OPEN MARRIAGE: Should We Try It?

[@armorvestrus4119]

The woman who said, she had a perfect marriage was either lying or living in denial because there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. All marriages have some kind of problems big or small but they are there.

[@d.collins1134]

I would like to know who introduced the idea of an open marriage into the relationship?

[@GuWopFOE]

Women

[@Ayisha4889]

@@GuWopFOE Jesus is that you🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@christisgodd]

It has been there for centuries. In Anam town of Anambra State Nigeria it is called agiri in local parlance.

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

@@GuWopFOE lol...no it’s men cheating that make open marriage a solution

[@josephdeliz3455]

Hoes

[@michaelashcraft8569]

Open marriages are no marriage at all....just sayin'.

[@kbanghart]

Why not?

[@buLLetproofJBE]

You should educate yourself

[@hanzbrixx]

It is for the woman. She's trying to not get tossed into the street where she belongs.

[@kbanghart]

@@hanzbrixx why does she belong in the street?

[@sajadnori8384]

@@kbanghart if you need a third person to make a marriage work between tow people work then it’s not a marriage at all.

[@hanslatif5465]

being in an open relationship is kinda just like being single. really takes all the joy out of dating.

[@MarriageHelper]

We can totally understand how that would be the case. It also takes all of the rewards out of being in a committed relationship!

[@RistoPalmeri]

​@@MarriageHelpercommitment doesn't mean exclusivity

[@inotterwords6115]

Not in my experience. Poly dating seems just as joyful as normal dating.

[@debelix]

Opening your marriage is the same as opening Pandora's box!

[@blacklyfe5543]

What is Pandora's box

[@aliciaaltom6652]

@@blacklyfe5543 🤦‍♀️ Google is your friend

[@Ashbringer36]

@@blacklyfe5543 Pandora's Box pertains to a a story from Greek Mythology the gist of it is that Pandora was told do not open this box, but curiosity got the better of her and she opened it unleashing something into the world. She was unable to put it back once the box was opened no matter how hard she tried closing it again

[@rabbi619]

😂🤣

[@RistoPalmeri]

Yeah...but what about all the monogamous marriages that fail because of infidelity? Relationships don't work

[@fullmontitog]

I personally only know of two couples with open marriages. They both have been happily married for decades. Both have well adjusted kids and are going strong.

[@deena3003]

Yes, there's always something missing from the marriage that makes a spouse do this. It's best to work out the marriage or simply just end the marriage if the marriage feels unfulfilled and unhappy.

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

@Jason albrecht What is your advice then?

[@Statupalmambarbacot3345]

As a man, it's best to walk the F out, go your own way, never look back, and let her ride the carousel by herself!

[@sabinolibros8052]

There is human nature. Most humans, especially men, want to have different sexual partners. As simple as that. This desire for diverse sexual partners has always existed. So an open marriage it’s a very honest way of dealing with human nature instead of falling for the Hollywood fallacy.

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

I don’t understand why men are the one who are against polygamy or open relationship/marriage

[@Metalmonkey80]

Not true. Men mostly prefer monogamy. It’s women who want diversity.

[@RistoPalmeri]

Agreed.Natural always wins

[@jra3978]

When you mentioned the rules and boundries part I thought the same thing. Regardless of what rules u have in place, people are going to do what they want. It will let them know what their doing will hurt you, but it wont stop them from doing it.

[@stevennorris9575]

Marriage Helper staff and participant callers /viewers would benefit from learning from Andrew Huberman (Neuroscientist) on relationship radio

[@TJAnderson]

My wife and I have an open marriage. We were married 14yrs before my wife opened the conversation about an open marriage. Our marriage was/is happy and stable, but we were on opposite ends of the asexual/allosexual scale. After making the decision to open our marriage, we are now stronger than ever. Expecting all people to adhere to one type of relationship model is foolish IMO.

[@Sebastian1979XD]

Can you further explain how it strengthen your marriage? I'm not condoning your marriage at all, I am honestly curious to see how you guys were able to reach that trust level and how it strengthen your love for each other. Did the conversation started out with skepticism or curiosity? Thank you for answering if you do.

