

[@admiralAlfonso9001]

1:07:01

[@admiralAlfonso9001]

1:32:16

[@admiralAlfonso9001]

28:39

[@cshimp10]

Here's a series of events that happened to me once. >I used to be a Mod on a Gmod server [don't judge, I was young once.] >I caught a kid blatantly using cheats, so I banned him [after grabbing plenty of video evidence/screenshots] >After his ban, he made a report to uplift the ban; "I did nothing wrong, he's lying about me." >Since I had posted the video evidence to my personal KZbin account, he'd commeted from HIS own account on the video. So now I had access to his channel, and all the videos showing off his cheats/hacks. >I forward this info to the report, stating 'Look at all his videos, he's a blatant cheater.' >I took the chance, and downloaded several of his own videos, because as soon as I brought it up I thought to myself 'He's definitely going to delete these immediately.' To no ones surprise; he did. >"Here's the video[s] he deleted, I took the chance to download it knowing he'd delete [the video]." >Little hacker stated; "He's impersonating me and making me look bad." >The main Admin of the entire server/community simply replied, "No.", to his appeal. I don't think I could've written a better moment in my life if I tried.

[@JordanFinlay-x1g]

I listen to these at work

[@derekspecht6323]

4 hours of mind numbing entertainment. I enjoy.

[@LiteralVampirePotbellyGoblin]

Oh nice, more Oneyplays to squee/XD to

[@baronvonbeandip]

Adam sounds like Lil Xan's music makes my brain feel.

[@Made_In_Heaven88]

So Big Penny basically? lol

[@SUNDOWNER88]

I have consumed at least 40h of oneyplays content. this fits my mental collection well

[@rw3404]

Me as a kid: "Tell me a bedtime story, mom." Me, 20+ years later: "Tell me a bedtime story, Oney."

[@TheBigsby111]

“Wait is this real? What is it called” “Rat drives car”

[@Mikabii]

The long awaited sequel. I can finally return to my slumber for anothe millennium.