You Asked Me For Advice. Here Are My Answers

[@elensevastou]

Dylan gaslighting us to believe 1. Every time he posts it's Monday 2. He's 20 years old

[@prettywhenicryx]

lmao when he said he was 20 i was like 🤭

[@AdamIshak01]

Nose ring! Don’t forget about the beloved nose ring 😂

[@Luca-zw9fc]

But he IS 20, right??

[@elensevastou]

@@Luca-zw9fc no he's 31

[@JJ-mr4vv]

@@Luca-zw9fc 😭he's 30/31

[@scottietrademark]

For all the cheating ones, if you feel like you can't trust them anymore then you need to leave. You being paranoid that it'll happen again is not good for either of you, you'll both feel like you're on rocky ground. If you can look past it and you both can heal, then stay. The main point is communication!

[@KateCat420]

You put it into words perfectly!!

[@spOOkytimes]

leave or go to couples counseling. obviously, the latter is a huge burden for the person who was cheated on, so I always understand if that person decides to leave.

[@a_gurl596]

Periodt

[@lucystoner]

Speak the truth!!!!

[@Fluffy_Wolverine]

PREACH

[@jorenaudjoseerenaud5514]

just wanna point out that when Dylan is being genuinely serious he actually gives rlly practical and helpful advice, for me specifically the time he said to just try to make yourself one percent happier every day in order to achieve a better life, I still find that advice helpful to this day

[@akshitamohite6383]

do you remember which video of his this was from

[@fashionablechangeling2003]

@@akshitamohite6383 kzbin.info/www/bejne/l6XClJZrj9GKg5I This one

[@Paula-ho9id]

When he said to try to embody in yourself those things that you admire about others so that you'll end up admiring yourself... I think that is a very interesting approach

[@lauramarie9863]

yes omg i loved that advice too it’s dear to my heart ❤️

[@akshitamohite6383]

@@amyb0621 thank you so much!

[@dramasbomin]

Rules for dating someone 10+ years older than you: 1. They don't have a pattern of dating younger people (you also probably shouldn't have a pattern of dating older) 2. You two met as adults (if they knew you when you were a minor and are now pursuing you, gross) 3. You have been living on your own and supporting yourself for at least a few years. 4. There's otherwise no power imbalance (they're not your boss, mentor, teacher, they don't make significantly more money than you) 5. If they seem to be excited or put extra attention on your age difference, run. 6. You two love and respect each other as equals, have commonalities, chemistry, and share interests and beliefs (this one applies to all relationships)

[@AmandaVieiraMamaesouCult]

That's fantastic

[@vanessarl8]

But that applies only to a certain age, it's different dating 10+ older when you are 18 than when you are 30 I assume you think so too but just saying bc it's a very important thing to add! And even so it's hard to not be a power imbalance or being in the same page...So I would say no to age gap dating in most cases tbh.

[@dramasbomin]

@@vanessarl8 Yes, of course! That's one of the reasons I have #3. It's not enough to just legally be an adult, but you should have the experience and responsibilities of one. So, not fresh out of highschool, or fresh out of college even. But someone who's been fully emersed in everyday adult life -for at least a few years. That age can range between people depending on life path, but I ultimately agree with Dylan that 25 is around the average age of knowing what's up.

[@vanessarl8]

@@dramasbomin30 seems even better but I agree! Thanks for listing out well everything :)

[@dawudj2286]

Actually fresh out of college is any age . Usually 21-100 . Fresh out of High school is usually 17-19.

[@piyuw2748]

Hey Dylan, can’t wait to read your book

[@hotdogwater9060]

Savage, dude, savage.

[@flwrsforvaña]

Yeah, alr bro.

[@piyuw2748]

@@hotdogwater9060 I’ll let you know if Dylan haunts me down

[@Rmikaelson]

You just went for it, I love it :D

[@captainhannie]

👏😂

[@hnichole]

To the girl deciding whether or not to become a sugar baby -- if you're doing it because you need the money and it doesn't conflict with your morals, then do what you gotta do to pay the bills. If you're trying to substitute a genuine connection and relationship with someone with paid companionship and, as Dylan said, justifying it with "well at least I made money in the end," then no, don't do it. You're just going to waste your time to wind up in the same spot you are now: disappointed and lonely. It just really depends on the motivation behind becoming a sugar baby.

[@supersexymegafoxyhot]

I also think it's the type of thing you have to make sure you're entering with your eyes wide open. I have seen this rise in promoting onlyfans and sugar babies as some easy lifestyle with easy money with a real downplaying of the fact that they are both in the sex industry. If you're ready for the potential future stigma, emotional repercussions, safety issues etc than all power to you! But it's an adult industry and i think this weird mentality of acting like sugar babies and onlyfans are somehow a separate thing from sex work and all the strange recruiting of barely legal kids on tiktok takes away from the fact that it's not something to enter into lightly.

[@happyjellycatsquid]

Yeah, exactly! I’ve made quite a bit of research on being a sugar baby as I’ve really been considering it for the past few years and one of the things that really baffled me when learning about it is how many young women go into it with their mind open, even sometimes downright looking for potential genuine relationships when it should be glaringly obvious to anyone that if someone pays for your time, you guys aren’t on a equal footing whatsoever. Like you’re basically their employee except they’re free to discard you as they wish because they aren’t legally bound to you in anyways. Also, something these people appear to neglect is the fact someone is literally willing to pay money for your time is a HUGE red flag anyways? What kind of fool with no life experience would you need to be to think that these people are doing it out of generosity ? Sugar parents are very often married; a lot of them have multiple sugar babies at the same time. Most of all, the reason why an attractive, rich and charming person, you know someone who should be really sought after, is still willing to pay people to be with them is because they aren’t buying companionship, they’re buying *convenient* companionship. The type where they choose when they are available or in the mood, where they define most boundaries, where they don’t actually have to put in the effort to make it work. Being a sugar baby is great for someone who wants to do it for money, but it’s not an intelligent way to date whatsoever.

[@ferninthewild8584]

I’ve heard so many horror stories about sugar babies, Honestly, rather be broke

[@masonyoung1502]

I would say that being a sugar baby for the money is generally not a good idea. Sex and romantic relationships in general are so closely ingrained in human emotion and social behavior that sex work like this can be very traumatizing and damaging to a persons psyche and ability to make meaningful relationships in the future. There is a reason why so many people who were in the sex industry anywhere from prostitution, only fans or pro porn due to choice or unfortunate circumstance often regret it and struggle to cope with it later in life. Moreover, it is very easy for these sorts of relationships to get manipulative or abusive.

[@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339]

Already the first one: she’s 17 and upset about being „alone her whole life“? Girl, you’re still a minor. Enjoy your life and live it to the fullest - don’t stress yourself over finding a guy. You’ll know when the timing is right.

[@jacklyntree7752]

My thoughts exactly. I'm sure it's becoming more common to not have been in a relationship by 17, let alone a good one that lasts like a young teen romcom

[@kerri7747]

I so agree, but it's so frustrating when the ppl around you have all experienced everything there is to experience romantically, and you haven't even held hands with a boy😭 I think it's just become so normal for teens 15+ to have gone through it all, or to live their 'teenage years to the fullest', and it's becom a sort of race against time. I think that's why she feels as though she'll be alone her whole life. Also, for some reason, once ppl hit their 20s they're seen as old (to teens)??? So yh, that doesn't help either.

[@catarinaoliveira6852]

@@kerri7747 I couldn't have said it better tbh I didn't used to panic about this*, but once I hit 20 I started feeling old. It sounds ridiculous, but I do feel like I'm outta time, like I'm too old to not have had some experiences, like I should have some stuff already worked out. The good thing is the cure for being paranoid is saying things out loud and realizing they are, indeed, ridiculous. *Edit : ok actually my lack of experience already bothered me throughout teen years. But I chilled out when I got to college, is what I mean. It helps seeing that people really all have such different backgrounds.

[@faceyl]

Literally what I was thinking..... Why a 17y/o is worrying about dating of all things they should be ACTUALLY worrying about lol (regardless of gender)..... School/work/social life, so many things to figure about yourself at that age as well, geez.

