Understanding Anxiety Triggers in Autistic People - Identifying Triggers & Causes

[@KeenanDenis]

I sit here crying (with relief) watching this video. I was privately assessed Autistic in September 2017 and that was it - no support, no advice, no follow-up, nothing. My whole life I've been alone and lost and confused. But now I have found my tribe. Thank you, Orion.

[@heedmydemands]

It's so nice to find them. I hope you are doing okay. Taking care of yourself is a real trick

[@PlanetEarthLifeSkills]

Welcome! You are perfectly normal - for an autistic person! I'm not sure who said it (please help me out folks!) You can not judge a fish by how well he climbs a tree. Okay, maybe I'm paraphrasing, but you can't continuously be judged by a scale you don't fit on, and NOT be affected. Another suggestion? It is far better to be a unique one of a kind original than to attempt to be a cheap, scared imitation. You are here because the world needs YOU.

[@heedmydemands]

@@PlanetEarthLifeSkills yeah you can only ever be a second rate somebody else but u can be a first rate u

[@kayjay-kreations]

Same for me diagnosed at 58 no follow up no support just a book list…….read 15 books watched countless u tube presentations Orion is excellent and makes me feel less alone.

[@kayjay-kreations]

We are so similar in so many ways Orion

[@HolldollMcG]

Something to note about anxiety is it's not just unpleasant feelings of discomfort, it can lead to crippling confusion and overwhelm. So while it's never appropriate or realistic to tell someone to just push thru their anxiety, it's vital to understand that now there's huge confusion that causes us to freeze and be unable to function until we've had enough time and safe space to process the anxiety and confusion. It ain't just stress, we're overloaded and stuck.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

Love this insightful comment❤

[@bunnyboo6295]

Yeah, overload and stuck describes how I been feeling for a few years how do I get out of it. Can't function until main problem is fix yet so stuck in making a decision on what to do. I can't work nor do anything else but stress about to the point of just not wanting to even wake up. The thing is mentioned it to someone they get angry not sure why asking for help is inappropriate, but everyone only gets mad about the inaction claiming I must do for self-first for anyone to help well if i I could have.

[@ciaraskeleton]

Very true. Especially since a lot of us struggle to define emotions or explain them! My anxiety ranges from normal to impending doom everything's wrong I'm going to die 😂 and being Autistic, stress physically impacts me. I'll start getting sick, mentally and physically. I just shut down. It's not just an emotional thing for us, it impacts our whole lives.

[@rhyanonstuddert7384]

It also manifests as physical symptoms too. Stomach upsets, chest pain, shaking, headaches. My anxiety was so bad that I went into hospital thinking there was something wrong with my heart, only to find out it was anxiety ( and also called an hypercondriac by the doctor, because I was anxious). It's definitely not just feels worried.

[@tinaureta9891]

How do you get through your anxiety?

[@rommycianci8326]

When my husband goes off on his own to visit family, he comes home amazed at all I've accomplished while home ALONE.... BY MYSELF.... WITHOUT HIM BUGGING THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.

[@biaberg3448]

Make him visit his family more often 😊

[@jackd.rifter3299]

Yes! The confrontation bit happens to me all the time. Neurotypical people tell me I'm arguing and being confrontational when I thought we were just sharing our perspectives or views on things, but I don't feel that we're arguing.

[@jenniferbutler1545]

Exactly

[@jackd.rifter3299]

@@jenniferbutler1545 I'm just "straightforward". I don't know how else to be. It just doesn't work in neurotypical social interactions I find, so I "script" to get by for everyday situations.

[@bunnyboo6295]

i like hearing different views

[@jackpijjin4088]

Right? Don't ask me for my opinion and then get pissy because I go in depth on whatever it is.

[@Christian-eb9nt]

One of my main anxiety triggers is anything to do with social media and being pressurised to go on them. They are weapons of mass distraction and sewers of narcissism and bullying for sociopaths and scammers. I can cope with KZbin but not the relentless self-promotion and coercion. That said (and incidentally a fellow Australian), I can accept Orion's authenticity and integrity and am grateful to him for his videos.

[@zenwolf1046]

So to boil down most of the triggers, is anything that makes me feel vulnerable. People have accused me so much of being a jerk for pointing out problems, saying im looking to make trouble, when im only trying to help solve a problem. I can see solutions to problems that most others can't. Also when I'm speaking about something I feel strongly about, I end up kind of scaring people. I have learned to keep a rather flat effect in my speach and mannerisms so I don't get push back.

[@yourmom2189]

I wish the world was a more accepting place for us. I wish we could be our autistic selves.

[@raven4090]

I've been accused of that too. It would be nice if they could appreciate helpfulness.

[@cornishmaid9138]

I hear you. At least on these sites we’ve found our tribe. Our people who understand each other. Where confessing our traits are not seen as weird. Much love to you all. ❤️

[@raven4090]

@@cornishmaid9138 Much love back ❤

[@cornishmaid9138]

@@raven4090 - Hey there Raven, good to hear from you again. Hope all is relatively good with you in our Aspie kind of way. ❤️

[@cecile-p]

Ambiguous language is my worst enemy ! Why don't people speak clearly ? And after, they say "You never listen to me !". Well, I do, I just don't understand what you want from me ! That was very important to say, thank you !

[@aslanmane]

Okay, that is soooo me!