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

@@Sebastian1979XD I think it help people to feel less pressure to sexually satisgy their partner. Kinda like being able to be in a stable relationship and free to explore new relationship.

[@Leadblast]

You think open marriage worked out for you. But what about the children. Do you have good relationship with your children? Do your kids feel estranged from you and/or your other spouses? I bet you didn't even think of them for once. Feel free to ignore my question. I don't wanna read a false answer anyway.

[@viridia1526]

@@Leadblast : you’re assuming they have kids.

[@hisham031170]

So your spouse and you had set the rules and boundaries. For your wife’s partner, did you set the boundaries for him? Do you allow her to have as many sexual relationship as she wishes? What about children? What if she got pregnant? You want to abort the fetus, and if her partner prevent it, then how?

[@michaelcandido2824]

Been in an open marriage for half the time my wife and I have been together. You have to have a strong marriage going in. If you are doing it to save a marriage it will never work. My wife is the most important person to me outside of. Y kids and parents, we both feel the same about each other. Another part of this puzzle is that we have both had experience with being poly before meeting each other. At first we were monogamous and then we both agreed on opening the marriage. No jealous or insecure bone in my body, all our partners knows that the family comes first before anything and every partner knows their bounds and not to disrespect me or my wife. A good open marriage should add to the experience and not subtract and that can only happen in a healthy relationship. Nothing wrong with either mono or poly relationships, both are susceptible to the same stats of staying married or divorce.

[@iamsuzn1224]

How can i tell if my bf isn't going to fall for someone when we try it ? This idea is killing me because i know myself I know I would never let myself fall for someone else i know my limits but I can't know what's gonna happen with him

[@michaelcandido2824]

@@iamsuzn1224 there is no guarantee. You can fall for one person if your used to monogamy which most everyone has been programmed to think by the church etc but if you’ve broken from that mindset and have been open for a long time or poly then that usually does t happen. Poly is not something you try to meant a current relationship last or spicy because that never works. You must start off poly from the beginning or both of you should have had enough experience being poly in prior relationships and can apply it.

[@iamsuzn1224]

@@michaelcandido2824 I've never been in one , I've never committed I always liked to be with different people, but now I'm in love with someone so much that I'm ready to stop wanting other men , but he noticed that it turns me on to watch gang bang videos or talking about other guys that I've been with so we decided to have an open relationship, because he wants the same to try other girls while with me , I'm already jealous and the idea is hurting not him sleeping with other people but him liking or falling for them , are there any rules or ways to prevent that ? Should we have a deal on specific things? Please advise me 🥺

[@FTW_666]

I have the same open relationship as Michael’s for several years and it’s been great. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I would marry anyone else other than my partner, and doubly so for her. To each their own and it’s not for everyone but a lot of the “anti-open-relationship” sentiment I read is from people for whom this would NOT work, or they are traditionalist Christian types.

[@MG-mb8po]

Hi I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your experience my husband and I are so strong and considering an open marriage.

[@reidjw6206]

Point on! It baffles my mind to hear swingers say ridiculous things like, “it’s not about the sex or it brings us closer together.” I just can not except that rational as honest truth!

[@erickt22991]

Jonathan Reid some people like bananas and some other people likes apples!

[@reidjw6206]

Eric T Granted, but know that for some, forsaking all others, means just that!

[@juanotero3021]

@@erickt22991 I tend to like grapes myself!

[@stevemines6870]

Bullshit something is missing devoice

[@american5564]

Try it

[@dougdoug1513]

There is no fair open marriage, it’s always good for one and not so good to other. Usually woman has a lot of advantage, but few times is the guy who enjoy it.

[@MoparMikeMM]

Definitely in my situation, we tried before and looks like we're trying again. But she's good looking and guys are thirsty, I'm an ogre and women are far more hesitant

[@Ivo3963]

@@MoparMikeMM i would leave her and stop being a cuck. But you do you man!

[@MoparMikeMM]

@@Ivo3963 I love my wife very much and we're not dividing our family.

[@Exxperiment626]

@@MoparMikeMM Grow a pair of balls dude and have some respect for yourself. My god, your comment made me sad on your behalf. Leave her.

