What It Feel Like To Be An AUTISTIC Child - Meet My Autistic Son

[@Aloszka7]

Watching this was...a ride. I was diagnosed at 26 yr (autism and ADHD), I'm a woman, so I didn't have the "autistic childhood" experience - was forced to be "normal", was treated (and still am) like a weirdo and unworthy to be a part of the society. Autism in Poland is a taboo and seen in the most stereotypical categories possible. Only in last few years a few activists started speaking up, a few doctors started doing diagnosis in adults and especially in women, so the awareness is slowly getting better, yet it's still WAAAY behind the rest of the world. It's so interesting to see the perspective of kids with not only an early diagnosis, but also with super supportive fakilies and friends and schools. It's so... unbelievable for me, like I can't even imagine it's possible. Never experienced that and I most probably won't ever experience such a thing. It hurts and I'm jealous and...have a lot of not great emotions because of my traumatic and horrible childhood and still being stuck in this bullshit country, never able to be myself no matter how much I try. I can't tell my family about my diagnosis, I can't tell my university, can't tell my coworkers, can't tell my friends - only 3 closest people know about my diagnosis, and only because they're also neurodivergent. Can't tell most doctors about it, because they laugh at me. I spent tons of money and time to finally find a therapist and psychiatrist who update their knowledge and know anything about autism in adult women. Getting diagnosis in Poland is almost impossible 😩 even in private clinics you'll wait for over 6 months for an appointment. Do you know how many autistic women over 35yr have a diagnosis in Poland? 303. Only 303 autistic adult women in Poland. This number is just pathetic in all possible ways.

[@julieabraham3566]

As a child, I wanted so badly to have friends, but did not know how this was done. I knew that one key was to be kind. I also knew that people did not like to be lied to. These were two traits that I had to a fault, so I was confused as to why kids did not flock to me, seeking my friendship. The friends I tended to attract, however, were narcissists. They could smell my hunger for friends and they exploited my kindness and honesty.

[@turtleanton6539]

Agreed 😊

[@babsbunny_]

My experience as well. I remember crying to my father about why no one would be my friend at school and he told me if he was a kid in my school, he’d be my friend.

[@shannonluck5066]

Yes, I totally understand that, this was and is my experience too! 😮

[@GenTikki]

Thank you Conan and Orion.

[@nancyz3755]

i have always had problems making/keeping friends. i still can tell which of my neighbors actually 'like me or put up with me'. its very confusing. i enjoy being with very few people. i have a 41 year od daughter who understands me & a close friend/neighbor who i feel 'safe' with. Thank you for helping me to process this situation, its been haunting me for over 60yrs. im really just recently seeing this is most likely autism. i was abused at a very young age & it continued thru my teen years. im not quite sure who i really am.

[@jeannettegarofalo6876]

Your son is so adorable ❤

[@Lini.lavender]

I am currently figuring out whether I might be autistic or not, one thing that always makes me doubt it is that I seemed quite "normal" as a child and even had friends. Seeing your son, and how "normal" he appears, is really helpful. I can compare and understand my younger self better now. Thank you for the education.

[@beanbeanster7219]

That was so informative Orion and Connan. Thanks so much. It was all such valuable knowledge. The biggest take away for me was, my son has been busy masking most of the day at school, he comes home and does his special interest which I'm fine with me but if other family members are at our place, they say things like, "Why do you let him spend so much time doing so and so. He should be doing his home work." I say "No, he's just spent 6.5 hrs trying to do school work at school and navigating the whole playground stuff. He needs to relax now." My family members may say, "You don't discipline him enough. If he's like this now what's he going to be like when he's older?" It sometimes breaks my heart being called this and that as a parent but at the same time I know my son and my family don't and I'll never stop advocating for his needs and standing up for him. Thanks again and as always your video flew by, didn't seem like 20 minutes at all.