[@cornishmaid9138]

The ambiguous thing! I drive people nuts by asking a myriad of questions. If I don’t ask I have no idea what exactly is wanted of me and my anxiety begins to escalate. The misunderstood thing? Yep, I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been told my intonation is wrong, or I worded it wrong. I haven’t got a darn clue what they mean. I get accused of being blunt, when it wasn’t my intention; I was just being truthful. Which in turn causes arguments as I find myself defending myself from being verbally attacked for something I didn’t realise I did wrong in the first place. Injustice/unfairness drives me nuts! 😄

[@lexiefate6815]

I relate heavily on the questions thing when I start jobs I tend to be the person who ask a lot of questions to be sure I’m doing something right and I notice this makes people upset for some reason and they talk crap about me because of it.

[@TheJayman236]

I’ve always known. Deep down I was wired differently. I grew up before the explosion of research on autism. I am in the beginning process of diagnosing and processing the fact that I may be. After taking several self evaluations and coming across your channel has opened my eyes so much more. And it’s like this puzzle piece appeared out of nowhere and fit perfectly. My past relationships my past experiences all made sense instantly and it was an immense wave of emotions. Emotions of finally understanding why I think the way. Relief. Fear. And worry to name a few. But overall it’s given me the confidence to try and seek a professional diagnosis for something I’ve felt since grade school. 24-25 years I’ve been feeling out of place. And now it all makes sense. Now it’s a journey of discovery and working on ways for me to cope with certain situations or changes in my life that trigger my emotional responses or lashing out.

[@PENH5428]

It’s like you dove into my mind, assessed what you saw and jumped out and gave a well written report . I relate so much to what you’ve said. I’ve always struggled with feeling like an outsider and unable to make genuine connections with people. I also struggled in school and was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in my early 20s. In my 30s, I was able to go to therapy for a bit and was introduced to the concept of childhood trauma and narc abuse (my dad). My therapist theorized that because of my N dad, I’ve developed low self worth, negative self talk, anxiety and a bad case of people pleasing lol. As a result of my dads poor treatment of me and my dysfunctional childhood, I’m now wired to gravitate to situations that recreate my childhood trauma ( my therapist thought my ex’s and my ‘friend’ group at the time were toxic/ narcs). At the time, it made sense. Fast fwd- thanks to youtube, I stumbled across CPTSD. That seemed to fit as well. Fast fwd again to present day, I’m recognizing that my extreme anxiety results in me exhibiting some of the same behaviors my dad has (no eye contact, feeling so overwhelmed that I snap at people who interrupt me when I’m focused in on something , extreme feelings of inadequacy resulting in me wanting to withdraw / disengage). I wondered if the lockdown and everything I experienced during the lock down was the catalyst for this outward change ( I’ve always felt like something was off internally, but I guess I’ve been masking my whole life up until lock down. Or maybe I’ve reached a new level of self awareness . ). Anyway- I asked my doc on Monday if I could get an evaluation and we’ll see how that goes . I’m exhausted being me. I’m currently 36, single, lonely af, burned out at work, and basically white knuckling it through life . I need something to change immediately. I don’t want to end up like my dad ( everyone hates him, he’s lonely and in his 70s, can’t hold a job and is dependent on his SS check along with me and my sister to pay his bills ) . I wonder if my dad is a narc, autistic or both . Sorry for the long ass comment. If you got this far, thank you for reading . And OP- thank you for sharing your story . I’ve never met anyone that has expressed feeling out of place /different in a way that I connect with. I haven’t been able to articulate it myself out of shame and embarrassment and the fear of being dismissed /invalidated. Best of luck in this new chapter of your life . I hope you find some peace.

[@BrickNewton]

I am undiagnosed but after spending time with my Autistic nephew for the first time around Christmas last year was a little scary as he reminded me of me at that age. So since then I have been taking tests and watching a ton of videos and realizing I definitely have strong traits, as well as maybe ADHD too. I am 47 and finally starting to understand myself and why I've felt broken all my life.

[@JamieMitchellDesign]

Great video mate. You just pointed out each and every one of my anxiety/meltdown triggers. I never realised other people go through what I go through. It’s somewhat a sense of relief.

[@orionkelly]

I’m grateful to hear that mate. Thanks for watching and commenting. I feel better knowing I’m not alone too.

[@cornishmaid9138]

Orion’s vlogs have literally saved my sanity. Glad you’re here too. 👍

[@relentlessrhythm2774]

Being given long lists of instructions at once is baffling!

[@amuelaasher4675]

I like going to appointments and new places to orient myself and to calm/relax myself

[@carcrazynik]

Thank you so much for doing what you do and making these videos. My whole life, I have been called rude or annoying. My dad yelling at me to calm down or stop talking about my main interest all the time. I've always been an outsider with no clue why but after binge watching a ton of your videos, I finally feel like there are other people like me. My father was a single dad and is very against doctors and medical professionals so I've never been tested for anything but thanks to your wonderful videos, I will be trying to make an appointment for getting myself tested for autism. You are helping so many people and I hope you keep making videos. You've gained a new subscriber in me. 🖤

[@biaberg3448]

Bless you ❤

[@jantaljaard835]

❤🎉😅

[@cynthiaswank6678]

Orion I want to thank you from the bottom of my soul for this video I've been in therapy for 35 yrs for major depression ptsd Ocd Add. I've always thought I was different from other humans never talked through school always said the wrong things social anxiety sensitivity issues. No medications are helping me now I know why I thought I was evil. You've saved my life I've been suicidal most my life. I never got better. It's hard at adult age to be diagnosed with high functioning Autism. I have every trait you mentioned I showed this to my husband and he said that's you to the T argumentative trying to fix everything etc. Sometimes we have to diagnose ourselves. I've been through about 6 theripists not one caught it. My brother was diagnosed and I thought I'm going to look into this and sure enough I've found my calling ???? Lol Your a life saver. Have a great day on purpose unless you have other plans.