[@MoparMikeMM]

@@Exxperiment626 I can't help but love her, sorry not giving up, we're still very close

[@margaretpresley1805]

The idea of an open marriage is often looked at as an opportunity to “ FREELY” love and be loved unconditionally. But the rules that may govern a marriage usually have no relevance to those outside the marriage, especially if the outside partner wants more. Someone always gets hurt or are left feeling excluded. It’s like God taking the boundary off the sun or gravity, even if just for a moment. Recovering from such destruction may be impossible.

[@ryokohonda4619]

I still believe they will always go back to their spouse no matter how many times they cheated and not everyone gets to be hurt specially when the love is lost in the marriage but this must be a form of adultery

[@tyboogy1066]

Perfection is an illusion. It really is steeped in moral absolutes. Conversely, a perfect marriage doesn't exist. What does exist, is our belief that there is a right or wrong way to do marriage. It's all a matter of perspective.

[@CrazyKatz71]

So true!!

[@youtubefans510]

any marriage whether its good or not monogamous or open or polyamarous is as good as the two people who make the relationship it doesnt depend on whether its a monogamous, open or a polyamarous relationship boundaries respect openness and honesty still applies monogamous relationships because its restrictive by nature plus the expectation of fidelity open relationships have more breeding ground for honesty

[@offbeatblackgerl8360]

Also if you're going into an open marriage it should be for the right reason. Don't do an open marriage when in actuality you know deep down you need to just get a divorce. Make sure that you are open and honest with yourself and then be open and honest with your partner about what you want.

[@sumomaster9144]

What right reasons? marriage used to mean forever, now we have divorce accepted socially. If you can't make it work, divorce, open marriage is basically asking for a license to cheat without consequences. Does make any sense? might as well get divorced.

[@offbeatblackgerl8360]

@@sumomaster9144 The right reason is wanting to because it's what you truly want. The right reason is two consenting adults doing it because that is the type of relationship they both want. Furthermore, marriage, until fairly recently, has always been based on politics, money, and building the family structure for the purpose of securing inheritances. For women, especially, it was about security and/or survival. Women could do very little without a man like getting loans, credit cards, fair pay, a job... Etc. So now that women no longer depend on men to survive, as well as other factors, the purpose of /reason for marriage has started to change. In my opinion, you must have trust, patience, respect, and open communication as a foundation. After that people can make their own rules, within reason.

[@janetsullivan5597]

Her husband most likely would have cheated and left her regardless of the openness. And he probably will again.

[@kbanghart]

My wife and I have both been intimate with other people in our marriage. And we're happy together still.

[@z-iceberg3562]

@@kbanghart fake marriage

[@kbanghart]

@@z-iceberg3562 whose? Certainly not mine.

[@viceanterra3]

@@z-iceberg3562 the only fake marriages are people who stay together and are miserable with eachother.

[@norasanchez2345]

Never never and never...missing or not...divorce ...simple !

[@knightflamin7687]

And if in a relationship it’s only you whose allowed to have other open relationships then will you take it or..

[@offbeatblackgerl8360]

First, before you enter into any relationship you need to make sure your mentally and emotionally mature. No one is perfect but you need to have a good grasp on who you are and what you want in life. Come into a relationship whole and continue to work on yourself through out. Next, you need to figure out your boundries, expectations and overall what you want from a relationship. Then you need find someone to match that. If you want an open marriage, monogamy or whatever that is between you and your partner. Yes, there are foundational things you need to have in every relationship like communication and trust but after that you make your own rules. Do what works for you.

[@saragirma6577]

Very well said

[@athelstan...8754]

...well from where I stand🤔🤔, the 1st rule of an open mariege, is divorce,

[@lindajones4811]

I believe open marriage is a “kiss of death” to a relationship cause like you said it touches emotions and doesn’t follow hard logic. Usually the boring spouse who accuses the other of being boring in bed will seek trills to the escape the reality that they don’t want to face on themselves. Usually the emotionally immature spouse tends to drag the other into this rabbit hole. To any woman out there who is strong enough to face the reality of what is being proposed; Say No to it. The failure of a marriage have a more lasting effect on men then enabling them to drag you into a vortex of lies that taints one’s character

[@TheStanford01]

This is the most level headed approach to this topic I have come across. Well done.

