Reading Your DEPRAVED Secrets

[@hanjisungisHaPpYness]

I love how he sprinkles "what do i know" 🤷‍♀️ at the end of every piece of advice just in case it ruins their life 💀

[@Urlocalblondie23]

It asked me to rate thos comment 😭

[@thandinh2447]

ok

[@danieladewumiodewenwa5575]

Thumps up

[@danieladewumiodewenwa5575]

Thumbs up

[@zarakhan_pdf]

He's got that Pakistani People gene maybe 💀💀 cus they do that a LOT fr

[@ada5392]

the person who was talking about befriending outcast has to be a sociopath bc how tf do you spend years doing that shit and not feeling any remorse

[@lizziefg10]

My already existing trust issues: 📈

[@CraosRiv]

A psychopath more likely - I looked up the difference between them just so I could be sure myself. Sociopaths generally tell you straight out that they don't care one whit about you or your feelings. Psychopaths are the ones who pretend to care and like to toy with others and kinda hide their actual self. Sociopaths don't hide their true selves, they actually like letting people know from the get-go.

[@zynpkrdg]

Yeah, literally psychopath behaviour. Like, I can't believe that's what might be going on in someone's head when they are being a bully.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

She is also mésirable to the extreme. Imagine spending your time and energy just to stab vulnerable people in the back! Imagine how she would behave if she was near children or if she worked as a nurse!

[@UtopiaMotley]

Definitely a sociopath lmao. Like that requires being able to dehumanize people and disregard their emotions in order to entertain themselves for momentary gratification of gossip. Especially to cultivate relationships fo YEARS just to use someone as a means to an end. It's almost hilarious how sociopathic it is. Like Jesus, that's someone that will never truly be loved or cared about; who will inevitably lead a worthless and meaningless existence because of how irredeemably remorseless and shallow they are. Amazing.

[@j_the_kid]

If a 32 year old has the same humor, interests and view on the world as an 18 year old you're not dealing with a mature 18 year old but with an immature 32 year old.

[@jijitters]

Exactly.

[@eternyti]

they don't have to share any of those things in common to date though. it could be any number of reasons, both good and bad ones. although the age gap is icky, I think the real issue is the fact that the OP is 18. dating anyone significantly older at the *bare minimum age of consent* (at least in most states in America) inevitably leaves a very sour taste and raised lots of red flags. a large age gap will always be a bit sus, it's just how it is, but at the very least that 32 year old can wait until the 18 year old is older. 18 and 32 year olds dating looks much worse than like, 25 and 39. will still raise eyebrows but won't look nearly as bad overall.

[@jijitters]

@eternyti If a 32yo has nothing in common with an 18yo but wants to date them anyway that means they're basing it on sexual attraction which just makes the 32yo a predator, so. You're not helping here.

[@eternyti]

@@jijitters 18 year olds are legal adults. dating / being attracted to one does not immediately make someone a predator, no matter the age gap. is it definitely something predators do and intentionally seek out? absolutely. but in and of itself, legally, there is no wrongdoing and the mere act of being attracted to and/or dating an 18 year old is not inherently predatory, no matter how many icky feelings it might give you and me. throwing the term 'predator' around so casually is what is actually harmful here.

[@jijitters]

@eternyti Nah 18yos are kids, the arbitrary law saying they can be independent at that point is meaningless. They're kids. A 32yo pursuing someone who is that young and looks it is indeed a predator. If you disagree I don't respect you as a person so please don't reply further, I do not want to hear from you.

[@topcat2085]

Dylan, please know, not all of us troublemakers are this unhinged

[@onlytwobraincellsleft9980]

we aren't?

[@MSinger4472]

lies

[@kazzle_dazzle6]

right? i'm watching this and i'm in shock of the things these people are doing...like married men kink? really, get help.

[@kaylynlewis]

exactly😭 like my darkest secret doesnt even come close to these things😭😭

[@elisabethcuningham3526]

Right?! Just know some of us are normal 😭😂🤣

[@bookishcatlover02]

I'm Muslim (not Middle Eastern, I'm Pakistani) and I was also quite surprised by the maher one! I think it's important to note, that the person asking for the advice was using the term "culture" because maybe culturally for Middle Eastern people that's how maher works, but maher is an Islamic concept and Islamically it actually works differently. Firstly, it can be *any* amount of the wife-to-be asks for. It doesn't have to be £20K-£100K literally, if the wife-to-be asks for a £2 gold coin necklace it can be that😭And Islamically, the wife-to-be's maher is not an indication of how much she values herself, meaning lower maher does not mean the woman doesn't value herself. Actually, in Islam we have a belief that smaller mahers receive bigger blessings from Allah (God)- but that being said, a woman can ask for any amount she wants whether it be £1 or £100K lol. A woman could ask for £1K maher, it doesn't mean that she doesn't see herself as worthy, but the blessings of God more valuable than money perhaps. A maher is a Muslim woman's Islamic right and it shouldn't be decided by the groom, the groom's parents, the wife's parents- but the wife herself. Parents and the groom could make suggestions and negotiate but ultimately it's the decision of the wife-to-be. But it is encouraged for her to be reasonable to her future husband and not ask him for an excessive amount that would put him under stress and pressure. But if that woman who asked you for advice wants a £20K+ amount, and is not willing to budge then fair enough, it's her right to want that much but maybe she's asking for it from the wrong guy.

[@nalfawair]

beautifully put! Maher is an Islamic right for the wife and, realistically, should be based upon what the husband-to-be can afford.

[@afrina3781]

thank you for this as I am a muslim myself!

[@cheyennetremolada7433]

To be fair, 20k is what Google said when Dylan looked it up, not what OP said she asked. In fact, she didn’t state the price, just said that she was lenient on him. In all fairness it sounds more like he just doesn’t accept the concept of the😢Maher and simply doesn’t want to pay her. But she didn’t say the whole story so we can’t really know

[@lulicotta]

​@@cheyennetremolada7433 op said the bit about the 20k to 100k range

[@cheyennetremolada7433]

@@lulicotta oh! You’re right! I’m sorry, yeah that seems like a lot to ask in all fairness

[@millie3milk808]

I just know that Dylan is using these horrible secrets as an escape from recording the final after movie.

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

yet somehow those fictional movies give him more rage than these (supposedly) real scenarios ✋️😭

[@fannihorvath9354]

its so funny that he’d rather read these than watch after

[@roxy4325]

I REALLY wish he'd do the final after live with us! It would be SUCH a Troublemaker moment!

[@katherine5019]

And writing his book

[@DaphneSublime]

IT'S THE FINAL ONE????? Finally oh my fking god 🙏🙏🙏

[@winddruid9789]

The first girl needs a lot of therapy. For the life of me, I can't understand why someone would enjoy doing something behind their partner's back.

[@princesstoni8116]

And so proud and happily do it

[@Pachitaro]

Bc it's a fake story on reddit 😂

[@bbhavii]

I would recommend looking into the ntr genre of manga and anime, it entirely blew my mind when I discovered it was a thing

[@captaincosmic8153]

Even if it's a fake story, people really do think and act that way. Source: my ex boyfriend who liked to cheat a lot

[@R2S0725]

@@Pachitarowe don’t know if it’s fake or not. there are people out there who do enjoy cheating or who do enjoy going after only married men. it’s unfortunate that these stories are very possibly true.

[@MichelleAlina91]

The first girl should break up with her bf but not tell him. There is no need to destroy him. Just leave him and let him move on

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Yeah before she gives an STD or fool hom to raise another man's kid.

[@tonystonem9614]

Yh I agree , the truth will shatter him

[@MichelleAlina91]

@@tonystonem9614 most people do it to clear their consciousness and then break up and move on but the one who got cheated on is a mess and it will break smth in them. In my opinion it only makes sense if you wanna continue being with that person. Then you should come clean and work on getting their trust back somehow if they wanna give you another chance.

[@shiny_teddiursa]

@@SheldonRinghim coming out stronger is less likely than his self-confidence being completely shattered for maybe the rest of his life

[@isabellasuell3305]

​@@SheldonRingI think someone ELSE should tell him and give him the satisfaction of leaving the a**hole partner.

[@katiewren1507]

It always breaks my heart when I hear about 18yos dating much older people. You know it will end in disaster but there is literally nothing you can do.

