6 Weirdos Who Challenged You To a Race (And Then Cheated Ridiculously)

[@outsidextra]

Here's to the randos in games who interrupted your time-sensitive world-saving quest to insist on a race. We curse you all. Can you think of any we missed? Shout in the comments if so, and enjoy!

[@Ty-zh8kb]

Hi guys! I know this has nothing to do with the video, but this is the earliest I've been to a video. So I thought it'd be the only time a comment of mine would be seen. I love you guys and especially the "choose your own adventures" that have been missing from the weekends. Luke does the horroresc ones so well, I think he'd make a great GM for Call of Cuthulhu. Stay handsome Andy. Love the cats Ellen. :).

[@adamtheawesome9779]

What about Majoras Mask where you have to follow the butler to get the mask of scents.

[@outsidextra]

Thank you! :)

[@adamtheawesome9779]

@@outsidextra Also thanks for being the best KZbin channel.

[@KandiKid87]

Let’s not forget about Piantissimo from Super Mario Sunshine.

[@georgesears934]

To be fair, it makes sense that the guy who’s already dead doesn’t really care about your mission to save the world. It’s not like he’s got a dog in that race.

[@ShadowQuickpaw]

Well, he does have a ghost and a few fireballs in it...

[@zesstrin00]

"It's a graveyard Link, there is a piece of heart in every grave" i almost die to this

[@jons6834]

Anyone else see the spoiler warning section and think " wait, they made aTitanic game???" Anyone?

[@burningapeable]

I did play Adventure Out Of Time when I was a wee lad and point and click games aren't known for their amazing racing segments. But upon googling, there's a new one coming out (Honor and Glory) and it looks so damn good!

[@ceceliaacaba2739]

Yeah I was like What the hell? There was a game?!

[@SpaceFoxo]

They have a Titanic game? And it has RACING?

[@Kibetha]

Yeah, I wasn't so surprised about the Titanic game part... more the part where they were having some inane little time trial in the corridors in the middle of one of the greatest ever human tragedies.

[@charmedrools1]

i watch jontron so no xD

[@allxyouxneedxforever]

Luke: "... who takes care of the Kokiri villiage cemetery." Me: DO YOU EVEN GAME, BRUV?

[@varizza]

How on earth do you you guys make a video about racing without Mike? Are you locking him somewhere? Where is he?

[@Sableagle]

My guess is that he hasn't stopped playing and replaying the race section long enough to make a video yet.

[@DrakeAurum]

To be fair, it's a video about being reluctant to race. That may be a tough concept for Mike.

[@Spence1115]

They tried but the video came out at over 4 hours long, and it just didn't work.

[@mattcyr2022]

#freeMike

[@aloneintherain29]

It's also possible they challenged Mike to a race but then he cheated... ridiculously.

[@KizuRai]

"It's a graveyard, Link. There's a piece of heart in _every_ grave." OH MY GOD. THAT TOOK ME 5 SECONDS BUT I WAS ON THE FLOOR.

[@andymcp4752]

"Ok ghost, we just need to collect a blood sample.." *walls start bleeding* "Ple-please stop.."

[@jembozaba4864]

Ellen finally got to tell a pun without being booed by Andy. She must feel so proud.

[@Kilojoules]

spoiler screen: ocarina of time me: what, the Epona race? that wasn't so bad. *three minutes later Luke: Dampe the gravekeeper me: oh, I repressed this, didn't I?

[@crowqueenamps]

Speaking of the Epona races, in Ocarina of Time 3D, I happily cheated in both races. So am I the weirdo that wanted to race in this case?

[@crowqueenamps]

@@ichijofestival2576 Don't remind me. The amount of set up and close calls will leave me scarred.

[@Kilojoules]

@@ichijofestival2576 I'm having flashbacks, guys. This, the gerudo fortress, and that dammed water temple.

[@MuffinHunterX]

+Kilojoules Same. I _had_ blocked most of that out.

[@digitool5944]

I would have guessed the running man

[@dajasonjr97]

When I saw Ocarina of Time I was expecting the running man side quest because that guy can bend time on his own. Dampe wasn't all that bad

[@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor]

Yeah. It's physically impossible to beat him, irregardless of how fast you are.

