Over Two Months Sober From Years Of Alcohol Abuse and I’m Struggling! 🥃😓

[@andrewhazenberg3398]

I so completely relate to you Slayer . You are 100% brutally honest about how alcohol can literally highjack ones life . I totally wish you all the best in your recovery man! 🙏❤️👍

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thank you my friend!! 💯💪

[@TerryWade-xe8os]

It's hard watching you are likable and smart and it sucks.

[@Slayer-7373]

🙏🖤✊ I appreciate the love and actually care terry. Thank you my friend

[@eddiepulido9571]

One day you’ll get so tired of the poison and be done with it. I believe in you man

[@Slayer-7373]

I believe so too brother 🙏 thank you for your awesome words man.

[@magalicrutzen5554]

Crying (in sobriety) is actually an act of courage and part of the healing process. The courage to face emotions head on, and release them, instead of keeping them unprocessed. In which case they'll find an unhealthy way to burst out

[@Slayer-7373]

@@magalicrutzen5554 you’re absolutely right 🖤🥲, it’s good to cry.

[@Leo_Leo13]

Praying for you after hearing you’re in the hospital from LD’s video today. I agree getting the list of things that support sobriety is important. Eventually we all need to deal with our emotions and former addicts are really the only people I know that do the deep dive to really do that work thoroughly. You will come out the other end of this a better person than before.

[@Slayer-7373]

Thank you Leo, you’re right I just need to stay positive 🙏🖤

[@Micru866]

Hey Slay so nice to see you. Crying is therapeutic…don’t feel ashamed of it. Still watching your post.

[@Slayer-7373]

We all cry sometimes right? Much love micru. 🙏🖤

[@jeff67788]

These are the growing pains slayer. Stick with it. Love u

[@Slayer-7373]

I really like this Jeff!!! That’s exactly what it is. God bless brother! 💯

[@lizziebean7246]

Idk why you showed up on my algorithm but every word you said in this video was so spot on. I let go of all my distractions and the emotions have been taking my mind to crazy places. I replaced one vice with another one over and over again, even exercising became an addiction. But I haven’t had any distractions the last two months or so and it’s been a tough experience. Sleeping and crying is all I’ve been doing aside from work. It’s been really hard to pray. I can’t listen to music or podcasts, nothing. I’m trying not to feel guilty for not keeping up with prayer and the Bible like I used to. I don’t know who to talk to or where to go. I feel silly writing this comment honestly. I prayed to God for sobriety in all ways. This has been a growing pain, part of the process, part of my prayer being answered. Thank you for sharing your experience. The internet is a crazy place. I see the light and Jesus has been patient with me. God is forever faithful. I pray we focus our minds on God. Peace be with you. In Jesus name.

[@JCarm-LK785]

That's real talk...Amen..🙏❤️

[@Slayer-7373]

Don’t feel silly for this comment!!! I think we were meant to cross paths! Your comment shows me that I’m not alone and vice versa. It’s always awesome to see someone with faith too! We just need to stay the course and everything will work out. All things are possible through Christ and that’s true. Sometimes being patient is the Hardest part. Definitely focus on god and keep on the path, we will make it through!! God bless 🙏

[@lizziebean7246]

@@JCarm-LK785 Amen🙏

[@lizziebean7246]

@@Slayer-7373 Amen🙏 thank you

[@jennifermulholland9412]

So good to see you Slayer. You can do this you are a warrior ❤

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤💪 thank you Jennifer!! Good to see you too.

[@Redsnapper123]

6:35 heavy man, you’re no failure.

[@Slayer-7373]

🙏thanks man, thank you. Y’all are the best.

[@arobb2007]

Great to see you back Slayer and glad you're doing amazing my friend. I'm now a month and four days sober from the disgusting filthy hard liquor poison.

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thanks brother!! Also congratulations my friend… that is awesome man!!! It is a disgusting poison!! Let’s keep winning over that bottle.

[@salinaluna1879]

I’m so glad u put out this video. I struggle the same ways u do. I’m almost 2 months sober. Thanks for the raw, real content and God bless u and the work ur putting into everything u do!

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤thanks so much Salina!!! Congratulations on almost 2 months! That is awesome 👏 ! You are not alone remember that!

[@POWERFAN995]

Wassup men it’s good to see you back, I’m glad you being staying strong men because sometimes life will put you back in a situation you don’t want to be in

[@Slayer-7373]

What’s up bro, it’s good to be back man. Life can definitely throw some crazy stuff at us! Just gotta try our best with what we got and work our way up. God bless man 💯

[@esther4706]

Nice to see your face again! Really sorry to hear you've been feeling so down. Same here though. Don't know if it's the crappy weather? Just stay strong. You are still young! You have a hopefully long life ahead of you! Big hugs! 🥰

[@Slayer-7373]

Awe thank you!!! It’s good to be back!! The weather definitely doesn’t help. I’ve noticed that actually… it just makes things even more depressing. We will get through this. Much love 🖤

[@amandaflaherty7528]

Uggghhh... your getting choked up killed me. I feel like I'm watching my younger self, and my younger brother in combination going through so much grief, and I want to fix it for you! But I can't, and if I could, I know I shouldn't because these are the terrible growing pains that you have to learn to navigate. But you're doing great. I know that you will be okay because I believe in your strength, my friend. Know that you have support!!! You have this whole community that you built here and within that, friends who want to see you through this tough time. It's insane that you just posted this today bc I got worried enough to email you lol. Not that I thought you relapsed, but bc I remember going through the most intense anxiety and depression when I quit. There were so many new, old, and like you said, intensified things to juggle. But I had people checking on me so I wasn't alone in it. Idk how many people you have taking an active role in your corner in the real world... like the non KZbin world lol, but for what it's worth, you're not alone! All this love, strength and prayers for peace coming you way from NY, my friend!! ❤️❤️😊❤️❤️

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🖤Amanda you’re way too sweet!! You’re also a really good friend. If I’m having a bad day I can always go check one of your comments and it brightens my mood!! I appreciate you, thank you my friend!! 🙏🖤

[@amandaflaherty7528]

@Slayer-7373 I'm glad that they help. We're all in this together, my friend! Keep killin it 😁

[@amandaflaherty7528]

❤️🙏❤️

[@DATONEGAMER25]

Absolutely 🙏

[@adriangronewold7433]

Part of what makes this channel so great is being able to see the process. I know how much people resonate with the struggle that is apparent in your videos. Always remember that this process isn't for nothing because it helps the hundreds of people in your community in their battles as well 😊

[@Slayer-7373]

Your comments always bring a smile to my face bro, thank you. I hope you’re doing well and I mean that!!! ✊💯

[@jbenz1990]

Hoping you’re doing good brother I’m sure many were wondering where you were at if you were still sober. Hang in there man go to meetings talk to someone

[@Slayer-7373]

I’m doing better each day brother, thank you 🙏. One day at a time man we will get through this.