[@Arvak]

For sure. Those relationships are never healthy, because a 32 year old has literally no good reason to be dating someone under 21

[@imannatasha3302]

Yeah, unfortunately for most of them they simply wont see the problem until the get around 20 to 25, and will be in denial until they realise that when they are that age, they themselves want nothing to do with people under 20

[@tridocao143]

ok

[@kieramichele5740]

canon event

[@kaylynlewis]

i always used to be of the opinion that its "their choice" then i dated a 26 year old when i was 18. its a small age gap compared to a lot, but that relationship taught me that there has to be something wrong theres a reason a 26 year old or a 32 year old in this case, cant find anyone their own age to date. either they arent where they should be in life, either with maturity or financially, or they prey on younger people. i'd love to say if its the first then you can work through it and grow together, but i mean, i was finishing school and going out to job interviews and such while he was still sitting at home unemployed the entire year and a half of our relationship. make it make sense?

[@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339]

It will never be not funny how this channel’s fans are the most wholesome, accepting, heartwarming people with the deepest, messiest, most disturbing secrets at the same time 😂😂

[@LooneyTunesBackInActionWasGood]

Okay, the woman who always wants to cheat and the woman who becomes friends with the outcasts just to gossip about them are objectively bad people. Every time he reads these secrets, my faith in humanity sinks to an all-time low. Idk how these comment sections aren't filled with monsters, cuz there are some dark, dark characters in this fanbase according to these confessions.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

That's why they're accepting. Hard to have standards when you're a POS

[@LooneyTunesBackInActionWasGood]

@@carolinaa.4407 I really, really hope so. But I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was all true. You'd be surprised what people are willing to admit if they know nobody will know who they are

[@zynpkrdg]

​@@LooneyTunesBackInActionWasGood i think most of us are pretty normal, but yeah those are disgusting. I think many, MANY people on the internet are really vile, I also think that those are a small percentage of Dylan's viewers. Other fandoms probably have worse people in them. Dylan is pretty sane so I think that's probably why. I would never ever call myself a part of a "fandom" because of how disgusting everyone could be before Troublemakers, and that's still the only one I accept.

[@franceschioma6385]

Him posting that feet stuff with the clip was disrespectful towards feet sensitive people

[@lmaomaidah]

The Maher thing is misinformation. Yes it is obligatory for the husband to pay his wife some amount after divorce, but if the husband can’t afford it and the wife’s being inconsiderate of his position then that’s the wife’s fault. I’ve seen women ask for freaking cats in Maher lol, it doesn’t JUST have to be money. Though the latter is the preferred option, but again it’s the wife’s choice while being mindful of her husband’s financial state.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Mahr has to be paid before the wedding not after the divorce

[@fariari1384]

Yeah it can be clothes too. The Mahr has to much the guys earning/ economic status

[@curlybrows6039]

True and the girl can reject it if she wants to. Like if she doesn't want something from her husband she can decline.

[@LevePalestinaKrossaSionismen]

​@@curlybrows6039That's what I did. In our culture grooms will buy a bit of gold and Maher, but my husband gave me a bigger Talbeesa (gold set) instead. We wanted to marry without conditions because we love each other unconditionally! I think focusing on an exuberantly high amount deters from the meaning of marriage in Islam.

[@hebaelhariry]

​@radhiadeedou8286 actually (at least in Egypt) it's divided into percentage before the wedding and the rest of it is the Moakhar in case of divorce

[@lenaduggan4222]

every week he’s getting closer and closer to posting on monday

[@Paradigm7977]

Not sure what you mean. When Dylan posts it means its monday.

[@coconoisette_]

it is monday..

[@AzuriSully]

@@coconoisette_it’s Tuesday…

[@CaspiDrako]

​@AzuriSully no, it's Monday

[@lenaduggan4222]

@@coconoisette_ it’s a tuesday where i’m at

[@saratarek8316]

As a muslim woman, i confirm that maher is definitely not a testament to your or your family’s social status/worth, its a symbolic gesture that can come in forms other than money, and is decided eventually by the woman, and is used for her wedding preparations and marriage needs, i think she should read more about what maher is to shift her view on it and that would help her decide to move forward with the marriage, if you love him and see him as your future husband then lowering your maher and just sharing your wedding expenses is the way to go i believe, good luck!!

[@MizMima]

Exactly! I thought it was so weird that she asked for so much while pretending to be rich already! Also, he’s not from the same culture as her, it’s not fair that she’d ask him that much. I completely understand why he’s weirded out by it.

[@BrianBanfield]

Regardless, it's very sexist and views women as bartering items. Islams sexist views on women are not ok in any culture. Selfish men who silenced the divine voice of women wrote those laws so girls and women could be controlled.. Not only am I not going to abide by your man controlled culture I will happily dispute it. Women deserve better and the divine feminine will rise! Islamic men will murder and torture women into submission and this Maher thing is just one remnant of it.

[@minisn3066]

She did say she’s from a family that’s wealthier than his family and I’m starting to think maybe her family is wealthier than all of ours 😂 Maybe the way she perceives mahar is specifically due to her socioeconomic background because this is def rich people bs.

[@Thurmanation2011s]

Girl sounds like an entitled brat. Probably because she comes from a rich family.

[@user-mAfuNqrSe020x]

​@@minisn3066fr. Im not educated on this topic but, from my muslim friends weddings, they didnt have a big amount of maher at all. One of my friend just asked for a quran and a set attire and mat for praying. That's all. The girl is too much.

[@jaehyunsbread23]

if the timing was right, i think that the "crush of 8+ years" was my entry. update: i eventually was in a half-relationship with that guy and i broke it off because my views changed and it was always me initiating stuff. now i am living with my new boyfriend and have such a communicative, healthy relationship WHERE HE ACTUALLY PUTS IN THE EFFORT!

[@felicitywantsacookie]

omg slay

[@manahilahmed39]

Bump

[@neussd8752]

that's great! I think liking someone for that long makes you romantizise them and when they don't put in the effort you expect, it comes as a surprise. It's so great your new bf actually cares :)

[@yadsewnde]

What’s a half relationship? - wait nvm context clues got me assuming its you putting in the effort and them kinda just being there. Probably.

[@jj_lanae1307]

Periodt ❤

[@Solofhreaper]

As a muslim, I have to say that Mahar amount is insane. When I got married I gave my wife about ~$2000 in Mahar. I would guess most modern muslim weddings don't have that amount.

[@bsgpink]

I think because her family is rich she is used to hearing of Mehr amounts being that high. In my area, it's just a token within what the groom can actually afford.

[@LevePalestinaKrossaSionismen]

I'm Middle Eastern raised in the US and I didn't ask for any conditions to marry my Algerian husband. He wanted to get me Talbeesa, my husband was able to give me $7,000 in gold to wear for my wedding, but I didn't ask for it nor did I pressure him at all. It was just what he could afford. I know some Middle Eastern women who got divorced and their husbands never paid for Maher or provided for them financially after divorce, they became straight deadbeats, sadly.

[@pyrpyr5Wolf]

That was my thought too. Not a muslim myself but none of my friends received that much. £20k is more than you need for a down payment for a nice house here. I'm not surprised if it's stressing him although his mum sounds like a job and a half.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Yeah it has a prepayment and a security payment in case of divorce. We don't know if she gonna surprise him of asking him to convert to Islam few days before marriage!

[@tea6956]

Yh like a relative of mine, her husband gave her a gold jewellery set for like £1000 maybe idk and it was like 2 years ago - i guess it just depends on the family itself

[@aleesaahmad7357]

Joe's editing gets better each time

[@CarolinaGifalli]

The "book this decade?" insert was iconic

[@aleesaahmad7357]

@@CarolinaGifalli fr

[@roxy4325]

Loved "Redacted" 😂

[@melodysmash]

The "keeping up retention" bits really got me

[@julynightowl7413]

the writing on the palm is my favorite.. it implies as a cheat sheet when dylan was giving an advice 🤣

[@user-rz5bb5ec1k]

the maher IS NOT meant to represent how much you value yourself as, it is supposed to be just enough so the wife/husband (depending on who filed for the divorce) has sort of a safety net if they ever get divorced.And yes that amount is ridiculous

[@Moshka_Ma]

Exactly. In fact in Islam, the less the Mahr is the more blessed the marriage will be. But the girl gotta be from a SUPER MEGA RICH family to ask for that amount as Mahr

[@HeyArlo]

Pay for your own damn self, safety net my ass.

[@nrdwlh528]

True, plus it doesnt have to be a specific amount, every family sets it to an amount they can pay.

[@ambershoba]

Oooh I thought the Maher was like a lobolo (dowry) like we’ve got here in South Africa where the amount can be ridiculously high. A translated Zulu saying: a mans measure is not his beauty but his riches

[@stayhungry7509]

@@ambershobano it’s like a safety net for the bride in case her husband dies or divorces her she has at least sometime to lean on.