[@preciousrogue1833]

"One spectre in particular proves a SPECTACularly unfair opponent" - slow clap to Luke for managing not to get booed, specifically, by Andy for that beauty

[@John_Smith.]

Andy was too busy getting his trousers ripped off.

[@megawix1227]

Spectacular achievement

[@LadyViscera]

Booed, like a ghost. I'll show myself out.

[@toonbat]

At least they didn't go with "SPOOKtacularly"

[@eemmzzz]

I thought Luke was a Zelda fan... Kokiri instead of Kakariko? For shame!

[@kingofgames2894]

Wait, what about the biggest racing cheater in OOT? The running guy, who you LITERALLY CAN NOT BEAT.

[@brendan9734]

He doesn’t even move. He’s just there when you get to the end.

[@Arkhamfreak217]

Kingofgames but he beats you on foot. If anything you cheat and he obliterates you.

[@jkli0_597]

when i was small i always tried to win the race

[@recklessrex]

Oh good, Tiny Ellen's back. I was getting worried.

[@PristianoPenaldoSUIIII]

Nier Automata is just filled with machines that blow themselves up when they fail at their one purpose. I think Yoko Taro could do with a word

[@devin8367]

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking this

[@qty1315]

To be honest, I think that the robot who explode after giving a speech about their purpose might be a reference to Dark Star. That, or the creators of the game watched Dark Star. Watch Dark Star, it might have the best sci-fi movie ending ever.

[@mrbuchanan6305]

suicide after loss of honour ... not japanese at all

[@Twilightmia]

Tobi from Okami, The hazards don’t affect him but you know Amy still is :3

[@kaylawolfie1111]

Ill take Tobi over Kai.

[@incitossol]

Cheating is only fair when I’m doing it damnit!!

[@christopherdempsey3878]

Incitos Sol HAX!!!

[@gyre9160]

Oh hello there

[@mentalpopcorn2304]

Cheating is only fair when it’s in school

[@flowersniffin9233]

XD

[@balls4053]

Exactly

[@jackguin2352]

that penguin race was the kind of minigame that had me taking a years-long break from mario64

[@scarysob]

"Poor Trevor" .....two words I never thought would ever be used together.

[@williamfalls]

I use those two words, but in opposite order. "Trevor's Poor"

[@recklessrex]

What about Neville Longbottom's toad Trever? Neville almost lost him at the start of first year. Can you imagine what a traumatic experience that was for the little guy? Poor Trever....

[@PixelRoserade]

RecklessRex eh, on pottermore, if you look at trevor's page, he kind of enjoyed his little journey. the only bit that really traumatized him was the chocolate frogs.

[@sonic3235]

I think she's easy to beat

[@Sol-mr1lv]

Luckily the police let Andy go so he could do the last entry of the video

[@grinanmarchand]

You would think the Hero of Time would be good at time trials

[@brendan9734]

The Hero of Time Trials The Triforce of speed The Faster Sword

[@foldedphoenix5251]

Booooooo

[@insaincaldo]

Do it Link! It'll be easy, he doesn't have any legs.

[@ericcurrier9215]

The egg bandits from Spyro! They give themselves quite the head start, for sure.

[@CaitlinRC]

"Time-Sensitive World Saving" is a stretch here guys. I've seen all the weird things you guys do instead of progressing the story!

[@jeffybear5547]

Yeto and (especially) Yeta from Twilight Princess. No matter how far ahead you were, she was always right behind you. And that last turn... GRRR!

[@diredinosaus]

Big Penguin? Does that mean that Luke is Tall Human? And Andy Stealthy Human? Would I be Overthinking Human? That's probably enough KZbin for today...

[@jackkreanxx2935]

Ellen would be wannabe queen human. Jane would sociopath human. Mike would be awkward human.

[@aemj9277.]

What about the Chocobo Race in FFX? I swear that game just wanted you to break your nice things while trying to get those celestial weapons.

[@zanrath91]

Final fantasy 10? Final fantasy 7 called.

[@Kibetha]

No no no, I actually raced at the Gold Saucer for fun. The wobbly chocobo races nearly managed to make me hate chocobos for the rest of my life. And that is seriously an achievement.