[@danielaruhl1710]

This ❤

[@rebeccamay6420]

❤ Some of us end up having to find out for ourselves, and when we do, it's like someone finally released the shackles and opened the prison door!

[@christinestromberg4057]

I have not been diagnosed as autistic, I may never be, but I do identify with an awful lot of what I see in these videos. I defnitely hate phone calls. I hate leaving the house, as you mentioned agoraphobia in the last video I watched. My biggest trigger is my daughter trying to make me sort out my home, getting rid of my "stuff", sell up, and move. I know that healthwise I need to move as this place is just not suitable any more but the whole thing just freaks me out. The fact that I have ME as well doesn't help, physically I can't cope with all that anyway. I just want to be left alone, preferably in the middle of nowhere. :)

[@brucedanton3669]

I know how you feel-I have all of that too. Autism; Phobias; ME; Diabetes; Anxiety; Depression; It is not nice to live with all these illnesses, but you do!! Thank you anyway of course-take care too.

[@brucedanton3669]

Thank you for that of course. No, it is not nice to live with these conditions really. I also have a hernia, gallstones, arthritis in the knee/leg, a lung nodule which can be painful, although I am on medicines from the Doctors for it. It is difficult really. Also I live on my own too. Perhaps in a way what makes it so too-I will be 55 in January, am male of course not female like many here, although really of course that does not matter at all somehow. However, it is nice to know-well in a way of sorts-that others feel the way I do I guess really too.

[@brucedanton3669]

ME of course is also known as CFS by the way but is the same illness/condition though; Diabetes can be Insipidus or like mine Mellitus; in turn there are Types 1, or like mine Type 2 of course. Whatever, they alas are all conditions that can make you feel very badly ill at times. You pray for the best doctors and other healthcare people who know how to treat you; and in turn with the best medicines/treatment-I know really that I do though. I used to be on Insulin, but the Doctors said to come off it a few years ago now; however, I am on tablets for it though which are a must for sure of course.

[@DankMemer42013]

@@brucedanton3669 same here Bruce

[@brucedanton3669]

@@DankMemer42013 Thank you there of course for that too-I feel for you too as well.

[@MrPhilipn]

My parents drove me to a birthday party when i was five. I saw that everyone was playing a game of football! I didn't even get out of the car I asked dad to take me back home which they did. I can be socialable now if I have to be, but I do try to avoid small talk and after a few hours I'm very quiet and very tired. I wonder if it's because masking is exhausting 🤔

[@Ashley-om6zo]

I was diagnosed recently as autistic but I’ve been diagnosed with GAD since I was a child. I to this day have no idea what triggers my anxiety, it kind of just seems like everything lol. Honestly being diagnosed with autism made my anxiety worse. I kind of have to relearn who I am and get away from this idea that I’ll change one day. Also I find that since I’ve always tried to push through this anxiety I’ve conditioned myself to internalize everything and also put myself in uncomfortable situations to trick myself into feeling “normal” After watching the rest of the video I think you solved what my anxiety trigger is😂 my mind is full of neurotypical expectations and when I don’t meet them I feel like a failure. Especially as a parent I want to be the best and I feel like by shooting for that all I do is become a ball of anxiety

[@orionkelly]

I’m with you. You’re not alone.

[@BaskingInObscurity]

We moved so many times when I was little and then settled in a town with multiple military bases that I became accustomed young to having to meet new people and go new places. That doesn't mean it didn't create a lot of anxiety, but it sure helped to know from experience that USUALLY it would all eventually become familiar. I came to like exploring on my own and checking out new places alone. But I was rigid about plans until I rode Eurail for a month even though I had way too little cash to be doing that. I slept on the train with no particular itinerary; woke up someplace different; ate bread, fruit, and chocolate; even had quite a few fascinating conversations. More than once I misread a city name and took the wrong train only to end up sleeping in public places like a homeless person. I didn't enjoy THAT, but the overall experience was cathartic and enriching.. I still prefer to watch other people rather than interact. I love to travel to see new places, new beautiful things, try new foods, read new languages. In those ways I defy autistic stereotypes, so I am grateful that my mom and grandparents for teaching us kids to enjoy trying new foods. Of COURSE, I still have issues with certain textures and flavors; because I'm seriously highly sensitive. I freeze less, too (the flight or flight or freeze response). Every single other thing in the video was spot on, though. In fact the communication clarity-or lack thereof-has been the worst. I've done some pretty dumb things or misunderstood casual small talk as definitive information, lost jobs over it. I also tend to make a lot of observations out loud and talk to myself about things I realize I need or should do, while the neurotypicals around me think I'm being passive aggressive though I'm just stating observations.

[@AleksPTA]

I am so glad to have found your channel, and by finding your channel, I am finding my eldest son and myself

[@sonoftorin]

Just the other day I was talking to a friend over text. She’s an NT mom of an adult autistic child. I was sharing some of my struggles and questions and asking whether I should get diagnosed. Her answer was I should quit making excuses and playing the victim and figure out workarounds like I have the rest of my adult life. Thank you, Orion. I find your videos validating and actually helpful, and not just, “Well, sucks to be you. Figure shit out on your own, asshole.” You understand that autistic people need help that takes their autism into consideration. That’s why I think it’s important for every adult to be diagnosed if they have the means and everyone to advocate for expansion of testing and better and easier testing if they can. I don’t see any reason an IQ test needs to be a part of the assessment, for example. That’s just stupid. Im hoping to go back to school to work on these goals but that’s a long road, living in the US. Anyway, thanks again for what you do! It’s definitely making a difference!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Your videos look GREAT and I love the presentation. It flows so smoothly. Also, you seem so kind. Thank you for dedicating your time to advocating for people like us!