[@nataliaalghul3526]

The confession about befriending outcasts kinda hit me hard because while I'm not an outcast, I have struggled with losing friends in the past and my ex best friend recently ended our friendship and told me that she had been fake for most of our friendship. I'm extremely honest so people being able and willing to fake a friendship to that extent almost freak me out

[@waddle623]

Yeah cuz what kind of person gets enjoyment from that.

[@madelinewhite813]

I’m so sorry and don’t feel bad ab being an outcast small circles are better trust me the bigger the circle the faker the ppl

[@hannnnn213]

As a kind of an outcast myself, can confirm, those people would ruin me. So thank you horrible ppl for the misery, you win!

[@projectjupiter5523]

wtf I am so sorry this happened to you. please know that the way your friend treated you isn't due to any flaw in your character, they're just a weirdo. don't feel bad or as though you did something to deserve it, normal people don't act like your ex best friend did 💓

[@0w0nashy]

I started uni last year and I've only made one friend so far (so that makes 2 with a childhood friend who also goes there) and even though I have a friend group outside of that, and sometimes people do try to talk to me I just feel like they are trying to use me because most of the time they praise and ask about my works/homeworks and I just can't shake the feeling that they want to take advantage or something. This wouldn't be a new thing though. It has happened before and now I'm scared to talk to people 🫡

[@samcarmen]

As a poc girlie myself: I see a lot of girls who marry outside of their race/culture demanding their husband to just conform to their traditions without much compromise. Especially if the man is white. You chose to potentially marry a white man, therefore you must also compromise to make new/blended traditions, not just your way or the highway

[@nabihat.1426]

exactlyyyy

[@meifennellysieu7510]

As someone with one White and one Asian parent that had to do this, completely agreed. (Note: compromise doesn't always work out, but I just want to leave the disclaimer that my folks are still really happy together, so blended traditions can work).

[@samcarmen]

@@meifennellysieu7510 exactly. You have to be open to the fact that things aren’t going to be the way your culture does it exactly. Even within the same culture, there are always variations. Compromise does not mean guilt tripping/being passive aggressive (like in this video), but rather coming to a mutual agreement where sure both of you lose something, but you also gain something even more special

[@errantintent]

Also lets be real, they're likely going to live in his country or wherever he decides to go and she should be conforming to his culture

[@samcarmen]

@@errantintent I think she’s American, but is trying to stick to her culture

[@zedlaftzegarld]

18 year old, ask yourself why and how someone with 10+ years more life experience has the same worldview/outlook/humor as a teenager. Not saying it's an impossible match but most people grow and learn a TON between those ages

[@land-uknown7456]

Fr these types of relationships don't work at all because there's a power imbalance her saying she's mature enough to be with someone almost twice her age is crazy like you just started being an adult

[@JCWM2]

Yup. I'm 36 and I've got some friends who are 23-24 and I could NEVER imagine dating someone that young, let alone 18.

[@cchase1282]

“you may be mature for your age but they are immature for their age” (the older person for being interested)

[@micahsnow346]

It’s very dangerous bc the guy will typically tell the young girl that “you’re so mature for your age” and that it’s ok to be with an older man because you’re more put together, you can handle it, etc. The real question is - if this older man is so “mature” why aren’t women HIS AGE dating him? Ugh ugh ugh

[@AngelJuliet]

I love how she says she’s mentally mature. I want to make sure she’s sure of that. Are you sure? Or is it him telling you “you’re so mature” because 🚩 I’m 33 and I don’t want to date a boy a want to date a man. And I’m sorry but an 18 year old is still a child to me. Shoot a person in their 20’s is like a child to me.

[@haileysmith3523]

I love the “what do I know” after every piece of advice just in case it doesn’t work out

[@cathy4697]

#not Financial advice, dylan's version

[@Moshka_Ma]

The Maher story is kinda ridiculous ngl. The girl is Muslim and wants to marry a non-Muslim man (which is not allowed in Islam) so her and her family don't really care about the religion, but are still sticking to the Maher "tradition" in Islam and asking for that ridiculous amount of money too? Girl no please pick a side.. Your boyfriend is rightfully upset if you're just bringing this up suddenly

[@rice-hero-VS-hungry-monster]

Exactly. She's picking and choosing what parts of the religion she wants to follow. She's ok with dating before marriage but still wants to uphold the mahr? And she's completely going against the sunnah of mahr which is meant to be smaller, more manageable amounts. Absolutely ridiculous.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Yeah she also has to ask him for a circumcision if she wanna respect her religion, assuming he would pretend to convert just to marry her! She is just a materialistic girl who loves white c@cks.

[@fatimahaamer9272]

Absolutely agree, I was looking for this comment.

[@tonystonem9614]

Yh I was wondering that too , and her “traditional Middle Eastern Muslim family” are ok with her getting a marriage proposal from a non Muslim unwilling to pay mehr? And they were dating long before that too? 😭

[@knxa]

As far as I know, a Muslim can marry a Christian but yes I agree with the rest.

[@KelliMarissa]

As a 32 year old, there is literally no 18 year old on this planet that has experienced enough of life to be in the same headspace as me romantically. You're talking about literal different generations here. And I can't fathom wanting to be out with someone who can't even drink legally or get into clubs or certain bars (unless it's teen night lol)? They always say they're mature for their age because these predators tell them that, they want young girls who don't know any better.

[@Stinkeroniandcheese]

Awe, I love seeing some of my favourite creators pop up in comments of my other favourite creators, especially when the genres are so different 🩷

[@KelliMarissa]

@@Stinkeroniandcheese hahaha of all the comments to find me on 🤣 sorry, I'm a bit passionate about this subject lol

[@Stinkeroniandcheese]

@@KelliMarissa haha, your comment was 100% truth. You've also made some super important vlogs on these topics, so I love that you stand up for women and girls 🩷

[@DeeDubb247]

As someone who's recently been cheated on by my long term partner, experiencing the life altering, completely shattering pain that it's caused, not just me but so many people in both our lives....these stories make me sick to my stomach, and feel hopeless about finding a faithful partner in the future 😢

[@hleebeg]

I've lost 2 lifelong friends because they cheated. One I literally considered family and I saw him cheating on a 9 year relationship with our other friend. I caught him having s3x with someone at the side of the road! The other one was cheating on his wife for 8 months while she was at work and he was at home with their son. I'm sorry that happened to you, cheating is horrible.

[@livafunder7559]

I promise faithful partners exist. It is tough I’ll give you that but they’re out there. I personally had an issue w being tempted whilst in relationship (never completely cheated) and I learned with time how much it hurt the other person and haven’t done it for a long while and don’t want to either. Just as there are horrible people in any sense, there are great people. I think we’ve all met people who went against common morals but we’ve also met people who were great, stand up people and that applies to this matter as well. Hope you can heal and learn from your experience and find someone trustworthy❤

[@minisn3066]

I know it feels hopeless. But ask yourself, would you cheat? No, you’re a faithful person and the odds are there are other people like you :) I’m really sorry for what you went through.

[@elizaeligio3669]

I used to feel that way too, but there are faithful people out there. For a long time I didn't think I could ever trust someone the way I trust my husband, and that is because he has earned it. He is such a faithful person and just by being himself has healed a hurt deep within me. He never shames me for needing strong boundaries in our relationship and genuinely does his best to make me feel secure in our relationship. One time toward the beginning we were doing conflict resolution, I said "I know you didn't cheat on me..." and he said "That doesn't matter. I still hurt you." The ownership we both take is very key. It really helps if you are friends for awhile before and can see how they treat people. Are they honest with other people? Are they considerate with other people? Are they selfless? Show self-restraint? My husband and I were friends for two years before we started dating and I am so grateful we have that friendship. It revealed who he was to me, and showed me I could trust him.

[@Lucy-mq2ho]

@@livafunder7559 congrats for used to be cheating ig no ones happy for you lol

[@sammiox_]

You know sometimes I forget Dylan is 20. He seems so mature for his age even if he’s only 2 years old from 18.

[@aperson1004]

girl hes 32 yo

[@Nelssonius]

Did you see the nose ring tho? So young

[@cookiepoop33]

@@aperson1004hes 20

[@bsgpink]

@@aperson1004 He's 20, Didn't you see the nose ring?