[@aesuradracaheorte3585]

@kibetha it is possible though, unlike chocobo race under remiem temple

[@TheLoobiedoobie]

The chocobo races in 7 were actually really easy once you got the hang of them. The few in 10 in the Calm Lands and at Remiem are suuuch a pain you're almost better off customizing something great instead.

[@InfernallyCapricious]

The only time I've ever gotten angry with a videogame. 51 tries with so many 0:0:1 times that it just made me hate everything.

[@McDDcM]

Ellen's t-shirt makes her look so aristocatic.

[@423chriscampbell]

It just made my Marie day.

[@FlossyBottoms]

Booo!

[@griff9288]

I thought her choice of shirt was a cat-astrophe

[@Geek-LDS]

Meow.

[@Kilojoules]

@@griff9288 how could mew say something like that? Ellen's shirt makes ME want to be a cat!

[@dubya13207]

The polar bear from Banjo Kazooie? Or Wizpig. Always Wizpig

[@seanregnier9997]

Cloud cookoo land, canary Mary, banjo tooie

[@julianmitchell2186]

So Luke and Andy are just trading pants all the time? Or are they both walking around pantless frantically looking for pants before they shoot?

[@PatrickLongblkwhtrbbt]

Before they- I'm gonna go have a lie down

[@RuefulCenturion]

Luke and Andy fanfiction anyone? 😆

[@JanAside]

I think we both know why they need pants but it they know we're on to them they'll send Jane after us.

[@TheB]

Before they shoot? Look at the evidence - Andy gets arrested for losing his pants, then immediately after at 11:10 does his entry on the list, but it's clearly cleverly shot to not show below his waist where we can only assume he is pantless. The more you know.

[@Sableagle]

I can sort of sympathise with Andy here. One time, a man in a van pulled up next to me, said he was a police officer and told me to get in, and I had no trousers on. I'm not sure how Andy managed to get those things out of sequence, but I suppose the end result's the same. Bite down hard, keep running and don't look back, and yes Tequila will get that taste out of your mouth. It tastes *worse* but it works.

[@zachgamemaster3329]

Canary Mary from Banjo-Tooie. She has you race her four times. The problem comes when she decides to rubber band if you get too far ahead of you, almost like she's taking it seriously.

[@sergeantsnuggles7433]

The chocobo race in FFX in which to win you have to finish with a time of 0 seconds (by collecting balloons that stop the timer) whilst dodging a harem of homing pigeons

[@undizz1]

Was expecting The Running Man from Zelda-OoT, but I guess Dampe works as well.

[@j.ackermann9110]

You can't even beat the running man without cheating so I guess thats not a valid race...

[@annana6098]

@@j.ackermann9110 I saw someone data mine the game, even if you instantly teleport to the finish line, he'll be there already, say you made it in 00 seconds but he still beat you! He literally does not have dialogue to admit defeat, his victory declaration will include an error because he's trying to subtract one second from 00 seconds. Nintendo is on record saying you can't win against him, they just wanted to challenge people to get around faster apparently.

[@emilygoodman6853]

I was thinking about the Gorman bros. Also, the goron race in majora mask.

[@neveroddoreven6597]

You can’t beat him.

[@aaronyandell2929]

Big Penguin gets a major boost in speed during the second half of the race as well. I shit you not.

[@simongreve]

What about the deadbeat polarbear-dad who challenges you to a sled race in banjo-kazooie instead of taking care of his 3 kids crying at home.

[@brendan9734]

Did that one hit too close to home perhaps? Learn from this. Don’t leave your kids if you have any.

[@charmedrools1]

bro. that one was easy, start the race by rolling into the turbo trainers, then stay anout 3 feet behind him until you're going past the area where bottles teaches you beak bomb. overtake him and win 1st try. if you want a banjo race to hate. then hate Canary Mary in Cloud Coocoo Land...

[@medusathedecepticon]

GlitchKing I think the bird lady is worst

[@AkanoWire]

@@charmedrools1 lol, just let mary be close behind you, thats just enough, shes programmed with rubberbandmechanic ^^

[@argylega]

It wasn't a required race, but that Chocobo balloon race in FFX is responsible for the only time I destroyed a controller out of frustration at a game. Threw it on the floor and it shattered. Never tried that race again. ;)

[@cherrycurry404]

what about Il Piantisimo from Mario Sunshine, The running man from Ocarina of Time got so bored of racing link, that he went to Isle Delfino to race Mario

[@MegamanXfan21xx]

He didn't cheat.

