Online Dating - Why I Will Never Do It Again!

[@MG-ot2yr]

You sound a lot like me, really independent, secure with yourself, don't need anyone to complete yourself, etc. I'm 61, widowed at age 36, and tried the online dating thing. Hated it, the fake stuff, and felt like a job interview with some meet ups! But I'm content by myself, and if someone comes along that I meet the old fashioned way, great, if not then that's fine too.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for commenting and sharing here, yes, I agree with you - all the best! Hugs!

[@LukeWarmwater-yb5lx]

I'm a male, 66 years old, have never been on a dating site, i prefer the old school way, just say hi first and see what happens after that.

[@SirenaSpades]

It really is best to meet in person.

[@Sassysouthrnbelle]

@@SirenaSpadesAgree!

[@censoredeveryday3320]

In western countries, online dating is a miserable experience.

[@halstonandharleys]

Yes!

[@kevinhornbuckle]

What you say here makes a lot of sense. The digital age is beating the life out of us. I think I am ruined by having had exciting romances when I was young. I am 62 now, and realize that moving beyond child-bearing years necessarily means that loving become centered more around friendship and loyalty rather than raw attraction. I have some health limitations which make me not eligible for relationships (not sexual; I am plenty capable in that regard). But throwing your lives together at a later age puts too much at risk. We need stability and security after middle age. You seem like a kind and intelligent woman. You probably will encounter, in the real world, a good man to date.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for commenting and sharing here! I agree completely on your statement of the digital age beating the life out of us. Some days I feel like I am in a zombie apocalypse with everyone around me on their cell phones and totally oblivious to anyone/anything around them. So sad!! I wish you the best of luck - let's stay positive to the real deal in the real world!

[@collettelennonmint5247]

💯

[@Cassieroll]

@@halstonandharleys I've had a lot of medical appointments lately which also involved traveling. A lot of people watching these last few months. I noticed everyone waiting in waiting rooms or in restaurants were ALL on their phones and some while dining WITH SOMEONE ELSE! It's creepy. Zombies everywhere.

[@idboo1234]

I think dating unfortunately has become a huge shit show for both genders. Good luck.

[@runaisri]

i stopped online dating at 26 years old. Online dating started to blow up while I was in highschool. I'm just so jaded now. I'm 32 now and I haven't been in a relationship since, haven't even had sex since then. And I've been alone for so long that I've grown comfortable being alone and enjoying spending my time with my family and friends, and immersing myself into my hobbies. It does get lonely sometimes, especially at night. But relationships, especially those started from dating apps, all ended really badly and ended up just scarring me and inflicting lasting emotional trauma. I want the arranged marriages to make a comeback. I feel like when your parents have input, and you know the other person's family, it humanizes them and you're less likely to ghost or cheat on your significant other

[@susandoerr3896]

try meet up groups in your area of interest. online.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for sharing and commenting here. So unfortunate that it seems people are jaded at a much younger age these days. I wish you all the best and hugs!!!

[@valerievaltesse]

​@@susandoerr3896That works for men, but not women because 80 percent of the meetup groups participants are women.

[@thepragmatist]

I like that you call them "meet & greets" because that's exactly what they are. First time meeting from an app is not a date, in my opinion.

[@texasgoddess323]

I took the time to create a nice, clear profile of who I was and what I was looking for, but once I started talking to these guys who messaged me, it was like two ships passing in the night! Like nothing really in common, different values, etc.! I couldn’t figure out what was going wrong. But when I would ask if the read my profile, it was mostly always, “No”. Well, no wonder we weren’t vibing!!! They just saw my pics and reached out. For me, this is SO SHALLOW and a waste of time! If they had read my profile, they probably would’ve realized that we weren’t a match. The fact that they didn’t look to see who I was as a person, showed me how incompatible we really were! No more online dating for me.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for commenting and sharing - yes, that is what I ran into as well. What I find interesting is that back when we met people face-to-face, they didn't read a profile either, only saw our face/body, etc. - but we actually talked. And sometimes there was a lot said in that first interaction!

[@kevinhornbuckle]

@@texasgoddess323 Laziness is so unattractive!

[@datther]

Men are about looks first. If you met organically, they wouldn’t have read your profile. So you’re eliminating lots of men that way. Here’s something you may not understand. While a halfway attractive woman gets a hundred messages from men, and can then pick and choose, a man must send loads of messages to get a single response. A man must cast a wide net to meet one woman, while a woman has multiple choices right away.