[@Jayre]

I thought he turned 22

[@maryam-nusa]

Hi as a middle eastern woman, I want to clear a few things about maher :) First of all, it is a sort of a gift from the husband to the wife for her to have something to fall back on if divorce or something happens. However, it doesn’t need to be money and can be anything both people agree on: I’ve seen people ask for cats, house products, jewelry, etc Second of all, the husband’s background has to be counted. If the husband can’t afford more than let’s say 100 dollars due to some issues that he’s going through now, it is okay to pay much less. As long as both parties agree to it, it could be a dollar. Third of all, it has nothing to do with your self worth. It recently became a way to show off how much wealth the other person has/one is marrying into since maher could be displayed in the weddings (doesn’t have to be but most do it to show off). With that being said, no offense but the girl in the vid really doesn’t need to be offered that much since she comes from a wealthy background and her own job pays well so she doesn’t need the money to help her in case they don’t work out. Also, they’ve been together for a while, so she should’ve introduced him to the culture and what to expect, no? If the guy can’t afford the amount of money she wants, she has to change it because she shouldn’t stop a marriage for money when she already has money… that’s my take idk PS sorry for writing a whole essay about this haha

[@aperson1004]

if you read other comments you can see other muslims finding this girl kinda dumb too like not even us muslims agree wtf her problem is lol

[@310-h3f]

I couldn’t have said it better.

[@k.a._135]

Well said

[@noorhanahmed3818]

YES THANK U cuz now anyone who's watching this video might think islam is not fair (astaghfurallah) which is NOT true at all they just represent it in a bad way

[@pinkdolphin8188]

@@nisa4581 It's probably because you'll atleast be able to have a pet cat as a companion when grieving the loss of the partner or just the loss of the relationship in general. Atleast that's what comes to my mind.

[@Nikigeorge]

I love how now Joe roasts Dylan about his book more than the troublemakers do 😂😂

[@zynpkrdg]

Joe is a gift to humanity.😌

[@Black3ml]

Ahhh "mature for your age" is a lie. I was also told I was mature for my age (19 at the time, dating a 30+), turns out it was all childhood traumas, and the relationship went to shit anyway when I >actually< started growing up mentally and working on being independent (which that person didn't like at all). A relationship like that will only hold you back.

[@ShAk3nBaK317]

Yikes on the 18 and 32 year old. I think the advice she actually needs is how to recognize grooming and understand how wrong that relationship is. I hope she’s listened to Guts by now 😩

[@carriehults13]

and speak now...& red....

[@ShAk3nBaK317]

don't forget "Would've, Could've Should've"@@carriehults13

[@adalyn648]

Dear John, "Don't you think I was too young."

[@flamingaish]

give me back my girlhood it was mine first

[@k.a._135]

As a middle eastern female myself, I think I can add some commentary on the fiance story. While Maher is traditional and mandatory, it doesn't have it be that much. The fact that she is insisting on keeping it high while knowing he couldn't currently afford it is a bit concerning to me because it leaves 2 options: 1. Wait on the marriage plans until he gains enough of a stable income to actually be able to pay that or reduce it while she continues to be understanding of the difference in cultures and get used to compromising as a result ( this isn't a bad option since it essentially depends on both parties communicating and accepting compromises ) 2. Rethink the whole marriage for a while because middle eastern marriage expectations are very tranditional to say the least. For one part: the husband is expected to be the family provider and be responsible for paying for all expenses and the wife can have her own personal money for herself ( she doesn't have to help on home expenses and bills for example ). If the family and her are already having issues with the maher ( the marriage hasn't even started yet ), I don't know if their families will like how things will go with all the other traditional marriage expectations that would follow if they do get married. I can sense future family drama and tentions ensuing as a result just by knowing how the guys mother reacted. They ( the couple ) really need a serious conversation about what they expect from the marriage, roles, any tradition influenses, children, income.. etc. And then tell their families what they are expecting after agreeing on these terms. Otherwise, I honestly don't see this marriage lasting at all.

[@annadixon2693]

Thank you for providing this background! Really insightful and helpful ❤

[@Aardappelpurree]

Just to add, maybe couple's counceling to bridge these differences and gain clarity might help in this case

[@katelynharrison3779]

My question is how has this subject not come up in the two years they’ve been together? I get they’re just now talking about marriage but I think the subject of cultural differences would have come up at least once😅 If you say the price doesn’t have to be that high, then I’d agree he should rethink the marriage. Seems a little shady to me😅

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@LevePalestinaKrossaSionismen]

I'm Palestinian raised in the US, and my husband is Algerian, both Muslims. My mom and her friends were heavily pressuring me and my husband to have Maher, but we both refused, especially as Algeria does not really practice Maher. They have a different practice in which the groom gifts a gold set to his bride (Talbeesa) within his budget, and it's not in our culture to get diamond rings, usually gold patterned wedding rings. Gold is given to the bride, so she may sell it if need be in the event of divorce or death. It's unfortunately all too common that many men who agree to Maher don't even end up paying much of it, if at all in the event for divorce, especially not in Western countries. So there's no point in Maher in Western countries, in my opinion. That woman needs a lawyer to write them up a prenuptial instead.

[@astrowolvez]

Yeah that 32 year old has definitely said something like they act like they’re older or they’re mature for their age to justify and manipulate them into thinking it’s okay to date them.

[@nblk5403]

In my experience when I was 18 talking to a 30yo I thought I was so mature now I realize he was so immature he matched my energy

[@elinama7061]

Having a significantly older person be pursuing you as you're barely on the cusp of adulthood is never a good thing. What could someone like that want with someone who's barely matured and knows nothing about life and will probably not be an equal to you? Nothing good

[@Arvak]

100%. 32 year olds have absolutely no business dating 19 year olds. I'm 25 and even I wouldn't date someone under 23, it feels predatory and like I want to take advantage of their naivety and vulnerability

[@depressantdrug]

@@Arvak Feeling predatory and being predatory are two different things. People thrive on finding a problem with consensual age gaps between adults. Save that energy for the real predators.

[@darylesells19]

@Arvak Same, 26 (f) here and the thought of being with someone in their late teens makes me sick. I’m more than happy with my age range and older thank you. The best part is I don’t have to defend myself by saying “s/he is of legal age so dating him / her is fine” as opposed to it being obvious. Mature people don’t have to broadcast their maturity either, if anything it only proves how much more growing is needed so that the actions do all the talking.

[@t3rr4n1_]

The 18 yo one, if a 32 year old man is telling you “you’re mature that’s why I like you” he’s LYING. It’s manipulation, I would advice you to get away from this man because he’s 32 and if he wants someone mature why would go for an 18 yo? Believe me it’s manipulation

[@Arvak]

It's absolutely manipulation, and he's absolutely looking for control. As a 25 year old I wouldn't date someone under 23. Someone who's 32 has absolutely no business going after girls who are barely out of childhood

[@graceisNERD]

Yeah, this guy is a major creep. I hope the girl realizes it soon before things turn.

[@amanix10]

Hey, Dylan. I'm a normal Troublemaker with normal hobbies who just studies and chills at home watching videos most of the time. My social life is very wholesome and introverted, consisting of mainly hanging out with friends between classes. Just to remind you that some of us are regular people!

[@hannahebooth]

doubled except im super out going lol

[@eviebrown993]

"I am quite mentally mature" every 18 year old being groomed ever

[@carolinearnold1839]

0.0% chance the 18 y/o with a 32 y/o bf won’t need therapy

[@r3vora]

With the one at 18:15 the fact that she is thinking about telling her parents makes me think this is quite serious and has been going on for a while which COULD mean it has been going on before she turned 18😬 Either way a 32 yr old has no business dating an 18 year old

[@annadonovan3607]

What if he was 42 and she 28? Still no? Just curious 😊

[@r3vora]

@@annadonovan3607 her frontal lobe would’ve fully developed by then and she would be well over the legal age which prevents any over lapping and creepiness of waiting for a teenager to become legal so no, it wouldn’t be as creepy

[@anna.owo.]

​@@annadonovan3607 i am 20, do you think it would be the same thing to date a 15 or and 25? No it is not, age gaps get smaller over time because the percentages change, 5 years is 1/ 3 of a 15 olds life but only a 1/4 of a 20 year olds life.

[@cocosfilms]

@@annadonovan3607 not the pedo apologist

[@nblk5403]

​@@anna.owo.exactly the older the younger person is the less significant the gap is

[@madikhaali2632]

12:56 Mahr is a payment to the bride which she will keep. This is because if the girl doesn’t have anything (property or gold), she will have something to hold her rights.The mahr can be in the form of money, property, jewelry, or any other valuable asset, and its specific amount or nature is agreed upon by the bride and the groom or their families during the marriage contract negotiations. however, the price is not what she mentioned cause its not a specific amount and women are usually encouraged to not ask a very high amount and take your husband income in mind when asking for mahr. the mahr can be 5 or 1 dollar if you want or the wife can even forgive the mahr and not ask for it if she doesn't want it. The mahr acts as financial security for the bride in case of divorce or the death of the husband. It ensures that she has some financial resources of her own. It upholds the dignity and autonomy of the bride by giving her a financial stake in the marriage.The mahr can vary greatly in amount, depending on cultural, regional, and personal factors. It is a deeply ingrained tradition in Islamic marriages and helps ensure that the financial welfare and well-being of the bride are considered from the outset of the marriage. so its not a cultural thing its a religion thing and the price is not set to a specific amount nor does it tells the value of the wife.