[@cherrycurry404]

@@MegamanXfan21xx fair, but it still is p weird race, some dude dressed as a paints who just kinda shows up and forces you to race

[@Bluesit32]

@@MegamanXfan21xx Yeah, he does. He starts running before you can even move. And then he calls you a pokey little flab biscut!

[@heydukewhatup]

Yeah but he was easy to beat though! I just used the super slide to go faster.

[@geofff.3343]

Kakariko Village. Kokiri Village would be in the Kokiri Woods. Do we need to sic Jane on you, Luke?

[@fullmetalarshole]

If you’re worried about spoilers in Super Mario 64. Stop.

[@kyrickanderson1628]

You forgot the bosses from Crash Team Racing. The face that they have unlimited ammo always made me mad as a child

[@Kumquat_Lord]

I'm sorry, did you say kokiri village? It's KAKARIKO village

[@OriginalPiMan]

I spotted that too. I choose to believe no one at OXtra has played OoT.

[@hibryd1]

@@OriginalPiMan Or any LoZ games made in the last 20 years, considering Kakariko appears in most titles released since LttP

[@josiemcmillan5012]

FOR SHAME

[@WildFyr]

I came down to the comments just to make sure other people got ut

[@talltroll7092]

No-one learns to speak the moon-runes unless they want to play imported H-games "for the story", and get the secret ending where the player characters' imouto joins in too

[@dirgecry2047]

Hippo Paul in Final Fantasy 9? His mom keeps challenging the children in your team to a race against him. While a war for the fate of the world is kicking into high gear.

[@varunchaturvedi2581]

I wonder how you're going to spoil Titanic......... EDIT: Right, got it.

[@mnArqal93]

Don't know, but I have a sinking feeling that it will be about one of the main characters.

[@Astfgl]

Spoiler: the ship sinks.

[@IamaPERSON]

Spoiler: Lots of people die.

[@marhawkman303]

Spoiler: they do a Discovery channel documentary on the ship decades alter

[@elkarlo1593]

Spoiler: Titenic.

[@iner22]

Freaking Canary Mary from Banjo-Tooie. If you beat all of her races without a turbo controller, you're my hero.

[@BlueFenix01]

Sees Mario 64 in the spoilers list yet no mention of Mario Sunshine. il piantissimo and his callous name calling will never be forgotten.

[@alexkuhn5188]

IL Piantissimo from Super Mario Sunshine, that guy is so annoying because the moment you get close to him he forces you into a race and you have to do all kinds of crazy jumps and tricks just to stay ahead of him. The dude jumps up to a ledge that you have to perform wall jumps to get to.

[@terreliv]

9:55 "Jack Attack! A Story In The TITANIC MULTIVERSE By Luke Westaway Content: * Beginning pg. 1 * Sentient ship pg. 25 * Space landing?/ending? pg. 173

[@mattball8622]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the real MVP.

[@davidmoore1253]

I think it's Space Wedding.

[@alexengland2432]

I thought it said space lions

[@JoshuaEisenbart]

pg 194 Time travelling back into the past to save rose out of guilt. pg 238 She runs off with some guy who is still her age. pg 311 Jack hangs himself pg 312 Rose tries to save Jack pg 316 Elderly porno.

[@brianlewolfhunt]

Spyro: Ripto's Rage, in the desert world there is one genie who asks to race you, except not only does he ask you to do it three times before he rewards you but he is also flying on a magic carpet and chucking fireballs at you. Not only that, but if you lose a race he will laugh at you.

[@mondothegrunt7649]

Wait... You can spoil Mario 64?

[@brendan9734]

You save Peach at the end and Mario gets a kiss on the cheek.

[@aesuradracaheorte3585]

nose, she kisses his huge nose in sm64

[@brendan9734]

Wow f*cking spoilers.

[@LongPeter]

I swear in Diddy Kong racing every single boss is a creature not known for speed that cheats off the line. You race an octopus, a triceratops and a walrus!

[@SwaySilva]

Luke! Kakariko!! Not Kokiri! You’re better than that friend!