[@jacklyntree7752]

@@kerri7747 Oh no I get it. I'm 19 and I still haven't done anything with anyone (sex, kiss, hands), and I agree it's frustrating and sad when I think too much about it. But then I have to remind myself that I'm also in the same place I've grown up in, so the pool is kinda small, and like Dylan said young adults are pretty dumb. If it helps, I like to just push more love to myself when I'm feeling down from "no one likes me" thoughts.

[@fleurmal7648]

Regarding the 22 year old wanting to date the 36year old - I like what Dylan said about the life experience difference. Another red flag to watch out for with age gaps is that the older person has more power if they have more security (such as finances). A common situation with shady older men going for younger women tend to tell the woman "oh you don't need to work or get education cause I can take care of you", and if the girl goes along with it she ends up being trapped because she doesn't have education, job history, or her own finances to be able to leave him. So it's very important to approach age gaps cautiously when there is a power imbalance.

[@keelyshae427]

This! It's not inherently a bad thing, but definitely proceed with caution and make sure you have enough independence on your own first.

[@mkud1984]

Well... my boyfriend and me, we have an age gap of ten years. He was 24 when I met him and I was in an unhappy relationship. My former boyfriend wasn't happy either, yet waited for me to end the relationship, which I did. He met his now fiancée a couple of months later, we're still good friends and me and my younger boyfriend have been dating for four years now and talk about marriage. You'll never know how/if things work our if you don't give it a try.

[@terkamerka1]

​@@mkud1984 so you were 14 or 34 when yall met?

[@rivervixens06]

agreed, I personally don’t mind being in a relationship with a financial income above/under my partner. but I prefer if we had pretty much the same wealth, not too far from each other, ‘cause either u realize it or not, when it comes to being the richer one, you’d carry such a huge ego and control. same thing with age, ofc once you’re 18 you’re allowed to date anybody above 18 too.. the key is to be cautious. (ps. this came from someone who’s into older men)

[@kripolik]

@@terkamerka1 "me and my younger boyfriend" so she was 34

[@gracehoffpauir3456]

As a 22-year-old who is at the tail end of the college thing, I think that dating someone who is 14 years older could be a bit tricky. Like I get that they're both adults but one clearly has more life experience and has been in the world as a real adult, like taking care of taxes and paying rent and doing real-world adult stuff. A lot of the people I know who are just out of college haven't had that real-world experience and don't really understand a lot of the things that go into being an adult. There could be a power imbalance that the 36 could abuse or there could just be a difference in maturity. It really depends on the people involved.

[@filipa8626]

yeah agree with this and Dylan's answer as a 22F it's yellow flag you gotta take in consideration the person intentions, their dating patterns if they only date people way younger than them lowkey a red flag and i mean before 25-26 your prefrontal cortex is not even fully developped so big age gaps before 25 are lowkey a no or be cautious in my pov age is nothing but a number but be careful for sure cause there's a few buts and ifs

[@rayrayl.4087]

I agree. I definitely think the speaker should keep observe the 36-year old's behavior before committing to a relationship. But I don't think entering in to one is bad. Like you said, it depends on the people involved.

[@irissupercoolsy]

i'm 24 and i agree with everything you said!

[@mygwarai]

I think making sure someone is a good person applies to every relationship not just when a person is 14 years older but I do get what you are trying to say.

[@f9376]

i’m 21 with a 39 year old, works fine

[@rachel5399]

On the whole marriage before sex thing, if you do not feel the urge and impatience as your partner obviously does, and you can tell that sex and intimacy through sexual interactions is going to be a priority for them, and you're not feeling it, and vice versa, I'm going to tell y'all now that that is a huge problem that you have to address with your partner. Do not think that it is going to go away. Do not think that a lack of sexual attraction to you or your spouse is going to resolve itself. It will not be solved on your wedding night. It is going to be a huge reoccurring problem and its better if you figure it out now before you get way too involved and mess up your future and finances.

[@daphnekruemel]

Also, maybe try out stuff just with yourself to get a better feeling about what it is that you (don't) like. Might make it easier to make some decisions.

[@sheisaMachine]

It sure won't change. It can be for a variety of reasons and none will handle themselves quietly, or at all.

[@GrayCole96]

Yep one of the top reason relationships/marriages don’t work out is because of unresolved issues with intimacy. If one person is a horn dog and the other is just not it leaves someone either feeling unwanted or used. It won’t go away just because you have sex. You need to have an understanding of physical intimacy expectations BEFORE you get married. I waited to have sex with my husband until after marriage but we absolutely had several conversations about what each of us expected not only on our wedding night but also anytime after. It helped our relationship 100% and if you don’t feel comfortable having those conversations with your person they probably aren’t the right person for you.

[@chaotic7cam]

This is why it’s so unfortunate to date as an asexual. Apparently we’re like only 1% of the population. You don’t meet each other often if ever in RL. And long distance isn’t the same, you need that connection you get from meeting. I feel constantly like I’ll never find love…

[@cerisejaxel9636]

@@chaotic7cam I’m lucky to know two other aces aside from myself. They’re dating each other! I think I’d be fine being single forever personally, but I do have a slight curiosity about romantic relationships. I really hope you find what you’re looking for.

[@jaymenno405]

Dylan almost blurting out that he may or may not have, accidentally, almost dated someone he’s related to is a story time I need to hear even if it isn’t true 😂

[@anushkaa]

Man I was SHOOK

[@ghostpenguins3]

And with his reaction to the last one... Kinda feeling like it happened at a wedding. Does he have a sister? Lol

[@AdamIshak01]

LOL accidentally calling back to his secrets videos where he just yells for 18 mins “guys…ENOUGH WITH THE COUSINS! Stop! There are 3 billion people in the world that you don’t share DNA with! Jesus…” Dylan nearly made himself a hypocrite 😂

[@saeyoung6066]

Wait what when did he almost blurt out that one?

[@AdamIshak01]

@@saeyoung6066 it’s at the part where a female asked how to approach a hot guy when he’s sitting alone at a wedding, and at 14:55 Dylan says “make sure you’re not related first of all, I almost made that mista- I mean it’s very easy for other people to make that mistake, not me though!” ooooop 👀

[@maeeliz]

Heyyy I’m the girl who thought she was ace. (I was actually on a vacation with one of his sisters/one of my best friends when this was posted lol). Anyway my then-boyfriend and I broke up, but I am still close with his family. The break up was initially my idea but I think we’re both much happier now (at least I am 1000x happier lol). After two and a half years we both kind of stopped putting in effort and it fizzled out. Thank you to everyone for the advice, and thank you so much Dylan for putting me in your video. It was awesome and I appreciate your input. It helped me gain confidence and have the courage to break off something that wasn’t healthy for me. So thank you. 😁 (UPDATE) I actually recently realized that I’m not ace (of course there is nothing wrong with being ace, I totally can understand where ace people are coming from). The reason I thought I was ace because I had been with this guy since I was 17, he was my first ever relationship and I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal or okay what he was doing. I thought there was something wrong with me rather than him. He coerced me into doing s3xual things that I was not ready for, and that I had repeatedly told him I didn’t enjoy. I’m so much happier now without him. Know your worth. Don’t feel like you ever have to do anything if you are not comfortable with it. Even if the other person makes you feel bad for doing so. Screw them. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and your wishes and boundaries. Sending love to all of you, I hope you have a wonderful fulfilling life. Xoxo, Maegan

[@six944]

I'm so happy you are doing okay

[@Adam19811]

So you're not actually asex?