[@orionkelly]

That means so much. You’re doing an amazing job putting out so much incredible content. You’re going to be massive!

[@danielaruhl1710]

I‘d love to see a collaboration of you two! ❤

[@ProfMcGonaGil]

This is literally my husband. Every single thing you list are struggles we’ve encountered. For some we’ve figured out adjustments to make things easier, for some we continue to butt heads. This is SO helpful for me to understand him better. He is such a fun, passionate, and accepting person. Absolutely my best friend. And knowing how to keep him comfortable and to ask him for what I need is beyond helpful, I can’t even tell you. Thank you for everything you do!

[@rebeccamay6420]

@laurathejacques I hear you! This video accurately describes my husband too. After recently discovering that I have struggled through life because of autism, and then soaking up as much info from several #actuallyautistic KZbin channels, I started noticing that my husband has many autistic traits as well! Social Anxiety tops the list.

[@donna6376]

I've always enjoyed and shared the books, Amelia Bedelia.., because I've always understood her LOL

[@supersonictumbleweed]

In other video Orion said that autistic person's brain doesn't see big picture but the most important task is here and now, the one that's on about right now. Now imagine that's also true when stressing out about something, when we stress, we stress thoroughly!

[@WhoKnowsZombie]

This is crazy, everything you said is me to a T. I didn’t realize that others struggled with anxiety this much too

[@cornishmaid9138]

Thanks Orion. You are precious to so many of us by sharing your knowledge so candidly. 👍👏

[@RandomJane104]

I chose not to have children. I now recognize that it's because I'm probably autistic. Too much imposition on required alone time and too much noise and unpredictability. Consider that some people who choose not to have children aren't necessarily selfish or bad. They just know their own limits.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

Me to

[@fionam7768]

Sweetheart, I *promise* you, there are many many people to whom it will never have occurred to think that about you. I get that people - probably people who were pretty important or significant to you- who have said that to you. Doesn't make them right. Doesn't mean everyone else thinks it, even if that person said they do. Maybe there's even a lot of people around you, in your life or life or the places you go, to whom having kids is THE most important thing, and they can't understand a choice not to. Actually I think them saying that is pretty rude: whatever their reason, this sort of decision is seldom made lightly. If that's what you have decided, whatever your reason, it's a good decision. If more people were more honest about the time they were prepared to put in to their children, the attention kids need, the demands on a day-to-day basis, fewer children would need Child Services. I'm really proud of you, and your decision, and I'm sorry someone thought you needed them to tell you their opinion of it. Personally, I think you rock 🤩🤩🤩

[@exhaustedpunk1477]

Same. People assume that I hate children when I actually really like them and it's because of that that I do not want them to go through even a fraction of all the bullshit that I went through growing up. There is too much uncertainty. I cannot promise to be a good carer because sometimes I cannot even take care of myself and my own needs in a healthy or consistent manner. I'm not naive enough to think that bringing a child into this world would force me to "make an effort" and "get better" as some have suggested to me; that path would certainly only end in disaster. Being responsible for another life and how it ends up being molded it's a great responsibility that unfortunately a huge load of people do not take with the seriousness it deserves, and for me it's more selfish and wrong to bring a child into this world just to do a half assed work at best raising and caring for them. We are not going to go extinct any time soon so it should not be treated as a requirement for the fulfillment of our lives.

[@mvdesigncustomworks5460]

I feel like I finally find someone that understands

[@ryleewood2959]

Thank you mate. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder level 2 ( moderate ) at the age of 27 years old, borderline personality disorder, anxiety and depression. I am now 31 years old and I face all these triggers. I have been watching all your videos and it makes me feel I am not alone. I thought I was fighting the battle alone but to know there are others that go through the same emotions means I do not feel alone. Your videos are so helpful and give so many people like myself comfort. Thank you ❤️❤️🙏🙏xx

[@carolienpollet804]

I had all of them this week. I started working in a new workplace and everyone expects so much from me. I had multiple meltdowns.

[@worldwidewebdot]

I can relate to your comment so much right now! Not, that I do everthing wrong, but also my coworkers got a angry speech from my chef because of me (rlly long story). I didnt know about it until they told me and now they are all angry at me. ... I want to cry and actually quit, but I cant. I hope the year goes by fast, so I can start at my old job again!!!

[@gaygato]

Hearing the anxiety triggers makes me think of times I had gone through situations like this. This video triggered my anxiety, but I enjoyed understanding it more

[@DankMemer42013]

You all bring positivity to my life when nothing seems right and nothing goes the way it’s supposed I know you all are here being extremely relatable. I appreciate you all for being you.

[@terrimeakin-rosario9189]

every single sentence is what i experience day to day. the thing about switching my voicemail to texting only is the most beautifully brilliant idea ive ever heard..ever! i will do that tomorrow.

[@amandamandamands]

So relatable, so often I will have someone say that I was so emotional/passionate when I was talking about a topic. No I was just making sure you understood fully. Agree talking on the phone shouldn't be a think especially if you don't know them.

[@madgrapho]

My eyes were a river watching this. Thanks

[@byron8657]

You hit it bullseye! The phonecall is the biggest anxiety trigger for undiagnosed autistic people like me and secondly the social gatherings I don’t enjoy it but i am force to attend it or im expected to attend it! But during the gathering I don’t feel comfortable being there im just an observer and I don’t want to draw too much attention! When attention is on me I just want to disappear and hide somewhere k!