[@almash1417]

I'm from the middle east, and this is the best explanation of mahr so far👍🏻

[@safieaalsnosi]

Thank youuu couldn't word it any better👏

[@cchase1282]

so the woman in the situation doesn’t need a maher at all since she’s richer 😭

[@stafeleez]

Exactly! The girl in the video is misinterpreting the meaning of mehr. She's acting as If she has to ask as much money as she possibly can otherwise she's unworthy of respect which is simply not the case. If her partner is feeling so stressed about it that he's loosing sleep over it then it's definitely her fault. And since she's already apparently richer than him, it would be more respectable for her to ask for less as it shows that she is understanding of her partner's financial situation

[@joshuagore8389]

How does this not make the Mahr sound even more sexist and unfair than before? Just cause something is traditional does not make it right in fact rarely that's the case

[@demo2823]

That one about befriending disliked people to get dirt on them to spread around is just... ouch. As someone who got bullied in school, and not for being a bad person but for just being awkward because I'm autistic (nobody knew at the time), whenever I thought I made a friend I found that anything I told them would spread like wildfire across the school. So I started planting fake stuff about me with specific people so I could track their gossip chains. Ridiculous stuff like I have a fear of the sound of paper tearing, but because they all thought I was ridiculous they believed it. Everyone, every single person I thought was trying to be nice to me, was just fetching new gossip. We are talking about at least 8 people who baited me with friendship who were really just journalists for the gossip train who enjoyed using my lack of other friends to betray me to satisfy otjers' curiosity. And to what end? What does it benefit them to know so much about me? And if they enjoy knowing about me, why couldn't more people just get it from the source?

[@misscraycray777]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you are surrounded by better people now.

[@emilyjane509]

to the 18 year old dating the 32 year old, you can do better, he’s immature, know that you are enough and you deserve someone in your age range and not someone almost twice your age. if you feel that you have to be secretive about your relationship there is a reason for that, trust that gut instinct.

[@carlotta4th]

"I'm mature!" Said every 18 year old ever, and every creepy 35 year old who is pursuing just recently legal adults My opinion is: you both have to be out on your own for 3 years before I will even entertain the idea that you could be peers. Otherwise it's way too easy for the relationship to just be replacing one parent with another figurative parent. Both in how they treat you and in who is providing all the finances.

[@kassygo1375]

Dylan’s advice about telling your parents about dating a 32 year old was horrible 😂 I really hope they use it and report back 😂😂

[@Aardappelpurree]

yea lol. my advise would be to ensure your parents are in the best mood posible. cook them a meal, do the dishes, bring pops a beer. Whatever it is they like. Spill the new after a movie & ice cream night with mom. Time your shit nice lol. It might sound like a bribe, maybe it is, but it sure is effective

[@fourdayz1414]

⁠@@Aardappelpurree honestly my advice would be to wait a few years before telling your parents. I just don’t know how they spin a story like that and make it sound okay. Not unless their parents have the same difference in age and can relate in some way

[@roxy4325]

My advice: 18, Say nothing until you come to your senses and break up with 32

[@simplesimply3753]

My advice is to say nothing. Parents don’t need to know ages. And either at some point a break or full commitment will happen.

[@CocoaPuffss]

​@@roxy4325 right? As someone who was once 17 and dated a 29 year old and read similar experiences I can say that men at that age who date girls that young are low value and women their own age know and don't want to date them so they go for the naive girls who are usually insecure. Both my parents knew our ages but sadly didn't care. I don't know what could've helped but I still wish they made an effort to do something about it

[@gabrijela0978]

im sorry but no matter who pursued who, that eighteen year old should not be dating someone in his thirties!!!!!

[@lostavenue4819]

This!!!!! 18 is practically still a kid. I mean I’m only 21 but the mental difference between myself as an 18 year old and myself as a 21 year old is huge!! I can’t imagine being attracted to someone who is 18 in my thirties. It’s so gross on his part. He’s being extremely selfish.

[@ANME1rocker]

As someone who dated a 33 yo when I was 17... I'm almost his age now. As the years go by it makes less and less sense as to how he was attracted to me.

[@alexzalexz3420]

It’s sadly legal for a 18 yr old and a 30 yr old but I just hope most people realize how inhumane it really is I get uncomfortable seeing 21 yr old guys trying to get with 16 yr old girls or even a 19 yr old and 16 yr old cause like how the hell do you meet a 16 yr old when you should be out of high school

[@alexzalexz3420]

@@ANME1rockerthat’s completely illegal and your letting that slide are you okay?

[@CocoaPuffss]

More like that guy in his thirties shouldn't be dating that 18 year old. There's basically no difference between a seventeen year old and an 18 year old, besides the government telling them they're adults. They're basically still kids thinking they are fully grown. That grown ass man should know better

[@keelwarner231]

Ma'am. That urge to corrupt men is called narcissism. Lmao

[@JJ-1866]

The editor plays off of Dylan's humor so well lmao

[@rachelfondeur]

You can really see the distress in Dylan’s face when he’s trying to make jokes but the secrets are confessing to literal crimes 😂

[@rtred3_]

Dylan, I offer you another palate cleanser. I watch your videos while cross stitching or doing embroidery and my pet parrot just sits next to me and vibes.

[@auden4531]

aw

[@jessicamatos1868]

I honestly love this so much!

[@Stacey_Not_Sarah]

Can I just say major props to Dylan’s editor for all the funny jokes thrown into the video. I love Dylan’s reactions to the secrets but I equally love seeing what random stuff is edited into the video afterwards

[@neussd8752]

fr, the subway surfers thing worked for me HAHAh

[@MichelleAlina91]

The third person deserves a special place in hell. Destroying people like this is srsly insane

[@heyariaz]

3:32 That's why Dylan is stronger than I am. I don't think I could do it if I were in his shoes because I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I have an audience like that. Kudos to him for handling it gracefully.

[@heyariaz]

I don't mean to sound judgmental; we all have our own secrets, and I have my share too. But there are some things that it's better not knowing.

[@sumayah6025]

From a Muslim girl, more about the Meher (pronounced Meh-her): You basically summed it up perfectly Dylan but I must stress, it is actually a religious obligation, to protect the rights of a woman. In Islam, it is important to protect the woman, as she has more to loose if she ends up divorced (unfortunately because of the state of the world, that’s just how it is). So to protect her, she must receive a meher of her choosing. I know she stated 20-100k (I suppose because she is from an afluent family with some sort of influence), but really, she can decide what she wants And it should be no one else’s damn business. It’ll be her money. Its her meher. It can be as simple as, I want a cat and a car to, as she said, 100k or more (which to be honest is an absurd amount of money for a meher). She should really be taking her potential husbands financial capabilities into account also before deciding on an amount. But before i continue, it’s also important to mention that, no one is forcing the potential husband to cough up this money, he can say no and walk away respectively. *Personally I think, 5- 10k is decent but that’s just me. Like I said everybody knows their own worth and what they want.

[@sumayah6025]

Sorry for the word vomit* 🤣

[@Sara-dv2nj]

It's an absurd amount of money and just straight up disgusting tbh .

[@chubbybunny3778]

​@@Sara-dv2njgood thing no Islamic women will ever get with you so you have nothing to worry about❤

[@Sara-dv2nj]

@@chubbybunny3778 I'm a Muslim women . Unless you're implying that i'm a lesbian , i have no interest in marrying other women . I also wouldn't ask for such an absurd amount of money , marriage is based on compromise and mutual understanding and respect , i think a women should be considerate of her future husband's financial capabilities .

[@sumayah6025]

@@Sara-dv2nj Your views are completely valid and I somewhat agree, I can’t say I fully do because, like I mentioned, it IS down to the woman at the end of the day and it is ultimately her decision. We’ve got to remember there is a fundamental reason why Allah created a mehram in the first place and that is to protect the woman in the long run, so the amount, I think for this reason, shouldn’t be a petty sum, for the sake of your husband alone. Both your safety and his situation must be considered.

[@vixiestarfire]

you can be the coolest person in the world but if you cheat I automatically don’t respect you 😂

[@mitushimahodaya3033]

Is it just me Or Dylan actually gives thoughtful and emotionally intelligent advice, I mean how can a 20 year old guy do that.... But hey .. What do I know 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂😂🤣

[@Inesines44456]

He’s 20?!!????!?

[@eternyti]

@@Inesines44456 no, it's an inside joke

[@elizabethtiger1996]

What do you mean, he just turned 18...