[@bigpmp883]

You forgot Donkey Kong 64. With that bug you have to race on three separate occasions as Tiny kong, with the last one even giving him a sizable head start!

[@raevmanigotnoskills5837]

KAKARIKO! NOT KOKIRI VILLAGE!!!!! T_T

[@anthonyferrer186]

>calling them idiots Maybe you should make your own funny videos and the correct info. And black jack and hookers.

[@raevmanigotnoskills5837]

Correcting them is one thing, but there's no need to harass them... everyone makes mistakes xD

[@francatcreations6324]

Oh Luke.. he will never live this one down 😂

[@exophotogenics8491]

I'm glad someone else noticed this

[@mattball8622]

I came to the comments to see who made the angriest one about that. I don't know why. I think I'm a masochist.

[@lonelyenola4944]

I can't believe the scarab race from Donkey Kong 64 wasn't on here; an hour and a half and like 60 plus tries and I was ready to do violence like no one has ever done violence before.

[@ionlyeatbrainsdummy9858]

AC (can't remember which one) had random races with ppl, and I absolutely despised them!

[@humanityisshit7067]

It was brotherhood the thieves guild

[@Jamescush]

The "Young At Heart" race....oh how I hate you.

[@ionlyeatbrainsdummy9858]

@@Jamescush - word

[@humanityisshit7067]

@@Jamescush I raged so much on that one lol

[@robertagu5533]

AC: Brotherhood and the Carnival in Italy during AC2 respectively. Plenty of cheesy races with little or nothing to do with majority of them games

[@mr.potato1049]

"Yeah yeah get in a van" James is clearly an experienced officer

[@CucumberSadness]

Pretty much every game I play someone challenges me to a race. But I am always quicker. Like in Fallout when the raiders who were just in a gunfight start to run, full speed to the horizon, but I can outrun them and bash their heads in with an axe. Or GTA, when I want to show a random NPC my shiny new Axe, they decide now will be a good time for a foot race, well, I am much faster and as victor I get to bash their head in with my shiny axe. In Skyrim, when the dragon tries to challenge you to a race, and they cheat by flying, I have to shout at them to tell them off, and then bash their head in with an axe as punishment. Playing Minecraft, the villagers even like to race around and they are fast, but not faster than my head bashing axe. Playing COD, my allies like to race to the front lines... but my axe likes to get their first. Even in real life, my Head Bashing Axe and I are challenged to races by screaming citizens all the time. Thankfully, I am yet to meet anyone quicker than my axe.

[@Sableagle]

"I've got six little friends, and they all run faster than you." - some character played by that guy who was the older heart-throb doctor in that hospital series back then.

[@hunterjolliff7953]

When does a dragon challenge u to a race

[@hunterjolliff7953]

In Skyrim

[@supervegito1999]

Don't forget the Deku Butler in Majora's Mask. His race was a lot more difficult than Dampe's race.

[@Spence1115]

*sees Titanic in the game spoilers warning* "Huh?" *Luke makes random reference to Titanic ending* "Hah. Oh, wait." *realises the spoiler warning joke* *dies*

[@conormitchell309]

Was really surprised the Bug from DK64 wasn’t in here. Whenever it won its laughter made me so angry

[@TheGrackler]

Dampé the gravekeeper is positively fair compared to Ocarina’s other racers! Ingo races fairish, but locks winning Link up so he doesn’t have to make good, which is cheat-y enough. But the running man in Gerudo Valley, he *always* wins by one second somehow, the scoundrel!

[@melodycrossland5007]

There's a man waiting to race somewhere in Zelda breath of the wild, where you have to run up a hill and a bunch of chuchus spawn on the path

[@sailorswifty836]

in Crash Team Racing the last boss, Nitris Oxide, Starts before you get the green lights to go. he's such a cheater.

[@Cpc157968]

Not to mention the unlimited weapons from all previous bosses and perfect stats, s.o.b drove me crazy

[@chaos396]

Let us not forget Donkey Kong 64 and that accursed race against the beetle. Not only did he force you to collect a bunch of coins on the raceway for basically no reason, but he's so big he'll constantly hit you and knock out the coins you've collected to beat said race!

[@LordBloodraven]

Ellen Rose is the reason so many penguin species are becoming endangered.