[@EMILY4DAYS]

You have the right to place firm boundaries about people not coming into your son's "safe place" and disparaging him directly or indirectly. They can't stand up for themselves adequately, and need to be taught by example to respect and honor themselves. These other people don't have to be in your space, particularly if they can't stay in their own lanes.

[@TheKjoy85]

I think that most people can take a flying leap when it comes to judging how a parent cares for special needs children. (I am not advocating abuse or the ignoring of abuse). But meeting the needs of your kids is extremely important. My mom had people tell her that she was too strict and then they would say that she wasn't strict enough. They even had the balls to suggest she adopt my brother out, but she could keep me. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD and has sensory processing disorder. I was an undiagnosed autistic girl with a whole host of comorbidities. I've only recently started making sense of it all. Allowing your son time to decompress when he gets home from school is a fantastic thing for you to do. Homework can wait an hour or so.

[@carcrazynik]

Watching this video, I feel like I just viewed my entire childhood differently than I did prior to watching this. It really hit home. Your son is unbelievably lucky to have you as his father. I wish I could have been diagnosed as a child. I didn't have that safe space that he has at home. I had to mask twice as effectively at home than I did at school. My single father was the #1 person telling me to look him in the eyes when I speak to him or to not act like that cause its "weird" or to "grow up" when I was upset about anything. Now he's my best friend and I love him dearly. He just didn't know. The media hasn't exactly done a great job of showing the realities of a lot of autistic people. Especially in the 90s when I was a child. Keep up the amazing work you're already doing. You do change lives for the better all over the world. 🖤

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Awww Conan is such a sweetheart. I loved how he described how accepting his friends are. So sweet. Thank you both for this important information!

[@KeenanDenis]

I get so angry seeing videos online of people being praised for "being friends with the Autistic/Disabled kid" and "taking the Autistic/Disabled kid to prom", and celebrities boasting about their special effort to meet an Autistic/Disabled child. When kindness towards Autistic/Disabled people is deemed extraordinary, you need to reevaluate how you've been conditioned to treat Disabled people in the first place.

[@turtleanton6539]

😊

[@Jenna.g.85]

I agree with Conan,spinning in chairs is super fun. I do best if people approach me instead of me trying to figure out how to approach someone myself. I don't have any close friends anymore and looking back my "friendships" seemed more like acquaintances. The only job ive had was working with kids at a summer park program, i had trouble joining into games i didn't want to play and neither did some of the kids, apparently my coworkers complained to my boss so i just quit. Now i know that happened because im late diagnosed autistic. Some kids are mean

[@KeenanDenis]

I really dislike the term "special needs". My needs aren't special - my needs are the exact same as everybody else's. What's special is the effort I require from society to ensure my needs are met. I'm disabled by society.

[@LmB-hn2pu]

This has a name; the Social Model of disability. It is the mismatch between an individual and their environment. Autistic and neurodivergent people are rarely understood or accommodated in many social settings. We are often expected to mask 24/7. I have tried to explain to others that expecting me to behave in an NT manner, is like telling someone in a wheelchair to use the stairs. I am not choosing to be difficult or rude, I am UNABLE to. Thankyou for your work Orion and Conan❤

[@nancyziegler5724]

I had a hard time with getting/keeping friends when i was young, still do at 68. Its difficult to trust people to be what they appear. I love Conan, hes a doll. Im pleased he has real friends. Shout out to the folks who actually teach their children to understand to love others despite differences. Great presentation, guys. (i love the puffy shirt from the Seinfield episode (sp). my favorite comedy).

[@trishapotter3118]

Your little boy is adorable 🥰 just like his daddy. 😊

[@Torby4096]

Somehow the cat always knew when I needed her.

[@TheKjoy85]

My cat always seems to know when I need him, and if not him, then my mom's dog.

[@juicesoundsystem]

people who say cats don't express or feel empathy honestly don't have a clue. I've had it as an adult when I've been depressed and they will come and comfort me because they are the best animals. Other animals are great too lol.

[@Torby4096]

@@juicesoundsystem I agree. The cat would come calm me with her purr. I am ASD but we did not know that then.