[@texasgoddess323]

@@halstonandharleys Wendy, such a good point! I’m 54 and men have always approached because of what they saw. But online you don’t get to see his mannerisms, see him approach, speak, etc. so it is a total cold call.😆

[@valerievaltesse]

Dating Apps were created by and for men, and they are visual creatures. Photos catch a man's interest and if you accept 100% of date requests then maybe you'd find 2 or 3 guys who are compatible for a relationship. Sadly it takes FOREVER to date this way, it wastes everybody's time. In the old days it was quicker because the initial approach took the place of what is today 2 weeks of messaging and a 1st Date.

[@thepragmatist]

I love when people meet organically. I know others will disagree, but for me I think it's the best way.

[@1cruiselvr656]

I met my husband online accidentally in 1994. The accidental part is a long story. Anyway, it’s funny bc he asked me to send a picture of myself. Back then there was no other way to “see” what a person looked like. The first thing he said to me when we met for the first time was wow, you actually look like your picture. I replied why wouldn’t I? His response seemed strange to me. Then he told me the story of a woman who he met online that sent a picture of her gf as herself. When he went to the chosen meet up location, he thought he was stood up bc no one was there that looked like the picture. When the “real” woman identified herself, he was shocked. She couldn’t understand why he was upset and didn’t want to continue with the “date”. He said the same thing, if a person can start off with a big lie, they can’t be trusted. It worked out for us, we married a few years later and we’ve been together for 30 years. If he passes before me, I’ll spend the rest of my days single bc I’m too old for the nonsense that goes on in the dating world. I’ll be content with my 2 dogs and cat. ❤

[@ladybird761]

Isn't it just morbid that the more people on this planet the harder to find a partner?

[@leisure057blank3]

Congratulations on your new retirement! And Happy Holidays

[@halstonandharleys]

Thanks! I wish you Happy Holidays as well!

[@cindycareme]

Amen Wendy!!! I have had the same problems with any attempt to online date, they use a picture from when they were 30...but they are 55 and yes, If they are going to start off by lying... wth are they going to lie about later?? NOT taking the chance

[@platinum-n7u]

i went on line dating years ago. The interactions were so cold it was almost like an interview asking personal questions that i did not want to disclose about myself so soon. i also felt if i said the wrong thing i would be dismissed.

[@joanofarcxxi]

My last 4 relationships were with people that I met online, 3 of them long distance. But it's really tricky because you really don't know much about the person. One turned into 12 years and a child. Unfortunately, that person was hiding a lot from me. When I found out, it was too late. I have not been on a date since I broke up with him. I have met 2 guys and we talked for a while but it was not what I wanted. So I decided to be celibate and single. I am very independent and self confident, also don't need any man to complete me. I enjoy my own company. It's not that I don't talk to men, I do. Friendship is good, but no one so far has sparked any further interest for me. I have high standards, especially for these current times.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for sharing and so good for you that you are independent, self confident and enjoy your own company. That is me too. It is harder for some people, I wish there were some easy way to help them!

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

One reason that I don’t online date right now is the increase in Ghosting…… I can’t tell you how many times that oh I got dressed up for a greet and meet, as you say, at a coffee shop or bar at Cetera, and the guy did not show up and when I tried to text him and call him he did not answer……

[@halstonandharleys]

Yes, agreed! Thank you for commenting!!

[@1cruiselvr656]

Probably a scammer. So many fake profiles that are really people out of the country looking to take advantage of a lonely person.

[@komodolife]

A lot of the same guys are on many sites. And some of them are married or in committed relationships. They like to feel it out and then ghost when action is required.

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

@ Thanks for your reply…… I’m learning

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

@ Either a scam or they’re afraid of me……

[@lindsandkev]

No it is a nightmare, lots of creeps on plenty of fish 😢

[@halstonandharleys]

True that!

[@KwertyKeys]

Plenty Of Creeps 😂

[@censoredeveryday3320]

Now you know how it feels for most men on dating sites. Multiply your experience times 100 and that's what most of us go through.

[@halstonandharleys]

As I said, it goes both ways, I am sure women would say the exact same thing you just said, multiply by 100!

[@LisaP-v4e]

I found the online dating depressing so I stopped. I'm 61 and old school, if I meet someone to hang around with, great! But if I don't, I'll be OK with that too.