[@josephmenna3985]

I relate to u way more than u think. I was a complete loser alcoholic all 5 years of my undergrad. All my friends went on to live normal lives and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces. I’ve been sober for 6 years and I still can’t sleep well because I used to black out every single day for 4 years. Mild scarring on my liver & went into massive financial debt because of the ridiculous alcohol withdrawals I couldn’t quit using

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🖤🖤

[@Qui-Jon]

I’ve been clean right around 6 months now man my financial situation is at an all time high I’m actually present at family functions instead of just being a vessel I’m losing weight in a good way and mending relationships that I about destroyed in my drunkenness

[@Hunnie_B]

So sorry to hear that you are struggling Slayer, but every day is brand new and you and only you can choose the path you want to take........one day at a time, you can do it. And yes, hanging out with sober friends is key, I appreciate your honesty here, sending healthy vibes your way......peace out 🙏🙏

[@Slayer-7373]

Always appreciate you being here hunnie_b thank you!!! Every day is absolutely a new chance. One day at a time… all will be okay. 🙏

[@Hunnie_B]

@@Slayer-7373 🙏

[@harrybaker9044]

I am coming up to 3 months sober myself after a health scare which had me thinking that my liver was ruined. I had pain in the liver area and some other symptoms, so I went to the doctor and they sent me for a scan. I had the scan about a month ago and received the news that aside from some fatty deposits (which will go away with a change of diet), my liver is fine. I was amazed, I was certain that after almost 20 years of alcohol abuse I must've done some kind of damage. The liver really is an incredible organ. However, and I hate to admit this, the downside of this news is that in some way, some part of me has taken it as a renewed license to drink. The last few weeks have been an incredible struggle, the temptation is insane. I have to keep reminding myself what drinking inevitably leads to - physical health problems are only one part of a much bigger nightmarish picture. I will watch your video in full this evening Slayer, I know we will both stay strong and sober.

[@Slayer-7373]

Congratulations on 3 months Harry!!! That is awesome my friend!! I can relate to the good news actually making you want to drink too!!! Because your brain goes “oh…. Well, I’m healthy… guess I can keep drinking!” Trust me man don’t fall for it!! It’s all a trick. Exactly what you said it would only lead us both to a more nightmarish existence. Appreciate you for being here and watching my friend!! Bless 💯

[@i-love-an-alcoholic]

Great to hear from you ❤

[@Slayer-7373]

:) good to hear from you as well ILAA 🖤

[@yurisssecondaccount6674]

Over two months? I cant seem to make it more than 2 days, you're doing a lot better than I am

[@Micru866]

Just keep at it. 2 days will become 4 days and then 6. Just keep pushing forward.

[@Slayer-7373]

You will get there brother, we all get to it at our own times. Just don’t give up, god bless

[@yurisssecondaccount6674]

@@Slayer-7373 At least I am trying right? A while ago it was literally every day for about a month. I never wanna go back to that again, the withdrawal was awful. It also wastes so much money, i really resonate with you about wishing you never picked up the first drink. My life was actually not a complete mess before that

[@DATONEGAMER25]

You can get sober too man. It’s hard for all of us. But once you hit at least a month sober your mind will clear up and you will eventually feel so much better

[@eric-jr2nf]

I'm also a Christian struggling with trauma and addiction, tempted to drink to drown emotions, but I'm 3 months sober next week. Stay in there, handsome Slayer!

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey my friend!! Let’s not give in. We both know that very much what the devil would want us to do. “All things are possible through Christ” it’s true and simple. Anyways thanks brother 🙏 god bless.

[@Micru866]

Slayer - I’m so proud of you. What I see here is growth! You’re realizing that you matter and that’s so important. I know you have demons that haunt you…but you can’t let them win. You will come to terms that even ppl that we share dna with are not the best people for us. It’s crazy I know but it’s true. My opinion…which has proven itself. Look life is not a race…things will fall into place. Don’t compare your life with others, please don’t waste energy with that. You are making your mark in the world…more than most ever do in a lifetime. Appreciate you for your efforts and seeing the warnings. Don’t beat yourself up on the edibles or cigarettes. As long as you realize that’s not a habit you want to pick up. But you know what you didn’t do?? Pick up a bottle which will kill you. One last note, your body is readjusting don’t worry too much on what you’re feeling health wise. Im not saying don’t go get checked out. But our mind definitely makes symptoms 10000 times worse. Every day wake up and manifest that you’re feeling stronger and healthier. Flip the switch. I’m feeling great slay… enjoying the cold air in fl. Much love always.

[@Slayer-7373]

Awe micru thank you for being you!!! 🖤 this comment is spot on in every way. I’ve said it before but you have a way of waking me up with your comments and showing me the truth!!!! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time and actual care you put into your support for me. It’s awe-some. Much love 🖤

[@Micru866]

@Slayer-7373 I’m here with you all the way, not getting off the ride 😊. You don’t know how your words hit me deep in my heart ❤️. We’ll get thru this. Trust the process my friend.

[@Micru866]

@@Slayer-7373hey slayer hope you’re day is going well. Please don’t give any thought or time to the troll. That guy Ryan is always in the comments talking shit. Like bile shit. He’s not worth your energy, I won’t tell you what to do though. Just needed to get this out. Much love always my friend. 💜 💜

[@Slayer-7373]

@ 🖤awe thank you micru, I hope your day has been awesome yourself. Also I know I’ve seen him in other peoples comments lol, has nothing better to do I guess.

[@Micru866]

@ slay away- hit the block button. lol 😆 I hate negative and useless comments. That’s all and I don’t appreciate anyone coming at you with that BS. He’s said some shit directly to you in other vids. It makes the 🐂 in me come out ♉️.