[@jamescolahan9023]

Bless Conan’s heart. He is amazing and he is your son. Love you guys. Jimcolahan

[@moonandstars9529]

I just want to thank you a lot for making these videos they really make me understand and identify so many things about an austistic person in my life , my little brother who’s 9 at the time has autism and ADHD and I have ADD and anxiety and it’s often times a struggle to understand why he does and thinks the way he does as a non autistic person , to top it off I’m a very quiet person who like calmness and tranquility which is often times not possible for me because he has ADHD which makes him very hyperactive at times , however your video inform me and make me understand how my brother might see the world I often times hear things in your videos and think ‘ oh ! My brother does that too ‘ or ‘ so that’s why he does this ‘ for example the wanting to do things and play things a certain way is very true to him often times when we play a game he wants me and him to play a certain specific way and he gets really irritated and mad when I say no and do things my way truth is i didn’t even know that was an autistic trait at the time I thought he was just bossy and rude now I understand that’s not the case ,at times it does create a sense of guilt for not researching these things earlier and reacting badly to the things he does when he doesn’t mean to make me mad but at least im learning now and hopefully I can mend my past errors and make our environment easier for him to handle and understand and I can also inform my parents about these things so they can also understand him and make interactions easier for him and us ❤

[@michellestudios9593]

This is a great one and I’m so glad you put it up. I am bawling though as I am listening. This was my sons experience. I was able to get him out of the school where it happened the bullying. The struggle to make and keep friends. It breaks my heart.

[@Bob-ln1jh]

Excellent video smart little guy

[@f2dw]

Your son is so sweet. I love he enjoys making a video too! You're a great person to be his role model and he is so lucky you're his Dad. I grew up misunderstood by my parents and I bet it would have been loads different having such an aware parent. I hope my experiences help my son.

[@autisticMargo]

My kids and I totally relate.

[@alisonhudyma5735]

This was fantastic. Your son and you Nailed for my little boy about school and making friends. I just found your podcast and KZbin the other day and I have to say it is a breath of fresh air to hear all your expearances. It is helping me a lot. Thank you. And your boy is just the best.

[@orionkelly]

I’m so happy to hear that. Thanks for watching.

[@fluffyworm]

Omg now I realised that I was forcing other kids that I was friends with to play same type of games over and over. I was upset that they didn't want to play with me and they were angry at me because this. In general I had many conflicts with other kids because of misunderstanding each other. Also I wanted to play with maybe like one to three people. In bigger group I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

[@shiny6123]

Every thing you said. 👏🏼👍🏼

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

Thank u for making ur videos it's very helpful my son was just diagnosed

[@turtleanton6539]

Very important video😊😊😊😊

[@teresacarpenter7944]

Hi Orion and Conan. I was five when I was told I had Epilepsy. I had seizures, took medications, struggled with directions, and making friends. I was able to get through it. My grandson is eleven. I worry about when he begins middle school and high school. I was bullied. I worry he will go through the same thing. I find myself lately asking if I might have caused this. Both are neurological. His brother recently was diagnosed as having ADHD.

[@salamatpoo]

This is a terrific and compassionate video and helped me to learn a lot. Just wanted to say, it's a little funny that your son is named Conan, and you resemble Conan O' Brien! I mean that as a compliment because Conan is terrific.

[@PLANETWATERMELON]

Your son is awesome. Question. Do you find that the most difficult people for your son are the workers/employees at places like school and childcare? I find that these people are surprizingly the least suppporting and helpful.

[@kollettebrogan-cannon7676]

Conan you are a great! Thank you for helping me! Xxx

[@citizensofheaven2987]

This vid did it for me. Today I’m going to be tested but i past this one. An I’m for-sure I’m autistic I’m in the dealing with not being like everyone else faze I guess ur vid helped a lot though. Thank you very much

[@davidgarciacooke337]

Thanks so much for your video. I have a 4'5 y/o little boy who "presents sings which are at the moment within the autistic spectrum". He says things but still doesn't converse. And when he sits at the table he doesn't stop moving just like your son in that video. You mentioned in another video that I watched that autistic kids can't "sit up properly at the table". Is this a fact? Excuse me if my English is not very clear. I am from Spain.