[@nimanixo]

Why not just leave eachother

[@kbanghart]

Because we want to stay together

[@brooklynloutheskeptic]

It is all about always moving forward in your relationship. I may have a rather perfect relationship in most ways but if there is no more mountain to climb, life becomes boring. open marriages may or may not work depending on the people involved. Do not underestimate the power of the thrill in life.

[@PeachyFlaming0]

So I have been in an open marriage for a few years now. Yes, the marriage has to be strong. You need to have a very open line of communication with your partner, and trust. You need to be free to talking and listening to each other about how you're feeling and you need to always put your partner first. Lots of people cannot control themselves enough to make open relationships work. We are extremely happy after opening. The sense of freedom and being able to utilize our bonds of trust and communication honestly make our relationship even better than if we were not open. Its also a way of putting yourself outside of your insecurities, our confidence has flourished as well. Honestly it takes a certain mindset and loyalty for these things to work and it's not for everyone.

[@JA-jm8bk]

Just as having multiple partners can be pleasurable, getting married is chasing a pleasurable feeling, too.

[@dungeater9241]

Don't get married guys. 2D is better than 3D. You can also imagine dragon

[@calgal5752]

I’m currently in a 5 year (long) sexless relationship and am so lonely....but I love my partner and don’t want to lose him. I’m so confused and conflicted. I yearn for an intimate connection but not with someone else 😪😪

[@codyd.1415]

Cal Gal I say get in a marriage seminar and get good guidance and counsel in a safe place from wise people and get help with the issues that are real in your life before stepping out and doing something that you will regret. Best of luck.

[@volleyballjerry]

I’m sorry about what you are going through. This plus the underlying causes ended my marriage. If you can get your partner to go to counseling with you, you might be able to save this. Prayers on the way for you.

[@calgal5752]

Jerry Williamson I’m sorry about what you went through too, Jerry. Hopefully you are further along in the healing process than I am now. Best wishes to you also.

[@calgal5752]

Cd D Thank you. You’re right, it never made sense to me to think someone new would “fix” things. (Usually middle aged men make that mistake). Best wishes to you.

[@calgal5752]

slp2007 Yes maybe, but a recovery would require work from both of us & he has zero interest in understanding himself or me....so I don’t expect that. I just need out. Best wishes to you.

[@michaellarson4207]

My wife and I have been together 10 years. We are both fulfilled and happy. The way that we look at our open relationship is not that there is something missing. We are both perfectly content. Being this way adds to who we are as people being able to grow and love more, because we don’t own each other. We are not confined by our marriage, we are free to be intimate with other humans and not closed off to connecting with them just because we are married. If that spark of connection comes into our lives we are able to step out of our responsibilities and identities of husband/wife, mother/father have great intimacy with others. We always come back to one another and are closer because of it. It causes self reflection, and growth. It’s about being more, having more and living more. It may not work for everyone.

[@juanzavala9023]

Good for you. 92% of them fail, however. Speak for yourself.

[@nesbitt615]

Who is reporting their open marriage to some authority that keeps track of that type of relationship to publish that type of statistic? You sound very ignorant, stay in your lane

[@ancientfern2693]

Agree completely.

[@RistoPalmeri]

Relationships don't work. Opened, Closed, Deep Fried, On the side. They just don't work. Just have casual Friendships and avoid the labels and expectations

[@LittleFishBigMind]

but we are humans we can't set rules for our emotions...

[@user-xo2ou7ym4o]

This comment makes so much sense but no likes.

[@tylerjames2889]

Yes you can you just don't have morals cheating isn't hard don't get married if your sleeping around

[@eurowerx4267]

You don’t share your favorite toy! You share the ones you don’t care about!!

[@kenofken9458]

I would never even consider a non-open marriage. It's worked for us for far long than most of our friends "normal" marriages. Still it's not for everyone. You're either wired for it or not.

[@MarriageHelper]

Thank you for your transparency! We will never tell you what to do, however, we have seen nearly every open marriage end in one spouse either feeling hurt by the other spouse for pursuing someone else, or there is a complete disconnect on many levels of intimacy, which ultimately leads to one spouse being hurt and wanting out of the marriage entirely. Thank you for your comment, but we stand against open marriages. If you ever need help for your marriage in the future, please don't hesitate to reach out to us!