[@shellye.1341]

It's a struggle, but you can do it. Stay strong and don't give up.

[@Slayer-7373]

I’ll make it through 🙏, you guys help with that. Thank you for your motivation:)

[@SpotlessLeopard]

What's happening is that you're not using your energy, so it's using you. Start with walking, and go far and fast. You'll notice endorphins kick in and you'll realise they're way, way better than booze. Start there, and keep doing it. Movement also helps thoughts be processed into solutions. Don't think about it. Just do it.

[@Slayer-7373]

100%!!! I need to get my A#% back in the gym!! And back in nature!!! Much love my friend and thank you for this comment!!! 🙏

[@Plan-C]

Mate. I hate to see you struggling! I am too atm. Only thing I can suggest is sleep through it if you have to. Rest if possible. Give yourself time to repair if you can.

[@Slayer-7373]

We will get through this brother… I’m sorry that you’re going through some hard times yourself. Sleep has definitely been my friend recently haha. One day at a time man. 🙏 and thank you as always bro.

[@thenowherevan7338]

Making these videos is keeping it real. You are gonna be okay little Bro. Hang in there, I love you man.

[@Slayer-7373]

Love you too brother and thank you man 🙏💯. God bless

[@colinnz]

Your definitely not a failure mate so get that out of your head. Im one of the lucky ones that gave up drinking cold Turkey and never touched it again so i cant imagine what your going through . ❤️ 💙

[@Slayer-7373]

Thank you my friend 🙏🖤. Congratulations on the sobriety as well.

[@Kristen10-22]

So happy to see u Slay!! Brb I ❤ u Life at this time is tough If we aren’t struggling we aren’t living

[@Slayer-7373]

Always good to see you Kristen!! I hope you’re well!! Also you know there is some truth to that I think. Struggling gives us purpose in ways… anyways much love 🙏

[@Kristen10-22]

@ it’s in the storm where God waits for us to call out to him.. God is busy trying to get us to need Him. Love ya

[@Kristen10-22]

@ God waits for us to turn our “mess” into a “blessing” Trust me I’ve been there and it’s worth every drop of pain. Once you find God in that empty hole He won’t ever leave your side

[@Kristen10-22]

John 5:1-5:13

[@euniquemorris1361]

I'm 27 days sober and I swear the 3rd week was the worst. I was depressed every day that week and would lash out at my husband. Thank goodness for his patience! Sleep was really bad as well. Hoping week 4 will be better. You will probably have another week of depression and it will hopefully go away. But you got this 💪❤️

[@claireviolatou3627]

Been thinking of you Slayer and hoping and waiting for you to feel better to update us. Hugs and positivity from Greece. 93 days here.

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🙏thanked so much Janice!!! Much love

[@CMoore8539]

Thumbs Up 👍 and Shared Out.❤ Love You Slayer!!

[@Slayer-7373]

Thanks cindy!! As always :) 🙏

[@Shun101010]

Yeah man, the guilt from having the first drink can put you in a self destructive state that makes you wanna continue having more to escape the guilt and shame. It's important to recognize, like you eluded to, when you're starting to feel those emotions that lead to the thoughts that are like "fuck it, I'm having one". Recognizing that it's just guilt and shame being weaponized by your brain to trick you into drinking is the tough part, but it's doable and it sounds like you're doing just that. Congrats on 2 months! The hardest part is almost over. After you feel less guilt, or at least come to terms with it, the rest is just about settling into a positive daily routine. Sounds to me like even though it's been tough these last few weeks for you, that you're doing amazing and making real progress and growth. Keep it up, man!

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey first off thank you as always brother!!! This is the 10th time I’ve said it but every time I see your profile pic I get hit with a burst of nostalgia 😂, I miss the game of thrones days. Anyways tho yea man 100%, it really is about understanding those mental boundaries. Knowing how to smash that thought when it appears. I do believe this is one of the hardest time periods for one to stay sober. The real test, but it’s possible and doable. One day at a time my friend 🙏

[@Shun101010]

@@Slayer-7373 Haha! A man believes in you! If a man can choose to remain sober during these holiday times, he can overcome anything.

[@Mmoose712]

Prayers Slayer, great video! Great advice, don't look in the rear view mirror. There's no point. We can't undo the things we've done, and we can't undo the things that have been done to us. We just have to find a light and move forward

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🙏 thanks as always angela :) u always speak truth.

[@seg6629]

Love you I been with you from the start and will forever be

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🥲awe seg yes you have been!!! I appreciate you.

[@Slayer-7373]

Love right back to ya 🙏🖤

[@kezrolg]

Thank you Slayer. Im sober and watch your videos daily. You're an inspiración and role model. Im a 34 year old father of an 8 month girl and 11 year old son. I look up to you. Im doing it for my family. Almost broke my 1 month stride of not smoking weed but a couple hits were not worth my sobriety.

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey man this honestly inspires me. Thank you brother 🙏. Hearing that you are getting clean for your family makes you a role model for me. Keep up the good work my friend, god bless.

[@gilesparker2369]

Makes my heart beat stronger seeing you 2 months clean. Well done man. We all know the struggle. 🙌 take care

[@Slayer-7373]

This is really awesome of you to say Giles, thank you brother. God bless and you take care as well. 🙏

[@terencehill3972]

Two months sober is phenomenal! Go Slayer, push through. Add one more month, until Christmas (where you could reward yourself a little bit - or not) ♥️💪🙌

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thanks Terrence 🙏!! I appreciate this brother. Also yes exactly haha, sometimes that’s how you have to think to get through. God bless my friend!

[@natsnikkii]

Hey Slay 🖤 sooo good to see you post and hear you’ve been staying sober! that’s so amazing!!! Man I teared up when you choked up💔 I wish I could pop thru the screen and give you a hug 🥲 I felt it in my soul when you said you wish you never picked up that first drink. I relate to everything you said & are going thru, so much. The guilt and shame EAT ME UP alive every day!. I’ve been escaping thru books and tv show but they can only help me escape to an extent. I’m so proud of you and admire you for pushing thru 💪🏽 You have what it takes & you deserve peace and happiness! Never give up! Sending you lots of love Slay🙏🏽🖤🖤🖤🖤

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey nat!!! So good to see you 🖤🫂!!! Thank you so much as always, I’m glad I put this video out. I can see that I’m not alone in these feelings and it also shows y’all that you aren’t. It’s so important for us to help one another even if it’s just having someone to relate to. Being an addict can almost feel like being an alien at times lol. Anyways thank you as always and much love 🖤

[@Redsnapper123]

Keep on keeping on. I agree don’t do stuff that might lead to relapse. Like going to parties and doing other stuff.