[@stevenmiller1031]

Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas!

[@JaneTaber-u3e]

How are you doing Steven.

[@evelynbarry5046]

Remember the days when people used to put ads in the Personals in the local papers? That was fun 😄You had to go to church or clubs or work to meet partners. Also the park where guys would go with their Mustancars or what ever car they had and the girls would go for 'walks' . Those were the days !

[@halstonandharleys]

Yes! Slower pace of life was what made it better, more in the moment!!

[@evelynbarry5046]

@halstonandharleys miss those days!

[@thepragmatist]

Congratulations on your retirement! That's amazing.

[@shinenwga7784]

Old school principles, morals and accountability are almost nonexistent. Good luck in scoping out the younger crowd... They stand or sit next to one another texting. I'm 59 and wish so much people would return to the normalcy of the late 70's/80's/90's. Heck, even the earlier 2000's were a blast. EVERYTHING seemed to change during the ''Flue season'' People are so deceptive and self centered with the online dating. Sooooo much drama and a damaged/jaded past. This topic has been blazing on various channels lately. Perhaps like minded folks can start a KZbin dating app. I would share a dinner date with you just based on your personality. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[@susannicole5176]

Honesty, Integrity, and Truth. I love that. That says a lot about you. Thanks for sharing some great stuff . Love your comment about "Bullshit meter". LOL

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you so much! Trying to keep it real - only way I know!! Hugs!!

[@Tracy-ks1vk]

I was married for 10 years and I have been divorced for 11. Im 45. I have never and will never online date. I am not against it, It’s just not for me. Would love to meet someone the “old fashioned way” is that even a thing anymore lol 😂🤔🤦🏻‍♀️

[@halstonandharleys]

I understand that! Old fashioned, what a concept, right? Bring it back I say!!!

[@nicolascotteire]

I’ve had good ones and bad ones. The good ones were all people I matched with from my locality. That way their stories were easily verified. I found matching with people from outside my location resulted in a lot of lying I.e married or dodgy living situations. Moral of the story? It’s best the old fashioned way of saying someone from your own locality with common acquaintances or at least verifiable. Anything else just seems to tempt people to lie for short term gain. Having said that unless I was online I probably wouldn’t have met the good ones either. Once you’re in your forties with kids and don’t go out much to pubs or clubs it’s really hard to find those opportunities

[@sarahjones-jf4pr]

Never have done on-line dating never will.

[@halstonandharleys]

Good for you!!!

[@kelleytatman6977]

Merry Christmas Eve!! I've met dates from a couple of different sites--Match and some lesser known ones. But haven't done so since 2007. The first one I met that way turned into a 2-yr relationship that was good, but not compatible enough to last. Another I had short relationship for only a few months. I don't miss either of them anymore. Had some other "meet and greets" as you term them and both of us didn't really like each other much or spent enough time (or "waste time" probly more accurate) to get to know each other anyway. I think that finding ppl this way makes it so easy to move on from whoever you meet to search for another person who might be better. I'm glad I never met one who was scary though TBH. The fakeness of ppl who put profiles up is disappointing, but at least with age you get life experience, so you know that's what you face when you try to meet the "man behind the profile". I'm very discerning by nature and can read ppl real well....so I would be willing to try dating that way again. Sure is easy to say that as I haven't yet signed up for another of those sites! LOL! 😉😊😀

[@censoredeveryday3320]

My divorce was a few years back in my early 40s. Going to Thailand to try my look with south east Asians as I'm also semi-retired and work when I want online. Also just to correct you, as a man, I do not want a "project" to fix. I want simple and the least amount of drama possible.

[@halstonandharleys]

Good luck to you and thank you for sharing!

[@ButtercupG76]

I met a man on an online dating site for Christian’s. I live in Texas and he was in Oklahoma. He moved to Missouri for his job. Subsequently, this was a long distance relationship that fell apart. I was unable to move from Texas to be with him. I will never go online again.

[@SirenaSpades]

Did you actually meet this person (in person)? Otherwise you weren't dating. Online long distance relationships are completely false, the person could me a man or a woman and could be a scammer in Nigeria. Avoid at all costs. Only date locally in person.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for sharing!

[@halstonandharleys]

100% agree!

[@ButtercupG76]

@@SirenaSpades I met him three times. He came to Texas. I visited him after he moved to Michigan. He had major control issues. If I did not answer my phone right away, he would text me What are you doing? I am embarrassed that I wasted my time. My Mother and Brothers met him and did not like him.