[@yamatoundine3701]

I'm actually surprised the Chocobo race from FFX wasn't in this. Not only does the opponent start slightly before you can even get moving, you have fiends running towards you every step of the way and they don't have anything go after them

[@finris1]

CTR: Crash Team Racing's final boss, Nitros Oxide. Not only does he start the race seconds before you do, his speed is impossible to reach without speed boosting items or sabotaging him with items.

[@cptseagrave1191]

This is about people challenging you to a race in an out of context situation, like a cyborg in a post-apocalyptic future, not cheaty racers

[@magiclapras]

Plus, the track you race Oxide on has a shortcut that literally breaks the track in half.

[@ir0nc0wb0y7]

Anyone else find the face that Ellen does when she makes puns adorable?

[@dementedwarlock4375]

For the Big Penguin race. You technically could cheat and win against him. If your feeling lucky and if you can see the next part of the track below you, could slide off the side of the ice and try to land on the Ice track below. You would be ahead of the Big Penguin and win he won't accuse you of cheating either.

[@Zefar77]

Technically? You mean the strat that literally every speed runner is using.

[@sparrowflyaway]

For some reason he always considered that cheating for me. Am confused. Maybe I was doing it in the wrong spot.

[@dhoosty9368]

Donkey Kong 64. There's more than one. The giant Beetle, the talking go kart, and a giant vulture, all who you have to beat with the not-so-solid movement controls

[@Ashi8No8Yubi]

Yes, he takes care of the Kokiri village graveyard......... :P

[@misslilly7353]

The running man in zelda oot no matter how fast you are he always beats you by a second

[@facundofuentesyarballo2870]

Wait a moment, Ellen is back and instead of giving us an explanation she just tells us about some jerks we have to race in games?,I want an explanation dammit!

[@lightsideofsin8969]

You forgot Il Piantissimo from Mario Sunshine. Not only does he have a massive ego about his running, he also calls you fat when he beats you! He calls you a pokey little flab biscuit!

[@yozza5249]

Excuse me? No rocket mafia from hat in time? Im disappointed

[@TheFirstAifos]

Yozza 524 “At least Mafia will die fastest man alive!”

[@Fireluigi1]

That OOT race just dampe my mood. That penguin in the "shack" has a ice day when he wins.

[@ashleysmith3281]

I love Ellen's Shirt!

[@brendan9734]

You didn’t mention the running man from OoT? You LITERALLY can’t win against him! He doesn’t even move from his spot, but as soon as you reach the end of the race, he’s already there!

[@jamessandusky3623]

The psy-crow races in earthworm jim. Groovy they were not

[@Bluesit32]

Eh, those were easy. The race to Princess What's-Her-Name in Earthworm Jim 2, on the other hand...

[@darkhunter066]

The Goron race from Majoras mask is the one that got me

[@CoffeeFresh_]

The guy from gta vice city better be on here. I cant remember his name but you have to race him to do the Malibu club heists.

[@skinhead-ej8ff]

Coffee Fresh hilary.

[@undertakernumberone1]

And the best part is? You do it to hire him as a driver for the heist... WHERE HE ENDS UP GETTING KILLED AS SOON AS IT GETS HOT, LEAVING YOU TO DRIVE ANYWAY! MEANING THE WHOLE THING WAS POINTLESS!

[@nekrosis4431]

Hilary King

[@AdrianColley]

Hilary! He raced in a Sabre Turbo, while you had a Sentinel, and two stars. Little cheat! If the game had a choice of which heist gang member to lose, it would be him every time.

[@groundbreaker91]

Oh my god, that was literally the worst mission in the game. His car was faster than yours, it was indestructible, and the police always went after you during the race. Just so much rage surrounding that mission >_

[@keenanrowens]

What about Final Fantasy X The Chocobo Trainer race? I mean she locked onto those balloons and you end up getting hit by her heat seeking birds. "Tidus, you're the bench warmer now"

[@jub5386]

No beetle from donkey kong 64? Lame

[@bulbasaur15]

#001 And that stupid rabbit from the same game! God I hate them both!

[@SilentDecepticon]

That flipping beetle. And it made the most annoying sounds too. I had to walk away from the game for a bit because I was getting so mad.