[@kpe02]

@@Inesines44456Thiink he said 21 two weeks ago 😅

[@udontevenwannaknowbruv]

Damn I was convinced that he’s like 25 idk 💀

[@AlycatCrimson]

18:12 if any man older than 25 is okay with dating an 18 year old, that’s a red flag imo.

[@_Ana]

Yeah, I felt a bit weird at 18 when a 25 year old was pursuing me (nothing happened) because it was the same age gap me and my sibling had.

[@ssjbargainsale]

Pretty much. The age gap stops mattering so much when the youngest is over 25 though. Before that its just creepy

[@585Courtney]

my aunt dated anger husband when she was 19 and he was 27/29. She's 64 now and a widow.

[@585Courtney]

My other aunt was 14 and shacking up with a 40 year old....🙃😶😳

[@potato416]

When I was 18/19, I was approached by a 25 year old dude and he asked me if I was in high school 💀 Honestly, I don't think it's so much the specific age, it's more so the power imbalances between someone who should be in their career (and done with school) and someone who is literally a dependent.

[@NecoNiko]

The second secret honestly can just be solved with roleplay. Like, just roleplay that your partner is married or something but your the temptress

[@kellye.5678]

I don’t think so. I think it’s a self esteem issue. Like you’d expect married people to be really satisfied and faithful so if you’re charming enough to tempt them it’s a huge ego boost. External validation. I really think it stems from poor self esteem.

[@Nikki14368]

​@kellye.5678 I'm not sure if it's poor self-esteem. I think self-esteem get used as an excuse way too often. There is still something like discipline and rationalisation and if that doesn't help, see a f'ing therapist if you feel like ruining people's lives. People with actual low self-esteem would probably don't see themselves as capable of doing something like that. I think that this persons ego might be through the roof and this just gives an extra boost or satisfaction and has more probability finding its roots in self-absorption and a feeling of grandiosity. Hence going to such extremes to get that rush.

[@Nikki14368]

Glad to see someone coming up with possible solutions inside a relationship. Too often people don't want to think hard and look for things outside the relationship instead of deepening the relationship they have or could have with someone.

[@axis1198]

I do my homework or crochet or make bead jewelries while watching Dylans videos. And then laugh along. I truly think his videos have created a memory core in my head. Its truly wholesome. He is the best youtuber Ive ever found on my own.

[@nellieb6585]

5:58 TW: Bullying. This one legit gave me flashbacks of when I was in school and I was a social outcast (I was new in town and I’d moved to the city from a farm) so I was bullied and I had no friends for the longest time, until this one girl became my “friend” just so she could learn things about me and dish out all my info to my bullies for their enjoyment. The worst part was that she’d pretend to stand up for me whenever she was with me and the bullies were acting up so I genuinely thought she was my friend. It wasn’t until the bullies started getting really specific about the stuff they were making fun of me with that I realized that she was the one telling them all these things about me (I mean she was literally my only friend so it wasn’t that hard to figure out) and when I confronted her about it she straight up just laughed at me and started mocking me the same way the bullies would. So yeah. Whoever it is that sent this secret, please get help and stop this behavior because it is scarring to your victims because it’s been like 15 years since then and I still have massive trust issues - in part due to this experience.

[@nonofyb]

I feel you, something similar happened to me. My "friend" even told me made up secrets about herself to make me trust her and open up myself. It really destroyes your trust in people. It took me 5 years to open up to people again, even about the littlest of things. But now another 5 years later Im not struggling with it anymore. If anyone else has been thru this and is seeking for advice on how to deal: - if you need to talk to someone but you dont trust the people RL, try online. Even if its just venting on tumblr. - Its better to hand pick your (good/trustworthy) friends based on who you really vibe with and with whom you actually feel comfortable instead of just who you are having fun with. - its alright if you dont trust people right away, but if you want to get close friends you need to take that leap of faith and open up. But you van slowly build that trust, you can wait years before you open up real far

[@xapokalypse]

Just emotional and psychological torture. This is terrible, sorry this happened to you.

[@UtopiaMotley]

The person who wrote that 100% does not care.

[@serotoninseeker2411]

Im so sorry that happened to you, teens and kids can be such little shits

[@nellieb6585]

@@UtopiaMotley I’ve also considered the fact that they could also be lying and not be this messed up at all…🤷

[@galacticcbitxh3641]

I would absolutely back out of a relationship if my partner told me I HAD to pay between $20,000 - 100,000 to marry them That's a ridiculous thing to ask of someone, religion or not.

[@f.airy.x]

This is very insensitive to religion and culture. It’s so easy to have this perspective when ur not from this culture. Honestly you come off just rude in general. The person was respectful and understanding but you can’t just expect a person to throw their entire religion/culture away.

[@m9i821]

mahr is supposed to be a safety net for the girl to rely on when something bad happens in the marriage (abuse, divorce, etc). you sound so ignorant.

[@galacticcbitxh3641]

​​@@f.airy.x putting a financial burden on someone (plus a monetary value on your relationship) & making it non-negotiable is pretty manipulative in any scenario with someone who isn't religious, so personally I don't think it should be excused just because someone says their religion or culture told them to do it. Maybe take a moment to think if it's actually worth the emotional turmoil you're putting the person you claim to love through.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Just to be clear, the amount she mentioned is not a religious thing, that's just her family I guess they're so rich they think 20k is reasonable

[@HeyArlo]

@@m9i821 How about you provide for yourself. This isn't something you just casually mention when you're about to go marry. If your culture means THAT much to you, then find someone within your own culture, like damn.

[@victoriavvc]

I think Dylan has gotten so used to how wholesome his community is, that he himself, has a parasocial relationship with us and therefore gets so surprised and weirded out when people have dark dark secrets 😂😂😂

[@navyabhat1209]

"Your native language is misery" Oh how I love you Dylan😂

[@pinkbunny365]

Is there a single person on this planet that could hate this man??it's impossible he's hilarious!

[@mirandavega_]

The one with the Maher is tough because if she really wanted to adhere to her culture’s norms and it was THAT important to her then SHE SHOULDNT HAVE DATED SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF HER CULTURE. They both have options of dating other people, tough but that’s the reality.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

She seems to be living a western lifestyle and she's engaged to a British dude but for that thing where he has to give her a lot of money, she becomes super traditional and religious

[@l.2620]

​@@radhiadeedou8286 I normally dislike calling women golddiggers, but she's just straight up after the money it seems like

[@klpl1737]

Exactly!

[@yusurkassem4174]

@@l.2620I don’t think that’s the case tbh I agree it’s ridiculous to expect that much money ESP from someone who is from a completely different culture I feel the girl that wrote the story sounds quite naive to me. £20-100k is an insane amount for normal Muslims to begin with, so I’m assuming her family is just insanely rich tbh and that’s what her surroundings are. Most Muslims would pay no where near that amount, and some women ask for nothing. To me it seems like she’s naive and that’s the expectations she got from her upbringing, also mehr is supposed to be a religious thing but for her it sounds like she only knows it as a cultural thing and maybe her family sees it as bad if she got a low mehr? This isn’t true in Islam it doesn’t reflect your ‘value’ at all Anywyas yea I don’t think she’s a gold digger bc I’ve met naive people like that , who don’t even know the purpose and point of mehr to begin with (which shouldn’t even apply if you’re not having an Islamic marriage to a Muslim person ☠️) She just sounds very naive and out of touch and obv she’s heard girls in her family throwing around these numbers and she used it as a base

[@bumblerbree]

@@yusurkassem4174 yeah, it seemed to me that she's from a very well-off family and doesn't fully understand how staggering that amount is for most people. maybe if she were marrying someone else from a very wealthy family (like i'm assuming has been the tradition in her family so far) that amount would be reasonable and if you don't realise class differences in comparison you might assume that your partner doesn't love you as much as all your relatives' partners that payed the insane price or that they don't value you as much, which obviously isn't the case.

[@vasvi_chaturvedi2005]

Me getting all giggly and excited as soon as i see the notification for his video

[@Swiftiebooklover7]

12:50 This is an interesting thing to me because I am Indian and traditionally we used to have a culture here where the bride's family would give dowry to the groom's family for the wedding as a negotiation. It was practised earlier with the thinking that since the groom will be providing for the bride for her whole life, she should pay a dowry in the start. However, due to multiple protests over the years, and the fact that women work nowadays and also provide for families, dowry is now considered a punishable offence in the country with imprisonment for life as well. Some people might argue that it is a tradition that should be followed, but the tradition in question can have severe consequences for families involved. It's my opinion that just because something is a tradition doesn't mean it has to be followed by everyone or should be a boundation. The woman in the above prompt is asking for a huge amount of money to get married. Marriage shouldn't be a contract where you have to pay money to the other party. Also like Dylan mentioned, if the guy in question is in mid twenties, he probably doesn't have enough reliable income to be spending that much. They will be starting their life together, car, house, kids, etc there are going to be many huge expenses in the future. Adding another monetary burden is a little unfair.I think his mother did the right thing by getting involved. Also if the girl loves him, she herself shouldn't be asking for that amount. Making it seem like he should be paying that much amount as he thinks he himself is worth is a little funny, so if he pays less amount, her family can say "oh, you don't think you are a good person?" I feel whenever someone brings up traditions, suddenly everyone starts walking on eggshells around them, even if the tradition in question is negative for other people. I personally wouldn't give money to a guy in order for him to marry me no matter what his family traditions say.