[@Slayer-7373]

One day at a time my friend! And I will stay away from that “funny business” haha. God bless

[@Redsnapper123]

@@Slayer-7373 I once was ‘only doing cocaine’. Then I ended up drinking a bottle of toffee vodka to counter the effects of paranoia from the drug. Quick way to start drinking again.

[@Slayer-7373]

@ that’s how it goes lol.

[@pittodrie19831]

Good to see you back Slayer. I get you, I also have some health issues going on. 5 weeks sober at the moment but because of the stress I've started to take some benzos to stop the worry resulting in me drinking again. Keep it up friend, stay strong.

[@Slayer-7373]

Good to be back my friend!!! We will both overcome these problems I have a feeling brother. Let’s both stay strong and keep doing what we know we gotta do. God bless bro 💯

[@akaixl83]

Stay strong… I’m 5 years sober , the first 2 years it was ups and downs for me. Mediation helped me and good solid friends. My doctor said for every year you drank it takes that many months , and that was about right for me. I hated the first year ups and downs anxiety panic attacks , mood swings it was crazy , hang in there bro !!👍

[@Slayer-7373]

First off congratulations on 5 years my friend!!! That is incredible and inspires me!! A lot of people with long term sobriety have told me that first year or two can be the toughest, but I’ve heard once you come through the other side it’s just absolutely beautiful. That’s what I’m aiming for and one day soon I’ll be there. Thank you bro and god bless 🙏. One day at a time.

[@DATONEGAMER25]

You’re not a failure man. You’re strong and you are currently sober and that’s a good thing. Don’t feel like a failure if you ever drink again you can always get back up. You’re strong. I’ve felt like a failure too and it’s not a great feeling. But you’re here. You were born. When life is born it’s a beautiful thing. Every winter the trees have shed their leaves and the world can look a bit gloomy and depressing at times. But spring always comes back and it’s beautiful. After I got off alcohol I did get hooked on Kratom for a while and finally quit that and went through the withdrawal. It’s always like we are looking for some substance to have fun with or to keep us relaxed from our depressing emotions. Do we need any substance? No. We don’t. It’s hard to be stone cold sober. But when you get completely sober for a while I believe life will gradually get better. It’s a tough road. I believe in you. 🙏

[@Slayer-7373]

Love ya brother, thank you for always being a good friend. Your story inspires me man and I can always relate. I will get to where I’m trying to be it just takes time and effort. Life will gradually get better as long as I stay on this road. 💯

[@Slayer-7373]

You’re also right man, life is beautiful.

[@debrah4241]

Peace of mind is every alcoholics ideal. Focus on the wins, keep going 💪

[@Slayer-7373]

Absolutely Debrah!! It’s what we are all looking for! 🙏

[@samusvikerness661]

Off topic but I love hearing about a Christian metal fan especially one that loves Slayer. Rock on bro. I’ve struggled with substance abuse too and music is such a huge part of my mental health. Huge metal fan too and I still pray to Jesus.

[@Slayer-7373]

Heck yea brother!!! Rock on 🤘 and praise Jesus 🙏 haha. Much love my friend!

[@oliviajohnston7216]

We love you slayer! Very true that bitterness is a deep, dark root that you have to pull up

[@Slayer-7373]

Love y’all too Olivia!! 🖤, also yes 100%.

[@Redsnapper123]

Just starting the vid now please don’t give in!

[@Slayer-7373]

Always good to see you here redsnapper!!! I’m staying strong brother! 💪

[@Redsnapper123]

@@Slayer-7373 🤛

[@davidlafond8327]

Hey Slayer! No shame in crying or showing emotion, especially when something is really troubling you! Sobriety is a daily struggle even for people who have gone years without drinking, but the early days are the hardest for sure! When those emotions that you’ve kept tucked away finally rise to the surface it can be overwhelming. You just can’t seem to get out of your own way or find the motivation to do anything because you’re so depressed, and it totally sucks! I am glad that you’re still sober though. I’m proud of you for that and you should be proud of yourself for that too, even if everything else isn’t going perfectly! Also, be careful not to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to others, that is a dangerous mindset! We are all different and are going through struggles in life. People who are seemingly successful and have careers, spouses, kids, etc. have problems that you may not know about. You’re still young, my dude! You’ve got plenty of untraveled road ahead of you. Take all the time you need to get your life sorted out, and there’s no need to rush into a relationship if you’re not ready! Take care of yourself brother! God bless! ❤

[@smittywerbenjagermanjensen6011]

Hey bro, good to hear from you again. I slightly slipped up but getting sober again. Thanks for your vids it’s actually super helpful

[@Slayer-7373]

What’s up smitty! Always good to see you here brother. Proud of you man for getting sober again, slip ups happen don’t let that define you. Just pick up your boots and keep pushing forward, take it one day at a time and take care of yourself. That’s all we can man. Also thank you!! Making these videos and talking to you guys helps me man it really does. God bless 💯

[@TysonJD2000]

Hey slayer ik what it feels like man. I too wish I had never had my first beer years and years ago. Took me 3 years to realize I have a problem and it wasn’t until I was first hospitalized that I found out i wasn’t just having that “bad hangover” I was withdrawing, the shakes, the sweats, the anxiety and the hallucinations. I was mixing drinking with benzos once (worst idea) and the comedown from that was brutal. Ended up having a seizure 3 days no sleep into my withdrawal. I recently had a bad relapse that put me in hospital again, but now here I am again in the beginning of sobriety. I went 3 months but life was just getting to me and I said screw it and had a drink. That 1 drink turned into a bad bender. Thankfully I’m still here and just wanna let u know I support u man. U got this.