[@Belluser-we1uc5cb2l]

I met my lead husband in the nineties.Through friends at a new year's eve party. I am a widow now. I haven't dated in 13 years. Don't miss it. My life is peaceful and no drama. Stay safe out there. A lot of crazies on the internet. Criminals and married people and substance abusers on these apps. Girl, get a dog 🐕 I have 2 😅

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for commenting. I have two cats. Merry Christmas!

[@truthboomertruthbomber5125]

I also met my late wife at a New Year’s Eve party but mid 70s 🥳

[@thepragmatist]

This is a great, common sense video. Thank you.

[@CydPiper]

Hey Wendy, OMG GF let me tell ya. I'm 66yo and I feel although I haven't done a lot of online dating, it has become a sh*t show of deception not speaking for the bitter ones set in their ways with delulu attitudes about idea mates. My most recent experience I met a very nice, generous, and highly educated bad boy that is also a raging alcoholic and womanizer. I could never imagine that this crap goes on at our age. I'm just at that point where its a matter of throwing in the towel and just stay happy being alone or do I learn to accept the lesser of two evils be/c it seems like it really does matter at this age. They all have problems or they bitch and complain about the evil ex or missing the deceased love of their lives. Men at my age want hunting, camping, fishing, or sports buddy features of the perfect woman whereas I personally want adventure, fun, and excitement of checking out new things. Lets not mention that after dinner and a few cocktails ladies should assume to return the offer in other ways LOL its like WTF? you are absolutely correct about the physical feature deception LOL. I'm not ready to give up be/c I cannot offer up other ways of meeting potentially decent men but I'll keep trying for whatever it is worth and learn not to have expectations or take too much for granted. I just make sure it is on their dime to waste my time and more times than not, end up making the best of it and moving on anyway. Lots of love always 💕🌹☕

[@halstonandharleys]

Hello girl! Thank you for sharing and commenting in our community! I also think the men deal with a lot of crazy nonsense from women as well. As I said in the video, we all have baggage once we get older, it is inevitable. But, leave it at the train station, will ya? Ha-ha! I wish us all the best in 2025 and beyond with meeting the 'one' - lots of love and Merry Christmas!!!

[@annathemaanderson4448]

Yeah, of course you make sure it's on his dime. Hard pass on you!

[@datther]

You make sure he pays. I’m shocked. Why would a man take a stranger for a free meal? Why waste money? Better to have a date where money is not an issue. If i get to a third date, the likelihood of not being dropped/ ghosted is better, at that point i will invest money. Most first dates do not result in second ones, why waste money on them

[@evelynbarry5046]

Happy Christmas Wendy! Have a wonderful 2025!

[@halstonandharleys]

Merry Christmas, same to you!

[@Cassieroll]

Congratulations on retiring!!!!

[@barbara6840]

I'm 48. In a nutshell the me. Are not well. They know they have to raise their manipulation game as woman with the little freedoms we have left are calling them out on their BS. So they are preying on the weak or paying for out of their league. Hate to break it to you, but finding a good human is rare.

[@halstonandharleys]

Thank you for commenting!

[@Vwgls]

Gen x used to be cool. You got married, sold out to the man, bought a house, kids, divorced ==== your a mess. ❤ nj gen x❤

[@halstonandharleys]

Gen X is still cool in my opinion!!

[@Vwgls]

@halstonandharleys I definitely agree, with regional limitations.... lol

[@LawrenceMorgan-u5y]

Lady you are still chasing Chad at 60 when you had your entire life to lock down a man in your youth but you chose to ride the 🐔 carousel 🎠

[@suebotchie4167]

Uh-o, Larry is still jealous, because he's no cHad 😂 , not in high school, and not now either.

[@lizzysbeautyshowetc.6895]

N I am with you Wendy I will never ever go to a dating site I have met psychos and the ones I've gotten into relationships I found out later they will Wack a doodles so no I will never find anyone on a dating site if God wants to send me someone let him but no more me looking edit done with it

[@dregeminin1]

I tried eharmony back in the day but never actually went on a date. I’d prefer to meet someone organically but I don’t get out much. I used to love going to concerts, sporting events and festivals. But going out nowadays has become so expensive. I suppose that’s life in the big city.

[@halstonandharleys]

It’s so expensive these days, it’s not easy to meet someone!