[@TadanoCandy]

I’m ace so your story hit close to home :p I once dated an allosexual guy but I had to leave him because I was way too repulsed by the idea of me having s3x (it’s like 30x worse than imagining your parents doing it in my mind). Our love languages were also too different. I’m with an ace guy now and we’re enjoying our time together 😊 I hope you can find someone that matches your s3xual needs as well

[@Adam19811]

@@TadanoCandy she said she THOUGHT she was asex

[@TadanoCandy]

@@Adam19811 yeah she didn’t specify whether she is or not, but in her problem it was clear she lacked s3xual attraction or s3x drive, or was s3x repulsed or something along those lines. My comment (largely my experience being in a relationship with someone that didn’t match my sex drive) applies for anyone with a similar experience even if they’re not ace :p

[@reaganbartels9993]

To the girl who thinks she might be ace: This is something you definitely need to explore and talk with your partner about. Asexuality isn't having low or no libido, it's not finding people sexually attractive. I grew up in a religious environment and I know a lot of people, particularly women, who questioned if they were ace when they were just out of touch with their bodies and sexualities due to the things they were taught. I don't know you or your experiences, but if that's a factor, it's worth considering. Figuring out your sexuality is hard and hope you have people who will walk with you through that process and I hope your partner is one of them. And if you do decide you're just not interested in sex, I hope your partner is content with that.

[@piroskavasarhelyi6124]

I agree, this is 100% a thing you should think about. Asexuality is not well known and oh boy it can get complicated(or at least it was for me) and if you don't enjoy what you guys are doing, tell him! It is super important! There is no shame in not feeling it. I learned that the hard way. I thought I should enjoy "smooch and stuff" since: everyone else likes it. Right? 😆 Don't force yourself, if you don't like it, you don't like it. You might not even be ace, maybe you just don't enjoy something, and other stuff you will find pleasurable.

[@quantummidget]

@@piroskavasarhelyi6124 don't force yourself, but that being said, if you genuinely care about your partner, I feel like sex shouldn't be entirely off the cards. Sometimes in a relationship you have to do something you don't enjoy to make your partner happy, and I think this applies to sex too. It doesn't need to be commonplace, but maybe every couple months or something you have sex. You might not take pleasure from the act, but you can take pleasure knowing how happy you made your partner. My friend dated an asexual girl as the first proper relationship of his adult life, and I was somewhat sad to discover that after over a year of dating, they'd never had sex. To me, it just feels kinda selfish. Now if you're actively repulsed by sex, then you shouldn't do something that makes you miserable, but try talking to your partner and finding some middle ground so you can still meet them somewhere.

[@eliotsholmes]

in addition, i am asexual, and i did a lot of extra research into figuring out if i was on the ace spectrum or asexual, so i highly recommend doing research into different terms and labels, because while you might not be ace, there are a lot of labels that might fit you better. i wish you well on your journey and i hope it goes well

[@ellabiddy4741]

@@quantummidget I think the only thing that would be selfish or wrong for someone that’s asexual to do is just say “not yet” over and over. If someone is up front with their parter the first time sex is initiated like “I’m asexual I don’t want to have sex” then it’s up to their partner to decide whether or not they wanna stay

[@IceQueen975]

Plus, women's libido changes *all the time*. It spikes during your period, and actually decreases when you're single for a long while and increases once you're with someone. A lot of women who have been flying solo for a long while think they're ace because of this and the inverse happens; a lot of ace women think they just "have not found the one" while actively dating. ALSO. Inexperience WILL lower your eagerness. I would know... >.> Because I don't know wtf to do and I'm afraid I'll fuck up or I won't like it and it makes such a big mental block and then you can't get in the mood. Yeaaaah....

[@chloetaterka121]

regarding the sugar baby one, i completely agree that it sounds like she's trying to guarantee a way to be in a relationship but have compensation, and her reasoning being that "guys her age are immature" raises so many alarms to me. most ppl get in trouble with relationships when they expect them to be better than a previous one or even attempt to mold the relationship to their liking rather than just raising their standards and waiting for the right situation to come. when it's the right scenario you don't have to seek it out, it finds you. dealing with immature guys her age doesn't mean the right guy is some 40 year old sugar daddy, it just means that those immature guys were not the right ones for her.

[@MissieK]

also becoming a SB just because guys my age are immature is not a good way. SB is not a romantic interest usually. You won't be woman number 1 in most of the times. I fear like the person writing this thought of it as being paid to date someone and...it's not that simple

[@-gohu-]

sounds to me like the OP is as immature as the guys she doesn't wanna date.

[@chloetaterka121]

@@MissieK no fr, I don’t think she understands that she’s not gonna be the sole focus of her sugar daddies either. i don’t like to assume but she sounds like the kind of girl who always needs to be in a relationship and always needs that attention but bc of that she doesn’t have any standards. yet she wonders why she always gets hurt or deals w guys she doesn’t like. those girls always get into trouble. but i think her friends had the right concerns but the wrong approach in calling her a slut. what she’s doing is wrong but it’s not something to insult her for either.

[@MissieK]

@@chloetaterka121 I think in her head she has like SB is a relationship with money with an older guy and he will take care of me. She doesn't know what SB means and that he will pay but you will give something and that something is not always fun and nice and of course...it is not dating. Yet she acts like it is. Deeply problematic to be honest and wrong way to see it and I am worried she might end up worse mentally if she had bad experiences too

[@vaishnavisingh9244]

I think (as someone who is around her age) that she is taking fictional content as real. Being a SB isn't as depicted in movies/books/stories, it's not as glamourous and will NOT end in a happy ending 9 times out of 10. I also think she have a fragile support system, if her friends are willing to call her slut so outwardly then there is something else going on.

[@screamingMouse411]

At this point, I think people are submitting stories about incest to mess with Dylan. There cannot be this amount of Dylan's fanbase smashing their siblings 🤦‍♀️

[@jadeshepherd8627]

Hope so 🤣

[@KateCat420]

Maybe it started with 1 real weird situation, then everyone saw how much it concerned Dylan and was like 'let's just go with it'

[@giulia7694]

LOL

[@Pretty_Unlucky]

You'd be surprised... I've had unsavoury situations with family members before, and I know plenty of people who have as well, buuuuut usually it's a nonconsensual sort of situation. So these" I wanna marry my sister whom I have been hooking up with" is bizarre.

[@phuck8627]

It's estimated that about 5% of adults are involved in incest relationships worldwide I think so it's actually kinda common. That's not even counting minors and most incest is non consensual involving minors.

[@anys2656]

that whole “he cheated, it was a while back and we were young and he changed a lot but now i’m realizing that i can’t get past the fact that he once did cheat what should i do?” thing depends on the person's ability to forgive tbh, if it still bugs you three years after the fact i think you should definitely let it go and move on

[@milenayashkina8641]

I don't think necessarily letting it go, but taking a step back and assessing the relationship would be beneficial. Like going on a break or leaving things open ended and learning to live with yourself again kinda puts things into perspective whether or not your partner was the right fit. From there, time definitely tells us everything we need to know.

[@cherrytomato7711]

yeah i agree . he might have changed , but some things are hard to forgive completely even if you want to so badly . it defo needs to be talked about or else she'll keep thinking about it .

[@Sara-zl5hc]

Hey dylan, I look upto you for how dedicated you have been about writing your book and how constantly you update us about how the writing is going. Big fan

[@immuse]

Sara, ily

[@viviandowino4459]

Sarah, I adore you

[@jio5680]

🤣🤣🤣

[@footgoblin]

Now watch him block you lol

[@mylene6425]

I cannot with you😂😂

[@kiliinstinct165]

As an asexual, i fully believe you were correct in telling them to talk with their partner. It is possible for an ace and an allosexual to work but it takes communication and understanding each others boundaries. In my own relationship, me and my partner do not do anything under the clothes and they are okay with that. We found other things to do for them to feel they're getting the attention they need. and anything more than that, they deal with it themselves. It works for us and we're happy. But we continue to talk about it and check up on each other. If you're partner can't communicate or doesnt respect your boundaries then you need to leave that relationship. its a partnership, not a service. You dont just lay back and serve their whims. Thats tramautic.

[@Cr0ut0n]

100% agree. The boundaries will look different in different relationships, so there’s no go-to way to handle it other than communicate and find what works for your relationship specifically c: I’m gray ace and my partner is hypersexual, and we’ve found an arrangement that works for us 👍🏼

[@Lotan_]

Plus, asexual men exist so they could always look for potential partners in that demographic. Would help cut out a lot of the trouble if they're both on the same page from the get go.

[@sarascarpati887]

What is a allosexual

[@Lotan_]

@@sarascarpati887 Opposite of asexuality.