[@higherground337]

Oh my God, Orion, are you my long lost twin brother? Thank you so much for this video! I'm self-diagnosed and have imposter syndrome so bad, but I relate to every single one of these. I feel SO called out by the phone thing. :P The only caveat is that I'm usually OK with new people and places as long as there's a structure. Like a cooking class, a hike, a book club meeting, etc. That's probably fine. If there's no structure, I'll need a friend I can cling to the whole time I'm there.

[@heedmydemands]

With me a place like the motor vehicle place is fine because I know everything will be clear and nobody is going to notice me, there won't be unexpected things and social interactions will be very structured

[@walaways]

The toilet thought is spot on

[@margaretbrown2604]

Thank you Orion! So validating, I am not alone! I appreciate your videos so much.

[@shiny6123]

Oh my!! I can relate to not wanting to answer the phone because I don’t know what they want or they are interfering with my self at the moment whatever it is, I just never knew how to express it or explain, but you said it very well.

[@BrickNewton]

When unknown caller appears on my phone it stresses me out, who is it, what do they want, must be something bad if they don't show their number.

[@rommycianci8326]

This video has solidified my belief that I am and always have been autistic.

[@dom1965able]

You are describing me, everything in this, wow, I can show other people, like my wife because I can't explain it to people. Thank you!!!!!!!

[@kathiarledge9275]

No official diagnosis here but every video you make fits me. You are very helpful.

[@newtuber4freedom43]

Oh my goodness. I relate to so much of your video. I am late diagnosed older female. I struggle at work with all of these things.

[@jim_jam_dseries]

Ambiguity in the workplace is so painful to try and work through. Especially when your challenges with it may be perceived as invalid or peculiar.

[@ko.ala.b]

THANK YOU!!!! i have never expected some other human would describe my whole inner tornado... all falls into place....

[@Joss0051]

Brilliant insight.

[@orionkelly]

Thanks so much.

[@isotope73]

I've been in survival mode for 4 decades and have not done or enjoyed my passions. I feel so dead inside. Everyone says, do what you love, it will make you feel better. Well, stress kills inspiration and I HAVE FORCED myself to practice/perform music and it definitely did NOT help. It just drained & disappointed me more. I'm so tired from my warehouse job, I just work/sleep/work/sleep so that at least I can (barely) keep a roof over my head. There's no quality of life and none on the horizon either. What a waste of a life. I'm 50. I'm so talented 😞yes, it enrages me.

[@MillillioN]

At 40 I can relate. I sometimes wonder when my life will begin.

[@bethenecampbell6463]

At 57 I also relate. I definitely have to force myself to get out there and do some things. My warehouse job is filled with anxiety inducing moments. Every day, all day. I've survived 17 years, but it's been a struggle. I'm exhausted. I'm able to get out to concerts and plays and it is fun. But I have to plan everything so I know what to expect. Like where to park and where the bathrooms are. The planning is one of the things I'm passionate about so the weeks planning a big vacation or the couple of days planning dinner and a concert are asmuch fun as the event. The internet has made that whole process much easier. I don't have to call up and talk to strangers!

[@jennifergauthier3282]

Great video, as always 😀 I can identify with so much of what you talk about. But also, with the internalized ableism that I can be guilty of myself. I appreciate, as always, your vulnerability and honesty.

[@dawnlivingston6236]

I am a 60 year old woman, 12 grandchildren. And I've never realized that I am pretty sure I am autistic. I identify with every single thing you say. I like to travel and see new places, but when I make the plan then I regret it because I start worrying about every little thing and maybe I would rather stay home LOL. The biggest thing is I have three autistic grandchildren. And I think my son who has two of them, I think he is autistic also. He's 34 years old. After watching your videos I tried to talk to him about it but I don't know what to do about it. I sent him your videos. Not sure if he's going to watch them. His life has been one big messed up one and I think it's because he's been autistic all this time and nobody knew. Thank you so much for your videos you've brought awareness to a lot of people. And I appreciate you so much 💖

[@zlarez4485]

I agree so heavily with the whole talking thing. Back in the days when we all chatted via Text, i was in touch with a lot of people. Nowadays everyone always wants to talk via phone or voice chat and it is so stressful. I cant handle it so I quit contact with most people especially friends that live further away.

[@BrickNewton]

Most of my friends and family use either text msgs, Facebook messenger or Whatsapp It's only Dad that calls, everyone else messages unless it's something major. I love it as I barely have any phone calls these days.

[@--mica.ology--]

Help. I'm at 11:30 and I deeply relate to EVERYTHING so far 😭 Like--In an "oh my gosh... But that's just how I work... Is that not how EVERYONE works/feels?" kinda way lol. I was recently given phone #s for psychiatrists, but I'm scared to call, so I've been avoiding it. The sense of validation & general-relatedness this video has given me helps me feel not-so-spooked :) Love your content; I'm so glad I found you a while back! ~ Much love! 🇺🇸💞🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[@margrain1]

Hi mate, i want to thank you for putting these videos out there for people to see and understand. I'm a 54 year old male who has always thought i was a little bit different, i don't have or really want any close friends, if people want to get close to me i ignore them and they eventually stop. I don't like being touched/hugged at all, as a child i used to chew every toy until it was useless, thanks to your videos ( which i can relate to 90% of the time ) i am seeing my GP about it tomorrow. Thanks again.