[@daltonsimpson4925]

Me an my wife argue all the time now we are lot happier with another partner

[@meriland19]

Not sure if you're with the right person if that's the crutch keeping your marriage from failing.

[@chrisgardiner2215]

The first 0:25 of this video shows just how far gone we are as human beings : (

[@Azulakayes]

Humans have been polygamous for a long time. Many non-western cultures still have polygamous & arranged marriages. Monogamy is the new concept and people are still trying to understand it. Monogamy for love with commitment is an ideal, it is what we are evolving towards but as always, because we are human, we fail at it. That's why we have open-marriages which is basically polygamy, cheating, serial monogamy & divorce.

[@chrisgardiner2215]

@@Azulakayes yeah and how did they turn out? serious

[@Azulakayes]

@@chrisgardiner2215 Can you please learn to read? Is the comprehension of a concept that difficult? What exactly in my reply implies an expected conclusion or lesson learnt so your question of 'how did they turn out' can make any sense whatsover?

[@chrisgardiner2215]

@@Azulakayes I am saying that it didn't work out to well in the past. that is all I am saying, there is no need to demean me for having commented.

[@davidllamas2192]

@@Azulakayes why so angry? Maybe because some truth was pointed at?

[@cargorilla]

She is missing the point of open marriage. It’s not about the marriage. It’s about personal fulfillment within the individuals in that marriage (or people within the marriage) that the marriage cannot address. She states so confidently that she knows “the truth”… the truth is very different for each individual. She talks like she has all the answers that universally solves all relationships. … she does not. Religion does not solve everything for everyone.

[@DanielRuss-p7z]

Men just get bored after awhile and we need to feel that new feeling again.

[@curious1053]

That’s an easy fix.

[@rennrodriguez8909]

I would never ever consider it. Anyone with an ounce of Decency Would Not.

[@Azulakayes]

What defines 'decency'? Millions of people globally are in non-monogamous unions for love and other reasons so are all of them indecent?

[@Nostradamusknow]

Whats worse than an open marriage, is being a CEO of a tiny youtube channel, with no employees, zero revenue and tons of free advice to give to people, who either don't care, or dont want. 😅

[@chaleskoontz2183]

What do you do when your husband can’t perform and you haven’t had any sexual pleasure for roughly two years and that’s a void that needs to be for filled? You both really Love each other and besides that one issue everything else is great.

[@MG-mb8po]

15 years for me 😕

[@mickeycostagain660]

Get divorced

[@rossburns3145]

Counseling & Blue Chew

[@KNByam]

Get a divorce and move on. Sleeping with other men only helps you.

[@KNByam]

@@mickeycostagain660 Exactly. This nonsense of open marriage is dumb.

[@AlbertoMartinez-rm1hx]

So... succesful open relationships are impossible? That sounds a little extreme

[@sajadnori8384]

It is not extreme allow me to explain in terms of sustainability it is not sustainable. In most cases open marriage are introduced due to lack of compatibility. Unfortunately people do not understand that humans are complex creatures you cannot disconnect intimacy from emotional connection.

[@kbanghart]

3:00 I think you are assuming here, one reason may just be to try it, not necessarily that something is missing. And at 5:30, I don't think that is true, an open marriage isn't always bad. Just look at supposedly monogamous relationships, and the rate of breakup or divorce.

[@kbanghart]

@Random Gaming Good question

[@roberteugene7295]

@@kbanghart I'm 72, and I've never seen an "open relationship" that actually worked. I'm a retired university professor, and still communicate with a fair number of my former students. Several of them over the years have tried it, and it never ends well. That's usually because one partner wants it more than the other, or the other partner only reluctantly agrees (i.e. didn't want it, but either caved under some pressure or went along because they were "going with the flow"). The "reluctant partner" usually finds out that their partner already had someone in mind before broaching the subject. From observing my former students, it's women who initiate the idea much more often than men (in my students, it's by a 4-to-1 ratio), and it makes sense, sort of. Women usually have more options at the stage an open relationship was requested, and thought of the smorgasbord of men (or women, too, in some cases) they could sample. Men don't have such options as often. Just the way it is, not passing judgment. If two people think they can make an open relationship/marriage work, more power to them. But just know that the odds are stacked against it.