[@Slayer-7373]

I appreciate this comment Tyson thank you brother 🙏, we will both get to where we want to be. Y’all really do inspire me and i appreciate it more than you know. That one drink ALWAYS turns into a bender… every single time.

[@miniharez]

Thing about addiction, is we get conditioned to instant gratification. If we had a bad day at work, how long does it take to go to the liquor store, walk in, pay for it, and have our first drink before we even leave the liquor store parking lot??? We can get a buzz going really fast to numb ourselves! thats how we conditioned ourselves. We didn’t learn that in order to deal with issues, that its not going to be a “quick fix”. Trust me all these feelings you have, I have had in early sobriety. From comparison to guilt, feeling like we should be way further along than we are. To still dealing with the trauma and betrayal that is so very fresh. But let me just pretend like Im you, sober you, that got in a time machine and made my way back to tell you, that all these things that you don’t think you can let go, YOU WILL. I can promise you, these things will not only not bother you, but you will actually be grateful for them and the wisdom you got from them! I know, sounds crazy to believe right? Well let me put it into perspective. when you were a little kid, how many things did you try to do that you couldn’t, or things you just couldn’t understand? Well what happened as you got older and kept learning and experiencing? you become smater and more capable. and one day all those things you couldn’t do or understand, you could now do them and Understand them! See right now you’re just that kid, frustrated and still trying to figure it out. But if you stay sober and keep working, how much do you think you will grow in that time, or even just ONE YEAR?! Just stick with it, through the pain, frustration, and uncertainty, and you will end up with more perspective and wisdom that you didn’t have at the beginning. You are a man of God, and FAITH is the equivalent to trusting in the process, to keep sobriety as your “North Star” and have faith it will lead you to where you want to be, and that things will fall into place when they are ready. And Sobriety is the Road to all of that. Trust your future sober self, all these things things that cause you pain right now, you will learn to let go of, and it will no longer afflict you. Just keep going and follow that Sobriety north star! We are all proud of you no matter what!🫡

[@Slayer-7373]

Loved this comment, thank you brother 🙏🙏. I’m gonna follow that North Star ⭐️

[@debbieporter6581]

Thank you for your honesty Slayer. I love you for the person you are and I pray for you every day. There will never be a day I don't reach out to you because your being in my life means so much. Thank you for being you. Don't put yourself down. You are so special. Keep your head up. God Bless you. 🙏🙏 Debbie All my love and support to you.

[@Slayer-7373]

🙏thank you Debbie!!! Always good to see you around. The love has been awesome!

[@jaf970]

Slayer. It's me man keep fighting I am not gonna give up on you. I have had delirium tremens to a less degree but I can see it coming. Please you are all I have.

[@Slayer-7373]

I’ll keep fighting brother 🙏, thank you man. Please be safe!!

[@megacatsupreme466]

Most ppl may not realize it, but 60 days is awesome. Only us alcoholics can understand how hard this journey can be.

[@jennaandfriendsanimalsanctuary]

Keep strong, Slayer!

[@Slayer-7373]

Will do my best Jenna!! One day at a time!! 🙏god bless

[@TerryWade-xe8os]

Music is good for the soul.

[@Slayer-7373]

Absolutely terry, it is good for the soul. 🙏

[@onlyme7308]

This 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💕. Keep talking, we got you. Guilt and shame, ville. I feel it too.

[@Slayer-7373]

Thanks only me! :) 🖤, always good to see you here. I notice that we can usually always all relate. Much more alike than we might realize. Much love!

[@image30p]

God bless you. I hope you stay well. I'm rooting for you.

[@Slayer-7373]

God bless you image!!! Thank you my friend!! I hope you’re doing well 🙏

[@scottericksonwasted]

Me too man.... But If I sit and think long and hard About the pain and agony of withdrawal I eventually talk myself out of it.

[@Slayer-7373]

That’s a great way to talk ourselves out of a relapse brother!!! God bless 🙏

[@justinkendell301]

Don't apologize man. Just because you give us inspiration doesn't mean that you owe us a video. You're the man for even giving a sliver of hope. Keep on doing you. Metal helps me more than anything. If I could bottle up that feeling of when a song hits me, then I wouldn't drink. Keep on doing you. You help more than you think

[@stephanielake8169]

You too cute for addiction ahha Congrats, keep it up!!

[@Slayer-7373]

Awe 🫢 thanks Stephanie!! That’s really sweet of you to say. One day at a time!! 🙏

[@stephanielake8169]

@ 💯💯💯 ☺️ looks like others agree with me!

[@MarkSilvester-g3j]

Hi Slayer - keep fighting son. I had a relapse 4-5 weeks ago on beer.. but I’m back fighting past 4 weeks.. you, like me have spent more time sober than drunk.. give yourself credit for that.. we alcoholics never believe in ourselves enough. I believe in YOU. Check this scripture.. about the fight the Apostle Paul had ..2 Corinthians 12 vs 7 to 10. 🙏🙏👍 “Silvo”(UK)🎸

[@Slayer-7373]

Congratulations brother on the 4 weeks!!!! You should be very proud of yourself my friend. It is hard to remind ourselves of that, way more sober time this year than being drunk. The relapses are just so bad tho it seems huge which it is. Thank you silvo I believe in you too brother ! I’ll look up that scripture now my friend. God bless

[@MarkSilvester-g3j]

So don’t forget as the scripture illustrates.. when we consider ourselves weak..we are actually strong. Things we come through.. create a spirit of endurance.- To KEEP going forward. You have been an encouragement to us all - we all fight from the same corner. Bless you and take care buddy! 🤗🙏 “ Silvo”

[@Slayer-7373]

@ that was absolutely beautiful scripture my friend. I sent that to my mom 🙏🙏

[@emmastarr3755]

Thanks for your Courage to Share!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Slayer-7373]

Thank you Emma 🖤

[@caesar349]

Slayer the legend! Great to see you back

[@Slayer-7373]

You are the legend my friend!!!! Glad to be back and to see you brother! 🙏

[@lukepowell5353]

Made my day slayer , keep slaying dude 😎 hope your feeling better soon brother 👊

[@Slayer-7373]

I always like seeing you here brother!!! I hope you’re doing well Luke!! 🙏🙏

[@lukepowell5353]

@Slayer-7373 sober today brother , hey if you get a chance please watch the documentary on KZbin called "Rain in my Heart" it's all to do with where this disease of alcoholism can take us if we don't decide to change before it's too late. Take care man.

