Overcoming Childhood Neglect | Pierre Ep 1

[@joanneking2889]

I am a survivor of neglect. I really get “I don’t deserve” / I don’t get to have. I don’t feel lovable, competent, safe, deserving. I can’t wait to go on this journey with you.

[@paultje4874]

Oh Pierre; i feel for you. I lived in a fantasyworld too. For me it was books and making up my own movies on my head as a coping mechanism. Growing up with such parents feels like a complete emptiness. As if no one is there. So lonely. Not having parents being there for you. I recognize the mind and understanding it with the ration. Processing it through the body is so important. How many times did I think I was done with therapy. But on the couch of my haptotherapist my body told another story. Getting in touch with it is painful. Meeting the child inside you that is hurting. That wants to be heard, seen and loved. Therapy is hard work and I hope it brings you where you can enjoy you and life again. You are worth it.

[@loobylouboti]

"How many times did I think I was done with therapy?" .... I feel you so much with this comment! I was just saying last week to my Bowen Therapist that just when you think you've gotten to the centre of the onion, you cut into it, and inside is a Russian doll! Ha! Gah!

[@paultje4874]

@@loobylouboti my therapist actually has a russian doll on his desk. He said once I am more a stone we are cutting of piece by piece, instead of an onion. Yes and I thought I was almost done with therapy to. But my mother recently died and her behavior the last 1/2 year was horrible. I wrote down all things my mother said to me when I was young and how she made me feel and now I am processing that. We spend years of therapy of my violent, abusive father. My mother however was mentally abusive and was never there for me. When something happened to me she even said: You probably brought it on yourself. It was forbidden to be mad at her. She was very manipulative, so I work on that now and we are tackling it. I hope to be done in 6 month. I hope.

[@loobylouboti]

@@paultje4874 A stone being cut off piece by piece?! I'm not sure I like the sound of that therapist! Lol Hmmm. 🤔 And wow, I'm sorry about all the hurt and trauma you've been through. That's really rough. I just feel so sad for people who really haven't had or been shown the love we all deserve, by those we are supposed to trust the most. I really hope you can work though all that and move forward. I mean one thing I would say, and that I just said to a friend who visited me a couple of weeks ago and who has just started therapy himself..I wouldn't put a timeline on healing. Best wishes to you. You didn't deserve the hand you were dealt. ❤️

[@paultje4874]

@@loobylouboti thank you for your kind words. There is indeed not a timeframe. I kind of accepted that with my disastrous childhood where I can tick allmost every box of abusive behavior and neglect, but one, I might be needing a therapist for life. Not with a big intensity as now. But once 1/2 a year or once a year, as a way of keeping me on track. Or a coach or whatever. About the union. Usually with clients you peel of layers and you are done. Usually breaking through painful stuff easily. But with the stone he meant it was hard work and me being so pantsered like a turtle that it was hard to break through my defences. The fear was extreme. So we just managed what I could handle. Tiny steps. I had emdr for 1 year to tackle the biggest trauma`s And since there is an awful lot of trauma more and more is revealed in therapy that needs to be healed.

[@paultje4874]

@@loobylouboti never heard of a Bowen therapist. Well about the Russian dollls. They become smaller and smaller. That is hopeful. Don`t you think so?

[@innerspace3155]

Pierre, wow! Thank you for putting yourself out there by doing this series, and for sharing your story with us. I so look forward to watching the rest of the series and gleaning what I can to help in my own healing from childhood neglect. You're doing us a huge favor, and I thank you.

[@sarina5352]

Many people who might not have experienced luckily, can't even imagine how brave one has to be to share it especially to the entire world. You feel vulnerable too. What a brave human. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@thescapegoatclub]

I’m a childhood trauma survivor too and struggle so much with being where I am, not just getting lost in my head. I’m with Pierre, 100%!

[@loobylouboti]

Whilst I cannot relate to Pierres upbringing, I can relate to many of the things that hold him back and/or, have a hold over him. I shall, as ever, be following along this journey Pierre and yourself, Alex, are willing to share with us. I truly hope that Pierre finds some healing through this process.

[@guyivie8987]

I applaud Pierre's courage in sharing his therapy sessions with us, and working on finding ways to move beyond the aftermath of his childhood experiences. Opening up in therapy isn't easy; I can't imagine doing it on camera, as well, for the world to see, which is why I see this as an act of courage. I know I'm not the only one who hopes to learn some useful lessons from this. Bravo, my friend.

[@lizwendling-sellingwithaut6011]

Pierre's story is similar to mine. I appreciate his love, generosity, and transparency to share. Many will start to heal because of his story, Hugs to Pierre!!!!

[@Betty77168]

That was a very good point that hit home when Alex said that Pierre understands in his mind what he has been through in his childhood but it's not changing how he actually feels - that realisation meant a lot to me as whenever I've been to therapy in the past I have understood and been able to articulate what childhood trauma had done to me but I haven't actually been able to change the way I feel about it.

[@janicemarsh1669]

What a profound sharing. Thank you Pierre for your open honesty and self awareness which I could totally relate to. It takes courage to step up publicly but what a great confirmation to take the journey with you. Many blessing and healing in this ongoing process. ❤

[@SuperNorini]

Thank you Pierre and Alex. 🌺🐘🙂

[@megm.c4026]

WOW! How cool! Pierre, I totally resonate with your intro (which is as far as ive gotten so far) Im 58 and live alone in the middle of rural back block NZ (well...alone but with load of animals and huge gardens etc). I love my life and am so lucky to have found a way to find a lifestyle that embraces my needs re neglect and trauma from childhood. Im looking forward to following your journey Sir. Thank you so much for sharing and kudus to you!! You speak for me also...some differences in story/experience but the impact on many the same. Ancestral healing is a hell of a journey and I hope you find better ground.I feel sure you will. And thank you also Alex. These sessions are hugely helpful.