[@kbanghart]

@@roberteugene7295 good points, thank you.

[@kbanghart]

@@roberteugene7295 my wife and I have talked about it. I initiated. Just our perspective.

[@josefhospital]

@@roberteugene7295 I had the same observations and experiences.

[@tourepruitt9371]

Struggling to see if this open marriage is even worth continuing the marriage.

[@gamingwithabid3339]

Open marriage sucks

[@saladin4305]

Open marriage is not a Marriage. If you are married you should only have one relationship . That relationship is with your spouse. Open Marriage is cheating 😡😡😡 That is allowed

[@ronbutler3431]

Assumes both partners in a troubled relationship are rational, mature, and care for each other. More commonly, at least one is a raging narcissist.

[@caloptus]

how can you hold the universal " truth" ?.. you can have you own ideas or " opinion"...but not the "truth "...

[@00dfm00]

Simple. Only get into an open relationship when you've experienced the emotions when open dating while single and know that's still for you. Only get into a relationship with someone who has also experienced that and has come to the same determination. I can see how - in the video's specific context - it can be rather unstable in the long run as she's talking about monogamous relationships trying something different. It takes particular personalities and honesty and a determination on both sides to make it work. Without all those pieces, are we surprised it often ends bad?

[@MarriageHelper]

In some instances, it may work out. But from our experience, open marriages typically only make things much worse. We highly advise staying away from the idea! But again, it is your decision and we will never tell you what to do!

[@Metalmonkey80]

Simple. If you want to be with other people end your relationship.

[@Convexhull210]

This is wrong and immoral. God is the standard of morality and defines marriage between a man and woman.

[@jmaddnessL0L]

No

[@britto131]

On the moment when she asks you for open marriage , keep in mind is over !!!!

[@jairocorrales7370]

For me to get married there has to be bond of love AND a economical safety FROM BOTH parties. Both should make the same or somewhat what more, money than the other. But if you make more money than the other person, the relationship is not financially fair. Give me your opinions on my train of thought. I think you should have and opened marriage if the love factor is not there, but both acknowledge the good financial aspect of the marriage. If the financial aspect is not present, than you shouldn’t have married them long after that fact, because no matter how you looked at it they will be leaving out of you. And if none of this are present, than yeah divorce seems like the best option. But for the man is a bigger lose situation, either that be economically or having jurisdiction over the children. This part is only for man, but woman can have such problem as well. But man please know who you are marrying, I know this has being tiredly said but try to think a little more of the consequences of marriage that implicate you and possibly your children. Once you have children the woman comes second your kids first. So if you live with a woman that change her attitude on you after a couple of years of being married. Be careful and take care, know what you are getting in to. And just be safe, and in my opinion you should fight for the very end for your children, that would be in court of course.

[@cperez1263]

Wow. Excellent video. Thanks for sharing.

[@MarriageHelper]

Thank you so much C Perez. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on KZbin. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ Blessings,

[@endlessgodyocd8238]

What kind of marriages are you talking about.?

[@mrdrivebytrucker]

Where’s the link you mentioned?

[@stephensepan291]

did any of you read the book?

[@brookswoodward7278]

I didn't even know I was in an open marriage.

[@KrystleM]

👀👀👀👀😞

[@youtubefans510]

true love is accepting someone else for what and who they are and loving them regardless even if they stray , judging them and rejecting them when they do not feel just for you is not , that to me would confirm that that love is not genuine for the religious : it is ONLY unconditional love that is genuine and the closer you are to that the closer you are to God

[@maxsanderson3066]

The example you chose, they ended up back together. So if they didn't open their marriage, they could have also ended up getting a divorce and never gotten back together...

[@miguelzola1394]

I think it is a lottery because jealousy, emotion,feeling , are involved

[@michaelstartin405]

I am 100% on agree with what you say

[@abstruk]

Open anything in nature is unrealistic if there is going to be a leader or caretaker(hierarchy). At our core is connection to rarity and fleeting. We love knowing "its" temporary. We want what is going away and in short supply (scarcity). This implies "being moral" is a pursuit of God as the immortal and unchanged. Immorality is NOT being what we were designed to be so as to contribute to life's rarity and fleeting experiences! pursuit

[@stephenlyon8577]

When your wife asks for a open marriage it is over . Walk away .