[@laha9372]

Her mega strict background also doesn't seem to have caused problems before, although he probably lives a more modern life (we didn't get much info on that, this is how it seems though). So I'm wondering, why she insists on specifically this tradition *suspicious sideeye*

[@r-jamie.4205]

Thing is this isn't really a tradition, it's more of an Islamic practice. Also in Islam when the parents pass away, the biggest sum is given to the son(s), so in a sense everything kind of mediates each other with the dowry (if that makes sense). But the dowry I believe can be any amount really, and if no one wants to settle, then you can call off the marriage if you deem it important to you.

[@loligotnodon8511]

it's not that she 'insists', it's that the marriage won't happen without it + the amount of money is usually set by tribes/families. @@laha9372

[@synnamon6076]

Omg i was literally going to say this cuz I'm Indian as well. Culture change and should change all the time as the new generations are born. Not everything in one's culture is 'good' per se. Like the caste system in India, where the higher caste considered lower caste as untouchable and lesser than was literally part of our culture, the fact that women were supposed to burn in the fire after their husbands died (sati) was also part of our culture. This being part of indian culture however never made it an okay practice, and the fact things have fortunately changed is a good thing. Imo If the women who wrote the thing would tell her fiance that he doesn't actually have to pay to marry, that would be her changing a not so good part of her culture.

[@kenyett7]

I see your point, but in this case, I think it should be negotiated based on their future plans. The mom suggesting a coin headband was wild, though, they could at least compromise on the amount. My dad is adamant about a dowry being paid, especially since it will be going towards the wedding, if someone plans to propose to me and they don't want to pay or even negotiate on the dowry, I would not marry them. They just don't seem compatible in this way

[@yazminclarke1474]

Gotta say, I used to watch youtubers religiously growing up but now in my early/mid twenties for the last 5 years the only person I continue to come back to is Dylan. I remember finding his videos on his Dylan Will Not Participate and to have seen how much he has grown into himself has been so great. Thanks Dylan for continuing to post every Monday, your videos bring me so much comfort😊

[@supposedlymel]

once again a round of applause for joe's editing, i almost spat out my water a couple of times with laughter

[@Vi-wl3rc]

As an Arab,I understand the point of maher when it comes to marriage. However,I don’t agree with the whole thing of it being the largest sum means the wife-to-be is further more esteemed. I believe there are religious and rightful reasons as to why that rule had been placed,but it doesn’t have to always be money it can be whatever the wife desires. Frankly 20-100k is a ridiculous amount but hey,to each their own. Tbh he needs time to process it and in the mean time she should give him more insight on her background,because if anything this marks the lack of communication.

[@winddruid9789]

*Response to **7:30* I live in the middle east (Kuwait), and Mahr is a strict tradition. But still, if you are going to marry outside of your people and culture, don't expect the same traditions and values. And basing your worth on your Mahr (which meant for the widowed needy women) at all is pretty pathetic when you are so eager to say that you are from a rich family and studying biomedicine. The British guy needs to grow a pair and have a good open conversation about this, but the Arabian women can't have her cake and eat it too. You can't enforce your culture and beliefs on the predisposition of your love.

[@munazzaaasim6601]

Hi Dylan. Seeing the confessions of your community is really crazy. Since I too am a Muslim, I wished to contribute. In my culture, Maher is an obligation by religion, however, she was wrong to depict it as the bride's value. So essentially grooms are essentially prepared to pay it. Since this husband seems unaware of it, I assume this isn't a Muslim family and this marriage is not really permitted according to our religion on the basis of the same exact issues. The Maher is set on the basis of the groom's ability. The number she implied is crazy. It is also like an engagement/wedding ring in your culture. Also, bride can also choose to forego it and it can be paid till death better to pay it upfront though

[@Inesines44456]

Right? Muslim women can’t marry non Muslims, this marriage is not even permissible 😭

[@nargisl9422]

Exactly. Sounded way too cultural. The definition he read online was actually what a Maher was not this stupidity she’s describing. It’s meant in the case the husband leaves her or dies god forbid and should be doable to their financial income. That said it also should not be made super easy to pay off, it needs to a sum that is of some significance to the groom not, let’s say, $2000 if the groom is earning around 100k per year.

[@juliapereira2406]

I feel like these days some people only follow the parts of traditions that benefit them lol, and this seems like an example of it sadly.

[@munazzaaasim6601]

@@juliapereira2406 Exactly right

[@elizabethtiger1996]

I really really loved this one. Your background looks very pleasant to look at, but it also blends well and doesn't distract from you. Your hair looks good, your mustache looks good, and your overall look is giving Taylor's 1989 vibe. (thats random ik) Advices were really great and logical, usually I slightly disagree or I'm not satisfied, but here, it was so nice to listen to. Fun but not annoying editing. Is it just me or the video was super long? Jokes were perfect and really funny, you seem like you're in good mood despite the secrets you have to go through :) and about the secrets, they weren't as traumatizing as the ones in other videos, steping on hamsters for instance. Knitting secret was cute ^^ Also my grandpa passed away yesterday, but I'm happy that I don't use your videos as distraction, something whatever fun, but instead I genuinely enjoy your company, you're really well balanced between fun, serious genuine and savage. It's always very nice to watch your videos.❤ I felt I wanted to write something I actually mean and might be nice for you to see, since I mean it while watching your content.❤❤❤ Thanks very much, I hope comments like this give you at least some percentage of what you provide us with. ❤

[@elbel6170]

for every insane, out of pocket, bordering on the offensive joke this guy says, he says something so genuinely deep and intellectual. bros a walking paradox

[@joanasofiaalmeida]

I love the fact that some one is waiting months and months to have Dylan’s advice and then he does it in such a messy and crazy way 🤪😂

[@tamthuong4048]

ok

[@GreySeashell-j3m]

Joana are you in one of these?

[@imboringidkwhyimalive]

Joana did u not get the advice u wanted😭

[@Mia-ry9hl]

DYLAN ON A MONDAY??

[@ayeshanasir6607]

As per usual. A man of etiquette

[@violeclaudio5833]

Its tuesday

[@ariakatherine1391]

it’s a tuesday

[@adarmironi5984]

Of course, every single monday, as usual

[@oregano689]

it’s chewsday innit

[@anaikahaider4057]

For the advice about the Maher. This isn't a small thing to bring up randomly. I am making an assumption that you live in the West and your family is back home. In all likelihood you have a decent understanding of your boyfriend's culture and your boyfriend has only seen you in the Western environment that you have been in together. It isn't really surprising that he would have a strong reaction. The fact that this is important to you makes me think that there are several other parts of your culture that are important to you that your boyfriend is completely unaware of. Even if he is willing to do what you want in this situation you will likely have many other problems in the future especially when kids come into the picture.

[@asmaah38]

as a muslim, the mahar in my country is usually 10-30k usd. and its given to help the bride prepare for her wedding and new life ( wedding dress, jewellery, clothes, bags, all that kinda stuff). i think the girl in the story is from a really reallyyyy wealthy maybe that's why her mahar is so expensive.

[@peachyfeeling6758]

Give your editor a raise ! Amazing edit which adds to your humor.

[@angelinedraws806]

On number 2: The thing is that if you're marrying someone outside your culture there are things you can no longer expect to have in that relationship. You can't just expect your partner to completely change the way their world works for you ans your traditions

[@aperson1004]

im muslim too and she is the one in the wrong bc first why is she dadting outside of her culture if its so important to her and second why does she mentions this topic so late into the relationship omg

[@_Ana]

Exactly.

[@310-h3f]

7:21 For the Mahr one, as a Muslim and Middle Eastern, if I were to marry someone from a different culture who I was so sure values and loves me, and I loved him the same way, I would be more than willing to let the Mahr thing go. I just never believed that an amount of money is a reflection of my value to someone, especially when that money can be used towards other things in our marriage like buying a house, affording a nice honeymoon, and living comfortably. In my culture, I’ve seen a lot of men take loans to be able to afford Mahr and had to suffer from terrible living conditions in the first years of marriage from having to pay that loan. Not worth it. If she’s not willing to accept less, she should find someone from her own culture who is already familiar with this and has been saving up for it.