[@kiliinstinct165]

@@sarascarpati887 what is said above. It's just the term for those who do experience sexual attraction. That's all.

[@quinntribolet6593]

My parents are 13 years apart and they met around the same time those guys did (22/23F & 35/36) and they've been together for for 31 years, (married 24 years). I think it depends on the maturity level of the people involved.

[@kimkardashi-un2.051]

Unfortunately, most men aren't mature...

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

The big issue I think is. If the older one met the younger one at an age under 18 I'm automatically not ok with it no matter what excuses there may be

[@quinntribolet6593]

@@friendlyneigborhoodbean I agree with that, but that's not this situation and I don't think it's the person in the videos situation either

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

@@quinntribolet6593 Yeah I know. I just added that

[@AndyyWithAY]

People also grew up a lot faster 31 years ago.

[@pilar8323]

Telling a woman who doesn't want to have sex that she needs to get over it and serve her husband is such bullshit, and the same goes for men with low or non-existent libidos. No one owes sex to anyone, but you do owe your partner the truth about your feelings and your limits. For anyone in that situation, if you're not really sure if you like sex or not, I think it's a good idea to try it once (after discussing it with your partner so they know what to expect). If you're sure you don't want to have sex, then your partner needs to take some time and decide if that's something they can really accept without ending up resenting you or trying to change your mind. Having relationships with incompatible libidos aren't necessarily doomed, but they are tricky and can easily lead to resentment and hurt feelings if you aren't 100% honest about your limits.

[@mike-mz6yz]

idk about that....really our only purpose in the world is to reproduce the next generation. yeah you dont owe your partner sex, but you owe the species two kids....we need support when we retire after all.

[@Ameowthyst]

I have unsolicited advice for that 22 y/o @ 3:17! Having had a long term relationship with a man 13 years older than me when I was 21, I think you should approach your decision very, very carefully and consider what you want to happen in your life both short term and long term. Tldr is that I agree with Dylan; even though when we're 22 we feel like 100% grown adults, there's so much maturing and learning that goes on throughout the rest of your twenties. Odds are that the two of you currently have some different life goals, which could be a deal breaker for a relationship. If you choose to get into a relationship with him, just make sure you know what you want out of life and assess whether a relationship with him will cause you to unhealthily compromise or be beneficial in the long run.

[@nicolem3215]

Are you still in that relationship? I'm 24 dating a 38 year old, we met when I was 22 and him 36. He'd been divorced for 0ver a year and hadn't dated anyone for a long time. When we first went out I thought he was 30 at most and I thought he was I was 28 so in our minds that was a healthy age gap and we got along so well that you wouldn't guess there was a 14 year age gap between us until we found out a bit later. It was shocking but at that point we already liked each other too much to worry about that. Everything has been great. Now though, it seems he's staring to realise that we might not want the same things for our future but we havent really talked about where we want things to go especially since it began very casually and it gradually became serious and now we've found ourselves in a difficult place where we love each other but also the age gap weighs heavily on both our minds and breaking up maybe the right thing to do for the greater good. Im conflicted because I think we are in a good place and we can really make it last.

[@Ameowthyst]

@@nicolem3215 No I'm not; we desired different timelines when it came to starting a family and could never come to a compromise on it. I think you already identified what you need to do at some point before things progress even further: talk it out. I always recommend writing your thoughts out and really think about what you want for your future. Identify what you absolutely will not compromise on and the things that you're flexible with (I'm sure there's some good lists out there with potential questions, but topics related to lifestyle, parenting, finances, ideology etc.). Sorting out your own thoughts and feelings is important in order to have a productive chat about the future with your partner imho. I will say I'm a big believer in trusting your instincts, but that doesn't mean you have to immediately break up if that's your instinct. Take your time so that you don't make an impulsive decision you regret later. Also, the last thing I want to mention is that it's ok to be in love but recognize the need to end a relationship. It can hurt a lot but that type of relationship may be in your life to help you learn and grow. That's all just based on my experience though and I'm some rando on the internet so make of it what you will lol. Good luck! 💜

[@lucystoner]

I too was in a long term thing starting when I was 21 & he was 34. Even though we were personality compatible, we weren't life compatible. I wouldn't recommend it to people.

[@StarryRoses]

Another thing to consider is that if it's really long term, he's going to be ready to retire at 65 and you're still going to have to work for 14 years while he's out enjoying being free. I mean maybe not, but it's highly likely.

[@nicolem3215]

@@Ameowthyst thank you

[@diaplotical]

for the 22 year old interested in her 36 year old coworker please beware, you should take pause at the age gap, but also the fact that you two work together. It puts you in a dangerous power imbalance if he’s your superior.

[@Lotan_]

Yeah, even when there's no power dynamic, workplace romances can be a bit of a mess worth avoiding.

[@super_nova285]

Idk about the Sugar Baby one because in my opinion sex work isn’t romance it’s literally a business transaction, don’t confuse the gifts that you’d receive with a genuine connection. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sabreen16]

yeah it depends if they want a sugar daddy more for the financial aspect or if it's like dylan said, with them looking for an actual relationship in sugar daddies to emotionally protect themself. if it's just for the money, i think they should definitely go for it (while still being safe) and screw their friends for the slut shaming. if it's to protect them emotionally, then i agree with dylan (except what he said about being a sugar baby for the rest of your life, because who cares, it's not something to be ashamed of)

[@BartimaeusTrilogyFan]

This. Her motivation is coming from an unhealthy place. I think given she seems to already have been wounded by guys her age in the past, she may be especially vulnerable to being hurt in this kind of dynamic, not only emotionally but via the power dynamics involved as well.

[@Hiphop618]

Question: if prostitution and stripping is so Empowering (tm) for women, why do feminists now use "sex work" as a euphemism?

[@BartimaeusTrilogyFan]

@@Hiphop618 Well, I think a primary reason is the term sex work encompasses more avenues?

[@fatimaamellouk1686]

@@Hiphop618 Bc "Sex work" as a more inclusive term of all the new forms of sexual services, prostitution and stripping are just a category within the term. And this is a side note but prostitution and stripping aren't considered empowering in feminism. The later only strives to remove the shame and reveal the abusive condition of the sex job market.

[@lillyharris9562]

The best advice I’ve ever heard about age gaps is “if it’s weird it’s weird and if it’s not weird it’s not” it sounds so simple but it’s so true. A large age gap is only weird if it’s weird!

[@f9376]

Love that, and so true. I am in an 18 year age gap relationship, and everyone online is so quick to say it's unhealthy and grooming. Meanwhile, our relationship is healthier than most people in relationships with similar ages. Our friends and families are all incredibly supportive, and we are both happy. True love is so incredibly rare, as long as you are both consenting adults with pure intentions, I really do not see the harm.

[@Sagacypher]

@@f9376 What are your ages

[@f9376]

@@Sagacypher 21 and 39

[@fedem14]

@@f9376 it does seem weird cause he's a full grown adult, but if it works for you then...ok i guess

[@klaraxkat_k6454]