[@inotterwords6115]

4:30 - "Almost every time, one or both people still end up... ultimately regretting the decision to ever do this in the first place." Big 'citation needed' there. I've been browsing through some studies on polyamory and I've never heard this claim (that "almost all" couples who open their marriages regret it eventually). Heck, i haven't even seen data suggesting higher regret rates for open marriages over monogamous marriages. Marriage Helper, if you read this, i gotta say, right now this sounds like a fabricated statistic... But I'm willing to hear evidence for your claim. What data are you using as the basis for this idea that almost all open marriages ultimately regret opening their marriage?

[@immortaltoaistisascamdonot4938]

quick answer is NO

[@almightytrollgod]

"Open Marriage" is based on love and sex. That wont work in any way shape or form. However, "swinging" is completely different stuff. You can have sex with other people, just make sure you are having "pornographic" sex. Sex with acting. And only do that when sex in your marriage is falling apart. That time you need a fresh "meat". After that, trust me, when you come back together, sex is absolutely explosive.

[@Dukeofmamucas]

They do work.

[@generaldvw]

Yeah…but their marriage is stronger now…right?

[@bryand9523]

Sometimes you just have an itch you gotta scratch. Couple time a year just sex no relationships.

[@juanzavala9023]

“have to itch” ? As in you NEED TO? Let me guess... You’re the type of person to describe sexual feelings as “sexual needs” Instead of what it really is “urges.”

[@kbanghart]

@@juanzavala9023 What's the difference?

[@deceptiontony]

can i be honest i love my wife but were 3 yrs separated because of immigration issues an now covid_19 ( corona virus ) ... i feel so frustrated i dont go out all i dont do anything. so im tempted to ask her about it cause just atleast until were together again .. i dont wanna feel like im about to cheat an have that over my head.... so i dont know man.. im this close to mentioning in like im actually talking to her on the phone right now an its itching me ...

[@charlesodonnell2993]

I have never seen one work in the long term.

[@melvinmolly4151]

This is how people end up getting shot..

[@tamara6887]

Sadly, most marriages are already open, it’s just non-consensual.

[@pm71241]

This video is misleading. You fail to state your religious bias up front. Also ... I saw one of your other videos where you clearly mixed up the concepts of "open marriage", "polyamory" and "swinging". (which are very different concepts) Now ... while I'm not sure whether "open marriages" or polyamory are stable constructs, I know that swinging as a couple definitely can be and can make your relationship to your spouse much stronger. So ... what would be missing for a couple to add swinging with other couples to a relationship? ... well ... inspiration, experiencing your spouse fulfilling her fantasies and enjoying her sexuality.

[@dionnelteasleybs7878]

Thank you!

[@yingnz]

You are so right!!!!

[@Elusive_Pete]

People don't know how to step up and earn what they want or know how to walk away.. so they do dumb shit like an open relationship/marriage.

[@kbanghart]

It's only dumb to you

[@mikedavis3423]

Put your hands down...is that some kinda sign langue?

[@user-3jd6hek5h]

So many logical flaws in her arguments… don’t know where to even start.

[@aurelienhenryobama5434]

Well spoken

[@thedude2920]

"Then I heard 'yada yada yada'"...stupid setup. Get right into it. Thx

[@joshuacummings3178]

Of course it's a *woman* talking about *opening their relationship* 🤦🏿‍♂️

[@adriennezest]

I'm engaged and getting married while being in an open relationship. Marriage and commitment is not about never ever touching anyone else with your genitalia or never ever catching feelings for anyone else. Marriage is about building a life together and loving each other and giving each other freedom to be who they need to be, to grow. I knew since I was a teen that monogamy is not for me. And I'm happy I was able to create the kind of relationship I always dreamt of. Committed, loving and free. Everything is possible.