[@user-hw7mf6sp7r]

I think you can actually mahr people with different things then just money as a house, car, gold and some even do the quran. The mahr has to be payed before death but in reality she should give him multiple of choices bcs it does not need to be 100,000£

[@310-h3f]

@@user-hw7mf6sp7rsomeone said that, because she comes from a wealthy background, she’s used to people getting large numbers in Mahr. And you are right, she can make compromises for someone she truly loves and trusts. It doesn’t have to be the amount of money she specified at all and that has nothing to do with her value.

[@lilbrownbear]

tbh tho the way i see it its not about money at the end of the day. what she asked for is quite a lot but the overall reaction she received to even ask for maher is the issue. being called a gold digger and problematic by the guy and his family.... She as a muslim (first of all shouldn't have been dating in the first place) but when she decided to settle herself with a white guy, especially one who isnt muslim himself, how does she expect her islamic rights to be fulfilled? maher isnt a cultural thing its a woman's islamic right given by Allah. if he's already rejecting this before they're married how would you expect him to obey other rules the Sharia states. Honestly wouldn't even be his fault because to him they mean nothing. even conforming "for her sake" or "to respect her culture" would neither be enough nor right. that girl really needs to reevaluate her life choices and worldview.

[@amaanmansour3178]

Dylan is that type of KZbinr I completely forget about until he uploads a new vid and I obsessively watch all his past videos for the next 24 hours

[@iamyou3080]

Same 😂

[@eternyti]

Pretty much all the 'friends' I had (which were not many) in elementary & middle school were exactly like #3 and I'll just say that, aside from the lifelong mental illnesses, trauma and trust issues / paranoia the bullying and this kind of treatment has left me with, to this day as a 30+ adult it not only still affects me but I have never forgotten or forgiven these people and regularly fantasize about hurting them back. If I ever came across one of them again, I definitely would. I hope this person's victims get the chance I have yet never had.

[@jes7119]

It sounds like you could benefit from some therapy. Don't go through life carrying such pain. Don't justify wanting to hurt others. You need to work on improving your mental health so you can live your best life. Do you really want to go through life sacrificing so much of your energy and happiness to people who don't even think about you?

[@_tideaina]

My advice to the girl in the fwb situation is to come clean about her feelings. If it's reciprocated you can be more and see where it goes, but if it isn't you can stop putting yourself through the emotional torture of wondering what if.

[@AlycatCrimson]

we need to appreciate joe more because his editing really is the cherry on top of these videos

[@elinama7061]

His edits literally feel like what it's like to live inside Dylan's mind and it's so chaotic but hilarous

[@kaylam7751]

😂😂the workplace bullying got me when dylan said “🤢brits🤮”

[@juniperrs]

i have depression and anxiety and i still have moments of happiness, because thats mostly what happiness is, moments. no one is ever happy all the time, even people who dont have mental illness still have bad days. theres absolutely nothing wrong with being okay sometimes, with being happy for a moment and doing better mentally. i wanted to comment on this because sometimes when i feel happy i feel guilty, but i dont have to, its okay to be okay.

[@wonderlam6366]

About the mahr story, there's no such thing as a fixed amount or an acceptable range. It's all for show because eastern families take pride in how big a maher their daughters receive. In Islam, it can be as low as a silver coin. We don't have to abide by toxic and outdated cultural norms. If you love the man, marry him with the mahr he can comfortably afford. Respect must go both ways.

[@eudhsb]

I literally watched this video while knitting... your videos are great to dispers the monotone of knitting the same stitch over and over 😂 All the best to you!

[@bookishcatlover02]

15:07 - Dylan's audition to be the lead "I'm not like other girls" character in a teen coming of age movie😭😭😭

[@Belaamtc]

“A crush is just a lack of information” so sometimes you actually like romanticizing him better than dating him. I learned this about myself when I got closer to the guy I’ve had a crush on for 4 years and I barely knew him, so I didn’t like him I just liked the idea of him I’ve created

[@DominantBtch]

sometimes yeah, but not for everyone, when I like someone I just like all of them no matter what

[@zarouliaall5390]

Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad person, and then dylan reads secrets

[@Ymartinez00]

3:15 my new favorite line 😂😂😂. Every time dylan says It i laugh cause it’s true, this is me whenever I give advice. Just in case it ruins your life I gotta sprinkle that ✨“what do I know, idk”✨ combo

[@snickbiordking5748]

JOE'S EDITING GETS BETTER AND BETTER IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭

[@MarySanchez-zl1sg]

7:03 that scenario with the outcasted people being betrayed and outcasted even more reminds me that it’s most likely those kinds of people that go through those types of horrible stuff that end up doing things like school sh*otings, and stuff like that.

[@Khadijah1709]

Islamically speaking, you can ask for as much as you want for your Maher and it is your right to ask for whatever ever it is you desire. However, both parties need to agree on what to settle for, within reason, as well. But it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be 20k. It can literally something small, like a cat. It's a completely cultural thing to ask for a lot, but it does not determine your "worth" at all, if you ask for a little. It's completely up to OP if she wants to continue with the relationship or not, whether she chooses to keep a high Maher or not.

[@em8066]

It sounds like she's used to getting whatever she wants from her rich parents. She totally brushed off the token option offered by the fiance's mom, and said it's either thousands of pounds or breaking up. 0_o

[@EmmmyLouise]

The thing with the dowry, if it’s a part of your culture then your family would know and it’s likely they’ve kept onne aside/saved. But if you drop this on your (assuming western) boyfriend and his family they absolutely wouldn’t have saved for anything like this and it would be almost entirely unreasonable to expect them to come up with the money. She should have told him from the get-go.

[@pinkcloud8182]

agreed!

[@lordvoldemort5580]

The FWB thing is so real. I started 'seeing' this guy last year, a few months after me and my ex broke up. He had this playboy reputation and I guess it was an easy rebound, I caught feelings despite constantly saying 'he's everything I hate about men all wrapped up into one man' and when he found out I was all like 'it's fine it's nothing serious, it doesn't mean I want to be with you.' He ditched me for some other girl who was essentially to him what he is to me, while he pursued her I tried things out with this other guy but then we both got burned by those other people and somehow came back 'together' again. Now it's 7 months later, we're still seeing each other, except at this point I'm completely over my ex and I feel like fwb and I are better friends, hence my feelings for him are now stronger and I think I really do want something more. It's a whole ass mess. Don't fuck your friends.

[@catsmom129]

The serial cheater should respectfully break up with the current guy, then find someone with a cuckolding kink to “cheat on” and later “confess” to.They say there’s a lid for every pot, so who knows?

[@naomiiib_p]

When you said “but hey” at 22:13 I whispered “that’s just a theory.. a GAME THEORY!” 😂

[@Swordfishdances]

For the girl that said she started getting feelings for her friends with benefits. I was in this situation. Don't stay quiet! be the better person knowing that you may lose this person. I told my fling at the time that if we continue I will probably want more. I also didn't demand a response right away. just a heads up and to think about it. I think he gave me his answer a few weeks... maybe a month after that. almost 6 yrs later and we're married. However, I knew it wasn't fair for him or me at the time and gave him the respect to figure it out. Respect yourself and him and find a person who will love you.

[@kittenssavelives]

i feel like dylan should be used to the disturbing secrets😭😭💀

[@nadiezhda96]

as a girl who prefers casual hookups, i definitely don't want to date everyone i sleep with. but i still enjoy our connection and time together. i value the vibe between us more than anything. i would never hook up with a person just because of the looks. no matter how hot they are, i need a bit more than just physical attraction. it did create some situations with friends and acquaintances that were awkward but i always try to be upfront about my expectations and make sure no one is suffering from one-sided feelings.

[@anna99997]

Can I ask how old you are ? I had plenty of girl friends who told me that they like the casual hooks ups...until they admited that they didnt. As much as you are trying to lie to ourself, women more than men need emotional connection and stability and not only sex

[@squidwardtentacles7144]

That's so responsible of you! Wish more people were like that.

[@nataliap.3519]

The editing on this channel just keeps getting better and better. I cackled so many times during this one. I love that we all have the same sense of humor

[@ricardaseven6083]

I don't knit but I do watch your videos with fairylights and tea and am happy about them and don't do anything bad afterwards :D Also I always really love your advice/AITA videos bc I feel like you approach problems in such a clever, genuine way that it would truly help everyone in the situation

[@Riya-gy6wh]

The editing made this video 1000x funnier. Joe is the ooga booga god.