[@theone-o4d]

Hey man I totally relate I’m dealing with the same thing. I remember my past, the things I’ve done, the things I could’ve done, and it makes me mad and sad as well. I also relate to how it seems like we’re behind while everyone else is ahead. I guess sobriety is a healing journey as well and this is just what we have to go through to heal. It fucking suck at times but it is what it is I guess we gotta go through it to get to it. I wish you all the best man you’re not alone we’ll get through it, we got this. God bless. Matthew 20:16 16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

[@Slayer-7373]

It is absolutely a healing journey brother and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but at the same time it brings some ease to my mind knowing someone can relate. God bless and amen to that scripture 🙏

[@phillipdavis8861]

I’m doing it now I fucking get it. Having love is hole different level. You conversation if you weren’t a little deep. I’m fucking proud of you and what you are doing

[@Slayer-7373]

🙏💯

[@ShadesOClarity]

Congrats. I have 5 months today. I haven't felt good mentally either. I feel the same way you do about the shame and things I can't fix or forget. Look at those videos with L.D. I did. I can only look to the future. Just stay away from it. Nothing is going to get better if you drink again.

[@Slayer-7373]

Congratulations on the 5 months shades!!! And thank you brotha!!! Keep your head held high my friend. We will get over this mountain and be better for it. You are 100% correct about drinking, it won’t solve sh%#. Never does. One day at a time my friend!

[@ShadesOClarity]

@@Slayer-7373 Stay on the straight path, my friend.

[@tomthiesfeld5035]

Hey slayer, I'm sorry your feeling this way. My man i will pray 🙏 for you and i really hope things get better for you. The devil sucks, but God loves you, and we do to. Hang in there bro.

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thank you brother!! The prayers and love are amazing. I love y’all too. The devil never stops man!! He’s got a full time job haha.

[@tomthiesfeld5035]

Yes, that is true. He's working overtime unfortunately 😢

[@JosephSoltis-u1u]

Love you man - I’m fucking everything up right now - hope to dig out soon

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey Joseph how are you doing brother? I’m sorry you’re going through this hell.

[@JosephSoltis-u1u]

@@Slayer-7373too late for today. But there is tomorrow. I’ll let you know if you don’t mind. Bless us all.

[@andreryan5808]

Slayer you should try listening 2 Enigma-Sadness Enigma-The Child In Us Era-Divano Gareth Emery - Saving Light Gareth Emery - You'll Be Ok You might do better in the Ambient/Trance music world, lol.

[@Slayer-7373]

Great suggestions Andre!! I will have to check these out! I couldn’t help but laugh at the end of your comment 😂, yea I think I should lay off the slayer and metal for a while. Much love my friend! 💯✊

[@danhemsworth7488]

Congrats on 2 months that's big

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thank you brother!! 🙏

[@krislic84]

I get this. This is 100% how it goes. Weeks of feeling so bad you wanna give up, and give in. It's good to admit you have made mistakes, we all have. What u went thru with is emotional and is terrible, but your message is clear, and no matter how bad it seems, you have to go on. I talk to my psychiatrist today, and I'm gonna ask about therapy, because my insurance can't seem to find me anyone in my area.

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey kris!!! So good to see you :). After uploading this and reading all of your guys comments it just shows me I’m not alone and this is all part of the process. Therapy is very helpful!!! I’ve been doing some therapy and it helps. Let me know how all of that goes! Much love 🖤

[@gisellealvarado1723]

I’m so sorry for all the struggles you go through, I hope you can stay strong, I hope you win this fight, much love to you🙏🏼

[@Slayer-7373]

Thank you Giselle 🙏🙏 I appreciate this :), much love back to you.

[@brians712]

Hell yeah! you can do it bro

[@Slayer-7373]

That’s the attitude Brian!! Thank you my friend!! 🙏

[@allisonsmith.03]

Honestly, it happens. Relapses are real. And it’s a tough process coming back from it. You’re not alone, hang in there…

[@Slayer-7373]

100% Allison, it’s all part of the process. I will get there in due time. Much love! 🙏

[@nidiaborge]

Give youself time and let go of the past that hurt you. Live your life, you're helping others through that but don't hurt yourself over the past, you can make your future BETTER. Some people and habits aren't for you beacuse you deserve better. We just don't know how to figure that out. Live today for is all that we have.

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🖤thank you nidia… we will both get through this!!! I know you’re struggling and having a hard time yourself. This is a battle, but it’s a battle we can win!

[@nidiaborge]

@@Slayer-7373 ❤

[@patdoit9103]

Thanks for this video Slayer I’m going through the same thing, this video makes me feel like Im not alone

[@Slayer-7373]

You are not alone brother!!! Thank you for watching and being part of this community!! It’s awesome to see all of us helping each other out. 🙏

[@ladyscarfaceangel4616]

It's OK to not be OK sometimes. I just turned 42 in October. I also learned my coping skills way late in life. It is much more difficult. Struggling is part of being human. I'm coming up on 3 years sober from everything except THC. I do smoke a lot of weed. None of us are perfect! At the time I got off methadone, I seen THC as the lesser evil & I did what I felt I had to do to get off of it. Even 3 years after stopping opiates, I still feel the need to have something. That's a real struggle! I can definitely relate! Learning to forgive ourselves isn't easy but it's something we need to do. I'm still working on forgiving myself for a lot of my mistakes & dumb choices. I basically pissed away my 20's & most of my 30's. I'll never get those years back. I try to be thankful everyday, as part of my spiritual time with God, of what I do have. That's just one way that's been helpful to me. Meditation & prayer can be very powerful & healing. It's just not easy to keep on track with it everyday. Not at first anyway. There isn't much in life that's worth doing that isn't challenging in the beginning however. Stay strong! 💜

[@Slayer-7373]

Loved this comment lady Scarface thank you!!! I have absolutely no problems with people being “Cali-sober” too!! Anything to save our lives and if that takes smoking some 🌱 then who cares?? Better than drinking poison. Y’all have really shown me the bright side of this whole thing and i appreciate it more than you know. 🖤🙏 thank you and one day at a time.