[@thehorrorhound6575]

Michael Leggio god yeah I actually gave up for a couple days just to not break the cart lol

[@dragonsgaminghoard7531]

No mention of Skull Keeta from Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask? you wake him up with a song and he immediately starts to run without even letting you know there is a race going on. Plus he puts up barriers making you fight enemies to take them down all while he gets a major lead on you in a very short race.

[@zachharvey61]

What about Lamar in gta V? It's the first time you're in Los Santos in grand theft auto 5 and you're forced to race against Lamar. Who trash talks you the whole time even when you're infront.

[@Cool70sfreak]

Don't forget Final Fantasy IX, when, upon returning to Alexandria at the start of disc 3, a hippo lady asks you to race her son to get him more in shape, when you really have other things to do, like meet up with your friends and stop a psychotic codpiece-wearing villain from causing any more destruction.

[@IAmTheAce5]

“Baby penguin rotisserie”... mmm...

[@Sableagle]

I once knew a lady whose queen-size bed was three-quarters covered in cuddly toy penguins. Bowser would be well-advised to *LEAVE* *THE PENGUINS* *ALONE!* Otherwise he might upset her, and that would displease me.

[@tigressilva]

How did you guys forget Piantissimo from Super Mario Sunshine? Dude literally takes off running before you regain control of Mario.

[@WilliamAbelXIII]

Stunky from Pokepark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure I know it's not exactly a Race, but it's close enough and Stunky and Skuntank are my fav Pokémon....

[@brittical-hit]

I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that running dude from ocarina of time is harder than Dampe. You know, that guy who finishes the race five seconds before it starts or something.

[@respectableaf9061]

Don't be so piste off Ellen, at frost sight he might be intimitating, but Big Penguin is just a snow off.

[@Sableagle]

Pfff. Think that was clever? It didn't even rime.

[@marhawkman303]

BOO!!!, to Respectable AF, specifically.

[@木星からの脱出]

Booooo boo!

[@木星からの脱出]

Sableagle Why would it have to rhyme?

[@Sableagle]

www.google.com/images?q=rime+frost

[@Steve-YT383]

"It's a graveyard Link. There's a piece of heart in every grave." I lol-ed irl.

[@Nitrinoxus]

Pretty much every racer in Diddy Kong Racing. I swear, Wizpig hired someone to bury caltrops in the road before the race.

[@mentalpopcorn2304]

This makes no sense... you’re playing that game to race unlike all of these games

[@Nitrinoxus]

Doesn't make the racers any less of a group of weirdos who challenge you to a race (and then cheat ridiculously).

[@cptseagrave1191]

It's weirder for someone to challenge you to a race when the game isn't based around racing, and cheating has nothing to do with this list

[@Nitrinoxus]

A fair point, Captain.

[@cptseagrave1191]

I just realized I missed the (and cheated ridiculously) part of the title. My bad

[@MaxOfFewTrades]

So... No mention of Canary Mary from Banjo Tooie? One of the single most infuriating races in all of video game history?

[@timothymclean]

First! _starts deleting comments posted before mine_

[@ddsjgvk]

This guys first Everyone

[@dahelmang]

You are the 7th weirdo, congratulations.

[@nerdherder9340]

Clever

[@charmedrools1]

fourth! see how much everyone cares?

[@AliceBeth_]

Has anyone mentioned Spyro yet? That bloody egg thief was so annoying!

[@nelsonharrington9847]

The Chrono Trigger guy does not cheat as you can pull the same trick on him. And in a Post-Apocalyptic world why should there be rules?

[@Saturn185]

and i dont remember having to race him

[@MuffinHunterX]

I got pretty good at blocking him in the PS1 version.

[@Bluesit32]

He's still got a huge weight difference between going on. Lighter vehicles go faster...especially when one is a well maintained cybernetic bike body and the other is a just found in the junkyard craft thing...

[@sinteleon]

Also, it makes PERFECT sense that he would want to stop you. After, if you really do manage to prevent the apocalypse, what would happen to him?

[@anonymouswind1]

What about Piantissimo from Super Mario Sunshine? He even has a name picked out for you when you lose.

[@CyberneticHusky]

What about the races in crash 3 warped

[@jonnybatman007]

A nomination for Super Mario 64 but no mention for Koop the Quick? He's fine the first race but that second race is a right pain.