@@f9376 I've read your comments on another thread and my relationship has so many parallels with yours! 21F (22 next month) and he's 38M. We met at work almost 3 years ago now, he thought I was older and I thought he was younger based on looks and how we carried ourselves. So from the get go I never felt uncomfortable, like I found it hard to comprehend our age gap because I didn't feel it at all. His lifestyle is quite strict and disciplined due to his life experiences which has made him self-reflect and live his life completely differently than he used to, whereas I like structure and have these certain rules in my head which I need to live by so I'm not anxious about ruining my health or productivity with work and study, so even though I don't have the same life experiences, due to his strict nature and my anal retentiveness it works 😂 Also, I think because he doesn't have kids that makes a big difference. If he had experience being a parent I would probably feel out of my depth being in such a relationship with no experience being a parent myself. But we're honestly the most compatible people for each other that we've ever met, and we share a lot of the same values and vision of our future together so we're working towards a shared goal which is very important. No one in our families have any reservations, my mum loves him! I get on well with guys my age because I'm easygoing (despite being anally retentive 😂) but I'm not attracted to their value system, I'm obsessed with long-term consequences, e.g., I want to do everything in my power so I don't age prematurely, have my health decline and lose my independence, or become financially unstable. Another example, generally speaking guys my age are obsessed with sex, and when I was single I couldn't enjoy it as much because I would get paranoid about getting pregnant (no matter how much precaution is used). Basically the guys I've met who are my age, tend to do things because they want to without regard for the long-term consequence, and I'm just not attracted to that. And I've never realised that until I met my current bf and now I have these several traits and such to compare guys my age to. I've never been interested in a relationship until I met him, and I realised that it's because I've never met anyone who's 'husband material' and never knew I would enjoy a partnership with someone who is 'husband material'. I'd say that guys my age are still a boy at heart, and I'm attracted to men, but my bf still has some of his boy qualities such as he likes video games, which makes the age gap feel nonexistent because there's that man in him which I'm drawn to that knows how to have a healthy relationship (meet eachothers needs) but there's also that playful, boy side to him so I don't feel a generational disconnect with him/ feel like I'm with an old man 😂 Though I would still agree with people saying to be cautious cuz of the potential power imbalance, whether that's due to finances or bad intentions. When it's two people who come together, who are attracted to eachother, value eachother and bring out the best in eachother it's a beautiful thing regardless of age, but if it's like a fetish then yeah it definitely can be predatory. I think it really depends on the individuals, and how (financially) independent the younger person is. The younger person needs to be able to take care of themselves.

[@adeleathian]

the editing in this video is literally so good, great job joe 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾

[@SR-zp4je]

For the dude with the cheating wife: COUNSELLING. If your wife is amenable to it that is. Even then, forgiveness and reconciliation are different processes and they take time. She has to be fully repentant if you're going to rebuild. Also, find your people.You will need support.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I’ve missed this channel so much. I missed Dylan’s cute face but more than that, I missed the comments which are just hilarious!

[@flwrsforvaña]

"Dylan's cute face" ayoooooo chill 💀💀💀

[@babyhippo4121]

@@flwrsforvaña where is the lie though lmaoo 😭😭

[@titashadhikary5185]

Oi mate, u in love?

[@karishmachaudhary9953]

@@titashadhikary5185 WHO WOULDN'T BE IN LOVE WITH THIS CUTESY-ASS BAMBOO STICK??

[@donkeykong3628]

@@flwrsforvaña 😩🥵🥵

[@aubriannanoelle]

I love how casually Dylan seem to actually really understand the ace community. Like, 5 years ago when my husband and I first started seeing each other, his advice would've really helped me. My husband is very supportive of my asexuality and we have a very happy marriage because we communicated early on and I love that Dylan's advice was just that. Communicate and figure put what you want. Because it's so true!

[@dorothearoshanne6190]

he should promote his episode on "welcome to the oc, bitches" very proud of dylan (loved that he featured his nose ring, age, and legit college experience in the vid)

[@MsPoliteRants]

“What happens if I like a guy who I’ve already friendzoned?” This happened to me. We have now been married 5 years.

[@annachase6036]

A good relationship needs friendship at the base. Glad it worked out for you guys

[@LunaWitcherArt]

Turns out being ACTUALLY friends can be a great way for someone to maybe develop real feelings for you, who knew??? (sarcasm)

[@Naahi95]

This is friends to lovers at its finest

[@mywadi]

I'd argue if a person cited you friend zoning them prior to pursuing a relationship as a reason for them to reject you, you dodged a bullet. That's a very "all or nothing", "you're either with me or against me", shitty attitude to have in a relationship that so easily can lead to manipulation and abuse.

[@B1519-k4u]

@@mywadi if you have feelings for somebody and they dont have the same feelings or you, distancing yoursélf helps you deal with it. (I am not quite sure I understood your comment correctly because of the language barrier.)

[@ennie9406]

I personally can't stomach being with a cheater, for my own peace of mind. Like I know i'd constantly think about the possibility of it happening again, especially if it happened more than once like that person said. I can forgive, but that relationship is done lol.

[@dhairiyasundar1285]

Exactly. Even if they realise their fault. And they never wanna do it again. I could never stomach it either. The fact that they did it to me once is enough to give me trust issues for life. I have a best friend who was ready to over look that as well in an already messed up relationship. He then proceeded to walk all over her. And then cheated again. That's when she learnt the lesson. Traumatized for life. :/

[@delilahgreen5946]

The way that I continuously let this man gaslight me into believing that he's 20 years old is crazy. Like every time he says it I take 30 seconds and pause like "wow he's way younger then I thought". EVERY TIME.

[@erikapotgieter2221]

10:20 that fucking giggle after saying "with you and not some other dude" is why we love Dylan. He's such a dork.

[@Sharie_mabari]

The 22F is not even a question to me at all. This man is pushing 40. She's just starting her life as an adult and he has been one for 18 whole years. That's just a nope to me. And before you all comment that your aunt/mother/grandmother/you has a lovely relationship and have a 14 year old age gap -- okay. That's great for them! Remember that times have changed as well. These kinds of relationships often don't work well and there is a significant power difference between a person that age and a much younger person. Economical power, life experience, etc. it's just nowhere near similar. In an ideal relationship you would be equals, not have one be so much more ahead in life than the other. Age gaps that large can work, but they are more likely to if it's between two people who have already been established adults for a while, who match in maturity and where they're at in life -- more or less. At what ages the relationship starts makes a significant difference in likelihood to work out from what I can tell! That doesn't mean they all fail if they start at a young age for one partner, but you do see plenty of stories online where an issue pops up in immaturity etc. What sort of grown adult likes someone who's barely past their teens anyway? Those are kids to me! Like the poster said it's already a little strange if a guy that age likes her, so I'd just tell her to not go for it and take some distance from this man.

[@genesiscda4847]

You give solid relationship advice Dylan! I married my high school sweetheart. He is the only guy I’ve ever dated and I’m the only girl he’s ever dated. A lot of people think that means we didn’t explore our options but we are absolute best friends and we love each other so much. We’ve been together 12 years altogether, married back in 2018 and I’m pregnant with our first child. I wish all of you who are looking for great relationships the best of luck! Your person is out there somewhere!

[@Hiphop618]

I'm a 31 year-old bitter hag who's never had a boyfriend and I'm tired of people who met the uwu Love of Their Life in their teens or 20's (and never had to struggle with the hell that is dating) looking into their crystal ball and telling us that our person exists 😅 Sometimes I think about the unfairness of how easy it's been for some people to find their spouse while many, many, many others are going through hell and back to find one

[@missanonymus585]

@@Hiphop618 I'm respectfully laughing, I'm sorry 😅😅😅. Well I've been 6 yrs with any relationship. I kinda understand, cause I too keep wondering how are they childhood sweetheart? 31yrs too It doesn't help now that I'm watching non stop CDRAMAS

[@Baenstelker]

So sweet! You made me smile, thank you!

[@irissupercoolsy]

For the girl with confidence issues: I realized that people will like you more if you look confident. Even people that hate you, will hate you more if you look insecure. So just fake it haha. So shoulders back and go!

[@raha2999]

dylan's therapist era is BACK!!

[@faceyl]

"Serve your partner" LOL thank god my parents never raised me in that way, I often forget how many people need to deal with that sort of thing......

[@fran-sp9oq]

looking through the chapter titles and im already scared for “im in love… with my sibling” dylan how do you attract these people to your account

[@MorganaR9135]

My parents were 14 years apart and let me tell you, they had constant issues with being at different points in their lives. One of my friends has parents that are also 14 years apart. They never see eye to eye. They don’t even understand each other’s slang. Both marriages ended in divorce. I hear 14 years apart and I cringe…. Stick to people a little closer to your age. That’s my 2 cents.

[@f9376]

Depends on the people involved. I am in an 18 year age gap relationship and we are both very similar and almost always see eye to eye. I am more mature, and he is more youthful and young. We meet in the middle and we have so many of the same interests.. we actually never notice the age difference. It's definitely not for everyone, but it's also not automatically a bad thing.