[@michaelpieper5908]

Ban the phone call! I hate the phone with a passion, and will avoid it where possible. I also often won't return phone calls. Great idea regarding voice greeting.

[@lolatJESS]

I'm not diagnosed....presumably *yet*. I'm on a waiting list to get tested for both asd/adhd. This video gave me another ounce of validation to my suspicions. One of my things growing up into adulthood has been telling people I'm the most anxious person you'll ever meet....it's anxiety over things people just don't understand. I'm finding they may be sensory related things, and things I thought were OCD may just be stimming. If I'm not diagnosed, I'll be shocked honestly.

[@kaleidojess]

It's like I'm always getting notifications right away for this channel ✨

[@claireharriman4985]

Yet another lightbulb video for me . Thank you I’m learning more about myself all the time

[@Chaos_God_of_Fate]

All your vidoes are Golden. I believe you have helped a lot of people. I wish these Videos and the awareness was where it is today 10-20 Years ago. Feels too late for me. Damn, that phone thing hit the Nail on the Head. I smashed my phone with a sledge hammer a couple weeks ago. It had just broken, screen was all garbled. I probably could have fixed it but I absolutely HATE HATE HATE phones. Felt great and I don't miss it but my family keep bothering me to get another one so... I guess I'll have to get another one :( Seems like everyone thinks a good conversation is an argument- people generally think I'm an asshole. =\ Thank God for making Cats, I have 2 and they always help put me in a better mood- just wish it would linger after the lovings! I doubt I'll ever be diagnosed- the Mental Health that's free (I have zero Money, ever) refused over and over to test me, though this was back in the 2000s. I know things are different now- they failed too many times and I just plain don't want to talk to people about this stuff anymore, talking doesn't help me at all and seems to usually make things worse. During COVID you had to do your crap over the phone (see above about phones ;-| ) and I really don't want to go to some Shrink's office to meet with them. Ya, I'm a pessimist- someone has to suffer so that others don't and I drew the short straw. Just waiting patiently for as long as I have to, thank God for Mortality, I don't have to endure this forever... That was quite a rant! Thanks for your patience if you made it this far!

[@roxymovie3938]

For me one of the biggest triggers is when the doorbell rings because a) the interruption b) the surprise c) the sensory issue of the bell d) the feeling of not feeling safe in my own space e) the upcoming questions, "Who the hell is disturbing me? What shall I say? Shall I open the door? Etc." When the doorbell rings, I nearly get a heartattack and I immediately freeze... Well, luckily my doorbell is broken since many months and the landlord has not repared it yet. That is such a blessing for me 😊

[@ginalibrizzi5204]

Thank you SOOO much for your suggestion in #1. I’m definitely going to change my VM greeting. Admittedly, I haven’t actually listened to my messages in a year and a half now...

[@quietcell]

I just turn the voicemail off! I started doing it about 10 years ago because VMs stressed me out and I never listened to them but having it creates an expectation that you will listen and I definitely definitely won't!

[@samanthamoreno6064]

I just wanted to say thank you Orion for posting these videos they are so helpful. My son is 18 and my family thinks he needs to be locked up and seek help. Or spank the autism out of him. But that's not true. Your videos shed light on so much. So thank you!!

[@davidspencer952]

Great video. I know how I react but didn't think about why I behaved that way. I would say most of the video describes me. Middle to top management don't like being challenged by saying they are incorrect and usually sack or make sure you don't get promotion. That's the lessen learnt recently. Starting a new job tomorrow will try to meditate through the day. That is ignore the sound and light and smile at all try to write there names down to remember later and take in my future task and functions. Will see how I feel after work? Anxiety in environment such as interviews and in meeting make me freeze forgetting words in subjects I am expert at. Well good luck all.

[@robynfromcanada]

This is a beautiful video, Orion! 🙌 I also enjoyed the "Invisible Disability" podcast. I keep reminding myself that every person's experience is different. Learning to talk about Autism, anxiety, mental health, and disability is crucial to bridging gaps! 🌈🌈🌈🌈

[@emilyvisser1804]

Wow I relate to every single one of these. Definitely feeling confused and overwhelmed causes anxiety for me too. I'm on a journey of getting a diagnosis if I even get one being a young adult female😅 I've had severe anxiety my whole life and have tried almost every treatment possible but still nothing seems to be working. This is part of the reason I'm thinking maybe it's actually the autism that's making me feel anxious all the time. I also relate to heaps of the symptoms/traits of a autistic female

[@sirgalah561]

Someone from work who doesn't ever experience panic attacks and anxiety tells me "oh.. its nothing.. its all in your head.. Just get over it.." 😠 She's got no idea.. I had surgery on Monday and was totally freaking out.. The hospital staff had to get me a sedative to calm me down before I even went in for the procedure... I hate it when people say "its ok.. its only in your head" "of course its in my head where else would it be?" "Doesn't help me though does it.. It's not like I can flick a switch and turn it off..." Grrr...

[@blob5907]

watch cute animal videos

[@PENH5428]

I relate . I know it’s in my head , but my mind is powerful!! Have you discovered any techniques to help self soothe?

[@christopherarmstrong2095]

Holy Hell! You are right on point, especially on Big personalities and loud people. I was diagnosed Borderline Personality but Autism feels more like what I identify with.

[@keyc.1109]

I am so going to show my husband parts of this video because you totally put words to what I can't explain

[@atlanticjem2012]

At the end you mention how when people point out our mistakes it causes anxiety because we are upset that we made the mistake. I feel it should be added... we're not upset at the person who pointed it out. Or that they said anything. It's just purely upset that we made that mistake and now we need to figure out how to fix it. I think people have felt afraid to point out my mistakes because they are worried about backlash or something. I might get upset. But not at them. It's just because I'm frustrated with myself for doing whatever I did wrong.