[@ladyscarfaceangel4616]

​@@Slayer-7373​ One day at a time, yes! Ha, ha, love the term Cali-sober! 😂 I'm not 100% sure I'll ever get to the point of not wanting that. At least my body can still function when I run out though. I may be crabby but that's about it for me. I'm not sicker than a dog with nervous system issues. I'm not thinking about harming myself for more. I don't need it when I wake up to do things. I don't have it, I don't have it. That's the way it works for me. Everyone's journey is different & personal. I do recognize that even THC can be an issue for some. I say do what works for you. The main thing is learning to recognize addiction patterns in anything. I mean anything.

[@MonaYY_Rig]

Slayer hi ! Good to see you. I’m sorry you are sad and I wish I could give you a big hug. 2 months is an accomplishment! Keep going and don’t beat yourself up because it might bring you down and have a slip. You got this one day at a time sweetie. Much love to you, Slay 💪🏻💪🏻🤟💚🤘🏻🤘🏻

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤🙏thanks so much Mona!!!! :)

[@phillipdavis8861]

Sorry dude should not have said what I did. You struggling and I am too. I don’t know why we this to ourselves but thank you for having balls

[@Slayer-7373]

Nah man no need to apologize you’re good.

[@Louise-o7b]

Great to see you! Congrats on 2 month, amazing ❤️🙏

[@Slayer-7373]

Good to see you as well my friend!! 🙏

[@LHM-fj7cj]

I watched a Bat Country video about him being tempted to drink. And he on purpose goes step by step of what would happen next and next until getting to where it WILL eventually lead… and did it solve whatever problem etc. This leads him back into sober life, that the answer is always no, it won’t help ever and it definitely will not end well. I thought it seemed like a thoughtful exercise. Pray for you daily my friend 🙏❤️.

[@Slayer-7373]

I really like this, thank you my friend and thank you also for the prayers. 🙏🖤

[@AdamMacharia-f2u]

😂delirium tremors helped me get over my ex. I was devastated, then I realised oh shit “seeing shadow people is way worse than some shawty leaving you”

[@Slayer-7373]

This comment cracked me up lol.

[@JormaX]

You can't solve all this just in a day or a week, it will take years, and that is completely fine. Don't be too harsh on yourself. This is a great journey where you will find and give love and true meaning. Drinking of course as you know won't fix anything. I am on the same boat as you and I am reaching 40 soon. Ive done completely the same things as you I know how your heart is broken and the shame is a real pain to meet. But we can do this. I think you should slow down for a bit... I tihnk I am now talking also to myself here. Do you enjoy sports? I started gym this year, never done excercise as much as I do now, it does not solve but it gives me meaning, (to take care of my precious body that I have been destroying with alcohol). If the gym is not for you, there are plenry of other things where you can connect with your mind and body. For a starter it is good to do things and have routines, but it is also good not to push yourself too hard while getting your life together. This video is honest and inspiring, dont take this channel for granted, you are doing great by having the courage to speak your mind honestly. I wish you the best...I subbed a few days ago and find your stories very relatable. It will definitely work out for you!

[@Slayer-7373]

Awesome comment Jorma thank you for this and thank you for subscribing too :) 🙏! I definitely need to get back in the gym!! Also back in nature again. I like playing football with friends and long boarding. It’s great to see how people can relate because it makes me feel way less alone. It inspires me to keep pushing forward. Awesome people like yourself are making that easier by the day!!! Much love and god bless. 💯

[@JackiePena-h4z]

Slayer so good to see you .. glad you are doing well?? Hang in there buddy . You got this. Take care of yourself friend .. We are all rooting for you.. be strong buddy. Don’t give in .. ❤❤❤ Slayer please don’t compare yourself to others.. we are all unique and God loves you for who YOU are .. not anyone else.. It makes sense that you would have trouble understanding & dealing with your ex cheating on you with your brother… give yourself time , to deal with it.. it will get better. ❤️‍🩹 😊

[@Slayer-7373]

🖤thank you Jackie as always!!! Your love abs support is noticed and appreciated. God bless you

[@Tracey..H]

Slayer. You're brutally honest, vulnerable and so self aware. It takes time to for your emotions to regulate and using any other drug ain't going to help, but hinder. I was praying for you and I felt the Holy Spirit really strong ( an unusual occurrence!) Jesus sees you! He is well aware… well aware. I was instantly healed on a barstool in 2000. I think I told you. But in another mistake, God took me through a process. If I had a billion dollars in 2000, and paid the best minds, the greatest rehabs, traveled to gurus, etc. I'd never have gotten sober. But Jesus just healed me???! I still don't get it bro.😂 it was LOVE! ;) And you are on my heart. I ask you to add WORSHIP. Find some worship and worship like Paul did in the prison and the walls broke down. Remember, and you said this yourself, WERE NOT FIGHTING FLESH AND BLOOD, but powers and principalities. Up you're spiritual game. Get others to pray. Your doing great. I believe you're going to make it. Don't be overwhelmed. Continued prayers bro. ❤

[@Slayer-7373]

This was beyond sweet Tracey!! Thank you so much and congratulations on not only the sobriety but for being saved!!! That’s amazing and I will take your advice/wisdom. God bless ya and thank you again!!! One day at a time. 🙏

[@Tracey..H]

@@Slayer-7373one day at a time! ;)

[@janetstadius1684]

That was before ...don't forget that. It's now, not before. What's done is done ✔️ Janet

[@Slayer-7373]

You’re 100% right Janet!!