[@mike-mz6yz]

my aunt and uncle were almost 20 years apart and had one child together and stayed together till he died after like 30 years together. I really liked him, but have clear memories of staying over and him getting angry and just leaving. I also lived down the street from them for 15 years growing up and only saw his first family once. (he had two kids with his first wife) Basically what im saying is they loved each other but I would never want to see someone I cared about in that kind of relationship. The older partner is always going to be controlling the relationship for one thing.

[@f9376]

@@mike-mz6yz You witnessed an age gap relationship where the older partner was controlling, so that means all age gap relationships are controlling? Not sure how that logic works.

[@ferninthewild8584]

@@f9376 it might be fine now, but I honestly think it might be an issue once he starts pushing elderly…

[@f9376]

@@ferninthewild8584 You're entitled to your opinion

[@melodies-in-my-head8252]

the 22 year old who friendzoned an older guy... The age thing doesn't bother me as much as the fact that they work together. I'd be more fearful of potential use of power dynamics or shaming/infantilizing in the workplace after a relationship is set up. How much the 22 year old cares about their job is also another factor. I don't want to immediately look to an extreme situation, but this is a very real possibility. If she thinks it worth it to take a chance, go for it. If you're both mature enough it shouldn't effect your friendship (unless something gets really messy). She just needs to weigh all factors of her situation before she decides yes or no. There's nothing wrong with the age gap in the relationship, in my opinion, it's just about the maturity and personality of both people.

[@SpellCheckBot]

9:21 great advice man. the "don't let her think she can walk all over you" part was really based.

[@rileynicole1967]

this was long-overdue 😂

[@kristina1097]

9:15 no matter how much I love someone, if they cheat, I would never be able to trust them again. That fear would always be lingering in the back of my mind. So I would end things. But that’s just me

[@unknowable2617]

9:16 I know several cheaters- relatives, colleagues, friends. I personally don't think they change. None of the cheaters I know changed. They got better at hiding it and their spouse/partner somehow thinks they've made it through. Breaks my heart.

[@mike-mz6yz]

yes they do! once they are in a relationship they are committed to and they are totally in love with their partner, then they find out that partner has been cheating on them for months. Only then can they really have a hope of changing.

[@unknowable2617]

@@mike-mz6yz I don't know. I have yet to meet one who has changed after they have been caught. After a few months/years, they are right back at it. Based on my experience, I would never stay with someone who cheated on me. Also people around you won't feel the need to let you know if your partner cheats again. They'll just leave you to your delusion. Yeah... I won't stay on the off chance the person am with is the exception to the rule.

[@mike-mz6yz]

@@unknowable2617 I wouldn't either. My point was just that the only way they might change is if they experience what its like to be the one cheated on. I would never stay with someone who cheated, I just wouldn't want to be In a relationship with no trust.

[@unknowable2617]

@@mike-mz6yz Ah! My bad. I misunderstood. Okay that's possible.

[@shannonceleste5557]

As a psychology major- I’m with ya on the age gap thing. Before the age of ~25 people are still in their less matured, less lived experience mind. Which is fine! And fun! But dating someone 10+ years older at that age imo isn’t an even playing field, for either party involved. Obviously to each their own but there’s something icky about someone pushing 40 with someone fresh out of college or high school

[@kiwigott4322]

Dylan really is the most reliable human to upload consistently, just as much as my brother when I leave my chips in the kitchen

[@WyntrBry]

The second person.. I feel so much for you. I was cheated on for 7 months because I was in denial and naive.. just gave all my trust to someone who didn’t deserve it. Don’t let it go on, you will cause yourself so much pain in the long run. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that. Don’t let them take your support group from you, and really start talking to friends/family you can. Don’t let them cut you off, or gaslight you. I wish you luck ❤️

[@Yesitsmedaphne]

Definitely the best person to ask for life advice 😂

[@jkcatsmeow5225]

to the asexual in question 7 my best advice is too explore safe queer spaces, even if its just online. i also realized i was asexual recently (in the past two years) and community has been so helpful for me to see that my feelings are real and has given me confidence and pride in my sexuality. and guess what? i have a wonderful boyfriend i met in a local queer space (he's bi) and even tho he's not ace, he gets me- I've never once in our entire relationship felt pressure to have s*x! so people like that do exist and you deserve it too!! so if/when you feel comfortable in yourself i suggest you talk to your partner and if he cant be that person for you then find someone who can. you are not broken, i promise.

[@faceyl]

Sweet comment :) and yes! There's room and spaces and most importantly PEOPLE out here that will understand and respect that. (if that person ends up identifying as Acespec ofc)

[@chaotic7cam]

This might be too personal to ask, but how do you deal with the whole he’s not asexual thing? Like eventually he’ll want sex, even if it’s not from you. Are you in an open relationship? Have you talked it out for making the relationship last? I just ask because I’m always afraid they’ll leave me for someone else who can obviously provide them with sex. Like how can it last?

[@jkcatsmeow5225]

@@chaotic7cam it’s not too personal and honestly I just made it clear at the beginning of our relationship that I might NEVER be ready for that- I might NEVER want s*x and he told me he’s fine with that, he said that I’m worth more than “an org*sm” (his words not mine). I love him and I trust him so I choose to believe him. I know that’s not a guarantee but I can’t see the future and I see no point waiting for something bad to happen. I’m really sorry you feel that anxiety tho because I do understand that’s very valid and real doubt to have. I really hope one day you find someone who makes you believe them. Because believe me there is a LOT more to a relationship than s*x and your worth more than that.

[@chaotic7cam]

@@jkcatsmeow5225 thank you for replying as well as your reassurance.

[@Hiphop618]

@@jkcatsmeow5225 why are you censoring words in your comment

[@pia1945]

I saw on the internet once that to tell if your partner's old enough mentally, you have to get the age of the older partner, divide it by 2 and add 7; that's the minimum age of someone you can date! There's no science behind it but i think it's a good rule of thumb? So if someone's 36, 36/2 + 7 is 25. If you're 16, 16/2 + 7 is 15. It makes sense to me.

[@TheMindofagenius1]

So I'm 28, that means the youngest I could be with is 21..... yeah it might be just me but that doesn't sound right to me o_o

[@chrisisannoying3499]

@@TheMindofagenius1 do you want to go younger?

[@pia1945]

@@TheMindofagenius1 I see it more of a borderline so that’s the VERY youngest you could date! Like if you don’t want to date a 21 yo that’s up to you :/

[@xyznightwing]

@@TheMindofagenius1 Haha, my 21 yo cousin just got married and her husband is 28

[@LunaWitcherArt]

@@TheMindofagenius1 just date older then lol you don't HAVE to date a 21yo, but with this rule you absolutely cannot date someone younger than 21yo at 28 lol

[@bryceundercover9447]

“You’re only four kids short of having a baseball team” The dudes 24, at this rate he could fill up the stands😂

[@peninak3610]

As someone who has been waiting for marriage, I think I can say something about the girl who thinks she might be ace. I've been there. And at this point I know I'm not. It's such a messy place, being with someone you love and want to marry, and you don't really enjoy sexy time with them, as far as your both willing to take it. I've definitely been there. But over the years I've played around with that feeling, challenged it, observed it, and I now know I'm not ace, even though I haven't yet done the deed. It's something I believe people who don't wait for marriage can't grasp, and I don't think the conclusion that you're ace should be taken lightly. Keep exploring and observing, and challenging it. I'm not saying ace is bad, I'm saying it's not necessarily what you are, and if you aren't yet sure don't jump to conclusions.

[@MissFelice]

You give such genuine advice while still mixing in the humor and making it fun to watch. Truthfully, that balance of keen observation and lightheartedness is why all your videos are so great.

[@melanietesfa]

Now we have been waiting no STARVING for this video for MONTHS Dylan so thank u

[@nicoleadel]

When I was 21, I briefly dated someone 16 years older than me. Didn't work out, don't recommend it. In hindsight, I think it is a bit of a red flag that someone can't connect with a person their own age.

[@ToastyJunebugs]

As far as the 'waiting til marriage to smoosh' girl... it might be unenjoyable to think about bc the girl has been told her entire life that sex will make her worthless and it's evil and if it happens (for any reason - consensual or not) its her fault. Of course, I'm basing this answer off of growing up Baptist, myself. Growing up hearing that shit at least once a week has a lasting effect.