[@RyanDickey-lp3sn]

I so related to this video thank you so much for making this. I just turned 30 and was diagnosed with having autism 2 weeks ago. Your videos are comforting and help out a lot!

[@jamesgeary4294]

The task thing really resonated. Doesn't matter if it's a mundane task that I might even resent doing, don't interrupt me till it's done. I also hate having multiple tasks on my plate, as I get minor shutdowns just trying to organise them in my head, nevermind actually doing them.

[@travelservices1200]

This is all SO familiar. I'm sharing this!

[@rawr417]

I am so thankful to have found your channel, you have no idea!!! I watched your other video about feeling like a horrible husband and I showed my boyfriend it (who we believe is on the spectrum and I being a neurotypical female- both of us in our 30s) and he had tears coming down his cheeks because you literally talked about EVERYTHING he does as well! I mean, our jaws dropped! I think we finally have our answer as to why we have been the way we are (fighting constantly and thinking if we just need to end the relationship) but now, we have an understanding thanks to you. We now have made a commitment to watch 1 video a day to gain more clarity, and to work on our relationship instead of calling it quits, thank you SO much!!! ❤️

[@DankMemer42013]

Thank you for being there for him when he needs you most. You have no idea how much appreciation is on his part.

[@rainy.d7404]

My anxiety triggers are : Angry people, they make me feel unsafe. Interruptions to my daily routines upset me no end. Barking dogs especially at night time can aggravate me so much.( i love dogs btw). If I say hello to someone at my super market and they dont respond in their usual friendly manner my mind will ruminate for hours worrying and just fixating on that one interaction. Sometimes that rumination can last for days. Not having the food i want especially at dinner time. Some food textures can cause me frustration. Not having my own head space and having someone vent at me can causes me emotional burnout for days. I hate being alone but I need my own quiet head space and calm happy and safe place to comfort myself by engaging in my soothing hobbies i love to do. My happy safe place is like the forts we made with blankets when we were kids and we dreamed that it was our magical cave. We would fill it with cushions and use our torch to read fantasy stories about magical far away lands. Im like a big kid noone understands but some do people love me. Being misunderstood especially when i make jokes cos i feel anxious in certain situations and people dont get my weird sense of humour. Travelling causes me anxiety but i have halved the anxiety by keeping busy and doing crochet or something like that not looking at the moving traffic. When im sociably uncomfortable i say cringy things and then i feel mortified...i cant stop my mouth from saying those things...i call it my tourettes but i dont have tourettes but i blurt out silly things that make people look at me strangely. My husband laughs at my quirks but sometimes i get tired of feeling so odd and out of sorts. I get exhausted just by being out and about around people. Some days i dont care so much but there is always that lil emotional struggle each and every day. I would love to know what your happy place looks like as an autistic person Orion.

[@Sakichii]

I don’t know why this video made me cry, but I relate to every single one of those anxiety triggers. I just started watching some of your videos the other day and have been really getting a lot out of them. Thank you.

[@joannah1961]

Thank you so much for your videos! They have helped me understand myself and my daughter better. (both undiagnosed autistic)

[@maryanncerato-dominick]

Very very helpful. Thank you for providing a detailed explanation of the triggers as well. This is really helping me understand my responses and how I feel in many situations.

[@silverymoon5516]

So much helpful information. Thank-you keep up the good work.👏☺️

[@alexandraelfers7900]

While all this relates to me, the critical feedback part hits home to me for sure. Even in school, I don't read the comments that teachers write on graded homework. And I've had full on meltdowns at a job because of the feedback given to me. I'm not officially diagnosed with autism, but feel strongly that I do have it. All my life I have felt like an outsider and maybe this is why. I just don't know the first step to get diagnosed and if it's even worth it in the end.

[@terriem3922]

Trying to do everything at once. Instead, 1. Pick up item 1 2. Pick up item 2 3. Pick up item 3 Etc. Instead of pick up the room. ( I just don't know where to start).

[@andruhev1ch]

Can be summarised as anything to deal with uncertainty of the outcome causes anxiety.

[@MissHellfire]

OMG, thanx for explaining !

[@ccwilliams316]

Thank you. Your work as beautiful. I would like to see a video with the strengths.

[@blonze69]

Man!! 10/10, Orion!! It feels as if you have spoken on my spoken and unspoken anxieties!! It feels so good to get on channels like yours and feel heard, seen, relatable, and understood. This makes me feel joy on the inside, validated, and acknowledged, so please, please dont stop posting. Keep up the good work! Sadly, sometimes, it also evokes a sense of grief, deep hurt, and a pain that often makes me cry.. I wish I could find the right words, or expression, example to help "they," and "them" to get it- it feels crushing!! But after the tears have ceased to flow I feel better because at least I know that I'm not alone by far!! There are so many others out there just like me, that see, understand, and can relate .. Thanks for being our voice, Orion!! You are brave. I applaud you

[@pw510577w]

I can be surrounded by people e.g. on public transport or at a party but I'm still alone.