[@orionkelly]

Thanks David, I appreciate it. It’s not so much sitting up straight as an inability to sit still.

[@davidgarciacooke337]

@@orionkelly Ah! I understand now. Thank you.

[@casuallygame]

Conan Orion Conan Obrian😆💯

[@casuallygame]

that"s really cooll considering the likeness to Conan Obrian

[@itsAngona]

Great video. How old did your amazing son became fully verbal?

[@orionkelly]

Pretty early Marsha. His verbal language was always a strength.

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

Our son has struggled in school since the very beginning so preschool here in America and that's as long as we have been trying to find answers he was just diagnosed this month his in the 4th grade and our main issues are school they don't seem to know or aren't willing to change how they work with him he has aggressive out bursts one time he even tried to chock himself out how do u get schools to change or adapt their approach on working with ur kids that are autistic?

[@orionkelly]

You’re not alone with that struggle. All you can do is keep advocating for your son. He cannot be discriminated against because of his diagnosis (disability in the legal sense).

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

@@orionkelly thank u I am hoping now that he has his diagnosis things will get better but so far everything has been a struggle he was diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD before this and it unfortunately didn't make them change how they approach him, they basically pit him in the behavioral category basically saying that he was acting out for attention or he was being aggressive for other reasons and that he was not to be dealt with they would send him home but it was their response to him having a bad day or trying to explain his way that would set him into these behaviors that they didn't like so how is that his fault

[@ThePennyArcade]

If you’re in the states I would tell them you’re considering legal action. I’m pretty sure what they’re doing to your son could get them into loads of trouble.

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

@@ThePennyArcade we pulled him out in November and are doing online school program with him, he still doesn't enjoy school but the added stress is gone. Little by little we a getting him more into the new process. It's a struggle just having him in live classes but we hope we can get him to where we are able to get more done each day. But we are taking it slowly and helping him the best we can.

[@EMILY4DAYS]

Get an IEP and demand accommodations. I had my son moved to two different schools until we found would that would accommodate him and meet his needs. Our society doesn't have a lot of tolerance for "otherness" but thankfully there are laws that require public schools to accommodate and not discriminate. It's no easy feat to find a suitable fit, but don't stop trying. The basic structure of most schools is a one size fits all model, but that's ridiculous and doesn't meet the needs of children, neurotypical or neurodiverse.

[@kollettebrogan-cannon7676]

How can I help my son to be himself without the violent meltdowns. How can he self regulate

[@orionkelly]

It’s important to understand if your son is autistic having meltdowns is part of his normal self. Best advice that’s worked for me is learn what triggers him, what signs he displays when he’s becoming overwhelmed and introduce things that help him calm down. Every child is different.

[@kollettebrogan-cannon7676]

Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy so really prevention is the best course of action? How do you feel about theraplay? My son’s violent meltdowns are increasing to the point that he wakes in the night and has them. I’m only just realising how complex autism is. I just really want my son to be the best version of himself and to be happy x

[@orionkelly]

Kollette Brogan-Cannon every autistic person has individual strengths and challenges, in addition to requiring different support needs. So I can only share my experiences. For me a combination of prevention, sensory toys etc and medication are used. But you should consult your health care professional about ways to assist your son. I hope that helps.

[@kollettebrogan-cannon7676]

Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy thank you so much. Apologies for being so clueless

[@orionkelly]

Kollette Brogan-Cannon don’t be sorry. I’m happy to help.

[@anjachan]

not much of a fan of showing your kids.

[@emilysmith5360]

Then don’t watch the video.

[@anjachan]

@@emilysmith5360 this answer isnt smart. it still excist. there are pervert people out there for example. i personally wouldn't like to show them my kid.