[@ritabrophy3755]

Thank you Pierre for sharing with us. It’s a privilege.

[@maureensbordone8486]

Just found this. Very excited to follow. Bravo Pierre. Cannot wait to see how you grow and recover, how you heal and become your best self. It is work and I trust you can do it as you are in good hands.

[@ClaireMcDermott-wr3oj]

I also am trying to recover from childhood emotional neglect & other traumas, I’ve watched episode 1&2 I think? Pierre is really doing great, he has o lot of insight thankyou x

[@sandjblake75]

Thank you so much Pierre and Alex.

[@louisepoulton6441]

Your in really good hands Pierre, thank you for having the courage to share your journey with us ♥. I am currently rebuilding a relationship with myself as you will be doing too. Having rejected myself all my life as was modelled It is taking quite a bit to change that , and I wanted to share it is slowly coming. Hang in there, it will for you too. As Alex says, you have great awareness. Wishing you all the best on your journey. I will be following along. And btw You are enough! And you do deserve Love.

[@bayleymacintosh5622]

"How is your ability to give love". Ouf!! This hit me.

[@karmapema]

Wow. I love Pierre's answer to the very first question. Yes! Yes! Yes! Being present. That's the key. It confirms my view that every single therapy/inner work should start and end with lots of meditation instructions/practice. Regardless of the issues we face in life. It is always about the same thing: staying present instead of operating from our autopilot mode. Sooo looking forward to hearing about Pierre's journey. Love you already man.

[@frentbow]

Thank you for sharing your session. I'm very excited to see your journey and wish you all the best.

[@ericpeysar2593]

Pierre you are strong- to put yourself out there for us to learn from/about. Looking forward to seeing more of your journey. On a separate note. Is it through not feeling worthy of love from childhood, that someone might self sabotage a good marriage? Is it why one might push good, loving, healthy relationships away, in favour of the more familiar (a dysfunctional one)?

[@abcek6006]

Hey Pierre I just wanna comment because I can relate to so many things you have. The waiting for someone else, feeling obliged to say yes. Its difficult. But mostly that our parents have us the feeling that there is something wrong with us. There is not. You are good as you are. By the way. I just started doing movement practices, and they have a way of bringing out in the body what is in there. Or you could do chi gong. Maybe it helps.

[@abcek6006]

Also I think many of the things that Alex says are really helpful. Like that the momentum of thoughts and emotions, when built up, can be really strong. And also for me i can see it in my head. But when you can see it you no longer have to be it. At least I can accept it because I know that it is made out of a wound and that I am not it. I will not judge myself for my thoughts or feelings. Only strive for better. And strive to believe I deserve better. Self love is key. But dont strive for self love. Find ways in which the self love you have in you can come through, for example movement. Chi gong:)

[@angelic3450]

Alex talks about Pierre thinking about the life he wants to step into, the goals, ambitions, the relationships and friendships, ... and an email to structure that. Is there any way we can have a version of that email in a worksheet form on the site? I would love to work on that too. Thank you both for doing this.

[@vavavoom6816]

he is gorgeous inside out 💛🧡❤

[@carolinet7969]

beautiful, thank you and very best wishes

[@simonedemario]

Thank you both for doing this ❤

[@ommadawnDK]

Alex, you say this is the first podcast of its kind. Could you expand on that? Which qualities are you talking about?

[@lsb888]

Thankyou

[@EEEEEEELE]

And when it comes to body healing? And how you do that?

[@kiarntz]

⚘

[@barbbasso3954]

..it seems to me - that Pierre has already done so much self-analysis - plus he has had counselling in the past..but - his problem exists with the fact - that he does not realize answers he has provided for himself - which suggests to me - that he has a certain element of satisfaction in his denials - it has become a way of life for him..

[@rebeccablech1140]

Normalisation perhaps may be closer than satisfaction. The fact that he has volunteered himself for this series, especially the courage to show his vulnerability on camera, to me shows he is all too aware of how unsatisfying his reality is now. Thank you to him and to Alex and team to give the public and fellow therapists a glimpse into the therapy room. Great idea!

[@barbbasso3954]

..as long as he keeps - “playing the denial card” - he will not be helped..hopefully - he decides to stop seeking sympathy..

[@jrr239]

Childhood trauma is extremely complex & deep rooted - it is a form of PTSD - and has dictated Pierre's entire life and his relationships. Whilst he knows that he has Childhood trauma, and why, he hasn't been able to process it - and this is because it's really really difficult to confront it, and to do the work without the right help. I wish Pierre peace from this process, and with Alex's brilliant help, I do feel sure he will do well.

[@barbbasso3954]

..yes - PTSD - is the too often - “buzz label” - now..but - too many use it incorrectly..plus the fact - Pierre has definitely done a great deal of - “processing” - evidenced by his responses to questions..

[@bonnie_nelms]

@@barbbasso3954n recent years the definition of PTSD has been expanded, as it’s been understood to be far broader than just major traumatic events. Also, having an intellectual understanding is much different than “processing.” Clearly Pierre has a lot of intellectual understanding but he’s stuck in his patterns because he has NOT done the processing. That’s what he’s come to therapy for.