[@kenfowler1980]

I have had all of those triggers at sometime or other watching this video has been so enlightening! Thankyou

[@saffsholistichealth]

Orion your a legend your videos are truly so correct and relatable and helpful and don't feel bad about the ending alone time! I'm not even a parent and I usually need hours by myself! Plus I usually feel others emotions SO STRONGLY

[@saffsholistichealth]

Correction *needing* alone time

[@TheMisterSvensson]

Big fat check on all those triggers. ✔️ I'm 50, still undiagnosed but clearly autistic. This channel have been a huge puzzle piece in opening my eyes to what my lifelong feeling of being different is rooted in. Everything brought up about the triggers, the stimming, the social interactions etc. etc. everything is like listening to the story of my life. Now my question is; what would be the pros and cons for me in getting officially diagnosed at my age?

[@rommycianci8326]

Not even half way through this video and I'm sighing heavily.... I rarely have time to enjoy my passion of creativity... I obsessively collect items related to my passions in hopes of "some day" bringing them to fruition. And, yes, I'm endlessly anxious.

[@ciaraskeleton]

You are the best Autism advocate around at the moment. So many times recently i have not had the words to explain and ive been able to forward a video of yours to family, friends, keyworkers etc and you essentially explain for me. The way youre able to go through every topic in detail, in a way that both ND people and non Autistic people can understand. Its keeping me afloat during this time ❤ Ps i think about how much i NEED alone time and then i think about yourself and others who have partners, children, homes and responsibility and i have so much admiration! How do you guys do it? Youre amazing for that. Your family is so bloody lucky!

[@richoneplanet7561]

Your content continues to fascinate me both because I'm learning about autism but also because even non-autistic people like me share the same thoughts as well. Thank you ! Really appreciate your content. Cheers

[@Yagendaas]

I'm herre just being s little overwhelmed. I've never experienced such a sense of kin. My emotional and intellectual responses are so, so, so similar to yours Orion.

[@Gandalf_the_quantum_G]

Luckywise I do not have any trouble with phone calls. I just get overwhelmed sometimes, when I'm at a new place, like making a city trip and it's too much information at once in one place. I don't get anxiety when I'm in a bar or get to know new people, even I almost always come across as a bit weird and funny. Additional I don't have a problem with changing routines, just if I get interrupted in one, that's not cool to me. But I used to get anxiety like shit in former times, but since I made so many positive experiences with getting into contact with people, I don't have it anymore. They are mostly friendly and many are insecure about theirselfs, I realized that if you just act like you don't care about, if they killed someone or if they stole this morning the newspaper of the neighbor, they feel oftentimes relieved and start to share more and feel more comfortable. What I just can't handle is to to get interrupted in my plans. Well, sometimes it's okay, but I don't like it all. Edit: About structure etc: What I found out, that works great with me is to have every day a small notebook with me, in which I always write on top: What useful could I do next? And then I start in the morning and write always just one task on it. Then the next one. Then the next one. That works great for me.

[@murrayrosehg]

Another Pearler of a Video, Orion :-D. Thank You!

[@darby9196]

Man im so glad i found ypur video. Im very similar to you and the feeling actions we have. I thought there was somthing wrkng with me and only me. I now need to find a doctor to address this with me. Where im from i cznt find q doc that know about adult autism. Sorry for the ramble. Thanks for the video i learned about myself not being alone. 😁

[@claudiapeet1835]

I have never related to a video of yours more than this one. It hit home for me, as an Autistic person, in so many ways. One: phone calls. This is something I personally relate to as well; they give me anxiety well after the phone call is done too! Two: All of what you were saying about change and new places and people. It's a big sensory trigger for me as well to come into a room full of people, loud music and just expected to socialize on top of it. Definite overload. Under number 9, you talked about neurotypicals giving out observations in disguise as directions, I felt that completely because my mom does it all the time to me and I often never understood why she couldn't just ask me directly. Three: When you were talking about tone and how often you get misunderstood, I completely understand that feeling -- you are not the only one. It's quite exhausting to be misunderstood all the time by people around you. I often feel lonely in that regard. Honestly, hearing you talk about the gaslighting and being patronized as an Autistic person hit home for me because even by my parents and the people I've been in relationships with have gaslit me and I was left feeling confused, like I did something wrong. Strong personalities and reactions also hit home for me, possibly the exact reason why I feel uncomfortable around my dad. He's always been one to illustrate his POV with moving his hands around and talking loudly to emphasize his points in a story. I was always taken aback by his strong voice and personality that I feel more comfortable being on my own or around other people who make me feel comfortable, like you were saying. I have never been a fan of travelling, so hearing you relate to that as well is comforting. Airports SUCK like you said, they are a huge sensory overload trigger for me and everything you are supposed to do and pay attention to is overwhelming to even think about. Sure, for neurotypical people it can be a lot, but for me, travelling in itself, as an Autistic person is my personal hell. Thank you so, so much for making this video, Orion. You are amazing and I really appreciate you reading this if you get around to it. I always look forward to your videos and love hearing what you have to say.

[@orionkelly]

Thanks Claudia, I appreciate it.

[@garyglibbery5983]

I so need to get diagnosed. So many things I relate to

[@kalonakitu]

once again, i relate sooo much with this video. thanks for helping me to better understand myself through your informative videos.

[@johnbillings5260]

I genuinely laughed out loud at the toys example. The more I watch these videos the more I see the patterns in my own mind. I haven't been diagnosed, but all of the tests I have taken show a high probability and there was/is definitely neurodiversity in other family members. I think the only thing it would afford me to know is being able to tell myself it's ok to not adhere to a neurotypical world and to take breaks when I know I need to.

[@carlo6912]

WOW, I can relate on all examples given but I am not diagnosed.

[@AquaPeet]

You did a wonderful job. The way you explain, how thorough you are, how lively you present that makes it interesting, easy to follow and enjoyable to watch!