[@KaitlynPawl]

to the girl who’s boyfriend cheated on her with her friend- this happened to me in high school and it was the most painful thing that could’ve happened to me at that point. what you learn from that is that your boyfriend can’t be trusted and neither can your friend, and NEITHER can your boyfriends friend. cut them ALL off and make new friends. it sucks big time but it’s the only possible way for you to deal with all of the feelings that are gonna come up

[@ember13dp]

16:01 I genuinely thought he was just gonna say, "Don't go to college it's a scam."

[@paulinarestrepo15]

For the girl who is apprehensive to get into a relationship with a man 14 year's older than her... Don't. Not because of the age gap, but because of the power imbalance. And I do think it's kinda sus when someone older seeks someone who is just beginning to experience adult life (because of manipulation and such).

[@floof_croissant]

For the second one: People have different boundaries when it comes to cheating (example: some might see hugging as cheating while others might only see it as friendly). So, it's important for you to communicate what your comfort levels are and make sure that you (generally) have the same values. In my opinion, it was very manipulative for him to say that you're overreacting AND claim that open relationships are common when 1) it isn't and 2) it isn't the kind of relationship that you want. If you aren't comfortable with how he's acting, then end it.

[@briarihallow]

For the 22 yo - as someone who has been through that gamut, the age gap when you’re that young can create a power dynamic that isn’t healthy. The 35 yo has a lot more experience in life, work, exposure to things, romance/sex, etc and that can be used against you to control/gaslight you. At 21 I dated a 32 year old and looking back I think it’s really odd he even considered dating me. I had little experience to draw on and contribute to the big “adult” parts of life. I’m 30 now, and my partner is 11 years older than me. We’ve both been through hard relationships, toxic relationships, therapy, have established our finances, social circles, and our sense of SELF. We know our flaws, we know our boundaries. At 22 you still don’t have a solid sense of self, even if you feel you’ve been the same your entire life. I’m still relatively the same as I was, but I’m much more sure of myself, secure in my emotions and thoughts, etc. My partner and I have a healthy relationship and have learned from our experiences how to communicate with each other, how to actually listen and empathize, and we respect each other. At this age, it doesn’t feel like an age gap. But that isn’t to say a gap at that age makes a difference. You could be incredibly ready to meet this person on their level and vice versa, you might be more mature or him less mature, you might meet someone who is good, and genuine, and kind. It depends on how it feels. If you constantly feel like “oh he’s older” than maybe right now this person is too old for you to enter a relationship ship with. He equally could feel “oh she’s much younger” and same same. Coworkers though - tricky. Haven’t even come close to that scenario so no anecdotes there. TL;DR - if you FEEL the age gap, skip the age gap.

[@ZooieMcChewie]

I was 18 when I dated a man 12 years older than me. He is a great friend to me and we’re actually roommates now, however, the dynamic between us was really awkward. He had far more life experience than I did and our conversation felt more like “I know what I’m doing so sit down and listen.” I have been on my own since 14. The only thing I didn’t pay for was a house and food (sometimes) I paid for my essential needs such as body cleaning products, clothes, school things, etc. So it was really frustrating because he made me feel like I haven’t worked hard for where I’m at. He ended up becoming a good friend of mine like I said but I totally agree about age gaps being more comfortable when you get older. It was really awkward and uncomfortable most times so I 100% agree. Wait til out of college to date like 10+ years apart. My parents are 10 years apart but I’m parents were 30 and 40 years old when they met, they had plenty of life experience to not make it feel like you are dating someone who is not in the same decade.

[@nckanime3994]

About the ones with the cheating partners/spouses ... I grew up in a home with a dad who was a repeat cheater. My mom stayed with him, through multiple instances of cheating, now for almost 35 years ... He didn't really "reform" until his cheating habits destroyed his career and our family's finances (I won't get into details, but I was 17 when this happened and it was rough). So, saying this to state that I've seen a cheater change, but only after he hit a brick wall so hard that it destroyed his and his family's life... and that's why I approach relationships with a zero tolerance policy when it comes to cheating. So stay with a cheater if you think you can deal with the fallout when it eventually hits... because it will always hit.

[@03bookbooksbook59]

yep there are so many downfalls in the end not only too the person who stays but usually other people :/ enabling truly horrible behavior in the end especially if you have a family excusing only ends up hurting innocent people when it all falls down... like in my case my dad had serious anger management/control issues he was very mean unprovoked any little thing could set him off... little did i know back than clearly as the world was different i was actually born with clinical depression/ptsd so i was always so deeply sad even as a kid and emotional my dad did NOT like that all and think we can all guess what happen with that... keeping unstable folks and defending them only puts other more defenseless people in harms way

[@lanzi_xo]

I feel like the dude who has 5 children should do some paternity tests to make sure all 5 kids are his. 😬

[@katiavega8207]

I was thinking the same as soon as I read it

[@quintencraenen]

Been searching for that G-spot SOOOOOO long, you have made my day

[@shinee-shawol]

Finally! This video took so long, I honestly thought you just scrapped it and was hoping we wouldn't notice 😂 Good to see you back again, Daddy Dylan

[@lexlin8208]

ayooooo whatt

[@shinee-shawol]

@@lexlin8208 He called himself that in one of his videos. Can't remember which one but he definitely did 😅

[@lexlin8208]

@@shinee-shawol omg wait no i remember he did do that😭 i also can’t remember which video lol

[@mahdia830]

I now how lemonade all over my laptop as a result of spitting it all out when Dylan casually droped 3 'smooshes' in 1 sentence.

[@mag-narwhal]

3:12 you make it sound so easy Im in that situation when we were in elementary school I friend zoned my best friend multiple times. We would carpool to school with each other because we lived very close and I would go to his family Christmas and thanksgiving stuff. But because of these things EVERYONE at school and most of his family would imply that we were dating it would dive me CRAZY. In elementary I just wasn't interested and in middle I was getting sick of it. One day I hit him with the "Your like a brother to me" the moment I said it I felt so bad. Then I'm now in last year of highschool and am interested but like there's no going back now!

[@erica_renee]

I had a 14 year age gap starting at age 22 for 5 years and it was the best relationship I’ve ever had so I say it all depends. By the time I was 22 I had a 2 year old and settled in life. I had already lived out my wild adventures since I started being a trouble maker at 11 and me and the guy had the same mentality. Even though the relationship ended due to life events out of our control he’s still my best friend. All of this to say, it’s difficult to give a definitive answer on this since it truly is all circumstantial and would need more background.

[@realgranolaappleraspberry]

I’ve seen up close how much work it takes to make amends after someone cheats in a relationship. She is completely valid in leaving him because at the end of the day, even if it was 5 years ago, he cheated. I feel like that’s something he’s going to have to accept and understand, that this is a result of his past actions. It’s great that he’s done work to change and hopefully he can carry that into his next relationship, but her not being able to fully trust him is a completely understandable response to have.

[@mike-mz6yz]

I partially agree with you. but really its her fault for staying with him at all. Its not fair to go back to someone who did something wrong 2 years ago and say "you know that thing you did that I promised you I had moved past? well I lied I think we should break up" Instead just say you want to see other people dont bring up the cheating 3 years ago.

[@zarahshabs7936]

I disagree with your last part Whether or not she should’ve /could’ve broken up earlier is a separate convo BUT the person who cheated should ABSOLUTELY know that what they did is so crushing to a relationship that it can impact it years later

[@aruneeagrawal4127]

"I feel like this freaky shit just finds me." - Dylan Mathews, Ooga Booga (the cult), 17/08/2022

[@HeyArlo]

Not gonna lie, I don't think anyone is ever scared off of people's success or drive to be better or you being good at a lot of things. If people say you scare others off over these things, the problem is most likely your personality more than anything. The only people I've come across that say these things are just so completely full of themselves that the guys/galls say fuck off, I'm not dealing with that.

[@tristenouvelle]

11:03 - and how do we deal with trauma? -... bottle it up? - no, Dylan! We talk it through as a Boogies!