[@00dfm00]

Finally, a breath of reason and fresh air to this comments section! Sounds like you and your husband? both knew going in you were non-monogamous? I think this video addresses the dangers of one person pushing for it when the other felt everything was fine. Which makes sense.

[@Metalmonkey80]

Ain’t that fun. Why is it that most of these types of comments come from women? Why is it that they always use these kinds of super positive and super “good” but very general words like “freedom”,”love” etc to describe the situations you are in. All this seems to me too good to be true. You leave out other truths like jealousy, resentment, the delicate power balance that needs to exist in relationships. I’m betting everything that you have already hurt each other massively. Relationships are never this good. Never. And making things complicated just adds more risk to hurt each other. I don’t believe you AT ALL.

[@adriennezest]

@@Metalmonkey80 we are still very happy together, still non-monogamous. Currently enjoying a lovely holiday in Dominican Republic.:) I hope you find the love you're looking for! I think you only see comments from women because women are much more likely to discuss relationships online in their free time. My husband would never go online to talk about this, but he does speaks (very highly) about our relationship to his close friends.

[@Metalmonkey80]

@@adriennezest If you say so. It is still your side of the story. Sounds too good to be true though.

[@michaelstartin405]

, I agree with you in every way,

[@Mark-fx3pp]

An open marriage is only for weird type people who are really just friends living together I have honestly never heard of them ever working only in the short term

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

Exclusive monogamous are becoming more and more short term as well. In the end every type of relationship are short term

[@Taller58]

Why get married if you want to be with other people

[@tabasdezh]

Great video 👍

[@dennisahlarson1584]

Polygamous marriages. What do you think of those?

[@Meme-zc4cw]

This video seems a bit biased. I was hoping for more objectivity. Monogamy is nothing more than a social construct rooted in religion. We have been taught there is only one way to have a marriage. Again, this is all created by "man" and not rooted in human nature.

[@rs-xr3ty]

There is no such thing as the two do not go together anything other than loyalty to one another you have broken your vows

[@rawross2.0]

Why even get married? You get married to share your husband or wife...🤔 it makes no sense. You should have never got married and should have just dating.

[@tylerjones9432]

I find this video incredibly offensive and disheartening. There are plenty of people who have healthy and successful non-monogamous relationships. You are stating your opinions as fact... and if you can’t see how that can be incredibly harmful, I don’t think you are an “expert” by any means.

[@danielabancem]

I disagree in the generalizing tone of this video, I don't think monogamy or poliamorous is better than the other, it really depends on the couple and their trust level. In a relationship there are two, why one person needs to put her or his feelings under the rug? sometimes everything is great with your partner, but there is chemistry with other people as well, and is sth that has to do only with you, not with your partner. Then, if you can be honest about these feelings and give your partner the insight on what is going on and then step by step understand that maybe the structure of monogamy doesn't make sense anymore and that you can explore other areas of freedom in your life and build from there a level of trust towards an open relationship, or poliamorous one, then why not? Of course opening a relationship is a risk, but sometimes the risk is not to open it.

[@TheBadassplaya]

single man looking for a qwoman who like open marriage and love , i will let her be happy and sleep other woman and man and love her forever

[@faequeenluna5739]

been in an open relationship for years my maine parter and i was the one who opend it up and its been the best relationship i have ever had its not for everyone but its been the best time

[@karaoke888]

NO!

[@motiverendesitater6882]

i think open marriage is healthy...see...can you live your whole life eating..only .pizza ?....you try new food, because it tastes differently....same with relation....you may be in love with a person...but you still can get attracted to other bodies and personalities.....we hold back bcos we say ..no...i dont wont to cheat my partner...but what if, if your partner is ok with it..then you will have sex with the other person ? guys...we have one life....its best to...listen to yourself and be happy rather than following the rules of this NEUROTIC SOCIETY !!! i am desperately looking for a partner who is open for open marriage not becos, i am a casinova...but just bcos..i dont want either of our partner to hold back what they want in life just bcos they got married...marriage and starting a new relation is a JOURNEY not the DESTINATION !!! we all will die one day, and thats the blunt truth....cheers !!!

[@coltneedham7271]

This is why I won’t marry again. Marriage is a joke any more don’t waste you time

[@crystalc.4525]

Calm your hands..