[@Slapshot544]

Fuck man I feel you at 5:40. Well I feel you throughout the whole video but I was specifically thinking about that the other day after one of the last friends I have left bought a house with his girl. I know life is a marathon so I dont really compare myself to others like I used to and I aint a hater Im genuinely happy for my friend. But at the same time it still does mess with me to a certain degree because I used to hang out with this friend everyday in highschool yet 4 years after graduating we're living in 2 completely different worlds and it wasnt supposed to be like this for me I had serious goals in high school and my 18 year old self would be disgusted with the person I have become. But we cant change the past all we can do is focus on the present moment. Can't believe I let substances mess me up this bad I fuck with these videos fr they're valuable I see myself in you not everyone understands addiction they'll say "oh just quit" and even thought its the logical thing to do it aint that easy we turn to addictions because we're running from something we know we have to deal with but that instant gratification is too convenient

[@Slayer-7373]

Much love bro, I really liked this comment thank you for sharing and showing me I can relate. That’s one of the beautiful things about this channel for all of us is we can relate and help one another. Like you said we can’t change the past, we can’t go back. We are definitely running from something, sometimes we know what it is and sometimes we don’t. It’s a crazy process and journey that takes much work but I believe in us man. God bless and stay up bro! 🙏

[@Slapshot544]

​@@Slayer-7373Forgot to mention in my comment but congrats on 2 months brotha thats a huge step. Shit I been struggling to hit 2 weeks but I'm taking this day by day tomorrows always a new start

[@NorthStarGeneral]

Health is crucial and it's mad scary when things go wrong. I recently went 21 days without being able to breathe through my nose because of severe congestion. I finally went to the doctor and they helped me tremendously. Always seek expert counsel before giving up. Good luck .😾

[@Slayer-7373]

I will get into see a doctor hopefully tomorrow!! Get some of this figured out brother. 🙏

[@JCarm-LK785]

Yo!! Great to see you brother!! Stay strong brother!! Just focus on God and yourself...U ain't competing with anyone..I totally!!! Feel your pain and were coming from(spot on ..trust me.for real)... You'll get over this depression hump bro...We just gota stay stay off the alcohol ..don't trip on the edible slip up too much..I'm still sober..26 days(and hell yeah I've been tempted)..We all love you bro!! ..Imma pray for you...fasho🙏

[@ShadesOClarity]

Good on that sobriety, JCarm.

[@JCarm-LK785]

@ShadesOClarity Appreciate that Shades!! Sorry about that lil riff we had man..Sorry about that..

[@ShadesOClarity]

@@JCarm-LK785 No worries.

[@Slayer-7373]

What’s up big dawg!!! Congratulations on your sobriety my friend!! As always you come with the positivity and i appreciate that. I love y’all too and it’s like I’ve said before…. All things are possible through Christ. 💯 god bless man. One day at a time.

[@RichardChips]

slayer ive only drank 1 day this month, which i only did because i went out with two friends, one ended up buying beer for everyone so the most ive had this month is just four beers one day, which before i started taking this seriously it was 4 or more every day for year like ive said. im trying to get like you and get a month consistent. i dont have desire to drink again so hopefully i finish the month just one day.

[@Slayer-7373]

It’s been really cool to see your progress Richard!!! Keep going, don’t look back. Take baby steps if that’s what needs to be done but just keep pushing forward. God bless and be safe! 🙏

[@RichardChips]

@@Slayer-7373 thanks for making the videos bro

[@dwaynetitus2012]

I have experienced the same rut that your into right now brother this is your make or break period Slayer, this is temporary my friend the thing is brother you have just shifted out of 2nd gear into 3rd keep in mind 1st gear was the day that you realized you had a problem and quit (now that's a great thing and you should be proud of yourself) you have successfully cruised through 2nd gear ( anytime you stayed sober for 30 days or more) So, Slayer now you have shifted into 3rd gear buddy and congrads on that but this gear will have it's landmines and issues actually 3rd gear is the hardest to complete but I have faith in you and proud of you just as you should be proud of yourself. 3rd gear is when those DEMONS start to realize that they have to ruin everything that you worked so very hard for before you can hit the petal again they will use any trick and search for your weeks spots, SO grit your teeth and hang on until you hit that 4th gear, Please, Please believe me my friend now is the time to not stop your forward progress and shift back into REVERSE! That can and will destroy any chance for you to win this difficult race against this nasty disease it applies to any addition, but the good news is when you do finally hit that 4th gear those emotions and the temptations that those tricky DEMONS try so hard to make you fail start to lose their ability to weaken your determination and motivation to succeed on your journey of true sobriety they lose their strength and capabilities to reek havoc on your heart and soul even though this is a lifetime race you must remember that your the one who is behind the wheel of your heart and soul, you control you destiny. Now that's my recipe for winning this lifelong race against alcoholism and it does work I am going on year 6 of sobriety and I have hit the same walls your dealing with right now but I kept driving I did not give in no matter how hard I hit them. It was the best decision that I ever made when I threw that booze out of my life my friend, it may be hard at times Slayer but the rewards are greater than the work you put into getting sober. I offer these words to you only because I have confidence that you will keep trying, keep your eyes on that road and win your race too! I am here if you need a friend be safe brother, keep the faith ask God for help he is a great co-pilot in this race and be safe. Sorry this is so long I wanted to keep you on track and give you some hope maybe motivate you some. God Bless you and all your viewers and subscribers. DT sorry for any typo's

[@Slayer-7373]

Loved your analogy with the gears man, that was a beautiful way of putting it. I think you’re 100% right about this being the hardest phase. The biggest mountain to climb over is probably the first year or maybe even two!! Don’t ever apologize for the longer comments!!! They are always amazing, nothing but love and support and i appreciate that brother. Thank you 🙏 god bless!!

[@SimbolicProductions]

Happy you're staying sober. What are you going to do different this time?

[@Slayer-7373]

Hey thank you my friend!! 🙏🙏, I actually have a video all about what I’m currently doing to stay sober! Give it a look when you get a chance. God bless

[@bryanthomas6063]

And you aren’t a failure!!

[@Slayer-7373]

🙏🖤💪 thank you Bryan!!

[@lukepowell5353]

"Rain in my Heart" documentary on KZbin shows where this terrible disease of alcoholism can take us if we do not change before it is simply too late.

[@Slayer-7373]

I’ll have to check that out Luke!!

[@johnpyles3575]

Edibles and nicotine are fine (vape, don't smoke). What's the reason for quitting alcohol? To not die? To not have horrible hangovers or terrible accidents or make terrible decisions? The green stuff provides a little escapism without all those horrible side effects. I've been California-sober for three years and counting. Works just fine for me.

[@Slayer-7373]

Pretty much to not die yes, who knows maybe I could drink for another 40 years but it’s just not worth the risk. I have no problems with anyone who is Cali-sober!!! Congratulations to you my friend. Whatever it takes to save ourselves. 💯

[@donc.123]

_"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."_ ~ Confucius

[@Slayer-7373]

100% brother exactly!!