[@reaganorton1710]

This advice is actually incredible. Like he gets to the root of the problem

[@sabrinaj1996]

Something quite similar happened to me. I saw some sexts from my fiancé with another woman… he said it was just a joke that went to far and apologised 1000 times. I never imagine he could do something like this. I love him so much and it’s all “forgiven”, but definitely not forgotten. These past weeks have been really hard for me. 😔

[@w.lvermaak9894]

Sorry to hear that. But you know we always can learn something about ourselves in our most difficult times; maybe yours is your willingness to forgive, which isn't always a weakness, or learning what your relationship boundaries are that would make you so much happier in the future, whether it be with your current partner or a new one. This time/experience will soon pass and things will get better for you💕

[@sabrinaj1996]

@@w.lvermaak9894 it’s very sweet of you to say that, thank you 🤍 Things got worse yesterday in our relationship and I feel so stupid and “weak” like you said. 😔 I hope things get better soon.

[@w.lvermaak9894]

@@sabrinaj1996 I am a very firm believer in things happening for a reason. And although hindsight isn't much comfort at all to what you're currently experiencing, keeping that close to me always eases my soul when I'm going through a particularly bad spot in life. I hope keeping this in mind does the same for you. All the best in getting through your situation, and coming out the other end much better for it❤

[@v.eronica]

Hey Dylan, first of all, I just want to say that I'm glad you're back and didn't abandon these submissions, I love these videos so much! Also as a Christian, I wanted to answer the question you asked about fearing God (thank you for being respectful and kind about it too btw!

[@v.eronica]

please why did I format this like a professional essay, I could've been a bit more casual with it while still getting the point across I think💀

[@sarahc.839]

@@v.eronica I honestly love this, prob bc of the essay format lol-if you take the time to process what you said, it's really impactful, and is a good representation of what Christians believe! (I say as one haha)

[@lenyahope693]

The editing on this video was superb!!! Props to him!!! Good job joe! Keep it up :) Also dylan i love you and i need you to post more often please. You give me dopamine.

[@faiththomas6137]

I’ve heard from people that having a sugar daddy doesn’t have to be sexual. It can just be hanging out or going out on a date or something. It’s up to the individuals needs.

[@swamianandtesla2347]

A leather sofa, classic art sculptures and wise advice. Are you becoming Elio's dad?

[@rbhatt2247]

Nah.... think he got a girlfriend now

[@RoKer13]

I feel like big age gaps just don’t work until you’re both at least 30+ years of age. I can’t imagine being with someone more than 4 years older than me. But even that, it just doesn’t seem right for someone in their 20s to be with someone in their 30s. That’s 2 totally different points in life. And omg, I just talked to someone about loving someone who cheats on you. YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOUR BOUNDARIES, as long as you enforce them and they reciprocate that. Leave. Be firm and confident. You deserve more than what you think you do. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to change. Don’t just attach to the one good thing about the person when there are multiple bad things. They’re grown, they can live without you. You’re not responsible for their happiness. Whether you’re married or not. Respect yourself.

[@kairi99roxas]

I'm Ace and have been married 7 years, talking to each other beforehand only helps so much because i had no idea how i would feel about it until doing it (we waited till marriage) we did it a lot in the beginning, but rarely do it now, it's frustrating for him, but he cares about me too much to force it on me, so i try to do it when i can, which is more often than i'd prefer. if he loves you that he'll be willing to work with you

[@grapeslikethefruit]

Advice for the adult career & open relationship, your family does not own you, you’ve made your life choices and you should deserve to be proud of yourself, just take life one day at a time. You don’t have to live up to anyones expectations. It’s your life just keep moving forward prioritizing & and taking care of yourself. Find a balance between having a relationship with your family and being yourself, just create boundaries with them.

[@jessajay1862]

8:00-9:20 had this happened to me as well. My partner has reformed and I do love him, but like, it's pretty dang hard to trust him again. And yet we're still together... whenever we talked about the topic of marriage or living together under one roof, my mind and my heart would fight each other off like, "Do you really wanna do this?" (brain) to "Yes! I do want to live my life forever with you!" (heart) For this case... I think the problem lies with me now because, if he really has good intentions and I have forgiven him before (when I found out his cheating) instead of breaking up with him, why did I still hang on, right? --a question that I'm still pondering and trying to find answers to, still.

[@hafsahshazmeen1446]

U have no idea how i have MISSED U GOD dylannnnnnnn post more OMG

[@jemimahlikesfood5792]

who needs a guidence counsellor when you can get Dylan for free!

[@Taylorocksocks]

When it comes to partners cheating or being toxic and appearing to be willing to turn over a new leaf, whether someone feels comfortable enough to try to give that relationship another chance is really up to them. I don't think there is a right or wrong based on the situation itself, but simply whether or not you personally feel as if you are able to fully move on from the past and try again. If you aren't able to let it go and trust them again then the relationship isn't going to work, that's really it.

[@chach1579]

As someone (27) who is now in a graduate program with a bunch of kids who have just graduated undergrad, I think it is a red flag that a 30-something guy is interested in a 22 year old. Even a 5 year age difference feels huge when interacting with my cohort because it feels like I'm talking to kids. They don't have much life experience. A lot of them lived at home until very recently, and some still feel the need to ask their parents' permission before doing things. I guess it does depend on the 22 year old and their background/life experience, but in general, YIKES.

[@ismatahmad9300]

I THOUGHT YOU WERE UNALIVE YOU FINALLY POSTED YAYYYYY

[@jessicabarrett3631]

I can't say I dont love the look in my friend's faces when they see Ooga Booga in my KZbin Search Bar's recent searches hahaha

[@Lunaticdoodles]

Ok the ace one!! Im in the exact same boat. Definitely ace, also engaged. Waiting til marriage. I made it very very clear to him how I feel abt it before we started dating, and we talked about expectations while we were dating and he is ok with it. If you have NOT had that conversation with your partner and made expectations clear, DO NOT MARRY HIM. Period! It will always be a point of contention and it will lead to resentment down the line.

[@cav5413]

Dylan’s editor 10/10, deserves a rise and paid vacations 😂😂

[@hafsahshazmeen1446]

I was so stressed b4 this vedio n the amount of relief i feel after watching this GOD PLZ POST MORE

[@Sam-fq8dm]

Something that should be obvious but took me way too long to actually follow through on is that if you truly don't trust your partner and constantly catch yourself doubting their words or actions, then there simply is no saving that relationship. Some people can forgive cheating and some people can change their ways, but if there was a betrayal then BOTH these conditions need to be fulfilled in order to even have a chance to really move past it. Way too many people just convince themselves that they can live with certain things while knowing deep down it does still bothers them.

[@lilyg2811]

YOU LOOK SO GOOD DYLAN !

[@AndyyWithAY]

Most people do NOT have open relationships. If he wants that, you need to have a discussion. Cheating is subjective, but if you feel it's not okay, that's valid.

[@amyb0621]

I LOVE THIS HAIRSTYLE SM

[@BomiYuuki]

The first one: I mean, wow, she is 17 and thinking about marriage, like wow. I'm 31 and I don't even consider getting married (well I never have) but I guess that it depends on the person since there are some girls that dream about it and it's their ultimate goal. As an advice for this girl, don't rush into anything, enjoy your life before getting married, go out, date, travel, enjoy your time alone. Once you are married you are no longer thinking about yourself, you consider your partner in everything that you do so it is a huge step and responsibility. So take your time.

[@audinionkundesu]

It's honestly very interesting how similar cheating is portrayed in media vs how people actually deal with it, yet when people get an outside view of it they are so judgemental and distant. In movies for example, people are quick to judge a character badly that tries to make a relationship work where the other is cheating. Yet when it does happen in real life, I'd wager the very same people would also try to justify their relationship where the other is cheating on them, and try to hang on. I guess when feelings of love is involved nothing makes sense ;)

[@LadyGreensleeves33]

To the first girl? Yes that absolutely happens, but only with guys who feel like you're more successful than they are and lack confidence in themselves and their own intelligence. You probably don't want guys like that anyway. At 17, look for the guys who aren't intimidated by you and want to see you succeed.